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1
00:00:05,588 --> 00:00:08,048
WOMAN [OVER PA]:
Dr. Johnson, you have a call on line 7.
2
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:11,385
She's not here yet.
She's having my baby and she's not here.
3
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:14,471
- Everything's fine. Has her water broken?
- I don't know.
4
00:00:14,639 --> 00:00:17,766
But when I spoke to her, she said
she'd already passed the mucus plug.
5
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:19,852
[GROANS]
6
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:23,272
Do we have to know about that?
7
00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,816
What are you gonna do
when you have a baby?
8
00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:29,737
I'm gonna be in the waiting room,
handing out cigars.
9
00:00:29,946 --> 00:00:33,866
Yes, Joey's made arrangements
to have his baby in a movie from the '50s.
10
00:00:35,452 --> 00:00:39,121
Aah, I don't believe this. I mean,
she could be giving birth in the cab.
11
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,414
Oh, Ross, relax.
12
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:42,750
It's only like $2 for the first contraction...
13
00:00:42,917 --> 00:00:46,086
...and then 50 cents
each additional contraction.
14
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:49,673
What, it's okay when Chandler does it?
15
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,676
You have to pick your moments.
16
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,555
- Hi. Did I miss it? Did I miss it?
- No, she's not even here yet.
17
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,515
- Oh.
MONICA: What's with the guitar?
18
00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:02,561
I just thought we might be here for a while,
so, you know, things might get musical.
19
00:01:02,771 --> 00:01:03,812
[ROSS SHOUTS]
20
00:01:03,980 --> 00:01:06,732
ROSS: Hey, where the hell have you been?
- We stopped at the gift shop.
21
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,651
I was looking at stuffed animals,
and Susan wanted a Chunky.
22
00:01:09,819 --> 00:01:13,697
Susan wanted a... You're having a baby.
A baby. You don't stop for Chunkys.
23
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:16,617
- I used to have that bumper sticker.
- Ha, ha.
24
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,494
You see what I mean?
25
00:02:06,376 --> 00:02:09,795
- "Stopped for a Chunky."
- Let it go, Ross.
26
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,005
I got an extra one. You want this?
27
00:02:12,882 --> 00:02:14,466
No.
28
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,011
Hey, how's my favorite
parenting team doing?
29
00:02:18,179 --> 00:02:19,805
Dr. Franzblau. Hi.
30
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,933
So I understand you're thinking
of having a baby.
31
00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,309
Wow.
32
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,062
I see you're nine months pregnant.
That's a good start.
33
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:28,313
[CAROL CHUCKLES]
34
00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:30,649
- How you doing with your contractions?
- Oh, I love them.
35
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:33,360
Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
36
00:02:33,570 --> 00:02:36,572
Ha, ha. They're every four minutes
and last 55 seconds.
37
00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:38,824
Fifty-nine seconds. Quartz. Ha.
38
00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:41,368
Swiss quartz. Ha, ha.
39
00:02:43,371 --> 00:02:46,123
- Am I allowed to drink anything?
- Ice chips, just ice chips.
40
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,458
- They're at the nurses' station.
- I'll get them.
41
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:51,795
SUSAN: No, I'm getting it. Be right back.
- No, I got it. I'm getting it.
42
00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:56,675
Hi. Thought you might like
some ice chips.
43
00:02:57,177 --> 00:02:58,218
CAROL:
Thanks.
44
00:02:58,386 --> 00:03:00,554
And if you need anything else, I...
45
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,639
...do not believe we have met. Hi.
46
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,642
I'm Rachel Green.
47
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:09,104
I'm Carol's ex-husband's
sister's roommate. Ha, ha.
48
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,024
It's nice to meet you. I'm Dr. Franzblau.
49
00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:15,652
I'm your roommate's brother's
ex-wife's obstetrician.
50
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:17,279
[LAUGHS]
51
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,656
Oh, that's funny.
52
00:03:25,914 --> 00:03:27,456
I want a baby.
53
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,751
Hmm. Not tonight, honey.
