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1
00:00:01,919 --> 00:00:03,754
Previously on
Resident Alien...
2
00:00:03,837 --> 00:00:05,214
This city
is an assault on my senses.
3
00:00:06,381 --> 00:00:08,050
Who the hell
is Galvan/Powell Group?
4
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,469
You have no idea who
you are dealing with.
5
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:14,139
Constellation Ursa Major.
That is where we will find Goliath.
6
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,725
People already think
Patience is a murder town.
7
00:00:16,808 --> 00:00:18,644
You want them to think
it's an alien town, too?
8
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,812
Jessup is trying
to build a five-star resort.
9
00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:22,564
Who says it's gotta be Jessup?
10
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:25,567
That Grady property up on the
ridge is begging to be developed.
11
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:26,693
You think you're pregnant?
12
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,862
When you're ready,
it'll be there.
13
00:00:28,946 --> 00:00:30,531
Dr. Smallwood...
He's trying to fire you.
14
00:00:30,614 --> 00:00:32,241
And now we officially
have no doctor.
15
00:00:32,324 --> 00:00:34,076
Dr. Vanderspeigle
is our only real candidate.
16
00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:35,244
He has a birthday coming up.
17
00:00:36,245 --> 00:00:38,413
The alien
we went to see was dead.
18
00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,499
Goliath held out
for as long as he could.
19
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,167
But it gave
birth to an egg... No!
20
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:44,086
And now it's in Harry's bag.
21
00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:46,088
Do you even know
when it will hatch?
22
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:47,548
Surprise!
23
00:01:12,364 --> 00:01:14,866
So, where is this alien ball,
24
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:18,036
and how do I know
that video wasn't a fake?
25
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,371
You're gonna have to trust me.
26
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:22,040
Last time I saw you,
I was going to have you killed.
27
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:25,877
Seems like trusting you
is moving backwards.
28
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:29,256
I want to see it.
29
00:01:43,312 --> 00:01:44,438
What do you want?
30
00:01:46,148 --> 00:01:49,318
I give you the ball,
I get my life back.
31
00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:52,487
Honorable discharge,
full pension.
32
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,239
Nobody trying to...
33
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:21,600
Get out of my house.
34
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,603
Happy Birthday,
Dr. Vanderspeigle.
35
00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:26,396
Glad to have you back
in Patience.
36
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,899
Wow, Harry.
It's a surprise party.
37
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,984
That's right.
Honoring the birthday
38
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:33,320
of one of our town's
most esteemed residents,
39
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,529
Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle.
40
00:02:34,613 --> 00:02:36,782
Here's to another trip
around the Sun, Dr. V.
41
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,117
By the way, the breaking
and entering was Ben's idea.
42
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:42,496
Now, now. No breaking,
just entering. The door was unlocked.
43
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:44,915
Yeah, after you climbed through
the window and unlocked it.
44
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,209
Out of respect
for our wonderful friend.
45
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,211
Nay, our partner, really,
46
00:02:49,294 --> 00:02:53,298
who deserves to be celebrated for,
if nothing else, his kindness.
47
00:02:53,382 --> 00:02:56,468
You are all trespassing
and should be in prison.
48
00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,638
He's joking.
No, he's not.
49
00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:02,224
Thanks for the heads-up. I
wasn't invited. I'm just hungry.
50
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:03,517
Here, let me
grab this for you.
51
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,143
No! I can put that away!
52
00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,604
Oh, no way. No worrying
about luggage for you.
53
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,982
Whoa, close call there.
54
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,193
All right, let's get
the festivities started.
55
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:16,405
I do not like having people
at my house uninvited.
56
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,573
Well, now you know how Earth
felt when you got here.
57
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,911
Okay, I'll get rid of everyone.
Just take that thing downstairs.
58
00:03:22,994 --> 00:03:24,621
Only half of it is "thing."
59
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,957
The other half is alien.
60
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:30,877
Sure.
61
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:34,089
Oh, Dr. Vanderspeigle,
how was your trip?
62
00:03:34,172 --> 00:03:36,007
I heard you went to a medical
conference in New York.
63
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,176
Yes, I went to an art party.
64
00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,429
And took illegal drugs.
65
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:43,265
You know,
I went to an art party once.
66
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,059
Well, it wasn't an art party. I
guess you could call that art...
67
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,520
Do you have a pet spider?
Because it's in your hair.
68
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:49,938
What?
Yeah.
69
00:03:50,021 --> 00:03:51,106
Oh!
70
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:53,400
No, no, no! No.
Yes.
71
00:03:53,483 --> 00:03:55,527
Where is it?
It is gone now.
72
00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:57,320
What?
73
00:03:59,197 --> 00:04:00,699
Mmm-mmm. Nope.
74
00:04:07,122 --> 00:04:09,750
So, when you gonna ask Dr. V
to be the town doctor, Ben?
75
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,461
I don't know what
you're talking about.
76
00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:15,213
Come on, man. This is what this
is all about. You're wooing him.
77
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:18,008
Look. Word of advice -- get
him drunk before you ask him.
78
00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:19,342
It'll help smooth the woo.
79
00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,179
I'm just showing appreciation.
There's no woo.
80
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,807
Hey, Ben. Thanks for
pulling all this together.
81
00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:29,811
Um, Harry's not really
feeling very well,
82
00:04:29,895 --> 00:04:31,563
so maybe we could
do this another night.
83
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:32,647
Uh, can't.
84
00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:35,859
It's a special night for Harry,
and if he's not feeling well,
85
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:39,154
then, by golly, we will nurse him
back to health together as a town.
86
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,280
We're staying.
87
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,240
Woo.
88
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,869
Ben, that's very...
Excuse me.
89
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:50,457
Okay. If an alien baby
kills you, it's not my fault.
90
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:57,172
I do not understand
why humans celebrate their births.
91
00:04:57,255 --> 00:05:00,801
Everyone who is alive has
been born. It is not special.
92
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:04,387
A birthday party is just
a participation trophy.
93
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,684
It's my grandmother's
secret deviled egg recipe.
94
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,854
I snuck into her desk
and stole it when I was 10.
95
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,689
She's hated me ever since.
96
00:05:14,773 --> 00:05:16,650
Mmm. Well, these are insane.
97
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:19,152
I mean, it's horrible to lose
your grandmother, but worth it.
98
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:22,280
Last Christmas, she said
she hopes she dies soon,
99
00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:25,200
so she can haunt me
and steal my soul.
100
00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:26,701
She holds a grudge.
101
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:30,497
Mmm, not for me.
I'm not a fan of yolk mixtures
102
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,124
or having my soul
taken by an angry ghost.
103
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:34,209
Just try one.
104
00:05:34,292 --> 00:05:36,211
I would, but I said no.
105
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,510
Fine, yeah. I'll have a bite.
106
00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:49,391
Oh, my God.
107
00:05:50,058 --> 00:05:52,602
Mmm. It's a delicate farm
in my mouth.
108
00:05:52,769 --> 00:05:54,104
Mmm!
109
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:56,064
No. You doubted them.
110
00:05:56,147 --> 00:05:58,024
I didn't doubt it.
You don't deserve a second one.
111
00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:01,194
No, I do. The second one
is even better somehow.
112
00:06:01,278 --> 00:06:05,031
It's like I can taste the farmer's
wife calling her family in for supper,
113
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:07,158
mmm, "Comin', Mama."
114
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:09,786
Mmm.
115
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,329
"I'm comin'."
