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1
00:00:05,998 --> 00:00:07,160
Hey, honey.
2
00:00:07,228 --> 00:00:08,658
Hey, what do you got? What do you got?
What do you got?
3
00:00:08,726 --> 00:00:10,322
Hang on. You got my arm in there.
Hang on!
4
00:00:10,390 --> 00:00:11,521
Would you relax?
5
00:00:11,589 --> 00:00:12,419
I'm sorry. I get excited
6
00:00:12,487 --> 00:00:13,850
when the grocery bags arrive.
7
00:00:13,917 --> 00:00:16,147
It's like Christmas, only...
8
00:00:16,214 --> 00:00:19,308
I don't have to
get you anything.
9
00:00:19,376 --> 00:00:21,006
Yeah, well, there's a
box of Tide in the car.
10
00:00:21,074 --> 00:00:22,371
Can you go get that?
11
00:00:22,438 --> 00:00:25,533
Not unless it's cherry flavored.
12
00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:26,798
Oh, here it is,
13
00:00:26,865 --> 00:00:29,160
underneath the broccoli.
14
00:00:29,228 --> 00:00:30,990
Cool Ranch Doritos.
15
00:00:31,058 --> 00:00:32,323
"Now zestier."
16
00:00:32,390 --> 00:00:33,653
I'm glad they warned me.
17
00:00:33,721 --> 00:00:35,119
Honey, honey...
18
00:00:35,185 --> 00:00:37,347
Honey, wait. Why don't
you just try an apple?
19
00:00:37,414 --> 00:00:38,513
Oh, come on, all right?
20
00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:40,743
You buy 'em, they sit
there, you throw 'em out.
21
00:00:40,810 --> 00:00:43,172
Let's stop the dance.
22
00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,136
Come on. You know how
you're always telling me
23
00:00:45,204 --> 00:00:47,632
you can't breathe and
your heart feels bad?
24
00:00:47,699 --> 00:00:48,996
This can help.
25
00:00:50,528 --> 00:00:51,959
All right, fine. I don't care...
26
00:00:52,027 --> 00:00:53,390
Is that a whole salami?
27
00:00:53,491 --> 00:00:54,622
Focus... Focus, Doug.
28
00:00:54,689 --> 00:00:55,420
Focus.
29
00:00:55,487 --> 00:00:56,618
All right. All right.
30
00:00:56,686 --> 00:00:57,816
What's the big deal?
31
00:00:57,884 --> 00:00:59,348
It doesn't matter.
32
00:01:00,413 --> 00:01:01,645
Not bad.
33
00:01:01,712 --> 00:01:03,075
See? What did I tell you?
34
00:01:03,143 --> 00:01:04,872
What's the matter?
What's the matter?
35
00:01:07,069 --> 00:01:09,265
I ate the sticker!
36
00:01:12,029 --> 00:01:15,323
This is why I don't eat apples!
37
00:02:01,057 --> 00:02:02,887
What's goin' on?
38
00:02:08,846 --> 00:02:10,975
And the Holy Spirit. Amen.
39
00:02:11,043 --> 00:02:12,805
Bless me, Father,
for I have sinned.
40
00:02:12,872 --> 00:02:14,304
It has been...
41
00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:16,266
since my last confession.
42
00:02:16,334 --> 00:02:17,964
I'm sorry, how long?
43
00:02:19,197 --> 00:02:21,158
14 years.
44
00:02:21,226 --> 00:02:22,025
Whoa.
45
00:02:22,092 --> 00:02:23,422
Yeah.
46
00:02:23,489 --> 00:02:24,620
Yeah, yeah. You
know, I was gonna
47
00:02:24,688 --> 00:02:26,150
come in sooner, but I just...
48
00:02:26,218 --> 00:02:28,647
I figured you were a
very busy guy, and...
49
00:02:28,715 --> 00:02:31,276
all I had was repeat
offenses, and...
50
00:02:31,344 --> 00:02:33,273
I just... I wanted to wait
until I had something
51
00:02:33,341 --> 00:02:35,670
that really... would
blow your collar off.
52
00:02:35,737 --> 00:02:37,334
And do you?
53
00:02:37,401 --> 00:02:38,766
Oh, yeah.
54
00:02:40,496 --> 00:02:42,060
Carrie: You almost
ready there, chief?
55
00:02:42,127 --> 00:02:43,225
Just about.
56
00:02:45,523 --> 00:02:47,917
Is that how you're
gonna wear your tie?
57
00:02:47,985 --> 00:02:50,746
It took me, like, 30 tries.
It looks fine.
58
00:02:50,813 --> 00:02:54,242
It looks fine if
you're Oliver Hardy.
59
00:02:54,309 --> 00:02:55,341
Fix it, OK?
60
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:57,237
And button up your
shirt all the way.
61
00:02:57,304 --> 00:03:00,365
Have you met my neck?
62
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:03,992
Well, listen... I want you to act
like a grown-up tonight, OK?
63
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:05,225
Yeah, yeah.
64
00:03:05,293 --> 00:03:07,188
That means none of
your funny noises
65
00:03:07,256 --> 00:03:09,018
during the ceremony.
66
00:03:09,086 --> 00:03:11,482
Hey, if somebody bends
over during a quiet patch,
67
00:03:11,550 --> 00:03:13,212
it's open season.
