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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,414 --> 00:00:23,494 Good work, Vlad. 2 00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:25,774 Good work. 3 00:00:30,254 --> 00:00:32,374 HE LAUGHS 4 00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:36,814 Mr Count? 5 00:00:39,054 --> 00:00:41,934 Do you normally read this sort of thing? 6 00:00:41,934 --> 00:00:45,134 I found it in your confiscation cupboard. 7 00:00:45,134 --> 00:00:48,974 Yes, I caught a student reading it in assembly. 8 00:00:48,974 --> 00:00:52,414 Are you enjoying it? 9 00:00:52,414 --> 00:00:58,134 Ah, a haunting love story of a vampire man... 10 00:00:58,134 --> 00:00:59,534 and a human woman. 11 00:01:02,174 --> 00:01:05,334 Sentimental and completely unrealistic. 12 00:01:05,334 --> 00:01:10,734 - I don't suppose you've confiscated the sequel? - I'll see what I can do. 13 00:01:10,734 --> 00:01:13,294 Now, for a more pressing matter - 14 00:01:13,294 --> 00:01:17,134 - the graffiti. - Some of it is hopelessly inaccurate. 15 00:01:17,134 --> 00:01:21,134 Oh, but I'm sure nobody believes a word. 16 00:01:21,134 --> 00:01:26,014 Seriously, it will be painted over before parents' evening? 17 00:01:26,014 --> 00:01:30,454 You promised to release the funds. Don't tell me you've forgotten? 18 00:01:30,454 --> 00:01:35,654 Don't worry, everything will be all right. 19 00:01:35,654 --> 00:01:37,174 You did forget. 20 00:01:40,054 --> 00:01:43,974 I promise you, it will be gone by Monday. 21 00:01:43,974 --> 00:01:47,014 I'm not doing it. Clean up your own mess. 22 00:01:47,014 --> 00:01:49,414 I'm too busy cleaning up YOUR mess! 23 00:01:49,414 --> 00:01:52,974 I have to smooth things over with Von Racalud in person. 24 00:01:52,974 --> 00:01:57,374 I only posted him to Transylvania, you garlicked Goody McEldrich! 25 00:01:57,374 --> 00:02:02,494 - There's a big difference! - What? - I didn't get caught. 26 00:02:02,494 --> 00:02:05,574 You need to learn that actions have consequences. 27 00:02:05,574 --> 00:02:08,734 Being a vampire isn't all about mindless violence. 28 00:02:08,734 --> 00:02:13,974 That's just the fun part. You need to learn discipline! 29 00:02:13,974 --> 00:02:17,534 I'm not spending my whole weekend cleaning up graffiti. 30 00:02:17,534 --> 00:02:20,974 Of course not! You need to keep up with your training too. 31 00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:24,534 I've been training every night this week. 32 00:02:24,534 --> 00:02:29,294 - You still haven't mastered telepathy. - I hope you can read this! 33 00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:37,574 Actually, I can. And the answer - I seriously doubt it would fit. 34 00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:43,094 - Bertrand, make sure he doesn't slack off. - You can't tell him what to do. 35 00:02:43,094 --> 00:02:47,134 Unfortunately, he can. Until you're 18, I must obey the Regent, 36 00:02:47,134 --> 00:02:54,294 - as I must you. - You see, Vladdy, remember, hard work and discipline. 37 00:03:10,814 --> 00:03:14,054 I'm off on a mercy visit to see my old friend, Racalud. 38 00:03:14,054 --> 00:03:18,254 Yes, he's been very poorly after a nasty package holiday incident. 39 00:03:18,254 --> 00:03:21,534 Well, I hope you have a good flight. 40 00:03:21,534 --> 00:03:24,294 It's so good of you to keep an eye on my Vladdy. 41 00:03:24,294 --> 00:03:28,014 - He's at a difficult age. - Teenage boys think they know it all. 42 00:03:28,014 --> 00:03:30,254 They're desperate for independence 43 00:03:30,254 --> 00:03:33,774 - but they need strong parental guidance. - You are so right. 