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- I wrestled with it, Mr. Grayson.
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Let it roll around in my mind.
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Then it hit me.
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Bottom line, 20 years in public relations,
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this little notion is the capper.
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Puzzled, sure you are.
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A little, a little background first.
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(Banjo playing “the
magnificent seven” theme)
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You're hiram c. Grayson,
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affectionately known as Mr. Tobacco.
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You sold 13 trillion cigarettes
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in your lifetime, Mr.
Grayson, 13 trillion.
13
00:01:03,397 --> 00:01:07,902
Now, let's turn to Alfred
nobel, remember him?
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He invented dynamite,
15
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maybe a hundred devices
for high explosives.
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One of the great contributors
to modern warfare.
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Made a billion dollars selling munitions.
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You and alf nobel have a
lot in common, Mr. Grayson,
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because you spent a
lifetime selling cigarettes,
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and he spent a lifetime selling munitions.
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Beginning to see the analogy?
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Forget it, the question's obscure.
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Let me hang a lantern on it.
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You didn't remember that nobel
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made his fortune selling munitions.
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I had to remind you, but why is that?
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Because Alfred nobel spent
a fraction of that fortune
28
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creating the nobel peace prize.
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Get the point?
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The peace prize never did interfere
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with Mr. Nobel's business.
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The world went right on buying his product
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for all its wars.
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Ready for the big question?
35
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It's jumping right out
of the pan, bottom line.
36
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- We are going to offer 25 million dollars
37
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to some town in america that
will quit smoking for 30 days?
38
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- Ain't we tobacco people
got trouble enough?
39
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- Dumbest, damn, dumb
ass thing I ever heard.
40
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Man oughta be put away coming around here
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with a scheme like that.
42
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- [Man] If you ain't a bird turd.
43
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- We did all we're
gonna do for the public.
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We offered to get outta
radio and TV now, didn't we?
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- That's right, and we diversified.
46
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- Now, what the god damn hell
does that got to do with it?
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- Overlooking, overlooking,
overlooking, gentlemen.
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0-v-e-r, over, overlooking.
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You're overlooking one thing gentlemen.
50
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Have you ever seen a whole
office building give up smoking?
51
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- No, not exactly.
52
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- A whole neighborhood?
53
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(Men chattering)
54
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So, for 25 million dollars,
a 100 million dollars,
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where are you going to find a whole town
56
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that will give up smoking?
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(Men laughing)
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I mean, be, be reasonable, gentlemen.
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(Men laughing)
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J” he gives us all his love j“
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j” he gives us all his love j“
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j” he's smiling down on us from up above j”
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j” he's giving us all his love j”
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j” he knows how hard we're trying j”
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j” he hears the babies crying j'
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j” he sees the old folks dying j“
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j” he gives us all his love j“
68
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j” he gives us all his love j“
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j” he gives us all his love j“
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j” he smiling down on us from up above j”
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j” he's giving us all his love j”
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j” now if you need someone to talk to j'
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j” you can always to talk to him j”
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j” and if you need someone to lean on j“
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j” you can lean him j”
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j” he gives us all his love j“
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j” he gives us all his love j“
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00:06:05,241 --> 00:06:10,162
j” he's smiling down on us from up above j”
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j” and he's giving us all his love j”
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(Lively piano music)
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J” I love the lord j“
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j” I hear the lord j”
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j” I love the lord j“
84
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j” I love the lord j“
85
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:46,866
j” I love the lord j“
86
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:51,579
j” I love the lord j“
87
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j” I love the lord j“
88
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j” I love the lord j“
89
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:03,757
j” I love the lord j“
90
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:08,846
j” I hear the lord j”
91
00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:11,889
j” I want the world to know
that I love the lord j”
92
00:07:12,057 --> 00:07:13,642
j” I love the lord j“
93
00:07:13,809 --> 00:07:15,811
j” I love the lord j“
94
00:07:16,020 --> 00:07:18,105
j” I love the lord j“
95
00:07:18,314 --> 00:07:20,190
j” I love the lord j“
96
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j” I love the lord j“
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- and so my brethren, it is
time for rebirth in eagle rock.
98
00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:30,743
Time for renewal, time for recommitment,
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because I say that god's will
100
00:07:36,165 --> 00:07:38,626
is being done here as never before.
101
00:07:39,585 --> 00:07:42,713
I know it, I believe!
102
00:07:44,924 --> 00:07:48,677
I know it, because I know
in whom I have believed.
103
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:55,726
He has blessed us, my
friends, truly blessed us.
104
00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:57,478
(Fly buzzing)
105
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,104
No, god has not abandoned us,
106
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:04,151
but rather he has a plan, a
purpose for you, his people.
107
00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:09,490
Our present problem is nothing
108
00:08:09,698 --> 00:08:12,326
but a preparation for things to come,
109
00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:16,622
because we have been chosen,
110
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:24,546
and so let us leave
this place this morning
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(odie snoring)
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Where we've heard god speaking to us.
113
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Let us leave this place
with a new affirmation
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of his promise of purpose.
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His commitment of concern to us all.
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00:08:39,561 --> 00:08:42,272
Let us prepare to do his will,
117
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because with his help
we will battle against
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the powers and the
principalities of darkness
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that have sapped our spiritual resources.
120
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:54,243
We will fight, we will work, we will pray,
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we will open up our hearts,
we will open up our eyes,
122
00:08:58,122 --> 00:08:59,373
and we will catch a glimpse
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of that romantic country Peru,
124
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:03,502
where the lovely city of Lima
125
00:09:03,711 --> 00:09:06,422
glistens like a thousand jewels,
126
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,883
set beside miles of platinum beach,
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00:09:10,092 --> 00:09:13,137
which rests like a strand of yellow hair
128
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:14,972
along the lovely blue ocean.
129
00:09:17,766 --> 00:09:21,520
Would you turn your hymnals to page 33?
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I asked you to type up my sermon for me,
131
00:09:23,522 --> 00:09:24,940
and you make me out a fool,
132
00:09:25,149 --> 00:09:27,317
and don't tell me again that
it was a mistake, Natalie.
133
00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,862
My handwriting is pure crystal.
134
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:30,654
- But I...
135
00:09:30,863 --> 00:09:32,223
- I know, I know, holiday magazine
136
00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:35,284
was lying open next to my
notes when you were typing.
137
00:09:35,492 --> 00:09:37,178
Well, if that's the way
it happened, Natalie,
138
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,328
there's a demon in you.
139
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,831
An unconscious urge to destroy me.
140
00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:43,417
Smile and don't slouch.
141
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,305
- I certainly hope you're right, reverend.
142
00:09:45,461 --> 00:09:47,087
- Thank you, thank you, I'm sure I am.
143
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:48,565
- I enjoyed the sermon, reverend.
144
00:09:48,589 --> 00:09:50,132
- Thank you, hello.
145
00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:51,550
- Hello.
146
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:53,427
- [Clayton] Good morning.
147
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Good morning.
148
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- A real inspiration.
149
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,140
- Colonel, nice to have you.
150
00:09:58,348 --> 00:09:58,932
See you in a moment.
151
00:09:59,141 --> 00:09:59,808
- Yes.
152
00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:00,601
- Good sermon, reverend.
153
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:01,809
- Thank you.
154
00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,621
- [Man] Oh um we'll see,
we'll see, reverend.
155
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:05,439
- [Clayton] Right.
156
00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:06,666
- Homer Watson, our chief of police,
157
00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:07,970
is gonna drop you at the airport
158
00:10:08,067 --> 00:10:08,817
- [colonel] Fine, fine.
159
00:10:08,984 --> 00:10:10,628
- [Quincey] Thank you for
coming out from Washington.
160
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:11,737
- [Colonel] No problem.
161
00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:15,616
- [Quincey] I'll, I'll
get in first, here we are.
162
00:10:28,712 --> 00:10:30,339
- Oh, that husband of yours.
163
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,758
God love him, he's a Saint.
164
00:10:35,761 --> 00:10:36,887
- Washington is of course,
165
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terribly interested in your problem.
166
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The Pentagon is especially interested.
167
00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:43,227
Our defense industry,
168
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by our defense industry I
don't mean the Pentagon's.
169
00:10:47,064 --> 00:10:49,608
I mean the nation's defense industries.
170
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:50,817
The Pentagon, after all,
171
00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:53,862
doesn't have any industrial
plants of its own.
172
00:10:54,071 --> 00:10:55,572
We simply work with them.
173
00:10:55,781 --> 00:10:58,117
Of course, we do work
close enough with them
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to exert some degree of influence,
175
00:11:00,619 --> 00:11:03,122
and we might just be able to uh,
176
00:11:03,330 --> 00:11:05,958
take one of these plants
we influence and um,
177
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,459
move it to eagle rock,
178
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:08,710
but here's the thing,
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00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,963
the top executives in these plants,
180
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,214
they're tough people,
181
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:15,425
uh, retired generals,
and colonels and such.
182
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,470
When they move their
families into a new town
183
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they expect first a first rate
high school, a fine library,
184
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tip top hospitals facilities,
a good police force,
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00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:28,689
attractive shopping centers, et cetera.
186
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:33,861
Now, if you'll take eagle
rock and give it a new look,
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00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,196
kind of update the town a little,
188
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you'll see how fast the boys
in Washington snap into action.
189
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:42,035
I don't need to remind you
190
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,454
that it was the previous administration
191
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:46,748
that shut down your air base.
192
00:11:46,957 --> 00:11:48,584
The present administration
193
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:50,586
would've thought twice, believe me.
194
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,131
By the way, reverend, I
enjoyed that sermon very much.
195
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:55,007
- [Reverend] Well, thank you.
196
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:56,975
- Particularly that
generous tribute you paid
197
00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:59,636
our Latin American neighbor, Peru.
198
00:11:59,845 --> 00:12:04,725
(Guests chattering)
199
00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:09,581
- Excuse me, cissy.
200
00:13:13,585 --> 00:13:15,504
(Cissy screams)
201
00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:22,135
- Quiet, here we go, folks,
they're cuttin' the cake.
202
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,377
- Last week it was the proudys.
203
00:13:25,514 --> 00:13:26,634
This week it's Bob and edna.
204
00:13:26,682 --> 00:13:29,393
That's 11 families since
the first of the year.
205
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:31,853
Another year like this
and we're a ghost town.
206
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,314
- Dr. Proctor, we mustn't be pessimistic.
207
00:13:34,523 --> 00:13:36,191
Remember what colonel Galloway said?
208
00:13:37,109 --> 00:13:37,818
- You know how much it'd take
209
00:13:38,026 --> 00:13:39,706
to fix this town up the way Galloway said?
210
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:40,736
Why, millions.
211
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:44,366
- That may be, but with
god's help, we'll make it.
212
00:13:44,574 --> 00:13:47,160
- Never mind his help,
let him get up his money.
213
00:13:47,369 --> 00:13:49,538
- Colonel Galloway, Washington,
214
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,540
the whole country's got its hand out.
215
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:52,791
Something for nothing.
216
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,251
Nobody wants to work anymore.
217
00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,044
Gimme this, gimme that.
218
00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:57,546
Gimme you federal government.
219
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,172
Gimme you state government.
220
00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:00,716
Gimme you city government.
221
00:14:00,882 --> 00:14:01,882
Gimme, gimme, gimme.
222
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,093
You know what I call it?
223
00:14:03,302 --> 00:14:04,302
The gimme's.
224
00:14:05,804 --> 00:14:07,404
- [Cissy] That colonel was right, mayor.
225
00:14:07,514 --> 00:14:08,807
From the bank's standpoint,
226
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,934
if we don't attract some industry,
227
00:14:11,143 --> 00:14:13,395
eagle rock's gonna s-o-I.
228
00:14:13,603 --> 00:14:15,731
- [Quincey] Oh, I agree,
but how do we do it?
229
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,736
Perhaps you have a thought, Mrs. Previn.
230
00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,002
- [Clayton] Bishop manley.
231
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,295
- Hello, Clayton.
232
00:14:38,503 --> 00:14:40,422
- Such a pleasant surprise to see you.
233
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,466
I had no idea you were
in the neighborhood.
234
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,260
- I was passing through on
my way back from clermont.
235
00:14:45,469 --> 00:14:46,863
Reverend Smith, you know bud Smith.
236
00:14:46,887 --> 00:14:47,471
- Oh, yes.
237
00:14:47,679 --> 00:14:50,640
- Was a hundred thousand dollars
short in his building fund,
238
00:14:50,849 --> 00:14:55,228
and they needed the help of
an old established arm bender.
239
00:14:55,437 --> 00:14:57,439
- (Chuckles) We'll leave it to you, sir.
240
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,566
You know, speaking of help,
241
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:01,615
did you happened to
receive the note I sent you
242
00:15:01,693 --> 00:15:04,571
about the new parish up
in dearborn, Michigan?
243
00:15:04,780 --> 00:15:05,906
- Yes, I did.
244
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:11,787
My, my, I keep forgetting
the honors you've won.
245
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:12,996
In sports too.
246
00:15:14,122 --> 00:15:16,416
How many athletic scholarships
were you offered, Clayton?
247
00:15:16,625 --> 00:15:20,170
- Ah, three, track, baseball, basketball,
248
00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:22,297
but about dearborn.
249
00:15:22,506 --> 00:15:24,216
- Quite a record of accomplishment.
250
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:25,926
- Well, thank you, bishop.
251
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,134
- Thank him.
252
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,137
- Yes.
253
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:32,140
- You've done remarkable
well for the church too.
254
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:36,853
That first post in cedarville,
then windsor locks.
255
00:15:37,062 --> 00:15:38,939
That's why you were
selected for eagle rock,
256
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:41,775
to make it a strong
and vital parish again.
257
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:46,863
- But eh, bishop, this
is a depressed area,
258
00:15:47,239 --> 00:15:50,450
and you did mention
that parish in dearborn.
259
00:15:50,659 --> 00:15:55,539
- Oh yes, dearborn, general
motors country, you know?
260
00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:57,457
- Yes, I know.
261
00:15:57,624 --> 00:16:00,085
- Well then, perhaps a
little prayer is in order
262
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:01,795
for your success in eagle rock.
263
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:05,715
I know we couldn't drag you to dearborn
264
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:07,592
before your job is finished here.
265
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,812
J” should old acquaintance be forgot j”
266
00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:23,400
j” and never brought to mind j“
267
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:27,654
j” should old acquaintance be forgot j”
268
00:16:27,863 --> 00:16:32,159
j” and days auld iang syne j”
269
00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:33,410
j” and days j”
270
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:35,328
- [Amos] Bye edna, have a nice time.
271
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,539
- [Gentleman] Have a real good time.
272
00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:14,159
(Dr. Proctor coughing and hacking)
273
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:25,837
- Hi, doc!
274
00:17:26,046 --> 00:17:30,175
(Dr. Proctor coughing and hacking)
275
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:38,808
(Woman coughing and hacking)
276
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:46,399
(Man coughing and hacking)
277
00:17:58,954 --> 00:18:03,333
(Man coughing and hacking)
278
00:18:03,542 --> 00:18:07,087
(Woman coughing and hacking)
279
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:14,052
(Man coughing and hacking)
280
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,856
(Letitia clears throat)
281
00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:47,002
- Reverend, reverend, come in,
come in (coughing) Come in.
282
00:18:51,298 --> 00:18:54,467
All right, come in, come in, reverend.
283
00:18:54,676 --> 00:18:56,386
The darndest thing I ever heard.
284
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:59,639
They were talking about it on
television a few seconds ago.
285
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:01,474
Sit down, Hugh upson.
286
00:19:04,102 --> 00:19:05,102
Here it is.
287
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:08,356
(Mrs. Wappler sneezing)
288
00:19:13,403 --> 00:19:14,839
- [TV announcer] Even more during Simmons
289
00:19:14,863 --> 00:19:16,114
99th anniversary sale.
290
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:19,200
The anniversary mattress priced at 49.95
291
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:23,747
- 25 million dollars,
Valiant tobacco company.
292
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:27,834
- The early-early show?
293
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:30,378
(Mrs. Wappler sneezing)
294
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,440
- [TV announcer] Danish
modern or French provincial.
295
00:19:32,464 --> 00:19:34,883
All six items for one $148.00.
296
00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:35,759
(Mrs. Wappler sneezing)
297
00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:37,636
Drive now to Brin's in Mercer city
298
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,196
for the best bedding bargains of the year.
299
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,240
Open Monday, Wednesday, and
Friday nights till nine.
300
00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,824
Easy terms, famous name brands, Brin's.
301
00:19:43,016 --> 00:19:44,976
- And here it goes, shh, shh.
302
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:49,290
This is what I was telling you about.
303
00:19:49,314 --> 00:19:51,083
- Hugh upson here with the
early-early show this morning,
304
00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,818
we're talking with Mr. Merwin wren.
305
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,029
Right now we'll take a station break.
306
00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:57,364
- [Quincey] Oh, for.
307
00:19:57,572 --> 00:19:59,949
- [TV announcer] Wnst
TV, the heart of Iowa.
308
00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,993
- Here it goes.
