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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,186 --> 00:00:35,984 Marv Albert on TV: Good pressure defense, 2 00:00:36,052 --> 00:00:39,015 back out to the top of the key, yes! 3 00:00:39,084 --> 00:00:42,848 How great is Marv Albert's "Yes!"? 4 00:00:42,915 --> 00:00:44,646 Classic. 5 00:00:44,714 --> 00:00:46,145 You think he had that since he was a kid? 6 00:00:46,213 --> 00:00:49,811 You know, like, "Marvin, did you make in the potty?" 7 00:00:49,878 --> 00:00:52,309 "Yes! And it counts!" 8 00:00:53,576 --> 00:00:55,307 So, where's Carrie tonight? 9 00:00:55,375 --> 00:00:56,940 Firm's having this big party 10 00:00:57,008 --> 00:00:58,139 because they won some case. 11 00:00:58,207 --> 00:01:00,804 Ooh, so she's working late with the boss man? 12 00:01:00,872 --> 00:01:02,736 ♪ Bom boka chicka ba-kow 13 00:01:02,804 --> 00:01:04,236 ♪ Caboka yeow ow 14 00:01:04,303 --> 00:01:06,068 What is that? 15 00:01:06,136 --> 00:01:08,367 It's porno music. 16 00:01:08,434 --> 00:01:11,898 Oh. I thought it was the Starsky and Hutch theme. 17 00:01:11,966 --> 00:01:13,531 It's clearly porno music. 18 00:01:15,198 --> 00:01:16,729 That's right. ♪ Bom... 19 00:01:16,797 --> 00:01:19,594 Aah! Getting nauseous! 20 00:01:19,662 --> 00:01:20,794 Oh, I gotta run. 21 00:01:20,861 --> 00:01:22,559 I gotta pick up the kids at Kelly's. 22 00:01:22,627 --> 00:01:24,625 Can't they wait 10 minutes? We got a tie game here. 23 00:01:24,693 --> 00:01:26,357 Nah. It takes me forever to find a place to park there. 24 00:01:26,425 --> 00:01:27,889 I got a damn ticket 25 00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:28,889 when I dropped them off this morning. 26 00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,054 Hey, Arthur. Have a good one. 27 00:01:31,122 --> 00:01:34,885 You may not want to rush out of here just yet. 28 00:01:34,953 --> 00:01:36,984 I have an enticing proposition for you 29 00:01:37,052 --> 00:01:40,016 vis-à-vis your parking ticket. 30 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,349 What? 31 00:01:42,417 --> 00:01:44,147 I have a pal named Smitty. 32 00:01:44,215 --> 00:01:46,113 We were kosher slaughterers back in the fifties, 33 00:01:46,181 --> 00:01:48,313 the heyday of kosher meats. 34 00:01:48,379 --> 00:01:49,345 Uh-huh. 35 00:01:49,413 --> 00:01:52,643 One day, Smitty got cute with an ax. 36 00:01:52,711 --> 00:01:56,608 Thanks to me, he still has his thumbs. 37 00:01:56,676 --> 00:01:58,872 No pinkies, though. 38 00:01:58,940 --> 00:02:03,270 Right. My kids are waiting for me, so... 39 00:02:03,337 --> 00:02:05,635 Smitty works down at the Parking Bureau now. 40 00:02:05,704 --> 00:02:07,967 He'll fix any ticket for me. 41 00:02:08,035 --> 00:02:09,966 I appreciate the gesture, but no, thanks. 42 00:02:10,034 --> 00:02:11,466 Clean out your ears, fella! 43 00:02:11,534 --> 00:02:13,897 I can make this whole thing go away! 44 00:02:13,965 --> 00:02:15,397 All right. Knock yourself out. 45 00:02:15,465 --> 00:02:19,229 I wasn't gonna pay the thing anyway. 46 00:02:19,296 --> 00:02:21,594 Hello! 47 00:02:21,661 --> 00:02:23,160 Oh, somebody's in a good mood. 48 00:02:23,228 --> 00:02:25,758 That's because somebody won a big, fat prize 49 00:02:25,826 --> 00:02:27,290 at the party raffle. 50 00:02:27,358 --> 00:02:28,323 For the next month, 51 00:02:28,391 --> 00:02:32,587 we get 4 company seats to the Knicks. 52 00:02:32,655 --> 00:02:35,253 Yeah! No way! Aah! 53 00:02:39,285 --> 00:02:41,416 Stop! Ohhhh! 