44 00:03:33,774 --> 00:03:36,454 How did you get to be so wise at such a young age? 45 00:03:36,454 --> 00:03:41,334 - I'm not that young. - You're wiser than Vlad's mother and she's 250. 46 00:03:41,334 --> 00:03:42,494 SHE GIGGLES 47 00:03:47,414 --> 00:03:49,374 Have a good trip. 48 00:03:51,734 --> 00:03:54,734 Oi! Scram! This is my patch! 49 00:03:54,734 --> 00:03:57,934 Quite right, Renfield, get rid of them. 50 00:03:57,934 --> 00:03:59,974 RENFIELD CLEARS HIS THROAT 51 00:04:05,254 --> 00:04:07,814 I said...SCRAM! 52 00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:11,294 - And take that mangy dog... - Hello, handsome. 53 00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,774 Oh, don't you look the business! 54 00:04:16,014 --> 00:04:21,774 I don't suppose you'd like to come inside for a cup of tea? 55 00:04:21,774 --> 00:04:22,894 This way. 56 00:04:25,094 --> 00:04:28,294 'Dearest Sis, I know you think you can save me 57 00:04:28,294 --> 00:04:33,054 'by slaying the Draculas, but I don't want you to get hurt. 58 00:04:33,054 --> 00:04:36,974 'Please, Erin, get out of there before it's too late.' 59 00:04:40,094 --> 00:04:43,454 Ingrid. Feeling better? 60 00:04:43,454 --> 00:04:46,614 Listen to this. "Members of a shady organisation 61 00:04:46,614 --> 00:04:49,974 "known as the Blood Brotherhood claim to have evidence 62 00:04:49,974 --> 00:04:52,814 "that Vladimir Dracula is not the Chosen One. 63 00:04:52,814 --> 00:04:56,334 "It is now their mission to wipe out the entire Dracula clan." 64 00:04:56,334 --> 00:04:58,574 Ha! I knew there'd been a mistake. 65 00:04:58,574 --> 00:05:02,094 Vlad could never be the Chosen One, he's far too pathetic. 66 00:05:04,334 --> 00:05:07,974 "The Brotherhood are asking anyone with information regarding 67 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:11,374 "the whereabouts of the Dracula family to call the number below." 68 00:05:11,374 --> 00:05:14,734 - Aren't you worried? - They'll never find us here. 69 00:05:14,734 --> 00:05:17,574 And even if they did... 70 00:05:17,574 --> 00:05:20,454 - bring them on. - No disrespect, Ingrid, 71 00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:24,814 but you're hardly at your fittest. And the Count's not even here. 72 00:05:38,294 --> 00:05:40,814 - Argh! - Sorry! 73 00:05:40,814 --> 00:05:43,854 Don't apologise! I've never seen you so focussed. 74 00:05:43,854 --> 00:05:47,014 This new technique's bringing out your killer instinct. 75 00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,734 Come on, let's go again. 76 00:05:48,734 --> 00:05:51,654 Not now. It's time for telepathy practice. 77 00:05:51,654 --> 00:05:54,294 Argh, my father can go bite himself! 78 00:05:56,774 --> 00:06:00,934 - We must obey the Regent. - This Regent thing is doing my head in! 79 00:06:00,934 --> 00:06:04,974 Remember - discipline and self control. 80 00:06:04,974 --> 00:06:09,214 Fine, we'll do the stupid telepathy thing. 81 00:06:10,214 --> 00:06:13,534 Just clear your mind. Focus on the images 82 00:06:13,534 --> 00:06:14,894 and send them to me. 83 00:06:14,894 --> 00:06:19,294 As you're still learning, I'll communicate with you on this, OK? 84 00:06:19,294 --> 00:06:22,414 Message received. Whisky, tango, foxtrot. 85 00:06:22,414 --> 00:06:24,894 - Over. - Over. 86 00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,574 Renfield! 87 00:06:36,734 --> 00:06:40,534 What does a vampire have to do to get a snack around here? 88 00:06:44,174 --> 00:06:47,454 I'm, uh... I'm not the headmaster, exactly. 89 00:06:47,454 --> 00:06:50,774 More the waste disposal engineer 90 00:06:50,774 --> 00:06:52,454 and hygiene manager. 