68
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,644
Doug, I'm serious.
69
00:03:14,711 --> 00:03:16,474
This wedding is special to me.
70
00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:17,805
Special. Please.
71
00:03:17,873 --> 00:03:18,970
It is!
72
00:03:19,038 --> 00:03:20,301
I set Jake and Samantha up.
73
00:03:20,369 --> 00:03:21,965
I mean, I saw these two people,
74
00:03:22,033 --> 00:03:24,462
I knew they would be perfect
for each other, and they were.
75
00:03:24,530 --> 00:03:25,760
They're soul mates.
76
00:03:25,827 --> 00:03:27,291
Get ahold of
yourself, would you?
77
00:03:27,358 --> 00:03:28,954
I mean, you set her
up with 26 guys,
78
00:03:29,022 --> 00:03:31,983
you finally found one who didn't try
to push her out of his moving car.
79
00:03:32,050 --> 00:03:33,714
It wasn't that many guys.
80
00:03:33,782 --> 00:03:36,111
Are you kidding me? There
was Steve, my cousin Danny,
81
00:03:36,179 --> 00:03:38,009
the guy you met online
at Waldbaum's...
82
00:03:38,077 --> 00:03:39,606
All right, so it took a while.
83
00:03:39,673 --> 00:03:41,902
She's my friend. I wanted to make
sure she found somebody great.
84
00:03:41,969 --> 00:03:43,666
You always say how
annoying she is.
85
00:03:43,734 --> 00:03:45,230
Exactly. She's my
annoying friend.
86
00:03:45,298 --> 00:03:47,793
OK? You have a
garage full of them.
87
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,822
Hopefully now she'll spend less
time being my annoying friend
88
00:03:50,889 --> 00:03:53,019
and more time being
his annoying wife.
89
00:03:53,086 --> 00:03:55,715
OK, how about this? No tie,
unbuttoned down to here
90
00:03:55,781 --> 00:03:58,210
like a Bee Gee.
91
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:01,338
Nancy Wilson: ♪ The
best is yet to come
92
00:04:01,406 --> 00:04:06,330
♪ And, babe, won't it be fine? ♪
93
00:04:06,398 --> 00:04:08,528
♪ The best is yet to come
94
00:04:08,596 --> 00:04:12,155
♪ On the day you're mine ♪
95
00:04:12,223 --> 00:04:13,620
♪ Come the day you're mine... ♪
96
00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:14,884
What could be better
97
00:04:14,952 --> 00:04:16,981
than dancing with
my handsome son?
98
00:04:17,049 --> 00:04:19,278
OK. Keep the hands
10:00 and 2:00, Mom.
99
00:04:19,344 --> 00:04:20,477
That's it.
100
00:04:20,544 --> 00:04:22,905
All right, folks, let's get
this party started, now.
101
00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:24,803
Who wants to shake
their groove thang?
102
00:04:24,871 --> 00:04:28,197
Whoo!
103
00:04:31,527 --> 00:04:32,325
Come on, Dougie!
104
00:04:35,055 --> 00:04:37,883
Uh... I think I left my
groove thang on the table,
105
00:04:37,950 --> 00:04:39,513
and I'm pretty sure
you don't have one,
106
00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:40,545
so I...
107
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:41,610
Aw, come on,
108
00:04:41,645 --> 00:04:43,241
don't be such a negative Nelly.
109
00:04:43,308 --> 00:04:45,272
Uh, Spence, my mom wants
to dance with you.
110
00:04:45,339 --> 00:04:46,703
Oh, sweet!
111
00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,096
Say cheese!
112
00:04:51,163 --> 00:04:52,095
Cut it out.
113
00:04:52,162 --> 00:04:53,759
Ooh, that's a good one.
114
00:04:53,826 --> 00:04:54,990
What's goin' on?
115
00:04:55,091 --> 00:04:57,021
They put all these disposable
cameras on the tables
116
00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:58,750
for us to take pictures.
117
00:04:58,818 --> 00:05:00,183
Say, "I was dumped
by the bride."
118
00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,513
Shut up!
119
00:05:01,582 --> 00:05:02,712
I loved her.
120
00:05:02,780 --> 00:05:04,676
Guy, you went out with
her for, like, a month.
121
00:05:04,743 --> 00:05:07,005
You don't know what we had!
122
00:05:07,072 --> 00:05:08,835
That's the money shot.
123
00:05:08,903 --> 00:05:11,066
Hour 4 of wedding.
124
00:05:11,134 --> 00:05:12,630
Kill me.
125
00:05:12,698 --> 00:05:14,959
Help me out here and wing those
candies at him. Come on.
126
00:05:15,027 --> 00:05:15,958
OK.
127
00:05:19,254 --> 00:05:20,884
Doug. Doug.
128
00:05:20,952 --> 00:05:23,180
Why are you throwing
candy at his head?
129
00:05:23,248 --> 00:05:25,343
It's a wedding.
130
00:05:25,411 --> 00:05:27,274
Hey, guys!
131
00:05:27,341 --> 00:05:30,169
We're married!
132
00:05:30,237 --> 00:05:31,766
Yes, you are!
133
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:33,265
You guys having fun?
134
00:05:33,332 --> 00:05:34,597
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
135
00:05:34,664 --> 00:05:36,826
You know what? I almost wore
that exact same dress tonight.