309
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:04,079
- Mr. Wren, our guest this morning.
310
00:20:04,287 --> 00:20:06,098
I have several questions
that have occurred to me
311
00:20:06,122 --> 00:20:06,831
that I'd like to ask you,
312
00:20:07,040 --> 00:20:09,376
but will you stand by
while we hear this message.
313
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:10,542
- [Quincey] No.
314
00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:12,920
(Mrs. Wappler sneezing)
315
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,732
- [TV announcer] Here's a
new idea in bug killers.
316
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:18,843
This adjustable bug gun,
made only by real kill,
317
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:22,430
gets into places where
bugs hide and breed.
318
00:20:22,639 --> 00:20:23,223
(Mrs. Wappler sneezing)
319
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:24,659
Make it easy to spray basements, closets,
320
00:20:24,683 --> 00:20:26,518
and other hard to reach places
321
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,437
to kill roaches, ants,
water bugs, silverfish,
322
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:33,608
crickets, spiders, wasps,
scorpions, and other bugs.
323
00:20:33,817 --> 00:20:37,153
See how much more liquid you
get with the new real kill gun
324
00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:38,738
than from the old container?
325
00:20:38,947 --> 00:20:40,657
Over two times more.
326
00:20:40,865 --> 00:20:43,576
Enough to really bug proof your home.
327
00:20:43,785 --> 00:20:46,705
Save the gun and reuse it
on economical switchbacks.
328
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:47,913
Both at your grocer now.
329
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,374
(Mrs. Wappler sneezes)
330
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,546
It's a killer.
331
00:20:56,256 --> 00:20:59,884
- Here it is, here it is, this is it.
332
00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,554
- This is Thursday, the early-early show.
333
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:06,224
The time, 17 minutes after
the hour, I'm Hugh upson,
334
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:09,227
and we were talking to
Mr. Mervin, merwin wren
335
00:21:09,436 --> 00:21:12,439
of the Valiant tobacco company,
336
00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:15,650
who this morning announced the gift
337
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:19,988
of a tax free 25 million
dollars to the city in america,
338
00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:22,407
which can give up smoking for 30 days.
339
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:23,855
- Huh, 25 million dollars, huh?
340
00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:32,041
- Mr. Wren, isn't this an
amazing and unprecedented gesture
341
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:33,918
for a tobacco company to make?
342
00:21:34,919 --> 00:21:36,671
- You want it from the old le coeur?
343
00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:40,842
Extraordinary, extraordinary gesture.
344
00:21:41,050 --> 00:21:44,512
In my opinion, what Mr.
Hiram Grayson has done today
345
00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:50,268
ranks with the greatest
humanitarian deeds of all time.
346
00:21:50,477 --> 00:21:51,102
- I don't know why,
347
00:21:51,311 --> 00:21:55,148
but I'm reminded of Alfred
nobel and the nobel peace prize.
348
00:21:57,776 --> 00:21:59,486
- An interesting analogy.
349
00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,071
- Well, you seem quite moved Mr. Wren.
350
00:22:03,072 --> 00:22:06,576
- Bottom line, Mr. Upman, I'm overcome.
351
00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:12,332
This may be the greatest
thing since creation.
352
00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:18,338
- Upson, thank you, Mr. Wren.
353
00:22:19,923 --> 00:22:22,008
- This could be the answer
to all our problems.
354
00:22:22,217 --> 00:22:24,219
What do you think, reverend?
355
00:22:24,427 --> 00:22:27,972
- Mayor, I don't like I told
you 50's, but you remember,
356
00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:30,975
I did say he was preparing
us for a purpose.
357
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,019
(Mrs. Wappler sneezes)
358
00:22:33,228 --> 00:22:34,687
- Give up smoking?
359
00:22:34,896 --> 00:22:36,815
- Give up smoking?
360
00:22:37,023 --> 00:22:37,690
- I can't.
361
00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:40,485
- You pledge only to give
up smoking for 30 days.
362
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,570
Now, there it is, the pledge.
363
00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:43,905
30 days, that's all,
364
00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:45,740
and look what we get.
365
00:22:45,949 --> 00:22:47,534
25 million dollars for eagle rock.
366
00:22:47,742 --> 00:22:48,844
Let's see what we can accomplish.
367
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,871
- No, I won't give up
smoking, no, no, no, no.
368
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:54,958
- I will sign first, I will sign first.
369
00:22:55,166 --> 00:22:56,166
Just sign here.
370
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:58,294
- That's it, I'm gonna stop smoking.
371
00:22:58,503 --> 00:22:59,712
- No, I can't do it.
372
00:22:59,921 --> 00:23:01,440
- [Quincey] Look, you've
got to sign your name.
373
00:23:01,464 --> 00:23:03,304
You've got to set an
example for the community.
374
00:23:03,424 --> 00:23:05,093
- I can't and I won't.
375
00:23:06,427 --> 00:23:08,346
- I want you to sign this book.
376
00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:09,222
- No!
377
00:23:09,430 --> 00:23:11,182
- To say that wall street is surprised
378
00:23:11,391 --> 00:23:13,434
by the specter of the tobacco company,
379
00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:15,603
offering to spend 25 million dollars
380
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:18,815
in the fight against smoking
is an understatement indeed,
381
00:23:19,023 --> 00:23:20,608
but the big question tonight
382
00:23:20,817 --> 00:23:23,820
is how many towns across
america will take the pledge,
383
00:23:24,028 --> 00:23:27,615
and then how many will be able to keep it?
384
00:23:27,824 --> 00:23:30,827
Expressions ranging from
approval to outright cheering
385
00:23:31,035 --> 00:23:33,496
for Mr. Hiram c. Grayson's
magnanimous gesture
386
00:23:33,705 --> 00:23:35,265
have been coming in from public leaders
387
00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:37,584
from New York to California.
388
00:23:37,792 --> 00:23:41,337
- We want people all over this land
389
00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:44,507
to sense the greatness of
this moment to participate in.
390
00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:47,552
- I think it's a rather very
significant development.
391
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,013
- The funny thing is it's
good from every angle.
392
00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:51,472
It's good business.
393
00:23:51,681 --> 00:23:53,850
- The is really the American way.
394
00:23:54,058 --> 00:23:55,602
- I'm very proud of it.
395
00:23:55,810 --> 00:23:58,271
- It doesn't excite me to the extent
396
00:23:58,479 --> 00:24:01,232
that I would go out and
beat the drum for it.
397
00:24:01,441 --> 00:24:04,819
- Prevailing opinion holds
that Mr. Hiram Grayson, at 92,
398
00:24:05,987 --> 00:24:09,824
is joining such notable
benefactors of mankind
399
00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:12,869
as Andrew carnegie, Joseph pulitzer,
400
00:24:13,077 --> 00:24:15,496
Henry Ford, and Alfred nobel.
401
00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:19,500
I wondered whether the heads
of the other tobacco companies
402
00:24:19,709 --> 00:24:21,336
would agree with that assessment,
403
00:24:22,295 --> 00:24:25,965
so I flew down to
Charlotte, north Carolina,
404
00:24:26,174 --> 00:24:29,552
and talked to the president
of the united tobacco company.
405
00:24:34,474 --> 00:24:36,059
Mr. Kandiss, Mr. Kandiss,
406
00:24:36,267 --> 00:24:37,810
how did you react to the announcement
407
00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:39,687
of the Valiant tobacco company.
408
00:24:39,854 --> 00:24:41,397
- Badly, very badly.
409
00:24:41,606 --> 00:24:43,900
Now, you leave me the (beep) Alone.
410
00:24:44,108 --> 00:24:47,070
- David chetley,
Charlotte, north Carolina.
411
00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:50,657
(Upbeat orchestral music)
412
00:25:38,955 --> 00:25:40,999
- Among the towns struggling to qualify
413
00:25:41,207 --> 00:25:42,709
for the cold Turkey project,
414
00:25:42,917 --> 00:25:46,295
only eagle rock, Iowa, population 4,006,
415
00:25:46,504 --> 00:25:51,300
has topped the 70% Mark
among smokers who signed up.
416
00:25:51,509 --> 00:25:54,053
Sources say the credit for
this is due to one man,
417
00:25:54,262 --> 00:25:55,972
the reverend Clayton Brooks
418
00:25:56,180 --> 00:25:58,725
of the eagle rock community church.
419
00:25:58,933 --> 00:26:00,810
If indeed eagle rock does make it,
420
00:26:01,019 --> 00:26:03,688
reverend Brooks will be quite a hero.
421
00:26:17,994 --> 00:26:21,998
- (Clears throat) All right, Natalie,
422
00:26:23,374 --> 00:26:24,709
something's bothering you.
423
00:26:26,002 --> 00:26:27,021
I've always made it a point
424
00:26:27,045 --> 00:26:29,756
to be frank and open with you, my dear.
425
00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:32,383
(Coughing) Don't slouch, dear.
426
00:26:33,384 --> 00:26:34,984
So, when you have something on your mind
427
00:26:35,178 --> 00:26:37,180
I expect you to speak out.
428
00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,310
- You look at me so strangely, Natalie.
429
00:26:43,311 --> 00:26:46,272
It's almost as if you,
you doubted my work here.
430
00:26:48,566 --> 00:26:49,317
- Oh, I...
431
00:26:49,525 --> 00:26:52,070
- You do believe people should
stop smoking, don't you?
432
00:26:55,448 --> 00:26:57,533
Then it's my motives you doubt.
433
00:26:59,786 --> 00:27:00,453
- Well...
434
00:27:00,661 --> 00:27:04,248
- Natalie, Natalie, how
can you possibly doubt?
435
00:27:08,711 --> 00:27:11,047
- Everywhere you look you
see god's spirit at work.
436
00:27:11,255 --> 00:27:14,050
You see a revitalization of faith.
437
00:27:14,258 --> 00:27:15,384
A new dedication.
438
00:27:16,344 --> 00:27:18,262
A vast consecration.
439
00:27:19,764 --> 00:27:21,182
This is his work, Natalie.
440
00:27:22,475 --> 00:27:24,185
I'm only doing his bidding.
441
00:27:25,937 --> 00:27:27,563
You see that, don't you?
442
00:27:30,108 --> 00:27:31,108
- Good, good.
443
00:27:34,695 --> 00:27:36,864
Isn't it nice we can
talk these things out?
444
00:27:37,949 --> 00:27:39,450
- Hello Americans, Paul hardly.
445
00:27:40,326 --> 00:27:41,702
While any American city
446
00:27:41,911 --> 00:27:44,622
would welcome a 25
million dollar windfall.
447
00:27:44,831 --> 00:27:49,627
Any town wishing to qualify
must have 100% of the population
448
00:27:49,836 --> 00:27:51,504
signed, sealed, and delivered
449
00:27:51,671 --> 00:27:55,675
to the 30 day no smoking
pledge at midnight June 1.
450
00:27:57,635 --> 00:27:59,137
As the deadline approaches,
451
00:27:59,345 --> 00:28:01,305
the question we hear again and again is
452
00:28:02,306 --> 00:28:06,269
is there a town in such
dire economic straights
453
00:28:06,477 --> 00:28:08,688
as to be able to exhort this sacrifice
454
00:28:08,896 --> 00:28:11,858
from it's citizenry cold Turkey?
455
00:28:12,066 --> 00:28:14,402
Paul hardly, good day.
456
00:28:14,610 --> 00:28:16,821
- And I know what you
heavy smokers are thinking.
457
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:19,657
You tried to quit and it's hopeless,
458
00:28:19,866 --> 00:28:22,577
but this time I tell
you you've got a reason.
459
00:28:24,370 --> 00:28:25,514
You think you're the only ones
460
00:28:25,538 --> 00:28:27,832
being asked to make a sacrifice.
461
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,126
Well, all right, all right,
462
00:28:30,334 --> 00:28:33,546
but I also ask you to
consider it in this light.
463
00:28:33,754 --> 00:28:37,091
You're the only ones being
given an opportunity to serve.
464
00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:42,680
By your courage, by your
discipline, by your strength,
465
00:28:43,598 --> 00:28:46,350
you're given the opportunity
to serve your fellow man,
466
00:28:46,559 --> 00:28:50,021
your community, your
family, and yourselves,
467
00:28:51,355 --> 00:28:52,648
and another thing,
468
00:28:52,857 --> 00:28:55,484
when eagle rock has
its 25 million dollars,
469
00:28:55,693 --> 00:28:57,570
when eagle rock has its economic security,
470
00:28:57,778 --> 00:29:00,114
when eagle rock has its industry,
471
00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:01,741
when all that's all over,
472
00:29:01,949 --> 00:29:04,827
you will still have something
to thank almighty god for,
473
00:29:05,703 --> 00:29:09,874
your life, your good health,
your physical well-being.
474
00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:12,242
- Yes, yes, it's easy enough
for you to talk, reverend,
475
00:29:12,376 --> 00:29:13,669
it's no skin off your nose.
476
00:29:13,878 --> 00:29:15,171
(Crowd chattering)
477
00:29:15,379 --> 00:29:17,006
I mean, you don't smoke!
478
00:29:17,215 --> 00:29:18,591
- [Woman] You tell him, Letitia!
479
00:29:18,799 --> 00:29:22,053
(Crowd chattering)
480
00:29:22,261 --> 00:29:26,849
- All right, Letitia, (coughing).
481
00:29:27,058 --> 00:29:29,560
I used smoke, I used to smoke.
482
00:29:29,769 --> 00:29:31,479
My wife, Natalie, used to smoke,
483
00:29:32,772 --> 00:29:34,649
but then I found the good book,
484
00:29:34,857 --> 00:29:36,057
which tells us that our bodies
485
00:29:36,108 --> 00:29:37,693
are the temples of the holy spirit,
486
00:29:38,611 --> 00:29:41,030
and that we should glorify
him when our bodies.
487
00:29:41,239 --> 00:29:42,990
You know, that's 1st
corinthians, chapter 6.
488
00:29:43,199 --> 00:29:45,079
- Yes, all I'm saying is
that you have forgotten
489
00:29:45,117 --> 00:29:46,357
what your asking us to give up,
490
00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:47,119
and it isn't fair!
491
00:29:47,328 --> 00:29:48,412
- [Woman] You bet it isn't!
492
00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:51,282
- Letitia, you may be the one
493
00:29:51,374 --> 00:29:53,542
who's forgotten something very important.
494
00:30:00,758 --> 00:30:01,758
(Crowd gasps)
495
00:30:01,842 --> 00:30:04,845
- [Lady] Whatcha gonna
do with it, reverend?
496
00:30:05,054 --> 00:30:08,099
(Townsfolk chuckling)
497
00:30:10,851 --> 00:30:12,451
- [Man] You gonna take a puff, reverend?
498
00:30:15,231 --> 00:30:17,066
- All right, Letitia,
499
00:30:17,275 --> 00:30:21,195
I don't know if an old
habit can be recultivated.
500
00:30:22,321 --> 00:30:23,406
Tell you what I'll do.
501
00:30:24,448 --> 00:30:26,617
Letitia, if you'll walk over there
502
00:30:26,826 --> 00:30:31,122
and sign that book, I'll try.
503
00:30:31,330 --> 00:30:33,708
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
504
00:30:33,916 --> 00:30:36,377
(Upbeat orchestral music)
505
00:30:36,585 --> 00:30:38,379
- I'll do it, reverend!
506
00:30:38,587 --> 00:30:41,007
I'll do it for eagle rock!
507
00:31:10,119 --> 00:31:11,412
- There's just one day to go
508
00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:14,457
before project cold
Turkey is due to begin,
509
00:31:15,333 --> 00:31:16,584
and at this moment,
510
00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:19,211
no city in america has succeeded
511
00:31:19,420 --> 00:31:20,713
in getting all of its residents
512
00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:23,382
to sign the no smoking pledge.
513
00:31:23,549 --> 00:31:28,095
Closest with approximately
98% of its residents signed
514
00:31:28,304 --> 00:31:32,641
is little eagle rock, population 4,006.
515
00:31:32,850 --> 00:31:35,394
With so little time, one wonders,
516
00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:38,689
can eagle rock marshal
its hardcore holdouts?
517
00:31:38,898 --> 00:31:41,734
- Now doc, let's get down to cases?
518
00:31:41,901 --> 00:31:44,528
Are you gonna sign up
to quit smoking or not?
519
00:31:44,737 --> 00:31:46,655
- Oh well, now, as a fellow member
520
00:31:46,864 --> 00:31:47,924
of the council, miss berman,
521
00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:50,618
I'm uh, I'm with this thing
in spirit all the way,
522
00:31:50,826 --> 00:31:52,953
but as a doctor and a surgeon,
523
00:31:53,162 --> 00:31:55,289
my medical opinion is
that I'm congenitally
524
00:31:55,498 --> 00:31:58,125
unable to uh give up smoking.
525
00:31:58,334 --> 00:32:00,312
Congenitally, you understand
that means there's uh,
526
00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:01,045
there's nothing I can do about it,
527
00:32:01,253 --> 00:32:03,506
so um, it really isn't
going to be any good
528
00:32:03,714 --> 00:32:05,508
to kid me, miss berman, about foreclosing
529
00:32:05,716 --> 00:32:07,343
on my hospital and my X-ray.