91 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:58,854 It's a lot of responsibility... but the perks are very good. 92 00:06:58,854 --> 00:07:04,654 Of course, the hardest thing to deal with...is the loneliness. 93 00:07:04,654 --> 00:07:06,174 And I like... 94 00:07:09,614 --> 00:07:13,054 'Try the next one. 95 00:07:13,054 --> 00:07:14,494 'Concentrate.' 96 00:07:16,014 --> 00:07:20,054 A snake...in some grass. 97 00:07:24,334 --> 00:07:28,734 A snake...in...grass. 98 00:07:31,014 --> 00:07:32,734 This is stupid! 99 00:07:49,814 --> 00:07:51,454 Hello, darling. 100 00:07:51,454 --> 00:07:53,294 Mum? 101 00:07:56,214 --> 00:07:57,814 Renfield! 102 00:08:03,054 --> 00:08:05,174 Where did you come from? 103 00:08:05,174 --> 00:08:07,934 What happened to you? 104 00:08:07,934 --> 00:08:10,574 You look...awful. 105 00:08:12,054 --> 00:08:13,654 Patrick left me. 106 00:08:13,654 --> 00:08:18,654 - Really? - Cast me aside for some blonde she-wolf arm candy. 107 00:08:18,654 --> 00:08:20,774 Well, I'm sure he'll take you back, 108 00:08:20,774 --> 00:08:23,334 - he always has done before. - Not this time. 109 00:08:23,334 --> 00:08:27,334 She's only 100 years old. How can I compete with that? 110 00:08:27,334 --> 00:08:29,654 'OK, I'm getting an image. 111 00:08:29,654 --> 00:08:33,894 'A horned devil woman with a forked tongue and cloven hooves.' 112 00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:38,214 That's how you see me? 113 00:08:39,374 --> 00:08:44,534 Thank you, Vlad. If only Patrick would see me that way! 114 00:08:44,534 --> 00:08:50,294 It's good to see you. It's been a while since I had a live meal. 115 00:08:50,294 --> 00:08:53,654 You won't make me sick, will you? 116 00:08:53,654 --> 00:08:59,294 Sorry, but I'm gagging for a pint of warm, fresh... 117 00:08:59,294 --> 00:09:02,934 fluffy...cuddly... 118 00:09:04,894 --> 00:09:09,534 Curse you! Why d'you have to be so cute? 119 00:09:09,534 --> 00:09:14,374 Patrick's just one werewolf. There's plenty more fish in the sea. 120 00:09:14,374 --> 00:09:17,974 Look at me. What man would want this? 121 00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,574 'Renfield.' 122 00:09:19,574 --> 00:09:22,254 I'm definitely getting an image of Renfield. 123 00:09:22,254 --> 00:09:23,334 Forget it. 124 00:09:23,334 --> 00:09:25,174 I've had it with men. 125 00:09:25,174 --> 00:09:29,654 I'm going to be an independent woman and stand on my own two feet. 126 00:09:29,654 --> 00:09:32,014 What, really? You? 127 00:09:33,174 --> 00:09:34,854 You don't think I can do it? 128 00:09:34,854 --> 00:09:38,534 Well, it's just it doesn't seem to be going very well so far. 129 00:09:38,534 --> 00:09:41,774 You know, you've really grown. 130 00:09:41,774 --> 00:09:45,294 - How so? - I mean inside. 131 00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:49,574 You're strong. You're not a boy anymore. You're a man. 132 00:09:53,774 --> 00:09:56,174 I'm proud of you. 133 00:09:58,294 --> 00:10:00,214 Goodbye. 134 00:10:05,614 --> 00:10:07,494 Wait... 135 00:10:07,494 --> 00:10:10,414 You can't leave like this. 136 00:10:11,774 --> 00:10:14,734 You can get yourself cleaned up in Dad's room. 137 00:10:14,734 --> 00:10:17,854 - Second on the left. - Thank you, Vladdy. 138 00:10:22,094 --> 00:10:27,454 - That's your mum? - Yeah. Dad will go BATS when he finds her here. 139 00:10:27,454 --> 00:10:30,574 I'm sensing your mum and dad have got a few issues? 140 00:10:30,574 --> 00:10:34,494 Just the usual stuff - lying, cheating, multiple murder attempts. 141 00:10:34,494 --> 00:10:38,534 - Why not just tell her to get lost? - Because she's my mum. 142 00:10:44,934 --> 00:10:48,654 SHE CACKLES 143 00:10:58,974 --> 00:11:01,454 - Mum! - Vladdy. 