I got an early day tomorrow.
54
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:33,503
Get up. Come on, let's get some coffee.
55
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:37,049
Oh, okay, because we never do that.
56
00:03:37,967 --> 00:03:39,927
Shoot, shoot, shoot.
57
00:03:40,094 --> 00:03:42,137
Or just fall down. That's good too.
58
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,306
LYDIA: Knick fan?
JOEY: Oh, yeah.
59
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:47,643
- Oh, boy, do they suck.
- Hey, listen, lady, I...
60
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,144
Whoa.
61
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:53,440
Look. Look at your man Ewing.
Nice shot.
62
00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:56,443
You know, he couldn't hit water
if he was standing on a boat.
63
00:03:56,611 --> 00:03:58,111
Oh, yeah? And who do you like?
64
00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:00,530
- Celtics.
- Celtics? Ha!
65
00:04:00,698 --> 00:04:03,617
They couldn't hit a boat if... Wait.
66
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:07,537
They suck, all right?
67
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:10,374
Shut up.
You know, it's a rebuilding year. You...
68
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:11,875
- Aah! Aah!
- Oh. Aah.
69
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,543
Uh, let me get the father. Hey!
70
00:04:13,711 --> 00:04:16,004
We need a father over here!
We need a father!
71
00:04:16,172 --> 00:04:17,506
There's no father.
72
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,424
Oh. Oh.
73
00:04:19,592 --> 00:04:20,676
Oh, sorry.
74
00:04:20,885 --> 00:04:23,553
Oh, that's okay. I'm fine. I'm...
75
00:04:23,721 --> 00:04:25,430
- Oh!
- Oh, uh...
76
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,099
Okay. All right. Uh, right this way.
77
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,768
All the other pregnant women
seem to be going in here.
78
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,228
Okay.
79
00:04:35,191 --> 00:04:37,192
[PLAYING FOLK MUSIC]
80
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:41,196
[SINGING] They're tiny and chubby
And so sweet to touch
81
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:45,033
But soon they'll grow up
And resent you so much
82
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:51,039
Now they're yelling at you
And you don't know why
83
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:58,505
And you cry and you cry and you cry
84
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,841
- Thanks, Ross.
- Yeah. I'm paying you to stop.
85
00:05:01,676 --> 00:05:03,176
Okay.
86
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:08,432
Oh, look, twins. Hi, guys. Oh, cute, cute.
87
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:13,520
No fair. I don't even have one.
How come they get two?
88
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:16,481
- You'll get one.
- Oh, yeah? When?
89
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,025
CHANDLER:
I'll tell you what.
90
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,569
When we're 40,
if neither of us are married...
91
00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,613
...what do you say you and I have one?
92
00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,574
Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
93
00:05:26,784 --> 00:05:28,952
Oh, no, no, no.
I just meant hypothetically.
94
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,122
Okay, hypothetically,
why won't I be married when I'm 40?
95
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,541
- No, no, no.
- No, no, what is it? Seriously.
96
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,210
Is there something
fundamentally unmarriable about me?
97
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:40,630
- Uh... Uh...
- Well?
98
00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:44,343
Dear God. This parachute is a knapsack.
99
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,513
- Hey.
- Hey. Ooh.
100
00:05:48,681 --> 00:05:50,682
- Look at you, dressy-dress.
- Yeah.
101
00:05:50,850 --> 00:05:52,726
Did you go home and change?
102
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:56,229
Yeah, well, it's an important day.
I wanna look nice.
103
00:05:56,397 --> 00:05:59,066
Um, has Dr. Franzblau been by?
104
00:06:00,651 --> 00:06:01,818
No, I haven't seen him.
105
00:06:01,986 --> 00:06:04,988
Well, where is he?
He is supposed to be here.
106
00:06:07,158 --> 00:06:09,159
What if the baby needs him?
107
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,453
Rachel, what is the deal
with you and doctors?
108
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:15,624
- Is, like, your father a doctor?
- Yeah. Why?
109
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,834
No reason.
110
00:06:19,670 --> 00:06:21,963
Mom, we've been through this.