136
00:05:36,894 --> 00:05:39,023
How awkward would
that have been?
137
00:05:39,091 --> 00:05:40,321
Awkward or sexy.
138
00:05:43,850 --> 00:05:45,146
Oh, you guys, thank you so much
139
00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,810
for throwing that
brunch tomorrow.
140
00:05:46,878 --> 00:05:47,976
Oh, no problem.
141
00:05:48,043 --> 00:05:48,741
Just my way
142
00:05:48,809 --> 00:05:50,305
of sending you off in style.
143
00:05:50,373 --> 00:05:53,167
Now that you're married, we're
probably not gonna talk as much...
144
00:05:53,235 --> 00:05:54,300
Sure we will. No, we won't!
145
00:05:54,367 --> 00:05:55,398
No, we won't.
146
00:05:55,464 --> 00:05:56,495
But, um...
147
00:05:56,563 --> 00:05:58,559
we'll always have a bond,
148
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:00,823
an unspoken bond.
149
00:06:00,891 --> 00:06:02,387
Oh, that's true.
150
00:06:02,455 --> 00:06:05,049
And thanks to you,
I've got my husband
151
00:06:05,117 --> 00:06:07,046
and my best friend.
152
00:06:07,114 --> 00:06:08,577
P-uke!
153
00:06:10,742 --> 00:06:12,405
You had to invite him.
154
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:14,368
I was just trying to be nice.
155
00:06:14,436 --> 00:06:15,534
OK, great. Whatever.
156
00:06:15,601 --> 00:06:17,431
Excuse us.
157
00:06:18,597 --> 00:06:20,193
Hey, guys!
158
00:06:20,261 --> 00:06:22,257
We're married!
159
00:06:23,589 --> 00:06:24,819
OK.
160
00:06:24,886 --> 00:06:25,718
They saw us,
161
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,681
she danced with her
clearly gay father.
162
00:06:27,749 --> 00:06:29,179
Can we leave?
163
00:06:29,246 --> 00:06:31,342
No. We have to stay at
least another hour.
164
00:06:31,410 --> 00:06:32,674
I have a toast to make.
165
00:06:32,742 --> 00:06:34,005
Another hour?
166
00:06:34,072 --> 00:06:36,402
Nothing good ever happens
when we dress up.
167
00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:39,663
I have to go. Samantha
has to pee again
168
00:06:39,731 --> 00:06:42,824
and I'm in charge of
lifting her dress.
169
00:06:42,892 --> 00:06:45,021
Great. She gets to have fun.
170
00:06:49,216 --> 00:06:51,312
Oh, boy.
171
00:06:51,380 --> 00:06:52,976
You didn't happen to bring
172
00:06:53,044 --> 00:06:55,672
a deck of cards or a
television set, did you?
173
00:06:55,740 --> 00:06:56,471
No.
174
00:06:59,134 --> 00:07:01,563
Can we work with this at all...
top hat?
175
00:07:01,631 --> 00:07:03,060
What, like, burn it
176
00:07:03,128 --> 00:07:06,356
with some Jake and
Samantha matches?
177
00:07:06,424 --> 00:07:07,154
Hey, look.
178
00:07:07,221 --> 00:07:09,584
Abrathumb Lincoln.
179
00:07:11,783 --> 00:07:14,910
You know, we put these things
out at our wedding, too.
180
00:07:14,978 --> 00:07:16,374
You know what some guy did?
181
00:07:16,442 --> 00:07:19,702
He went to the bathroom and
took a picture of his ass.
182
00:07:27,625 --> 00:07:28,789
Who?
183
00:07:28,856 --> 00:07:30,021
I have no idea,
184
00:07:30,088 --> 00:07:31,983
but when we got those
pictures back,
185
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:34,015
it was pretty damn funny.
186
00:07:36,046 --> 00:07:37,208
Give me that.
187
00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:47,260
Hey.
188
00:07:47,328 --> 00:07:48,757
Hey, thanks again
189
00:07:48,825 --> 00:07:50,622
for throwing us this brunch.
190
00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:51,952
Oh, no problem. Are
you having fun?
191
00:07:52,020 --> 00:07:53,718
So much fun. And look at Jake.
192
00:07:53,785 --> 00:07:55,480
Isn't he adorable?
193
00:07:57,380 --> 00:07:58,977
Yes. Very adorable.
194
00:07:59,043 --> 00:08:01,172
No, seriously. Look at him.
195
00:08:06,266 --> 00:08:08,028
OK, I'm gonna take a break now.
196
00:08:08,096 --> 00:08:09,426
All right? You save my spot.
197
00:08:09,494 --> 00:08:11,290
OK, I'll save your spot.
198
00:08:16,084 --> 00:08:17,014
Oh...
199
00:08:17,082 --> 00:08:18,012
Oh, I'm sorry.
200
00:08:19,079 --> 00:08:20,443
How are you doing?
201
00:08:20,510 --> 00:08:22,208
Oh, hello. We haven't met.
202
00:08:22,275 --> 00:08:24,138
I'm Jake's Aunt Flora.
203
00:08:24,206 --> 00:08:26,600
Oh, I'm Deacon Palmer. I
know Jake from softball.
204
00:08:26,667 --> 00:08:27,533
Oh, how wonderful.