144 00:11:01,454 --> 00:11:03,734 You look great. 145 00:11:03,734 --> 00:11:05,774 Thank you, darling. 146 00:11:05,774 --> 00:11:11,574 - So... What are you doing? - What does it look like? 147 00:11:17,494 --> 00:11:18,814 Mum... 148 00:11:21,694 --> 00:11:23,654 Time for a tea break? 149 00:11:25,494 --> 00:11:26,894 Sorry, who are you? 150 00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:28,774 Oh, er, this is my mum. 151 00:11:29,654 --> 00:11:32,774 Magda...Carmella...Elizabetta... 152 00:11:32,774 --> 00:11:36,854 Barthoria...Westenra. 153 00:11:38,774 --> 00:11:40,974 Alex...McCauley. 154 00:11:40,974 --> 00:11:42,534 Biccie? 155 00:11:42,534 --> 00:11:44,414 No, thank you. 156 00:11:49,134 --> 00:11:51,214 Keep up the good work. 157 00:11:51,214 --> 00:11:54,534 Nice to meet you, Ms Westenra. 158 00:11:58,094 --> 00:11:59,894 Urgh. 159 00:11:59,894 --> 00:12:02,214 What a drab little peasant. 160 00:12:02,214 --> 00:12:04,694 What does your father see in her? 161 00:12:04,694 --> 00:12:08,134 - Nothing. She's just head teacher. - SHE CHUCKLES 162 00:12:08,134 --> 00:12:10,174 I know your father. 163 00:12:10,174 --> 00:12:13,374 He always had this perverted thing for breathers. 164 00:12:13,374 --> 00:12:17,814 You're being paranoid. Miss McCauley is not Dad's type. 165 00:12:17,814 --> 00:12:19,494 SHE SIGHS 166 00:12:19,494 --> 00:12:20,894 What's up? 167 00:12:20,894 --> 00:12:23,094 You should be preparing yourself. 168 00:12:23,094 --> 00:12:25,974 Your glorious destiny is the Chosen One, 169 00:12:25,974 --> 00:12:30,254 - not slaving away like a common peasant. - Don't tell me, tell Dad. 170 00:12:30,254 --> 00:12:33,414 He's my Regent. I have to do what he says till I'm 18. 171 00:12:33,414 --> 00:12:36,534 You're twice the man your father ever was. 172 00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:38,574 Why should you listen to him? 173 00:12:38,574 --> 00:12:42,014 Like I said, he's my Regent. 174 00:12:47,854 --> 00:12:50,334 DIAL TONE 175 00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:54,534 - BEEP: - 'You have reached the Blood Brotherhood. 176 00:12:54,534 --> 00:12:57,574 'If you wish to join the brotherhood, press one. 177 00:12:57,574 --> 00:13:01,454 'If you have information about the Draculas, press two.' 178 00:13:05,374 --> 00:13:07,134 'Speak.' 179 00:13:07,134 --> 00:13:11,294 The Draculas are staying at Garside Grange school in Lancashire. 180 00:13:11,294 --> 00:13:13,574 'We'll be there.' 181 00:13:14,854 --> 00:13:17,134 It'll be clean and quick, right? 182 00:13:17,134 --> 00:13:20,854 I mean, you won't hurt them more than you have to? 183 00:13:21,854 --> 00:13:23,734 LINE GOES DEAD Hello? 184 00:13:23,734 --> 00:13:26,214 H-hello? 185 00:13:31,414 --> 00:13:36,334 - But - I - couldn't be Regent. Such responsibility! 186 00:13:36,334 --> 00:13:39,574 That's man's work. I wouldn't know what to do. 187 00:13:39,574 --> 00:13:43,374 That's the beauty of it. You wouldn't have to DO anything. 188 00:13:43,374 --> 00:13:45,174 I'd make all the decisions. 189 00:13:45,174 --> 00:13:48,534 You really want ME to be Regent? 190 00:13:48,534 --> 00:13:51,334 Yes, Mum, I want you to be my Regent. 191 00:13:53,774 --> 00:13:56,854 - Er...what's that? - Our contract. 192 00:13:56,854 --> 00:13:59,574 - That was quick! - Not really. 193 00:13:59,574 --> 00:14:02,014 It took me months to get that drawn up. 194 00:14:07,014 --> 00:14:09,614 I'm cancelling this right now. 195 00:14:09,614 --> 00:14:11,774 How do I do that? 196 00:14:11,774 --> 00:14:15,254 - You don't. Only - I - can cancel the contract. 197 00:14:15,254 --> 00:14:18,494 You devious, conniving witch. 