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1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:03,688
Melissa!
2
00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:06,191
Hey, um, I have to
supervise this quiz,
3
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:07,775
but if you see Mr. Johnson,
4
00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:09,861
can you just let him know
that I may need a spare key?
5
00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,154
I blanked where I put mine.
6
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,572
You better not
lose our house key.
7
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:14,199
My cousin Billy just got out.
8
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,868
But sure, I'll tell
him if I see him.
9
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,661
Hey, if you see Mr. Johnson,
10
00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,371
can you tell him that
Jacob may need a...
11
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:24,834
Dia, tell Mr. Johnson that
Jacob needs to find...
12
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:30,465
Mr. Johnson?!
13
00:00:31,657 --> 00:00:32,675
Janine! Yeah?
14
00:00:32,699 --> 00:00:33,885
Have you seen Mr. Johnson?
15
00:00:33,909 --> 00:00:35,011
Before, yeah. Today, no.
16
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,846
If you do, can you let him know
17
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,223
that Jacob desperately
needs... Man: Make some noise!
18
00:00:39,873 --> 00:00:41,392
Oh, my God. That
sounds time-sensitive.
19
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,016
Okay, yeah. I'll let
him know right away.
20
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,271
Mr. Johnson: There you are.
21
00:00:45,295 --> 00:00:47,982
Wasn't easy, but I got you a
mariachi band for lesson time.
22
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,151
What? I said I may
need a spare key.
23
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,402
I blanked where I put mine.
24
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,904
That's not what I was told.
25
00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:55,031
Also, you need to clean
the upstairs bathroom.
26
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,158
This took a long
time to put together.
27
00:01:14,825 --> 00:01:17,262
Oh, they look so good.
28
00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,180
Come on.
29
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:21,140
Mother's Day has become
very important to me
30
00:01:21,164 --> 00:01:23,476
ever since I lost my
mom a few years ago.
31
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,728
I like to do something
special every year.
32
00:01:25,752 --> 00:01:29,148
And this year, I'm in charge
of the hallway decorations,
33
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,944
so the students can show
appreciation for their moms.
34
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,488
I think the moms are
gonna love these. Mm-hmm.
35
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,198
You know, when I was a
kid, I always made sure
36
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:39,409
I did just enough to stay
in my mom's top five.
37
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,412
Top five? How many
siblings do you have?
38
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,581
Hey, so I got my sisters
Kristin Marie, Marie,
39
00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:47,083
Mary Camille, Maria Christina,
40
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,459
my sister Toni, my brother Tony,
41
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:50,461
John Anthony, and Seamus.
42
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:52,630
It's a different dad.
43
00:01:52,654 --> 00:01:54,674
Barb, do you need me to bring
anything else to the house
44
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,259
on Sunday besides lasagne?
45
00:01:56,283 --> 00:01:58,636
You know I handle
everything for Mother's Day.
46
00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,513
And the only reason I'm
letting you bring the lasagne
47
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:02,640
is because Gerald
won't shut up about it.
48
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,392
If either of you have
a hankering afterward
49
00:02:04,416 --> 00:02:06,602
for bottomless mimosas, I
will be at Mothered Day,
50
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,771
which is a themed drag
brunch over at Rubensteins,
51
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,857
celebrating all of our mothers.
52
00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:12,692
Oh, I wish I could, kid,
53
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:15,945
but I'm going to my mom's after,
and I can't show up drunk.
54
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,989
Mm. It's a family tradition.
55
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:20,116
On Mother's Day, we
get drunk as a family.
56
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,743
Especially Seamus.
57
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,745
So, Janine, what about
you and your sister?
58
00:02:23,769 --> 00:02:25,163
Anything nice planned?
59
00:02:25,187 --> 00:02:27,415
Oh, no, I'll be at
drag brunch, also,
60
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,584
because my mom doesn't like
celebrating Mother's Day.
61
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,377
Says it's her least
favorite holiday.
62
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,963
And my sister's gonna be celebrating
with her dad and stepmom.
63
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:35,632
Oh, you two have different dads?
64
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,300
Of course, they do.
65
00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,301
You thought with that
height difference
66
00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:40,386
they had the same father?
67
00:02:40,410 --> 00:02:42,722
Janine's dad is probably
Kevin Hart or something.
68
00:02:42,746 --> 00:02:43,872
'Cause he short.
