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1
00:00:01,535 --> 00:00:04,469
CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION
AND NICKELODEON
2
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,671
CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--
3
00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:23,989
[CRASH!]
4
00:00:34,334 --> 00:00:37,368
WA...HA HA HA HA HA!...
5
00:00:48,003 --> 00:00:50,738
[MAKING INDISTINCT SOUNDS]
6
00:00:54,377 --> 00:00:55,977
AND LIKE THE ALIEN SAID,
7
00:00:56,045 --> 00:00:58,179
GO TO THE BLOTCH.
THE BLOTCH KNOWS.
8
00:00:58,248 --> 00:00:59,881
SO, I, LIKE,
LOVE MY HUSBAND
9
00:00:59,949 --> 00:01:02,483
AND CAME OUT HERE TO COMMUNE
WITH THE BLOTCH.
10
00:01:02,551 --> 00:01:04,885
All chanting:
THE BLOTCH KNOWS.
11
00:01:04,954 --> 00:01:07,922
THE BLOTCH KNOWS.
12
00:01:07,991 --> 00:01:10,891
WHAT EXACTLY DOES
THE BLOTCH KNOW?
13
00:01:10,960 --> 00:01:12,493
UM...THE FUTURE?
14
00:01:12,562 --> 00:01:13,628
I DON'T KNOW--[COUGH]--
15
00:01:13,697 --> 00:01:16,430
IT'S REALLY HARD
TO MAKE OUT, YOU KNOW.
16
00:01:16,499 --> 00:01:19,466
[BLOTCH SCREAMS]
17
00:01:21,637 --> 00:01:23,337
HE DOES THAT SOMETIMES.
18
00:01:23,406 --> 00:01:24,973
[BLOTCH SCREAMING]
19
00:01:27,644 --> 00:01:30,178
HEY, GOT BAD NEWS.
YOU'RE FIRED!
20
00:01:30,246 --> 00:01:32,113
HA HA HA HA!
21
00:01:32,182 --> 00:01:33,414
GOTCHA. HA HA.
22
00:01:33,483 --> 00:01:34,915
NO, YOU'RE NOT FIRED.
23
00:01:34,984 --> 00:01:36,751
BUT YOU WILL BE,
UNLESS YOU LIVEN UP
THE SHOW.
24
00:01:38,821 --> 00:01:40,788
SUBMISSIONS FOR
NEXT WEEK'S SHOW.
25
00:01:40,857 --> 00:01:43,523
THERE HAS TO BE
SOMETHING GOOD HERE.
26
00:01:43,592 --> 00:01:45,759
AN UNUSUALLY
FAT BABY. NO.
27
00:01:45,828 --> 00:01:49,463
ANGRY MUTANT
BEEF JERKY. NO!
28
00:01:49,532 --> 00:01:51,365
OH, IT'S HOPELESS!
29
00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:54,435
WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS
THAT STUFF THAT CRAZY
DIB KID KEEPS SENDING IN.
30
00:01:59,208 --> 00:02:02,509
NO. NO! NOT AFTER
WHAT HAPPENED
THAT LAST TIME.
31
00:02:07,283 --> 00:02:08,349
PIGFOOT!
32
00:02:08,418 --> 00:02:12,086
OH, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
33
00:02:21,030 --> 00:02:22,696
[SIGHS]
34
00:02:42,485 --> 00:02:45,386
IT'S GOT TO BE BETTER
THAN PIGFOOT.
35
00:02:53,496 --> 00:02:56,230
GET THE VAN.
I THINK WE'VE GOT SOMETHING.
36
00:03:00,870 --> 00:03:03,471
NOW, HARDER HITTING,
FASTER PACED,
37
00:03:03,539 --> 00:03:06,641
AND EVEN MORE MYSTERIOUS.
38
00:03:06,709 --> 00:03:09,077
ARE WE ALONE
IN THE UNIVERSE?
39
00:03:09,145 --> 00:03:11,645
TONIGHT, WE'LL SHOW YOU
SOME INTRIGUING VIDEO
40
00:03:11,714 --> 00:03:14,548
THAT MAY JUST ANSWER
THAT VEXING QUESTION.
41
00:03:17,353 --> 00:03:19,854
[MAKING SOUNDS]
42
00:03:19,923 --> 00:03:21,355
YOU'RE MY WITNESS!
43
00:03:21,424 --> 00:03:23,090
HE IS AN ALIEN.
44
00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:26,126
I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.
I HAVE YOU ON TAPE
WITNESSING IT.