198 00:14:18,494 --> 00:14:22,774 You say ALL the right things. 199 00:14:24,174 --> 00:14:26,094 Is it legally binding? 200 00:14:26,094 --> 00:14:30,694 Afraid it's water-tight. Someone really knows their vampire law. 201 00:14:30,694 --> 00:14:33,214 Patrick's lawyer's the best. 202 00:14:33,214 --> 00:14:35,134 Patrick was in on this? 203 00:14:35,134 --> 00:14:37,654 - You're back with HIM? - We never split up. 204 00:14:37,654 --> 00:14:40,494 As if any man would leave THIS! 205 00:14:40,494 --> 00:14:41,974 DOOR OPENS 206 00:14:41,974 --> 00:14:46,854 Ah, the peasant. Take that outside and burn it. 207 00:14:50,014 --> 00:14:53,374 - Put it down, Renfield. - Patrick and I need the space! 208 00:14:53,374 --> 00:14:55,414 He's NOT moving in here. 209 00:14:55,414 --> 00:14:56,934 You don't have a choice. 210 00:14:56,934 --> 00:15:00,894 Now, do play nicely when Patrick arrives for the photo-shoot. 211 00:15:00,894 --> 00:15:03,174 - Photo-shoot? - Digital, of course. 212 00:15:03,174 --> 00:15:07,054 FANG! Magazine are doing The Chosen One And His Regent. 213 00:15:07,054 --> 00:15:09,134 We're going to be stars. 214 00:15:09,134 --> 00:15:12,174 We're supposed to be in hiding. You'll get us slain! 215 00:15:12,174 --> 00:15:16,294 Don't be so dramatic. And you might want to get changed. 216 00:15:16,294 --> 00:15:18,734 - They'll be here in 20 minutes. - I'm not doing it. 217 00:15:18,734 --> 00:15:20,694 HE YELLS 218 00:15:20,694 --> 00:15:25,574 The Ward agrees to forfeit all powers against his Regent. 219 00:15:27,494 --> 00:15:30,974 No... I don't think this tutor's working out, Vlad. 220 00:15:30,974 --> 00:15:32,494 Go! 221 00:15:32,494 --> 00:15:35,414 THUNDER CLAP, SHE CACKLES 222 00:15:40,134 --> 00:15:42,694 This is nice! 223 00:15:42,694 --> 00:15:44,494 Please, you have to help me! 224 00:15:44,494 --> 00:15:46,814 I must obey the Regent's orders. 225 00:15:46,814 --> 00:15:50,134 I'm sorry, Vlad. Good luck. 226 00:15:55,694 --> 00:15:59,334 - What are you doing? - Playing with my food. 227 00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:03,214 - Where's your dawky tutor going? - Mum sent him away. 228 00:16:03,214 --> 00:16:05,694 Mum? She's back? 229 00:16:05,694 --> 00:16:08,254 You loser. You fell for one of her scams. 230 00:16:08,254 --> 00:16:13,134 - She tricked me into making her Regent. - Nice one, Mum! 231 00:16:13,134 --> 00:16:15,934 - I feel sick. - So you should! - Girl Power's finally arrived 232 00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:21,054 in the vampire world and we're going to make your life a living hell. 233 00:16:21,054 --> 00:16:22,814 You're doomed. 234 00:16:22,814 --> 00:16:24,334 Unless I tell Dad. 235 00:16:24,334 --> 00:16:26,534 As I said, you're doomed. 236 00:16:26,534 --> 00:16:28,974 How angry do you think he'll be? 237 00:16:28,974 --> 00:16:32,374 - On a scale of one to mass murder? - There's no choice. 238 00:16:32,374 --> 00:16:35,294 If those journalists report where we are, we're all dead. 239 00:16:35,294 --> 00:16:40,934 Me, Dad, Ingrid and Mum. That doesn't bother me so much anymore. 240 00:16:40,934 --> 00:16:43,534 Anyway, I need to call Dad immediately. 241 00:16:43,534 --> 00:16:47,494 I need to use my training. Leave me alone... Let me get on with it! 242 00:17:00,374 --> 00:17:05,094 - Mum. - Ingrid, darling! I came as soon as I heard. 243 00:17:05,094 --> 00:17:08,174 Really(?) I've been like this for weeks. 244 00:17:08,174 --> 00:17:10,574 I may have stopped off in Paris... 245 00:17:10,574 --> 00:17:13,014 Thanks for your concern. 246 00:17:13,014 --> 00:17:17,414 Anyway, I've been thinking about what we can do now you're Regent. 