530
00:32:07,551 --> 00:32:08,551
- Who's kidding?
531
00:32:09,387 --> 00:32:10,614
- Why, surely you don't mean
that you and your bank...
532
00:32:10,638 --> 00:32:11,806
- Now, you just sign up,
533
00:32:11,972 --> 00:32:15,059
or you're gonna be removing
gallstones in your bathtub.
534
00:32:15,267 --> 00:32:16,328
- Miss berman, that's blackmail.
535
00:32:16,352 --> 00:32:18,072
- You say that word
again and I'll cry rape.
536
00:32:18,145 --> 00:32:18,896
- Shh, shh.
537
00:32:19,105 --> 00:32:20,231
- Now, you just sign up,
538
00:32:20,439 --> 00:32:22,525
and get your nervous
little body outta here.
539
00:32:22,733 --> 00:32:25,945
(Dr. Proctor murmuring)
540
00:32:31,867 --> 00:32:34,870
Reverend, the lord's business is done.
541
00:32:36,038 --> 00:32:39,083
Now, do I have that plot
in the church cemetery?
542
00:32:40,584 --> 00:32:45,548
- Stop smoking, you might as
well ask me to stop breathing.
543
00:32:47,550 --> 00:32:49,230
- Well, you have that
wrong, Mr. Stopworth.
544
00:32:49,301 --> 00:32:51,804
To continue smoking is to stop breathing.
545
00:32:53,097 --> 00:32:57,435
- That's a very interesting
play on words, Mr. Brooks.
546
00:33:03,524 --> 00:33:07,111
You men of the cloth sure
have a way with words.
547
00:33:08,696 --> 00:33:11,198
How old do you think I am?
548
00:33:11,407 --> 00:33:12,491
- (Clears throat) Oh, 42.
549
00:33:15,703 --> 00:33:20,666
- I'm 42, look, I'm, I'm gonna
confess something to you.
550
00:33:21,584 --> 00:33:23,669
I tipple Mr. Brooks.
551
00:33:24,795 --> 00:33:25,880
I mean, I drink.
552
00:33:27,923 --> 00:33:31,427
I mean, I drink all the time.
553
00:33:31,635 --> 00:33:33,220
(Bottles clinking)
554
00:33:33,429 --> 00:33:34,472
Shocks you, doesn't it?
555
00:33:37,516 --> 00:33:38,559
You better stand up.
556
00:33:38,726 --> 00:33:40,311
I'm afraid I might fall on you.
557
00:33:43,481 --> 00:33:47,860
The thing is I can't stop drinking, see.
558
00:33:48,861 --> 00:33:50,738
That's just the thing about me.
559
00:33:50,946 --> 00:33:53,282
I can't stop drinking.
560
00:33:55,326 --> 00:33:56,702
You except that, don't you?
561
00:33:56,911 --> 00:33:57,911
- Mm, certainly.
562
00:33:57,953 --> 00:34:01,207
- No matter what happens
when you leave here,
563
00:34:01,415 --> 00:34:06,253
I will always drink, thank you.
564
00:34:08,005 --> 00:34:12,176
Now, all right, if you
can understand that,
565
00:34:13,802 --> 00:34:18,390
you can also understand that my drinking
566
00:34:18,599 --> 00:34:20,851
is directly connected to my smoking.
567
00:34:21,060 --> 00:34:24,772
You know what, when I say directly,
568
00:34:26,357 --> 00:34:30,361
I mean that as a thing,
a, a physical thing
569
00:34:31,654 --> 00:34:33,197
that is directly connected
570
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:39,161
from my liquor buds to the
smoke pouch in my lungs.
571
00:34:42,081 --> 00:34:47,044
If you want me to quit smoking
you're gonna have to cut,
572
00:34:51,632 --> 00:34:56,554
I mean, you'd have to
physically cut that thing,
573
00:35:01,225 --> 00:35:06,188
and when you do my head's gonna fall off.
574
00:35:08,065 --> 00:35:09,984
Do you understand, reverman?
575
00:35:13,362 --> 00:35:17,074
The booze bone is connected
to the smoke bone,
576
00:35:18,409 --> 00:35:21,704
and the smoke bone is
connected to the head bone,
577
00:35:23,664 --> 00:35:25,666
and that's the word of the lord.
578
00:35:31,630 --> 00:35:35,593
- Mr. Stopworth, we've
been talking for an hour,
579
00:35:35,801 --> 00:35:39,763
and I can't convince you.
580
00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:43,559
You see, Mr. Stopworth,
we have about six hours,
581
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:46,395
and something like 30
odd signatures to go.
582
00:35:48,063 --> 00:35:51,984
Now, I know that it's
hard to stop smoking.
583
00:35:52,151 --> 00:35:52,818
(Mr. Stopworth scoffs)
584
00:35:53,027 --> 00:35:56,071
I suppose the withdraw
causes a lot of pain.
585
00:35:57,865 --> 00:35:59,283
You don't like pain, do you?
586
00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:07,875
The whole town is depending
on this, I'm sorry.
587
00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:09,335
- What're you doing?
588
00:36:09,543 --> 00:36:11,183
- Maybe you are not aware, Mr. Stopworth,
589
00:36:11,378 --> 00:36:12,689
that I was intercollegiate middle-weight
590
00:36:12,713 --> 00:36:14,214
boxing champion in my school days.
591
00:36:14,423 --> 00:36:15,966
- You mean, you're kidding?
592
00:36:16,175 --> 00:36:17,968
You can't do that, you're a man of god.
593
00:36:18,177 --> 00:36:19,595
- And his work must be done.
594
00:36:19,803 --> 00:36:21,221
- I don't believe this.
595
00:36:21,430 --> 00:36:22,973
Well, I believe it a little bit.
596
00:36:23,182 --> 00:36:25,225
- Now, you can stop smoking
for 30 days, can't you?
597
00:36:25,434 --> 00:36:26,434
- I don't think so.
598
00:36:27,186 --> 00:36:28,979
I'm gonna call the police.
599
00:36:29,188 --> 00:36:30,332
- Homer Watson's on our side.
600
00:36:30,356 --> 00:36:32,274
- Well, I'm gonna call the doctor.
601
00:36:32,483 --> 00:36:33,776
- Dr. Proctor signed the pledge.
602
00:36:33,984 --> 00:36:36,195
- I could go away for a month.
603
00:36:37,780 --> 00:36:38,822
Who said that?
604
00:36:39,907 --> 00:36:42,660
That's a wonderful idea.
605
00:36:42,868 --> 00:36:44,703
I don't have to stay here.
606
00:36:44,912 --> 00:36:47,331
I have a place in French lick.
607
00:36:47,539 --> 00:36:48,791
Oh, thank you.
608
00:36:48,999 --> 00:36:51,543
Now, you don't have to hit me.
609
00:36:51,752 --> 00:36:53,879
God bless you, reverman.
610
00:36:55,589 --> 00:36:56,589
- Now, follow me.
611
00:36:57,591 --> 00:36:59,510
Ready, set, go!
612
00:36:59,718 --> 00:37:02,262
- [All] I pledge allegiance to the flag
613
00:37:02,471 --> 00:37:04,932
of the United States of America,
614
00:37:05,140 --> 00:37:08,143
and to the republic for which it stands,
615
00:37:08,352 --> 00:37:12,439
one nation under god, indivisible,
616
00:37:13,774 --> 00:37:17,569
with Liberty and justice for all.
617
00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:25,577
- Well now, folks, got a big
surprise for you tonight.
618
00:37:25,786 --> 00:37:29,289
Our guest speaker is from
way down in muncy, Alabama,
619
00:37:29,498 --> 00:37:30,999
and he needs very little introduction
620
00:37:31,208 --> 00:37:33,669
to the members of the
Christopher mott society.
621
00:37:33,877 --> 00:37:37,756
He is a retired rear admiral
in the United States Navy,
622
00:37:37,965 --> 00:37:42,052
former board chairman of the
hustings chemical corporation,
623
00:37:42,261 --> 00:37:45,013
and author of the best selling,
624
00:37:45,222 --> 00:37:48,350
hello big government,
goodbye america (chuckles).
625
00:37:48,559 --> 00:37:51,103
(Audience murmuring)
626
00:37:51,311 --> 00:37:53,897
Here he is then, two time winner
627
00:37:54,106 --> 00:37:56,024
of the minutemen's americanism award,
628
00:37:56,233 --> 00:37:58,610
a great hero, a great American,
629
00:37:58,819 --> 00:37:59,819
ladies and gentlemen,
630
00:37:59,945 --> 00:38:03,866
I give you rear-admiral
Nelson steinschweiger.
631
00:38:08,704 --> 00:38:11,832
(Audience applauding)
632
00:38:29,683 --> 00:38:33,145
- [Nelson] Thank you, thank
you, thank you very much
633
00:38:33,353 --> 00:38:35,856
for that kind introduction,
634
00:38:36,064 --> 00:38:38,484
and good evening ladies and gentlemen.
635
00:38:38,692 --> 00:38:40,110
- [All] Good evening.
636
00:38:40,319 --> 00:38:42,196
- Here we are, that's
admiral steinschweiger.
637
00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:44,281
A wonderful speaker, 595 record.
638
00:38:44,490 --> 00:38:45,850
A pleasure to have him in my home.
639
00:38:46,033 --> 00:38:47,326
- Amos, we must talk to you.
640
00:38:47,534 --> 00:38:49,119
- Amos, practically the whole town
641
00:38:49,328 --> 00:38:51,008
has signed up for the cold Turkey project.
642
00:38:51,079 --> 00:38:52,498
- All, but 29 people.
643
00:38:52,706 --> 00:38:55,250
- The 29 members of the
Christopher mott society,
644
00:38:55,459 --> 00:38:57,920
and Amos, your members don't smoke.
645
00:38:58,128 --> 00:38:58,921
- Well, even if we don't smoke,
646
00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:00,964
we don't want you telling us what to do.
647
00:39:01,173 --> 00:39:02,317
There's enough big government
648
00:39:02,341 --> 00:39:03,884
messing in our individual affairs.
649
00:39:04,092 --> 00:39:07,805
- Big government, Amos, eagle
rock pays me $800.00 a year.
650
00:39:08,013 --> 00:39:09,848
The city's mayor comes to my barber shop.
651
00:39:10,057 --> 00:39:11,183
That's big government?
652
00:39:11,391 --> 00:39:12,660
- Individual initiative has been
653
00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:14,603
the backbone of this country.
654
00:39:14,812 --> 00:39:16,605
A man's home is his castle.
655
00:39:16,814 --> 00:39:18,649
I fight poverty, I work.
656
00:39:18,857 --> 00:39:21,902
I was never one of those that
said eisenhower was a commie.
657
00:39:24,196 --> 00:39:26,532
- Amos, each smoker in eagle rock
658
00:39:26,740 --> 00:39:29,409
is taking the initiative to stop smoking.
659
00:39:29,618 --> 00:39:31,298
Now, isn't that what you're talking about?
660
00:39:31,411 --> 00:39:33,413
- Well, what about the non-smoker?
661
00:39:33,622 --> 00:39:35,207
What's he doing while the others
662
00:39:35,415 --> 00:39:37,376
are using their individual initiative?
663
00:39:38,460 --> 00:39:42,256
- Well, he's uh, taking the
initiative too, he's observing.
664
00:39:42,422 --> 00:39:44,758
- Checking to see that no
cigarettes come into town.
665
00:39:44,967 --> 00:39:46,969
- Yes, reporting violations perhaps.
666
00:39:50,138 --> 00:39:52,432
- Reporting violations?
667
00:39:55,435 --> 00:39:59,356
You mean like uh, policing the situation?
668
00:39:59,565 --> 00:40:00,774
- Yes, I suppose so.
669
00:40:03,777 --> 00:40:04,820
- Could I wear a cap?
670
00:40:06,113 --> 00:40:07,447
Can my people wear armbands?
671
00:40:07,656 --> 00:40:08,656
- Why not?
672
00:40:11,535 --> 00:40:14,705
(Chuckles) Thank you, gentlemen,
673
00:40:14,913 --> 00:40:16,456
for that most interesting proposal.
674
00:40:16,665 --> 00:40:17,892
I will present it to the members
675
00:40:17,916 --> 00:40:19,060
of the Christopher mott society.
676
00:40:19,084 --> 00:40:21,712
We'll discuss it openly and
in our Democratic tradition,
677
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:22,920
we'll vote on it.
678
00:40:24,965 --> 00:40:27,217
I think the armbands
will be yellow and red.
679
00:40:29,511 --> 00:40:31,072
- [Nelson] That dark and dank conspiracy.
680
00:40:31,096 --> 00:40:32,574
Thank you, thank you
admiral steinschweiger
681
00:40:32,598 --> 00:40:34,766
for that most inspirational talk.
682
00:40:34,975 --> 00:40:36,894
Members of the Christopher mott society,
683
00:40:37,102 --> 00:40:38,854
something has just come up.
684
00:40:39,062 --> 00:40:43,108
(“The stars and stripes forever“)
685
00:40:57,998 --> 00:40:59,038
- [Quincey] How you doing?
686
00:40:59,124 --> 00:41:02,169
- [Woman] Hi, mayor, hi, Mrs. Wappler!
687
00:41:03,879 --> 00:41:05,505
- [Dr. Proctor] Good evening, reverend!
688
00:41:05,714 --> 00:41:07,382
- [Clayton] How ya doing, doc?
689
00:41:07,591 --> 00:41:09,301
- [Gentleman] Hi, mayor!
690
00:41:09,509 --> 00:41:13,597
(“The stars and stripes forever“)
691
00:41:16,224 --> 00:41:18,310
- [Man] Nice to see you there, homer!
692
00:41:18,518 --> 00:41:22,522
(“The stars and stripes forever“)
693
00:41:25,776 --> 00:41:27,444
- How about we made it!
694
00:41:27,653 --> 00:41:30,322
(Crowd cheering)
695
00:41:36,536 --> 00:41:39,206
Well, at least me made it to the contest.
696
00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:41,792
The Valiant people have been notified.
697
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,378
(Crowd cheering)
698
00:41:44,586 --> 00:41:46,630
- Mayor, mayor, give me the mic.
699
00:41:46,838 --> 00:41:48,131
Quiet, folks, quiet.
700
00:41:48,340 --> 00:41:50,008
It's Walter chronic, wait a minute.
701
00:41:50,217 --> 00:41:51,927
They're talking about eagle rock.
702
00:41:52,135 --> 00:41:52,844
Here, take a look at this.
703
00:41:53,053 --> 00:41:54,680
- With 50 minutes to go,
704
00:41:54,888 --> 00:41:58,517
at least on American town
has managed to qualify.
705
00:41:58,725 --> 00:42:01,269
12 o'clock midnight all smoking will cease
706
00:42:01,478 --> 00:42:03,021
in eagle rock, Iowa.
707
00:42:03,230 --> 00:42:07,275
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
708
00:42:07,484 --> 00:42:08,544
- [Homer] There's more, there's more!
709
00:42:08,568 --> 00:42:10,696
- The man who almost single-handedly
710
00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:12,072
whipped the town into action
711
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:14,074
is the reverend Clayton Brooks.
712
00:42:14,282 --> 00:42:18,203
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
713
00:42:45,439 --> 00:42:47,983
Tomorrow will be their
first smokeless day.
714
00:42:50,360 --> 00:42:52,988
- You said no town in
america would sign up.
715
00:42:55,032 --> 00:42:57,909
- Must've uh, must've
gotten a wire crossed there.
716
00:42:58,118 --> 00:43:00,328
- Now, you'll say they
won't go threw with it.
717
00:43:01,788 --> 00:43:04,207
- Bottom line, never.
718
00:43:05,208 --> 00:43:07,878
- How do you know they
won't smoke and hide out?
719
00:43:08,086 --> 00:43:09,671
How do you know that, wren?
720
00:43:12,966 --> 00:43:17,929
- Well, they uh, they took
an oath on uh, like a Bible.
721
00:43:19,306 --> 00:43:21,767
- We didn't think it
was on a slab of bacon.
722
00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:24,603
- I trust you're doing something
723
00:43:24,811 --> 00:43:27,439
to make sure they won't smoke in private?
724
00:43:30,942 --> 00:43:32,069
- Wire number two.
725
00:43:35,781 --> 00:43:37,657
- Tell me something, boy,
726
00:43:37,866 --> 00:43:40,660
are you figuring to cross a third wire?
727
00:43:41,995 --> 00:43:43,455
- No, sir.
728
00:43:43,663 --> 00:43:45,832
- Good, 'cause if you do,
729
00:43:46,041 --> 00:43:47,918
we're gonna have your head on a platter,
730
00:43:48,919 --> 00:43:51,421
and your dumb ass in a deep freeze.
731
00:43:55,050 --> 00:43:58,220
(Truck engine humming)
732
00:44:02,474 --> 00:44:04,976
(Bell tolling)
733
00:44:17,697 --> 00:44:20,992
(Mrs. Proctor laughing)
734
00:44:24,579 --> 00:44:27,165
(Bell tolling)
735
00:45:33,565 --> 00:45:35,942
- Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.