116
00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:14,082
But I wanna
taste farm supper...
117
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:17,752
What did you do with it?
118
00:06:17,836 --> 00:06:20,213
It is in the bunker.
It is safe.
119
00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:21,923
Glad the alien
in the cellar is safe.
120
00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:24,342
Harry, what if it
hatches down there?
121
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:29,222
Mmm, Alien babies
have a big appetite
122
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,892
for high-calorie junky food.
123
00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:33,101
Uh-huh.
124
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,437
There's nothing
more junky than a human.
125
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,772
We are in danger.
126
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:39,941
We have to get everyone
out of here.
127
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,568
Make yourself look sick.
128
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:43,778
That's good. Yes. Good.
129
00:06:44,529 --> 00:06:46,448
I have not done anything yet.
130
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,825
Oh. Sorry.
131
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:51,620
It's good, though.
132
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,206
There he is!
133
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:59,252
For he's a jolly good fellow
134
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,880
For he's a jolly good fellow
135
00:07:01,963 --> 00:07:05,467
For he's a jolly good fellow
136
00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,470
Which nobody can deny
137
00:07:08,553 --> 00:07:09,596
All right.
138
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:11,139
You think
I am a good fellow?
139
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:12,974
And jolly.
140
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,726
And so sick... Sick.
Mmm.
141
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:18,229
Sick of being alone, maybe.
142
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,815
It's your birthday.
It is your special day.
143
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,484
All this, it's for you.
144
00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:25,153
Plus, cake. If, uh,
Jay ever shows up with it.
145
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:26,780
What?
Can it be pie?
146
00:07:26,863 --> 00:07:28,114
No.
Pie it is.
147
00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,741
I feel better.
You can stay.
148
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:30,825
Harry.
149
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:32,744
You sure,
Doc? You still look kind of pale.
150
00:07:32,827 --> 00:07:34,496
It is my Dutch skin.
151
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,832
You hear that everyone?
Our good cheer has cured him.
152
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,542
I'm gonna get
that pie for you.
153
00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:42,921
Great. I have enough eggs to last
all night, but we may need more ice,
154
00:07:43,004 --> 00:07:44,798
because if they don't stay chilled,
they go south fast.
155
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:47,842
I got you, Deputy. You got ice down
in that meat freezer of yours, right?
156
00:07:47,926 --> 00:07:49,344
Do not go down there.
157
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:50,679
The floor's cracked.
158
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:56,476
And if you step on it,
you'll break your mama's back. Here.
159
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,523
What'd he say
about my mama?
160
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,442
Today is all
about celebrating
161
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:08,113
the birth of a man I murdered
and threw in the frozen lake.
162
00:08:08,697 --> 00:08:10,699
Ice seems appropriate.
163
00:08:10,782 --> 00:08:13,159
Sulfur.
164
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:25,964
Hello?
165
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:38,351
Wow, soda.
166
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,770
You handling heavy
machinery later?
167
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,940
Right, you were out of town. We
haven't talked. I stopped drinking.
168
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,025
Really?
Mmm-hmm.
169
00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,401
Since when?
One o'clock.
170
00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,194
Last night?
This afternoon.
171
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,863
You gotta start somewhere.
172
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:52,365
You know, been eating healthy,
getting back in shape.
173
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,117
Oh, I even started
going to the gym again.
174
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:55,368
Wow, I love that.
175
00:08:55,452 --> 00:08:56,578
Feels pretty good.
176
00:08:57,620 --> 00:09:00,123
Hey, still waiting on an
invite to come here tonight.
177
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,584
Email not a thing anymore?
178
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,085
Open wide.
179
00:09:04,836 --> 00:09:05,837
Hey, hon.
Hi.
180
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,547
You having fun?
Yeah.
181
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,884
Um, are they gonna do anything
about that sulfur smell?
182
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:11,968
I'm gonna barf.
183
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,970
I don't smell anything.
184
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:17,307
Hey, uh,
remember when you were pregnant,
185
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,476
and you had that sense
of smell like a superhero?
186
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,436
Hope you're not pregnant.
187
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:22,562
Could you imagine?
188
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,689
Yeah, right?
189
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,442
I'm gonna get some sweet
gherkins. You want anything?
190
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,526
Oh, sure don't.
191
00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:31,446
Sure don't.
192
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,907
This is a problem.
193
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:37,243
Even at birth,
my alien kind is very strong and agile.
194
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:39,412
That thing could be
anywhere by now.
195
00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:42,999
If it were a fully human baby,
it would be much easier.
196
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:44,667
Human infants
are the only mammal
197
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,961
whose main attribute
is helplessly flopping.
198
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,173
Need some help
with that ice down there, Doc?
199
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,299
No.
200
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:53,426
I am good at ice-carrying.
201
00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,606
You sure?
I'll come down and help.
202
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:10,193
No! No.
I want to carry it myself.
203
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,529
The ice feels good
on my nipples.
204
00:10:15,323 --> 00:10:17,325
Thanks, Doc. Damn,
you smell like sulfur.
205
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,702
What,
you have an outhouse party down there?
206
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,621
No. It is not sulfur.
207
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,331
What are you, crazy?
208
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:27,085
It is the deputy's eggs.
They are stinky.
209
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,294
Well, that makes sense.
210
00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,046
Yeah, those things
are delicious but deadly.
211
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,715
You gotta stop at two,
or it's like eating a butt gun.
212
00:10:33,508 --> 00:10:36,594
I would not fire
a gun made out of butts.
213
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:42,600
The mayonnaise is homemade,
and I mix the yolks by hand.
214
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,812
And I don't use canola oil
like most people.
215
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,941
The key is olive oil. It really
brings out the eggy flavor.
216
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,109
Hmm.
217
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,277
Yum.
218
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:55,155
Excuse me. Just one second.
Okay. Okay.
219
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,671
And
I'm sorry for all I've taken
220
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,799
And I'm sorry
for all I've let loose
221
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:20,638
I wanna be true
222
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:24,475
I wanna be forgiven
223
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:29,981
For givin' up
224
00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:33,693
On everything I knew
225
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,614
I wanna be true
226
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,450
I'm serious. If you're wearing
nurse scrubs and you're running,
227
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,828
stores will pretty much let you
take anything for free. Uh-huh.
228
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,414
Yeah. Of course.
229
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:48,958
No, seriously, anything.
230
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:52,295
Okay, so, I marked
all the military installations
231
00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,380
where they could be holding
the alien ball.
232
00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:57,592
I circled the underground ones
nobody knows about.
233
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,136
Ben's throwing a
surprise birthday party for Dr. V,
234
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:03,389
but he's just doing that to trick
him into being town doctor again.
235
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,974
It's this big secret.
236
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:07,060
Yeah. I told everyone.
237
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:09,270
Town doctor?
238
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,105
What happened
to Dr. Ethan?
239
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:13,233
He left town the night
the Men in Black were here.
240
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:14,901
You mean, the night
you told the Men in Black
241
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,153
- Dr. Ethan was the alien?
- Yeah, that night.
242
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,280
Guess Dr. Ethan
just didn't like it here.
243
00:12:21,115 --> 00:12:22,575
Is your brain in your butt?
244
00:12:23,076 --> 00:12:24,077
I hope not.
245
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,745
Don't you realize
what happened?
246
00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,331
The Men in Black
took Dr. Ethan.
