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1
00:00:03,963 --> 00:00:08,361
I love "24."
But it's so unrealistic
2
00:00:08,361 --> 00:00:12,251
I mean, it's 2 PM and
he hasn't even peed yet
3
00:00:13,235 --> 00:00:15,568
I've gone twice just watching it
4
00:00:16,991 --> 00:00:18,282
Woof!
5
00:00:18,564 --> 00:00:21,375
When did Kiefer Sutherland get so hot?
6
00:00:21,375 --> 00:00:23,383
He didn't, sweetie...
7
00:00:26,599 --> 00:00:27,604
Hey!
8
00:00:27,604 --> 00:00:30,241
What the hell did you two Mork
and Mindy looking sons of bitches do
9
00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:31,979
to my cousin Barry?
10
00:00:34,128 --> 00:00:36,416
You're supposed to help himbe gay but you didn't finish
11
00:00:36,416 --> 00:00:38,034
The poor kid's so confused
he's sitting at home
12
00:00:38,034 --> 00:00:41,491
on the couch watching football
in a spandex onesie
13
00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:44,335
We just got started
14
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,967
This is a guy who 24 hours ago
thought that Batman and Robin
15
00:00:46,967 --> 00:00:50,787
just fought crime together / Okay
16
00:00:51,574 --> 00:00:53,194
We're makin' progress
17
00:00:53,194 --> 00:00:54,728
Yeah, well, step it up
18
00:00:54,728 --> 00:00:57,588
The Human Rights
Campaign gala is in a month
19
00:00:57,588 --> 00:01:00,003
It's the social event
of the gay season
20
00:01:00,003 --> 00:01:03,779
Well, next to the Republican
National Convention
21
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:07,956
- And I want Barry to be ready for it
- Karen, he's 20 pounds overweight
22
00:01:07,956 --> 00:01:12,047
he shops at Miller's Outpost
and he has a beard
23
00:01:12,399 --> 00:01:14,988
I don't mean "taking your mother
to the Academy Awards" kind of beard
24
00:01:14,988 --> 00:01:17,530
I mean actual facial hair
25
00:01:19,786 --> 00:01:21,978
- He's right, Kare
- Can't be done
26
00:01:21,978 --> 00:01:24,398
Homo wasn't built in a day
27
00:01:26,735 --> 00:01:27,877
Huh...
28
00:01:27,877 --> 00:01:29,243
Well, that's too bad
29
00:01:29,759 --> 00:01:32,832
'Cause I was, uh, going through
my jeans this morning
30
00:01:32,832 --> 00:01:36,209
and I found 20 grand
in that little pocket
31
00:01:37,122 --> 00:01:38,446
And I was thinking that
32
00:01:38,446 --> 00:01:42,767
you guys could use that to bankroll
this whole operation and, uh
33
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:47,024
keep whatever's left over
for yourselves, but, oh, well
34
00:01:51,495 --> 00:01:55,015
Can-- Would you just
excuse us for a second?
35
00:02:21,521 --> 00:02:22,516
We'll do it
36
00:02:22,516 --> 00:02:24,760
And I'm sorry you had to see that
37
00:02:26,299 --> 00:02:27,635
Hello
38
00:02:27,635 --> 00:02:30,075
Grace! Did you just get in?
How was your flight?
39
00:02:30,075 --> 00:02:33,332
I live in Brooklyn
I took the subway
40
00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:38,051
Right, right, right
So what was the in-flight movie?
41
00:02:39,598 --> 00:02:43,681
Well, a smelly guy in Army
fatigues did a dance for me
42
00:02:43,681 --> 00:02:46,841
I love that guy
He taught me this move
43
00:02:53,272 --> 00:02:56,327
Why do homeless guys
always wear Army stuff?
44
00:02:56,327 --> 00:03:00,912
Never the Navy, never a nice
pea coat, or a sailor hat
45
00:03:07,092 --> 00:03:10,506
Anyway, I just wanted to give
you guys a heads-up
46
00:03:10,506 --> 00:03:13,631
Leo and I are having
a housewarming party
47
00:03:13,631 --> 00:03:15,602
Now don't freak out about
getting us a present
48
00:03:15,602 --> 00:03:20,303
Don't go running from store to store
'Cause everything I want is on this list
49
00:03:21,137 --> 00:03:23,104
I'm not getting you another present
50
00:03:23,104 --> 00:03:26,102
I haven't even got a thank-you note
for the two wedding gifts I got you
51
00:03:26,102 --> 00:03:28,397
Well, we need more stuff
What can I tell you?