736
00:45:36,109 --> 00:45:41,031
Well, it's almost 6 am.
Out there in eagle rock.
737
00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:44,993
Beginning of a big, big, day, huh?
738
00:45:45,202 --> 00:45:48,872
- All right, men, we got
a big job here today.
739
00:45:49,915 --> 00:45:54,169
Big responsibility and I'm
gonna tell you what it is.
740
00:45:55,879 --> 00:45:56,880
Here's what it is.
741
00:45:57,839 --> 00:46:01,426
We gotta see that no cigars, cigarettes,
742
00:46:01,635 --> 00:46:03,887
or pipe tobacco get into eagle rock.
743
00:46:04,804 --> 00:46:06,640
We are running a blockade here,
744
00:46:07,724 --> 00:46:10,685
and that means we got
to stop every vehicle,
745
00:46:11,728 --> 00:46:13,855
and we got to search every vehicle.
746
00:46:15,899 --> 00:46:17,234
Now is, is that clear?
747
00:46:19,027 --> 00:46:20,027
Any questions?
748
00:46:22,155 --> 00:46:24,491
You should've taken care of
that before you got here.
749
00:46:26,868 --> 00:46:30,413
We don't supply toilet
facilities on a blockade.
750
00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:35,377
(Payton and Natalie coughing)
751
00:47:03,238 --> 00:47:05,615
- Edna, edna, you've
gotta control yourself.
752
00:47:05,824 --> 00:47:07,200
You can't go on eating like this.
753
00:47:07,409 --> 00:47:08,702
It's only the first day,
754
00:47:08,910 --> 00:47:10,346
and that's your fifth piece of toast,
755
00:47:10,370 --> 00:47:12,580
your fifth piece of salami,
and your eighth gherkin.
756
00:47:12,789 --> 00:47:16,042
- It's my sixth slice
of salami, six slices.
757
00:47:16,209 --> 00:47:19,296
One, two, three, four,
five, sixth slice of salami.
758
00:47:19,504 --> 00:47:21,256
Then next it'll be my seventh,
759
00:47:21,464 --> 00:47:22,882
and this is my 11th gherkin.
760
00:47:23,091 --> 00:47:26,386
I had five gherkins before I
decided to wrap them in salami,
761
00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:28,638
and this is my second carrot.
762
00:47:28,847 --> 00:47:31,641
That's two carrots, six slices
of salami, and 11 gherkins,
763
00:47:31,850 --> 00:47:33,170
and I haven't counted the cheese,
764
00:47:33,351 --> 00:47:35,395
and it isn't even seven o'clock yet!
765
00:47:35,603 --> 00:47:36,229
Do you hear that?
766
00:47:36,438 --> 00:47:40,984
It's not even seven o'clock (crying)!
767
00:47:41,192 --> 00:47:42,736
- Come on, let's go, let's go!
768
00:47:42,944 --> 00:47:44,104
Oh, my god, I'm coming apart!
769
00:47:44,279 --> 00:47:45,613
(Horn blowing)
770
00:47:45,822 --> 00:47:49,659
Hey you, where the devil
do you think you're going?
771
00:47:49,868 --> 00:47:51,953
Did I give you the signal?
772
00:47:52,162 --> 00:47:54,162
Shut up, I don't give a
damn what you've gotta say!
773
00:47:54,289 --> 00:47:57,459
Next time you wait for
my cigarette, uh signal!
774
00:47:57,667 --> 00:47:58,667
Okay, now go!
775
00:47:59,878 --> 00:48:03,882
Who the hell do you people
think you are anyway?
776
00:48:07,510 --> 00:48:10,055
- Maxine, look darling, I'm sorry.
777
00:48:10,263 --> 00:48:11,639
I didn't mean to yell at you.
778
00:48:11,848 --> 00:48:14,476
(Chuckles) Listen, dear,
I'll tell you why I called.
779
00:48:14,684 --> 00:48:17,979
Last night I went to sleep at 11:30.
780
00:48:18,188 --> 00:48:19,388
You know, about a half an hour
781
00:48:19,564 --> 00:48:22,817
before we were all suppose
to stop smoking (chuckles).
782
00:48:23,026 --> 00:48:26,029
Yeah well, anyway, this
morning I realized,
783
00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:29,532
I have another half hour coming to me,
784
00:48:29,741 --> 00:48:31,993
and I just wanted to
smoke one last cigarette,
785
00:48:32,202 --> 00:48:37,082
and well, silly thing that I am, I um,
786
00:48:37,540 --> 00:48:40,043
I threw everyone of them out (laughing).
787
00:48:40,251 --> 00:48:42,379
Yes, (laughing).
788
00:48:42,587 --> 00:48:45,256
Oh yes, I know you threw yours away too.
789
00:48:46,299 --> 00:48:49,427
Listen, Maxine, uh, do you remember
790
00:48:49,594 --> 00:48:52,013
that box I gave you last week?
791
00:48:52,222 --> 00:48:55,058
Ah, yeah, the old things
for the rummage sale.
792
00:48:55,266 --> 00:48:57,811
Well, there were three
old pocketbooks in there,
793
00:48:58,019 --> 00:49:02,816
and if you could just um, put
your hands on them right away,
794
00:49:02,982 --> 00:49:04,502
you just might find a cigarette or two
795
00:49:04,609 --> 00:49:06,945
in one of those old
pocketbooks (laughing), yeah.
796
00:49:09,364 --> 00:49:12,492
Huh, yeah, well of
course I took the pledge.
797
00:49:12,700 --> 00:49:14,953
No, you see, I have this
other half hour coming.
798
00:49:15,954 --> 00:49:16,954
Well, I do too!
799
00:49:17,914 --> 00:49:18,665
Oh, now listen, Maxine,
800
00:49:18,873 --> 00:49:22,293
I don't wanna hear that
holier than thou, not from.
801
00:49:22,502 --> 00:49:26,131
Maxine, Maxine, don't
you dare hang up on me!
802
00:49:30,009 --> 00:49:31,219
Son of a bitch.
803
00:49:31,428 --> 00:49:35,014
(Whimsical orchestral music)
804
00:50:17,223 --> 00:50:17,891
- T. T. Logenberry, the name...
805
00:50:18,099 --> 00:50:19,243
- Now, you just hold on a minute.
806
00:50:19,267 --> 00:50:19,851
I don't know you.
807
00:50:20,059 --> 00:50:23,021
I never saw you before
and you never saw me.
808
00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:24,498
Now, let's get one thing
straight right now.
809
00:50:24,522 --> 00:50:26,125
You play ball with me,
I'll play ball with you.
810
00:50:26,149 --> 00:50:27,775
You want trouble, I'll give you trouble.
811
00:50:27,984 --> 00:50:28,610
It's up to you.
812
00:50:28,818 --> 00:50:30,320
Now, you got any cigars, cigarettes,
813
00:50:30,528 --> 00:50:32,113
or pipe tobacco in there?
814
00:50:32,322 --> 00:50:34,908
- I searched the rear, he's clean.
815
00:50:35,116 --> 00:50:36,868
- Odie turman, what're you doing here?
816
00:50:37,076 --> 00:50:39,829
I told you last night
you're too old to do this.
817
00:50:40,038 --> 00:50:41,098
- You can't have too much help
818
00:50:41,122 --> 00:50:43,166
ferreting out them communists.
819
00:50:43,374 --> 00:50:44,852
- Odie, we're not
ferreting out communists.
820
00:50:44,876 --> 00:50:46,085
We're looking for cigarettes.
821
00:50:46,294 --> 00:50:48,838
- Oh, so what, the red devils.
822
00:50:51,341 --> 00:50:52,800
Where's my pistol?
823
00:50:53,009 --> 00:50:53,635
- You can't have a pistol.
824
00:50:53,843 --> 00:50:55,053
- Well, that's a bullshit.
825
00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:56,304
You've got a pistol.
826
00:50:56,513 --> 00:50:58,153
- Odie, I am, I am running this blockade,
827
00:50:58,264 --> 00:51:00,683
and I am also the leader of
the entire no smoking patrol,
828
00:51:00,892 --> 00:51:02,810
and I wear the only pistol.
829
00:51:03,019 --> 00:51:05,813
- I'll tell that to a
communists when he h-bombs me.
830
00:51:06,022 --> 00:51:08,191
I'll tell him before you h-bomb me,
831
00:51:08,399 --> 00:51:12,278
you go over to that man with
the gun and get captured.
832
00:51:12,487 --> 00:51:14,239
You're a bullshit, Amos bush.
833
00:51:15,073 --> 00:51:16,833
- Come over man, christoper
mott it, come on!
834
00:51:17,700 --> 00:51:19,369
Everybody passes inspection,
835
00:51:19,577 --> 00:51:21,287
and then you're welcome in eagle rock.
836
00:51:21,496 --> 00:51:23,998
You gotta pass inspection first.
837
00:51:24,207 --> 00:51:25,875
Did you get inspected?
838
00:52:00,743 --> 00:52:04,789
- You're relaxed, you see,
because you're smoking.
839
00:52:07,041 --> 00:52:10,920
Let the others suffer,
because they're not smoking,
840
00:52:11,963 --> 00:52:13,381
but not you, doctor.
841
00:52:14,382 --> 00:52:19,345
Take another puff, because
you are still smoking.
842
00:52:21,681 --> 00:52:25,852
Feel the smoke curling
in front of your eyes.
843
00:52:27,437 --> 00:52:29,230
Does it make your eyes tear?
844
00:52:31,316 --> 00:52:34,944
Yes, yes.
845
00:52:40,116 --> 00:52:41,576
Watch your ash.
846
00:52:41,784 --> 00:52:42,785
You're on fire, doctor,
847
00:52:42,994 --> 00:52:45,163
because you've dropped
your cigarette in your lap.
848
00:52:45,371 --> 00:52:47,665
(Dr. Proctor grunts)
849
00:52:47,874 --> 00:52:49,459
Shall we try a filter?
850
00:52:54,839 --> 00:52:56,007
- Don't you move now.
851
00:52:56,215 --> 00:53:00,094
With my palsy you're in enough
trouble just standing there.
852
00:53:00,303 --> 00:53:01,322
- Odie, what're you doing?
853
00:53:01,346 --> 00:53:02,805
Give me my gun!
854
00:53:03,014 --> 00:53:04,098
- This is a communist.
855
00:53:04,307 --> 00:53:05,933
Look at them cigarettes.
856
00:53:06,142 --> 00:53:09,354
- I was just trying to
explain to the old lady here,
857
00:53:09,562 --> 00:53:11,022
this, this car's a rental.
858
00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:13,149
- Sure, and I'm an unwed mother.
859
00:53:14,651 --> 00:53:18,571
- At ease, we're confiscating
those cigarettes, you know?
860
00:53:18,780 --> 00:53:20,990
- Solemn word, I uh, I didn't,
861
00:53:21,199 --> 00:53:22,384
didn't, didn't know about the cigarettes.
862
00:53:22,408 --> 00:53:24,494
I, I suspect the, the
avis people are just uh,
863
00:53:24,702 --> 00:53:26,162
trying a bit too hard (laughing).
864
00:53:29,874 --> 00:53:31,674
Well, I uh, I uh, I have
a lighter shaped, uh,
865
00:53:31,876 --> 00:53:33,127
shaped just like your gun.
866
00:53:33,336 --> 00:53:36,589
It's a lighter, it's not a
gun, see, there, lighter.
867
00:53:38,675 --> 00:53:43,096
Thought you might uh, might
find that interesting.
868
00:53:43,304 --> 00:53:46,933
(Whimsical orchestral music)
869
00:54:53,291 --> 00:54:55,001
(Glass crashing)
870
00:54:55,209 --> 00:54:56,209
- [Man] Morning, sir.
871
00:54:57,837 --> 00:55:00,214
- Mr. Kandiss, the
Valiant tobacco company's
872
00:55:00,423 --> 00:55:02,508
cold Turkey project is in its 11th day.
873
00:55:02,717 --> 00:55:04,594
How do you feel about it now?
874
00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:07,430
- I told you to leave me the (beep) Alone.
875
00:55:07,638 --> 00:55:09,932
(Fist thuds)
876
00:55:10,141 --> 00:55:13,644
- David chetley,
Charlotte, north Carolina.
877
00:55:13,853 --> 00:55:16,689
- [Freddy] Our guest today
is Dr. Royal gunderson,
878
00:55:16,898 --> 00:55:20,735
noted specialist on things,
including non-smoking.
879
00:55:20,943 --> 00:55:22,945
Dr. Gunderson is here to tell us
880
00:55:23,154 --> 00:55:25,573
where we can find the
release from tension,
881
00:55:25,782 --> 00:55:28,618
aggravation, and frustration
882
00:55:28,826 --> 00:55:31,370
that smoking once provided, doctor.
883
00:55:31,579 --> 00:55:32,163
- [Dr. Gunderson] Well, Teddy.
884
00:55:32,371 --> 00:55:33,039
- [Freddy] Freddy.
885
00:55:33,247 --> 00:55:34,266
- [Dr. Gunderson]
- Actually, I can recommend
886
00:55:34,290 --> 00:55:36,876
many health substitutes
for the new non-smoker.
887
00:55:37,084 --> 00:55:37,752
- [Freddy] Such as?
888
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:39,521
- [Dr. Gunderson] Exercise
for example is very nice,
889
00:55:39,545 --> 00:55:41,088
or hard physical labor.
890
00:55:41,297 --> 00:55:41,881
- [Freddy] Uh huh.
891
00:55:42,089 --> 00:55:44,091
- [Dr. Gunderson] Or to
the married non-smoker,
892
00:55:44,300 --> 00:55:46,260
I often suggest another compensation.
893
00:55:46,469 --> 00:55:48,638
The act of physical love.
894
00:55:48,846 --> 00:55:49,886
- [Freddy] You don't mean?
895
00:55:49,972 --> 00:55:51,241
- [Dr. Gunderson] Yes, I do mean that,
896
00:55:51,265 --> 00:55:53,226
and I hope it's all right
to say on the radio.
897
00:55:53,434 --> 00:55:54,477
The act of physical love.
898
00:55:54,685 --> 00:55:56,020
- [Freddy] Yes, well then doctor,
899
00:55:56,229 --> 00:55:59,941
you recommend exercise,
hard physical labor, and it.
900
00:56:00,149 --> 00:56:02,002
- [Dr. Gunderson] It, yes,
the act of physical love.
901
00:56:02,026 --> 00:56:02,735
- [Freddy] As a substitute
902
00:56:02,944 --> 00:56:04,737
for the oral gratification of smoking?
903
00:56:04,946 --> 00:56:06,826
- [Dr. Gunderson] Indeed
I do, and of the three,
904
00:56:06,864 --> 00:56:08,175
the thing that really works best,
905
00:56:08,199 --> 00:56:10,910
and here I stress this is
for the married non-smoker.
906
00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:12,304
- [Freddy] Well, we have
to wrap this up, doctor.
907
00:56:12,328 --> 00:56:14,622
- [Dr. Gunderson] Well, I
say to all in hearsight,
908
00:56:14,831 --> 00:56:15,957
as it were of my voice,
909
00:56:16,165 --> 00:56:19,502
when you stop smoking don't
overeat as so many people do.
910
00:56:19,710 --> 00:56:20,837
I really hate that.
911
00:56:21,045 --> 00:56:24,131
Don't reach for food
when you need a smoke.
912
00:56:24,340 --> 00:56:26,342
Reach instead for that loving helpmate,
913
00:56:26,551 --> 00:56:29,512
that husband, that wife,
914
00:56:29,720 --> 00:56:32,223
and indulge your appetite there.
915
00:56:58,749 --> 00:57:00,835
- All right, no stopping here, keep going!
916
00:58:39,767 --> 00:58:41,394
(Hands thuds)
917
00:58:41,602 --> 00:58:42,186
(Cars thudding)
918
00:58:42,395 --> 00:58:45,022
- [Quincey] Hey, what the?
919
00:58:45,189 --> 00:58:45,856
(Cars thudding)
920
00:58:46,065 --> 00:58:47,065
Stop that!
921
00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:52,321
(Cars thudding)
922
00:58:57,118 --> 00:58:58,118
- Hello, wren here.
923
00:58:59,453 --> 00:59:00,493
Only been here a few days.
924
00:59:00,621 --> 00:59:01,288
Here's the fill.
925
00:59:01,497 --> 00:59:03,082
The town is falling apart!
926
00:59:03,290 --> 00:59:05,060
- [Woman] When I said
come home now, I mean it!
927
00:59:05,084 --> 00:59:07,211
- They're at each others throats.
928
00:59:07,420 --> 00:59:09,630
Wanna know what you gotta worry about?
929
00:59:09,839 --> 00:59:12,039
Nothing, I give the whole
project three more days, tops.
930
00:59:12,133 --> 00:59:14,552
- [Lady] Shit, god damn shopping bags!
931
00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:16,512
- Wren here, 0 and o.