247
00:12:28,414 --> 00:12:30,333
As soon as they figure out
he's human,
248
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:32,418
they'll know the alien
is still in Patience
249
00:12:32,502 --> 00:12:33,836
and come back looking for him.
250
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,631
We have to go to that
party and warn ASTA.
251
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,633
How? We have a babysitter.
252
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:42,679
We'll get her
to fall asleep.
253
00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:43,763
I know what to do.
254
00:12:44,347 --> 00:12:47,141
Same way my Aunt Azadeh
conks out when she visits.
255
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,936
Sleeping pills?
No.
256
00:12:51,521 --> 00:12:53,690
Calm-voiced nature videos.
257
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,735
What you gonna do
with all them pickles?
258
00:12:57,819 --> 00:13:01,823
Ah, those are not pickles. Those
are sweet gherkins, or, uh, cornichons.
259
00:13:01,906 --> 00:13:04,409
Did you just correct me
on how to say a pickle?
260
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:06,369
No. I'm just saying.
261
00:13:07,704 --> 00:13:09,122
I'm gonna get some punch.
262
00:13:10,581 --> 00:13:12,292
How's the punch?
It fell.
263
00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:13,376
What?
264
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:15,628
What?
265
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:19,674
What?
266
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,509
What?
267
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,721
Oh, no.
268
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:26,764
I didn't...
269
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:38,401
It's pretty, huh?
270
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,237
Yeah, it's amazing.
271
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,949
I used to spend a lot of time
here when you were dating Harry.
272
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:48,661
Oh, I wouldn't call it dating. It
was really more of a drive by.
273
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:52,707
So, any exciting news?
274
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:55,543
No, I haven't taken
the test yet.
275
00:13:57,670 --> 00:14:01,841
If I take the test and it's positive,
then I'm pregnant.
276
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,260
Yeah, that's not how it works.
277
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:10,391
You know, I was just talking
to Harry about New York.
278
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:14,395
All I could think about was how exciting
it would be to live there, you know?
279
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,939
The art shows,
the theater, all of it.
280
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:19,734
Why can't that be my life?
281
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:21,903
I don't know. Why can't it?
282
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,448
Because I'm stuck here,
pushing out babies like a stray dog.
283
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:27,617
The ones with all the nipples?
284
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,620
So many nipples.
Huge, huge nipples.
285
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:33,373
You adopt one, it turns over.
Nipples!
286
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:41,464
Come on.
287
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,508
Let's go pee on a stick.
288
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:46,386
Hold your breath. Liv just
brought out a new tray of eggs.
289
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:53,351
The size
of the bull elk's antlers
290
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:56,562
depends on how much
sunlight the elk gets.
291
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:02,068
Here, this elk basks in the
warm rays of the midday sun.
292
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:07,407
A full-sized male's antlers
can grow up to an inch per day
293
00:15:07,490 --> 00:15:09,075
during the summer months.
294
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:12,078
They're typically fully grown
by mid-August.
295
00:15:12,161 --> 00:15:14,163
If he is able to...
296
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,165
Hey! Where are you going?
297
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,458
Bike ride?
Taking out the garbage!
298
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,460
Just come home
before your parents get back.
299
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,088
No drugs!
300
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:26,050
She's a horrible
babysitter. Yeah.
301
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,189
Whoa.
302
00:15:51,075 --> 00:15:52,201
What the hell?
303
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,253
- Harry?
- No, just me.
304
00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,213
Just me in here peeing.
Sorry.
305
00:16:05,756 --> 00:16:08,009
God, I can't hold the
stick. My hand's shaking too much.
306
00:16:08,092 --> 00:16:09,427
Okay,
give it to me. I'll hold it.
307
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:10,511
- You sure?
- Yeah.
308
00:16:10,928 --> 00:16:12,555
Okay,
it's in position. Go.
309
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:15,558
And you just pissed
on my hand.
310
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:29,280
There you are.
What are you doing?
311
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,618
I am enjoying
my birthday candy.
312
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:36,996
Have you checked on the egg?
313
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,539
'Cause if there's any chance
that it will hatch,
314
00:16:38,623 --> 00:16:40,500
we have to get everyone
out of this party right now.
315
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:43,002
The party cannot end.
There is pie coming.
316
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,004
Do not worry.
The baby will not hatch.
317
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:48,090
It is definitely
still inside of its shell.
318
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,345
Nowhere else.
319
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,430
Okay. It's still a party,
though,
320
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,767
so you can't just hide in the bedroom,
or people will be suspicious.
321
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:01,312
Come talk to someone,
and don't be weird.
322
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:03,856
Here we go.
323
00:17:04,732 --> 00:17:07,735
I will talk to Dan
because he has food.
324
00:17:09,695 --> 00:17:11,113
And that is not weird.
325
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:14,617
Hi, Dan.
326
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:19,914
Here is some money
for my meal,
327
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:24,794
and I'll also take
a side of fries at the table.
328
00:17:38,891 --> 00:17:40,101
Really sorry about that.
329
00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,812
Oh, don't worry.
I've been peed on before.
330
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,898
I have too.
I kind of like it.
331
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:49,235
I was talking about a frog
I picked up when I was a kid.
332
00:17:49,318 --> 00:17:50,945
Yeah, frogs. Me too.
333
00:17:53,531 --> 00:17:55,241
Oh, time's up.
334
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:02,498
Shit.
335
00:18:08,838 --> 00:18:10,131
Congratulations.
336
00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:13,009
You gonna tell Ben
the good news?
337
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,052
Not until I'm convinced
it's good news.
338
00:18:16,804 --> 00:18:19,015
Why? If you get overwhelmed,
339
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,226
just think back on a time
when life was simple,
340
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:24,854
and you were just a woman
pissing on another woman.
341
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:28,024
You got this, Hawthorne.
342
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,280
Please darlin'
343
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:38,409
Take mercy
on my broken heart, yeah
344
00:18:38,492 --> 00:18:40,870
And take my soul if you want
what's left of it
345
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,288
You're not
gonna believe it.
346
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:45,374
Eugena Plunkett came in,
saying she saw a UFO
347
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,335
a couple of months ago
in Patience.
348
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:51,339
Can you imagine?
That seems crazy.
349
00:18:51,422 --> 00:18:54,133
Remember that camping trip
when we were kids,
350
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:57,219
when Ben saw something
and he ran,
351
00:18:57,303 --> 00:19:00,306
and everyone followed him,
and I stayed back by the fire?
352
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:01,641
Yeah, I think so.
353
00:19:01,724 --> 00:19:03,768
But he didn't
see anything, right?
354
00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:05,936
No.
No.
355
00:19:06,312 --> 00:19:07,313
Yeah.
356
00:19:07,772 --> 00:19:08,773
No.
357
00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:10,107
But I did.
358
00:19:11,776 --> 00:19:13,486
Really? What?
359
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:16,405
A UFO.
360
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,576
A real-life UFO.
361
00:19:21,327 --> 00:19:24,664
Don't you wanna believe
that we're not alone,
362
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,917
like, that there's something
bigger than us out there?
363
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:31,587
Sure, um,
but not in Patience.
364
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,673
I mean, we just barely
got a pizza place.
365
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,800
I am sure there
are not aliens here.
366
00:19:37,259 --> 00:19:38,427
You're probably right.
367
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:42,765
It's just fun to think
about sometimes.
368
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,225
Hello.
Hey.
369
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,935
Jay's here.
370
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:47,853
Finally.
Okay.
371
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:49,563
Pretend like you're talking
to me, would you?
