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1
00:00:14,970 --> 00:00:17,138
(sniffing)
2
00:00:21,377 --> 00:00:24,379
(sniffing)
3
00:00:24,446 --> 00:00:25,847
(whispering):
Okay.
4
00:00:26,555 --> 00:00:27,935
Dorothy and Gretchen
5
00:00:27,970 --> 00:00:29,639
Sayin' hello in the mornin'.
6
00:00:29,674 --> 00:00:31,853
Shh!
7
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:33,287
Okay.
8
00:00:33,355 --> 00:00:34,722
Bye.
9
00:00:35,214 --> 00:00:37,254
I'll see you later.
10
00:00:37,592 --> 00:00:38,561
Ugh!
11
00:00:38,596 --> 00:00:40,172
Can you get rid of that?
12
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:42,043
Guns freak me out.
13
00:00:42,078 --> 00:00:43,898
950 grams.
14
00:00:43,966 --> 00:00:46,634
They say the human soul
weighs 21 grams.
15
00:00:46,702 --> 00:00:47,902
Never mind. I'll do it.
16
00:00:49,508 --> 00:00:51,630
Hey, that's your best
garbage bag.
17
00:00:51,665 --> 00:00:52,467
You going somewhere?
18
00:00:52,502 --> 00:00:54,181
I'm just staying
at Lindsay's for a bit.
19
00:00:54,216 --> 00:00:56,235
She needs help with everything.
20
00:00:56,270 --> 00:00:57,233
See ya.
21
00:01:05,387 --> 00:01:08,413
I'm gonna leave you anyway
22
00:01:08,448 --> 00:01:10,878
I'm gonna leave you
anyway
23
00:01:10,913 --> 00:01:13,139
Gonna leave you anyway.
24
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:18,174
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
Synced for KILLERS by nyteryder79 www.addic7ed.com
25
00:01:18,232 --> 00:01:19,837
I see you callin'
26
00:01:19,893 --> 00:01:22,042
But I just keep stallin'
27
00:01:22,077 --> 00:01:23,467
Uh-huh, uh-huh
28
00:01:23,502 --> 00:01:25,654
New phone, who 'dis?
29
00:01:25,689 --> 00:01:27,180
-
Who 'dis?
- Killer hook, Linds.
30
00:01:27,215 --> 00:01:28,005
Thanks.
31
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:28,883
And guess what.
32
00:01:28,918 --> 00:01:30,871
We're going to Fire 103 today
33
00:01:30,906 --> 00:01:31,851
to drop the song
34
00:01:31,886 --> 00:01:34,457
- on Trace's show.
- Nice!
35
00:01:34,492 --> 00:01:37,138
Well, I better get back to it.
36
00:01:37,173 --> 00:01:39,377
Oh, creating a human life.
37
00:01:39,412 --> 00:01:42,240
I got to tell you,
it is so fulfilling.
38
00:01:42,275 --> 00:01:44,637
But making a grammatical
nightmare of a song
39
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:46,198
with Gretchen's
psychopath client,
40
00:01:46,233 --> 00:01:48,057
that's a really big deal,
41
00:01:48,092 --> 00:01:49,770
you know, for you.
42
00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:51,122
Oh, hey.
43
00:01:51,157 --> 00:01:52,746
Tomorrow I'm eating runny cheese
44
00:01:52,781 --> 00:01:54,402
and going on
an inverted roller coaster.
45
00:01:54,470 --> 00:01:55,509
- Want to come?
- Okay.
46
00:01:55,544 --> 00:01:57,659
Oh, sorry, I forgot.
47
00:01:57,694 --> 00:01:59,184
You can't ever do anything fun
48
00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:00,437
because you're ruining your body
49
00:02:00,472 --> 00:02:02,329
with some
ginger-headed parasite.
50
00:02:02,364 --> 00:02:04,220
- Ha!
- Whatever.
51
00:02:04,255 --> 00:02:07,506
In five months, I will be on
a Disney cruise with my family,
52
00:02:07,541 --> 00:02:08,833
while you're
at divorce court,
53
00:02:08,868 --> 00:02:11,341
looking back on the time
someone took pity on you
54
00:02:11,376 --> 00:02:13,803
and let you sing
on their stupid song.
55
00:02:15,488 --> 00:02:18,796
"New Phone Who 'Dis"
is not a stupid song.
56
00:02:18,831 --> 00:02:20,593
It's about texting!
57
00:02:20,628 --> 00:02:23,126
_
58
00:02:23,161 --> 00:02:26,000
_
59
00:02:26,034 --> 00:02:27,668
_
60
00:02:27,703 --> 00:02:29,036
"K"?
61
00:02:29,104 --> 00:02:31,251
Wow.
62
00:02:31,286 --> 00:02:32,913
You weren't lying.
63
00:02:32,948 --> 00:02:34,763
Was that 2010?
64
00:02:34,798 --> 00:02:36,332
Giant slalom.
65
00:02:36,367 --> 00:02:38,624
So what happened?
66
00:02:38,659 --> 00:02:40,327
Well, here was me
a couple of months later
67
00:02:40,362 --> 00:02:42,677
at the Winter X Games,
out of my gourd
68
00:02:42,712 --> 00:02:44,986
on a couple of bong loads of
Shaun White's sour diesel.