932
00:59:16,721 --> 00:59:17,864
- [Lady] I hate you, I hate you!
933
00:59:17,888 --> 00:59:20,558
- It's uh, over and out.
934
00:59:25,229 --> 00:59:26,229
- Oops!
935
00:59:31,444 --> 00:59:34,030
(Head thudding)
936
00:59:47,460 --> 00:59:48,711
(Ice cream squishing)
937
00:59:48,919 --> 00:59:49,587
(Water splashing)
938
00:59:49,795 --> 00:59:51,088
(Chair thudding)
939
00:59:51,297 --> 00:59:52,297
(Hand thuds)
940
00:59:53,299 --> 00:59:55,926
(Pins crashing)
941
00:59:57,011 --> 00:59:59,680
(Dog squealing)
942
01:00:08,230 --> 01:00:09,398
(Glass crashing)
943
01:00:09,607 --> 01:00:10,274
- It's Dr. Proctor,
944
01:00:10,483 --> 01:00:12,127
he's in the operating
room at the hospital,
945
01:00:12,151 --> 01:00:13,277
and he has a cigarette.
946
01:00:13,486 --> 01:00:14,236
- Call the hospital.
947
01:00:14,445 --> 01:00:16,214
Have them plug me into
the loud speaker system.
948
01:00:16,238 --> 01:00:17,364
Do you understand?
949
01:00:17,573 --> 01:00:18,592
Is the police car downstairs?
950
01:00:18,616 --> 01:00:19,283
- Yeah.
951
01:00:19,492 --> 01:00:20,242
- [Cissy] What is it, what's the matter?
952
01:00:20,451 --> 01:00:22,411
- Beck, call me in homer's squad car.
953
01:00:22,620 --> 01:00:23,287
You have that?
954
01:00:23,496 --> 01:00:24,622
- Right.
955
01:00:24,830 --> 01:00:26,665
- It's Dr. Proctor.
956
01:00:26,874 --> 01:00:28,292
- [Homer] Let's get him.
957
01:00:28,501 --> 01:00:30,211
- Cissy, cissy, hurry.
958
01:00:47,686 --> 01:00:48,395
- [Cissy] Wait a minute.
959
01:00:48,604 --> 01:00:49,230
- [Quincey] There you go.
960
01:00:49,438 --> 01:00:50,478
Hurry, just please, hurry!
961
01:00:50,564 --> 01:00:51,232
- [Cissy] Homer, I only
hope it isn't too late.
962
01:00:51,440 --> 01:00:53,484
- [Quincey] It won't be,
I tell ya, it won't it.
963
01:00:53,651 --> 01:00:55,653
- [Cissy] Oh, Dr. Proctor,
I know he'd crack.
964
01:00:55,861 --> 01:00:56,529
- [Quincey] Shh.
965
01:00:56,737 --> 01:00:57,321
(Siren wailing)
966
01:00:57,530 --> 01:00:58,239
- [Beck] Reverend Brooks, reverend Brooks,
967
01:00:58,447 --> 01:01:00,282
I have Dr. Proctor on the line now.
968
01:01:01,367 --> 01:01:06,330
- Dr. Proctor, Dr. Proc, Dr.
- Proctor, can you hear me?
969
01:01:07,623 --> 01:01:10,501
- This is his nurse, he can
hear you, he can hear you.
970
01:01:10,709 --> 01:01:12,920
- Doctor, don't light that cigarette.
971
01:01:13,129 --> 01:01:14,588
We're only four blocks away.
972
01:01:14,797 --> 01:01:15,965
Nurse, can he hear me?
973
01:01:16,173 --> 01:01:17,333
- He hears you, he hears you.
974
01:01:17,466 --> 01:01:21,220
- Well doctor, god won't tempt
you beyond your strength.
975
01:01:21,428 --> 01:01:23,013
Pray with me now, doctor.
976
01:01:23,222 --> 01:01:27,143
Our father who art in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
977
01:01:27,351 --> 01:01:28,351
- He lit a match!
978
01:01:28,477 --> 01:01:30,312
- Blow it out, nurse!
979
01:01:30,521 --> 01:01:31,188
- Get out!
980
01:01:31,397 --> 01:01:33,983
(Crashing sounds)
981
01:01:35,776 --> 01:01:37,420
- [Quincey] Hurry cissy,
would you hurry, please.
982
01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:38,112
- [Clayton] I'm here, doc.
983
01:01:38,320 --> 01:01:39,589
- [Cissy] We're here to help you.
984
01:01:39,613 --> 01:01:40,653
- [Homer] Hold him, nurse.
985
01:01:40,781 --> 01:01:41,448
- [Clayton] I'm here!
986
01:01:41,657 --> 01:01:44,618
- [Homer] Don't doctor,
don't light that cigarette!
987
01:01:44,827 --> 01:01:45,536
- [Clayton] Be strong, doc.
988
01:01:45,744 --> 01:01:46,412
- [Letitia] We're here.
989
01:01:46,620 --> 01:01:47,639
- [Quincey] One second more.
990
01:01:47,663 --> 01:01:48,807
- [Homer] Don't light
it, doc, I'm warning you.
991
01:01:48,831 --> 01:01:49,891
- [Quincey] This way, cissy.
992
01:01:49,915 --> 01:01:50,624
(Heels thudding)
993
01:01:50,833 --> 01:01:51,833
(Door thuds)
994
01:01:51,959 --> 01:01:53,377
- Doc, no.
995
01:01:53,586 --> 01:01:55,004
- Stay where you are, reverend.
996
01:01:55,212 --> 01:01:56,523
- Homer, what're you doing with that gun?
997
01:01:56,547 --> 01:01:58,299
Doctor, you mustn't.
998
01:01:58,507 --> 01:02:01,927
- Reverend, my family has a
long history of hypertension.
999
01:02:02,094 --> 01:02:03,488
I had two aunts who blew their corks,
1000
01:02:03,512 --> 01:02:05,312
and a sister who's liable
to go at any moment.
1001
01:02:05,514 --> 01:02:07,474
The only thing that's held
me together is smoking.
1002
01:02:07,516 --> 01:02:08,702
Now, you can believe me when I say
1003
01:02:08,726 --> 01:02:12,229
one more day of this and
psst, it's hello sis.
1004
01:02:13,355 --> 01:02:14,023
- Duck!
1005
01:02:14,231 --> 01:02:15,231
(All gasp)
1006
01:02:15,316 --> 01:02:16,334
- Stay right where you are.
1007
01:02:16,358 --> 01:02:18,235
- Doc, now listen to me.
1008
01:02:19,153 --> 01:02:20,946
You're stronger than you think, doc.
1009
01:02:22,281 --> 01:02:24,700
God didn't call you to
destroy, but to heal.
1010
01:02:24,909 --> 01:02:27,494
- That's right, and I'm
going to heal right now,
1011
01:02:27,703 --> 01:02:29,103
but I've never, I've never operated
1012
01:02:29,288 --> 01:02:30,706
without having a cigarette first.
1013
01:02:30,915 --> 01:02:32,791
- For god's sakes let him smoke.
1014
01:02:33,000 --> 01:02:34,543
- All right, who's smoking?
1015
01:02:34,752 --> 01:02:35,461
- Quiet, Amos.
1016
01:02:35,669 --> 01:02:37,213
Homer, that gun.
1017
01:02:37,421 --> 01:02:39,173
Doc, the cigarette now.
1018
01:02:39,381 --> 01:02:40,466
Hand it to me.
1019
01:02:41,842 --> 01:02:42,842
- Here's a scalpel.
1020
01:02:42,885 --> 01:02:44,029
- If he takes one puff we're done for.
1021
01:02:44,053 --> 01:02:44,720
- Amos, quiet.
1022
01:02:44,929 --> 01:02:47,014
Homer, you can put that gun away.
1023
01:02:47,223 --> 01:02:49,850
Doctor, I'm gonna walk over there,
1024
01:02:50,059 --> 01:02:51,578
and I'm gonna take that
cigarette away from you.
1025
01:02:51,602 --> 01:02:53,354
- Then you come at your own risk.
1026
01:02:53,562 --> 01:02:54,271
- Take it easy, reverend.
1027
01:02:54,480 --> 01:02:56,023
- Give it to me, doctor.
1028
01:02:56,232 --> 01:02:58,192
- Stay away from me, I warn you.
1029
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:00,110
- I'm coming after that cigarette.
1030
01:03:00,319 --> 01:03:01,479
- Not another step, reverend.
1031
01:03:01,570 --> 01:03:03,489
(All chattering)
1032
01:03:03,697 --> 01:03:04,799
- Nurse, get over here, nurse!
1033
01:03:04,823 --> 01:03:07,409
(All chattering)
1034
01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:15,626
- It's Walter chronic.
1035
01:03:17,836 --> 01:03:19,713
- [Quincey] Walter chronic.
1036
01:03:19,922 --> 01:03:21,924
- [All] Walter chronic.
1037
01:03:22,132 --> 01:03:23,300
- Walter chronic.
1038
01:03:25,636 --> 01:03:27,054
- That's Walter chronic.
1039
01:03:35,187 --> 01:03:38,607
(All chattering)
1040
01:03:38,816 --> 01:03:40,651
- [Quincey] Mr. Chronic.
1041
01:03:40,859 --> 01:03:41,878
- [Amos] It's a great pleasure
to make your acquaintance.
1042
01:03:41,902 --> 01:03:44,071
- [Quincey] Welcome to
our city of eagle rock.
1043
01:03:44,280 --> 01:03:45,364
(All chattering)
1044
01:03:45,531 --> 01:03:46,824
- [Homer] I'm homer.
1045
01:03:47,032 --> 01:03:49,660
(All chattering)
1046
01:04:07,594 --> 01:04:09,638
- [Man] It's David chetley.
1047
01:04:09,847 --> 01:04:11,098
- It's David chetley.
1048
01:04:11,307 --> 01:04:13,225
- It's David chetley.
1049
01:04:13,434 --> 01:04:15,602
- [All] It's David chetley.
1050
01:05:05,819 --> 01:05:07,654
(Gavel pounding)
1051
01:05:07,863 --> 01:05:10,240
- Ladies and gentlemen, please.
1052
01:05:10,449 --> 01:05:13,744
Now, the next order of business
before the town meeting
1053
01:05:13,911 --> 01:05:15,454
is the cutty sark sign.
1054
01:05:15,621 --> 01:05:18,457
Some people seem to feel that
it may be a little too large.
1055
01:05:18,665 --> 01:05:20,042
(Crowd chattering)
1056
01:05:20,250 --> 01:05:21,668
To be Democratic about it,
1057
01:05:21,877 --> 01:05:24,546
let's hear from our new
cold Turkey treasurer.
1058
01:05:24,755 --> 01:05:25,964
Madam treasurer.
1059
01:05:26,173 --> 01:05:28,967
(Crowd applauding)
1060
01:05:29,885 --> 01:05:32,846
- Oh uh, thank you, Mr. Mayor.
1061
01:05:33,055 --> 01:05:34,807
(All laughing)
1062
01:05:35,015 --> 01:05:37,267
Well, the cutty sark people are willing
1063
01:05:37,476 --> 01:05:40,437
to pay a small fortune to
put that sign on the square.
1064
01:05:40,604 --> 01:05:42,523
I have the figures right here some place.
1065
01:05:42,731 --> 01:05:46,777
Oh lord, well listen, I better
give you the total figure.
1066
01:05:46,985 --> 01:05:49,863
Between pabst, Pepsi-cola,
Reed's ice cream,
1067
01:05:50,072 --> 01:05:52,616
seamly, ladenform, and all the others,
1068
01:05:52,825 --> 01:05:57,621
we got a nice $186,000.00 and change.
1069
01:05:57,830 --> 01:06:01,291
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
1070
01:06:01,500 --> 01:06:03,794
Plus, all the members of the council
1071
01:06:03,961 --> 01:06:06,296
are all driving general motors cars.
1072
01:06:07,297 --> 01:06:09,758
- Thank you, madam treasurer.
1073
01:06:09,967 --> 01:06:12,177
Very nice, thank you, thank you.
1074
01:06:12,344 --> 01:06:14,054
Please, please, take it easy.
1075
01:06:14,263 --> 01:06:14,930
All right now,
1076
01:06:15,139 --> 01:06:17,724
I think maybe we'll compromise
on the cutty sark sign,
1077
01:06:17,933 --> 01:06:20,269
and put it off where it
won't be too prominent.
1078
01:06:20,477 --> 01:06:22,479
Now, the next order of business
1079
01:06:22,688 --> 01:06:26,108
is Mr. Douglas truesdale
from Hollywood, California.
1080
01:06:26,316 --> 01:06:27,916
Mr. Truesdale is here seeking permission
1081
01:06:27,943 --> 01:06:31,155
to film his new movie, kiss me, hungry,
1082
01:06:31,363 --> 01:06:33,574
right here in eagle rock, huh.
1083
01:06:33,782 --> 01:06:35,284
(Crowd applauding)
1084
01:06:35,492 --> 01:06:38,871
(Douglas laughing loudly)
1085
01:06:39,746 --> 01:06:42,458
(Whimsical orchestral music)
1086
01:06:42,666 --> 01:06:44,084
- Welcome to eagle rock now.
1087
01:06:44,293 --> 01:06:45,294
Welcome to eagle rock.
1088
01:06:45,502 --> 01:06:47,171
Move 'em on out, move 'em on out.
1089
01:06:47,337 --> 01:06:48,380
Welcome to eagle rock.
1090
01:06:48,589 --> 01:06:50,132
Welcome to eagle rock.
1091
01:06:50,340 --> 01:06:53,635
Non-smoking capital of the
United States of America!
1092
01:06:53,844 --> 01:06:55,204
Right here for inspection, please.
1093
01:06:55,345 --> 01:06:57,473
You gotta be checked to tobacco products.
1094
01:07:03,228 --> 01:07:05,230
- [Homer] Keep it going.
1095
01:07:05,439 --> 01:07:07,399
- Hey chief, where's main street?
1096
01:07:07,608 --> 01:07:08,275
- You're on it, mister.
1097
01:07:08,484 --> 01:07:09,804
Hurry up there, move along there.
1098
01:07:11,195 --> 01:07:12,797
- Looks larger on television, doesn't it?
1099
01:07:12,821 --> 01:07:14,048
- [Homer] Yeah, I noticed that.
1100
01:07:14,072 --> 01:07:15,550
- Where's a good place to spend the night?
1101
01:07:15,574 --> 01:07:16,759
- How many, just the two of you?
1102
01:07:16,783 --> 01:07:17,534
- Yeah, that's right.
1103
01:07:17,743 --> 01:07:20,871
- Yeah, I know a real
farm that will put you up.
1104
01:07:21,079 --> 01:07:23,540
Ah, 15 bucks a head and that
includes juice in the morning.
1105
01:07:23,749 --> 01:07:24,749
There's the address.
1106
01:07:24,833 --> 01:07:26,460
- Thanks, thanks a lot.
1107
01:07:26,668 --> 01:07:29,463
- [Woman] A farm, I'm not gonna
stay on any god damn farm.
1108
01:07:29,671 --> 01:07:32,549
- Tell my wife I'll be home at seven.
1109
01:07:33,509 --> 01:07:36,470
- Right here is where you get
your souvenirs at eagle rock.
1110
01:07:36,678 --> 01:07:38,722
Right over here, come look them over.
1111
01:07:38,931 --> 01:07:39,640
We got everything!
1112
01:07:39,848 --> 01:07:42,059
See what you'd like to take home!
1113
01:07:42,267 --> 01:07:44,245
- [Doll salesman] Step inside
to see the cold Turkey doll.
1114
01:07:44,269 --> 01:07:45,437
She smokes and she talks.
1115
01:07:45,646 --> 01:07:47,064
She talks and she smokes.
1116
01:07:47,272 --> 01:07:48,472
Made right here in eagle rock.
1117
01:07:48,649 --> 01:07:49,900
Get your cold Turkey doll here.
1118
01:07:50,108 --> 01:07:51,360
- [Doll] I love you.
1119
01:07:51,568 --> 01:07:53,237
Smoking gives you cancer.
1120
01:07:53,445 --> 01:07:56,657
- Get your maps of the homes
of the officials of the city.
1121
01:07:56,865 --> 01:07:59,284
These maps will take you
right to the mayor's home.
1122
01:07:59,493 --> 01:08:01,870
They'll take you right
to the minister's home.
1123
01:08:02,079 --> 01:08:03,372
See our famous minister.
1124
01:08:03,580 --> 01:08:05,940
- All right folks, step right
up and have your picture taken
1125
01:08:06,083 --> 01:08:08,961
with one of the great town leaders here.
1126
01:08:09,127 --> 01:08:11,713
They're only a dollar
and a half, two for 298!
1127
01:08:11,922 --> 01:08:13,257
Step right up now!
1128
01:08:13,465 --> 01:08:15,634
We've got mayor wappler
over here on your left,
1129
01:08:15,842 --> 01:08:18,220
and that's Dr. Proctor on the right!