205
00:08:37,185 --> 00:08:40,246
Well, it's been nice
visiting with you.
206
00:08:40,313 --> 00:08:42,942
You, too.
207
00:08:43,010 --> 00:08:45,105
So Jamaica... That's a
nice place to honeymoon.
208
00:08:45,173 --> 00:08:46,436
You been?
209
00:08:46,504 --> 00:08:48,999
Me? No. I don't leave America.
210
00:08:49,066 --> 00:08:50,630
How long's the flight?
211
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,393
It's about 3 hours.
212
00:08:52,461 --> 00:08:53,825
Oh, that's not too bad.
213
00:08:53,893 --> 00:08:56,254
You watch a movie, maybe
a little mile-high club,
214
00:08:56,322 --> 00:08:58,085
next think you know,
you're landing.
215
00:08:58,153 --> 00:08:59,716
What's a mile-high club?
216
00:08:59,784 --> 00:09:02,511
It's a... It's a card game.
217
00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,839
Actually, we just got the
disposable cameras developed,
218
00:09:06,907 --> 00:09:10,499
so we'll kill a little time going
through all those pictures.
219
00:09:10,567 --> 00:09:12,730
Oh, that should be fun.
220
00:09:12,798 --> 00:09:14,394
You got 'em back already?
221
00:09:14,461 --> 00:09:15,725
Let's look at them now.
222
00:09:15,793 --> 00:09:17,489
What? No. No, no, no.
223
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,653
Yeah, we should. Honey!
224
00:09:18,721 --> 00:09:19,986
Break out the pictures.
225
00:09:20,053 --> 00:09:21,150
No, no, that's all right.
226
00:09:21,217 --> 00:09:22,215
They're upstairs in my purse.
227
00:09:22,281 --> 00:09:23,214
I like cookies. Cookies!
228
00:09:23,281 --> 00:09:24,545
Come on, let's get some cookies.
229
00:09:24,613 --> 00:09:26,042
I'll be right back!
230
00:09:26,110 --> 00:09:28,239
My God, she's getting the pictures.
What am I gonna do?
231
00:09:28,307 --> 00:09:30,601
Relax, man. No one's gonna
know it's your behind.
232
00:09:30,669 --> 00:09:32,533
OK, it's not my be-hind,
233
00:09:32,601 --> 00:09:34,563
it was my be-front.
234
00:09:36,028 --> 00:09:37,857
What?
235
00:09:39,923 --> 00:09:42,518
I went the other way. I
wanted to mix it up.
236
00:09:44,249 --> 00:09:45,346
Oh, man.
237
00:09:45,414 --> 00:09:46,777
My mother's sitting right there.
238
00:09:46,845 --> 00:09:48,208
Samantha: Here we go!
239
00:09:48,275 --> 00:09:51,372
Doug: Hey, let me see.
What have we got here?
240
00:09:51,438 --> 00:09:52,468
I got, uh...
241
00:09:52,536 --> 00:09:54,798
No, no, no, no! Get off!
242
00:09:54,866 --> 00:09:56,562
No. Jeez.
243
00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:06,148
Oh, look at this.
244
00:10:06,216 --> 00:10:08,311
The flower girl.
245
00:10:08,379 --> 00:10:09,642
Doug, isn't she precious?
246
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,173
Oh, yeah, she's priceless.
247
00:10:13,937 --> 00:10:16,199
Oh, my God!
248
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,861
What is with my hair?
249
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,086
Flora: Oh, my!
250
00:10:26,019 --> 00:10:27,947
It's a picture of a man's...
251
00:10:28,015 --> 00:10:29,346
Oh, my.
252
00:10:32,009 --> 00:10:36,602
And it's wearing a
little top hat.
253
00:10:44,324 --> 00:10:45,686
Let me see that.
254
00:10:45,754 --> 00:10:48,051
Oh, Mommy, please, go blind now!
255
00:10:50,914 --> 00:10:53,076
This is sick.
256
00:10:54,275 --> 00:10:55,839
It's like a car wreck.
257
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,769
I can't look away.
258
00:10:58,901 --> 00:11:00,265
Give me those.
259
00:11:01,398 --> 00:11:04,126
Who would do
something like this?
260
00:11:04,194 --> 00:11:05,690
I know who did it.
261
00:11:05,758 --> 00:11:06,855
It was Danny.
262
00:11:06,922 --> 00:11:07,620
What?
263
00:11:07,688 --> 00:11:08,719
Yeah.
264
00:11:08,786 --> 00:11:09,950
The picture on the roll
265
00:11:10,018 --> 00:11:11,115
before this last one...
266
00:11:11,183 --> 00:11:13,446
Danny. Danny. Danny.
267
00:11:13,514 --> 00:11:14,577
Danny!
268
00:11:14,644 --> 00:11:16,340
I didn't... I didn't do that.
269
00:11:16,408 --> 00:11:18,138
Carrie: OK... coffee
270
00:11:18,206 --> 00:11:22,498
and slightly burnt
cinnamon buns are served.
271
00:11:26,460 --> 00:11:27,689
What's going on? What happened?
272
00:11:27,757 --> 00:11:29,488
Danny thought it'd be funny
to take a picture of...
273
00:11:29,555 --> 00:11:31,485
I'm telling you, it's not me!
274
00:11:31,552 --> 00:11:34,713
I told you we shouldn't have invited him.