54 00:02:41,484 --> 00:02:42,482 Wa-hoo! 55 00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:46,847 Look, this is awkward. I'm sorry, you guys, 56 00:02:46,914 --> 00:02:49,478 but Doug and I are going to be taking another couple. 57 00:02:49,546 --> 00:02:50,744 What? Who? 58 00:02:50,812 --> 00:02:52,977 I don't know yet, but not them. 59 00:02:53,045 --> 00:02:56,409 Come on! We're delightful! 60 00:02:56,475 --> 00:02:59,906 Doug, I need a girl there, OK? 61 00:02:59,974 --> 00:03:01,905 While you and the other guy are talking about the game, 62 00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:03,904 we could be talking about which gorgeous black man 63 00:03:03,972 --> 00:03:06,603 fills out his shorts better. 64 00:03:07,737 --> 00:03:10,200 Come on, Car! 65 00:03:10,269 --> 00:03:12,400 I don't want to go to the Knick game 66 00:03:12,468 --> 00:03:14,599 with a couple I've never met before. 67 00:03:14,666 --> 00:03:17,631 I hate people I don't know. 68 00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:19,962 Doug, these are my tickets and I decide. 69 00:03:20,029 --> 00:03:21,961 Now, keep bitchin', I may not even take you. 70 00:03:22,028 --> 00:03:26,492 You know, winning this raffle's really changed you. 71 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,423 Oh, I know. I'll take Elly from spinning class and her husband. 72 00:03:30,491 --> 00:03:32,722 I don't know them, OK? 73 00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:35,753 Elly's great, and she told me her husband's a sports nut. 74 00:03:35,821 --> 00:03:36,752 You'll love 'em. 75 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:43,616 Ha! You might be right, but in his defense, 76 00:03:43,684 --> 00:03:45,482 those are very baggy shorts. 77 00:03:45,549 --> 00:03:47,581 Well, Number 28's shorts are baggy, 78 00:03:47,648 --> 00:03:48,780 and it ain't hurtin' him. 79 00:03:50,546 --> 00:03:54,710 Back in my day, they used a 2-handed set shot. 80 00:03:54,778 --> 00:03:57,708 Now, that was basketball. 81 00:03:57,776 --> 00:03:59,574 Did you ever see Stretch Maloney 82 00:03:59,641 --> 00:04:02,906 play for the old St. Louis Bombers? 83 00:04:03,972 --> 00:04:06,137 I don't believe I did, no. 84 00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:08,669 How you doing, hon? 85 00:04:11,068 --> 00:04:13,933 We gonna grab some food after this? 86 00:04:14,001 --> 00:04:15,698 Uh, you know, we don't have to. 87 00:04:15,766 --> 00:04:17,864 I'm sure you got an early day at work tomorrow, so... 88 00:04:17,932 --> 00:04:19,163 No, I'm retired. 89 00:04:19,231 --> 00:04:21,862 Of course, you are. 90 00:04:21,930 --> 00:04:23,728 OK, bye, you guys! We had a great time! 91 00:04:23,795 --> 00:04:25,293 See ya! Bye! 92 00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:30,124 I didn't know, OK? 93 00:04:30,191 --> 00:04:32,289 In all the times you were spinning, 94 00:04:32,357 --> 00:04:34,288 she never once said, "Hey, great workout. 95 00:04:34,356 --> 00:04:37,487 By the way, my husband, a billion years old." 96 00:04:37,555 --> 00:04:41,252 I don't think it's a big deal. I really don't. 97 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:42,751 Of course you don't. Because you're not the one 98 00:04:42,819 --> 00:04:46,649 who had to remind him where he was after he woke up from his nap! 99 00:04:46,716 --> 00:04:49,580 Doug, you are just rejecting him because he's old. 100 00:04:49,647 --> 00:04:52,145 That's called ageism, and it's illegal. 101 00:04:52,213 --> 00:04:54,978 I oughta punch you square in the mouth. 