52
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,732
Oh, honey, I'd love to go!
53
00:03:30,732 --> 00:03:33,447
Oh, Brooklyn in the winter
54
00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:37,115
Oh, you know what
I'm gonna use my miles!
55
00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:42,116
�� & ���̽�
5���� ���Ǽҵ� 14
(Fagmalion Part Two ;
Attack Of The Clones)
56
00:03:42,116 --> 00:03:46,255
���� �뺻 : http://www.durfee.net/will/
57
00:03:46,255 --> 00:03:49,211
��ũ : �̼���(blackmoon80@nate.com)
��Ʈ : �̼���(memarun@nate.com)
58
00:03:49,211 --> 00:03:53,020
�ڸ� ���� - ����Ʈ ��� 24 �ڸ���
(http://club.nate.com/24)
Will & Grace �ڸ���
59
00:03:57,391 --> 00:03:58,365
Karen?
60
00:03:58,365 --> 00:04:00,418
Did you sync up
my Palm Pilot?
61
00:04:00,418 --> 00:04:01,591
I sure did, honey
62
00:04:01,591 --> 00:04:04,716
I also optimized your hard drive
and traced that printer problem
63
00:04:04,716 --> 00:04:07,641
to a bad ethernet cable
64
00:04:08,873 --> 00:04:11,053
Have I been drinking?
65
00:04:12,608 --> 00:04:15,433
Come on, now
honestly, honey
66
00:04:15,433 --> 00:04:18,289
I'm a little more together than you think
67
00:04:18,289 --> 00:04:20,444
Hey, hey
Anyone order a cookie bouquet?
68
00:04:20,444 --> 00:04:24,059
The talking cookies!
They're baaack!
69
00:04:27,394 --> 00:04:29,583
Sure, they talk
70
00:04:29,583 --> 00:04:32,015
But do they listen?
71
00:04:32,750 --> 00:04:33,954
Honey
72
00:04:33,954 --> 00:04:34,954
What are you doing here?
73
00:04:34,954 --> 00:04:37,115
I thought you were elbow
deep in someone's colon
74
00:04:37,115 --> 00:04:38,236
Yeah
75
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:41,117
But then the office party
ended. So...
76
00:04:43,186 --> 00:04:46,852
Listen, I got some bad news
I don't think we can do that
77
00:04:46,852 --> 00:04:49,339
- housewarming thing this weekend
- No, I told you
78
00:04:49,339 --> 00:04:51,031
When people complain about
having to give another gift
79
00:04:51,031 --> 00:04:54,235
you say that their first
one never arrived
80
00:04:54,615 --> 00:04:55,589
The thing is...
81
00:04:55,589 --> 00:04:57,021
Do you remember the other day
82
00:04:57,021 --> 00:05:00,316
I saw you in the kitchen in
that mid-afternoon light
83
00:05:00,316 --> 00:05:03,480
I said, "Man, you are
the most beautiful woman in the world"
84
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,722
"How did I get so lucky?"
85
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,244
- Yeah
- Yeah
86
00:05:07,244 --> 00:05:10,586
I'm going to Africa for a month
I leave on Friday / What?!
87
00:05:11,249 --> 00:05:13,965
No, you're--
you're-- What?
88
00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:15,720
Doctors Without Borders called
89
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:19,069
That clinic I helped set up last summer
they're way understaffed
90
00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:22,760
There's a virus and a vaccine
And I have to be there
91
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:26,518
Plus they think I'm on "ER".
92
00:05:28,848 --> 00:05:31,807
I can't believe they're having
a viral outbreak the same weekend
93
00:05:31,807 --> 00:05:34,060
as our housewarming party
94
00:05:35,236 --> 00:05:38,135
Why do these things
always happen to me?
95
00:05:39,247 --> 00:05:40,692
I'm sorry, baby
96
00:05:41,556 --> 00:05:42,698
I know
97
00:05:43,648 --> 00:05:46,507
- I'm just gonna miss you
- I know. I'm gonna miss you too
98
00:05:46,507 --> 00:05:48,981
We can talk more about it later
99
00:05:48,981 --> 00:05:51,947
I gotta go pick up some toys
100
00:05:51,947 --> 00:05:55,400
I fathered, like, ten kids in that village
If I show up empty-handed
101
00:05:55,400 --> 00:05:58,115
there will be hell to pay
See ya
102
00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:07,361
Honey...
are the cookies gone?
103
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,099
Okay, so we're clear on this, right?
