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1
00:00:04,110 --> 00:00:06,658
Ok, husband, I'll be right down
2
00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,495
Oh, Leo. I'm so excited
3
00:00:08,495 --> 00:00:10,942
Tonight I'm gonna sleep with a married man
4
00:00:13,366 --> 00:00:14,666
Okay, you can watch
5
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,153
Heh heh heh
6
00:00:18,802 --> 00:00:21,689
Whee! Going on my honeymoon
7
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:23,017
I'm happy for you
8
00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:25,761
I've also narrowed down
what I'm gonna turn your room into
9
00:00:25,761 --> 00:00:27,608
It's either gonna be
a home office, a gym
10
00:00:27,608 --> 00:00:30,060
or a gift-wrapping room
like Candy Spelling has
11
00:00:31,855 --> 00:00:34,535
Ah, who am I kidding?
The bows and ribbons arrive tomorrow
12
00:00:36,252 --> 00:00:37,601
This sucks
13
00:00:38,518 --> 00:00:41,742
How come Grace gets to go
to the Caribbean, and I don't?
14
00:00:42,890 --> 00:00:45,132
Trust me, poodle
You don't wanna go
15
00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,981
Two Jews on a beach?
16
00:00:50,130 --> 00:00:54,187
It's gonna be a week of hunting
for the highest SPF at the lowest price
17
00:00:57,402 --> 00:00:58,816
You guys gonna miss me?
18
00:00:58,816 --> 00:01:01,733
- Like you even have to ask!
- Of course we're gonna miss you, crazy!
- Hello! Go on, get out!
19
00:01:02,195 --> 00:01:04,100
'Kay. See you in a week
20
00:01:06,711 --> 00:01:08,540
Wow. She's really gone
21
00:01:09,461 --> 00:01:10,828
I miss her already
22
00:01:11,296 --> 00:01:12,732
I'm sad
23
00:01:13,972 --> 00:01:15,239
New gay bar on 72nd Street!
24
00:01:15,239 --> 00:01:16,699
- Let's go!
- Right behind ya!
25
00:01:16,699 --> 00:01:18,905
- Get down, get down
- Wee, wee!
26
00:01:18,905 --> 00:01:40,530
- Get down, get down
- Ooh, ooh!
27
00:01:40,530 --> 00:01:43,442
That gift-wrapping room's like the best thing ever
28
00:01:43,741 --> 00:01:45,392
I don't know how I existed without it
29
00:01:45,392 --> 00:01:47,051
I was always losing the scissors
30
00:01:47,051 --> 00:01:49,846
and spreading the wrapping paper out
on the floor like an animal
31
00:01:51,351 --> 00:01:52,759
Okay--
And exchange
32
00:01:53,406 --> 00:01:55,167
And open
33
00:01:57,860 --> 00:01:59,665
Oh, my God!
Smart Start!
34
00:02:01,107 --> 00:02:03,660
And milk
Always the perfect gift
35
00:02:08,334 --> 00:02:10,277
It's so much more fun
eating breakfast this way
36
00:02:10,518 --> 00:02:11,425
I know
37
00:02:11,654 --> 00:02:14,185
Hurry up, we've only got
two hours to gift wrap lunch
38
00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:18,251
Um, sweetheart?
39
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:20,280
Yes, bunny?
40
00:02:22,687 --> 00:02:24,991
I think I'm gonna need my allowance
a little early this week
41
00:02:25,654 --> 00:02:28,470
Well, I thought you were doing well
teaching your acting class
42
00:02:28,793 --> 00:02:30,014
'Twas
43
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,978
But, um, I had to
kick a student out
44
00:02:34,978 --> 00:02:37,920
Yeah. Phillip wasn't willing to do
what it takes to become a great actor
45
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:41,321
- He wouldn't make out with you?
- All I wanted was a little Mr. French!