102 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,942 I understand if you want to do the couple thing, 103 00:04:58,010 --> 00:04:59,807 but we got to find a couple that works for both of us, OK? 104 00:04:59,876 --> 00:05:03,073 And right now, Grandpa Munster ain't getting it done! 105 00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:06,204 OK, I'm open to suggestions, 106 00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:08,004 and don't say Danny and Spence. 107 00:05:08,072 --> 00:05:10,402 Danny and Deacon. No. 108 00:05:10,470 --> 00:05:13,201 OK, then, hey, how about Eddie, you know, from work? 109 00:05:13,269 --> 00:05:14,200 He's got a girlfriend. 110 00:05:14,268 --> 00:05:15,267 OK. I like Eddie. 111 00:05:15,333 --> 00:05:17,066 What do we know about the girlfriend? 112 00:05:17,134 --> 00:05:19,830 I know she has all her own heart valves. 113 00:05:26,629 --> 00:05:29,392 Hello. I'd like to see Smitty, please. 114 00:05:29,460 --> 00:05:30,459 Smitty? 115 00:05:30,527 --> 00:05:34,289 Medium build, brown hair? 116 00:05:34,357 --> 00:05:36,289 No pinkies? 117 00:05:36,356 --> 00:05:38,420 Oh, Nubsy. 118 00:05:38,488 --> 00:05:40,820 He hasn't been here in, like, 5 years. 119 00:05:40,888 --> 00:05:42,019 Mmm, that's too bad. 120 00:05:42,087 --> 00:05:44,118 He used to handle my tickets for me. 121 00:05:45,685 --> 00:05:48,915 Oh, well. I suppose the baton shall pass to a new generation. 122 00:05:48,983 --> 00:05:53,613 Now, make like Houdini and get this ticket to disappear. 123 00:05:53,681 --> 00:05:54,946 I'm sorry. I can't. 124 00:05:55,013 --> 00:05:57,910 Look, I told my friend I would make this go away. 125 00:05:57,978 --> 00:06:01,808 Don't make me slink back to him with my tail between my legs. 126 00:06:01,876 --> 00:06:04,074 Sir, there's really nothing I can do. 127 00:06:07,139 --> 00:06:10,303 Perhaps a visit 128 00:06:10,371 --> 00:06:15,901 from Mr. Abraham Lincoln would change your mind? 129 00:06:17,101 --> 00:06:18,966 I don't think so. 130 00:06:20,532 --> 00:06:24,329 What if Mr. Jackson came along for the ride? 131 00:06:24,397 --> 00:06:27,562 Sir, for 2 more dollars, you could just pay the ticket. 132 00:06:27,629 --> 00:06:32,891 How about if only one of the Washington twins showed up? 133 00:06:32,959 --> 00:06:35,223 I'm gonna need them both. 134 00:06:35,291 --> 00:06:37,822 Righto. 135 00:06:42,254 --> 00:06:44,385 Come on! Play some defense! 136 00:06:44,453 --> 00:06:47,216 My cleaning lady could have blocked that shot! 137 00:06:51,315 --> 00:06:54,613 Nice steal, man. Hey, I think he heard you! 138 00:06:54,681 --> 00:06:58,078 See, you treat 'em like dirt and they do what you want. 139 00:06:58,145 --> 00:07:01,776 You know, you're gonna make a great dad someday. 140 00:07:01,843 --> 00:07:04,874 I mean, the doctor told me it was totally normal, 141 00:07:04,941 --> 00:07:09,871 but I don't know. Are your breasts lopsided? 142 00:07:09,938 --> 00:07:11,571 No. 143 00:07:16,402 --> 00:07:19,467 Oh, Carrie, if you're free tomorrow afternoon, 144 00:07:19,534 --> 00:07:20,931 you want to maybe grab some coffee? 145 00:07:20,999 --> 00:07:22,797 Oh, I have a spinning class. Sorry. Yeah. 146 00:07:22,865 --> 00:07:25,196 Good for you. I should exercise more. 147 00:07:25,265 --> 00:07:26,663 Do some stretching. 148 00:07:26,730 --> 00:07:30,926 Maybe then sex wouldn't be so incredibly uncomfortable for me. 149 00:07:30,994 --> 00:07:33,991 I'm tiny down there. 150 00:07:44,154 --> 00:07:45,352 Let me freshen you up there. 151 00:07:45,420 --> 00:07:47,351 Oh, my, very generous. 152 00:07:47,419 --> 00:07:50,350 I hope you're not gonna try to take advantage of me later. 