69
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:51,522
So, unfun fact, I actually
don't know who my dad is.
70
00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,483
I used to think about it
a lot when I was younger,
71
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:56,110
but then, you know, I
guess I just kinda stopped.
72
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:58,154
And I know Ava was joking,
73
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:02,200
but my mom did know Kevin
Hart in high school.
74
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,077
And we're both really funny.
75
00:03:04,101 --> 00:03:06,454
So... mm.
76
00:03:06,478 --> 00:03:08,915
Hey, Ava, um, please
tell me you got a chance
77
00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,458
to go over the
field trip options.
78
00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,709
If we want to get the
Natural History Museum,
79
00:03:11,733 --> 00:03:13,086
we got to move,
like, ASAP because...
80
00:03:13,110 --> 00:03:15,254
Oh. I forgot to tell
you. Not happening.
81
00:03:15,278 --> 00:03:16,381
We don't have money
for a field trip.
82
00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:18,508
So, what? We just cancel
the trip this year?
83
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:20,051
I would rather die.
84
00:03:20,075 --> 00:03:21,511
My cousin Jamil just
opened a cemetery.
85
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:24,222
This school always finds
a way to disappoint me.
86
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,099
Okay, that's not great.
87
00:03:26,123 --> 00:03:27,225
Well, if you can
figure out a way
88
00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:28,476
to get money for a field trip,
89
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:30,627
then you won't have to
disappoint all of us.
90
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:34,524
Barb, you really nailed this.
91
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,609
Thank you. What?
92
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:39,594
"Thanks, Moms"? What
is that, sarcasm?
93
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,657
Find what matches.
94
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,492
That's how you know
what's gonna rhyme, okay?
95
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,952
Gregory.
96
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,078
Can we talk to you, please?
97
00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:48,996
Uh, yeah.
98
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:51,606
Um, I'll be right back, y'all.
99
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:55,253
Um, is there something you need?
100
00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:58,047
Every other class has
made touching tributes
101
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,841
to their mothers
for the hallway.
102
00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,801
And then I saw yours.
103
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:04,137
Oh, it left much to be desired.
104
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,180
Right, well, I told my
students they could participate
105
00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,265
if they wanted to,
and some of them did.
106
00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:09,267
Oh. Typical guy.
107
00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,436
You know, my brothers phone
it in for Mother's Day, too.
108
00:04:11,460 --> 00:04:14,397
I mean, Tony's got an
excuse. He's locked up.
109
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,399
For a non-violent crime.
110
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:18,860
Don't you want all of your
students to participate?
111
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,069
I mean, think about it.
112
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:21,946
Wouldn't your mom
be disappointed
113
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:23,865
if you didn't do something
special for her this year?
114
00:04:23,889 --> 00:04:27,493
Mm-hmm. Um... no.
115
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,662
Um, because my mom
passed away when I was 9.
116
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:31,581
Oh, Gregory.
117
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,374
I'm... I'm sorry. I-I didn't...
118
00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,418
Why didn't you bring
this up before?
119
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:37,128
There's not a lot
of natural segues.
120
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,088
Like, "Oh, how
was your weekend?"
121
00:04:38,112 --> 00:04:39,380
"My mom died when I was 9."
122
00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:40,631
Okay, well, maybe not that,
123
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,133
but, you know, in that area.
124
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,719
And I know this holiday
must be difficult for you.
125
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:46,053
It's really okay.
126
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:47,597
I usually just stop by Topgolf.
127
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,307
It's Mother's Day, so the
dads are usually busy,
128
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:50,683
so I have the whole
place to myself.
129
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,728
Mr. Eddie, Damien
won't stop poking me.
130
00:04:53,752 --> 00:04:55,146
Excuse me.
131
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,647
What's going on
with y'all today?
132
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,733
Barbara. Oh.
133
00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,359
I cannot sit around
134
00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:03,070
knowing that young man
will be sad and alone
135
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,907
at Topless Golf. Okay,
I think it's Topgolf.
136
00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:08,993
Well, either way, he should join
us for family brunch on Sunday.
137
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:11,120
That is a great idea. Mm-hmm.
138
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,498
And you know what? Actually,
so is Topless Golf.
139
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,816
I mean, give me a warm
climate, I'm down for 18.
140
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:21,422
Hey, you got a sec?