372
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:50,690
I am talking to you.
373
00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:55,069
Right. Oh God. I just
get so nervous when she's around.
374
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,529
I've been giving
her space, you know?
375
00:19:56,612 --> 00:19:58,406
But it just feels like
it's been forever,
376
00:19:58,489 --> 00:19:59,949
and her 18th birthday
is in two days.
377
00:20:00,032 --> 00:20:01,784
Am I talking fast? I'm
talking fast. Mmm-hmm.
378
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:03,911
She's driving now.
379
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:05,705
Yeah, she's our best customer.
380
00:20:05,788 --> 00:20:07,957
We've given her,
like, six tickets.
381
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,500
Oh. Oh.
382
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:12,294
I'm so sorry. Breathe.
383
00:20:12,378 --> 00:20:14,130
Okay.
384
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,756
Yeah.
She's coming.
385
00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:17,466
She's on her way.
Don't pass out.
386
00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:21,387
Hi.
Hey, how are you?
387
00:20:21,846 --> 00:20:24,098
How are you?
I'm good.
388
00:20:24,181 --> 00:20:29,103
Um, so, my birthday's
coming up, which you know.
389
00:20:29,186 --> 00:20:31,522
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was there.
390
00:20:33,107 --> 00:20:34,984
Yeah, so, look,
I was wondering
391
00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:39,029
if you might want to do
something that day.
392
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:41,198
Just, um, you and me.
393
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:43,909
Really?
394
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:47,496
Yeah, you know, just,
like, lunch or something.
395
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,582
It's no big deal.
Just hang out.
396
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:51,876
Uh, I would love that.
397
00:20:53,169 --> 00:20:55,212
Okay. Um, great.
398
00:20:55,296 --> 00:20:56,964
Pick me up
at the diner at 1 :00?
399
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:59,425
Maybe we can check out
that new Mexican place?
400
00:21:00,092 --> 00:21:01,093
I can't wait.
401
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,179
Okay, um...
402
00:21:04,180 --> 00:21:05,431
I'm gonna go...
403
00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:08,601
I'm gonna go eat as much food as I
can before Mr. Hawthorne kicks me out.
404
00:21:08,684 --> 00:21:09,810
Sure. Cool.
405
00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,296
Hey, are you okay?
406
00:21:37,379 --> 00:21:38,964
Yeah, I'm great.
407
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:42,009
I just need to pee.
408
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,232
Let me in.
I know you're upset.
409
00:22:04,365 --> 00:22:06,867
I'm fine. Just sneezed.
410
00:22:06,951 --> 00:22:08,828
Um, have you seen Harry?
411
00:22:08,911 --> 00:22:11,580
Don't be too self-conscious. I
had a bunch of them eggs, too.
412
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:13,499
You get in line.
I'ma be a while.
413
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,626
Don't stand by the door neither,
all right?
414
00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:17,837
You're the one that said
not to be self-conscious.
415
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,213
Get away
from the damn door!
416
00:22:19,296 --> 00:22:20,714
I still see your feet!
All right.
417
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:29,557
Looking for something?
418
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:31,559
I wanted to heat up pie.
419
00:22:31,642 --> 00:22:34,103
The baby hatched,
and you knew it!
420
00:22:34,728 --> 00:22:36,939
What? This is news to me.
421
00:22:37,398 --> 00:22:39,608
How did you not tell me
this sooner?
422
00:22:39,692 --> 00:22:41,360
Stop it. I saw it
in the bathroom!
423
00:22:41,902 --> 00:22:43,529
And it has teeth.
424
00:22:43,612 --> 00:22:45,781
What kind of baby has teeth?
425
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,491
An alien baby.
426
00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:51,537
They're very good
at ripping things or people.
427
00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:54,874
Everyone, we have
to leave the house!
428
00:22:56,834 --> 00:22:58,878
No. No, no.
I saw it run outside.
429
00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:02,298
Everyone, we need to stay
inside the house!
430
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,801
Harry. We should
keep everyone together.
431
00:23:06,844 --> 00:23:09,471
Outside is not safe.
Come on.
432
00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:19,106
Now, any cop that's ever been
a cop in D.C. is there, right?
433
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:22,526
That's just the way it is
at Kelly's when a cop retires.
434
00:23:23,277 --> 00:23:26,363
So, the next thing you know, we
hear all these people screaming, right?
435
00:23:26,447 --> 00:23:28,616
We don't know what's going on.
Did a fight break out, you know?
436
00:23:28,699 --> 00:23:33,537
Who knows? And I look,
and parting the sea of bodies is a goat.
437
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:36,832
What? Jesse had
snuck a goat into the bar
438
00:23:36,916 --> 00:23:38,083
and just let it loose.
439
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:41,503
See, now that was Jesse!
440
00:23:42,963 --> 00:23:44,214
Good to see you laughing.
441
00:23:44,965 --> 00:23:47,384
Hey, Dad,
can I talk to you for a second? Okay.
442
00:23:48,135 --> 00:23:49,553
And this other time...
443
00:23:50,846 --> 00:23:53,390
The alien baby hatched.
It's loose!
444
00:23:53,474 --> 00:23:54,642
Is that a bad thing?
445
00:23:54,725 --> 00:23:55,768
It's not a good thing.
446
00:23:56,143 --> 00:23:58,395
Keep everyone together,
and don't let anyone outside, okay?
447
00:23:58,479 --> 00:23:59,605
Harry's really worried.
448
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:02,691
He doesn't look worried.
Huh?
449
00:24:04,068 --> 00:24:06,737
I do not like this gift.
450
00:24:06,820 --> 00:24:08,739
Didn't I, uh, give you that
last Christmas?
451
00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:12,117
Well, maybe if someone had invited me,
I'd have time to shop.
452
00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:13,577
Plus, it smells
like doodoo, baby.
453
00:24:16,664 --> 00:24:19,249
Harry, can I ask you a
quick question about the pie?
454
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:21,377
The Mayor gives cheap gifts.
455
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:23,420
Aw, actually, he worked
pretty hard on that.
456
00:24:23,504 --> 00:24:27,633
Not cheap. It happens to be beeswax,
nature's gold.
457
00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:29,426
Isn't gold nature's gold?
458
00:24:29,927 --> 00:24:30,928
Not to Ben.
459
00:24:31,011 --> 00:24:34,014
What if it's outside?
Then maybe we should stay here.
460
00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:37,267
And if we're going to stay here,
we should open presents.
461
00:24:37,351 --> 00:24:39,269
ASTA! ASTA! Yeah,
do not go outside.
462
00:24:39,353 --> 00:24:40,437
ASTA!
463
00:24:40,521 --> 00:24:42,356
We should stay inside
while we can't go outside.
464
00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:43,607
- Come on!
- Come on!
465
00:24:43,691 --> 00:24:44,692
Harry...
466
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:47,444
Let's go to the
other window. Yeah.
467
00:24:55,786 --> 00:24:57,496
Cool, a raccoon!
468
00:24:58,163 --> 00:24:59,581
Aw, look at the cute little...
469
00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:04,211
What the...
470
00:25:10,134 --> 00:25:11,301
Do you know what this means?
471
00:25:12,177 --> 00:25:13,804
Raccoon bones
don't taste good?
472
00:25:14,179 --> 00:25:16,557
Harry is breeding
alien babies.
473
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,853
How long do I have to keep
everybody here for?
474
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:22,730
I mean, is it safe outside?