1130
01:08:18,428 --> 01:08:20,268
Step right up folks and
have your picture taken
1131
01:08:20,389 --> 01:08:22,266
with all the great town leaders here!
1132
01:08:22,432 --> 01:08:24,309
- [Harold] Eagle rock, where's you head?
1133
01:08:24,518 --> 01:08:26,436
- [Dennis] Eagle rock's going ape!
1134
01:08:26,645 --> 01:08:27,956
- [Martha] It's all over, over 30!
1135
01:08:27,980 --> 01:08:30,148
- [Harold] Eagle rock, where's your head?
1136
01:08:30,357 --> 01:08:31,942
- [Dennis] Eagle rock's going ape!
1137
01:08:34,027 --> 01:08:36,363
- [Young man] Make sense, not money!
1138
01:08:36,572 --> 01:08:37,590
- [Martha] It's all over, over 30!
1139
01:08:37,614 --> 01:08:40,367
- Harold, Martha, Dennis,
what's going on here?
1140
01:08:40,576 --> 01:08:42,178
Dennis, what do you
kids think you're going?
1141
01:08:42,202 --> 01:08:43,453
- They call it protesting.
1142
01:08:44,663 --> 01:08:45,663
- This is wrong, Dennis.
1143
01:08:45,789 --> 01:08:47,708
I don't understand you kids.
1144
01:08:47,916 --> 01:08:49,334
Eagle rock's moving again.
1145
01:08:50,335 --> 01:08:52,212
It's found itself.
1146
01:08:52,421 --> 01:08:53,714
It's found its pride.
1147
01:08:54,631 --> 01:08:56,150
Don't you realize
everyone stopped smoking.
1148
01:08:56,174 --> 01:08:57,801
Do you the self-sacrifice?
1149
01:08:58,010 --> 01:09:00,429
- Eagle rock, where's your head.
1150
01:09:00,637 --> 01:09:01,221
- This is terrible.
1151
01:09:01,430 --> 01:09:03,724
Do you kids realize there
are TV crews in this town?
1152
01:09:05,475 --> 01:09:08,854
Has your whole generation
lost its sense of civic duty?
1153
01:09:09,062 --> 01:09:12,190
Well, has it, answer me!
1154
01:09:12,399 --> 01:09:13,942
- [Martha] It's all over, over 30!
1155
01:09:14,151 --> 01:09:15,277
(Sign thuds)
1156
01:09:15,485 --> 01:09:18,322
(Light organ music)
1157
01:09:20,907 --> 01:09:25,495
J” o god, our help in ages past j”
1158
01:09:25,704 --> 01:09:29,916
j” our hope for years to come j”
1159
01:09:30,125 --> 01:09:34,755
j” our shelter from the stormy blast j”
1160
01:09:34,963 --> 01:09:38,008
j” and our eternal home j“
1161
01:09:41,136 --> 01:09:42,554
(Letitia giggling)
1162
01:09:42,763 --> 01:09:46,850
J” under the shadow of thy throne j“
1163
01:09:47,809 --> 01:09:50,020
- [Jerry] Okay Bob, let's
clear the head count.
1164
01:09:50,228 --> 01:09:51,563
Ready camera two.
1165
01:09:51,772 --> 01:09:55,734
J” sufficient is thine arm alone j“
1166
01:09:55,942 --> 01:09:59,863
j” and our defense is sure, amen j“
1167
01:10:26,056 --> 01:10:30,977
- My sermon for this morning
is particularly relevant.
1168
01:10:31,186 --> 01:10:32,479
- [Jerry] Hold it, hold it!
1169
01:10:32,688 --> 01:10:33,897
I'm sorry, reverend.
1170
01:10:34,106 --> 01:10:36,525
Arnie, we didn't get a clear
shot of the reverend that time.
1171
01:10:36,733 --> 01:10:38,169
- What, do you wanna take it again, Jerry?
1172
01:10:38,193 --> 01:10:38,860
- [Jerry] Yeah.
1173
01:10:39,069 --> 01:10:41,822
- Okay, ah, all right, rev,
let's take it from the top, huh.
1174
01:10:42,030 --> 01:10:44,032
The oh god, I help in ages pass bit,
1175
01:10:44,241 --> 01:10:45,802
and when you do the spiel at the pulpit,
1176
01:10:45,826 --> 01:10:47,946
can you kinda cheat it to
your right a little, please?
1177
01:10:48,078 --> 01:10:49,454
- This is a church service.
1178
01:10:49,663 --> 01:10:52,040
It was to be photographed
without interruption.
1179
01:10:52,249 --> 01:10:54,376
(Congregation chattering)
1180
01:10:54,584 --> 01:10:56,962
- I know, I know, baby, I
know it was uncouth, okay.
1181
01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:59,756
Hey, settle, hey, hey, hey, boy.
1182
01:10:59,965 --> 01:11:01,133
Hey, you ready, rev?
1183
01:11:01,341 --> 01:11:03,341
- [Jerry] Arnie, get him
off to his right, will ya?
1184
01:11:03,468 --> 01:11:04,468
- All right, Jerry.
1185
01:11:06,972 --> 01:11:08,252
Okay rev, cheat it out this way.
1186
01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:09,617
You can work from the right of the pulpit.
1187
01:11:09,641 --> 01:11:10,641
Good boy, okay.
1188
01:11:11,810 --> 01:11:13,812
Foot and foot.
1189
01:11:14,020 --> 01:11:15,397
Okay folks, this is it.
1190
01:11:15,605 --> 01:11:17,607
Now, everybody rise, up, up, up, up.
1191
01:11:17,816 --> 01:11:18,483
Good group, good group.
1192
01:11:18,692 --> 01:11:20,572
Now look, you're singing
your hearts out, right?
1193
01:11:20,610 --> 01:11:22,446
Now, you dig the hymn and the words
1194
01:11:22,612 --> 01:11:24,252
that the reverend is laying on you, okay?
1195
01:11:24,322 --> 01:11:24,990
So, let's make it real.
1196
01:11:25,198 --> 01:11:26,575
Make it live, all right.
1197
01:11:26,783 --> 01:11:29,244
Ah, Jerry, ah, eagle
rock at work and prayer.
1198
01:11:29,453 --> 01:11:30,954
Pick up one, take one.
1199
01:11:33,415 --> 01:11:36,334
(Light organ music)
1200
01:11:38,628 --> 01:11:43,216
J” o god, our help in ages past j”
1201
01:11:43,425 --> 01:11:48,138
j” our hope for years to come j”
1202
01:11:48,346 --> 01:11:53,101
j” our shelter from the stormy blast j”
1203
01:11:53,310 --> 01:11:56,521
j” and our eternal home j“
1204
01:11:59,274 --> 01:12:02,194
- now, you listen to me, wren,
and you listen to me good.
1205
01:12:02,402 --> 01:12:04,196
It ain't just the Valiant tobacco company
1206
01:12:04,362 --> 01:12:06,072
that's talking to you now, boy,
1207
01:12:06,281 --> 01:12:08,450
or the united tobacco company.
1208
01:12:08,658 --> 01:12:11,077
It's the whole damn tobacco industry.
1209
01:12:12,662 --> 01:12:14,498
Are you listening to me, boy?
1210
01:12:14,706 --> 01:12:17,125
- This cold Turkey crap has
gotten outta hand, mister.
1211
01:12:17,334 --> 01:12:19,920
- Y'all got half the world
praying for eagle rock,
1212
01:12:20,128 --> 01:12:21,481
the other half threatening to quit smoking
1213
01:12:21,505 --> 01:12:22,798
just outta sympathy.
1214
01:12:23,006 --> 01:12:25,050
- And it ain't the 25 million dollars
1215
01:12:25,258 --> 01:12:27,219
we're trying to save now, wren.
1216
01:12:27,427 --> 01:12:29,930
It's every tobacco
company in the business.
1217
01:12:32,057 --> 01:12:33,934
Wren, are you listening to us?
1218
01:12:35,352 --> 01:12:36,352
(Hand thuds)
1219
01:12:36,520 --> 01:12:39,147
- We oughta have our
own observers out there.
1220
01:12:39,356 --> 01:12:41,942
You know, people who
wanna catch those smokers.
1221
01:12:42,150 --> 01:12:44,110
- Wren, how many smokers
were there in eagle rock?
1222
01:12:44,319 --> 01:12:46,029
That's how many observers you'll need.
1223
01:12:46,238 --> 01:12:47,381
I mean, you'll glue one observer
1224
01:12:47,405 --> 01:12:48,782
to every one of them smokers.
1225
01:12:48,990 --> 01:12:50,408
And you hear me good now, wren.
1226
01:12:50,617 --> 01:12:52,828
You catch us a smoker in eagle rock.
1227
01:12:55,997 --> 01:12:57,457
- Bottom line?
1228
01:12:57,666 --> 01:12:59,876
- Wren, if you bottom line me once more,
1229
01:13:00,085 --> 01:13:02,212
I'll choke you with my bare hands!
1230
01:13:03,338 --> 01:13:04,673
- You'll get your observers.
1231
01:13:05,632 --> 01:13:09,052
(Lively orchestral music)
1232
01:13:29,406 --> 01:13:30,883
- What do you mean you were sent here
1233
01:13:30,907 --> 01:13:33,034
to help police this project?
1234
01:13:33,243 --> 01:13:35,203
We don't need your help in eagle rock!
1235
01:13:35,412 --> 01:13:37,372
We got a thing called self-help!
1236
01:13:37,581 --> 01:13:40,876
So, you can just turn this
overgrown coffee pot around,
1237
01:13:41,084 --> 01:13:43,670
and take it back to your big
city and your big government,
1238
01:13:43,879 --> 01:13:46,464
and tell them they know what
they can do with their help!
1239
01:13:46,673 --> 01:13:48,174
- This is a takeover, ain't it?
1240
01:13:48,383 --> 01:13:49,777
- Everything's under control, odie.
1241
01:13:49,801 --> 01:13:51,678
- It's all a big bullshit.
1242
01:13:51,887 --> 01:13:52,887
(Men sneering)
1243
01:13:52,929 --> 01:13:53,597
- Damn it to hell, odie.
1244
01:13:53,805 --> 01:13:56,516
How many times do I have to
tell you to leave my gun alone?
1245
01:13:56,725 --> 01:13:58,369
- Look here fella, we
gotta get through here.
1246
01:13:58,393 --> 01:13:59,436
I've got my orders.
1247
01:13:59,644 --> 01:14:00,770
- No, you got my orders.
1248
01:14:00,979 --> 01:14:02,772
My orders is what you got.
1249
01:14:02,981 --> 01:14:04,524
- Shoot that communist, Amos.
1250
01:14:04,733 --> 01:14:05,942
Better dead than red.
1251
01:14:06,109 --> 01:14:07,777
- Ah, come on, odie.
1252
01:14:07,986 --> 01:14:10,447
- And after what he
done to czechoslovakia.
1253
01:14:10,655 --> 01:14:11,975
- Now, I'm telling you right now.
1254
01:14:23,168 --> 01:14:26,171
- Get your eagle rock balloons
right here, authentic!
1255
01:14:26,379 --> 01:14:27,923
- Get your money now.
1256
01:14:28,131 --> 01:14:29,174
There's not a lot of hats.
1257
01:14:29,382 --> 01:14:30,462
Hey, keep walking, will ya?
1258
01:14:30,634 --> 01:14:31,944
- I got a right to the sidewalk too!
1259
01:14:31,968 --> 01:14:33,011
- Get your hats!
1260
01:15:01,414 --> 01:15:04,334
- Everybody out, come on, everybody out.
1261
01:15:09,798 --> 01:15:11,925
- Of course, of course a
lot has been going on here.
1262
01:15:12,133 --> 01:15:14,928
Eagle rock has been doing
quite well, excuse me.
1263
01:15:15,136 --> 01:15:16,388
- Thank you, reverend.
1264
01:15:17,305 --> 01:15:19,724
- Oh reverend, may I have
my picture taken with you?
1265
01:15:19,933 --> 01:15:22,602
Cliff, come and take our picture.
1266
01:15:25,021 --> 01:15:27,107
- Right here, come on.
1267
01:15:41,329 --> 01:15:43,206
- Reverend Brooks, remember me?
1268
01:15:43,415 --> 01:15:44,517
Colonel Galloway, Washington.
1269
01:15:44,541 --> 01:15:45,333
- Oh, yes.
1270
01:15:45,542 --> 01:15:47,919
- Say, you folks sure
have come a long way.
1271
01:15:49,295 --> 01:15:53,258
The white house wants you to
know it's proud, real proud.
1272
01:15:53,466 --> 01:15:54,134
As a matter of fact,
1273
01:15:54,342 --> 01:15:56,177
we've been wondering how we might tie in,
1274
01:15:56,386 --> 01:15:57,679
oh, to help you, reverend.
1275
01:15:57,887 --> 01:15:59,567
- Well yes, we'll certainly think it over.
1276
01:15:59,681 --> 01:16:00,348
Thank you very much, sir.
1277
01:16:00,557 --> 01:16:02,267
- Oh, but reverend Brooks.
1278
01:16:11,693 --> 01:16:14,529
(Kids chattering)
1279
01:16:30,003 --> 01:16:31,755
- One size fits everybody, reverend.
1280
01:16:31,963 --> 01:16:34,340
You're the guy that started it all.
1281
01:16:47,479 --> 01:16:48,799
- [Bishop manley] Hello, Clayton.
1282
01:16:48,938 --> 01:16:49,939
- Bishop manley.
1283
01:16:50,148 --> 01:16:52,150
- I was just passing through
on my way to Bradford.
1284
01:16:52,358 --> 01:16:55,195
We're laying the foundation
for the new seminary there.
1285
01:16:55,403 --> 01:16:56,988
- Bradford's route 202.
1286
01:16:57,197 --> 01:16:59,657
You must be 30 miles out of your way.
1287
01:16:59,866 --> 01:17:02,118
- When I'm alone I
shall curse my road map.
1288
01:17:06,081 --> 01:17:08,208
I've taken a tour of the town,
1289
01:17:08,416 --> 01:17:09,856
and I've seen what's happening here.
1290
01:17:09,959 --> 01:17:11,279
- Yes, bishop, I, (clears throat)
1291
01:17:11,336 --> 01:17:12,772
I think I know what you're going to say.
1292
01:17:12,796 --> 01:17:15,757
- It's not difficult to recall
the spirit of the community
1293
01:17:15,965 --> 01:17:16,716
the last time I was here,
1294
01:17:16,925 --> 01:17:19,928
but now, this vitality, this energy.
1295
01:17:20,136 --> 01:17:21,763
- This greed, this avarice.
1296
01:17:21,971 --> 01:17:23,223
- This unity of purpose.
1297
01:17:23,431 --> 01:17:25,600
- This anything for a buck.
1298
01:17:28,353 --> 01:17:29,521
- This time magazine.
1299
01:17:36,194 --> 01:17:37,194
It's just out.
1300
01:17:38,363 --> 01:17:40,532
Say we won't lose you to the movies.
1301
01:17:40,740 --> 01:17:41,950
(Clayton chuckles)
1302
01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:45,078
- I tell ya Clayton, in
sports, in scholarship,
1303
01:17:45,286 --> 01:17:47,956
there are many ways to measure success,
1304
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:49,791
but in the god business,
1305
01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:53,837
I can't think of anything bigger
than this, congratulations.
1306
01:17:56,256 --> 01:17:58,258
- Bishop, aren't we forgetting...
1307
01:17:58,466 --> 01:18:00,927
- Certainly, but we've got to look
1308
01:18:01,136 --> 01:18:02,887
at the whole picture, Clayton.
1309
01:18:03,096 --> 01:18:05,932
The church is bigger than
eagle rock, you know?
1310
01:18:06,141 --> 01:18:09,144
There's a whole world out
there that sees nothing,
1311
01:18:09,352 --> 01:18:12,647
but this, this symbol of
practical and moral leadership.
1312
01:18:14,649 --> 01:18:16,484
It is reserved for few to know
1313
01:18:17,610 --> 01:18:19,737
that symbols are sometimes composed
1314
01:18:19,946 --> 01:18:24,200
of two parts dung and
one part inspiration.
1315
01:18:24,409 --> 01:18:26,494
- Yes, well I haven't been stepping in
1316
01:18:26,703 --> 01:18:29,289
much inspiration lately.
1317
01:18:29,497 --> 01:18:31,499
- But, is it fair to deny
1318
01:18:31,708 --> 01:18:34,335
the rest of humanity the inspiration
1319
01:18:34,544 --> 01:18:38,506
simply because your shoes
are a little scuffed?
1320
01:18:50,226 --> 01:18:55,190
Oh, Clayton, you may have
reached your impossible dream,
1321
01:18:55,565 --> 01:18:56,858
dearborn that is.
1322
01:18:59,944 --> 01:19:01,130
- [Picture salesman]
- Get your pictures here
1323
01:19:01,154 --> 01:19:03,740
with one of these great Americans.
1324
01:19:14,083 --> 01:19:16,586
(Footsteps)
1325
01:19:29,849 --> 01:19:32,018
- Clayton, milk and cookies?