104
00:06:12,099 --> 00:06:13,711
You're gonna be
in charge of Barry's body
105
00:06:13,711 --> 00:06:15,663
I'm gonna work on his mind
106
00:06:15,663 --> 00:06:19,787
Things like gay culture, gay politics
driving up the cost of real estate
107
00:06:19,787 --> 00:06:21,999
in affordable areas
108
00:06:22,888 --> 00:06:29,637
Okay. But if you have his mind
and I have the body, who gets the hair?
109
00:06:29,637 --> 00:06:34,187
'Cause it grows out of the mind
but it's still kinda part of the body
110
00:06:36,340 --> 00:06:37,958
That's a very good question
111
00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:41,546
And that makes me feel even better
about being in charge of the mind
112
00:06:42,389 --> 00:06:45,709
- We'll save the hair for last
- Okay, okay, okay
113
00:06:46,076 --> 00:06:49,436
This is a huge project
114
00:06:50,625 --> 00:06:56,701
It's such an awesome responsibility
to think of someone other than myself
115
00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:02,250
I'm a good person
116
00:07:04,687 --> 00:07:06,756
I'm a great person
117
00:07:08,922 --> 00:07:11,154
Oh, come on, Barry
This is an easy one
118
00:07:11,154 --> 00:07:13,051
Um, I'm not sure
119
00:07:13,051 --> 00:07:14,107
Take a guess
120
00:07:14,107 --> 00:07:16,008
Salma Hayek?
121
00:07:17,039 --> 00:07:18,804
Salma Hayek?!
122
00:07:18,804 --> 00:07:20,922
Is that not a real person?
123
00:07:21,289 --> 00:07:23,411
I don't even know
how I know that name
124
00:07:24,113 --> 00:07:25,768
It's Vivian Leigh
from Gone With the Wind!
125
00:07:25,768 --> 00:07:27,667
How can a person not know that?!
126
00:07:27,667 --> 00:07:30,430
I'm tired and thirsty
Can I have a Coke?
127
00:07:31,190 --> 00:07:34,160
It's Diet Coke
And no!
128
00:07:35,351 --> 00:07:37,789
Come on!
Let's go, let's go!
129
00:07:38,579 --> 00:07:39,686
Push!
130
00:07:39,686 --> 00:07:42,755
Remember:
No pecs, no sex!
131
00:07:45,744 --> 00:07:47,233
This all seems so superficial
132
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,720
Are gay guys only
about bodies and faces?
133
00:07:49,720 --> 00:07:50,889
Absolutely not
134
00:07:50,889 --> 00:07:53,041
They're only about bodies
135
00:07:55,366 --> 00:07:59,532
Faces you can cover up
with a cute hat or leather hood
136
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,851
Looser, looser
137
00:08:12,054 --> 00:08:15,111
Eek. Tighter, tighter
Pull it in!
138
00:08:15,822 --> 00:08:17,433
Okay, okay
139
00:08:17,433 --> 00:08:20,031
Look, um...
this move...
140
00:08:20,031 --> 00:08:21,834
unless you're
one of the Brady kids
141
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:24,761
should be stricken from
your dance vocabulary
142
00:08:25,327 --> 00:08:26,892
Okay, Barry
Now, come on
143
00:08:26,892 --> 00:08:30,035
Sit here, sweetheart
Watch and learn, all right?
144
00:08:30,035 --> 00:08:34,766
And note, these moves can also
be performed on roller skates, okay?
145
00:08:52,803 --> 00:08:57,931
Man, making someone gay
is exhausting / Mm-hmm
146
00:08:59,892 --> 00:09:02,410
I don't know how my mother did it
147
00:09:14,313 --> 00:09:15,207
Hey
148
00:09:15,207 --> 00:09:17,681
Oh, no
Is it 5:00 already?
149
00:09:17,681 --> 00:09:19,775
Yeah, the cab's out front
150
00:09:19,775 --> 00:09:22,219
Boy, 28 hours on a plane
151
00:09:22,219 --> 00:09:25,569
What do you bet I still won't
get through the corrections?
152
00:09:27,176 --> 00:09:29,656
You know
153
00:09:30,056 --> 00:09:32,082
I am so proud of you
154
00:09:32,082 --> 00:09:36,430
Tonight I'm gonna close my eyes
and imagine I'm in Africa with you
155
00:09:36,430 --> 00:09:37,846
helping the needy
156
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:42,514
Till "The Osbournes" start
Then you're on your own
157
00:09:42,514 --> 00:09:44,598
Okay, I gotta go save some lives
158
00:09:44,598 --> 00:09:49,363
Yeah, I gotta go save 50%
Barney's is having a sale
159
00:09:53,187 --> 00:09:54,159
Bye
160
00:09:55,502 --> 00:09:56,989
I love you
161
00:09:57,635 --> 00:09:59,921
I don't blame you
162
00:10:06,892 --> 00:10:08,263
Bye
163
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:20,050
Yes?