46
00:02:41,993 --> 00:02:44,083
He got all crazy
when I told him
47
00:02:44,274 --> 00:02:46,421
Started hissing and
spraying everywhere
48
00:02:47,008 --> 00:02:49,623
He even told me he was gonna
sic the gay mafia on me
49
00:02:49,623 --> 00:02:50,631
Heh heh heh
50
00:02:51,051 --> 00:02:52,760
Right, the gay mafia
51
00:02:52,986 --> 00:02:55,675
Or as I like to call it
really organized crime
52
00:02:57,082 --> 00:02:58,720
Ha-ha! Ha-ha!
53
00:02:58,720 --> 00:02:59,817
Yeah, what are they gonna do?
54
00:02:59,817 --> 00:03:02,635
Measure me for concrete sneaker clogs?
55
00:03:03,621 --> 00:03:05,914
They gonna make you a
coiffure you can't refuse?
56
00:03:05,914 --> 00:03:08,507
Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha--
57
00:03:08,507 --> 00:03:09,955
I don't get that one
58
00:03:12,097 --> 00:03:13,779
Hey, Sam
Hey, Diane
59
00:03:14,665 --> 00:03:17,202
Hey, someone's got
a little spring in their step
60
00:03:17,526 --> 00:03:19,293
You just got a bikini wax?
61
00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,428
I don't know
People were moving around down there--
62
00:03:22,428 --> 00:03:24,205
I assume something was getting done
63
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:29,524
Funny, Jack said the same thing
about his last dentist appointment
64
00:03:33,287 --> 00:03:35,201
Ah... listen, kids
65
00:03:35,201 --> 00:03:36,568
I need your help
66
00:03:36,875 --> 00:03:38,368
I'm in a little bit of a pickle
67
00:03:40,357 --> 00:03:42,914
You know how I'm into Aerosmith, right?
68
00:03:45,466 --> 00:03:47,478
- Yeah
- Sure, go ahead
69
00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:50,191
I went to see 'em play
at Madison Square Garden
70
00:03:50,191 --> 00:03:53,958
and invited 'em back to my suite
at the Palace Hotel to party with me
71
00:03:53,958 --> 00:03:56,512
- Aerosmith?
- No, Madison Square Garden
72
00:03:59,176 --> 00:04:00,758
Anyhoo--
73
00:04:00,758 --> 00:04:02,864
Some things may have...
74
00:04:02,864 --> 00:04:04,465
been set on fire
75
00:04:04,716 --> 00:04:07,457
A bellboy may have been stripped and shaved
76
00:04:09,626 --> 00:04:13,114
A young girl may have become a mother
77
00:04:15,909 --> 00:04:17,458
Bottom line...
They kicked me out
78
00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:19,863
And no hotel in New York will have me
And I need a place to stay
79
00:04:19,863 --> 00:04:20,926
A-ha-ha-ha!
80
00:04:23,191 --> 00:04:25,609
Well, you know
I'd let you bunk with me
81
00:04:25,609 --> 00:04:29,131
but they're gonna be shooting
"Sex and the City" in my apartment all week!
82
00:04:29,398 --> 00:04:31,446
Yeah, in fact, I gotta go baby-proof it
83
00:04:31,446 --> 00:04:35,416
In case Sarah Jessica brings little
James Wilke Jessica Broderick Parker
84
00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,073
So, I guess that leaves--
85
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,303
No, no, no
86
00:04:42,717 --> 00:04:44,116
No, you cannot stay here
87
00:04:44,116 --> 00:04:46,522
Why don't you move in with
one of your hallucinations?
88
00:04:48,859 --> 00:04:50,641
All right, okay
89
00:04:51,945 --> 00:04:53,661
I see what this is gonna take
90
00:04:59,476 --> 00:05:01,520
Ooh, yeah
91
00:05:01,941 --> 00:05:03,914
It's good to be bad, isn't it, daddy?
92
00:05:03,914 --> 00:05:05,098
Whoo!
93
00:05:09,815 --> 00:05:12,054
Karen, I'd ha-- What--
94
00:05:15,223 --> 00:05:16,732
Okay, all right, all right
Stop it!
95
00:05:17,135 --> 00:05:17,931
- You can stay here--
- Ha!