69
00:02:45,021 --> 00:02:46,908
Ah.
70
00:02:46,943 --> 00:02:49,361
Well, you are skiing
the general idea of the course.
71
00:02:49,396 --> 00:02:51,418
You're pole adjacent. Christ!
72
00:02:51,453 --> 00:02:52,216
Oh, God!
73
00:02:52,251 --> 00:02:54,000
Oh, that is... Oh, no!
74
00:02:54,035 --> 00:02:55,930
I broke my leg
in a dozen places.
75
00:02:55,998 --> 00:02:57,766
If you listen close,
you can hear Brent Musburger
76
00:02:57,801 --> 00:02:59,670
gag back a puke.
77
00:02:59,705 --> 00:03:00,859
So I hung it up,
78
00:03:00,894 --> 00:03:02,603
and then my grandpa died,
79
00:03:02,671 --> 00:03:04,155
and I took over his bar.
80
00:03:04,190 --> 00:03:05,499
Life is long.
81
00:03:05,534 --> 00:03:07,942
That it is, my gimpy friend.
82
00:03:09,718 --> 00:03:12,146
So, skiers.
83
00:03:12,384 --> 00:03:14,315
You guys must have large feet
84
00:03:14,383 --> 00:03:16,651
in order
to balance properly, right?
85
00:03:18,453 --> 00:03:20,683
(sighs)
86
00:03:20,718 --> 00:03:23,457
My, what big, silly feet
you have.
87
00:03:23,525 --> 00:03:25,544
- (chuckles)
- Fitting boots to those would give
88
00:03:25,579 --> 00:03:27,626
Giles Kevinson
a heart attack.
89
00:03:27,661 --> 00:03:29,686
Oh, a Buckle Your Shoes
deep cut.
90
00:03:29,721 --> 00:03:31,127
I'm so mad
91
00:03:31,162 --> 00:03:33,761
that we never got a happy ending
between Heathstead and Beatrix.
92
00:03:33,796 --> 00:03:35,298
You've not seen
the holiday special?
93
00:03:35,333 --> 00:03:36,517
There's a holiday special?
94
00:03:36,552 --> 00:03:38,020
Yes, I own a copy.
95
00:03:38,055 --> 00:03:39,207
What happens? Do they kiss?
96
00:03:39,274 --> 00:03:40,589
- Well...
- Don't say anything.
97
00:03:40,624 --> 00:03:41,864
Go get it.
I have to watch it now.
98
00:03:41,899 --> 00:03:44,487
I doubt you have
an all-region DVD player.
99
00:03:44,522 --> 00:03:46,718
I don't even know what that is!
100
00:03:46,753 --> 00:03:47,296
Can I come over
101
00:03:47,331 --> 00:03:49,572
and watch?
102
00:03:49,607 --> 00:03:51,195
Come on, come on.
103
00:03:51,230 --> 00:03:53,044
- Come on.
- Okay.
104
00:03:53,079 --> 00:03:54,323
Give me a second.
105
00:03:54,358 --> 00:03:56,343
Come on, come on.
106
00:03:56,378 --> 00:03:56,991
Come on, come on,
107
00:03:57,059 --> 00:03:58,492
come on, come on, come on.
108
00:03:58,695 --> 00:04:01,311
Come on! Come on, come on,
come on, come on, come on,
109
00:04:01,346 --> 00:04:03,344
come on, come on,
110
00:04:03,379 --> 00:04:04,673
come on, come on, come on.
111
00:04:04,708 --> 00:04:05,800
Okay, let's go.
112
00:04:05,867 --> 00:04:07,902
(laughs)
113
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,344
New phone, who 'dis?
114
00:04:10,379 --> 00:04:12,873
Who 'dis, who 'dis,
who 'dat?
115
00:04:12,941 --> 00:04:14,538
I feel you textin'
116
00:04:14,573 --> 00:04:18,273
But you get no sextin'
117
00:04:18,308 --> 00:04:20,435
New phone, who 'dis?
118
00:04:20,470 --> 00:04:23,087
-
Who 'dis, who 'dis, who 'dat?
- (cheering)
119
00:04:23,122 --> 00:04:24,866
Okay, that was, uh,
120
00:04:24,901 --> 00:04:27,619
"New Phone Who 'Dis?"
121
00:04:27,654 --> 00:04:31,579
The first solo single
by my man Sam Dresden.
122
00:04:31,614 --> 00:04:33,457
Caller, you're on Fire 103.
123
00:04:33,492 --> 00:04:35,056
Tell me what you think.
124
00:04:35,091 --> 00:04:36,089
WOMAN:
Wack.
125
00:04:36,124 --> 00:04:36,626
Hmm.
126
00:04:36,661 --> 00:04:38,132
Thoughts on Dresden's new song?
127
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,929
WOMAN 2:
Wack as hell.
128
00:04:39,964 --> 00:04:41,203
You're on with Trace. Go.
129
00:04:41,238 --> 00:04:42,325
MAN:
A step back creatively.
130
00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:43,913
Without his
former collaborators,
131
00:04:43,948 --> 00:04:45,647
Dresden leans
on typewriter drums
132
00:04:45,682 --> 00:04:47,846
and almost unmotivated
tempo shifts.
