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Rule number one of Alchemy - pick good ingredients.
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First, carefully select rats' tails.
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Stop show boating, Renfield!
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Immediately, Master.
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Having prepared your blood mixture, carefully lay out the tails.
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Then gently...
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ease in the power.
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Oh, wow!
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Come here, my little beauties.
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Your turn, Master Vlad.
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No way!
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You know, my boy, when I was your age,
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I grew a whole troupe of three-headed killer monkeys.
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Happy times. Make me proud!
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Look, Sir Manly Van Helsing, 1750-1789.
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Porphyria Van Helsing, 1852-1892.
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Abraham Van Helsing III, 1925 -1965.
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- What have they all got in common?
- They were all fine slayers.
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And all dead before they were 40!
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- You're 40 this year!
- Give it a rest.
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I'm not like those old timers, I'm on the cutting edge.
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See these? Blueprints to the castle
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revealing a secret entrance I bet the Count has no idea about.
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A 3D fly-through on the computer - now that's cutting edge!
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I'M the slayer round here, and I'm going up the castle to prove it.
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- I'm coming too.
- Get on with your homework. Education comes first -
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that's what my dad always taught me.
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You mean Grandad Norris Van Helsing, died aged 39�?!
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I mean look at this! "Heads with necks, heads without necks,
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"lizard entrails!"
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Alchemy's just another excuse to get up to your elbows in blood and guts!
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- Vlad, check this out.
- I hate it when Dad gives me one of those looks.
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"Vladimir, I'm very disappointed in you!" "Bride of Renfield"?!
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Oh, no, not that. ..That!
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"Potion 666. Transforming a Vampire into a Mortal"?!
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- Will it work?
- Only one way to find out!
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Where's the list of ingredients?
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I've found some bees' bums.
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I thought you could start with growing something small.
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- There's some pages missing from this book.
- Ah. That's my dad's book.
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He liked to keep all his secrets up here. He was a great alchemist.
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Rotten dad but a great alchemist.
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- Did he pass his secrets onto you?
- Didn't get a chance.
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He disappeared, like a ghoul in the night. Never to be seen again!
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He can't have just disappeared, we need to find out what happened.
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Ah, Zoltan! What d'you know about Renfield's dad?
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Whatever you've heard it's lies, all lies.
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He sounds nervous. ZOLTAN FARTS
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- He smells it too.
- Is that the time? I think I'll just go and...
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Spill, Zoltan! And I want the truth
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- or I'll let Ingrid put itching powder in your stuffing again.
- You wouldn't!
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Renfield Senior had this habit of skulking outside the castle.
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I hung out with a bad pack of hellhounds in those days.
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Anyway, one moonless night,
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my muchachos and I ambushed someone by the South Tower.
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By the time we realised it was Renfield Senior,
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all that was left of him was what's in my basket.
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Eugh!
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No! That's a little accident I had earlier. The bone!
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- So he took his secret to the grave.
- No longer a problem.
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Oh.
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This is so what I want to do when I leave school. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!
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Don't do this. Renfield Senior was mad, bad and dangerous to know.
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And when he sees me, he's going to want revenge.
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You should get him a card -
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"Sorry I accidentally savaged you to death".
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Shut up! I need to concentrate. This is dark Alchemy.
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We're going to bring back Renfield's dad.
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That's it, ready?
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- We're gonna need a bigger bolt.
- Huh? - Of lightning.
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- We could wait months for a storm!
- Not when your dad's Count Dracula!
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- I just want you to know, this is nothing personal.
- That's my diary!
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- Uh-uh.
- I hate to be the one to show you this, Dad.
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"My old dad's a vampire, he wears a vampire cloak,
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"but no-one's scared of him, they think he's just a joke..." Ingrid!
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- But I didn't write that!
- "..He's getting old and past it,
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"that is very plain to see, his hair is grey, his fangs are false,
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"and his cardigan smells of wee!" I do not wear cardigans!
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- And that's not my handwriting!