Drunken idiot.
275
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:36,709
Well, maybe it's not him, Jake.
276
00:11:36,777 --> 00:11:38,174
Oh, yeah, stick up for him...
277
00:11:38,242 --> 00:11:39,671
I am not sticking up for him!
278
00:11:39,739 --> 00:11:41,370
We'll talk about this later.
279
00:11:45,797 --> 00:11:48,124
Guy, that is messed up.
280
00:12:03,173 --> 00:12:06,069
Doug, I've been hearing
people's sins for 20 years,
281
00:12:06,136 --> 00:12:09,230
but this one's
pretty disturbing.
282
00:12:09,297 --> 00:12:12,825
Don't people confess
murders to you?
283
00:12:12,893 --> 00:12:14,954
Still...
284
00:12:16,618 --> 00:12:18,714
Well, it gets worse.
285
00:12:20,779 --> 00:12:24,074
Nice going, you
picture-taking moron.
286
00:12:24,141 --> 00:12:25,338
I just got off the
phone with Samantha.
287
00:12:25,405 --> 00:12:26,669
Her and Jake had a huge fight.
288
00:12:26,737 --> 00:12:28,867
You know that they're not
going on their honeymoon?
289
00:12:28,934 --> 00:12:30,564
They may break up over this.
290
00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:32,028
For the millionth
time, I didn't do it!
291
00:12:32,096 --> 00:12:33,693
I would never do
something like this.
292
00:12:33,759 --> 00:12:35,289
Doug, back me up.
293
00:12:35,357 --> 00:12:37,187
Certainly. It doesn't seem
like something you would do.
294
00:12:37,255 --> 00:12:41,014
Although you were pretty hammered
and angry at the wedding.
295
00:12:41,082 --> 00:12:43,011
Now that I think of it,
296
00:12:43,078 --> 00:12:44,908
I do remember you
grabbing a camera.
297
00:12:44,976 --> 00:12:45,941
Really?
298
00:12:46,009 --> 00:12:48,270
Yeah. You ran off saying
something like...
299
00:12:48,337 --> 00:12:50,666
"I'll show them," or...
300
00:12:50,734 --> 00:12:52,431
"I'll get them."
301
00:12:53,495 --> 00:12:54,692
Something like that.
302
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,223
Oh, my God.
303
00:12:56,325 --> 00:12:58,088
Maybe I did do it.
304
00:12:58,156 --> 00:13:00,085
Oh, yeah? It's all coming
back to you now, is it?
305
00:13:00,153 --> 00:13:01,815
You know, Dan, let me
tell you something.
306
00:13:01,883 --> 00:13:03,080
When everybody
called you a loser,
307
00:13:03,148 --> 00:13:04,745
I was the only one who
stuck up for you, OK?
308
00:13:04,812 --> 00:13:06,242
But do you know
what I'm realizing?
309
00:13:06,310 --> 00:13:07,440
They were right.
310
00:13:07,508 --> 00:13:08,172
Your ex-wife,
311
00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,570
the guys at I.P.S.,
312
00:13:09,637 --> 00:13:10,902
your grandmother...
313
00:13:10,969 --> 00:13:12,699
They were right on the money.
314
00:13:14,731 --> 00:13:15,893
I gotta go.
315
00:13:15,961 --> 00:13:17,159
Oh, where you gonna go?
316
00:13:17,227 --> 00:13:19,155
You gonna go moon a bar mitzvah?
317
00:13:20,222 --> 00:13:21,386
Idiots.
318
00:13:22,552 --> 00:13:24,481
It's amazing.
319
00:13:24,549 --> 00:13:25,878
What's that?
320
00:13:25,946 --> 00:13:29,308
How a simple photograph
can wreak such havoc.
321
00:13:38,629 --> 00:13:41,522
Will you stop staring at that?
322
00:13:41,590 --> 00:13:42,688
I can't help it.
323
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:44,285
Something about this
324
00:13:44,352 --> 00:13:45,649
just doesn't add up.
325
00:13:45,717 --> 00:13:47,846
Mm. What do you mean?
326
00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,111
I got a gut,
327
00:13:49,178 --> 00:13:51,607
and that gut tells me
that this schvantz
328
00:13:51,675 --> 00:13:54,335
doesn't belong to the
man they think it does.
329
00:14:02,158 --> 00:14:04,088
Hey, I forgot my deodorant.
330
00:14:04,156 --> 00:14:05,419
Can I use yours?
331
00:14:05,486 --> 00:14:06,751
Afraid not.
332
00:14:06,818 --> 00:14:08,748
Unfortunately, I have
just enough for me.
333
00:14:15,106 --> 00:14:15,836
What's your problem, man?
334
00:14:15,904 --> 00:14:17,700
You've been acting
pissy all day.
335
00:14:17,767 --> 00:14:19,232
You know damn well
what my problem is.
336
00:14:19,299 --> 00:14:20,395
No, I don't.
337
00:14:20,463 --> 00:14:21,993
You made me take that picture.
338
00:14:22,061 --> 00:14:23,192
What?
339
00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:23,991
Yeah. I had no concept
340
00:14:24,058 --> 00:14:25,322
of novelty wedding photographs
341
00:14:25,390 --> 00:14:26,555
till you showed up.