164
00:10:21,261 --> 00:10:24,891
Um, if you see some cute bowls
for cheap, totally stock up
165
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:28,903
And don't agree on the first price
'cause they expect you to haggle
166
00:10:28,903 --> 00:10:31,311
Grace, these people
don't have water
167
00:10:31,311 --> 00:10:34,286
I didn't say they were
good at haggling
168
00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:37,177
Okay
Bye
169
00:10:39,563 --> 00:10:41,144
What? I'll get a bowl, okay?
170
00:10:41,144 --> 00:10:44,655
I'll take their food and dump it
on the ground and take the bowl
171
00:10:46,708 --> 00:10:49,292
No, I just don't want you
to forget to pay the gas bill
172
00:10:49,292 --> 00:10:51,432
It's due on the 21st
173
00:10:51,432 --> 00:10:54,693
Yeah, I'll pay them in wildebeests
174
00:10:55,139 --> 00:10:59,910
Grace, I'm gonna be
sub-Saharan Africa / Hey, I work too
175
00:11:00,321 --> 00:11:03,565
I-I didn't say you didn't
I-I just assumed
176
00:11:03,565 --> 00:11:06,319
while I was gone, you'd take
care of the household stuff
177
00:11:06,319 --> 00:11:08,732
Oh. 'Cause I'm a
housewife now?
178
00:11:08,732 --> 00:11:11,245
Suddenly, I'm the woman?
179
00:11:11,245 --> 00:11:14,426
Should I crank out a couple
of kids while you're gone too?
180
00:11:17,492 --> 00:11:19,682
Grace, I-I-I-- I really
don't have time for this
181
00:11:19,682 --> 00:11:22,651
I have to get to the airport and
exchange my 100 American dollars
182
00:11:22,651 --> 00:11:25,467
for ten billion Zairian dollars
Okay?
183
00:11:26,212 --> 00:11:27,704
Fine, then I'm coming with you
184
00:11:27,704 --> 00:11:29,033
'Cause we haven't
even begun to discuss
185
00:11:29,033 --> 00:11:31,492
who's gonna wash the dishes
that are still in the sink
186
00:11:40,903 --> 00:11:41,853
Wow
187
00:11:43,109 --> 00:11:44,174
He's pretty cute, isn't he?
188
00:11:44,174 --> 00:11:45,798
Yeah
189
00:11:46,301 --> 00:11:48,323
- Go talk to him
- What?!
190
00:11:48,323 --> 00:11:50,227
I can't do that
He's out of my league
191
00:11:50,227 --> 00:11:53,242
He's an all-star
I'm barely in the minors
192
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:56,094
Sports again?
193
00:11:57,806 --> 00:12:01,534
What did I tell you to do when those
thoughts come into your head? / Right
194
00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:05,455
Judy, Liza, Barbra, Bette
these are names I shan't forget / Good
195
00:12:09,185 --> 00:12:13,537
Or Dream Girls, CompanyChorus Line
these three shows are quite divine
196
00:12:15,538 --> 00:12:17,456
Come on, you can do this
197
00:12:17,456 --> 00:12:20,216
That's easy for you to say
You're a god.
198
00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:22,106
Please
A "god."
199
00:12:23,258 --> 00:12:25,583
In what way am I like a god?
200
00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:28,036
You're hot
You're successful
201
00:12:28,036 --> 00:12:29,778
Every guy in this bar
is checking you out
202
00:12:29,778 --> 00:12:31,842
No, they're not
203
00:12:31,842 --> 00:12:34,384
Look, I was once
where you are
204
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:38,886
Sorry, you're blocking
their view of me
205
00:12:38,397 --> 00:12:39,379
Hi
206
00:12:39,872 --> 00:12:42,240
Everyone has a first time, Barry
207
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:44,846
I can't believe you were ever
like me / Well, I was
208
00:12:44,846 --> 00:12:48,093
In my first time in a gay bar
I was no more comfortable than you are
209
00:12:48,093 --> 00:12:49,629
I've just been out
a couple of weeks
210
00:12:49,629 --> 00:12:52,485
and Jack just decided to
throw me into the deep end....
211
00:12:58,442 --> 00:12:59,889
What do you think you're doing?
212
00:12:59,889 --> 00:13:02,085
- I'm eating peanuts
- Have you lost your mind?!