- That is no excuse!
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- Everything ready?
- Check. - Good. All we need to do is wait for the big...
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THUNDER CRASHES
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Easy!
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Don't fry him like those rats' tails.
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- It lives!
- And it's naked!
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What have you done?!
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Where am I?
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Do something!
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I'm Vladimir Dracula. I'm your master! Release him.
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- I don't think he heard you.
- Release him!
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Greetings, Master Vladimir.
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Renfield Senior...at your service.
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Am I good, or am I good?
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- So you want to avoid becoming a vampire, Master Vlad?
- Exactly.
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And I need to do it before Dad finds out, so let's make the potion.
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Immediately, young Master.
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Cool!
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Vlad, you rancid little worm! I'm going to kill you! What is that?
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Renfield, where...is my dinner?!
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Have you done something different with your hair?
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No, your Majesticness, it is I, Renfield Senior.
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I was temporarily killed, but now I'm back.
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Thanks to me and my Alchemy skills.
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Excellent! Not quite a troupe of killer monkeys, but not bad.
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I'm sorry dinner's late, Master.
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- Quiet, whelp! I'll get the Master's dinner!
- He's my Master, not yours!
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- You want a bet?
- Nice going(!)
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You really think it's good having two Renfields stinking up the place?
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Enough! Ingrid's right, for once.
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I can't have two of you loathsome creatures infesting my home.
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- One of you will have to go.
- If I might be so bold, your Enormity.
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Let Master Vlad decide. He'll be head of the house one day,
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it'll be good practice for him. I'm sure he'll make the right choice.
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Very well. Vlad?
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Sorry, Renfield.
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I've got nowhere to go.
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- Why have you never liked me, Dad?
- Because you're weak!
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I told you not to let them Draculas walk all over you, but look at you!
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Their boot marks are all over your back!
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- The Count's not really like that, deep down.
- Deep down nothing!
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I let him and his father treat me like dirt because it was always,
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"We'll grant you immortality one day, Renfield."
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But did they? Did they cods! Even after I offered to let them
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- drain your blood on your 18th birthday.
- What?
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Oh. I thought you knew that.
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Well, now it's payback time!
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I'm going to use that little brat Vlad to get my immortality,
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and then I'm going to reduce the House of Dracula to a pile of ashes!
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Have a nice life.
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Easy, Dad.
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- What are you playing at?!
- Sorry.
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I got these off E-Slay - tracking devices with a built-in alarm.
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Jonno, I'm a trained slayer with 25 years behind the stake!
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Stop telling me how to do my job!
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Dad, it's not the '70s!
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How long until the potion's ready?
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I'll work day and night. My only desire is to serve you.
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Vlad! ..Don't you think you're losing the plot a bit?
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You've got Ingrid into trouble, forced Zoltan to hide in the ruins
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- and chucked Renfield out!
- Needs must. - Exactly!
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But you're the only...good one in your family.
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- You can't expect a breather to understand, Master.
- Mind your own!
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Master, this is delicate work and all these interruptions...
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I understand. Catch you later, yeah, Robin?
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Oh, so now you're chucking me out?
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Best it's just the two of us, Master.
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We need to concentrate and we can't have any nasty surprises.
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Noooo!
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How could you give my room to that stinkpot Renfield?!
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- He was sleeping in a ditch.
- Doesn't say much for your Mr Count, does it?
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It's to do with Renfield's father, he sounds...difficult.
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- Where am I supposed to sleep?
- You can always bunk down with us.
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And wake up with your underpants wrapped around my head?!
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- You can share with me.
- I'll kip on the sofa, if it's all the same.
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I'm sure Mr Renfield won't be any trouble. Apart from the...
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smell, we'll hardly know he's here. SOBBING
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Oh, my poor Master!
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Shouldn't you be working on the potion?
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- I have my duties for the Count to perform, young Master.
- ..Er, Dad...
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Renfield Senior's worked really hard today, why don't you let him off?