133
00:04:47,881 --> 00:04:49,910
Not helped
by the thin female vocals.
134
00:04:49,978 --> 00:04:51,400
He said I sounded thin!
135
00:04:51,435 --> 00:04:54,860
Man, my tempo shifts
are unmotivated on purpose.
136
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:55,716
Gretchen Cutler,
137
00:04:55,784 --> 00:04:57,010
Caliber Publicity.
138
00:04:57,045 --> 00:04:58,115
I think it's important
to consider
139
00:04:58,150 --> 00:05:00,448
side projects separate
from the main artists.
140
00:05:00,483 --> 00:05:02,448
Uh, Temple of the Dog,
Chris Gaines.
141
00:05:02,483 --> 00:05:04,249
These are really
old references.
142
00:05:04,284 --> 00:05:07,149
I'll look stuff up.
Anyway, context.
143
00:05:08,221 --> 00:05:10,805
TRACE: I went to commercial
as soon as you started talking,
144
00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:12,816
and your client bailed
on my show.
145
00:05:12,851 --> 00:05:14,907
Shit.
146
00:05:14,942 --> 00:05:18,378
Rims on layaway,
y'all, rims on layaway.
147
00:05:18,527 --> 00:05:22,638
Could you transfer some funds
from the account ending in 3278?
148
00:05:22,673 --> 00:05:23,716
WOMAN:
I'm sorry, sir.
149
00:05:23,751 --> 00:05:26,380
That checking account
is overdrawn.
150
00:05:26,448 --> 00:05:27,873
Hey, babe!
151
00:05:27,908 --> 00:05:29,374
I can have one.
152
00:05:29,409 --> 00:05:31,322
I'm celebrating.
153
00:05:31,357 --> 00:05:33,963
Lindsay's song totally tanked
on the radio.
154
00:05:33,998 --> 00:05:36,618
I need you to get me some food.
155
00:05:36,653 --> 00:05:38,087
Write this down.
156
00:05:39,460 --> 00:05:40,379
Two...
157
00:05:40,414 --> 00:05:41,898
Two beef and cheddars
from Arby's,
158
00:05:41,933 --> 00:05:43,909
a birthday cake,
Red Vines,
159
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:46,300
Skinnylicious Salmon Rolls
from Cheesecake Factory,
160
00:05:46,368 --> 00:05:48,501
a large popcorn from AMC...
just buy the ticket and leave.
161
00:05:48,536 --> 00:05:50,721
Oh, man, I don't have any cash.
162
00:05:50,756 --> 00:05:53,200
You never have cash lately.
Just put it on the card.
163
00:05:53,235 --> 00:05:54,496
We need the points
for the cruise anyway.
164
00:05:54,531 --> 00:05:55,843
Oh, yeah, doy.
165
00:05:55,911 --> 00:05:58,312
(baby-talking):
Thanks for the food, Daddy!
166
00:06:13,095 --> 00:06:15,683
- Sam!
- Why would you let me do that show?
167
00:06:15,718 --> 00:06:16,750
Because you wanted to.
168
00:06:16,785 --> 00:06:20,071
You said, and I quote,
"Get your negligent ass
169
00:06:20,106 --> 00:06:22,036
down to Fire 103.
We doin' a show."
170
00:06:22,104 --> 00:06:22,979
My blood sugar was low!
171
00:06:23,014 --> 00:06:25,027
You're supposed to give me
some goddamn almonds!
172
00:06:25,062 --> 00:06:27,543
I am doing the
best I can, Sam!
173
00:06:27,578 --> 00:06:29,967
Then do someone else's best,
like Hillary Clinton
174
00:06:30,002 --> 00:06:32,046
or Tori Amos circa
Little Earthquakes.
175
00:06:32,114 --> 00:06:34,250
What are you on right now,
honestly?
176
00:06:34,285 --> 00:06:36,455
- And don't lie to me.
- Adderall.
177
00:06:36,490 --> 00:06:37,671
And it's not even
working anymore.
178
00:06:37,706 --> 00:06:41,516
This entire feud is your fault,
and those dis tracks
179
00:06:41,551 --> 00:06:43,762
contain some shit that,
quite frankly,
180
00:06:43,797 --> 00:06:45,535
I'm having some problems
recovering from.
181
00:06:45,570 --> 00:06:48,330
Honey Nutz and Shitstain
literally haven't said anything
182
00:06:48,365 --> 00:06:49,729
about you that isn't true.
183
00:06:49,764 --> 00:06:51,180
They said your
grandma's a whore,
184
00:06:51,215 --> 00:06:53,488
you don't have the head shape
for a five-panel hat,
185
00:06:53,523 --> 00:06:55,071
your built-ins
aren't original,
186
00:06:55,106 --> 00:06:56,737
you're not licensed
to teach Meisner...
187
00:06:56,805 --> 00:06:58,216
Hold up, hold up!
188
00:06:58,251 --> 00:07:01,345
They said my built-ins
aren't original?
189
00:07:01,791 --> 00:07:03,682
How did they know? Listen,
190
00:07:03,717 --> 00:07:04,939
they nailed shit back then
191
00:07:04,974 --> 00:07:06,515
instead of using dowels,
Gretchen.
192
00:07:06,550 --> 00:07:07,871
There were no dowels!