141
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:23,007
Ava says we don't have any
money for a field trip,
142
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,426
but I mean, we can't just...
we can't just give up on it.
143
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,011
How do you start a GoFundMe?
144
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,387
Jacob, you don't think
height is genetic, do you?
145
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:30,264
I mean, like, no
field trip this year?
146
00:05:30,288 --> 00:05:32,058
That is... That
really gets my goat.
147
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:34,185
We just need, like, a
little bit of coin and...
148
00:05:34,209 --> 00:05:35,561
I mean, that'd be
crazy if my dad, like,
149
00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,189
sold out Madison Square
Garden for a comedy show.
150
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,816
Wait, you're not being
serious, are you?
151
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,859
Ava was just being Ava.
152
00:05:41,883 --> 00:05:44,278
Yeah, no, I know, but
153
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:47,198
my mom actually did know
him, so... Oh, really?
154
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,866
Well, why don't you just
call her up and ask?
155
00:05:48,890 --> 00:05:51,577
No, that's too bananas.
156
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,246
Unless...
157
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:55,706
Yeah. Yeah. Sure. Why not?
158
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,625
It is almost Mother's Day.
Okay, you do that thing.
159
00:05:57,649 --> 00:06:00,253
I'm gonna get started
on this thang. Okay.
160
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:08,469
Vanetta: Hey, girl. I'm
just at the hair salon.
161
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:10,888
Oh, hey, Mom. You
actually picked up.
162
00:06:10,912 --> 00:06:14,100
Oh, girl, I gotta save
you as "daughter Janine."
163
00:06:14,124 --> 00:06:16,143
I thought you were
"parole officer Janine."
164
00:06:16,167 --> 00:06:18,062
I'm actually in Canada.
165
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,314
Sure. I'll just get
to the point then.
166
00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,358
Uh, Mom, you said you
went to high school
167
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,944
with Kevin Hart,
right? Sure did.
168
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:27,405
He was the star of
the basketball team.
169
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:29,448
He won the dunk
contest and everything.
170
00:06:29,472 --> 00:06:31,242
Craziest I've ever seen.
171
00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:33,411
Yeah, that is crazy.
172
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:36,372
You two didn't, like,
date, right, or anything?
173
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,666
Date?! Girl, no. I would never.
174
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:40,960
But we did though.
175
00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:42,545
Look, I gotta go.
176
00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,672
Somebody is trying to
put gravy on my fries.
177
00:06:44,696 --> 00:06:47,115
Now, hold up, Jack.
What is this "a boot"?
178
00:06:49,326 --> 00:06:51,470
Look at us standing
all nice and tall.
179
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:52,513
Proud of you.
180
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,725
You guys over
here, don't stress.
181
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:58,936
Life, uh, finds a way.
182
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:01,147
Gregory, I see you
talking to your plants.
183
00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:03,065
It's supposed to
stimulate growth.
184
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,735
Well, I read that the
ones tended to the most
185
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,736
grow the strongest.
186
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,529
It's a delicate balance.
187
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:11,782
Over-watering and over-pruning
can sometimes smother a plant.
188
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,909
Well, I'm having a
Mother's Day gathering
189
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:15,536
at my home on Sunday,
190
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,330
and I would love it
if you would join us.
191
00:07:17,354 --> 00:07:19,415
Oh, it's okay. Really.
I'm good. Tha...
192
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,459
Oh, we're going to
have family and friends
193
00:07:21,483 --> 00:07:23,878
and a spread that
even you will enjoy,
194
00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:26,172
and I won't take
no for an answer.
195
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,633
Okay. Well, I'll be there.
196
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:29,925
Can I bring anything?
197
00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,970
Please don't.
198
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:36,849
Obviously, this means a lot
to Barbara, so I'll stop by.
199
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:39,226
Swing by. Fly by.
200
00:07:39,250 --> 00:07:41,354
The point is, this
is gonna be quick.
201
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,481
So, to find out if Kevin
Hart is actually my dad,
202
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,024
I'm contacting him
on every platform,
203
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:46,233
starting with Venmo.
204
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,152
Love that for us. Mm-hmm.
205
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,320
And you would think I'd
be requesting money.
206
00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:51,614
But no. Actually, I'm
sending him a dollar.
207
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,449
Whoa, what the "H"?