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And what do you suggest I do if I want another drink, Vlad -
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- fill the glass myself?!
- Work the old maggot to the bone, I say.
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More!
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If I might say, your Gloriousity...
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..in my day,
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girls were seen
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but never, ever heard.
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Ah, those were the days!
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Welcome to the 21st century.
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You pair of old... Mmmmm mm.
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Er, why are her lips stuck together?
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Forgive me, your Magnificence,
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it's a potion I developed for your father,
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- to control the feisty females of his day. I have the antidote...
- Uh-uh!
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Don't you dare! It's no more than she deserves!
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Perhaps you'd like to write a poem about this!
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Well done, Renfield, I must reward you.
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Well, your Illustriousity...
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you and your father did always promise to make me immortal.
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No, no, Renfield.
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The Lord of the Dead can't hand out immortality like boiled sweets!
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I was thinking of an hour off,
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spread over the year of course!
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(Don't say I didn't give you a chance.)
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Mmmm-mmm!
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He's busy. ..Come, Master Vlad.
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Mmmmmm!
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You don't have to make dinner for us, Mr Renfield, really.
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You've been so kind, it's the least I could do!
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- Stay where you are.
- If Mr Renfield is good enough to cook for us,
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the least we can do is eat it.
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- Ugh!
- What is it?
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- Road kill stew.
- Oh.
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- How...continental.
- Something just moved in there.
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According to this, the door should be straight ahead of me.
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Must have gone too far...
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Who's there?
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Jonno?
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Keep it together, Eric.
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Slayers have no fear.
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Hello, Slayer.
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- BEEPING
- Dad!
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- SOBBING
- He's off again. He's driving me mad. Can you two stop dropping crumbs
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all over that sofa? I've got to sleep there tonight.
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Right, that's it! I'm off up the castle to get this mess sorted!
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WHIMPERING
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Hello, doggie!
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- What have you been doing? I thought we were doing the potion?
- Needs must.
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- What does that mean?
- Best you don't know.
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- But I'm your Master!
- If you want the potion this side of Halloween,
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be a good little master and let me get on.
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OK, but don't be long! That's an order!
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What have you done to me, fiend?!
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I nicked a few drops of your blood for a little potion I'm making.
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It's gonna be handy having my own slayer on tap.
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Would you be so kind as to release me?
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Here.
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No, you're not going mad. If you could help me, I'd be very grateful.
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He's going to throw me on the fire.
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- What sort of abomination...?
- There's no need to be personal!
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I haven't said anything about your smelly breath.
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I'll free you on one condition - you lead me to the Count.
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Never! Nothing you can do or say will make me betray my Master.
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- Fine, I'll leave you to the old man, then.
- It's out the door,
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turn right, I'll show you the way.
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Vlad, you're making people's lives miserable!
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- That old man is messing with your head. Get rid of him!
- Needs must.
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You're even starting to sound like him! ..Do you mind? We're talking!
228
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Apologies, Master Vlad, but may I have a quick word in private?
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Why aren't you getting on with the potion?
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I'm short of one ingredient - the blood of an innocent.
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- No! Not Robin, I forbid it.
- It would just be a few drops.
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He hates injections. Let's find someone else.
233
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No time. Just lure him down to the lab and I'll take what I need.
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- He won't feel a thing.
- He's my friend. I can't trick him!
235
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:17,000
What's more important - him or the cure?
236
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:27,080
You're right, he is evil. We need to get rid of him.
237
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:29,880
Let's go down to the lab.
238
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:44,360
"Need to see Renfield now!" What's happened to your voice?
239
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,840
You Draculas and your secrets!
240
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,440
- Come to Daddy!
- Oi! Leave him!
241
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:03,320
Apparently your dad's running riot up at the castle
242
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:07,920
and you're the only one who knows enough about Alchemy to stop him.
243
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:14,360
- And get Ingrid's voice back.
- But I can't. ..I'm too weak!
244
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:20,040
Renfield, you're not weak! It's time for you to stand up to him.