193
00:07:07,926 --> 00:07:10,247
There were no dowels!
194
00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:11,296
Never!
195
00:07:11,387 --> 00:07:13,342
There were no dowels!
196
00:07:17,064 --> 00:07:20,587
Hey, you're still coming to my
improv grad performance, right?
197
00:07:20,622 --> 00:07:22,879
Oh, how could I squander
the opportunity
198
00:07:22,914 --> 00:07:24,453
to see the gifted thespians
199
00:07:24,521 --> 00:07:27,970
of the Wednesday 3:00 p.m. show?
200
00:07:28,103 --> 00:07:29,733
So I'm going
to a barbecue tomorrow
201
00:07:29,768 --> 00:07:32,353
with Dorothy's old team.
202
00:07:32,388 --> 00:07:33,712
I'm a little nervous.
203
00:07:33,747 --> 00:07:35,898
Just mimic everything they do
204
00:07:35,966 --> 00:07:38,747
like a rapidly mutating virus.
205
00:07:38,782 --> 00:07:40,317
I think I'm just gonna
be myself.
206
00:07:40,352 --> 00:07:43,261
(scoffs)
That's the worst version of you.
207
00:07:44,695 --> 00:07:48,407
So, Gretchen told me
she's staying at Lindsay's.
208
00:07:49,145 --> 00:07:50,179
Something going on?
209
00:07:50,246 --> 00:07:52,475
We're fine. Go away.
210
00:07:55,986 --> 00:07:57,453
(toilet flushes)
211
00:07:58,324 --> 00:07:59,892
Go, go, go.
212
00:08:05,885 --> 00:08:08,030
HEATHSTEAD: Here's the last
of the wellies.
213
00:08:08,098 --> 00:08:09,450
Oh, look.
214
00:08:09,485 --> 00:08:11,266
It's starting to snow.
215
00:08:11,334 --> 00:08:12,768
(bell chiming)
216
00:08:12,836 --> 00:08:14,703
Is this it?
217
00:08:20,006 --> 00:08:23,436
Beatrix, can I fetch you
a pair of wellies?
218
00:08:23,471 --> 00:08:26,199
- Oh, Heathstead,
- Oh, my God.
219
00:08:26,265 --> 00:08:28,916
I'm not here for bleeding boots.
220
00:08:29,828 --> 00:08:31,868
Well, Beatrix,
221
00:08:31,903 --> 00:08:34,229
it's been a right pleasure
222
00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:36,911
buckling your shoes.
223
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:38,850
What are you doing?!
224
00:08:48,498 --> 00:08:49,668
I forgot one thing.
225
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:52,318
Do it, do it!
226
00:08:53,528 --> 00:08:55,657
They're kissing. (laughs)
227
00:08:55,692 --> 00:08:56,779
Jimmy, they're kissing.
228
00:08:56,846 --> 00:08:58,941
Oh, my God!
229
00:08:59,041 --> 00:09:00,506
Oh, finally.
230
00:09:00,541 --> 00:09:01,638
Okay!
231
00:09:01,706 --> 00:09:04,296
Look, the truth is,
232
00:09:04,331 --> 00:09:05,969
I have a girlfriend.
233
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:09,929
Who?
Greasy-hair Queen of Dragons?
234
00:09:09,964 --> 00:09:10,673
Yeah.
235
00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:12,914
Oh, Jesus.
236
00:09:13,460 --> 00:09:15,314
So, I'm gonna go.
237
00:09:15,349 --> 00:09:17,939
And I'm gonna take this DVD
238
00:09:18,019 --> 00:09:20,050
and this DVD player
239
00:09:20,085 --> 00:09:22,184
and this HDMI cord.
240
00:09:32,235 --> 00:09:34,070
(zipping)
241
00:09:38,481 --> 00:09:40,446
I don't know how
I let it go so far,
242
00:09:40,481 --> 00:09:43,525
but I am in big trouble, Paul,
with a girl from the Internet.
243
00:09:43,593 --> 00:09:45,394
What girl?
244
00:09:47,250 --> 00:09:49,684
Fun! Great shot, nerd!
245
00:09:51,811 --> 00:09:52,922
I'm a money slave.
246
00:09:52,957 --> 00:09:54,540
- A money what?
- A money slave.
247
00:09:54,575 --> 00:09:55,862
I let a girl from the Internet
248
00:09:55,897 --> 00:09:57,090
control my finances.
249
00:09:57,125 --> 00:09:58,234
It's like S and M,
250
00:09:58,269 --> 00:09:59,410
but instead of physical pain,
251
00:09:59,445 --> 00:10:00,889
it's financial pain.
252
00:10:02,078 --> 00:10:05,381
Little pig boy,
pay for my Invisalign.
253
00:10:05,470 --> 00:10:07,212
Send money, loser!
254
00:10:07,247 --> 00:10:09,251
That's my goddess, Kasia.
255
00:10:09,468 --> 00:10:12,018
In the last four months,
I've given her, like, a hundo.
256
00:10:12,084 --> 00:10:15,066
$100,000?!
257
00:10:15,641 --> 00:10:16,787
Ha!
258
00:10:16,822 --> 00:10:18,333
Nice fart, Paul!
259
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,306
Real poopy!