247 00:17:17,414 --> 00:17:21,174 Patrick and I don't need a sickly invalid weighing us down. 248 00:17:21,174 --> 00:17:26,094 - But I'm your daughter. - I know, but you can't expect special favours. 249 00:17:26,094 --> 00:17:30,774 - We're women. - I had to lie, cheat and thoroughly demean myself 250 00:17:30,774 --> 00:17:35,094 to get the Regency, and I'd expect you to do the same. 251 00:17:36,774 --> 00:17:42,694 "Dear Ryan, by the time you read this, our nightmare will be over." 252 00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:46,214 "I have found a way to wipe out the Dracula clan. 253 00:17:46,214 --> 00:17:48,614 "Ingrid and her family will be dead, 254 00:17:48,614 --> 00:17:51,214 "and the vampire curse on you will be lifted. 255 00:17:51,214 --> 00:17:54,574 "I know you have been suffering during the transformation, 256 00:17:54,574 --> 00:17:58,134 "but soon, that will all be reversed, and you will be human again." 257 00:18:15,734 --> 00:18:18,374 I knew you could do it, Vladdy. 258 00:18:18,374 --> 00:18:21,534 Your message came through clear as a bell. "Come home now, 259 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,574 "Major A blood for tea". 260 00:18:23,574 --> 00:18:26,014 "Major emergency". 261 00:18:26,014 --> 00:18:27,614 Oh, not nearly as good. 262 00:18:27,614 --> 00:18:32,094 - What's the emergency? - Reporters from FANG! Magazine are on their way. 263 00:18:32,094 --> 00:18:36,934 - I need you to get rid of them. - I'll tell them to leave you alone. 264 00:18:36,934 --> 00:18:40,894 The thing is, er, some stuff happened while you were away. 265 00:18:40,894 --> 00:18:44,254 Some of it good, some of it bad. 266 00:18:45,734 --> 00:18:50,254 Actually, most of it bad. Look, long story short, 267 00:18:50,254 --> 00:18:52,374 I kind of made Mum Regent. 268 00:18:52,374 --> 00:18:55,574 HE ROARS 269 00:18:55,574 --> 00:18:59,254 I made Mum Regent because you never listen to me 270 00:18:59,254 --> 00:19:03,254 - and you treat me like a child. - So you gave my powers to that... 271 00:19:03,254 --> 00:19:05,614 fur-loving strumpet?! 272 00:19:05,614 --> 00:19:06,974 I thought she'd respect me. 273 00:19:06,974 --> 00:19:09,374 I've got a plan to fix this, but I do need your help. 274 00:19:09,374 --> 00:19:13,294 - Why should I help you, you little traitor?! - Cos Mum's Regent. 275 00:19:13,294 --> 00:19:16,214 She'll throw you out and you'll be powerless and homeless. 276 00:19:16,214 --> 00:19:17,854 So what's your plan? 277 00:19:17,854 --> 00:19:21,214 Mum's got this crazy idea that you fancy Miss McCauley. 278 00:19:21,214 --> 00:19:22,334 Ludicrous. 279 00:19:22,334 --> 00:19:24,294 I know, right? 280 00:19:24,294 --> 00:19:25,934 But we can use it. 281 00:19:25,934 --> 00:19:28,414 What's your name, hmm? 282 00:19:28,414 --> 00:19:31,094 Where did you come from? 283 00:19:35,414 --> 00:19:39,974 How would you like the opportunity to stab your mother in the back? 284 00:19:39,974 --> 00:19:41,614 Literally? 285 00:19:43,294 --> 00:19:45,014 Regrettably, no. 286 00:19:46,414 --> 00:19:49,414 It's better than nothing, I suppose. 287 00:19:49,414 --> 00:19:53,134 - You're clear on what you're doing? - Of course. - Just remember... 288 00:19:53,134 --> 00:19:55,334 Pretend that I like Miss McCauley. 289 00:19:55,334 --> 00:19:57,814 And do not fall for Mum - again. 290 00:19:57,814 --> 00:19:59,774 What do you take me for? 291 00:19:59,774 --> 00:20:02,134 She's a detestable abomination, 292 00:20:02,134 --> 00:20:05,014 black-hearted and evil through and through. 293 00:20:05,014 --> 00:20:07,614 Like I said, don't fall for her. 294 00:20:13,374 --> 00:20:15,294 Bun-Buns! 295 00:20:15,294 --> 00:20:18,454 WHAT are you doing on my throne? 