153 00:07:50,418 --> 00:07:53,248 Again, Arthur, no. 154 00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:54,615 Hey, Deac. 155 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:57,613 Arthur! What brings you to our little watering hole? 156 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,444 Fellas, say hello to the fixer. 157 00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:02,044 He's drinking on me tonight. 158 00:08:02,145 --> 00:08:03,509 What are you talking about? 159 00:08:03,577 --> 00:08:05,242 He fixed my parking ticket, like magic. 160 00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:07,340 He's like... He's like the Lucky Charms guy. 161 00:08:07,408 --> 00:08:08,673 Tell him the story. 162 00:08:08,741 --> 00:08:11,871 I merely gave it to my pal Smitty downtown. 163 00:08:11,939 --> 00:08:15,637 He ripped it up and threw it in the air like so much confetti. 164 00:08:15,705 --> 00:08:18,035 He's theatrical that way. 165 00:08:18,103 --> 00:08:19,134 Wow! 166 00:08:19,202 --> 00:08:20,201 Hey, you know, me and Spence get tickets 167 00:08:20,268 --> 00:08:21,833 in front of our building all the time. 168 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:22,999 Don't worry about it, man. 169 00:08:23,067 --> 00:08:24,998 From now on, just give them to the fixer here. 170 00:08:25,066 --> 00:08:25,998 Really? 171 00:08:26,066 --> 00:08:27,130 Could we? 172 00:08:27,198 --> 00:08:28,329 Ah... 173 00:08:28,397 --> 00:08:29,495 Are you kidding? This guy's got the hookup. 174 00:08:29,563 --> 00:08:31,761 He just feeds them to Smitty, and they go away. 175 00:08:31,829 --> 00:08:32,827 Right, Arthur? 176 00:08:37,792 --> 00:08:39,391 Park with impunity! 177 00:08:52,084 --> 00:08:55,249 ♪ I got a feelin' 178 00:08:55,316 --> 00:08:58,914 ♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪ 179 00:08:58,981 --> 00:09:03,444 ♪ Whoa, I got a feelin' 180 00:09:03,512 --> 00:09:06,809 ♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪ 181 00:09:06,877 --> 00:09:11,273 ♪ Whoa, whoa, I got a feelin' ♪ 182 00:09:11,341 --> 00:09:14,904 ♪ Everything is gonna be all right ♪ 183 00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:18,869 ♪ Be all right, be all right ♪ 184 00:09:18,937 --> 00:09:22,201 ♪ Be all right 185 00:09:29,564 --> 00:09:31,795 Video Game Announcer: On the attack, bringing the ball up court. 186 00:09:31,862 --> 00:09:32,995 Houston brings it down... 187 00:09:33,062 --> 00:09:34,028 Yes! 188 00:09:34,096 --> 00:09:35,593 Ha ha ha! 189 00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,759 You know, we should actually go to the park 190 00:09:37,826 --> 00:09:40,057 and play hoops sometime. 191 00:09:40,125 --> 00:09:42,823 I'm gonna level with you. I'm winded from this. 192 00:09:45,355 --> 00:09:46,987 Ah, you know what? I gotta run. 193 00:09:47,055 --> 00:09:48,353 Just gotta make a pit stop first. 194 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,419 Announcer: They have 90... 195 00:09:51,619 --> 00:09:52,717 Hey. Hey. 196 00:09:52,785 --> 00:09:54,583 Hey, Doug. Hey, Elly. 197 00:09:54,651 --> 00:09:56,082 All right, I gotta get going. 198 00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,915 Car, can I just fill up my water bottle? 199 00:09:57,982 --> 00:09:59,113 Carrie: Yeah. Right in there. 200 00:10:01,180 --> 00:10:02,178 Hmm. 201 00:10:02,246 --> 00:10:03,978 Elly's filling up her water bottle, 202 00:10:04,045 --> 00:10:05,844 and Eddie's peeing upstairs. 203 00:10:05,912 --> 00:10:08,342 It's the circle of life. 204 00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:10,008 Hey, I got Knick tickets for Friday. 