260
00:10:22,487 --> 00:10:24,767
I'm ending it.
Kasia's gone rogue.
261
00:10:24,802 --> 00:10:26,523
If I don't give her $15K,
262
00:10:26,558 --> 00:10:27,787
she's gonna tell Becca.
263
00:10:27,822 --> 00:10:28,837
You got to help me.
264
00:10:28,905 --> 00:10:30,772
We're family.
265
00:10:30,949 --> 00:10:33,208
Okay, of course, Vernon.
266
00:10:33,276 --> 00:10:34,360
Oh, geez.
267
00:10:34,408 --> 00:10:35,675
Thanks, Paul.
268
00:10:38,876 --> 00:10:40,704
When I was 12,
269
00:10:40,739 --> 00:10:43,003
me and my buddy, Slider,
jacked off next to each other
270
00:10:43,038 --> 00:10:44,131
on a camping trip.
271
00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:45,945
Why are you telling me that?
272
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:48,185
Nothing.
273
00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:49,865
Just memories.
274
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:01,820
You're here!
275
00:11:01,855 --> 00:11:04,194
Hey, guys, you remember Edgar.
276
00:11:04,229 --> 00:11:04,733
Hey.
277
00:11:04,768 --> 00:11:06,403
- Hey, man.
- Hey. Uh, hi.
278
00:11:06,675 --> 00:11:08,758
I, uh, I brought this.
279
00:11:08,886 --> 00:11:11,379
Oh, wine, thanks.
280
00:11:14,191 --> 00:11:15,331
Oh, damn it, my back!
281
00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:16,395
- Are you okay?
- Oh, yeah.
282
00:11:16,430 --> 00:11:17,486
It just hurts
283
00:11:17,554 --> 00:11:18,887
'cause my dick's so big.
284
00:11:18,955 --> 00:11:20,222
(laughter)
285
00:11:20,290 --> 00:11:22,224
Nah, he's always showing
us his tiny dick,
286
00:11:22,292 --> 00:11:24,867
and the bit is he pretends
like it's all big.
287
00:11:24,902 --> 00:11:26,114
So your back
doesn't hurt?
288
00:11:26,149 --> 00:11:27,231
No, actually it does.
289
00:11:27,266 --> 00:11:28,781
Last week, my neighbor's
pit bull attacked me
290
00:11:28,816 --> 00:11:30,076
when I was carrying a pizza.
291
00:11:30,111 --> 00:11:31,466
(laughs)
292
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:33,189
That actually wasn't a bit.
293
00:11:33,236 --> 00:11:35,810
Yeah, it's really bad... I have
to sleep in a water brace.
294
00:11:35,888 --> 00:11:36,774
Probably end up in a wheelchair.
295
00:11:36,809 --> 00:11:38,714
Oh, my God,
I'm sorry.
296
00:11:38,749 --> 00:11:40,181
(laughing):
I'm just kidding, man.
297
00:11:40,216 --> 00:11:42,084
That was a bit.
298
00:11:44,358 --> 00:11:46,181
Oh, there's the team
that I coached...
299
00:11:46,249 --> 00:11:48,362
"Beverley Hills
with an Extra E."
300
00:11:48,397 --> 00:11:50,039
I should probably
go say hi.
301
00:11:50,074 --> 00:11:50,986
You good?
302
00:11:51,054 --> 00:11:53,280
Oh, y-yeah,
yeah, totally.
303
00:11:55,291 --> 00:11:56,035
Oh, hey.
304
00:11:56,070 --> 00:11:57,009
You know Edgar?
305
00:11:57,044 --> 00:11:58,439
He's the one putting
it in Dorothy
306
00:11:58,474 --> 00:12:00,005
and taking it
back out again.
307
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,831
Nah, (chuckles)
I usually just leave it in.
308
00:12:02,899 --> 00:12:04,527
- Uh...
- So, anyway,
309
00:12:04,562 --> 00:12:07,066
I'm putting this packet together
for the new Hee Haw reboot.
310
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:07,819
Man, that...
311
00:12:11,454 --> 00:12:12,579
(knocking on window)
312
00:12:12,614 --> 00:12:14,167
Goddamn it.
313
00:12:14,202 --> 00:12:16,228
What?!
314
00:12:16,284 --> 00:12:17,618
JIMMY:
Hello.
315
00:12:20,535 --> 00:12:22,521
Red licorice vodka?
316
00:12:22,556 --> 00:12:24,183
Were you expecting Chris Hansen?
317
00:12:24,218 --> 00:12:25,306
Why are you here?
318
00:12:25,372 --> 00:12:28,593
Last night, a certifiable
fox hit on me,
319
00:12:28,628 --> 00:12:30,492
and I did not respond.
320
00:12:30,664 --> 00:12:32,394
I masturbated furiously
afterwards,
321
00:12:32,462 --> 00:12:34,730
but only after I'd rejected her.
322
00:12:34,797 --> 00:12:36,583
You need to stop.
323
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,147
It's like you have amnesia.
324
00:12:38,182 --> 00:12:39,929
Every day, you think things
are gonna be different,
325
00:12:39,964 --> 00:12:42,346
and I'll just be happy.
326
00:12:42,381 --> 00:12:46,748
Well, maybe you can
understand this.