296 00:20:18,454 --> 00:20:23,694 MY throne. I'm Vlad's Regent now. 297 00:20:23,694 --> 00:20:26,734 - Oh, good. - What?! 298 00:20:26,734 --> 00:20:29,734 Well, being Regent was becoming a bit of a chore. 299 00:20:29,734 --> 00:20:33,414 Now I'll have more time for moonlight walks 300 00:20:33,414 --> 00:20:36,454 with the bewitching Miss McCauley. 301 00:20:36,454 --> 00:20:39,854 I don't know what you see in that stinking breather. 302 00:20:39,854 --> 00:20:41,894 Don't you insult her! 303 00:20:43,214 --> 00:20:45,734 She's more of a woman than you'll ever be. 304 00:20:57,694 --> 00:21:00,054 More than this? 305 00:21:06,494 --> 00:21:08,574 I'm sorry, Magda. 306 00:21:10,534 --> 00:21:11,934 I've moved on. 307 00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,134 CRASH! 308 00:21:16,134 --> 00:21:20,454 Master Vlad? Who do you think is winning? 309 00:21:20,454 --> 00:21:21,934 CLATTERING 310 00:21:21,934 --> 00:21:24,694 That'll be Mum throwing something at Dad. 311 00:21:24,694 --> 00:21:26,094 BANG! 312 00:21:26,094 --> 00:21:28,294 That'll be Dad destroying the furniture. 313 00:21:28,294 --> 00:21:31,094 - SMASH! - That could be either of them. 314 00:21:31,094 --> 00:21:34,334 CLATTERING 315 00:21:34,334 --> 00:21:36,814 - Ooh! - CLATTERING STOPS 316 00:21:36,814 --> 00:21:38,174 It's over. 317 00:21:40,894 --> 00:21:43,054 What are you doing? 318 00:21:43,054 --> 00:21:44,894 Well, how can I resist her? 319 00:21:44,894 --> 00:21:46,654 She's my world. 320 00:21:46,654 --> 00:21:48,414 My death. 321 00:21:48,414 --> 00:21:50,814 My darkness. 322 00:21:50,814 --> 00:21:53,014 SHE LAUGHS 323 00:21:53,014 --> 00:21:54,814 Oooh. 324 00:21:57,734 --> 00:22:00,054 I hope you have a plan B. 325 00:22:04,094 --> 00:22:05,774 I'm busy. 326 00:22:05,774 --> 00:22:08,414 - I need your help. - I'm at a critical point. 327 00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:12,574 I need you to dress up as a woman and pretend to be Mum. 328 00:22:13,894 --> 00:22:15,374 Nothing that can't wait. 329 00:22:24,894 --> 00:22:26,774 This is the place. 330 00:22:26,774 --> 00:22:31,414 We go in, ash the Dracs, then leave. 331 00:22:43,974 --> 00:22:45,654 HE GROWLS 332 00:22:51,774 --> 00:22:52,854 Who are you? 333 00:22:52,854 --> 00:22:55,134 Who are YOU? 334 00:22:55,134 --> 00:22:58,214 You really don't know? 335 00:22:58,214 --> 00:23:00,214 FANG! Magazine. 336 00:23:00,214 --> 00:23:03,374 Ah, I read your article. 337 00:23:05,094 --> 00:23:08,934 This is the lot that called us "shady." 338 00:23:08,934 --> 00:23:10,734 HE GROWLS 339 00:23:10,734 --> 00:23:12,334 FFRRRT! 340 00:23:12,334 --> 00:23:14,534 HE ROARS 341 00:23:16,654 --> 00:23:17,974 Mummy! 342 00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:29,254 Thanks for the cover story, ladies. 343 00:23:29,254 --> 00:23:34,294 Such a shame they won't be around for the scoop of the century - 344 00:23:34,294 --> 00:23:39,774 the total extermination of the Dracula clan. 345 00:23:43,654 --> 00:23:45,814 How do I look? 346 00:23:47,494 --> 00:23:50,414 Like death warmed up. 347 00:23:50,414 --> 00:23:52,974 CLANGING 348 00:23:54,374 --> 00:23:55,654 What was that? 349 00:23:55,654 --> 00:23:58,414 The sound of my heart 350 00:23:58,414 --> 00:24:01,574 beating out the rhythm of my love for you. 351 00:24:01,574 --> 00:24:03,854 You don't have a heartbeat. 352 00:24:03,854 --> 00:24:05,694 That's how much I love you. 353 00:24:10,454 --> 00:24:12,494 SHE GIGGLES 354 00:24:14,094 --> 00:24:16,774 THUDDING 355 00:24:25,414 --> 00:24:27,134 Hello, darlings. 356 00:24:31,534 --> 00:24:33,294 FANG! Magazine. 357 00:24:33,294 --> 00:24:35,894 We're here to interview the Draculas. 