205 00:10:10,075 --> 00:10:12,640 What do you say we give Elly and Stuart another shot, huh? 206 00:10:12,707 --> 00:10:14,139 Oldie? Not a chance. 207 00:10:14,206 --> 00:10:15,871 Hey, let's... let's ask Eddie and Simone. 208 00:10:15,939 --> 00:10:18,537 What? Do you think that couple worked for me? 209 00:10:18,604 --> 00:10:22,334 I'm not spending another 3 hours with... with Lopsidey. 210 00:10:23,935 --> 00:10:25,866 OK, that is a really dumb nickname. 211 00:10:25,934 --> 00:10:29,031 OK, would you prefer Tiny Giny? 212 00:10:34,429 --> 00:10:35,994 I think I would. 213 00:10:36,062 --> 00:10:37,893 Well, I'm asking Elly. 214 00:10:37,961 --> 00:10:39,192 I'm... Well, I'm asking Eddie. 215 00:10:39,260 --> 00:10:40,391 Don't you dare. 216 00:10:40,459 --> 00:10:41,757 D-Don't you dare me. 217 00:10:41,825 --> 00:10:44,123 Hey! Hey! You and Stuart wanna go to the Knicks on Friday? 218 00:10:44,191 --> 00:10:46,621 Oh, I would love to, but we can't. 219 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:49,786 Stuart's away at his 50th high school reunion. 220 00:10:49,855 --> 00:10:50,986 Aww. 221 00:10:52,919 --> 00:10:54,917 Hey, Eddie, Eddie. You and Simone busy Friday night? 222 00:10:54,985 --> 00:10:56,350 You wanna go to the Knick game? 223 00:10:56,417 --> 00:10:58,781 Oh, sorry, man. She's gonna be out of town for a work thing. 224 00:10:58,850 --> 00:11:00,613 Aww. 225 00:11:02,148 --> 00:11:03,745 Hey. I'm Eddie. 226 00:11:03,813 --> 00:11:07,044 Hey. I'm Elly. Nice to meet you. 227 00:11:29,599 --> 00:11:31,797 There's no way I can pay all these tickets. 228 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,463 The boys are gonna find out I'm a fraud. 229 00:11:33,531 --> 00:11:35,328 It's over. Over! 230 00:11:35,396 --> 00:11:38,892 Smitty's still gonna take care of my ticket, right? 231 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:44,957 There is no Smitty, you crazy old man! 232 00:11:46,756 --> 00:11:50,820 I curse the day I ever met that 8-fingered freak. 233 00:11:50,888 --> 00:11:53,818 Wh-What if I called Smitty myself? 234 00:11:53,886 --> 00:11:56,917 Shut up! 235 00:11:58,750 --> 00:12:00,282 Great night. 236 00:12:00,349 --> 00:12:01,681 Fantastic. 237 00:12:01,748 --> 00:12:03,847 We finally find the perfect couple, 238 00:12:03,915 --> 00:12:05,879 and they're not even a couple. 239 00:12:05,947 --> 00:12:08,111 I know. I mean, it was incredible. 240 00:12:08,179 --> 00:12:10,177 Me and him, you and her, me and her! 241 00:12:10,244 --> 00:12:11,375 You and him! 242 00:12:11,443 --> 00:12:14,674 It was working from every angle! 243 00:12:14,741 --> 00:12:16,873 I mean, why can't Eddie and Elly just be a couple? 244 00:12:16,941 --> 00:12:18,471 We could do everything with them. 245 00:12:18,539 --> 00:12:20,337 Movies, barbecues. 246 00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:23,369 Vermont. We've always wanted to go to Vermont. 247 00:12:23,437 --> 00:12:26,401 They would be phenomenal in Vermont. 248 00:12:26,468 --> 00:12:29,465 I can't believe they're attached to other people. 249 00:12:29,533 --> 00:12:30,465 It sucks. 250 00:12:30,533 --> 00:12:33,330 Cupid really botched this one. 251 00:12:33,398 --> 00:12:36,828 Swing and a miss for the naked baby. 252 00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:38,794 How sweet would it be 253 00:12:38,862 --> 00:12:42,026 if Oldie and Tiny were out of the picture? 254 00:12:42,093 --> 00:12:44,924 Then we could just put Eddie and Elly together. 255 00:12:44,991 --> 00:12:47,123 Hey, maybe we can sit down with all of them 256 00:12:47,191 --> 00:12:51,120 and very politely ask them to switch partners. 