208
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,284
I just got an e-mail
saying that the GoFundMe
209
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,078
for the field trip
has been taken down.
210
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:58,621
"Due to constant
fraudulent activity,
211
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,165
all fundraisers related
to 'Abbott Elementary'
212
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,416
have been suspended."
213
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,251
Damn, they shut it down already?
214
00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:05,544
Abott with one B,
Abbottt with three T's,
215
00:08:05,568 --> 00:08:07,254
and Addington are burned, too.
216
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,714
Burned? Ava, what did you do?
217
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,174
What didn't I do?
218
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,592
You will never understand what
it takes to be a principal.
219
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,221
You could bust out Janine
Teagues Elementary.
220
00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,473
No. No, that's stupid.
221
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,225
Or is it? I can hear you.
222
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:20,643
But you can't stop me.
223
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:22,103
Jacob, why don't you just go
224
00:08:22,127 --> 00:08:23,270
to this week's PTA meeting?
225
00:08:23,294 --> 00:08:24,647
I mean, if they're gonna exist,
226
00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,981
they might as well do something.
227
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,483
Oh.
228
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,610
Oh.
229
00:08:29,634 --> 00:08:31,946
Oh, Melissa Schemmenti,
you are good.
230
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,614
Yeah, what a surprise.
231
00:08:33,638 --> 00:08:35,533
And, Janine, I don't know how
nuts you want to get here,
232
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:38,160
but I do know a guy who
knows Kevin Hart's barber.
233
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:39,203
I introduced him to his wife.
234
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:40,538
Well, now his ex-wife,
235
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,415
but technically,
he still owes me.
236
00:08:42,439 --> 00:08:44,417
We get some of his
hair... run the DNA.
237
00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:46,127
Mr. Johnson:
Barbers. I hate 'em.
238
00:08:46,151 --> 00:08:48,045
Who do you think did this to me?
239
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:50,631
The worst barber of all... time.
240
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:52,717
Melissa, that is demented.
241
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:54,885
I love it.
242
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,846
Look, it drove my
brother Seamus crazy
243
00:08:56,870 --> 00:08:58,305
not knowing who his dad was.
244
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:01,016
That's why he drinks.
And other reasons, too.
245
00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:02,417
And I don't want
that for Janine.
246
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:07,898
Tariq, my man, my dude, my Prez.
247
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:09,567
Hey, I was hoping
we could talk funds
248
00:09:09,591 --> 00:09:11,235
for a potential field trip.
249
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,362
Oh, what's up, Jacob? Oh,
wait. That sounds dope.
250
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,489
I love going on those.
So, you can help fund it?
251
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,116
Oh, no. Unh-unh.
252
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,784
Not with human money.
253
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:21,829
We in the red,
baby. Or the black.
254
00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,293
Which one means a
negative cash flow?
255
00:09:25,106 --> 00:09:26,917
Is that... Is that sushi?
256
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,378
Come on, man. Don't disrespect
Mr. Yanaga like that.
257
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,839
You know damn well
this is nigiri.
258
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:33,799
Don't you think you should
be prioritizing activities
259
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,093
that actually
benefit the students?
260
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,720
Let me break this down for you.
261
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:39,430
We got to level up this food,
262
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,599
make the PTA a club people
actually wanna join.
263
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:43,309
Then boom.
264
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,478
We're gonna hit them with them
higher mandatory donations.
265
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,105
By 2027, quarter four,
we'll be profitable.
266
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,900
Okay, well, I can't wait
until 2027. Quarter four.
267
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:53,486
I was hoping to get something,
like, the end of this year.
268
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:56,322
Best I can offer is some
volunteer chaperones,
269
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,491
transportation, and kanpachi.
270
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,560
Hmm. Get you one of these.
271
00:10:05,688 --> 00:10:06,940
Good, ain't it?
272
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,110
Kanpai, Yanaga-san.
273
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,381
Welcome, Gregory.
274
00:10:14,405 --> 00:10:16,759
I'm so happy you could make it.
275
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:18,719
Niecey, come down!
276
00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:20,262
You know my husband.
277
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:23,057
Melissa, I told you
I will handle that.
278
00:10:23,081 --> 00:10:24,308
She's been like this all day.
279
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,227
Honestly, she's been
like this every holiday
280
00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:28,104
since her mom passed.
I told you I got it.