111
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,758
No, I am not calling him.
112
00:06:24,926 --> 00:06:27,886
I don't care if it is his kid.
The guy's a jerk.
113
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,973
No, I am not alone. Joey's here.
114
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:34,643
What do you mean, "Joey who?"
115
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:36,103
[MOUTHS]
Joey who?
116
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:39,606
- Tribbiani.
- Joey Tribbiani.
117
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:44,528
Yes. Okay. Hold on.
118
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:47,072
- She wants to talk to you.
- No.
119
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,032
Take the phone.
120
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,951
Hi. Yeah, it's me.
121
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,285
[JOEY CHUCKLES]
122
00:06:53,204 --> 00:06:55,997
Oh, no, no, no. We're just friends. Yeah.
123
00:06:56,165 --> 00:06:58,125
Yeah, I'm single.
124
00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,335
Twenty-five.
125
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:01,753
An actor.
126
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,505
Hello?
127
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,804
- She's not much of a phone person.
- Yeah.
128
00:07:10,972 --> 00:07:14,808
So, uh, what's the deal
with this father guy?
129
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:18,854
I mean, if someone was having my baby
somewhere, I'd wanna know about it.
130
00:07:19,021 --> 00:07:23,233
Hey, Knick fan, am I interested
in your views on fatherhood? Um, no.
131
00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:28,321
Okay. Uh, look, maybe I should just go.
132
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:31,199
- Maybe you should.
- Good luck.
133
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:34,703
And, uh, take care, huh?
134
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:44,379
Know what the Celtics' problem is?
They let the players run the team.
135
00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,755
Oh, that is so not true.
136
00:07:45,923 --> 00:07:47,716
- Oh, it is. It is.
- It isn't. Isn't.
137
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:50,427
- Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
- Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
138
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,512
You're gonna kill me!
139
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,475
- Fifteen more seconds. Fourteen, 13, 12...
- Count faster.
140
00:07:56,642 --> 00:07:59,811
It's gonna be okay. We're doing it for Jordy.
Keep focusing on Jordy.
141
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:01,104
Who the hell is Jordy?
142
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:03,398
- Your son.
- Whoa, whoa whoa.
143
00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,858
I don't have a son named Jordy.
144
00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:07,152
We all agreed, my son's name is Jamie.
145
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,113
Well, Jamie was the name
of Susan's first girlfriend...
146
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:12,574
...so we went back to Jordy.
147
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:13,992
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
148
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,703
What do you mean, "back to Jordy"?
We never landed on Jordy.
149
00:08:16,871 --> 00:08:22,125
We just passed by it
during the whole Jesse/Cody/Dillon fiasco.
150
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:23,376
Ow, ow, ow!
151
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,212
- What? What? What?
- Leg cramp, leg cramp.
152
00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:27,422
ROSS: I got it. I got it.
- I got it. I'm doing it.
153
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:30,008
You get to sleep with her.
I get the cramps.
154
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,343
No, you don't.
155
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,803
- That is it. I want both of you out.
- What?
156
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,430
- She started it.
- He started it.
157
00:08:35,598 --> 00:08:36,640
I don't care.
158
00:08:36,807 --> 00:08:39,059
I'm trying to get a person
out of my body here...
159
00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:42,687
...and you're not making it any easier.
Now go!
160
00:08:45,107 --> 00:08:46,608
- Thanks a lot.
- See what you did?
161
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:49,152
- Yeah. Listen...
- Out.
162
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:55,742
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
163
00:08:55,910 --> 00:08:57,702
Oh, no.
164
00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,080
Ew.
165
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:03,667
What is that? Something exploded.
166
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:06,169
It's just her water breaking.
Calm down, will you?
167
00:09:06,337 --> 00:09:09,714
Water breaking? What do you mean?
What's that, water breaking?
168
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:13,510
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
169
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:18,557
- Oh, please. This is so your fault.
- How? How is this my fault?
170
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,685
Look, Carol never threw me out of a room
before you came along.