45
00:03:26,195 --> 00:03:29,964
THANKS TO A HORRIBLY
LARGE-HEADED BOY NAMED DIB,
46
00:03:30,032 --> 00:03:31,865
WE HAVE A NEW PIECE
IN THE PUZZLE THAT IS
47
00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:34,368
THE SEARCH FOR ALIEN LIFE.
48
00:03:34,437 --> 00:03:36,404
I SET OUT TO INVESTIGATE.
49
00:03:38,341 --> 00:03:40,908
KIDS PLAY WITHOUT FEAR
50
00:03:40,976 --> 00:03:42,477
IN THE STREETS
OF THIS HUMBLE HAMLET.
51
00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:44,311
IN FACT,
IT'S THE KIND OF PLACE
52
00:03:44,380 --> 00:03:47,815
WHERE YOU DON'T EVEN
HAVE TO LOCK THE DOOR.
53
00:03:47,884 --> 00:03:49,650
WHO ARE YOU?
GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
54
00:03:51,154 --> 00:03:52,419
OH, WOW!
55
00:03:52,488 --> 00:03:53,653
YOU'RE HERE!
56
00:03:53,722 --> 00:03:54,555
I KNEW ONE DAY
YOU'D COME.
57
00:03:54,624 --> 00:03:55,756
I KNEW IT.
58
00:03:55,824 --> 00:03:59,726
YOUNG DIB HAS BEEN
CHRONICLING THE PARANORMAL
59
00:03:59,795 --> 00:04:01,261
NEARLY ALL OF HIS
BRIEF LIFE.
60
00:04:03,432 --> 00:04:07,401
SO WHEN A GREEN KID
CLAIMING TO BE A HUMAN BOY
WITH A SKIN CONDITION
61
00:04:07,470 --> 00:04:09,003
ENTERED HIS CLASSROOM,
62
00:04:09,071 --> 00:04:12,006
HE SAYS HE WAS PREPARED.
63
00:04:12,074 --> 00:04:15,409
LOOK,
HE'S SO...GREEN.
64
00:04:15,478 --> 00:04:19,080
HELP US CLEAR UP
WHAT HAPPENED THAT NIGHT.
65
00:04:19,148 --> 00:04:21,882
I WAS MONITORING SOME OF
THE HIGHER FREQUENCY RADIO WAVES
66
00:04:21,951 --> 00:04:24,518
WHEN I PICKED UP ON
AN ALIEN DISTRESS SIGNAL.
67
00:04:24,587 --> 00:04:28,089
SO I WENT OUT WITH GAZ...
SHE'S KIND OF MY SIDEKICK.
68
00:04:28,157 --> 00:04:30,891
Actor Dib with lower voice:
WE ARE CLOSE NOW.
69
00:04:30,959 --> 00:04:33,560
I FEEL IT IN MY BRAIN.
70
00:04:36,032 --> 00:04:37,765
Actress Gaz:
OOH, GOLLY!
71
00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:39,567
WHAT IS THAT?!
72
00:04:39,635 --> 00:04:40,834
STAY BACK, GAZ.
73
00:04:44,140 --> 00:04:46,240
LOOK, GAZ,
YOU ARE MY WITNESS.
74
00:04:46,309 --> 00:04:47,508
HE IS AN ALIEN!
75
00:04:47,577 --> 00:04:49,509
I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.
76
00:04:49,578 --> 00:04:51,278
I HAVE YOU ON TAPE
WITNESSING IT.
77
00:05:03,159 --> 00:05:06,227
EEEEE! OOOOHHHH!
AAAHHH!
78
00:05:08,330 --> 00:05:10,230
HE TRIED TO WRESTLE
THE VIDEO AWAY FROM ME,
79
00:05:10,299 --> 00:05:11,665
BUT I WAS TOO MUCH FOR HIM.
80
00:05:13,936 --> 00:05:15,602
DIB, THE GLOW!
81
00:05:26,449 --> 00:05:29,283
Anchor: ALIENS.
THAT'S QUITE A CLAIM.
82
00:05:29,352 --> 00:05:32,186
ARE YOU PREPARED
TO DEFEND IT?
83
00:05:32,255 --> 00:05:34,655
I THINK MY VIDEO
SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.
84
00:05:34,723 --> 00:05:39,360
THIS...YOUNG MAN
DENIES YOUR ACCUSATION.
85
00:05:39,429 --> 00:05:40,694
WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?!
86
00:05:40,763 --> 00:05:42,363
HE'S THE ALIEN!
87
00:05:42,431 --> 00:05:45,465
I CAME TO PUT A STOP
TO ALL YOUR ALIEN TALK.