475
00:25:22,813 --> 00:25:25,065
Did the "humalien"
thing run away?
476
00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:29,653
I do not know what the alien
will do. It is a hybrid.
477
00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:33,073
The alien part of it will want
to come back when it is hungry.
478
00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:34,533
It will know
there is food here.
479
00:25:34,616 --> 00:25:36,493
You mean us, right?
480
00:25:36,577 --> 00:25:38,620
No, of course not.
481
00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:41,832
It will want to eat the egg
sack that it was born in.
482
00:25:42,166 --> 00:25:43,167
Okay.
483
00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:44,501
Then us.
484
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:49,173
Jesus! I'll go
downstairs and look for it,
485
00:25:49,256 --> 00:25:51,800
and maybe snack on the sack.
486
00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:52,968
Ew.
487
00:25:53,093 --> 00:25:54,511
I need something savory.
488
00:25:54,970 --> 00:25:58,515
You know, about it
maybe eating us thing...
489
00:25:58,599 --> 00:26:00,309
You got bullets
for those guns?
490
00:26:01,602 --> 00:26:02,770
They're all loaded.
491
00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:05,105
The real me was rednecky.
492
00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:11,987
Hey Dan. Uh...
493
00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:13,989
I've been carrying around
494
00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:16,450
some of Jesse's ashes with
me for a while now, right?
495
00:26:16,533 --> 00:26:18,619
I'm thinking maybe
it's time to let him go.
496
00:26:18,702 --> 00:26:21,205
You know,
spread his ashes. I love that idea.
497
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:24,166
I think you'll be happier not
carrying that weight around.
498
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:26,293
Yeah. We used to fish
together a lot.
499
00:26:26,376 --> 00:26:29,379
So I thought about
doing it here, on the lake.
500
00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:31,965
You know, maybe we have
a little memorial for him.
501
00:26:32,049 --> 00:26:33,675
I'd love for you
to be a part of it.
502
00:26:33,759 --> 00:26:34,843
I'd be honored.
503
00:26:35,552 --> 00:26:36,845
Anytime.
Great.
504
00:26:37,304 --> 00:26:38,305
All right, let's go.
505
00:26:38,764 --> 00:26:40,557
Uh, not now.
506
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:42,643
Why not?
507
00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:46,647
Too windy. Not good
ash-spreading weather.
508
00:26:47,189 --> 00:26:48,774
Well, you the expert, right?
509
00:26:49,650 --> 00:26:50,901
I'ma get me some food.
510
00:26:59,576 --> 00:27:01,161
Hey! Dr. V!
511
00:27:01,245 --> 00:27:02,955
Just thought I'd say hi.
512
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:05,457
Wow, great work space.
513
00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:08,085
You, uh, build birdhouses
down here?
514
00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:11,004
You're a tinkerer?
You like to tinker?
515
00:27:11,713 --> 00:27:12,714
Yes.
516
00:27:13,048 --> 00:27:17,594
Sometimes it makes me shiver because
of the warm urine leaving my body.
517
00:27:17,678 --> 00:27:19,096
Oh, no, that's, uh...
518
00:27:21,723 --> 00:27:23,058
Anyway, hey, um...
519
00:27:24,268 --> 00:27:26,687
Wanted to talk to you
about something.
520
00:27:26,770 --> 00:27:30,774
Unfortunately,
Dr. Smallwood has decided to retire,
521
00:27:30,858 --> 00:27:34,528
and we have found ourselves,
once again, without a town doctor.
522
00:27:34,820 --> 00:27:37,573
And, yes,
I can see by the concern on your face
523
00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:40,033
that you understand what a
difficult position this puts me in.
524
00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:41,577
But you know
what's even better?
525
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:46,290
Is you returning as our town
doctor. What do you think?
526
00:27:46,373 --> 00:27:47,416
I will consider it.
527
00:27:49,209 --> 00:27:50,752
What the heck was that?
528
00:27:51,712 --> 00:27:53,589
It was an Earth animal.
529
00:27:56,633 --> 00:27:58,427
It's a sick raccoon.
530
00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:00,971
We should probably go away.
531
00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:02,723
Don't get close to it.
532
00:28:02,806 --> 00:28:05,475
Yep. Well, say no more.
That's my cue.
533
00:28:05,559 --> 00:28:07,644
Uh, I'll go warn the others.
534
00:28:11,148 --> 00:28:12,149
Hello?
535
00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,359
Oh, hi.
536
00:28:14,735 --> 00:28:16,320
Really? That's amazing.
537
00:28:27,831 --> 00:28:29,666
You know, if those raccoons
do have rabies,
538
00:28:29,750 --> 00:28:31,126
we should find them
and take them somewhere.
539
00:28:31,210 --> 00:28:32,961
Shit, I ain't messing
with no damn rabies.
540
00:28:33,045 --> 00:28:35,214
You know, 100% of people
who have rabies go insane,
541
00:28:35,297 --> 00:28:37,799
but only 20% of insane
people have rabies?
542
00:28:37,883 --> 00:28:39,885
That's an Internet fact.
Mmm.
543
00:28:41,887 --> 00:28:43,096
This stuff's pretty good.
544
00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:45,557
It's spicier than I remember.
545
00:28:47,434 --> 00:28:49,686
It's tangy. You know?
546
00:28:49,770 --> 00:28:51,313
I'll have some of that.
Yeah.
547
00:28:53,190 --> 00:28:55,943
Well, looks like
New York's out of the picture.
548
00:28:56,026 --> 00:28:57,986
What? Why?
549
00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:01,406
Ben just got a call from some
company that wants to put a resort here.
550
00:29:01,490 --> 00:29:03,158
Says he's gonna
be mayor for decades.
551
00:29:03,242 --> 00:29:04,993
Nobody's putting
a resort here.
552
00:29:05,619 --> 00:29:07,454
What are you talking about?
I don't know.
553
00:29:07,537 --> 00:29:10,123
He says he took pictures of the
Grady land to sell them on the idea,
554
00:29:10,207 --> 00:29:11,208
and now they wanna do it.
555
00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:14,795
What? He said he was using
those pictures for the town website.
556
00:29:16,505 --> 00:29:17,547
What?
557
00:29:17,631 --> 00:29:18,632
Excuse me.
558
00:29:21,718 --> 00:29:23,929
Hey, didn't realize
you were still here.
559
00:29:24,012 --> 00:29:25,806
Yeah, just thought
I'd grab something to eat.
560
00:29:25,889 --> 00:29:27,349
That was like an hour ago.
561
00:29:27,975 --> 00:29:29,768
I guess I've been
eating for an hour.
562
00:29:32,562 --> 00:29:35,107
Didn't realize I hired
jughead to deliver the cake.
563
00:29:35,691 --> 00:29:37,401
Hey, what are you two
talking about?
564
00:29:37,484 --> 00:29:39,611
Oh, I was just
catching up with D'Arcy
565
00:29:39,695 --> 00:29:41,655
about the pictures that
you took for the resort.
566
00:29:41,738 --> 00:29:43,365
You know, the ones
that you lied to me about,
567
00:29:43,448 --> 00:29:45,117
that you said were for
the "town website."
568
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,078
Well, I plan on using those
pictures for the town website as well,
569
00:29:48,161 --> 00:29:49,288
so, not a lie.
570
00:29:49,371 --> 00:29:50,831
Hey, uh,
should I order more food?
571
00:29:50,914 --> 00:29:52,833
'Cause Jay is going through it
like a lawnmower.