1326
01:19:37,732 --> 01:19:38,732
- No, thank you.
1327
01:19:44,155 --> 01:19:46,699
- It's so late, where were you?
1328
01:19:46,908 --> 01:19:49,994
- Where I am now, Natalie,
where I always am, with him.
1329
01:19:55,250 --> 01:19:57,710
- Clayton, I wanna talk to you, Clayton.
1330
01:19:57,919 --> 01:19:59,545
- Natalie, do you wanna talk to me?
1331
01:20:01,172 --> 01:20:02,172
Well, speak up.
1332
01:20:02,882 --> 01:20:04,008
You can always talk to me.
1333
01:20:04,217 --> 01:20:05,218
You know that.
1334
01:20:07,595 --> 01:20:09,764
- No, please, don't turn the light on.
1335
01:20:13,685 --> 01:20:14,685
All right, fine.
1336
01:20:17,563 --> 01:20:22,527
Clayton, about eagle rock.
1337
01:20:22,777 --> 01:20:24,279
- Well, what about eagle rock?
1338
01:20:28,491 --> 01:20:32,829
Natalie, now, what about eagle rock?
1339
01:20:33,037 --> 01:20:34,197
- How will it profit the town
1340
01:20:34,289 --> 01:20:36,457
to gain the whole world
and lose its own soul?
1341
01:20:38,710 --> 01:20:41,045
- You quoted scripture to me.
1342
01:20:41,254 --> 01:20:43,548
Did you hear yourself, Natalie?
1343
01:20:43,756 --> 01:20:45,591
You quoted scripture to me.
1344
01:20:47,427 --> 01:20:49,470
Tried to trap me with my very own words.
1345
01:20:50,972 --> 01:20:53,057
- I thought they were
god's words, Clayton?
1346
01:20:55,810 --> 01:20:58,062
- Now you're trying to
trap me with semantics,
1347
01:20:59,063 --> 01:21:00,565
and you're slouching again, Natalie.
1348
01:21:00,773 --> 01:21:04,610
- No, that won't work this time, Clayton.
1349
01:21:06,529 --> 01:21:08,448
For once I'm standing up to you.
1350
01:21:10,825 --> 01:21:12,827
You know what we've become in this town?
1351
01:21:13,911 --> 01:21:16,080
A pack of monsters.
1352
01:21:16,289 --> 01:21:17,749
You know what that makes you?
1353
01:21:18,583 --> 01:21:20,209
A monster maker.
1354
01:21:21,544 --> 01:21:23,963
There, I've said it.
1355
01:21:25,423 --> 01:21:26,549
- Monster maker, hmm?
1356
01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:28,801
Like who, Natalie?
1357
01:21:29,844 --> 01:21:34,349
The president, Winston
Churchill, like Jonas salk?
1358
01:21:35,350 --> 01:21:39,103
Albert schweitzer, pope
pius, pope Paul, pope John?
1359
01:21:40,480 --> 01:21:43,358
Who else do you know, Natalie,
who made the cover of time?
1360
01:21:58,706 --> 01:22:00,500
Don't slouch, Natalie.
1361
01:22:05,254 --> 01:22:08,216
(Natalie screaming)
1362
01:22:16,557 --> 01:22:19,185
(Car horns)
1363
01:22:26,359 --> 01:22:27,599
- [Amos] Welcome to eagle rock,
1364
01:22:27,777 --> 01:22:31,030
non-smoking capital of the
United States of America!
1365
01:22:31,239 --> 01:22:32,532
Hold it, hold it!
1366
01:22:34,117 --> 01:22:35,719
Wait here for inspection, please, hold it.
1367
01:22:35,743 --> 01:22:39,247
You gotta be checked for tobacco products.
1368
01:23:06,649 --> 01:23:09,569
[Technician] I want camera two
on that highest parallel.
1369
01:23:21,664 --> 01:23:24,584
[Technician] Watch the
camera, watch the camera.
1370
01:23:39,432 --> 01:23:42,310
(Council members chattering)
1371
01:23:42,518 --> 01:23:44,353
- I don't care what you think anymore.
1372
01:23:44,562 --> 01:23:45,938
Reverend, will you please.
1373
01:23:46,147 --> 01:23:47,791
- [Amos] I don't think
that's very funny, quincey.
1374
01:23:47,815 --> 01:23:49,233
- Folks, folks, please.
1375
01:23:49,442 --> 01:23:50,586
- I don't know what she wants
more, a football field...
1376
01:23:50,610 --> 01:23:51,986
- You are trying to tell me
1377
01:23:52,195 --> 01:23:54,822
what a first class high
school needs (chuckles)?
1378
01:23:55,031 --> 01:23:55,698
I say you've got nothing
1379
01:23:55,907 --> 01:23:58,743
unless you have an a-1 theater
and an indoor swimming pool.
1380
01:23:58,951 --> 01:24:00,328
- And I say poppycock.
1381
01:24:00,536 --> 01:24:02,872
My high school didn't have a theater
1382
01:24:03,080 --> 01:24:04,415
or an indoor swimming pool,
1383
01:24:04,624 --> 01:24:06,375
and if I do say so myself,
1384
01:24:06,584 --> 01:24:08,169
I didn't turn out half bad.
1385
01:24:08,377 --> 01:24:11,088
- And you didn't turn
out half good either.
1386
01:24:11,297 --> 01:24:12,733
- Now, what kind of a remark is that?
1387
01:24:12,757 --> 01:24:14,026
I thought we weren't supposed so personal
1388
01:24:14,050 --> 01:24:16,219
in a town council meeting.
1389
01:24:16,427 --> 01:24:20,014
- Now, we have got to
repave around my bank.
1390
01:24:20,223 --> 01:24:21,933
I put in the acquisition.
1391
01:24:22,141 --> 01:24:24,018
- I don't see why I can not have
1392
01:24:24,227 --> 01:24:27,730
an extra $600,000.00 for my high school.
1393
01:24:27,939 --> 01:24:31,108
After all, uh, he's asking
for twice that amount
1394
01:24:31,317 --> 01:24:32,317
for his ridiculous thing.
1395
01:24:32,401 --> 01:24:35,988
- My ridiculous thing happens
to be an americanism center
1396
01:24:36,197 --> 01:24:37,197
right here in eagle rock,
1397
01:24:37,281 --> 01:24:39,200
and I'll tell you this
one thing right now.
1398
01:24:39,408 --> 01:24:41,577
When it comes to my americanism center,
1399
01:24:41,744 --> 01:24:43,496
love it or leave it!
1400
01:24:43,704 --> 01:24:45,540
- How very rude you are, Amos bush!
1401
01:24:45,748 --> 01:24:47,068
Now, I say he's got to apologize.
1402
01:24:47,208 --> 01:24:48,584
(Gavel pounding)
1403
01:24:48,793 --> 01:24:49,544
I want him to apologize to me.
1404
01:24:49,752 --> 01:24:50,336
(Council members chattering)
1405
01:24:50,545 --> 01:24:51,212
- Ladies and gentlemen,
1406
01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:56,217
please, please, this is unworthy of us.
1407
01:24:56,425 --> 01:24:59,053
This is hardly eagle rock behavior.
1408
01:24:59,262 --> 01:24:59,971
- The mayor's right.
1409
01:25:00,179 --> 01:25:00,846
- Thank you.
1410
01:25:01,055 --> 01:25:01,806
- I think it's most important
1411
01:25:02,014 --> 01:25:03,367
for all of us to remember friends,
1412
01:25:03,391 --> 01:25:05,017
that eagle rock has become
1413
01:25:05,226 --> 01:25:07,228
a source of inspiration to this nation.
1414
01:25:07,436 --> 01:25:08,521
- Oh, the world.
1415
01:25:08,729 --> 01:25:10,064
- That's true, and I don't think
1416
01:25:10,273 --> 01:25:12,441
we can start spending 29 million dollars
1417
01:25:12,650 --> 01:25:14,986
when all we're gonna
have is 25, now can we?
1418
01:25:15,152 --> 01:25:17,071
- Now, let's stick with
first things first,
1419
01:25:17,280 --> 01:25:19,991
like the safety and
protection of our citizens.
1420
01:25:20,157 --> 01:25:21,909
- Yes, yes, he's speaking of the new
1421
01:25:22,118 --> 01:25:23,278
four million dollar hospital.
1422
01:25:23,411 --> 01:25:25,538
- The hell you say, I'm talking about
1423
01:25:25,746 --> 01:25:28,708
the new two million dollar police station.
1424
01:25:28,916 --> 01:25:30,167
- No, no, no, there's got to be
1425
01:25:30,376 --> 01:25:31,794
a new four million dollar hospital.
1426
01:25:32,003 --> 01:25:33,146
After what I've been through,
1427
01:25:33,170 --> 01:25:35,298
and I want it named after me too.
1428
01:25:35,506 --> 01:25:36,924
The doctor proctor hoctor.
1429
01:25:37,133 --> 01:25:38,926
The hoctor general proctor.
1430
01:25:39,135 --> 01:25:40,815
The hospitoctor of doctor proctor proctor.
1431
01:25:41,053 --> 01:25:42,573
Doctor proctor hoctor, the
hoctor, the hoctor proctor.
1432
01:25:42,597 --> 01:25:44,432
- Why doesn't he pull himself together?
1433
01:25:44,640 --> 01:25:45,224
- Oh, Wilma, please.
1434
01:25:45,433 --> 01:25:46,183
- It's these last few days,
1435
01:25:46,392 --> 01:25:48,019
they're worst than the first ones,
1436
01:25:48,227 --> 01:25:50,479
just knowing he's gonna
be able to smoke again.
1437
01:25:50,688 --> 01:25:51,748
- Yeah well, the hell with that.
1438
01:25:51,772 --> 01:25:53,772
What about main and elm
for our new police station.
1439
01:25:53,816 --> 01:25:54,483
- Main and elm?
1440
01:25:54,692 --> 01:25:56,795
The new municipal complex is
going out on main and elm.
1441
01:25:56,819 --> 01:26:00,364
(Council members chattering)
1442
01:26:04,577 --> 01:26:05,745
- Folks, folks!
1443
01:26:07,622 --> 01:26:08,622
Can you hold it a second?
1444
01:26:08,789 --> 01:26:10,333
I've got some news.
1445
01:26:10,541 --> 01:26:12,144
I just got off the phone with Washington,
1446
01:26:12,168 --> 01:26:14,211
talking direct to the white house.
1447
01:26:14,420 --> 01:26:16,300
I've been asked to convey
this invitation to you
1448
01:26:16,339 --> 01:26:18,174
from the president himself.
1449
01:26:18,382 --> 01:26:20,593
If you can postpone the
presentation ceremony
1450
01:26:20,801 --> 01:26:22,428
until the day after tomorrow,
1451
01:26:22,637 --> 01:26:24,740
the president says you can
all come down to Washington,
1452
01:26:24,764 --> 01:26:26,223
and be photographed on TV
1453
01:26:26,432 --> 01:26:28,517
right there on the east lawn with him.
1454
01:26:31,854 --> 01:26:33,564
Well, you know, receiving the check.
1455
01:26:36,651 --> 01:26:39,487
Well, how about sharing a split
screen with the president?
1456
01:26:40,613 --> 01:26:41,853
Get a heck of a lot of exposure
1457
01:26:41,906 --> 01:26:43,282
with the president, you know?
1458
01:26:45,034 --> 01:26:48,704
(Council members chattering)
1459
01:26:50,998 --> 01:26:51,707
(Bell tolling)
1460
01:26:51,874 --> 01:26:55,961
(“The stars and stripes forever“)
1461
01:27:46,262 --> 01:27:49,473
- [Man] You can't park here, Mrs.
1462
01:28:00,901 --> 01:28:03,237
- [David] Mr. Grayson, a few
words for our radio audience.
1463
01:28:03,446 --> 01:28:05,448
- No, no, get outta here.
1464
01:28:05,656 --> 01:28:06,782
Well, all I can say, wren,
1465
01:28:06,949 --> 01:28:08,617
is somebody better damn well light up
1466
01:28:08,826 --> 01:28:10,786
within the next 55 minutes,
1467
01:28:10,995 --> 01:28:13,456
because it 12 o'clock
comes and this check goes,
1468
01:28:13,622 --> 01:28:14,957
eagle rock will be a symbol
1469
01:28:15,166 --> 01:28:17,960
that could crush the
whole tobacco industry.
1470
01:28:18,169 --> 01:28:20,049
- Gentlemen, do you wonder
why I'm not panicked?
1471
01:28:20,254 --> 01:28:21,254
It's very simple.
1472
01:28:23,174 --> 01:28:24,759
Hold on to this, and uh,
1473
01:28:24,967 --> 01:28:27,303
keep your eyes on the
big clock on the corner,
1474
01:28:27,511 --> 01:28:30,681
and repeat after me, in wren we trust.
1475
01:28:32,308 --> 01:28:36,353
In wren we trust, in wren.
1476
01:28:36,562 --> 01:28:39,356
(Hiram passes gas)
1477
01:28:40,274 --> 01:28:41,776
- [Balloon man] Balloons, balloons.
1478
01:28:41,984 --> 01:28:44,445
Get your eagle rock balloons right here.
1479
01:29:14,183 --> 01:29:16,977
- Hiya, doc, light your cigarette.
1480
01:29:19,980 --> 01:29:21,565
- Ow!
1481
01:29:28,322 --> 01:29:30,908
- [Woman] I like your boots, Amos!
1482
01:29:43,838 --> 01:29:45,798
- [Man] Hi, Mr. Grayson!
1483
01:29:59,228 --> 01:30:01,355
- Whoa, whoa, hold the band up.
1484
01:30:01,564 --> 01:30:04,024
Hold the band, hold the band up.
1485
01:30:04,233 --> 01:30:08,362
This is, this is important
to all of you, so listen up.
1486
01:30:08,571 --> 01:30:10,447
Now, I've been thinking about what happens
1487
01:30:10,656 --> 01:30:12,783
when it comes 12 o'clock midnight.
1488
01:30:12,992 --> 01:30:14,827
That's in 25 minutes.
1489
01:30:15,035 --> 01:30:17,830
Now, there's two things
that are gonna take place.
1490
01:30:18,038 --> 01:30:19,748
First of all, there's a few of us
1491
01:30:19,957 --> 01:30:22,084
that haven't lost our taste for smokes,
1492
01:30:22,293 --> 01:30:25,254
and when that big hand hits 12, look out!
1493
01:30:25,421 --> 01:30:26,755
(All laughing)
1494
01:30:26,964 --> 01:30:28,674
- [Lady] Tell 'em art!
1495
01:30:30,718 --> 01:30:32,136
- Now, the second this is,
1496
01:30:32,344 --> 01:30:33,637
and, and this is the big one.
1497
01:30:33,846 --> 01:30:35,347
When 12 o'clock hits,
1498
01:30:35,556 --> 01:30:39,602
there's gonna be 25 million
dollars coming to this town.
1499
01:30:39,810 --> 01:30:43,689
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
1500
01:30:44,899 --> 01:30:47,276
I wanna say right here and now
1501
01:30:47,484 --> 01:30:49,987
that I don't like what's
being done with it.
1502
01:30:50,195 --> 01:30:51,614
- [Quincey] Hey, hey, hey!
1503
01:30:51,822 --> 01:30:54,950
- Now, we got 25 million dollars coming,
1504
01:30:55,159 --> 01:30:56,511
and I figure that if you divide it
1505
01:30:56,535 --> 01:30:58,954
among the 4,000 residents of eagle rock,
1506
01:30:59,163 --> 01:31:02,333
it comes to a little
over $6,000.00 a head.
1507
01:31:02,541 --> 01:31:06,337
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
1508
01:31:06,545 --> 01:31:07,838
- Please, please!
1509
01:31:10,215 --> 01:31:12,134
- I don't know about you folks,
1510
01:31:12,343 --> 01:31:15,679
but I got better things
to do with $6,000.00
1511
01:31:15,888 --> 01:31:16,639
than donate it to the city!
1512
01:31:16,847 --> 01:31:18,974
- [Quincey] Please, please,
don't listen to him!
1513
01:31:19,183 --> 01:31:21,518
Please, don't listen, please.
1514
01:31:22,603 --> 01:31:24,063
- It's the communist!
1515
01:31:24,271 --> 01:31:25,991
- [Art] Now, I say we
take a vote right now!
1516
01:31:26,649 --> 01:31:28,289
- [Quincey] Please, listen to me, please!
1517
01:31:28,484 --> 01:31:30,754
- All those in favor to divide
the money among the people,
1518
01:31:30,778 --> 01:31:32,321
raise you hand, raise your hand!
1519
01:31:32,529 --> 01:31:35,783
- [Clayton] No, look folks, please.
1520
01:31:35,991 --> 01:31:38,661
(Crowd chanting)
1521
01:31:40,454 --> 01:31:41,914
Shh, please folks!
1522
01:31:44,416 --> 01:31:45,668
Folks now, please listen to me.
1523
01:31:45,876 --> 01:31:47,962
You mustn't think of yourselves alone.