88
00:05:45,534 --> 00:05:47,868
WHEN WILL THE LIES END?
89
00:05:47,937 --> 00:05:51,204
WELL, ZIM,
I GUESS MY FIRST
QUESTION IS...
90
00:05:51,273 --> 00:05:53,908
ARE YOU AN ALIEN?!
91
00:05:53,977 --> 00:05:58,378
LIES! THE FILTHY
EARTHBOY LIES!
92
00:05:58,447 --> 00:05:59,747
I MEAN...NO.
93
00:05:59,816 --> 00:06:02,850
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
THE VIDEO?
94
00:06:04,921 --> 00:06:07,487
Zim:
I WAS OUT PLAYING,
LIKE ANY NORMAL EARTH LARVAE,
95
00:06:07,556 --> 00:06:09,222
WHEN HE CAME
LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.
96
00:06:09,291 --> 00:06:13,994
HEY, NEW KID,
GIVE ME YOUR LUNCH
MONIES.
97
00:06:14,063 --> 00:06:16,363
BUT I NEED THESE MONIES
TO BUY NUTRIENTS.
98
00:06:16,432 --> 00:06:18,366
GIMME THE MONIES
OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE
99
00:06:18,434 --> 00:06:20,167
YOU'RE AN ALIEN.
100
00:06:20,236 --> 00:06:23,203
LEAVE ME ALONE.
I JUST WANT TO PLAY.
101
00:06:23,272 --> 00:06:25,139
FINE.
102
00:06:25,208 --> 00:06:27,708
LOOK, GAZ,
YOU ARE MY WITNESS.
103
00:06:27,777 --> 00:06:28,876
HE IS AN ALIEN.
104
00:06:28,944 --> 00:06:30,177
I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.
105
00:06:30,245 --> 00:06:32,179
I HAVE YOU ON TAPE
WITNESSING IT.
106
00:06:40,423 --> 00:06:43,590
BOO HOO HOO HOO.
107
00:06:43,659 --> 00:06:44,592
THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
108
00:06:44,661 --> 00:06:45,793
HE LIES!
109
00:06:45,861 --> 00:06:46,860
CALM DOWN, YOU TWO.
110
00:06:46,929 --> 00:06:48,495
YOU'LL NEVER
GET AWAY WITH THIS!
111
00:06:48,564 --> 00:06:50,497
SILENCE,
YOU TINY BRAIN...
112
00:06:50,566 --> 00:06:51,565
HEAD!
113
00:06:51,634 --> 00:06:52,466
WHAT ABOUT
THAT GLOWING THING?
114
00:06:52,535 --> 00:06:54,768
LOOK AT IT.
THAT'S NO HUMAN GLOW.
115
00:06:54,837 --> 00:06:56,737
WE ASKED AN EXPERT.
116
00:06:56,806 --> 00:06:58,472
POSSIBLY A WEATHER BALLOON.
117
00:06:58,541 --> 00:06:59,940
OR SWAMP GAS.
118
00:07:01,691 --> 00:07:03,391
SWAMP GAS?
119
00:07:03,459 --> 00:07:04,392
HE'S CRAZY.
120
00:07:04,461 --> 00:07:06,761
ASK ANYONE
IN OUR CLASS.
121
00:07:06,830 --> 00:07:08,662
DIB? YEAH...
122
00:07:08,731 --> 00:07:10,998
HE'S PRETTY CRAZY.
123
00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:14,702
HE TOLD ME MY DADDY
WAS A YETI.
124
00:07:14,771 --> 00:07:17,338
MY DADDY'S NOT A YETI!
125
00:07:17,407 --> 00:07:20,308
HE'S NOT A YETI! WA HA!
126
00:07:20,376 --> 00:07:21,609
WHAT'S UP
WITH HIS HEAD?
127
00:07:21,677 --> 00:07:25,113
WELL, DIB,
I GUESS THE QUESTION
FOR YOU IS...
128
00:07:25,182 --> 00:07:26,581
ARE YOU CRAZY?
129
00:07:26,649 --> 00:07:28,382
OF COURSE
THEY SAY I'M CRAZY.
130
00:07:28,451 --> 00:07:30,852
THAT'S WHAT THEY ALWAYS
SAY ABOUT VISIONARIES.
131
00:07:30,921 --> 00:07:32,687
WHAT'S HE DOING?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING,
132
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:34,289
CALLING YOUR
SPACE FRIENDS?
133
00:07:34,357 --> 00:07:37,692
NONSENSE.
IT'S MY MEDICATION.