342
00:14:26,621 --> 00:14:28,483
I was just telling a story
343
00:14:28,551 --> 00:14:29,715
to fill the dead air.
344
00:14:29,783 --> 00:14:31,712
You're the one who said,
"Give me the camera."
345
00:14:31,779 --> 00:14:33,908
And that little top hat?
That was all you.
346
00:14:33,976 --> 00:14:36,737
Excuse me for classin'
it up a little.
347
00:14:36,805 --> 00:14:38,368
What's the big deal, anyway?
348
00:14:38,437 --> 00:14:41,065
Danny's the one who got blamed.
You're off the hook.
349
00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:42,363
Look, I feel guilty, OK,
350
00:14:42,430 --> 00:14:45,025
that Jake and Samantha are not
even speaking to each other,
351
00:14:45,092 --> 00:14:46,423
and everybody hates Danny.
352
00:14:46,491 --> 00:14:47,755
So come clean, man.
353
00:14:47,822 --> 00:14:48,753
I can't.
354
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,184
Then everybody will hate me.
355
00:14:50,252 --> 00:14:51,316
Spence: Hey.
356
00:14:51,384 --> 00:14:53,179
Next time you guys
leave the steam room,
357
00:14:53,246 --> 00:14:54,578
you want to let me know?
358
00:14:54,646 --> 00:14:57,540
I've been talking to myself
for, like, half an hour.
359
00:14:57,607 --> 00:14:58,837
Sorry.
360
00:14:58,904 --> 00:15:00,602
Oh, God. Arthur.
361
00:15:00,669 --> 00:15:02,599
What are you doing here?
362
00:15:02,666 --> 00:15:04,096
I was right.
363
00:15:04,163 --> 00:15:06,526
It wasn't Danny in the picture.
364
00:15:06,594 --> 00:15:07,392
Yes, it was.
365
00:15:07,459 --> 00:15:09,222
He... said he did it.
366
00:15:09,289 --> 00:15:10,420
The kid's been framed.
367
00:15:10,488 --> 00:15:13,482
Framed like a $4.00
paint-by-numbers,
368
00:15:13,549 --> 00:15:16,444
and by someone
very close to him.
369
00:15:16,512 --> 00:15:18,807
Isn't that so...
370
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:19,872
Spence?
371
00:15:24,633 --> 00:15:26,062
Bravo, son.
372
00:15:26,130 --> 00:15:27,561
You're exonerated...
373
00:15:27,628 --> 00:15:29,890
with flying colors.
374
00:15:34,119 --> 00:15:37,712
It's very sweet of you to
drive me to the airport.
375
00:15:37,779 --> 00:15:41,072
Well, you're... You're
too old to hitch.
376
00:15:41,140 --> 00:15:41,906
So you, uh,
377
00:15:41,973 --> 00:15:44,301
you had a good trip, right?
378
00:15:44,369 --> 00:15:45,699
How could I have a good trip?
379
00:15:45,766 --> 00:15:48,795
Your cousin ruined the whole
wedding with that awful picture.
380
00:15:48,862 --> 00:15:52,389
You know, Danny never
had any sense.
381
00:15:52,456 --> 00:15:53,654
Give him a break, all right?
382
00:15:53,722 --> 00:15:55,452
I'm sure he feels
really bad, you know?
383
00:15:55,518 --> 00:15:58,014
And I bet if he had to do it over
again, he wouldn't have done it.
384
00:15:58,082 --> 00:15:59,545
Well, it'd be great if he
could go back in time.
385
00:15:59,613 --> 00:16:01,109
Does he have a time machine?
386
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:02,440
No. No.
387
00:16:02,507 --> 00:16:05,369
He doesn't have the sense
to have a time machine.
388
00:16:05,435 --> 00:16:07,099
I'll tell you what
the problem is.
389
00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,496
Every Sunday when Danny
should have been in church,
390
00:16:09,565 --> 00:16:11,094
you know what he was doing?
391
00:16:11,161 --> 00:16:13,756
He was watching The Three
Stooges on television.
392
00:16:13,823 --> 00:16:15,754
You don't get yourself
on the right path
393
00:16:15,820 --> 00:16:18,216
watching grown men poke
each other in the eye.
394
00:16:18,284 --> 00:16:19,581
Could we just drop this, Ma?
395
00:16:19,649 --> 00:16:21,745
I mean, we're taking a beautiful
trip to the airport...
396
00:16:21,811 --> 00:16:24,074
Look, Marriott.
397
00:16:24,142 --> 00:16:26,571
I can't stop thinking
about that picture.
398
00:16:26,639 --> 00:16:27,934
Ugh.
399
00:16:28,002 --> 00:16:31,129
That image is burned
into my brain.
400
00:16:31,197 --> 00:16:32,594
No.
401
00:16:32,662 --> 00:16:34,291
No, no, no. It's not burned.
402
00:16:34,359 --> 00:16:36,056
I see it when I close my eyes.
403
00:16:36,123 --> 00:16:38,418
Don't close 'em. You
just keep them open.
404
00:16:38,486 --> 00:16:41,015
I thank God that you're
a good boy, Douglas.
405
00:16:41,116 --> 00:16:43,344
I thank God.
406
00:16:46,375 --> 00:16:49,135
Anyway, so I just dropped
her off at the airport,
407
00:16:49,203 --> 00:16:50,800
and here I am.