281
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:29,605
Can you take the macaroni
and cheese out the oven?
282
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,065
Right. In a moment.
283
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:34,485
Everybody, please
welcome Gregory,
284
00:10:34,509 --> 00:10:36,487
who's going to be spending
Mother's Day with us
285
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,989
because he had no place
else to go. Not true.
286
00:10:39,013 --> 00:10:40,616
I did have somewhere
else to go and still do.
287
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,785
He's going to be a part
of our family today
288
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,578
because there was no
way that I could let
289
00:10:44,602 --> 00:10:46,747
a fellow child of bereavement
290
00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:49,542
spend this day alone,
isn't that right?
291
00:10:49,566 --> 00:10:51,877
Aunt Barbara, I need
help with baby Maya.
292
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:54,338
Alright, niecey.
293
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,423
So sorry for your loss.
294
00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,758
It's okay. It was
over 20 years ago.
295
00:10:57,782 --> 00:10:58,968
Are your family huggers?
296
00:10:58,992 --> 00:10:59,886
No.
297
00:10:59,910 --> 00:11:01,679
Well, we are here.
298
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,264
Oh, okay.
299
00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:05,558
Mm.
300
00:11:05,582 --> 00:11:06,976
Thank you.
301
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,561
Th-Thanks.
302
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,687
Mm-hmm.
303
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,148
Oh, hey, Taylor.
304
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,650
This is my ex, Gregory.
305
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,277
Gregory.
306
00:11:16,301 --> 00:11:18,195
Nice to meet you.
307
00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:20,698
And your grief is Paul's grief.
308
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:23,576
Oh, more touching. Okay.
309
00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:24,642
Okay.
310
00:11:25,351 --> 00:11:26,352
Thank you.
311
00:11:28,563 --> 00:11:30,624
♪ Quite another mess ♪
312
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:32,459
♪ And Mama used to say ♪
313
00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:35,004
♪ "Take your time, young man" ♪
314
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:36,422
♪ And Mama used to say ♪
315
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:39,133
Hey, y'all are ruining drag
brunch for me. I'm sorry.
316
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:40,467
It's just that any
second, I could find out
317
00:11:40,491 --> 00:11:41,677
if Kevin Hart is my dad.
318
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,512
It's giving me a heart attack.
319
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,806
Pun very much intended
and pre-planned.
320
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,433
My fingers are crossed, girl.
321
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,560
'Cause I could finally pitch
him my idea for "Get Hard 2."
322
00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:52,271
Pbht. Come on. You wouldn't
make a sequel to "Citizen Kane."
323
00:11:52,295 --> 00:11:54,356
Move over. There's no
seats left anywhere.
324
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,983
Ava, what are you doing here?
325
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,194
My friend Lisa Condo is
the best drag queen here.
326
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,320
Hey. Hey, girl.
327
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:02,698
Hey. Is your house
hunt dragging you down?
328
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,786
Still no luck on the field
trip, huh? How am I gonna
329
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,371
look the children in the
eye the rest of the year?
330
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:11,707
I have failed them.
Jacob, you have no money,
331
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,584
no help, and a
hard-headed principal.
332
00:12:13,608 --> 00:12:15,461
Cheer up. It's gonna get
worse before it gets worse.
333
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:18,297
What's wrong with you?
334
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:20,674
She waiting to find out if
Kevin Hart is her daddy.
335
00:12:20,698 --> 00:12:22,635
Damn. My words really
have meaning, huh?
336
00:12:22,659 --> 00:12:25,328
I should be more reckless.
337
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,349
Barbara, where do
you keep the Clorox?
338
00:12:28,373 --> 00:12:29,683
Baby Maya got sick.
339
00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,101
I will get it in
a second, Alicia,
340
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,169
but please take a seat.
341
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,814
Alright, everyone.
342
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:38,275
Before we feast,
343
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:42,363
we are going to lift up our
brother Gregory Eddie in prayer.
344
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:44,490
Mm-hmm. We'll put
healing hands on him.
345
00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,825
Oh. Oh, no, no, no. No,
we don't need to do that.
346
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,869
Barbara: Alright, please.
347
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:51,538
Everybody, bow your heads,
348
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:53,147
and close your eyes.
349
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:59,672
Father God, we are gathered
here to celebrate mothers,
350
00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,676
and also to empower
Gregory Eddie.