572
00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:54,835
Nope, you totally
lied to me.
573
00:29:54,918 --> 00:29:57,879
I mean, Jesus. We spent the
whole day rock climbing, ATV-ing,
574
00:29:57,963 --> 00:30:00,632
what, so you could just bring
in a resort and destroy the town?
575
00:30:00,716 --> 00:30:02,009
You went rock climbing?
576
00:30:02,592 --> 00:30:04,052
A little bit. Small rock.
577
00:30:04,136 --> 00:30:07,639
So, when I got home from my mom's,
and I said, "What have you been doing?"
578
00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:09,266
And you said, "Nothing,"
579
00:30:09,349 --> 00:30:11,768
was "nothing" rock climbing
with D'Arcy?
580
00:30:11,852 --> 00:30:13,437
Uh, you know, I mean...
581
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:16,106
Isn't "nothing" kind of like
a catchall expression?
582
00:30:16,189 --> 00:30:17,691
It really could mean
lots of different things.
583
00:30:17,774 --> 00:30:19,067
No. It means nothing.
584
00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:21,653
You know, what you and D'Arcy did,
it wasn't nothing.
585
00:30:21,737 --> 00:30:23,905
It was something,
and for some reason,
586
00:30:23,989 --> 00:30:25,949
you just didn't
tell me about it.
587
00:30:26,033 --> 00:30:27,534
I just didn't think
it was a big deal.
588
00:30:27,617 --> 00:30:28,994
Oh, shit. Uh, look.
589
00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:31,038
I hate to insert myself here,
590
00:30:31,121 --> 00:30:33,123
but it looks like
Ben could use a little help,
591
00:30:33,206 --> 00:30:36,084
so, just know D'Arcy kissed Ben,
not the other way around.
592
00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,003
He's a completely
innocent bystander.
593
00:30:39,129 --> 00:30:40,130
You kissed Ben?
594
00:30:47,554 --> 00:30:51,183
What a fun development.
You two kissed each other.
595
00:30:51,266 --> 00:30:53,185
I told you to tell her
about the kiss.
596
00:30:53,935 --> 00:30:55,187
You know, this is on me.
597
00:30:55,270 --> 00:30:57,689
I was drunk,
and in a really horrible place.
598
00:30:58,065 --> 00:30:59,441
I'm sorry. I shouldn't
have done it.
599
00:30:59,524 --> 00:31:00,942
It's not Ben's fault.
Well put.
600
00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:03,195
If it wasn't your fault, then why
wouldn't you just tell me about it?
601
00:31:03,278 --> 00:31:04,905
I mean, then again,
why would you?
602
00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:07,949
'Cause I'm only just now hearing about
you putting a stupid resort in town.
603
00:31:08,033 --> 00:31:10,827
What resort? You can't put
a resort in Patience.
604
00:31:10,911 --> 00:31:12,871
See? I didn't tell anybody.
605
00:31:13,330 --> 00:31:15,582
Is this the resort you were
talking about that Ben wanted?
606
00:31:15,665 --> 00:31:17,959
Yeah. I think it's a bad idea,
so does my mom.
607
00:31:18,043 --> 00:31:19,878
I told Mike,
thought he could keep a secret.
608
00:31:19,961 --> 00:31:22,798
You can't keep secrets from somebody
who buys your bear claws every morning.
609
00:31:22,881 --> 00:31:25,133
It took two bear claws
to find out about the kiss.
610
00:31:25,217 --> 00:31:27,219
Why is everyone
listening to this?
611
00:31:27,302 --> 00:31:29,721
'Cause you're having a public fight,
and we have ears.
612
00:31:29,805 --> 00:31:32,432
I'm not having a fight.
I am explaining to my wife
613
00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:35,227
why I didn't tell her about hanging
out with D'Arcy a couple nights ago.
614
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,687
So, you hung out at night,
too? Okay, now it's a fight.
615
00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:38,897
I'm not fighting.
616
00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:41,733
I don't care if he hangs out
with D'Arcy. They're friends.
617
00:31:42,651 --> 00:31:45,487
I just don't know why you
wouldn't just tell me about this.
618
00:31:45,570 --> 00:31:49,032
After we left the Grady land,
D'Arcy came back to the house.
619
00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:53,161
She found some weed that she had
hid in Max's closet, and we smoked it.
620
00:31:53,245 --> 00:31:55,580
Wait, you hid pot
in my son's closet?
621
00:31:55,664 --> 00:31:58,583
Yeah, but I hid it back in high school
when I was banging your husband.
622
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:01,086
Thought it was time
for a hard joke.
623
00:32:01,169 --> 00:32:02,170
No.
No?
624
00:32:02,254 --> 00:32:05,590
Look, this is ridiculous. Nothing
happened. She fell asleep.
625
00:32:05,674 --> 00:32:07,926
I tucked her into Max's bed.
End of story.
626
00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:09,136
Wait, you slept over?
627
00:32:09,219 --> 00:32:11,513
It appears the story
has a few more chapters.
628
00:32:11,596 --> 00:32:14,391
Wait, you smoked 15-year-old
weed? I did. It was not good.
629
00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:17,602
Ben? Yes,
D'Arcy slept over in Max's bed,
630
00:32:17,686 --> 00:32:20,939
and I am telling you now
because I have nothing to hide.
631
00:32:21,022 --> 00:32:22,607
So, where were you when I came
home the next morning?
632
00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:24,276
Ben told me to hide.
I snuck out the window.
633
00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:27,279
I made a gesture.
You took it to mean "hide."
634
00:32:27,362 --> 00:32:29,239
I also stole one of your kid's
candy bars. I'm sorry.
635
00:32:29,322 --> 00:32:31,700
I can't believe this.
You were hiding in my house?
636
00:32:32,117 --> 00:32:35,120
We hung out after that. You
couldn't just tell me all of this?
637
00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:37,497
This whole thing was fake.
638
00:32:38,540 --> 00:32:40,292
I really thought
you were my friend.
639
00:32:40,375 --> 00:32:41,960
No, I am your friend.
640
00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:44,212
She apologized
for kissing Ben.
641
00:32:44,296 --> 00:32:46,548
I don't care about that, okay?
642
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,467
It's a stupid kiss.
Who cares?
643
00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:50,635
D'Arcy was drunk
and sad. Big surprise.
644
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:52,304
You know, if you didn't
freak out so hard
645
00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:53,889
about your husband
hanging a sign on the wall,
646
00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:55,432
maybe he'd tell you more shit.
647
00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:57,559
Oh, oh.
Okay, that makes sense.
648
00:32:57,642 --> 00:32:59,436
You're our new
interior designer.
649
00:32:59,519 --> 00:33:01,980
Spend your time moving a coffee
table across the room with Ben,
650
00:33:02,063 --> 00:33:05,233
because finding a single guy
who's real and available is too scary.
651
00:33:05,317 --> 00:33:07,152
Well, maybe you should learn
to talk to Ben about your feelings
652
00:33:07,235 --> 00:33:09,154
instead of stuffing them inside
a 90-mile vertical treadmill run.
653
00:33:09,237 --> 00:33:10,530
So, is this what you do?
654
00:33:10,614 --> 00:33:12,073
You insert your drama
into other people's lives
655
00:33:12,157 --> 00:33:13,575
'cause you can't deal
with your own?
656
00:33:13,658 --> 00:33:15,410
No, I'm dealing with mine
just fine, all right?