171
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:25,480
Well, there's a lot of things Carol never did
before I came along.
172
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:29,568
- Are you trying to be clever?
- You are so threatened by me.
173
00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:32,779
- Everything I say is a problem.
PHOEBE: Hey, hey, hey. Okay. All right.
174
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:34,447
That's it. Get in here. Come on.
175
00:09:34,615 --> 00:09:38,410
My God, you guys. I don't believe you.
176
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,746
There are children coming into the world
in this very building...
177
00:09:41,914 --> 00:09:45,458
...and your fighting noises are not
the first thing they should be hearing.
178
00:09:45,626 --> 00:09:48,086
So just stop all the yelling! Just stop it!
179
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,714
Yeah, Susan.
180
00:09:50,881 --> 00:09:54,593
Don't make me do this again!
I don't like my voice like this!
181
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:02,225
Okay, who wants to hear
something ironic?
182
00:10:07,523 --> 00:10:08,565
PHOEBE & SUSAN:
Help!
183
00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:10,108
ROSS: Come on!
PHOEBE & SUSAN: Help!
184
00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:12,902
ROSS: I'm having a baby in there!
SUSAN: Hello?
185
00:10:13,070 --> 00:10:15,238
- Help!
ROSS: Okay, everyone stand back.
186
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:20,785
Ow.
187
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:25,332
Are they here yet?
188
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,917
No, honey, but don't worry,
we're gonna find them.
189
00:10:28,085 --> 00:10:31,254
And until we do,
we are all here for you, okay?
190
00:10:31,422 --> 00:10:32,839
- Okay. Okay.
RACHEL: Okay?
191
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:36,509
Anyway, you were telling me about Paris.
It sounds wonderful.
192
00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:40,138
It really was. There was this
great little pastry shop right by my hotel...
193
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:41,389
[CAROL YELLING]
194
00:10:41,557 --> 00:10:44,601
There you go, dear. You...
195
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,770
Come on, Lydia, you can do it. Push.
196
00:10:46,979 --> 00:10:50,148
Push him out, push him out.
Harder, harder.
197
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,609
Push him out, push him out. Way out.
198
00:10:52,777 --> 00:10:55,612
Let's get that ball and really move.
Hey, hey. Ho, ho.
199
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:56,863
Let's get...
200
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:01,242
I was just... Yeah, okay.
201
00:11:01,410 --> 00:11:03,703
Push, push, push.
202
00:11:05,831 --> 00:11:08,416
What are you gonna do,
suck the door open?
203
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:14,381
- Help! Help! Help!
- Help!
204
00:11:14,548 --> 00:11:18,677
[SINGING] And they found their bodies
The very next day
205
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:22,764
And they found their bodies
The very next...
206
00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,517
La, la, la, la, la, la
207
00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,477
ROSS & SUSAN:
Help!
208
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:32,190
No, Mom, everything's going fine, really.
Yeah, Ross is great. He's, uh...
209
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:36,945
He's in a whole other place. Yeah.
No, he's gone.
210
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:40,281
No, no, you don't have to fly back.
Really.
211
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,575
What do you mean,
this might be your only chance?
212
00:11:42,743 --> 00:11:45,120
Oh. Would you stop? I'm only 26.
213
00:11:45,287 --> 00:11:47,122
I'm not even thinking about babies yet.
214
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,623
[BABY COOING]
215
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,792
[SOBBING]
216
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,753
[CHANDLER MIMICS
STATIC CRACKLING]
217
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,347
- Where have you been?
JOEY: Oh, I just had a baby.
218
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,684
Mazel tov.
219
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,982
I don't know.
It could be an hour, it could be three.
220
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,109
But relax, she's doing great.
221
00:12:16,277 --> 00:12:20,864
So, uh, tell me,
are you currently involved with anyone?
222
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:24,075
No. No, not at...
At the moment, no, I'm not, no.
223
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:26,035
- Are you?
- No, no.
224
00:12:26,203 --> 00:12:28,079
It's hard enough to get women
to go out with me.