351
00:13:03,700 --> 00:13:05,177
Yes, Lord. Mm.
352
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:07,388
Please, Father, watch over...
353
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,722
What was your mother's name?
354
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,957
That's not necessary.
Oh, sure, it is.
355
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,937
It was, um... Faith.
356
00:13:14,961 --> 00:13:16,647
Here we go. Mm. Faith.
357
00:13:16,671 --> 00:13:19,608
Faith, the substance
of things hoped for
358
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,403
and the evidence
of things unseen.
359
00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:23,570
Yes, Lord.
360
00:13:23,594 --> 00:13:25,030
And just because
he cannot see Faith
361
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,032
doesn't mean he doesn't have
faith that Faith is with him.
362
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:28,450
Faith. Taylor: Ooh. Yes, Lord.
363
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:30,619
Um... I gotta go.
364
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:31,996
God is watching.
365
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:34,540
Tee time. Close your eyes.
366
00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:35,916
Father God, we are asking
367
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:40,546
that you hold him close
in your deepest bosom,
368
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:43,590
since his mother is not
here to do it herself.
369
00:13:43,614 --> 00:13:45,592
Yes, Lord, hold him tight, Lord.
370
00:13:45,616 --> 00:13:47,386
Amen. Yes, Lord. Thank you.
371
00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:48,679
There it is. Uh-huh.
372
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,597
This was great. Fantastic.
373
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,725
Thank you so much.
374
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,709
Uh... excuse me.
375
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,108
Gregory.
376
00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:04,028
Gregory, where are you going?
377
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,404
I'm sorry. I
appreciate everything.
378
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,905
Your family is lovely.
379
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:08,282
I wanted to stop by
for a bit, and I did.
380
00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,700
Now I have to head
off to Topgolf.
381
00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:12,828
It's Mother's Day. You need
to be around community.
382
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,538
No, I need to be alone,
hitting golf balls.
383
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,957
Oh, that's so sad. It's not.
384
00:14:16,981 --> 00:14:18,208
Having to talk
about my dead mother
385
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,626
over and over again is sad.
386
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:21,920
But we're honoring
her. It's tradition.
387
00:14:21,944 --> 00:14:25,299
It's your tradition, not mine.
388
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:26,323
Thank you for having me.
389
00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:38,604
♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪
390
00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:40,773
Can you imagine if
Kevin Hart is my dad?
391
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,232
Oh, no.
392
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,358
Are people gonna
think I got my job
393
00:14:43,382 --> 00:14:44,735
because I'm a nepo baby?
394
00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:47,029
♪ She's a bad mama jama ♪
395
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,405
Oh, my God. It's the DNA guy.
396
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,365
If he is your dad, you two
should buy a trench coat,
397
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,493
so you could go
to R-rated movies.
398
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,911
Well, aren't you gonna open it?
399
00:14:53,935 --> 00:14:55,370
Mm-hmm. Okay. Open
the e-mail, Janine.
400
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:56,455
And read with some flair.
401
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:58,332
Okay.
402
00:14:58,356 --> 00:15:01,835
"When it comes to 27-year-old
Janine Teagues, Kevin Hart
403
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:03,796
is not the father."
404
00:15:03,820 --> 00:15:05,923
Whoo! That's right.
405
00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:07,216
Lock up that frown, doll.
406
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,675
The girls are doing kicks!
407
00:15:08,699 --> 00:15:10,118
Sorry, Janine. Sorry, girl.
408
00:15:11,452 --> 00:15:12,679
I'll get us a round.
409
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:19,019
And watch over Barbara, Lord.
410
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,814
She lost her mother
some years ago.
411
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,524
Please bring peace
to her troubled soul.
412
00:15:23,548 --> 00:15:24,858
Mm-hmm. Let her grieve today.
413
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,319
Hallelujah, amen. All: Amen.
414
00:15:27,343 --> 00:15:28,612
Now, let's dig
in. Melissa: Okay.
415
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,615
Oh, the pie! Let me help, Barb.
416
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:35,619
I got it, Melissa. I got it.
417
00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:39,998
Oh!
418
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:42,167
Ooh. I think it's overcooked.
419
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,128
It's perfect, Barb.
420
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,504
Something happen with Gregory?
421
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,172
No, he just had
to go. That's all.
422
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,925
Mom, are you okay?
423
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,176
I'm okay.