134
00:07:38,962 --> 00:07:40,728
[PAINFULLY
SWALLOWING]
135
00:07:40,797 --> 00:07:44,165
COME ON, BOYS.
THIS IS NATIONAL TV.
136
00:07:44,233 --> 00:07:47,202
SOME PEOPLE'S JOBS
ARE ON THE LINE.
137
00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:48,469
THIS IS INSANE.
138
00:07:48,538 --> 00:07:49,804
YOU'VE GOT TO
TALK TO MY SISTER.
139
00:07:49,872 --> 00:07:51,106
SHE SAW THE WHOLE THING.
140
00:07:51,174 --> 00:07:54,442
Anchor: ZIM, TORMENTED CHILD
WITH A SKIN CONDITION
141
00:07:54,511 --> 00:07:57,078
OR SCALY DEMON
FROM THE STARS?
142
00:07:57,147 --> 00:07:59,046
DIB, MISUNDERSTOOD
VISIONARY
143
00:07:59,115 --> 00:08:00,848
OR RAVING LUNATIC?
144
00:08:00,916 --> 00:08:03,517
PERHAPS ONLY THIS
LITTLE GIRL KNOWS.
145
00:08:03,586 --> 00:08:04,519
EXCUSE ME.
146
00:08:04,587 --> 00:08:05,854
GO AWAY!
147
00:08:05,922 --> 00:08:07,488
[Anchor spitting out dirt]
148
00:08:07,557 --> 00:08:11,059
I WANTED TO ASK YOU
A FEW QUESTIONS
ABOUT YOUR BROTHER.
149
00:08:11,127 --> 00:08:12,293
MAYBE YOU CAN
SET US STRAIGHT
150
00:08:12,362 --> 00:08:14,361
ON THE WHOLE
CRAZINESS ISSUE.
151
00:08:14,430 --> 00:08:15,530
UGHH! UGHH!
152
00:08:15,599 --> 00:08:17,999
GAZ, AFTER
WHAT YOU SAW,
153
00:08:18,067 --> 00:08:20,000
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT
YOUR BROTHER GOT PROOF
154
00:08:20,069 --> 00:08:22,804
OF INTELLIGENT
EXTRATERRESTRIAL LIFE?
155
00:08:22,873 --> 00:08:24,506
INTELLIGENT--NO.
156
00:08:24,574 --> 00:08:26,441
MY STUPID BROTHER
DID DRAG ME OUT
157
00:08:26,509 --> 00:08:28,643
TO LOOK FOR
STUPID ZIM.
158
00:08:28,712 --> 00:08:30,578
HE DIDN'T MAKE
THAT PART UP.
159
00:08:36,352 --> 00:08:38,753
DUH...!
160
00:08:38,822 --> 00:08:41,022
DUH...!
161
00:08:41,091 --> 00:08:46,694
Both:
DUH...SHINY.
162
00:08:46,763 --> 00:08:48,830
HA HA HA HA.
163
00:08:48,899 --> 00:08:50,765
[MORE EXCITEDLY]
DUH?
164
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:53,134
AHEM.
LOOK, GAZ,
YOU'RE MY WITNESS.
165
00:08:53,202 --> 00:08:54,268
HE IS AN ALIEN.
166
00:08:54,337 --> 00:08:55,403
I HAVE HIM ON TAPE.
167
00:08:55,471 --> 00:08:58,405
I HAVE YOU ON TAPE
WITNESSING IT.
168
00:08:58,474 --> 00:09:00,208
DUH...?
169
00:09:03,246 --> 00:09:04,345
HUH? OH.
170
00:09:04,414 --> 00:09:06,046
IT LOOKS LIKE
WE'LL NEVER KNOW
171
00:09:06,115 --> 00:09:07,682
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
THAT NIGHT.
172
00:09:07,751 --> 00:09:09,284
I'D LIKE TO THANK YOU ALL
FOR WATCHING
173
00:09:09,352 --> 00:09:13,021
WHAT WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY
BE THE FINAL EPISODE
174
00:09:13,090 --> 00:09:15,656
OF MYSTERIOUS MYSTERIES.
175
00:09:15,725 --> 00:09:16,791
[WHISPERING]
176
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,729
UH, IT SEEMS WE HAVE
A SURPRISE WITNESS
177
00:09:21,798 --> 00:09:24,665
WHO WAS THERE AND CLAIMS
TO KNOW THE TRUTH.
178
00:09:26,103 --> 00:09:28,136
Dib:
BUT HE WORKS
FOR THE ALIEN!