213
00:13:02,085 --> 00:13:04,915
Those are little pellets
of fat and breath
214
00:13:06,399 --> 00:13:09,246
You might as well be
chewing on loneliness
215
00:13:09,883 --> 00:13:12,894
Have you asked anyone to dance?
Have you talked to anybody?
216
00:13:12,894 --> 00:13:15,002
Have you done anything?
217
00:13:16,009 --> 00:13:16,912
I can't
218
00:13:16,912 --> 00:13:18,883
I feel like everyone's judging me
219
00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:21,438
Well, of course they are
It's a gay bar
220
00:13:22,373 --> 00:13:23,532
Now, come on
221
00:13:23,532 --> 00:13:25,457
Get out there
Who do you like?
222
00:13:25,457 --> 00:13:26,757
What about that guy?
223
00:13:26,757 --> 00:13:29,592
I saw you doing one of
these when we walked in
224
00:13:30,749 --> 00:13:33,524
What? That guy?
No, he'd never go out with me
225
00:13:33,524 --> 00:13:36,244
How do you know until you try?
Come on, do it, Will
226
00:13:36,244 --> 00:13:38,273
- Come on, you got nothing to lose- I'm scared
227
00:13:38,273 --> 00:13:41,129
We're all scared
You gotta develop thick skin
228
00:13:41,129 --> 00:13:43,717
And then moisturize
and sleep in gloves
229
00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:45,552
Come on, go
230
00:13:45,552 --> 00:13:47,882
- Jack, stop it
- Go, go
231
00:13:50,754 --> 00:13:53,541
- Hi, I'm Will- Zack
232
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:56,877
- I'm Will
- Still Zack
233
00:13:56,877 --> 00:13:58,233
Sorry
234
00:13:58,770 --> 00:14:02,002
Talk to him
Talk to him. Talk
235
00:14:02,969 --> 00:14:06,124
Look, I've never done
this before, but--
236
00:14:06,124 --> 00:14:08,643
Sure, I'll go out with you
237
00:14:10,228 --> 00:14:13,072
Just like that
I got my first date
238
00:14:13,072 --> 00:14:14,284
He ended up stealing my identity
239
00:14:14,284 --> 00:14:15,827
and traveling around Europe
on my credit cards
240
00:14:15,827 --> 00:14:18,224
but that "yes" felt good
241
00:14:18,224 --> 00:14:19,715
There's your guy
Come on, make your move
242
00:14:19,715 --> 00:14:21,292
Really?
No, I don't know. I-I--
243
00:14:21,292 --> 00:14:24,001
Come on, come on. Do it
Get your "yes."
244
00:14:24,001 --> 00:14:26,677
And don't give out your PIN number
even if he says he needs it to
245
00:14:26,677 --> 00:14:28,749
"do your chart."
246
00:14:35,935 --> 00:14:40,951
Hi, I haven't done this
much, but, um-- / No
247
00:14:45,289 --> 00:14:46,591
Okay, how 'bout this?
248
00:14:46,591 --> 00:14:48,359
I'll pay the bills
but when you come home
249
00:14:48,359 --> 00:14:50,802
you are going to
wash the oatmeal pot
250
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,036
You know what, honey
why don't you send me the pot?
251
00:14:53,036 --> 00:14:57,979
It'll be a nice break from bringing
people back from the brink of death
252
00:14:57,979 --> 00:14:59,269
Brink of death?
253
00:14:59,269 --> 00:15:01,906
Give me a break
You're staying at a Hyatt
254
00:15:01,906 --> 00:15:04,776
This is ridiculous
We're here
255
00:15:06,228 --> 00:15:09,037
Oh, oh, oh, look at that
256
00:15:09,037 --> 00:15:11,295
You took the luggage we just
got as a wedding present
257
00:15:11,295 --> 00:15:13,089
I guess it's just for you
258
00:15:13,089 --> 00:15:15,443
Okay, I think I know
what's going on here
259
00:15:15,443 --> 00:15:18,166
Oh, really? Enlighten me
Mr. Take-My-Luggage
260
00:15:18,802 --> 00:15:21,569
It's Doctor Take-My-Luggage
261
00:15:22,316 --> 00:15:23,207
Come on, Grace
262
00:15:23,207 --> 00:15:26,485
You're pickin' a fight with me
'cause you don't want to say good-bye
263
00:15:26,941 --> 00:15:29,521
You're having trouble dealing
with the fact that we just got married
264
00:15:29,521 --> 00:15:32,306
and now I'm going
away for awhile
265
00:15:32,816 --> 00:15:34,302
And maybe if you're mad at me
266
00:15:34,302 --> 00:15:37,736
then you won't have to deal with
your real feelings about me leaving
267
00:15:39,270 --> 00:15:40,564
Is any of this true?