96
00:05:17,931 --> 00:05:20,032
But just till we work
things out with the Palace
97
00:05:21,937 --> 00:05:24,732
I don't know if you hypnotized me
with those things or what
98
00:05:25,865 --> 00:05:27,984
but I'm not afraid of flying anymore
99
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:33,808
Hey
100
00:05:34,471 --> 00:05:36,619
What time does the gal
come by to turn down the bed?
101
00:05:37,934 --> 00:05:41,065
Karen, this is not a hotel
No one will be turning your bed down
102
00:05:41,065 --> 00:05:43,384
And I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't keep
filling up my answering machine
103
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:45,172
with complaints about room service
104
00:05:46,782 --> 00:05:48,433
Well, since you bring it up
105
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:50,309
when I checked in
the soaps had all been opened
106
00:05:50,309 --> 00:05:52,288
and the shower cap had been used
107
00:05:54,823 --> 00:05:56,048
Karen
108
00:05:56,858 --> 00:05:59,405
I am trying to catch up on some work here
Okay?
109
00:05:59,405 --> 00:06:01,830
I've got an SEC filing that's months overdue
110
00:06:01,830 --> 00:06:03,963
a product liability case
that's going to trial
111
00:06:03,963 --> 00:06:06,438
and, most importantly of all
the firm's annual potluck dinner is coming up
112
00:06:06,438 --> 00:06:09,824
and I don't want three people
bringing salads like last year's fiasco
113
00:06:10,313 --> 00:06:12,219
Okay, okay
114
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:15,292
Fine, I'll leave you alone
115
00:06:20,218 --> 00:06:23,913
It's not unusual to be loved by anyone
116
00:06:25,174 --> 00:06:27,276
It's not unusual to be loved by...
117
00:06:27,276 --> 00:06:30,038
Karen! Quiet!
118
00:06:30,038 --> 00:06:31,080
Quiet
119
00:06:31,595 --> 00:06:33,152
Jeez Louise!
120
00:06:34,634 --> 00:06:36,309
It's just a little top 40
121
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:40,212
Well, if you must do that
put the headphones on
122
00:06:40,465 --> 00:06:41,311
Oh, fun
123
00:06:44,126 --> 00:06:48,090
If you ever want to be loved by anyone
124
00:06:48,996 --> 00:06:52,698
It's not unusual, it happens every day
125
00:06:53,536 --> 00:06:55,582
No matter what you say
126
00:06:56,914 --> 00:06:58,839
you see it happens all the--
127
00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:02,337
Where you going?
I'm just about at the bridge
128
00:07:03,642 --> 00:07:06,154
I can't believe I sacrificed
my gift-wrapping room for you
129
00:07:06,154 --> 00:07:07,746
And right around the holidays!
130
00:07:09,159 --> 00:07:10,278
Morning, morning, morning
131
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:13,133
Remember we were making those jokes
about the gay mafia?
132
00:07:13,556 --> 00:07:14,823
I think it's for real
133
00:07:16,529 --> 00:07:17,370
Of course it is
134
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:20,317
I'm sure some gay guy's
getting whacked as we speak
135
00:07:24,323 --> 00:07:25,296
This is serious
136
00:07:25,523 --> 00:07:28,719
I think that guy I kicked out of
my acting class sent them after me
137
00:07:28,719 --> 00:07:29,691
I mean, look at this
138
00:07:31,454 --> 00:07:32,655
That's awful
139
00:07:33,358 --> 00:07:34,452
What am I looking at?
140
00:07:35,260 --> 00:07:38,108
Hello?!
Dry, unmanageable hair
141
00:07:40,036 --> 00:07:41,754
I just got back from the salon
142
00:07:41,975 --> 00:07:43,450
the center of gay culture
143
00:07:44,452 --> 00:07:46,321
The shampoo boy said he
was gonna put conditioner in
144
00:07:46,321 --> 00:07:47,993
but I think he just went like this--
Pbllt, pbllt, Nothing
145
00:07:51,909 --> 00:07:53,524
Well, that's all the proof I need
146
00:07:54,485 --> 00:07:55,640
And check this out, check this out
147
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,141
"Sex and the City," supposed to shoot
all week in my apartment?