257 00:12:51,188 --> 00:12:54,952 Or we can cut Oldie and Tiny's brakes, 258 00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:57,151 like they do in the movies. 259 00:12:57,218 --> 00:13:00,515 That's good, but I don't fit under cars anymore. 260 00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:02,015 All right, let's just stop this. 261 00:13:02,083 --> 00:13:04,413 We're just torturing ourselves. 262 00:13:04,481 --> 00:13:06,013 You're right, you're right. 263 00:13:06,081 --> 00:13:08,046 Eddie and Elly are not together, 264 00:13:08,113 --> 00:13:09,610 and they never will be. 265 00:13:09,678 --> 00:13:12,142 We just need to forget tonight ever happened. 266 00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:15,341 I can't. 267 00:13:25,037 --> 00:13:26,636 Thank you, Mr. Spooner. 268 00:13:26,703 --> 00:13:27,701 No, thank you. 269 00:13:27,769 --> 00:13:28,867 Now, please make the check out 270 00:13:28,935 --> 00:13:31,733 to the Parking Violations Bureau. 271 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,998 Oh, we don't pay people for their blood anymore. 272 00:13:34,065 --> 00:13:35,132 What? 273 00:13:35,199 --> 00:13:37,363 Only the less reputable places still pay cash. 274 00:13:37,431 --> 00:13:39,262 Uh-huh. 275 00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:41,261 I'd like my blood back, please. 276 00:13:41,329 --> 00:13:42,860 What? You heard me. 277 00:13:42,928 --> 00:13:43,993 Pump it back in. 278 00:13:44,060 --> 00:13:45,758 I'm taking my business elsewhere. 279 00:13:45,826 --> 00:13:47,957 I can't pump your blood back in. 280 00:13:48,025 --> 00:13:49,923 You were gonna pump it into someone else, right? 281 00:13:49,991 --> 00:13:50,922 Yes. 282 00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:53,488 Well, meet someone else. 283 00:13:53,555 --> 00:13:54,488 Sorry. 284 00:14:13,111 --> 00:14:15,243 I had a great time the other night 285 00:14:15,311 --> 00:14:17,276 with you guys and Eddie. 286 00:14:17,343 --> 00:14:19,907 Oh, we did, too. Great time. 287 00:14:19,975 --> 00:14:21,906 Actually, it was just what I needed. 288 00:14:21,973 --> 00:14:23,039 Huh? 289 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,738 Well, can I tell you something? 290 00:14:25,806 --> 00:14:27,570 Sure. 291 00:14:27,638 --> 00:14:30,335 Things aren't going that well between me and Stuart. 292 00:14:31,868 --> 00:14:33,567 Well... Well, what do you mean? 293 00:14:33,634 --> 00:14:35,632 Oh, don't get me wrong. He's great. 294 00:14:35,699 --> 00:14:38,131 Really. It's just a lot of stuff. 295 00:14:38,197 --> 00:14:41,529 I mean, the age difference and, uh... 296 00:14:41,596 --> 00:14:43,161 You know what? 297 00:14:43,229 --> 00:14:44,360 I'm overreacting. 298 00:14:44,429 --> 00:14:45,560 Forget it. Everything's fine. 299 00:14:45,628 --> 00:14:48,558 No, no... Hey, slow down there, girly-girl. 300 00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:50,090 Let's talk. 301 00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:59,118 What... What's with you? 302 00:14:59,186 --> 00:15:00,485 I did it, Doug. 303 00:15:00,553 --> 00:15:01,818 Did what? 304 00:15:01,885 --> 00:15:03,450 I don't know how it started, 305 00:15:03,517 --> 00:15:05,350 but... but... but she said something 306 00:15:05,416 --> 00:15:07,248 about things not going well with her and Stuart, 307 00:15:07,316 --> 00:15:08,814 you know, like, he's old and everything. 