424
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:52,553
Because, you know, today's a lot
425
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,138
for one person to shoulder.
426
00:15:54,162 --> 00:15:56,431
And, Mom, today
is about you, too.
427
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,517
If you need a moment,
just take a moment.
428
00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:00,126
Yeah. We got this.
429
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,232
Maybe you're right. Yeah.
430
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:07,049
Baby puke will be here
when you get back.
431
00:16:08,676 --> 00:16:10,469
I'm kidding. I'll have
someone clean it up.
432
00:16:11,721 --> 00:16:13,699
Sometimes we can put an
immense amount of pressure
433
00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:16,243
on ourselves to host
the perfect gathering,
434
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:19,270
to feel a certain way.
435
00:16:20,354 --> 00:16:25,276
And quite frankly, sometimes
it's just overwhelming.
436
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,589
You enjoying the show?
437
00:16:28,613 --> 00:16:30,031
Definitely.
438
00:16:32,116 --> 00:16:34,136
Oh, I... I only have fives left.
439
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,059
Thank you.
440
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:42,686
Well, if you enjoyed this,
441
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,146
you should come and
check out our performance
442
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,272
of "A Midsummer Night's Queen"
443
00:16:45,296 --> 00:16:47,733
for our upcoming
Shakesqueer In The Park.
444
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,067
Entry's always free.
445
00:16:49,091 --> 00:16:51,528
♪ Keep it coming,
don't stop, mama ♪
446
00:16:51,552 --> 00:16:53,030
♪ Give it to me ♪
447
00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,367
Hey, you was fine before you got
448
00:16:57,391 --> 00:16:59,203
all this nonsense
in your head, right?
449
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:02,623
Yeah, it's just it would've
been nice to finally know.
450
00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:05,375
I don't know who my dad
is, and I turned out fine.
451
00:17:05,399 --> 00:17:06,627
Literally, look at me.
452
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:07,961
Ava: Exactly.
453
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,755
Janine, you'd rather have no dad
454
00:17:09,779 --> 00:17:10,881
than a neglectful one.
455
00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,299
Trust me. Erika: True.
456
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,550
I mean, look at you.
457
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,010
How far you've made it?
458
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,637
How beautiful your
best friend is.
459
00:17:16,661 --> 00:17:19,640
Kevin Hart or any daddy
wouldn't have changed that.
460
00:17:19,664 --> 00:17:23,209
Yeah. You're still Janine,
and that's not too bad.
461
00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:28,106
You know, your parents
don't define who you are.
462
00:17:28,130 --> 00:17:32,152
I'm happy, and I
stand on my own.
463
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:35,489
I mean, I literally had to
learn how to stand on my own.
464
00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:37,532
Houston, we have liftoff!
465
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,159
We are having a field trip!
466
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,078
We're going to NASA? What? No.
467
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:42,621
Okay, what's the field trip?
468
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,915
Museums are nice, but kids
can have fun anywhere.
469
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:46,583
They don't need
some expensive trip.
470
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,710
So, I was thinking Smith
Memorial Playground.
471
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,462
It's free. Yes.
472
00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,464
And schools take field
trips there all the time.
473
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:55,008
Ooh, that big wooden
slide. Okay, NASA can wait.
474
00:17:55,032 --> 00:17:56,969
And Tariq said the
PTA could chaperone.
475
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,095
Ha! I have figured it out.
476
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,846
Boom! I've done it again.
477
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:01,473
Is there no mountain too high?
478
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:04,309
Okay, the only problem is we
need to reserve it, like, now.
479
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:06,311
Oof! They are popular,
480
00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,814
and we need to make reservations
for the entire school.
481
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:11,316
Erika: What you gonna do?
482
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,194
Maybe we could, like...
Ava, if you could...
483
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:15,362
Oh, no.
484
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:17,489
Attention, everyone!
485
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:25,146
Queens unite!
486
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,751
Hi, everyone.
487
00:18:29,775 --> 00:18:32,087
Um, listen, we need your
help to reserve a park.
488
00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,258
Wait, wait! For...
For children in need.
489
00:18:36,282 --> 00:18:38,176
Yeah. Yeah.
490
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,845
So, everyone, get on your phones
491
00:18:39,869 --> 00:18:41,596
and start reserving
beaucoup slots
492
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,724
at Smith Memorial Playground,
and forward them over.