657
00:33:15,494 --> 00:33:16,995
I'm working out. I'm in shape.
658
00:33:17,078 --> 00:33:19,581
I look great. I quit drinking
for four hours...
659
00:33:19,664 --> 00:33:20,790
You lied to me.
660
00:33:21,958 --> 00:33:23,502
You know what?
No. I deserved it,
661
00:33:23,585 --> 00:33:25,003
because I have been
lying for years.
662
00:33:25,086 --> 00:33:26,796
You wanna know the truth?
I hate it here.
663
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,132
I hate Patience,
I hate my life,
664
00:33:29,216 --> 00:33:32,135
and I hate that I really
thought you were my friend.
665
00:33:32,219 --> 00:33:34,763
And I'm glad that I pissed on your
hand when I took that pregnancy test!
666
00:33:34,846 --> 00:33:35,931
What?
667
00:33:37,224 --> 00:33:38,266
I'm pregnant.
668
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,355
Congratulations!
669
00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:49,194
Well, well, well,
who's keeping secrets now?
670
00:33:50,737 --> 00:33:52,864
Not really the road you wanna
be driving down right now.
671
00:33:52,948 --> 00:33:54,407
Couldn't agree more.
Okay.
672
00:33:54,491 --> 00:33:55,825
Can you believe this shit?
673
00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:59,454
She actually thinks I'm afraid of
being with a single man who's real.
674
00:34:00,121 --> 00:34:01,289
That's ridiculous.
675
00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:02,541
Pretty much dead on.
676
00:34:02,624 --> 00:34:04,376
You are also really needy.
677
00:34:04,459 --> 00:34:06,628
Perfect. Side with the man.
678
00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:08,338
These guys!
Am I right, Liv?
679
00:34:08,421 --> 00:34:10,632
I'm not afraid of being
in a real relationship.
680
00:34:12,592 --> 00:34:14,261
What? Oh, coming!
681
00:34:15,262 --> 00:34:17,514
Uh, oh, hey, hey.
Where are you going?
682
00:34:17,597 --> 00:34:19,057
Shit, unless you got
another fight planned,
683
00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:20,642
I'm pretty sure that was
the highlight of the night.
684
00:34:20,725 --> 00:34:27,232
No, no. Um, you can't leave
yet because we still have cake!
685
00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:29,401
Whoo.
686
00:34:37,367 --> 00:34:38,410
I'm sorry.
687
00:34:40,996 --> 00:34:42,664
I'm really sorry.
688
00:34:43,832 --> 00:34:46,459
I should've told you
about the D'Arcy stuff.
689
00:34:50,046 --> 00:34:54,593
I figure you're probably,
at this point, well aware, but, um,
690
00:34:55,552 --> 00:34:57,345
you're married to a dipshit.
691
00:35:04,185 --> 00:35:06,438
I'm sorry. I should've
told you about the...
692
00:35:07,897 --> 00:35:08,898
You know...
693
00:35:10,442 --> 00:35:11,610
Why didn't you tell me?
694
00:35:11,693 --> 00:35:13,612
I don't know. I don't know.
695
00:35:15,071 --> 00:35:16,072
I was
696
00:35:16,906 --> 00:35:21,536
scared, and we don't
really talk anymore.
697
00:35:21,620 --> 00:35:25,498
Anytime anything remotely
uncomfortable comes up,
698
00:35:26,583 --> 00:35:30,378
we just have sex instead of
talking about what's really going on.
699
00:35:30,462 --> 00:35:31,463
Okay, okay.
700
00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:34,466
Let's talk. Right now.
701
00:35:35,925 --> 00:35:37,218
We're gonna have a baby.
702
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:39,971
Yeah.
703
00:35:42,641 --> 00:35:43,642
That's
704
00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:46,061
a lot.
705
00:35:48,229 --> 00:35:49,606
It's a lot, a lot.
706
00:35:51,775 --> 00:35:52,859
Mmm.
707
00:35:59,658 --> 00:36:05,497
Happy birthday, dear Harry
708
00:36:06,081 --> 00:36:11,753
Happy birthday to you
709
00:36:16,132 --> 00:36:18,510
You can go ahead
and blow out the candles.
710
00:36:18,593 --> 00:36:19,594
No.
711
00:36:21,221 --> 00:36:22,639
I do not like cake.
712
00:36:22,722 --> 00:36:25,433
Well, if you don't blow out the candles,
your wish won't come true.
713
00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:26,726
I'll help you out, Harry.
714
00:36:28,228 --> 00:36:29,646
Oh.
715
00:36:31,106 --> 00:36:33,483
And someone's having
sex in the bathroom.
716
00:36:37,404 --> 00:36:38,738
Do not be concerned.
717
00:36:38,822 --> 00:36:42,367
These old houses... You can't beat them,
but join them.
718
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:45,662
Everybody just sit tight,
okay? Nobody leave.
719
00:36:45,745 --> 00:36:47,872
Dad, can you help me go downstairs,
check the breaker?
720
00:36:47,956 --> 00:36:48,957
You bet.
721
00:36:49,040 --> 00:36:50,667
Raccoons probably
chewed through the wires.
722
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:52,085
Yeah, you know,
I got this call once.
723
00:36:52,168 --> 00:36:54,129
It was a woodchuck
that got into a fuse box.
724
00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,880
Fried the poor little guy
medium rare.
725
00:36:55,964 --> 00:36:57,465
Do you know what
the crazy part is?
726
00:36:57,549 --> 00:37:00,593
You know what it smelled
like? Caesar salad. Mmm.
727
00:37:00,802 --> 00:37:02,303
Delicious.
728
00:37:02,387 --> 00:37:07,058
Do not worry about the raccoon.
I'm going outside to set a trap.
729
00:37:07,142 --> 00:37:09,144
Oh, I don't think
raccoons eat pies.
730
00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:11,563
No. Harrys do.
731
00:37:11,646 --> 00:37:13,106
You can have garbage cake.
732
00:37:14,482 --> 00:37:16,735
Who keeps loaded rifles
in their house?
733
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,988
We're protecting ourselves
from an outer space egg baby.
734
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:21,781
That's the question
you're asking, Dad?
735
00:37:22,782 --> 00:37:23,992
Hey, did you steal fruit?
736
00:37:24,075 --> 00:37:26,828
I stole all the apples.
737
00:37:26,911 --> 00:37:28,538
- I need to be punished.
- How about this?
738
00:37:28,621 --> 00:37:29,956
Jesus.
739
00:37:30,039 --> 00:37:32,751
I'm sorry, Mr. Biggins,
I didn't mean any disrespect.
740
00:37:32,834 --> 00:37:34,669
You in the right
business.
741
00:37:36,546 --> 00:37:37,547
Baby.
742
00:37:38,798 --> 00:37:39,883
Little baby.
743
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:44,345
Baby?
744
00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:45,764
Come here.
745
00:38:03,156 --> 00:38:04,574
What are you doing here?
746
00:38:04,657 --> 00:38:06,367
We came to warn you
about the Men in Black.
747
00:38:06,451 --> 00:38:08,244
They took Dr. Ethan.
What?
748
00:38:08,328 --> 00:38:11,164
In the spring,
Max told them he was the alien.
749
00:38:11,247 --> 00:38:12,791
Hey, you don't speak for me.
750
00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:14,542
Yeah, what she said is right.
751
00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:18,546
Anyway, once they realize he's a human,
they're gonna come back for Harry.