148
00:07:58,141 --> 00:07:59,534
Then for no reason--
149
00:07:59,534 --> 00:08:00,870
They pulled out
150
00:08:00,870 --> 00:08:04,153
- What does that have to do with anyth--
- Do I have to spell it out for you?
151
00:08:04,153 --> 00:08:07,044
"Sex and the City,"
HBO, H-O-M-O
152
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,515
What do I do, Will?
What do I do?!
153
00:08:12,515 --> 00:08:13,851
Okay, here's the plan
154
00:08:14,210 --> 00:08:16,738
Call Dorothy, tell her to meet you
at the Yellow Brick Road
155
00:08:18,246 --> 00:08:19,831
When you get to the end of the road
you'll see a man
156
00:08:19,831 --> 00:08:21,098
Ask him for a brain
157
00:08:26,408 --> 00:08:28,421
Oh, Will, you would
have loved this hotel
158
00:08:28,421 --> 00:08:30,648
They had parasailing and scuba diving
159
00:08:30,648 --> 00:08:34,148
You could go in a Jeep
and scour cave walls
160
00:08:34,148 --> 00:08:36,820
for markings made by
the indigenous peoples
161
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:37,742
Cool
162
00:08:37,742 --> 00:08:39,169
What did you do?
163
00:08:41,285 --> 00:08:43,219
There was a bar in the pool
164
00:08:46,216 --> 00:08:50,096
I swear, swimming any other way
than drunk is just stupid
165
00:08:52,769 --> 00:08:55,439
Oh, and the sunsets
Amazing
166
00:08:55,439 --> 00:08:57,986
I took, like, seven rolls of
film just on that
167
00:08:57,986 --> 00:09:01,048
You know, let's open up a bottle of
wine and I'll walk you through 'em
168
00:09:01,797 --> 00:09:03,082
Hey, you open the wine
169
00:09:03,082 --> 00:09:05,332
I'll open the oven door and climb in
170
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:12,087
Hi, are you alone?
Did anybody follow you up here?
171
00:09:12,087 --> 00:09:14,463
Uh, how about
"Welcome back from your honeymoon"?
172
00:09:14,463 --> 00:09:15,896
Yeah, whatever, who cares
173
00:09:16,335 --> 00:09:18,118
Listen, I got bigger
problems, all right?
174
00:09:18,118 --> 00:09:20,313
The gay mafia's put a hit out on me
175
00:09:20,782 --> 00:09:23,244
What is a gay hit?
"It's Raining Men"?
176
00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:25,188
This is serious!
177
00:09:25,188 --> 00:09:27,340
They're everywhere
They control everything
178
00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:30,024
Who do you think prevented that
'NSync guy from going into space?
179
00:09:32,369 --> 00:09:34,133
I gotta go
I gotta go
180
00:09:36,385 --> 00:09:39,501
"It's not unusua-- it's not unusua--
181
00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:42,903
It's not unusua--
it's not unusua-- It's not--"
182
00:09:48,444 --> 00:09:50,110
Well, this is unusual
183
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:55,208
What the hell happened here?!
Karen?!
184
00:09:55,208 --> 00:09:56,812
Grace Adler Designs
185
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:03,150
I don't remember giving
permission for a party!
186
00:10:03,150 --> 00:10:04,835
It wasn't a party
187
00:10:05,179 --> 00:10:08,146
You guys know how
I'm into gangsta rap, right?
188
00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:12,896
- Sure, go on
- Yeah
189
00:10:13,458 --> 00:10:17,615
All I did was invite Ol' Dirty Bastard
over to watch Masterpiece Theatre
190
00:10:18,870 --> 00:10:20,841
And he brought along his whole posse
191
00:10:21,509 --> 00:10:23,254
And some bomb-ass chronic
192
00:10:23,254 --> 00:10:24,469
Heh-heh!
193
00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:26,809
Would you look at this place?