268
00:15:40,564 --> 00:15:44,371
And don't answer me with any of
the sounds your dad makes after dinner
269
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,156
Hey! His chair makes
weird sounds
270
00:15:46,156 --> 00:15:49,493
When you ask him
to do it again, he can't!
271
00:15:51,026 --> 00:15:52,615
I have to go
272
00:15:53,021 --> 00:15:54,662
Do you really want to
leave it like this?
273
00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,250
You're the one leaving!
274
00:15:56,250 --> 00:15:58,571
Okay
Fine
275
00:15:59,183 --> 00:16:00,746
I'll see you in a month
276
00:16:00,901 --> 00:16:02,215
Good-bye
277
00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,547
- Barry, wait
- Forget it, Will
278
00:16:08,547 --> 00:16:10,908
Look, I appreciate everything
you've done, but I want to go home
279
00:16:10,908 --> 00:16:13,060
No, you can't leave
You're doing great
280
00:16:13,060 --> 00:16:13,722
Great?!
281
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,509
The guy said no before
I even finished my sentence
282
00:16:15,509 --> 00:16:16,997
He put his hand in my face
283
00:16:16,997 --> 00:16:20,745
That's gay for
"Stop in the name of love."
284
00:16:22,684 --> 00:16:24,707
And then come here
285
00:16:25,369 --> 00:16:26,836
I'm not an idiot
286
00:16:26,836 --> 00:16:27,900
I know
287
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:31,382
It'd be a lot easier if you were
Idiots do really well in these places
288
00:16:31,382 --> 00:16:32,649
Ooh, ooh!
289
00:16:33,088 --> 00:16:34,641
Ooh, ooh!
290
00:16:35,039 --> 00:16:36,193
Ooh, ooh!
291
00:16:36,193 --> 00:16:39,138
I just got three numbers
292
00:16:39,512 --> 00:16:44,025
And I just stole the wallet of
"Who's The Boss"'s Danny Pintauro
293
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,001
I'll see you guys later
If I leave now
294
00:16:49,001 --> 00:16:52,410
I can cry in the tub and still have
time to eat everything in the fridge
295
00:16:52,686 --> 00:16:54,314
Barry, don't go
296
00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:56,661
Don't you want to have
your first man-on-man kiss tonight
297
00:16:56,661 --> 00:17:01,200
and give me something to call
your religious maniac parents about?
298
00:17:02,172 --> 00:17:03,262
I can't do this
299
00:17:03,262 --> 00:17:05,593
Just because Will got a guy
on his first night in a gay bar
300
00:17:05,593 --> 00:17:06,634
doesn't mean I can
301
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:08,843
Oh, please, is that
what he told you?
302
00:17:08,843 --> 00:17:11,970
Well, I did score my first time out
303
00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:13,764
Ish...
304
00:17:15,719 --> 00:17:17,813
Come on, just go out
with my friend
305
00:17:17,813 --> 00:17:19,485
There's 20 bucks in it for you
306
00:17:19,485 --> 00:17:21,113
Which one is he?
307
00:17:30,773 --> 00:17:32,431
Okay, 40
308
00:17:33,047 --> 00:17:34,315
And you can lose the 'tude
309
00:17:34,315 --> 00:17:36,899
You act like you know
Wham! or something
310
00:17:41,039 --> 00:17:42,075
I can't--
I can't--
311
00:17:42,075 --> 00:17:44,242
You paid him to
go out with me?
312
00:17:44,242 --> 00:17:47,065
- We talked about this
- We have not!
313
00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:47,992
Oh
314
00:17:47,992 --> 00:17:50,822
Well, I talk to other people about it
315
00:17:51,918 --> 00:17:55,769
Even I got a few miles out of
that one at the family picnic
316
00:17:55,769 --> 00:17:57,901
Wait, that was you?
317
00:17:57,901 --> 00:17:59,193
Cousin Gina laughed so hard
318
00:17:59,193 --> 00:18:01,788
coleslaw came out of
the hole in her neck
319
00:18:04,228 --> 00:18:05,589
Oh, boy
320
00:18:05,589 --> 00:18:08,313
I gotta call that Gina
She's such a--
321
00:18:08,313 --> 00:18:09,124
Oh, crap
322
00:18:09,124 --> 00:18:12,380
There's Danny Pintauro
and he looks pissed
323
00:18:16,875 --> 00:18:19,071
You are unbelievable
324
00:18:19,071 --> 00:18:20,683
What's the big deal?