408
00:16:50,868 --> 00:16:52,297
Uh-huh.
409
00:16:52,365 --> 00:16:53,962
So what are we looking at here?
410
00:16:54,029 --> 00:16:56,691
10 Hail Marys? A dozen Our Fathers?
What you got?
411
00:16:56,758 --> 00:16:59,287
Well, Doug, what I think
you should be doing
412
00:16:59,354 --> 00:17:01,283
is confessing to the
people you've hurt.
413
00:17:01,350 --> 00:17:04,279
That's the only way you'll be
able to make peace with God.
414
00:17:04,346 --> 00:17:06,276
Right.
415
00:17:06,343 --> 00:17:08,106
It's just... D-D-Did
you hear the part
416
00:17:08,174 --> 00:17:12,167
about the picture being burnt
into my mother's brain?
417
00:17:12,234 --> 00:17:14,430
Well, nobody said
this would be easy.
418
00:17:14,497 --> 00:17:17,060
I just think that's
what you need to do.
419
00:17:17,128 --> 00:17:19,190
OK. Um, can I get
a second opinion?
420
00:17:19,258 --> 00:17:21,919
Could you, like, tag out and
get Father Biskup in here?
421
00:17:21,987 --> 00:17:24,415
Doug, you can hide
422
00:17:24,482 --> 00:17:26,078
from the truth,
423
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:28,110
but you can't hide from God.
424
00:17:29,142 --> 00:17:31,071
How about 60 Hail Marys? 60.
425
00:17:31,139 --> 00:17:32,569
And a new pair of Nikes for you.
426
00:17:32,637 --> 00:17:34,199
What are you, like an 11?
427
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,430
Doug...
428
00:17:41,357 --> 00:17:42,587
What are you doing?
429
00:17:42,654 --> 00:17:44,517
Just to the right of the top hat
430
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:47,579
I've discovered a small
piece of the trouser label.
431
00:17:47,647 --> 00:17:50,841
I think it may break
this case wide open!
432
00:17:50,909 --> 00:17:52,505
Give me that.
433
00:17:52,573 --> 00:17:55,235
Who are you trying to protect?
434
00:17:55,302 --> 00:17:57,564
Hey, I'm making a pile
for the dry cleaners.
435
00:17:57,632 --> 00:17:58,928
You got anything?
436
00:17:58,996 --> 00:18:00,294
Uh, no.
437
00:18:00,361 --> 00:18:02,590
But I do want to tell you...
438
00:18:02,657 --> 00:18:05,352
I can't believe all this wedding
crap that got in your pockets.
439
00:18:05,420 --> 00:18:06,949
I mean, look at this.
440
00:18:07,018 --> 00:18:09,945
Matches, mints. You went a little
crazy with the yarmulkes here.
441
00:18:10,014 --> 00:18:12,441
Oh, look. One of the
little top hats.
442
00:18:12,509 --> 00:18:14,139
Good evening, governor.
443
00:18:15,837 --> 00:18:17,267
Those hats are funny, huh?
444
00:18:17,335 --> 00:18:18,598
Yeah.
445
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,861
Kind of make you want to do
something wacky, you know?
446
00:18:20,929 --> 00:18:22,559
They do.
447
00:18:23,358 --> 00:18:24,757
That's, uh, probably
448
00:18:24,825 --> 00:18:28,251
where my head was at when I...
449
00:18:28,318 --> 00:18:29,749
uh...
450
00:18:30,815 --> 00:18:32,744
When I took the picture.
451
00:18:32,812 --> 00:18:34,041
What?
452
00:18:34,109 --> 00:18:35,640
The picture. The bad picture.
453
00:18:35,707 --> 00:18:38,467
The picture everybody's talking about.
I took it.
454
00:18:38,535 --> 00:18:40,065
Wait a minute. That was you?
455
00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:43,327
What would make you do
something like that?
456
00:18:43,394 --> 00:18:44,725
I was bored to tears, Carrie!
457
00:18:44,793 --> 00:18:47,588
I begged you to let me
leave that wedding!
458
00:18:47,656 --> 00:18:50,949
And you let Danny take
all the blame for it?
459
00:18:51,017 --> 00:18:52,647
The crowd seemed to
be going that way
460
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,311
and I jumped on board.
461
00:18:54,378 --> 00:18:56,141
Doug, you're just...
462
00:18:56,208 --> 00:18:57,172
You're just evil.
463
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:59,570
I mean, do you realize
what you did to Danny?
464
00:18:59,637 --> 00:19:02,066
Do you realize you may have
broken up a marriage here?
465
00:19:02,133 --> 00:19:03,630
I'm aware of that, OK?
I feel bad.
466
00:19:03,697 --> 00:19:05,194
It's just a stupid thing
467
00:19:05,262 --> 00:19:06,060
that spun out of control.
468
00:19:06,127 --> 00:19:07,789
Well, you gotta tell
everybody the truth.
469
00:19:07,857 --> 00:19:09,354
I can't! You have to.
470
00:19:09,422 --> 00:19:10,619
Carrie, my mother's
seen the picture, OK?
471
00:19:10,686 --> 00:19:13,448
It's burnt into her brain!
472
00:19:13,516 --> 00:19:14,713
Is that the picture?