358 00:24:35,894 --> 00:24:40,054 - Please, come in. - (No, get rid of them!) 359 00:24:40,054 --> 00:24:42,934 Where is the so-called "Chosen One"? 360 00:24:46,814 --> 00:24:50,414 He's out. But I'm all yours. 361 00:24:50,414 --> 00:24:54,614 All right, darlings, I am ready for my close-up. 362 00:24:54,614 --> 00:24:57,934 I sense a heartbeat. 363 00:24:59,454 --> 00:25:02,014 You're no vampire. 364 00:25:02,014 --> 00:25:04,054 You're not even a woman. 365 00:25:04,054 --> 00:25:06,374 Oooh! 366 00:25:07,974 --> 00:25:11,214 Do you think we're fools, human scum? 367 00:25:11,214 --> 00:25:14,134 - No! - RENFIELD WHIMPERS 368 00:25:15,574 --> 00:25:17,414 It's obviously another hoax. 369 00:25:17,414 --> 00:25:21,334 Waste our time again, breather, 370 00:25:21,334 --> 00:25:25,974 and we'll be flossing you from our fangs for a fortnight. 371 00:25:28,574 --> 00:25:31,334 HE GASPS 372 00:25:32,614 --> 00:25:33,854 Good riddance. 373 00:25:36,854 --> 00:25:40,454 Where are those wretched hacks? 374 00:25:42,574 --> 00:25:44,534 HE HUMS 375 00:25:44,534 --> 00:25:47,054 Was it a success? 376 00:25:47,054 --> 00:25:50,174 Renfield dressed as a woman - never fails. 377 00:25:50,174 --> 00:25:53,534 - The journos have gone. - What do you mean "gone"? 378 00:25:53,534 --> 00:25:57,934 He means you totally fell for my plan. 379 00:25:57,934 --> 00:25:59,894 Your plan, Bun-Buns? 380 00:25:59,894 --> 00:26:05,774 - Don't Bun-Buns me, you nefarious harridan! - Bun-Buns! 381 00:26:05,774 --> 00:26:09,814 Dad was just distracting you while we tricked the journalists. 382 00:26:09,814 --> 00:26:11,934 - It's over. - Over? 383 00:26:11,934 --> 00:26:17,454 It's only just begun. 384 00:26:17,454 --> 00:26:21,014 I'll sell our story to the Vampire Times instead. 385 00:26:21,014 --> 00:26:23,134 Stop right there. 386 00:26:25,854 --> 00:26:30,694 Oh, look at those cheekbones. 387 00:26:30,694 --> 00:26:33,494 You could cut glass with them. RENFIELD: Oh, yeah! 388 00:26:33,494 --> 00:26:35,134 Where did you get THAT? 389 00:26:35,134 --> 00:26:40,014 Wouldn't it be terrible if someone uploaded them onto Bat Bite 390 00:26:40,014 --> 00:26:43,574 - for everyone to see? - Especially Patrick. 391 00:26:43,574 --> 00:26:47,854 - Please, don't show the pictures to Patrick. - I won't. 392 00:26:47,854 --> 00:26:52,694 - As long as you annul the contract and go home. - Never! 393 00:26:52,694 --> 00:26:54,774 Fine, if that's what you want. 394 00:26:58,934 --> 00:27:00,134 50% uploaded... 395 00:27:02,054 --> 00:27:05,014 ..60%... 396 00:27:06,454 --> 00:27:08,014 Wait! 397 00:27:08,014 --> 00:27:09,494 You're a fool. 398 00:27:09,494 --> 00:27:11,334 You could've been famous. 399 00:27:11,334 --> 00:27:13,534 Dead famous. 400 00:27:17,294 --> 00:27:19,214 Goodbye, darling. 401 00:27:21,414 --> 00:27:26,054 Well, I hope you've learned something from this. 402 00:27:26,054 --> 00:27:28,294 Always read the small print. 403 00:27:28,294 --> 00:27:31,014 - And? - That sometimes you're right? 404 00:27:31,014 --> 00:27:32,054 Exactly. 405 00:27:34,254 --> 00:27:37,654 Erin, why have you packed your bags? 406 00:27:37,654 --> 00:27:41,734 Oh, close the blinds, Renfield. It's sunrise. 407 00:27:43,014 --> 00:27:44,774 DOG BARKS 408 00:27:46,494 --> 00:27:50,014 - CHILD'S VOICE: Ow! - Who is that? 409 00:27:51,414 --> 00:27:53,214 Has anyone seen my mum? 410 00:27:57,934 --> 00:28:00,974 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 411 00:28:00,974 --> 00:28:04,014 E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk 412 00:28:04,064 --> 00:28:08,614 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30834

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