225
00:12:28,247 --> 00:12:32,167
Heh. Right, yeah,
I've heard that about cute doctors.
226
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:33,877
No, no, really.
227
00:12:34,044 --> 00:12:38,548
I suppose it's because
I spend so much time, you know...
228
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,341
...where I do.
229
00:12:42,386 --> 00:12:44,012
- Oh.
- Mm.
230
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:48,892
I try not to let work affect my personal life,
but it's hard when you do...
231
00:12:49,059 --> 00:12:51,770
...what I do. It's like, uh...
232
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:54,189
Well, for instance, what do you do?
233
00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:56,983
- I'm a waitress.
- Okay, all right.
234
00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,320
Well, aren't there times when you come
home at the end of the day...
235
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:04,949
...and you're just like,
"If I see one more cup of coffee..."
236
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,831
Ahem. Yeah. Gotcha.
237
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:17,754
- I'm gonna check up on your friend.
- Okay, that's fine.
238
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:29,390
- So how did you know I was even here?
ROY: Your mom called me.
239
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,726
So is this her?
240
00:13:31,894 --> 00:13:33,645
No, this is a loaner.
241
00:13:35,606 --> 00:13:37,899
Listen, I'm sorry you had to do this
by yourself.
242
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:43,988
Oh. I wasn't by myself.
I had a doctor, a nurse and a helper guy.
243
00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:47,242
So did you see who won the game?
244
00:13:47,409 --> 00:13:50,954
Yeah, Knicks by 10. They suck.
245
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:53,915
Eh, they're not so bad.
246
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,730
ROSS:
Come on. Come on.
247
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:24,070
Damn it, damn it, damn it.
This is all your fault.
248
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,948
This is supposed to be, like,
the greatest day of my life.
249
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:30,076
My son is being born,
and I should be in there, you know?
250
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:32,161
Instead I'm stuck in a closet with you.
251
00:14:32,329 --> 00:14:35,665
I've been waiting for this
just as much as you have.
252
00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:39,002
Believe me, no one has been waiting
for this as much as I have, okay?
253
00:14:39,169 --> 00:14:40,879
And you know what the funny thing is?
254
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,631
When this day is over,
you get to go home with the baby.
255
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,217
- Where does that leave me?
- You get to be the father.
256
00:14:46,385 --> 00:14:50,138
Everyone knows who you are. Who am I?
There's Father's Day. There's Mother's Day.
257
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:52,599
There's no Lesbian Lover Day.
258
00:14:52,766 --> 00:14:55,226
Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
259
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,814
This is so great.
260
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,570
You wanna explain that?
261
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,532
I mean, well, because when I was
growing up, you know, my dad left...
262
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,744
...and my mother died,
and my stepfather went to jail.
263
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:16,664
So I barely had enough pieces of parents
to make one whole one.
264
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,336
And here's this little baby
who has like three whole parents...
265
00:15:21,503 --> 00:15:25,256
...who care about it so much that they fight
over who gets to love it the most...
266
00:15:25,424 --> 00:15:27,842
...and it's not even born yet.
267
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:30,553
It's just the luckiest baby
in the whole world.
268
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:35,433
I'm sorry. You were fighting.
269
00:15:37,561 --> 00:15:39,020
Where are they?
270
00:15:39,229 --> 00:15:42,190
- I'm sure they'll be here soon.
- They wouldn't miss this.
271
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:47,362
Relax. You're only at nine centimeters,
and the baby's at zero station.
272
00:15:50,699 --> 00:15:52,575
Okay, you are really frightening me.
273
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:54,619
[CAROL SCREAMS]
274
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,580
Somebody wanna help me?
Trying to rip out my heart.
275
00:15:59,208 --> 00:16:02,210
Uh... Oh, that's great.
Anybody seen a nipple?
276
00:16:03,754 --> 00:16:06,464
All right. Ten centimeters. Here we go.
277
00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:09,926
- All right, honey, time to start pushing.
- But they're not here yet.
278
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:12,220
Sorry, I can't tell the baby
to wait for them.