325
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:23,408
It's not like you just
found out you're adopted...
326
00:18:23,408 --> 00:18:25,499
or Canadian
327
00:18:25,953 --> 00:18:28,870
The big deal is that all of
my confidence as a gay man
328
00:18:28,870 --> 00:18:30,051
is based on that moment
329
00:18:30,051 --> 00:18:32,183
- And now it's a lie
- I was just trying to help you
330
00:18:32,183 --> 00:18:34,948
- the way we're helping Barry
- Do not compare me to Barry!
331
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:37,020
Why not?
Look at him
332
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:39,873
That wreck is you 15 years ago
333
00:18:39,873 --> 00:18:42,127
Oh, please!
I was never as bad as he is!
334
00:18:42,127 --> 00:18:43,538
Barry's pathetic!
335
00:18:43,538 --> 00:18:45,319
- Stop it
- Barry
336
00:18:45,319 --> 00:18:47,488
This does not
concern you, okay?
337
00:18:47,488 --> 00:18:50,048
We are discussing
Barry right now
338
00:18:51,292 --> 00:18:53,794
Stop talking about me
like I'm not even here
339
00:18:53,794 --> 00:18:55,983
You call me pathetic
but I look at you guys
340
00:18:55,983 --> 00:18:57,566
and all you care about
are superficial things
341
00:18:57,566 --> 00:19:00,860
like the homoerotic subtext
of "The A-Team."
342
00:19:02,826 --> 00:19:06,703
Or how to make your butt
stand out, even in a dense fog
343
00:19:07,912 --> 00:19:10,195
I didn't come out so I could be
in your twisted production
344
00:19:10,195 --> 00:19:12,776
of My Fairy Lady
345
00:19:13,202 --> 00:19:14,306
I came out so...
346
00:19:14,306 --> 00:19:17,211
I-I could find a guy
and fall in love
347
00:19:17,211 --> 00:19:19,102
So what do you two
have to teach me?
348
00:19:19,102 --> 00:19:22,005
You got a 15-year head start
and you're both alone
349
00:19:22,563 --> 00:19:24,911
Now who's pathetic?
350
00:19:27,395 --> 00:19:29,711
Whew, I gave Pintauro the slip
351
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:33,889
Now who wants a drink?
I got "Who's The Boss" money!
352
00:19:37,782 --> 00:19:40,741
Ugh, he calls me selfish
353
00:19:40,741 --> 00:19:46,120
When you think about it
isn't helping people even more selfish?
354
00:19:47,489 --> 00:19:50,426
And then he tries to make it seem
like I'm unreasonable
355
00:19:50,426 --> 00:19:53,403
- I'not the one being unreasonable
- Grace
356
00:19:53,403 --> 00:19:55,936
Yes, I am
357
00:19:56,496 --> 00:19:57,778
Turn around
358
00:19:57,778 --> 00:20:00,244
I can't leave it like this
359
00:20:00,244 --> 00:20:04,514
And I'm telling you now
if I forget to tip, it's just 'cause I'm upset
360
00:20:05,975 --> 00:20:08,042
Now here's the thing
If something's bothering me
361
00:20:08,042 --> 00:20:10,197
I-I just say it
I don't try to hide it
362
00:20:10,197 --> 00:20:11,590
I don't make somebody
guess what it is
363
00:20:11,590 --> 00:20:16,091
I don't bury it in conversation
about pots or luggage
364
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:17,986
Why should I indulge
her craziness?
365
00:20:17,986 --> 00:20:19,615
Because you love her
366
00:20:19,615 --> 00:20:22,377
Crap! That's what
the Skycap said...
367
00:20:27,045 --> 00:20:30,078
Will, do you think I'm pathetic?
368
00:20:30,436 --> 00:20:32,309
No, of course not
369
00:20:33,135 --> 00:20:35,168
You think I'm pathetic?
370
00:20:35,945 --> 00:20:38,208
Sometimes
371
00:20:39,929 --> 00:20:42,425
That's not how
that's supposed to go
372
00:20:42,425 --> 00:20:43,769
Oh, I'm sorry
I'm sorry
373
00:20:43,769 --> 00:20:45,653
Gimme again
gimme again
374
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:48,139
Do you think I'm pathetic?
375
00:20:48,705 --> 00:20:50,797
Sometimes
376
00:20:54,225 --> 00:20:56,591
He really nailed us
377
00:20:57,478 --> 00:20:59,367
Shallow, vain
378
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,199
Are we those guys?