194
00:10:27,101 --> 00:10:28,696
These cushions are ruined
195
00:10:28,696 --> 00:10:31,213
There's beer rings
all over the coffee table
196
00:10:32,151 --> 00:10:35,892
Great, they broke my novelty pen
from last year's Gay Games
197
00:10:36,823 --> 00:10:39,705
Now when you turn it, the high-diver's
Speedo doesn't come off
198
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,263
What am supposed to do with this pen now?
199
00:10:42,263 --> 00:10:44,244
- I have a suggestion
- I heard that!
200
00:10:45,346 --> 00:10:46,386
All right, calm down
201
00:10:46,386 --> 00:10:47,890
Hey! Don't you tell me to calm down!
202
00:10:47,890 --> 00:10:52,940
Hey, can we please not do this
in front of the D-R-U-N-K?
203
00:10:55,961 --> 00:10:58,678
- Can I have my martini now?
- No! No dessert!
204
00:10:59,374 --> 00:11:00,826
- Will, she's hungry
- Tough!
205
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:04,823
She's gotta learn that there are
consequences to her actions!
206
00:11:04,823 --> 00:11:06,960
So you are gonna
sit there, on this couch
207
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:09,137
and look at Grace's honeymoon pictures!
208
00:11:10,758 --> 00:11:11,903
I hate you!
209
00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:15,666
Roll one
210
00:11:17,031 --> 00:11:18,343
My luggage
211
00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:25,124
Which brings us to roll three
212
00:11:26,507 --> 00:11:29,068
Getting kicked out of
the first class lounge
213
00:11:31,483 --> 00:11:32,000
Oh
214
00:11:32,324 --> 00:11:34,493
Hey, Grace
Hey, Leo
215
00:11:37,116 --> 00:11:40,478
Listen, you mind if I talk to
your wife alone for a minute?
216
00:11:42,047 --> 00:11:44,684
You come to Long Island
you can talk to her any time you like
217
00:11:49,969 --> 00:11:51,725
Hey, Karen, what's up
with all the luggage?
218
00:11:51,725 --> 00:11:53,498
Oh, nothing, honey
219
00:11:53,498 --> 00:11:58,229
I just came by to look at all of
your honeymoon pictures
220
00:12:01,806 --> 00:12:04,009
Okay, now I know something's wrong
What happened?
221
00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:07,526
Honey, I don't wanna live with
Will anymore / Why?
222
00:12:07,763 --> 00:12:09,051
He has no sense of humor
223
00:12:09,051 --> 00:12:12,131
He didn't laugh at all when
that M-80 went off in his toilet
224
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,182
Well, he can get like that
225
00:12:18,082 --> 00:12:19,283
So, what are you gonna do?
226
00:12:19,283 --> 00:12:21,557
Oh, no problem
I'm just gonna move in with you
227
00:12:23,453 --> 00:12:24,509
Problem!
228
00:12:33,939 --> 00:12:34,588
Hey
229
00:12:35,616 --> 00:12:38,137
Look what showed up on my doorstep
230
00:12:38,370 --> 00:12:40,523
Was she in a basket with a note
pinned to her that said
231
00:12:40,523 --> 00:12:42,698
"Please take care of my baby
Love, Lucifer"?
232
00:12:44,809 --> 00:12:45,954
We've got a problem
233
00:12:46,172 --> 00:12:47,580
She needs a place to stay
234
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:49,353
Well, why can't
she stay with you and Leo?
235
00:12:49,353 --> 00:12:51,232
Come on, we're newlyweds
236
00:12:51,232 --> 00:12:54,927
We wanna be able to have sex
without someone in the background giggling
237
00:12:56,082 --> 00:12:59,141
Honey, I won't giggle if you
don't make that face you make
238
00:13:03,207 --> 00:13:04,469
Will, come on
239
00:13:04,469 --> 00:13:06,357
Come on, she's in a really bad way
240
00:13:06,357 --> 00:13:08,261
- You have to take her
- I don't want her
241
00:13:08,261 --> 00:13:09,593
Neither do I
242
00:13:09,593 --> 00:13:10,446
What are we gonna do?