1524
01:31:48,170 --> 01:31:50,172
We must all think of the common good.
1525
01:31:51,966 --> 01:31:53,509
- The communist is out there.
1526
01:31:53,717 --> 01:31:54,468
- [Amos] What?
1527
01:31:54,677 --> 01:31:57,054
- I seen him, Amos,
he's got a gun and all.
1528
01:31:57,221 --> 01:31:58,263
- Oh, odie!
1529
01:31:58,472 --> 01:32:00,808
- [Clayton] For the $6,000.00 a piece,
1530
01:32:01,016 --> 01:32:02,160
we'll have commerce,
industry, jobs for all!
1531
01:32:02,184 --> 01:32:03,894
- Minneck, be ready on the clock.
1532
01:32:04,103 --> 01:32:05,646
- All set up here, Mr. Wren.
1533
01:32:07,147 --> 01:32:10,234
- In wren we trust, gentlemen, go minneck.
1534
01:32:12,069 --> 01:32:13,988
Bombs away, Brock.
1535
01:32:14,196 --> 01:32:17,241
(Helicopter whirring)
1536
01:32:20,703 --> 01:32:21,453
- Please, folks.
1537
01:32:21,662 --> 01:32:22,246
- What is the big commotion?
1538
01:32:22,454 --> 01:32:24,748
We have discussed the motion.
1539
01:32:24,957 --> 01:32:28,752
- [Woman] Somebody's done
something to the clock!
1540
01:32:31,005 --> 01:32:32,047
- [Quincey] Folks, folks!
1541
01:32:32,214 --> 01:32:33,757
- [Clayton] What's happening?
1542
01:32:33,966 --> 01:32:36,927
Where are those cigarettes coming from?
1543
01:32:37,136 --> 01:32:40,014
- Cigarette, it's 12 o'clock!
1544
01:32:40,222 --> 01:32:42,057
Everyone grab a cigarette!
1545
01:32:42,224 --> 01:32:43,284
- [Quincey] Please, don't smoke!
1546
01:32:43,308 --> 01:32:43,892
- [Clayton] Folks!
1547
01:32:44,101 --> 01:32:44,768
- [Quincey] Please!
1548
01:32:44,977 --> 01:32:45,561
- Light up everyone!
1549
01:32:45,769 --> 01:32:48,105
- [Clayton] Do not smoke, do not smoke!
1550
01:32:48,313 --> 01:32:49,732
It's only 10 minutes to 12!
1551
01:32:49,940 --> 01:32:51,793
- [Quincey] I'm telling you
to put those cigarettes down!
1552
01:32:51,817 --> 01:32:52,943
- Folks, listen to me!
1553
01:32:53,152 --> 01:32:54,653
Please, do not smoke!
1554
01:32:54,862 --> 01:32:56,739
It's only 10 minutes to 12!
1555
01:32:56,947 --> 01:32:58,949
The big clock is wrong!
1556
01:32:59,158 --> 01:33:02,244
- No, no no, big clocks are never wrong!
1557
01:33:02,453 --> 01:33:04,747
- The big clock is wrong!
1558
01:33:04,955 --> 01:33:06,915
- Big, big clocks are never wrong!
1559
01:33:07,958 --> 01:33:09,126
It's the night!
1560
01:33:10,252 --> 01:33:12,212
- [Clayton] Folks, listen to me!
1561
01:33:12,421 --> 01:33:15,966
Its' the devil, Satan, he's testing us!
1562
01:33:16,175 --> 01:33:18,761
He's testing our faith, our vows!
1563
01:33:20,220 --> 01:33:23,640
You must resist the temptation to smoke!
1564
01:33:23,849 --> 01:33:26,185
Something has gone wrong
here, something dire!
1565
01:33:26,393 --> 01:33:27,686
- Put that lighter out!
1566
01:33:27,895 --> 01:33:30,189
- Put those cigarettes away!
1567
01:33:30,397 --> 01:33:31,857
Please, do not smoke!
1568
01:33:32,066 --> 01:33:35,652
- Now, you heard the
reverend, nobody smokes!
1569
01:33:37,446 --> 01:33:38,446
Odie, odie!
1570
01:33:46,497 --> 01:33:47,497
- Folks, listen to me.
1571
01:33:47,581 --> 01:33:50,876
Homer Watson is going to call
the newspaper in lawrenceville
1572
01:33:51,085 --> 01:33:52,252
to get the correct time!
1573
01:33:52,461 --> 01:33:53,980
- [Dr. Proctor] Give
me a light, yes, here.
1574
01:33:54,004 --> 01:33:55,315
- [Clayton] Please, do not smoke!
1575
01:33:55,339 --> 01:33:57,174
Folks, listen to me!
1576
01:33:57,341 --> 01:33:58,008
- Yes!
1577
01:33:58,217 --> 01:33:59,927
- Until homer gets back, don't smoke!
1578
01:34:00,135 --> 01:34:00,719
- [Quincey] Let's wait for homer, please!
1579
01:34:00,928 --> 01:34:01,595
- Do you understand?
1580
01:34:01,804 --> 01:34:04,098
Otherwise, eagle rock
will lose everything!
1581
01:34:04,306 --> 01:34:05,516
- [Quincey] We can't lose!
1582
01:34:05,682 --> 01:34:07,002
- Reverend, he's got a cigarette.
1583
01:34:07,142 --> 01:34:11,021
- My god, folks, whoever's
next to him, stop Dr. Proctor!
1584
01:34:11,230 --> 01:34:12,230
Do not let him smoke!
1585
01:34:12,356 --> 01:34:13,732
- Don't listen to him!
1586
01:34:13,941 --> 01:34:15,526
Let the doctor smoke!
1587
01:34:15,734 --> 01:34:16,401
- Folks, please, please!
1588
01:34:16,610 --> 01:34:17,194
- Doctor!
1589
01:34:17,402 --> 01:34:18,112
- [Quincey] Don't smoke, easy doctor!
1590
01:34:18,320 --> 01:34:18,904
- [Dr. Proctor] That's
it, here, give me that.
1591
01:34:19,113 --> 01:34:19,863
Yes, give me the light.
1592
01:34:20,072 --> 01:34:21,949
- Stay calm!
1593
01:34:22,157 --> 01:34:24,827
Harold, Harold, play something!
1594
01:34:25,035 --> 01:34:27,246
Play something nice and sweet!
1595
01:34:27,454 --> 01:34:28,914
(“Oh, dem golden slippers“)
1596
01:34:29,123 --> 01:34:30,124
Oh, my god!
1597
01:34:30,332 --> 01:34:31,875
Please, don't smoke!
1598
01:34:34,336 --> 01:34:36,713
Homer, homer, get out there.
1599
01:34:36,922 --> 01:34:38,132
Thin out the crowd!
1600
01:34:38,340 --> 01:34:41,927
You've got to stop them from smoking!
1601
01:34:42,136 --> 01:34:43,345
- Has anyone seen Dr. Proctor?
1602
01:34:43,554 --> 01:34:47,516
- Dr. Proctor, Dr. Proctor, where are you?
1603
01:34:47,724 --> 01:34:50,853
- [Dr. Proctor] Watch it, look out.
1604
01:34:51,061 --> 01:34:52,187
- Patience!
1605
01:34:53,856 --> 01:34:54,982
- Dr. Proctor!
1606
01:34:55,190 --> 01:34:57,609
- [Dr. Proctor] Let me have it!
1607
01:34:59,069 --> 01:35:01,029
- Don't smoke, we waited so long!
1608
01:35:01,238 --> 01:35:02,531
We can wait a little more!
1609
01:35:02,739 --> 01:35:04,676
- [Dr. Proctor] Miss, miss,
give me a light, please.
1610
01:35:04,700 --> 01:35:07,035
- [Merwin] Dr. Proctor,
I got your light, doctor!
1611
01:35:07,244 --> 01:35:08,662
- [Dr. Proctor] Please.
1612
01:35:08,871 --> 01:35:11,123
- What's going on here?
1613
01:35:11,331 --> 01:35:13,250
- [Merwin] Doctor, doctor!
1614
01:35:13,458 --> 01:35:15,586
- Where, where, I'm coming.
1615
01:35:17,796 --> 01:35:20,048
- Dr. Proctor, Dr. Proctor!
1616
01:35:20,883 --> 01:35:22,384
Dr. Proctor, stay where you are!
1617
01:35:22,593 --> 01:35:24,052
I'll find you!
1618
01:35:24,261 --> 01:35:25,971
My lighter, my lighter!
1619
01:35:26,180 --> 01:35:27,973
You made me drop my lighter!
1620
01:35:28,182 --> 01:35:31,393
My lighter, don't anyone
step on my lighter!
1621
01:35:31,602 --> 01:35:33,979
- There you are, you communist.
1622
01:35:34,188 --> 01:35:34,980
- Give me my lighter.
1623
01:35:35,189 --> 01:35:35,772
- Now doctor, don't.
1624
01:35:35,981 --> 01:35:38,317
(Gun firing)
1625
01:35:40,527 --> 01:35:43,614
(Dr. Proctor grunting)
1626
01:35:43,822 --> 01:35:45,657
Doc, I don't know what happened.
1627
01:35:45,866 --> 01:35:47,075
- Well, I do.
1628
01:35:47,284 --> 01:35:48,604
I've been shot through the heart.
1629
01:35:48,744 --> 01:35:49,888
- But your clutching your side.
1630
01:35:49,912 --> 01:35:53,081
- I know where I've been
shot, damn it, I'm a doctor.
1631
01:35:53,290 --> 01:35:54,416
(Dr. Proctor moaning)
1632
01:35:54,625 --> 01:35:55,709
- Doc.
1633
01:35:55,918 --> 01:35:57,711
- Yes, reverend.
1634
01:35:57,920 --> 01:35:59,171
- Is there anything I can do?
1635
01:35:59,379 --> 01:36:00,631
- Yes, light me.
1636
01:36:02,591 --> 01:36:04,051
- But, you gotta wait till midnight.
1637
01:36:04,259 --> 01:36:05,969
There's just three minutes left.
1638
01:36:06,178 --> 01:36:07,930
- I haven't got three minutes.
1639
01:36:08,138 --> 01:36:09,431
- Now I've heard everything.
1640
01:36:09,640 --> 01:36:13,310
A minister who won't Grant
a dying man's last request.
1641
01:36:13,518 --> 01:36:15,103
Anybody have a match for a dying man.
1642
01:36:15,312 --> 01:36:17,064
- Why don't you use
this cigarette lighter?
1643
01:36:17,272 --> 01:36:17,856
- That's not a lighter.
1644
01:36:18,065 --> 01:36:19,065
(Gun firing)
1645
01:36:19,191 --> 01:36:21,610
(Crowd jeers)
1646
01:36:24,029 --> 01:36:26,573
- My lighter isn't
anywheres near that loud.
1647
01:36:28,367 --> 01:36:29,367
- Oh, give me the gun.
1648
01:36:29,534 --> 01:36:30,327
He's still moving.
1649
01:36:30,535 --> 01:36:31,119
- That's enough.
1650
01:36:31,328 --> 01:36:31,995
(Gun firing)
1651
01:36:32,204 --> 01:36:32,788
(Woman screams)
1652
01:36:32,996 --> 01:36:33,664
Shooting.
1653
01:36:33,872 --> 01:36:38,168
- [Quincey] Hold it,
hold it, homer is here!
1654
01:36:38,377 --> 01:36:39,962
- It's all a big bullshit.
1655
01:36:40,170 --> 01:36:41,880
- Homer is here, listen, please.
1656
01:36:42,089 --> 01:36:44,091
Hold it, hold it, hold it!
1657
01:36:45,842 --> 01:36:47,928
Homer's got the right time!
1658
01:36:48,136 --> 01:36:52,724
He's got it, it's five, four,
three, two, one, it's over!
1659
01:36:57,104 --> 01:36:58,438
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
1660
01:36:58,647 --> 01:36:59,647
We made it!
1661
01:37:00,399 --> 01:37:04,319
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
1662
01:37:06,571 --> 01:37:07,571
We made it!
1663
01:37:08,448 --> 01:37:10,284
Yes, we made it!
1664
01:37:10,492 --> 01:37:11,994
I got the check, here it is!
1665
01:37:12,202 --> 01:37:12,786
Look at it!
1666
01:37:12,995 --> 01:37:14,413
Oh, it's wonderful!
1667
01:37:14,621 --> 01:37:15,872
25 million dollars!
1668
01:37:16,081 --> 01:37:18,208
- [Dr. Proctor] Please,
you got a match, please?
1669
01:37:18,417 --> 01:37:20,836
- Look, look, we got the check!
1670
01:37:22,754 --> 01:37:24,589
We finally won!
1671
01:37:24,798 --> 01:37:26,883
Look, look here, here it is!
1672
01:37:27,092 --> 01:37:29,219
Here's the check right in my hand!
1673
01:37:29,428 --> 01:37:32,472
Look out, look out, somebody's coming!
1674
01:37:34,933 --> 01:37:37,602
(Sirens wailing)
1675
01:37:47,112 --> 01:37:48,112
We won!
1676
01:37:52,659 --> 01:37:56,038
- Ladies and gentlemen,
ladies and gentlemen!
1677
01:37:56,246 --> 01:37:58,957
Please, may I have your attention?
1678
01:37:59,166 --> 01:38:03,795
Ladies and gentlemen, the
president of the United States.
1679
01:38:04,755 --> 01:38:06,631
- [Woman] In eagle rock?
1680
01:38:06,840 --> 01:38:07,840
What's he doing here?
1681
01:38:08,008 --> 01:38:09,168
- [Odie] It is the president.
1682
01:38:09,343 --> 01:38:12,262
- [Quincey] Oh my god, the
president of the United States.
1683
01:38:12,471 --> 01:38:15,515
("Hail to the chief")
1684
01:38:19,353 --> 01:38:22,773
- Sir, sir, may I, may
I have a light, please?
1685
01:38:22,981 --> 01:38:26,026
("Hail to the chief")
1686
01:38:33,325 --> 01:38:34,034
- [Jerry] The president!
1687
01:38:34,242 --> 01:38:35,636
Now, let's get this shot of the president!
1688
01:38:35,660 --> 01:38:40,540
("Hail to the chief")
(Crowd cheering)
1689
01:38:50,050 --> 01:38:51,530
I don't want his god damn cuff links!
1690
01:38:51,635 --> 01:38:53,762
Get me a shot of the president!
1691
01:38:53,970 --> 01:38:58,850
("Hail to the chief")
(Crowd cheering)
1692
01:39:00,310 --> 01:39:03,897
- He's beautiful, he's here in eagle rock.
1693
01:39:04,106 --> 01:39:08,026
I tell ya, it's beautiful, what an honor.
1694
01:39:08,235 --> 01:39:10,779
- The president wants
you to look up there.
1695
01:39:10,946 --> 01:39:13,698
(Crowd murmuring)
1696
01:39:16,159 --> 01:39:17,702
- [Man] Eagle rock.
1697
01:39:19,121 --> 01:39:21,873
- [Crowd] The future home
1698
01:39:22,082 --> 01:39:24,334
of the Mercury missile plant.
1699
01:39:32,801 --> 01:39:36,805
(Crowd cheering and applauding)
1700
01:39:45,021 --> 01:39:49,985
J” he gives us all his love j“
1701
01:39:51,111 --> 01:39:56,074
j” he gives us all his love j“
1702
01:39:57,576 --> 01:40:02,539
j” he's smiling down on us from up above j”
1703
01:40:04,040 --> 01:40:09,004
j” and he's giving us all his love j”
1704
01:40:10,213 --> 01:40:15,177
j” he knows how hard we tried j”
1705
01:40:16,470 --> 01:40:17,762
j” he hears the babies crying j'
1706
01:40:17,971 --> 01:40:18,971
- Natalie!
1707
01:40:22,809 --> 01:40:27,772
J” he sees the old folks dying j“
1708
01:40:28,899 --> 01:40:33,862
j” and he gives us all his love j'
1709
01:40:35,155 --> 01:40:40,076
j” he gives us all his love j“
1710
01:40:41,369 --> 01:40:46,291
j” he gives us all his love j“
1711
01:40:47,709 --> 01:40:52,631
j” he's smiling down on us from up above j”
1712
01:40:53,965 --> 01:40:58,887
j” and he's giving us all his love j”
1713
01:41:00,138 --> 01:41:05,101
j” now, if you need someone to talk to j”
1714
01:41:07,354 --> 01:41:12,317
j” you can always talk to him j”
1715
01:41:13,735 --> 01:41:18,698
j” and if you need someone to lean on j“
1716
01:41:20,909 --> 01:41:25,830
j” you can lean on him j“
1717
01:41:27,374 --> 01:41:32,337
j” he gives us all his love j“
1718
01:41:33,922 --> 01:41:38,885
j” he gives us all his love j“
1719
01:41:40,554 --> 01:41:45,517
j” he's smiling down on us from up above j”
1720
01:41:47,185 --> 01:41:51,273
j” and he's giving us all his love j”
1721
01:41:56,444 --> 01:41:59,030
(Lion roaring)
120601
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