379
00:21:03,199 --> 00:21:04,465
No
380
00:21:04,465 --> 00:21:05,891
Of course not
381
00:21:06,924 --> 00:21:08,173
Speaking of "veins,"
382
00:21:08,173 --> 00:21:11,306
I got a new one
coming in on my forearm
383
00:21:11,306 --> 00:21:14,161
I think I'm gonna
name him Kevin
384
00:21:15,485 --> 00:21:17,178
He's absolutely right
385
00:21:17,178 --> 00:21:19,084
I am alone
386
00:21:19,084 --> 00:21:20,275
What makes me
such an expert?
387
00:21:20,275 --> 00:21:23,214
No, Jocelyn
Hi, Jocelyn
388
00:21:29,658 --> 00:21:33,106
Look, um, I'm sorry
I think I was a little hard on you before
389
00:21:33,106 --> 00:21:37,679
Don't apologize, Barry
Will needed to hear it
390
00:21:37,886 --> 00:21:40,433
Anyway, if you're still into it
391
00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:42,623
I'd like to start training again
392
00:21:42,623 --> 00:21:44,373
'Cause even if you are
kinda superficial
393
00:21:44,373 --> 00:21:48,069
I'd rather go through this with
someone than go through it alone
394
00:21:48,976 --> 00:21:50,027
We'd be honored
395
00:21:50,027 --> 00:21:53,982
Plus, if you can manage it
I'd really like to look like this guy
396
00:21:54,582 --> 00:21:57,330
Check out those abs
Aren't they fabulous?
397
00:22:01,081 --> 00:22:03,560
- Was that--?
- I think it was
398
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,296
Baby's first "fabulous."
399
00:22:11,122 --> 00:22:13,316
Get the camcorder
400
00:22:15,316 --> 00:22:17,083
Are those--
401
00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:19,722
- Is that Gucci on your feet?
- Oh, yeah
402
00:22:19,722 --> 00:22:20,587
Aren't they great?
403
00:22:20,587 --> 00:22:22,347
They kill my toes
and cost a fortune
404
00:22:22,347 --> 00:22:24,884
but what the hell?
I'll take out another credit card
405
00:22:24,884 --> 00:22:27,091
I think I'm gonna cry
406
00:22:28,277 --> 00:22:29,910
Will, do you know
what this means?
407
00:22:29,910 --> 00:22:33,929
- Unrealistic body expectations
- Choosing fashion over comfort
408
00:22:33,929 --> 00:22:36,254
Living beyond your means
409
00:22:36,945 --> 00:22:39,299
Boy George
I think he's got it!
410
00:22:45,473 --> 00:22:48,166
Ma'am, I need you to take your seat
We're getting ready for takeoff
411
00:22:48,166 --> 00:22:50,640
Yeah, I need to find my husband
We're flying together
412
00:22:50,640 --> 00:22:52,436
Now!
413
00:23:03,009 --> 00:23:05,820
You know, you're not supposed
to use that while we're taxiing
414
00:23:05,820 --> 00:23:07,482
Yeah, well, you're not supposed
to take two blankets either
415
00:23:07,482 --> 00:23:10,264
so let's just mind
our own beeswax
416
00:23:12,161 --> 00:23:13,661
Hello?
417
00:23:13,661 --> 00:23:16,005
- Hi, Leo
- Hey
418
00:23:16,912 --> 00:23:19,182
You'll never believe what I did
419
00:23:19,182 --> 00:23:20,117
Um
420
00:23:20,878 --> 00:23:22,162
what seat are you in?
421
00:23:22,162 --> 00:23:25,226
I'm not sitting
I just got home
422
00:23:27,041 --> 00:23:27,985
Home?
423
00:23:27,985 --> 00:23:29,909
Yeah. I just thought we
needed a real good-bye
424
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:33,701
so I switched my flight to tomorrow
Where are you?
425
00:23:41,610 --> 00:23:43,515
Karen
426
00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:48,033
Karen
427
00:23:48,632 --> 00:23:50,712
Leave me alone
428
00:23:50,712 --> 00:23:53,288
Karen...
429
00:23:54,193 --> 00:23:56,849
Please, what do you
cookies want from me?
430
00:23:56,849 --> 00:23:58,712
We're not the cookies
431
00:23:58,712 --> 00:24:01,539
We're the pencil sharpener!
432
00:24:03,505 --> 00:24:05,544
Oh, thank God!
For a second there
433
00:24:05,544 --> 00:24:08,646
I thought the cookies
were talking to me
32542
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