243
00:13:10,446 --> 00:13:14,091
We can't just drive her out to the country
and release her back into the wild
244
00:13:16,244 --> 00:13:17,485
Or can't we?
245
00:13:18,289 --> 00:13:19,449
Just think about it
246
00:13:19,927 --> 00:13:24,044
We can lure her into a cage with a Vicodin
tied to the end of a little piece of string
247
00:13:25,628 --> 00:13:27,045
If her friends ask, we just say
248
00:13:27,045 --> 00:13:30,554
"We took her to farm where she can
run free and have waiters fired."
249
00:13:33,070 --> 00:13:35,329
Come on, let's get serious
Where's she gonna go?
250
00:13:36,052 --> 00:13:37,675
Where did she go?
251
00:13:46,321 --> 00:13:47,262
This is crazy
252
00:13:47,262 --> 00:13:49,384
We're not gonna find Karen
She could be anywhere
253
00:13:49,384 --> 00:13:52,577
She's got four fake passports
and a map of the underworld
254
00:13:54,712 --> 00:13:56,125
We've gotta keep looking for her
255
00:13:56,125 --> 00:13:57,315
She's out there all alone
256
00:13:57,315 --> 00:13:59,694
The city's full of criminals
and murderers. She could...
257
00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:00,941
hurt one of them
258
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:03,782
Maybe we should call the police
259
00:14:03,782 --> 00:14:05,180
No. No cops
260
00:14:07,588 --> 00:14:09,879
But she's in a bad place
We can't find her--
261
00:14:09,879 --> 00:14:11,762
I said no cops!
262
00:14:14,557 --> 00:14:17,535
I'm gonna go ask around
see if anyone's seen her
263
00:14:17,535 --> 00:14:19,206
Keep it on the down-low
264
00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:22,735
Come on
Let's get a drink
265
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:24,331
Make it a double
266
00:14:24,795 --> 00:14:25,991
We wanna catch Karen
267
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,581
we'd better drink like her
268
00:14:29,874 --> 00:14:30,978
Could you pass those nuts?
269
00:14:31,231 --> 00:14:31,935
No problem
270
00:14:34,974 --> 00:14:35,768
Jack?
271
00:14:37,049 --> 00:14:38,136
Sorry, nope
272
00:14:40,812 --> 00:14:43,687
- Jack, we know it's you
- No, it is not me!
273
00:14:43,950 --> 00:14:45,961
My name is Claude Remains
274
00:14:47,731 --> 00:14:50,399
I have dark glasses
I'm from Indiana
275
00:14:50,399 --> 00:14:51,920
Look, I have a mustache
276
00:14:52,917 --> 00:14:54,625
- Not anymore
- Get--! Wh--! Hey!
277
00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:56,156
I can't believe you just did that!
278
00:14:56,156 --> 00:15:00,092
Just hand me over to the gay mafia
the homo nostra, Don Queerleone
279
00:15:04,845 --> 00:15:07,125
So that's what this is about?
You're hiding?
280
00:15:07,125 --> 00:15:08,705
Yes, Toby's meeting me here
281
00:15:08,705 --> 00:15:10,143
He borrowed his mother's Caprice
282
00:15:10,143 --> 00:15:12,170
and he's gonna
smuggle me to Oklahoma
283
00:15:12,452 --> 00:15:15,168
- You're going to Oklahoma?
- Yes. The matinee
284
00:15:18,595 --> 00:15:20,465
We're heading out
We'll see you later?
285
00:15:20,465 --> 00:15:21,882
No, they're after me
286
00:15:21,882 --> 00:15:23,228
Enough of that crap!
287
00:15:23,228 --> 00:15:25,481
No one's after you
It's all in your head
288
00:15:25,481 --> 00:15:26,785
Your fish, sir
289
00:15:27,015 --> 00:15:28,208
But I didn't order--
290
00:15:28,703 --> 00:15:29,651
Oh, my god!