179
00:09:28,205 --> 00:09:29,837
RESTRAIN HIM!
180
00:09:29,906 --> 00:09:32,206
[GIR SCREECHES
IN GREETING]
181
00:09:32,275 --> 00:09:35,210
NOW, WHAT CAN
YOU TELL US ABOUT DIB?
182
00:09:35,278 --> 00:09:37,312
DIB'S ALL MEAN
TO MY MASTER.
183
00:09:37,380 --> 00:09:38,880
HE NOT NICE
TO ZIM.
184
00:09:38,948 --> 00:09:40,181
I SEEN IT.
185
00:09:40,249 --> 00:09:42,850
DIB IS BAD. HEE!
186
00:09:42,919 --> 00:09:46,320
AND ABOUT
THE NIGHT IN QUESTION?
187
00:09:49,292 --> 00:09:51,759
Gir:
I WAS A CHUBBY LADY
HIDING IN THE BUSHES.
188
00:09:51,828 --> 00:09:54,195
UH-HUH.
AND WHAT ABOUT DIB?
189
00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:55,663
I'M ON TV!
190
00:09:55,732 --> 00:09:58,165
YES.
THEN WHAT HAPPENED?
191
00:09:58,234 --> 00:10:00,401
THAT'S WHEN THE GIANT
SQUIRREL SHOWED UP.
192
00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:01,569
Zim: GIR!
193
00:10:01,638 --> 00:10:05,406
LET HER TALK.
CAN'T YOU SEE
SHE'S UPSET?
194
00:10:05,475 --> 00:10:09,443
NOW, DON'T YOU MEAN
DIB SHOWED UP?
195
00:10:09,512 --> 00:10:11,779
NO. THE SQUIRREL
SHOWED UP FIRST,
196
00:10:11,848 --> 00:10:14,048
THEN DIB SHOWED UP.
197
00:10:18,455 --> 00:10:19,921
AH! OH, MAN!
198
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:21,689
WHAT IS THAT THING?!
199
00:10:21,758 --> 00:10:24,659
AND THEN THE SQUIRREL
ATE DIB'S GREASY HEAD.
200
00:10:24,727 --> 00:10:26,394
AHHH!
201
00:10:32,368 --> 00:10:34,702
AND THEN THE SQUIRREL
FLEW AWAY!
202
00:10:40,710 --> 00:10:43,077
AFTER THAT, HE WENT BACK
TO HIS HOME PLANET
203
00:10:43,145 --> 00:10:45,346
TO FIGHT ALL OF
THE BAD GUYS.
204
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:51,786
WHAT DOES THAT HAVE
TO DO WITH ANYTHING?
205
00:10:51,855 --> 00:10:54,655
ME AND THE SQUIRREL
ARE FRIENDS.
206
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,566
[THINKING OUT LOUD]
I'M SO FIRED.
207
00:11:05,635 --> 00:11:07,668
WELL, THE ONLY
CONCLUSION I CAN COME TO
208
00:11:07,737 --> 00:11:10,638
IS THAT DIB IS CRAZY!
209
00:11:10,706 --> 00:11:12,840
THIS ONE HERE,
DEFINITELY CRAZY.
210
00:11:12,909 --> 00:11:14,575
I FEEL BAD FOR
THE UGLY GREEN KID,
211
00:11:14,644 --> 00:11:17,478
BUT THERE'S A DECENT CHANCE
HE'S CRAZY, TOO.
212
00:11:17,547 --> 00:11:19,180
BUT NOT AN ALIEN?
213
00:11:19,249 --> 00:11:20,181
NOPE.
214
00:11:20,249 --> 00:11:22,116
JUST CRAZY.
OKAY.
215
00:11:23,587 --> 00:11:24,785
YEEE!
216
00:11:27,857 --> 00:11:29,523
NOTHING MATTERS
ANYMORE.
217
00:11:29,592 --> 00:11:31,325
MAYBE I'M CRAZY!
218
00:11:31,394 --> 00:11:34,395
WHOOOO! AHA!
219
00:11:34,464 --> 00:11:35,363
CRAZY!
220
00:11:37,033 --> 00:11:39,701
[MAKING GURGLING SOUNDS]
CRAZY!
221
00:11:42,004 --> 00:11:43,304
WE'RE SO CANCELED.
222
00:11:43,373 --> 00:11:45,540
I THINK THIS IS
THE BEST WORK YOU'VE DONE!
223
00:11:45,608 --> 00:11:47,241
CRAZY GETS GOOD RATINGS!
224
00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:49,177
GIMME MORE LIKE IT!
15867
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