308 00:15:08,881 --> 00:15:10,946 And before I knew it, I said, yeah, 309 00:15:11,013 --> 00:15:12,446 and what if you guys do wanna have kids... 310 00:15:12,513 --> 00:15:14,510 I just thought of that one right there on the spot... 311 00:15:14,578 --> 00:15:16,710 And she said, yeah, 312 00:15:16,777 --> 00:15:19,041 that it has been an issue, and then I said, well, 313 00:15:19,108 --> 00:15:20,808 hey, maybe you guys should think about takin' a break, 314 00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:22,240 and now... and she said, yeah, 315 00:15:22,307 --> 00:15:23,572 and now they're separating. Ha ha... 316 00:15:26,772 --> 00:15:28,203 What? I'm hungry, Doug! 317 00:15:28,271 --> 00:15:29,569 Come on, let's go get some steaks, baby. 318 00:15:29,637 --> 00:15:31,568 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 319 00:15:31,636 --> 00:15:33,334 You broke up a marriage? 320 00:15:33,401 --> 00:15:34,699 It was headed there anyway. 321 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,798 Now all you gotta do is break up Eddie and Tiny. 322 00:15:36,866 --> 00:15:38,165 What? 323 00:15:38,232 --> 00:15:40,729 What "what"? This is exactly what we talked about! 324 00:15:40,797 --> 00:15:41,929 We also talked about cutting their brakes. 325 00:15:41,996 --> 00:15:43,128 You wanna do that, too? 326 00:15:43,196 --> 00:15:45,726 We don't have to do that now, ya doof. 327 00:15:45,794 --> 00:15:47,625 Hello? Ha ha ha! 328 00:15:49,526 --> 00:15:51,291 Oh, my God, you are terrifying. 329 00:15:51,359 --> 00:15:53,490 Kids are gonna start wearing you as a Halloween mask! 330 00:15:53,557 --> 00:15:56,121 Doug! Doug, we're halfway there. 331 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,621 I broke up a marriage. All you gotta do 332 00:15:57,689 --> 00:15:59,386 is break up a boyfriend and a girlfriend. 333 00:15:59,454 --> 00:16:00,752 I could do that before breakfast. 334 00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:02,218 No, no! I'm... I'm not doin' it! 335 00:16:02,286 --> 00:16:03,485 Doug, Vermont! 336 00:16:03,552 --> 00:16:04,917 Think of Vermont. 337 00:16:04,985 --> 00:16:06,316 Skiing... 338 00:16:06,383 --> 00:16:09,014 just the 4 of us relaxing in the hot tub? 339 00:16:09,082 --> 00:16:11,481 I betcha they look pretty when they're wet. 340 00:16:11,547 --> 00:16:14,178 No, that is it! End of story, OK? 341 00:16:17,144 --> 00:16:19,243 Stop staring, devil woman! 342 00:16:24,407 --> 00:16:27,871 I... I'm sorry I didn't check in, Simone. 343 00:16:27,939 --> 00:16:30,670 Yeah, I just... I can't call you every 10 minutes! 344 00:16:30,737 --> 00:16:31,936 Yeah. 345 00:16:32,003 --> 00:16:34,400 I'm havin' a beer with Doug. 346 00:16:34,469 --> 00:16:36,433 Oh, it's one beer, OK? 347 00:16:36,501 --> 00:16:37,999 I'll see you at home. 348 00:16:40,898 --> 00:16:43,563 Man, Simone is all over me lately. 349 00:16:43,630 --> 00:16:45,862 You know what I'm all over? 350 00:16:45,929 --> 00:16:48,760 Purple M&Ms. 351 00:16:48,828 --> 00:16:50,525 I fought 'em for a while, but... 352 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:52,724 they won. 353 00:16:53,791 --> 00:16:56,189 I mean, she's pretty, but... 354 00:16:56,257 --> 00:16:58,155 she's really needy! 355 00:16:58,222 --> 00:17:01,386 You know, she's always asking if I think her boobs look normal. 356 00:17:03,119 --> 00:17:06,083 "They look fine. Now, can you put them back in?" 357 00:17:09,116 --> 00:17:11,414 I just don't know. What should I do here, Doug? 358 00:17:23,574 --> 00:17:25,106 It's done. 359 00:17:46,063 --> 00:17:47,128 Hey, it's the fixer! 