245
00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:25,560
- But there's no point, now that Dad's going to destroy my Master.
- What?
246
00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,520
Ah!
247
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,920
BEEPING
248
00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,360
Dad!
249
00:23:33,360 --> 00:23:35,640
- You're all right!
- I'm fine, son.
250
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,000
Let's get out of here.
251
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,880
Are you mad? We're in the castle!
252
00:23:40,880 --> 00:23:44,360
We can find the Count and finish him off!
253
00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:48,760
The stuffed dog's going to show us the way.
254
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:54,440
He can talk! ..Tell him!
255
00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:00,680
Come on!
256
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:07,000
See that? He winked!
257
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:11,040
Did you get a knock on the head by any chance?
258
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:14,160
- Yes, but...
- Come on, let's get you home.
259
00:24:17,760 --> 00:24:20,080
He did talk to me, son.
260
00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:25,520
Course he did! My old Action Man chats to me all the time.
261
00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:36,480
- How will we get rid of old man Renfield?
- I'll explain in a minute.
262
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:41,920
- Vlad! Stop him! Vlad?!
- Sorry, mate. - Don't "mate" me! What's going on?
263
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:46,960
- We just need a few drops of your blood for the potion.
- That potion!
264
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:52,600
- Why didn't you just ask?
- You would have said no. - So you tricked me?
265
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:56,640
Your best mate?! You're already just like the rest of your family!
266
00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,840
It's just a few drops. Right, Renfield?
267
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:04,600
Actually, no. I need the whole nine pints. Every last drop.
268
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:08,160
- What?! See what you've done!
- I didn't know, honest.
269
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,840
- I demand you let him go!
- Shut up!
270
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:15,000
You really think I've been doing this for YOU?!
271
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:19,800
The days of me taking orders from the Draculas are long gone!
272
00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:25,400
The Count will give me immortality or I will use this potion
273
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:30,040
- to turn him into a pile of dust!
- You'll have to go through me first.
274
00:25:30,040 --> 00:25:32,680
- No problem.
- And me.
275
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,200
- Mmmm mm.
- Oh, look! It's Dumb and Dimmer.
276
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,080
I'm not gonna let you hurt my Master.
277
00:25:39,080 --> 00:25:42,320
You won't stop me! You haven't got the bottle!
278
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:47,920
See?! You're rubbish! Now, clear off, mummy's boy!
279
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,760
You keep Mum out of this! She was twice the man you are.
280
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,160
She was weak! Like you!
281
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:59,560
"You are so dead!"
282
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,880
What's that? What's happening?
283
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:08,840
The antidote to regeneration. Second rule of Alchemy - always be prepared!
284
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:13,680
You're going back to where you came from - a bone in a dog's basket.
285
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:18,400
You had to pick now to stand up to me, didn't you? You snivelling...
286
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,520
But what about the cure?!
287
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,040
Forget I said that.
288
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,240
Sorry I was so...
289
00:26:43,240 --> 00:26:46,680
Cunning, manipulative, downright evil?
290
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:49,520
A real chip off the old block.
291
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,640
You did come through in the end, I guess.
292
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:57,080
Maybe next time you could just grow us some girlfriends?
293
00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:01,240
Nah. I think I'm gonna give Alchemy a miss.
294
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,400
Speaking of which, how's lunch?
295
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:09,800
Even better than before - slightly chewier and a bit more tang.
296
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:12,960
Renfield Senior must've had pizza for dinner.
297
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:20,000
- Master, I'm home!
- Shut up, Renfield!
298
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,240
- Yes, Master.
- How come he's back?
299
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,560
What happened to the other one?
300
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:29,160
He sort of...disappeared.
301
00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:35,840
At least he managed to silence you before he left.
302
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:39,960
Think again, Daddy.
303
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,160
You gave her the antidote?!
304
00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,400
That's right boys, I'm back.
305
00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:50,560
Run!
306
00:27:50,610 --> 00:27:55,160
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