327
00:12:46,783 --> 00:12:49,411
I feel nothing.
328
00:12:49,684 --> 00:12:52,214
About anything.
329
00:12:52,282 --> 00:12:54,631
Dogs, candy,
old Blondie records,
330
00:12:54,666 --> 00:12:57,612
nachos, you, us, nothing.
331
00:12:57,647 --> 00:13:02,290
So for the last time, please go.
332
00:13:13,258 --> 00:13:14,458
Ugh.
333
00:13:23,213 --> 00:13:25,699
TRACE: You're listening
to Clockin' Out with Trace
334
00:13:25,734 --> 00:13:27,381
on Fire 103.
335
00:13:27,416 --> 00:13:29,329
TRACE:
Yeah, welcome back now.
336
00:13:29,364 --> 00:13:32,244
Everybody's been talking
about what happened
337
00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:33,780
on yesterday's show.
338
00:13:33,815 --> 00:13:35,980
So when Sam called up, looking
to apologize, I was like,
339
00:13:36,015 --> 00:13:40,593
"You need to come down here,
man-to-man, face-to-Trace."
340
00:13:40,628 --> 00:13:42,585
I wasn't trying
to be disrespectful
341
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:44,271
by walking out yesterday.
342
00:13:44,306 --> 00:13:45,628
TRACE:
Hold up, hold up.
343
00:13:45,696 --> 00:13:47,128
I got a surprise for you.
344
00:13:47,163 --> 00:13:51,117
In the building...
S-stain and Honey Nutz!
345
00:13:51,152 --> 00:13:54,367
Live on Fire 103, 'cause
we keeps it real here.
346
00:13:54,402 --> 00:13:55,471
Gentlemen.
347
00:13:55,506 --> 00:13:56,906
(Trace grunts)
348
00:13:57,245 --> 00:14:00,055
So, Sam,
349
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:02,245
you had
something to say?
350
00:14:02,313 --> 00:14:04,832
I feel bad for walking
out yesterday.
351
00:14:04,949 --> 00:14:06,964
But I'm happy
that I'm here now,
352
00:14:06,999 --> 00:14:08,972
so I can tell you...
353
00:14:09,007 --> 00:14:11,633
what nasty mother
(bleep) y'all are!
354
00:14:11,668 --> 00:14:13,292
(bleep) you, Shitstain!
355
00:14:13,327 --> 00:14:15,232
(bleep) you,
Honey Nutz!
356
00:14:15,326 --> 00:14:17,861
- And (bleep) you, Trace!
- Ouch.
357
00:14:17,896 --> 00:14:20,849
- Almonds, Sam, almonds, almonds.
- I don't want no goddamn almonds.
358
00:14:21,289 --> 00:14:23,703
Well, caller, you on
with Trace, go.
359
00:14:23,738 --> 00:14:27,318
WOMAN: I mean, Sam,
you coming off like a bitch.
360
00:14:27,353 --> 00:14:29,205
Who you calling a bitch?
361
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,632
I will kill you.
362
00:14:30,679 --> 00:14:31,941
Come down to the station.
363
00:14:32,009 --> 00:14:33,814
Fine, what's the address?
364
00:14:33,849 --> 00:14:36,177
Oh, you don't have Google?
365
00:14:36,212 --> 00:14:39,466
Look it up, you poor-as-shit,
no-search-engine-having
366
00:14:39,501 --> 00:14:41,562
hand-job prostitute!
367
00:14:41,597 --> 00:14:44,120
I am a one in a generation.
368
00:14:44,252 --> 00:14:45,731
A disrupter.
369
00:14:45,766 --> 00:14:48,372
You know how in that Charlie
Chaplin movie, there's this ho,
370
00:14:48,407 --> 00:14:51,657
walking and talking on a cell
phone even though it's 1928?
371
00:14:51,703 --> 00:14:54,677
I'm that future-ass
cell phone ho!
372
00:14:54,773 --> 00:14:57,734
Trace, I'm out here every day,
373
00:14:57,769 --> 00:14:59,973
changing the face
of everything...
374
00:15:00,008 --> 00:15:04,421
music, art, amusement parks,
375
00:15:04,456 --> 00:15:08,942
farm-to-table, claymation,
laser shows...
376
00:15:08,977 --> 00:15:12,175
MAN: Oh, whoa, careful, man,
that's medicinal.
377
00:15:12,932 --> 00:15:15,701
(East L.A. accent):
They call me Dr. Weed.
378
00:15:15,736 --> 00:15:19,322
They call me Dr. Weed...!
379
00:15:19,398 --> 00:15:21,269
Boy, I'm gonna
get you some water.
380
00:15:21,304 --> 00:15:23,534
They call me Dr. Weed, bitch!
381
00:15:23,569 --> 00:15:25,436
(others laugh)
382
00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:29,646
No way Dorothy
doesn't love this.
383
00:15:31,934 --> 00:15:34,637
Hey, come hang out.
384
00:15:34,672 --> 00:15:36,902
Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't
have gotten so messed up.
385
00:15:36,937 --> 00:15:38,214
It happens, let's go.
386
00:15:38,249 --> 00:15:40,104
- I'm so over this party.
- I'm sorry.
387
00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:41,751
I apologize.
388
00:15:41,786 --> 00:15:46,082
From the bottom of my...