291
00:15:31,093 --> 00:15:32,601
It's a message
It's a message
292
00:15:32,601 --> 00:15:35,060
I'm a dead man!
I'm gonna sleep with the fishes!
293
00:15:35,255 --> 00:15:36,490
But it's the gay mafia
so I'm gonna sleep
294
00:15:36,490 --> 00:15:38,811
with trout almandine drizzled
with lemon and capers!
295
00:15:45,091 --> 00:15:46,726
I don't know where else to look for her
296
00:15:46,726 --> 00:15:49,709
We checked the Gun Club
the FDA testing center
297
00:15:49,709 --> 00:15:52,497
Bill Clinton's office in Harlem--
She's nowhere
298
00:15:52,497 --> 00:15:54,515
- Was he checking me out?
- No, Grace
299
00:15:56,282 --> 00:15:57,490
Oh, my God
300
00:15:58,121 --> 00:15:59,014
Look
301
00:16:01,772 --> 00:16:04,432
Karen? What are you doing?
302
00:16:04,432 --> 00:16:07,951
Nothing, just shooting the breeze
with these three Rosarios
303
00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:09,583
Now leave me alone
304
00:16:10,554 --> 00:16:12,659
Look, we're really sorry
305
00:16:12,659 --> 00:16:14,777
I know we said
some pretty harsh things
306
00:16:14,777 --> 00:16:17,285
We forget sometimes that
you have human feelings
307
00:16:17,588 --> 00:16:18,865
You do, right?
308
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,564
You know, you could be
a little more sensitive
309
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:25,255
This divorce hasn't
exactly been easy for me
310
00:16:25,255 --> 00:16:28,169
I know. You and Stan
were together a long time
311
00:16:28,169 --> 00:16:30,153
What? Stan?
312
00:16:30,153 --> 00:16:32,335
Who said anything
about One Ton Phooey?
313
00:16:32,335 --> 00:16:34,791
Yours is the divorce I'm upset about
314
00:16:34,791 --> 00:16:36,027
What?
315
00:16:36,353 --> 00:16:40,436
You two split up without even
a thought as to how it would affect me
316
00:16:40,683 --> 00:16:43,333
Hey, I know she's no prize
317
00:16:43,616 --> 00:16:45,527
And I know she's no prize, either
318
00:16:47,030 --> 00:16:50,429
But couldn't you two have
stayed together for my sake?
319
00:16:51,451 --> 00:16:52,416
Karen...
320
00:16:53,228 --> 00:16:54,121
What?
321
00:16:54,611 --> 00:16:55,767
Don't you get it?
322
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:59,030
It was always me, you, and Will
323
00:16:59,970 --> 00:17:00,908
It was?
324
00:17:02,047 --> 00:17:07,592
As long as you were together
I felt safe, taken care of, special
325
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:10,254
I just don't know
where I fit in anymore
326
00:17:24,026 --> 00:17:25,708
Karen
327
00:17:27,020 --> 00:17:29,851
No matter what happens between us
328
00:17:29,851 --> 00:17:32,301
nothing could ever change
329
00:17:33,006 --> 00:17:35,357
the way we feel about you
330
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:37,093
Really?
331
00:17:37,093 --> 00:17:39,561
Of course, Karen
We love...
332
00:17:40,248 --> 00:17:42,553
The way we feel about you
333
00:17:43,003 --> 00:17:45,339
So we're a family again?
334
00:17:46,306 --> 00:17:49,417
- As much as we ever were
- Oh!
335
00:18:05,761 --> 00:18:07,256
So we're clear on this, right?
336
00:18:07,493 --> 00:18:09,671
You understand
there is no gay mafia?
337
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:14,510
There is no network of waiters
and florists and cabaret singers
338
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,931
who carry out the commands
of some shadowy don
339
00:18:18,209 --> 00:18:21,671
Or, in this case
eye-shadowy don
340
00:18:24,575 --> 00:18:25,497
Yeah, okay
341
00:18:26,377 --> 00:18:27,877
Yeah, whatever
Yeah. It's no big deal
342
00:18:27,877 --> 00:18:29,102
Doesn't matter, anyway
343
00:18:31,415 --> 00:18:34,743
I let Phillip back in my class
because he is a talented actor
344
00:18:34,743 --> 00:18:37,629
and is under no obligation
to make out with me
345
00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:41,264
Did you hear that?