279
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,223
Oh, God.
280
00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,101
[ROSS GRUNTS]
281
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,228
Okay, got the vent open.
282
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,813
Hi, I'm Ben.
283
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,481
[CHUCKLES]
284
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:26,359
I'm hospital worker Ben.
285
00:16:26,527 --> 00:16:28,361
It's Ben to the rescue.
286
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,947
- [SINGING] La, la, la
- Okay, okay, okay.
287
00:16:31,115 --> 00:16:32,198
- Ben, you ready?
- Yeah.
288
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,033
- All right, give me your foot.
- Okay.
289
00:16:34,201 --> 00:16:38,204
- Okay, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Unh.
PHOEBE: Ooh.
290
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:42,583
- Come on, Ben. Okay. That's it, Ben.
PHOEBE: Okay. Uh-huh.
291
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,460
SUSAN:
What do you see?
292
00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:48,381
PHOEBE: Well, Susan,
I see what appears to be a dark vent.
293
00:16:48,549 --> 00:16:49,882
Wait.
294
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:53,594
Yes, it is, in fact, a dark vent.
295
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,389
[ROSS & SUSAN GASPING]
296
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,891
Pheebs, it's open! It's open!
297
00:17:01,770 --> 00:17:05,231
Wait! You forgot your legs!
298
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:08,026
ALL: Push. Push.
- We're here!
299
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,861
[ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
300
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,822
ROSS: We're here.
- Where have you been?!
301
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,115
Long story, honey.
302
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:16,451
FRANZBLAU:
All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing.
303
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,411
I need... Excuse me, can I have this?
304
00:17:18,662 --> 00:17:20,246
Oh, sorry.
305
00:17:20,456 --> 00:17:21,664
All right, all right.
306
00:17:21,832 --> 00:17:24,917
There's too many people in this room.
There's about to be one more.
307
00:17:25,085 --> 00:17:29,464
So anybody who's not an ex-husband
or a lesbian life partner, out you go.
308
00:17:29,631 --> 00:17:31,340
- Come on, out.
RACHEL: Okay, good luck.
309
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:33,676
- Bye, bye, bye.
- Good luck, you guys, good luck.
310
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:37,805
Let me ask you, do you have to be
Carol's lesbian life partner?
311
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,515
NURSE:
Out.
312
00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:43,227
FRANZBLAU: All right.
All right, he's crowning. Here he comes.
313
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:46,230
Let me see. I gotta see, I gotta see.
314
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,066
Oh... Oh.
315
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,319
Oh! A head.
316
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:54,489
Oh. It's huge.
Carol, how are you doing this?
317
00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,825
Not helping.
318
00:17:58,035 --> 00:17:59,952
FRANZBLAU:
You're doing great. You're doing fine.
319
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:02,121
- Hello?
- Oh, sorry.
320
00:18:02,289 --> 00:18:04,248
What do you see? What do you see?
321
00:18:04,458 --> 00:18:06,959
We got a head, we got shoulders,
we got arms, we got...
322
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:10,171
Oh, look at the little... The fingers.
323
00:18:10,339 --> 00:18:11,672
Oh, a chest and a stomach...
324
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:14,759
...and it's a boy, definitely a boy.
325
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:18,262
All right. Okay, legs, knees and feet.
326
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:19,514
Oh, oh.
327
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:23,726
[GASPING]
328
00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,687
He's here. He's...
329
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,439
He's a person.
330
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,690
Oh!
331
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:31,859
- Look at that.
- What does he look like?
332
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:36,030
Kind of like my Uncle Ed,
covered in Jell-O.
333
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:38,032
Really?
334
00:18:38,659 --> 00:18:40,743
PHOEBE [FROM ABOVE]:
You guys, he's beautiful.
335
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:43,329
Aw, thanks, Pheebs.
336
00:18:49,002 --> 00:18:53,673
No shouting,
but we still need a name for this little guy.
337
00:18:54,508 --> 00:18:56,717
How about Ben?
338
00:18:57,219 --> 00:18:59,011
I like Ben.