389
00:15:46,849 --> 00:15:48,867
Jesus Christ, Edgar,
put those away.
390
00:15:48,902 --> 00:15:52,706
Dr. Weed... is
going to live...
391
00:15:52,791 --> 00:15:54,810
forever!
392
00:15:54,845 --> 00:15:57,360
Cannonball!
393
00:15:57,428 --> 00:15:59,459
(shouting)
394
00:15:59,494 --> 00:16:01,503
I only have one thing
to say to you fools,
395
00:16:01,538 --> 00:16:03,942
and it is this...
how dare you?!
396
00:16:03,977 --> 00:16:05,238
You stopped coming
to sessions.
397
00:16:05,273 --> 00:16:07,846
All of my success is for us.
398
00:16:07,881 --> 00:16:10,000
Because unlike you,
I'm loyal as shit.
399
00:16:10,035 --> 00:16:10,849
Then why didn't you show up
400
00:16:10,884 --> 00:16:12,865
to Jaclyn's dental school
graduation?
401
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,296
I told you, I don't
like hanging out
402
00:16:14,331 --> 00:16:16,488
with those rich USC assholes.
403
00:16:16,523 --> 00:16:19,385
- Your dad is a lawyer for CBS.
- (tires screeching)
404
00:16:24,298 --> 00:16:25,619
Which one of y'all is Sam?
405
00:16:25,654 --> 00:16:27,733
Are you that bitch
that called the station?
406
00:16:28,151 --> 00:16:29,639
- Oh!
- Oh, no!
407
00:16:29,674 --> 00:16:31,104
He got that Denzel face.
408
00:16:31,139 --> 00:16:32,683
Size her up, man.
409
00:16:32,718 --> 00:16:34,317
- Stop it!
- HONEY NUTZ: Get up, Stain!
410
00:16:34,352 --> 00:16:35,887
Stop it! Aah!
411
00:16:35,922 --> 00:16:38,807
HONEY NUTZ: You got to fight,
Stain! Get up, Stain!
412
00:16:38,842 --> 00:16:39,835
Stain!
413
00:16:39,870 --> 00:16:41,337
Oh, I'm sorry.
414
00:16:42,473 --> 00:16:44,521
Oh... I'm ready for you now.
415
00:16:49,750 --> 00:16:51,880
"Can't you afford a search engine."
416
00:16:51,915 --> 00:16:53,516
(taunts indistinctly)
417
00:17:01,376 --> 00:17:03,613
- Run.
- Let's go!
418
00:17:08,382 --> 00:17:10,217
(car engine revs)
419
00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,684
You okay, man?
420
00:17:13,719 --> 00:17:15,403
- (tires screeching)
- That was crazy.
421
00:17:15,461 --> 00:17:19,171
That little one was
kind of hot, though.
422
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:21,726
SAM:
Guys, I'm sorry.
423
00:17:21,761 --> 00:17:23,014
SHITSTAIN:
Yeah, me, too, man.
424
00:17:23,049 --> 00:17:24,242
HONEY NUTZ:
I'm sorry, too.
425
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,111
Take me to my Volt.
426
00:17:27,484 --> 00:17:29,285
(groaning)
427
00:17:29,353 --> 00:17:31,681
HONEY NUTZ: That little
one can swing, man.
428
00:17:35,644 --> 00:17:37,676
I mean, who does
Lindsay think she is?
429
00:17:37,711 --> 00:17:39,306
- She's not even a trained singer.
- (cell phone buzzes)
430
00:17:39,395 --> 00:17:42,349
I'm the one who was almost
on Kids Incorporated.
431
00:17:43,548 --> 00:17:45,377
_
432
00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:46,427
(cell phone continues buzzing)
_
433
00:17:46,462 --> 00:17:47,799
_
434
00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:48,931
_
435
00:17:48,966 --> 00:17:50,708
Ugh, that bitch.
436
00:17:50,743 --> 00:17:52,489
I know, right?!
437
00:17:52,524 --> 00:17:53,096
Can't even believe
438
00:17:53,131 --> 00:17:55,143
- we're sisters sometimes.
- (Vernon moans)
439
00:17:56,026 --> 00:17:59,231
(moans whiningly)
440
00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:01,147
Uh, uh, honey?
441
00:18:01,182 --> 00:18:02,256
Honey?
442
00:18:02,291 --> 00:18:04,426
Honey, if you
could...?
443
00:18:07,217 --> 00:18:09,084
We're closed.
444
00:18:11,496 --> 00:18:13,314
Why are your lips all red?
445
00:18:13,349 --> 00:18:15,247
Oh, flavored vodka.
446
00:18:15,282 --> 00:18:16,861
Yikes.
447
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:17,692
You want some coffee?
448
00:18:17,727 --> 00:18:19,134
Nah.
449
00:18:19,735 --> 00:18:21,043
How about some Scotch?
450
00:18:21,078 --> 00:18:22,579
(chuckles)
451
00:18:24,815 --> 00:18:27,349
Hey, uh, wait, Dor...
452
00:18:27,384 --> 00:18:29,168
Dorothy, wait.
453
00:18:29,203 --> 00:18:31,862
Hey, I didn't do anything
your friends don't do,
454
00:18:31,897 --> 00:18:33,864
and you spent seven
years with them.