Phillip's back in, pass it on
346
00:18:41,264 --> 00:18:42,796
Jack! Enough!
347
00:18:42,796 --> 00:18:44,725
There is no gay mafia
It does not exist
348
00:18:44,725 --> 00:18:46,444
I do not know this man!
349
00:18:47,463 --> 00:18:48,945
We are not here together
350
00:18:48,945 --> 00:18:50,943
After you pay the check--
Leave me alone!
351
00:18:53,452 --> 00:18:56,883
Gay mafia
I'm surrounded by idiots
352
00:18:57,687 --> 00:18:59,039
Oh, man!
353
00:18:59,039 --> 00:19:01,310
- My new Gucci suit!
- Sorry, sir
354
00:19:01,547 --> 00:19:02,551
Heh-heh...
355
00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:04,196
Hey, it's not funny
356
00:19:05,028 --> 00:19:07,253
It's a little bit funny
357
00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:15,769
Oh, my God. You're--
358
00:19:15,769 --> 00:19:16,908
You're... you
359
00:19:16,908 --> 00:19:19,647
That's right
and next time it'll be red wine
360
00:19:20,949 --> 00:19:22,291
A word of advice, Will
361
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:24,769
Don't dismiss things
you know nothing about
362
00:19:25,108 --> 00:19:28,804
And don't walk in ten-inch heels--
It's hell on the ankles
363
00:19:29,949 --> 00:19:33,348
What are you talking about?
There is no such thing--
364
00:19:33,348 --> 00:19:34,768
Isn't there?
365
00:19:35,873 --> 00:19:39,279
Well, even if there was
it's not like they control the--
366
00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:40,602
Don't they?
367
00:19:43,942 --> 00:19:44,958
Come on
368
00:19:45,172 --> 00:19:47,726
- It's not like you're the--
- Aren't I?
369
00:19:49,640 --> 00:19:50,563
Listen, Will
370
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:52,568
You're a smart boy
371
00:19:53,063 --> 00:19:54,139
You've got a good face
372
00:19:55,429 --> 00:19:56,835
- A flat stomach
- Hmm
373
00:19:58,189 --> 00:20:02,408
I'd hate to see you banned
from every gym in America
374
00:20:04,752 --> 00:20:05,580
And what?
375
00:20:05,580 --> 00:20:08,384
End up in a Fitness Protection Program?
376
00:20:10,356 --> 00:20:12,125
Don't joke
It's real
377
00:20:14,510 --> 00:20:15,864
So watch yourself, Will
378
00:20:16,191 --> 00:20:17,808
'Cause we're watching you
379
00:20:18,100 --> 00:20:22,491
One wrong move, and
this bitch will be back
380
00:20:29,034 --> 00:20:30,353
Could you give me $2.00
for the coat check girl?
381
00:20:30,353 --> 00:20:31,230
Sure
382
00:20:38,101 --> 00:20:39,431
Okay, I'll ask her
383
00:20:40,486 --> 00:20:42,390
I'm on with the manager
of the Palace Hotel
384
00:20:42,390 --> 00:20:43,486
They're willing to take you back
385
00:20:43,486 --> 00:20:47,182
as long as you're willing to return
the concierge's prosthetic leg
386
00:20:49,031 --> 00:20:51,786
No! I won that leg fair and square
387
00:20:53,055 --> 00:20:56,380
Besides, I need it to hit the
snooze button in the morning
388
00:20:58,086 --> 00:21:00,512
Why don't you just sleep on
the other side of the bed?
389
00:21:00,992 --> 00:21:03,226
Hey! All right
390
00:21:03,503 --> 00:21:04,610
Oh. But... Um...
391
00:21:04,861 --> 00:21:07,217
tell him two of the toes broke off
28858
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