473
00:19:14,780 --> 00:19:15,712
Yeah. You've never seen it?
474
00:19:15,779 --> 00:19:16,777
No.
475
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:20,571
You know what?
476
00:19:20,638 --> 00:19:21,602
Um...
477
00:19:21,669 --> 00:19:22,600
maybe you're right.
478
00:19:22,667 --> 00:19:24,132
Maybe we should just
let this thing go.
479
00:19:24,199 --> 00:19:25,795
Really? Yeah.
480
00:19:25,863 --> 00:19:27,061
Yeah, because, you know,
481
00:19:27,129 --> 00:19:28,891
people already think
Danny's a screwup.
482
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,420
One more thing ain't gonna
make or break that, right?
483
00:19:31,487 --> 00:19:32,752
And if Jake and Samantha
484
00:19:32,820 --> 00:19:34,548
could break up over
something this stupid,
485
00:19:34,616 --> 00:19:37,145
then they weren't gonna make it anyway.
You know?
486
00:19:37,213 --> 00:19:39,076
What... What's going on here?
487
00:19:39,143 --> 00:19:40,407
Nothing.
488
00:19:40,475 --> 00:19:41,605
Just a second ago
489
00:19:41,673 --> 00:19:44,201
you said I had to tell the
truth and that I'm evil.
490
00:19:44,269 --> 00:19:45,433
No, I mean "evil,"
491
00:19:45,499 --> 00:19:47,362
like devilish, you
know, naughty.
492
00:19:47,430 --> 00:19:49,094
Adorable. You know?
493
00:19:49,161 --> 00:19:50,524
You're embarrassed of it.
494
00:19:50,592 --> 00:19:53,554
You don't want people
to know that's me!
495
00:19:53,621 --> 00:19:56,482
Well... Well, hon, it's
not your best picture.
496
00:19:56,550 --> 00:19:57,348
You know?
497
00:19:57,416 --> 00:19:58,645
I don't...
498
00:19:58,713 --> 00:20:00,776
I don't know if it was the angle
499
00:20:00,844 --> 00:20:02,339
or the lighting. It just...
500
00:20:02,407 --> 00:20:04,336
This... This picture
does not represent
501
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:06,600
what I know to be the truth.
502
00:20:06,668 --> 00:20:09,296
That is a very nice picture.
503
00:20:09,364 --> 00:20:10,960
Nice? It's a mug shot.
504
00:20:11,028 --> 00:20:13,655
Yeah. People always wear
top hats in mug shots.
505
00:20:13,723 --> 00:20:15,819
Doug, take my word for it, OK?
506
00:20:15,887 --> 00:20:17,983
This picture doesn't
do you justice.
507
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:20,812
Now, a lot of my friends from
work saw it at the brunch,
508
00:20:20,879 --> 00:20:23,307
and I don't think we need to
advertise that this is you.
509
00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:24,473
Oh.
510
00:20:24,540 --> 00:20:26,304
I'm telling. I'm
telling the world!
511
00:20:26,372 --> 00:20:28,068
I wouldn't do that
if I were you.
512
00:20:28,135 --> 00:20:29,265
I'm doin' it.
513
00:20:29,333 --> 00:20:30,497
Doug, OK, how about this?
514
00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:31,994
We take a new picture, OK?
515
00:20:32,062 --> 00:20:34,025
I mean, people only
saw it for a second.
516
00:20:34,093 --> 00:20:35,455
They would never
know the difference.
517
00:20:35,523 --> 00:20:37,487
We could get great lighting,
you know, good camera...
518
00:20:37,553 --> 00:20:39,250
Give me that!
519
00:20:39,318 --> 00:20:41,813
Can we just airbrush
it a little?
520
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,605
So, anyway, I want
to apologize again
521
00:20:47,672 --> 00:20:50,733
to Jake and Samantha.
522
00:20:50,801 --> 00:20:52,697
Hopefully now that you know
the truth about this picture,
523
00:20:52,764 --> 00:20:54,327
you'll get back on the road
524
00:20:54,395 --> 00:20:56,923
to a long, happy life together.
525
00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:59,187
Sorry, also, to my cousin Danny,
526
00:20:59,255 --> 00:21:02,182
who I "framed."
527
00:21:03,748 --> 00:21:06,875
Enjoy that new
bowling ball, buddy.
528
00:21:06,943 --> 00:21:08,373
I also want to apologize
529
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,670
to anybody else I've offended...
530
00:21:10,738 --> 00:21:13,031
and to the community at large.
531
00:21:13,099 --> 00:21:14,829
Now, back to the picture.
532
00:21:14,897 --> 00:21:17,791
Who likes what they see?
Show of hands.
533
00:21:19,256 --> 00:21:22,384
Doug: Come on. Don't be shy.
534
00:21:31,439 --> 00:21:32,734
Excuse me.
535
00:21:32,802 --> 00:21:34,566
Don't you work with my
daughter Carrie Heffernan
536
00:21:34,633 --> 00:21:35,730
at the law firm?
537
00:21:35,797 --> 00:21:37,494
Carrie? Yes, I do.
538
00:21:37,562 --> 00:21:39,158
So you must have been at
the wedding last weekend.
539
00:21:39,226 --> 00:21:40,722
I sure was.
540
00:21:44,617 --> 00:21:46,847
You're free to go, sir.
36692
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