455
00:18:33,899 --> 00:18:36,038
No, I wasted
seven years on them.
456
00:18:36,073 --> 00:18:37,702
I woke up one day
in a rotting Victorian
457
00:18:37,737 --> 00:18:39,399
with three smelly dudes.
458
00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:41,436
And then you came along,
a new person,
459
00:18:41,471 --> 00:18:45,032
who's honest
and sweet and rare.
460
00:18:45,067 --> 00:18:46,560
But you know what, maybe
I just make bad decisions.
461
00:18:46,595 --> 00:18:49,608
I mean, I bought a chocolate
fountain... who does that?
462
00:18:51,281 --> 00:18:53,268
I don't want to be
a bad decision.
463
00:18:53,303 --> 00:18:55,940
I'm 33, I need
my life to move forward.
464
00:18:56,011 --> 00:18:57,587
Uh, uh, Jimmy told me
that I shouldn't be...
465
00:18:57,622 --> 00:18:58,735
Okay, I should have known.
466
00:18:58,809 --> 00:19:00,945
Don't ever listen
to Jimmy's advice about me.
467
00:19:01,050 --> 00:19:02,450
Okay.
468
00:19:04,693 --> 00:19:06,842
Do you still like me?
469
00:19:06,939 --> 00:19:08,721
Of course I do.
470
00:19:08,876 --> 00:19:11,327
So much that it sucks.
471
00:19:24,918 --> 00:19:27,947
Oh.
472
00:19:28,136 --> 00:19:30,667
That fight really
scared me, Gretch.
473
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:33,015
Lying in that trash,
474
00:19:33,101 --> 00:19:37,271
my life flashed before my eyes.
475
00:19:37,395 --> 00:19:38,963
Dick.
476
00:19:39,195 --> 00:19:41,746
Following Smash
Mouth around Europe.
477
00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:45,755
Negative after negative
customer service interaction.
478
00:19:45,790 --> 00:19:46,971
Divorce.
479
00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:48,514
More dick.
480
00:19:48,549 --> 00:19:51,347
I realized I really need
to get my shit together.
481
00:19:51,382 --> 00:19:53,249
(sighs)
482
00:19:54,581 --> 00:19:57,916
Hey, are you okay?
483
00:19:57,984 --> 00:20:01,587
When I pulled a gun on that
girl, coked out of my face,
484
00:20:01,749 --> 00:20:05,557
I suddenly felt
this strange feeling.
485
00:20:05,730 --> 00:20:07,235
I was bored.
486
00:20:07,270 --> 00:20:12,605
You were bored almost getting
murdered by female gang ladies?
487
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,841
That's really
messed up, isn't it?
488
00:20:15,932 --> 00:20:17,578
Yes.
489
00:20:20,381 --> 00:20:22,916
This isn't
working anymore.
490
00:20:27,633 --> 00:20:31,405
I'm sorry you don't
feel anything, Gretchen.
491
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,050
Me, too.
492
00:20:40,548 --> 00:20:42,363
(woman laughs)
493
00:20:42,398 --> 00:20:43,807
Okay.
494
00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:48,953
Right, let's play...
a hypothetical.
495
00:20:48,988 --> 00:20:52,645
All right, so let's say
I was your boyfriend.
496
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:53,800
Okay.
497
00:20:53,835 --> 00:20:55,329
Could I drink here for free?
498
00:20:55,364 --> 00:20:56,736
(scoffs)
Of course.
499
00:20:56,771 --> 00:20:59,185
Could I have my own stool?
500
00:20:59,220 --> 00:21:00,760
Sure.
501
00:21:00,795 --> 00:21:03,015
With a plaque
with my name on it.
502
00:21:03,050 --> 00:21:05,890
Wait, in this fantasy, you
get everything you want?
503
00:21:05,925 --> 00:21:07,125
- Uh-huh.
- Free drinks,
504
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,592
- your own stool.
- Uh-huh.
505
00:21:09,627 --> 00:21:11,362
What do I get?
506
00:21:11,397 --> 00:21:15,239
Well, you have to ask
for what you want.
507
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,045
Would you dedicate
your book to me?
508
00:21:18,518 --> 00:21:20,987
Absolutely.
509
00:21:21,022 --> 00:21:22,617
Where would your plaque be?
510
00:21:22,652 --> 00:21:24,332
Well, here.
511
00:21:24,367 --> 00:21:25,729
Where?
512
00:21:25,764 --> 00:21:26,455
Here.
513
00:21:26,490 --> 00:21:28,169
Look close.
514
00:21:28,204 --> 00:21:30,175
Can you picture it?
515
00:21:30,376 --> 00:21:33,425
It'll be so beautiful.
516
00:21:43,099 --> 00:21:44,122
I should go.
517
00:21:44,157 --> 00:21:45,991
Yeah.
518
00:21:55,743 --> 00:21:57,376
Night, Nina.
519
00:21:57,593 --> 00:21:59,427
Night, Jimmy.
520
00:22:09,486 --> 00:22:11,480
I forgot one thing.
521
00:22:14,132 --> 00:22:17,296
Find yourself now
522
00:22:17,331 --> 00:22:19,825
In the shade
523
00:22:19,875 --> 00:22:24,425
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