360 00:17:47,196 --> 00:17:52,492 All, applauding: Hey, Fixie! Hey! 361 00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:55,357 Gentlemen, can I have a moment of your time? 362 00:17:55,424 --> 00:17:58,523 Sure. Make some space for the fixer, boys. 363 00:17:58,589 --> 00:18:00,121 There we go. Right there. 364 00:18:00,189 --> 00:18:01,253 Fellas, 365 00:18:01,321 --> 00:18:03,453 these, uh, past few weeks 366 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,318 we've spent together, 367 00:18:05,386 --> 00:18:06,884 they've meant the world to me, 368 00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:10,116 but the truth is... 369 00:18:15,813 --> 00:18:17,145 The truth is... 370 00:18:19,744 --> 00:18:21,609 it's an honor to fix your tickets! 371 00:18:22,876 --> 00:18:23,808 Fixie! 372 00:18:23,875 --> 00:18:24,807 Fixie! 373 00:18:29,673 --> 00:18:32,437 Oh, Fixie, Fixie! 374 00:19:26,076 --> 00:19:27,607 Great game, huh, honey? 375 00:19:29,174 --> 00:19:30,239 What's your problem? 376 00:19:30,307 --> 00:19:31,638 They're my problem. 377 00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:34,970 What? Well, look at them. They're perfect! 378 00:19:35,037 --> 00:19:36,602 We made a beautiful match. 379 00:19:36,669 --> 00:19:38,634 No, we took 4 innocent people into the lab 380 00:19:38,702 --> 00:19:40,600 and built ourselves a Franken-couple. 381 00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:41,899 Just stop it! 382 00:19:43,899 --> 00:19:45,863 Hey, uh, are you guys OK over there? 383 00:19:45,931 --> 00:19:48,262 Oh, yeah, yeah. It's all good over here. No problems. 384 00:19:48,330 --> 00:19:49,329 Yeah, it's all good. 385 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:50,995 We're fine. We... We got what we want, 386 00:19:51,062 --> 00:19:53,193 and, clearly, that's all that really matters. 387 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,458 Oh, just Diet Coke for me, baby. Thanks. 388 00:19:56,527 --> 00:19:57,892 Mm-wah. 389 00:19:58,892 --> 00:20:00,223 What is up with Doug? 390 00:20:00,291 --> 00:20:01,255 I don't know. 391 00:20:01,323 --> 00:20:03,787 He's been actin' like a real tool lately. 392 00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,986 I don't get it. What does Carrie see in him? 393 00:20:06,054 --> 00:20:07,185 I don't know. 394 00:20:09,985 --> 00:20:11,682 Jeff! 395 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:13,949 Oh, my God! Eddie! How ya doin'? 396 00:20:14,017 --> 00:20:16,947 Great! Wow, it's been a few years, huh? 397 00:20:17,015 --> 00:20:18,280 How'd you score these seats? 398 00:20:18,347 --> 00:20:20,512 Oh, uh, we got them from our friend Carrie. 399 00:20:20,579 --> 00:20:22,810 Ooh, she's cute. 400 00:20:22,878 --> 00:20:25,209 What's her situation? 401 00:20:25,277 --> 00:20:27,174 Well... 402 00:20:31,507 --> 00:20:32,471 she's with someone, 403 00:20:32,539 --> 00:20:35,569 but they seem to fight a lot lately. 404 00:20:37,170 --> 00:20:39,002 Uh, Carrie? 405 00:20:39,069 --> 00:20:40,833 Meet Jeff. 406 00:20:40,902 --> 00:20:42,200 Hello. 407 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,226 Hi. 408 00:20:55,294 --> 00:20:56,325 Hi. 409 00:20:56,393 --> 00:20:58,558 Oh, I'm sorry. I... I didn't mean to stare, 410 00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:01,856 but you just look so lovely in that sweater. 411 00:21:01,924 --> 00:21:03,356 Really? 412 00:21:03,423 --> 00:21:06,521 'Cause it... it's hard for me to shop. 413 00:21:06,588 --> 00:21:09,285 I'm a little uneven on top. 414 00:21:09,353 --> 00:21:12,150 Well, you look perfect to me. 29380

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