339
00:18:59,179 --> 00:19:02,557
Ben.
340
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:03,766
[BEN COOS]
341
00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:05,935
- Ha, ha. Ben's good.
- Yeah?
342
00:19:06,103 --> 00:19:08,187
How come you never
mentioned Ben before?
343
00:19:08,355 --> 00:19:11,440
- We, uh, just cooked it up.
SUSAN: Ha, ha.
344
00:19:11,942 --> 00:19:14,777
That's what we were off doing.
345
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,029
- Hi.
- Hey.
346
00:19:17,197 --> 00:19:19,782
- Can we come in?
- Yeah, come in. Come in.
347
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:22,618
[RACHEL GASPS]
348
00:19:25,372 --> 00:19:26,873
[BEN CRYING]
349
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:28,749
I know. I know.
350
00:19:28,917 --> 00:19:31,752
Everybody,
there's someone I'd like you to meet.
351
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,921
Yeah. This is Ben.
352
00:19:34,631 --> 00:19:35,673
- Hi, Ben.
- Hi, Ben.
353
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,634
- Ben, this is everybody.
- Hey, Ben.
354
00:19:38,802 --> 00:19:41,637
Susan, he looks just like you.
355
00:19:44,099 --> 00:19:45,808
SUSAN:
Thanks. Ha, ha.
356
00:19:45,976 --> 00:19:49,312
Oh, God, I can't believe one of us
actually has one of these.
357
00:19:49,479 --> 00:19:51,981
I know. I still am one of these.
358
00:19:54,568 --> 00:19:55,818
- Ross?
ROSS: Yeah?
359
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:57,528
Can I?
360
00:19:59,114 --> 00:20:03,034
Okay, the head, the head. You gotta...
361
00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:10,374
Hi, Ben. Hi.
362
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:13,336
I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes, I am.
363
00:20:13,503 --> 00:20:16,255
I'm your Aunt Monica.
364
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,508
I...
365
00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:23,054
I will always have gum.
366
00:20:27,684 --> 00:20:29,268
Ben...
367
00:20:29,436 --> 00:20:32,772
...I want you to know
that there may be some times...
368
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,650
...when I may not be around...
369
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,401
...like this.
370
00:20:37,569 --> 00:20:39,820
["TWINKLE, TWINKLE LITTLE STAR"
PLAYING ON MOBILE]
371
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:42,949
But I'll still always come back...
372
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:45,576
...like this.
373
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:50,539
And sometimes I may be away longer...
374
00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:52,375
...like this.
375
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:58,464
But I'll still always come back...
376
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:02,843
...like this.
377
00:21:03,971 --> 00:21:09,016
And sometimes I'll want you to steal third,
and I'll go like this.
378
00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,610
Oh, he is so amazing.
379
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,238
Yeah, I know. Look at him.
380
00:21:22,406 --> 00:21:25,950
Ben.
381
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,785
Hey, Ben.
382
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:31,664
Nothing. I don't think that's his name.
383
00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:35,876
Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes.
384
00:21:36,044 --> 00:21:38,921
Oh, look, he's opening his eyes.
385
00:21:41,091 --> 00:21:43,551
He doesn't do much, does he?
386
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:46,554
Nope, this is pretty much it.
387
00:21:53,812 --> 00:21:56,981
- You guys wanna get some coffee?
ALL: Yeah.
388
00:21:57,524 --> 00:21:59,984
All right, I'll see you guys later.
389
00:22:08,910 --> 00:22:10,703
[MOUTHS]
Hi, Ben.
390
00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:13,789
- [MOUTHS] I love you.
- Hi, Ben.
391
00:22:13,957 --> 00:22:16,083
[BRAHMS' "WIEGENLIED"
PLAYING MOBILE]
392
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:29,889
[JOEY BLOWS RASPBERRY]
393
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,558
[CHANDLER BLOWS RASPBERRY]
394
00:22:32,726 --> 00:22:35,561
Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again.
395
00:22:36,521 --> 00:22:38,522
[English - US - SDH]
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