493
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:45,267
Yeah, you heard her!
494
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,019
If you wanna see
these hip vibrations,
495
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,478
you better make
them reservations.
496
00:18:48,502 --> 00:18:51,231
We're a good team.
So, shantay, you stay.
497
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,733
Okay. And, Jacob, you come.
498
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,484
You want to get off
the stage? Yeah.
499
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:55,610
I feel like you should probably
get off the stage. Thank you.
500
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:57,595
You should come on.
501
00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:13,712
This isn't as sad as I thought.
502
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:16,089
Barbara, I'm not going
back to your house.
503
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:17,591
I know, I know.
504
00:19:17,615 --> 00:19:19,384
I came to apologize.
505
00:19:19,408 --> 00:19:21,553
You were just trying to make
sure that I felt included.
506
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:23,638
My mother was the same way,
507
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:26,058
always trying to make sure
that everyone was happy.
508
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:27,768
She sounds like a
wonderful person.
509
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:30,395
She was the best.
510
00:19:30,419 --> 00:19:32,731
You know, on this day, everyone
will always ask me about her,
511
00:19:32,755 --> 00:19:35,609
and they mean well, but
it's the unexpected moments
512
00:19:35,633 --> 00:19:37,861
on random days. Yeah.
513
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:41,782
I don't need Mother's Day
to remind me to love my mom.
514
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,660
I can understand that.
515
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,703
The other day, I was in a funk.
516
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:50,374
And one of my students came up
and made a funny face at me.
517
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:52,918
My mother used to
do the same thing,
518
00:19:52,942 --> 00:19:56,463
always reminding me not to
take life too seriously.
519
00:19:56,487 --> 00:19:57,988
I love that.
520
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:00,676
And now, if you will excuse me,
521
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:04,179
I am going to swing
a few home runs.
522
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,914
I'll leave you to it.
523
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,482
All I'm saying is I
love bottomless mimosas.
524
00:20:15,506 --> 00:20:16,817
Why can't I be a part
of the Brunch Squad?
525
00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:17,943
Well, it's actually
the Brunchy Bunch,
526
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:19,319
but you know what?
527
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:20,696
Next time you're coming, okay?
528
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,280
I told her to invite you.
529
00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:23,865
Janine never ceases
to disappoint.
530
00:20:25,641 --> 00:20:28,453
Who is this? Hmm.
531
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:31,206
Oh, my God. Kevin Hart.
532
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,749
Ava: Kevin Hart? Oh, my God.
533
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,543
You doing Cameos now? Damn.
534
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:35,585
The game is crazy.
535
00:20:35,609 --> 00:20:36,878
So, you're Janine Teagues?
536
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,338
Yeah. Yes. Okay.
537
00:20:38,362 --> 00:20:40,924
Why... Why have you been
harassing me on social media?
538
00:20:40,948 --> 00:20:44,845
Oh, um, so, I am so sorry
about that, Mr. Hart.
539
00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:48,682
Um, it's just that I thought
that maybe you were my dad.
540
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:50,183
Why would you think
that? Ava: Yeah.
541
00:20:50,207 --> 00:20:51,518
Why the hell would
you think that?
542
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,311
Well, it's... it's because, um,
543
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:54,896
you know, my mom, she
said that you guys
544
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,523
went to high school together,
545
00:20:56,547 --> 00:20:58,483
and that you guys
intercoursed each other.
546
00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:01,027
And, um, her name is
Vanetta. You familiar?
547
00:21:01,051 --> 00:21:03,155
Oh Vanetta. Yeah.
548
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:06,074
I promise you it wasn't
me, 'cause I strap up.
549
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:08,326
Always have. So, unfollow
me. Alright, will do.
550
00:21:08,350 --> 00:21:09,744
On everything. Sorry.
551
00:21:09,768 --> 00:21:10,954
Okay. Okay.
552
00:21:10,978 --> 00:21:12,622
Oh Mr. Johnson!
553
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:14,624
Yeah.
554
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:16,293
Great to see you
again, my brother.
555
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:20,213
Yeah, Mr. Johnson also...
he works here with me.
556
00:21:20,237 --> 00:21:21,673
I don't want to talk to
you. Oh, okay. Alright.
557
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:23,407
I don't want to talk
to you. Okay. Bye.
558
00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:28,537
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