752
00:38:19,047 --> 00:38:22,550
Plus, there's an alien baby
killing animals outside, just FYI.
753
00:38:22,634 --> 00:38:25,720
Yup. I know about that.
Um, thank you for telling me.
754
00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:28,848
Can you please sneak them home
and make sure they don't get eaten?
755
00:38:28,932 --> 00:38:30,058
I'll take care of them.
756
00:38:30,141 --> 00:38:33,228
But it looks like you're not gonna
have any lights for a while longer.
757
00:38:33,311 --> 00:38:36,981
Okay. What are you guys even doing
here? Don't you have a babysitter?
758
00:38:37,565 --> 00:38:38,566
It's Ellen.
759
00:38:39,108 --> 00:38:41,277
Say no more.
Okay, get home safe.
760
00:38:47,408 --> 00:38:49,953
I think this is
a really weird party.
761
00:38:51,621 --> 00:38:53,039
Good cake, though.
Yeah.
762
00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:56,876
Am I a bad person if I like
seeing other couples fight?
763
00:38:58,378 --> 00:38:59,754
You're a horrible person.
764
00:39:16,896 --> 00:39:18,439
Honey, what's wrong?
765
00:39:18,523 --> 00:39:19,732
Something happened to me.
766
00:39:21,109 --> 00:39:24,529
There's alien activity here,
in Patience. I know it.
767
00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:26,114
What are you gonna do?
768
00:39:26,865 --> 00:39:28,199
The only thing I can do.
769
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,453
I'm gonna call the alien tracker
and tell him to come to Patience
770
00:39:32,537 --> 00:39:34,163
and find himself an alien.
771
00:39:34,247 --> 00:39:35,665
Sorry about that, guys!
772
00:39:36,124 --> 00:39:38,126
Raccoon definitely
knocked out the power.
773
00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:41,379
Until we figure this out,
I think we should just stay put.
774
00:39:41,462 --> 00:39:43,339
Better tell D'Arcy.
She just left.
775
00:39:44,048 --> 00:39:45,049
Damn it.
776
00:39:51,681 --> 00:39:52,682
Hey!
777
00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:55,101
Hey.
Oh.
778
00:39:55,184 --> 00:39:56,185
Nice rifle.
779
00:39:56,769 --> 00:39:58,730
You headed out
to scare up some vittles?
780
00:39:58,813 --> 00:40:01,608
Didn't you hear? There's a
rabid raccoon on the loose.
781
00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:03,610
Good. Maybe it'll bite me.
782
00:40:04,527 --> 00:40:06,738
If I start foaming at the mouth,
don't shoot me.
783
00:40:06,821 --> 00:40:08,448
Just let me suffer.
784
00:40:09,407 --> 00:40:12,160
Don't listen to anything
she says. It's not true.
785
00:40:14,871 --> 00:40:15,955
Yeah, it is, though.
786
00:40:17,999 --> 00:40:21,002
Do you know what my very first
thought was when I met Elliot?
787
00:40:21,836 --> 00:40:23,463
"Nice ass"?
Yes.
788
00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:26,341
Yeah. Do you know what
my second thought was?
789
00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:31,012
"How long
till I mess this up?"
790
00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:35,516
What the shit
is wrong with me?
791
00:40:37,810 --> 00:40:38,811
Okay.
792
00:40:39,854 --> 00:40:41,314
So, un-mess it.
793
00:40:41,898 --> 00:40:43,691
Call him.
Yeah, right.
794
00:40:44,067 --> 00:40:46,194
Call him now. I have a gun.
795
00:40:49,155 --> 00:40:50,365
I'm not calling him.
796
00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:51,532
Okay, I'll do it.
No.
797
00:40:51,616 --> 00:40:53,242
No, no, no, no. Yeah. No,
no, I'll just do it.
798
00:40:53,326 --> 00:40:54,869
You won't do that 'cause...
I'll do it.
799
00:40:54,953 --> 00:40:56,955
I'll text him! Okay,
I'll text him! I'll text him.
800
00:40:57,497 --> 00:40:58,498
Okay.
801
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:03,169
What do I even say?
802
00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,713
Uh... How about, "Hi"?
803
00:41:07,006 --> 00:41:08,758
That's kind of brilliant.
Yeah.
804
00:41:11,052 --> 00:41:12,136
Okay, it's sent.
805
00:41:13,304 --> 00:41:15,848
Ugh, now I just have to be nauseous
for two weeks waiting to see if he...
806
00:41:15,932 --> 00:41:16,933
Oh, my God.
807
00:41:18,476 --> 00:41:20,144
Hey! "Hi!"
808
00:41:20,228 --> 00:41:21,437
You're a goddamn genius.
809
00:41:23,189 --> 00:41:24,899
Hi.
Hi. It's simple. It works.
810
00:41:24,983 --> 00:41:25,984
Yes.
Hi.
811
00:41:26,067 --> 00:41:28,027
Okay,
are you gonna write back? No. I mean...
812
00:41:28,111 --> 00:41:29,904
In a couple days.
What am I, desperate?
813
00:41:30,446 --> 00:41:34,575
Baby, this is for you.
814
00:41:34,826 --> 00:41:36,119
Mmm.
815
00:41:38,705 --> 00:41:39,872
Come and get it!
816
00:42:07,483 --> 00:42:08,484
Hello, Harry.
817
00:42:09,027 --> 00:42:10,028
I'm Goliath.
818
00:42:10,611 --> 00:42:11,779
Goliath.
819
00:42:11,863 --> 00:42:15,366
Why are you inside
a hybrid alien baby?
820
00:42:16,659 --> 00:42:17,660
Clever, right?
821
00:42:18,870 --> 00:42:20,496
I needed to send
you a message,
822
00:42:21,330 --> 00:42:23,166
and this is a big one.
823
00:42:24,333 --> 00:42:27,295
First, you need to know that our
people are not coming to kill everyone.
824
00:42:27,378 --> 00:42:28,838
Why are they not coming?
825
00:42:28,921 --> 00:42:30,465
Because it's too dangerous.
826
00:42:30,548 --> 00:42:33,009
There's an alien race that's
planning to take over the Earth.
827
00:42:33,092 --> 00:42:34,302
They're here, Harry.
828
00:42:34,385 --> 00:42:35,803
What alien race?
829
00:42:35,887 --> 00:42:37,638
You must be careful.
They are...
830
00:42:48,107 --> 00:42:49,108
No...
831
00:42:51,152 --> 00:42:54,155
You should've just stayed
in Colorado and done your job.
832
00:42:54,238 --> 00:42:55,865
You shot me.
833
00:42:55,948 --> 00:42:58,743
Yeah, like you shot
two of my guys in New York.
834
00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:01,412
I should have never
made you kill Sam Hodges.
835
00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:04,749
I should have just
taken care of it myself.
836
00:43:12,840 --> 00:43:13,841
ASTA.
837
00:43:30,566 --> 00:43:31,567
Holy shit.
838
00:43:34,779 --> 00:43:35,780
Harry.
839
00:43:35,947 --> 00:43:39,242
A mile and a
half on a bus takes a long time
840
00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:40,785
The odor of old prison food
841
00:43:40,868 --> 00:43:44,038
Takes a long time
to pass you by
842
00:43:49,460 --> 00:43:52,547
Day upon day,
this wandering gets you down
843
00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,508
Nobody gives you
a chance or a dollar
844
00:43:55,591 --> 00:43:57,718
In this old town
59415
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