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1
00:00:12,102 --> 00:00:15,004
Where's your ex?
2
00:00:15,072 --> 00:00:16,672
She's been out sick all week.
3
00:00:16,740 --> 00:00:18,841
Oh... oh, I get it.
4
00:00:18,909 --> 00:00:20,409
(Chuckles)
5
00:00:20,477 --> 00:00:22,044
She's all embarrassed
to show her face now
6
00:00:22,112 --> 00:00:24,413
'cause you tapped it
and scrapped it, right?
7
00:00:24,481 --> 00:00:26,148
You down with O.P.P.?
8
00:00:26,216 --> 00:00:27,483
Wilfred:
Sorry, sorry...
9
00:00:27,551 --> 00:00:29,552
Sorry I'm late, everyone.
Sorry.
10
00:00:29,619 --> 00:00:30,953
Jen. Hair looks great today.
11
00:00:31,021 --> 00:00:31,872
Whoa...
12
00:00:32,072 --> 00:00:33,639
Scotty boy!
13
00:00:33,707 --> 00:00:35,007
Did you see the bachelorette
last night?
14
00:00:35,075 --> 00:00:36,008
Brutal.
15
00:00:36,076 --> 00:00:37,076
(Laughing)
16
00:00:37,143 --> 00:00:38,244
Jeremy:
Okay.
17
00:00:38,311 --> 00:00:40,646
Listen up.
18
00:00:40,714 --> 00:00:42,414
This morning, Kanner-McKay
announced the results
19
00:00:42,482 --> 00:00:46,252
of their phase three trials
of their cancer drug...
20
00:00:46,319 --> 00:00:48,420
Ahead of schedule, and, uh...
21
00:00:48,422 --> 00:00:50,889
Well, what can I say?
22
00:00:50,957 --> 00:00:52,157
We lost.
23
00:00:52,225 --> 00:00:53,993
(All sighing)
24
00:00:54,060 --> 00:00:55,194
They beat us.
25
00:00:55,262 --> 00:00:57,796
All of our investors have, uh...
26
00:00:57,864 --> 00:00:59,131
Jumped ship.
27
00:00:59,199 --> 00:01:01,734
What?
Oh, no, no..
28
00:01:01,801 --> 00:01:03,035
(Murmuring) We're screwed.
29
00:01:03,103 --> 00:01:05,704
Me, speaking,
you, quieting down.
30
00:01:05,772 --> 00:01:07,006
Go.
31
00:01:07,073 --> 00:01:09,208
(Slurping)
32
00:01:09,276 --> 00:01:12,811
Ah...
33
00:01:12,879 --> 00:01:14,079
Now, I know that you're all
worried about your jobs.
34
00:01:14,147 --> 00:01:16,048
And I understand that.
35
00:01:16,116 --> 00:01:17,283
But my grandfather
36
00:01:17,350 --> 00:01:20,052
was once trapped
37
00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:21,920
inside a mine
38
00:01:21,988 --> 00:01:23,656
for 15 days.
39
00:01:25,258 --> 00:01:26,925
And everyone around him
40
00:01:26,993 --> 00:01:29,628
had lost hope.
41
00:01:29,696 --> 00:01:30,929
But not my pepaw.
42
00:01:36,034 --> 00:01:38,202
"us.
43
00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:40,872
"Digging out of here.
44
00:01:40,939 --> 00:01:42,440
Go."
45
00:01:43,243 --> 00:01:44,543
And ten years later,
46
00:01:44,611 --> 00:01:46,879
he owned that mine!
47
00:01:46,946 --> 00:01:48,380
(Murmuring)
48
00:01:48,448 --> 00:01:49,915
And my grandfather
49
00:01:49,983 --> 00:01:52,451
never gave up hope,
and neither should you.
50
00:01:52,519 --> 00:01:54,153
You should refuse
51
00:01:54,220 --> 00:01:55,988
to see this situation
as a defeat...
52
00:01:56,055 --> 00:01:58,357
But rather
53
00:01:58,425 --> 00:01:59,858
as an opportunity
54
00:01:59,926 --> 00:02:02,795
to do something even better,
even bigger!
55
00:02:02,862 --> 00:02:05,330
(Excited murmurs)
Because this I know:
56
00:02:05,398 --> 00:02:09,802
You will dig yourselves
out of this mine,
57
00:02:09,869 --> 00:02:12,171
and you will emerge
even stronger,
58
00:02:12,238 --> 00:02:16,608
and you will change the world!
59
00:02:16,676 --> 00:02:18,177
(Cheering)
60
00:02:18,244 --> 00:02:19,711
Baby!
61
00:02:19,779 --> 00:02:22,214
(Whooping)
Now, if you'll excuse me,
62
00:02:22,282 --> 00:02:25,551
I need to call the wife.
63
00:02:25,618 --> 00:02:27,019
(Laughing)
64
00:02:27,086 --> 00:02:28,787
Aw, man!
65
00:02:28,855 --> 00:02:31,156
That was some
inspirational shit!
66
00:02:31,224 --> 00:02:34,092
First I'm like, "I cannot afford
to lose this job right now,"
67
00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,228
but it's just like Jeremy said,
you know? We gotta...
68
00:02:36,296 --> 00:02:38,030
(Gunshot)
69
00:02:38,097 --> 00:02:40,332
(Radio chatter)
70
00:02:41,668 --> 00:02:43,168
Man.
71
00:02:43,236 --> 00:02:44,770
When someone shoots
themselves in the face,
72
00:02:44,838 --> 00:02:48,273
it's just like... Dude.
73
00:02:48,341 --> 00:02:50,042
I don't want to cast
a darker shadow
74
00:02:50,109 --> 00:02:51,844
on an already tragic day,
75
00:02:51,911 --> 00:02:55,314
but I think someone may have
eaten part of Jeremy's brains.
76
00:03:01,988 --> 00:03:05,457
(Water bubbling)
77
00:03:05,525 --> 00:03:07,793
(Ringtone playing)
78
00:03:10,263 --> 00:03:12,531
(Sighs)
79
00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:16,034
Hey, kristen.
80
00:03:16,102 --> 00:03:17,669
Uh, thanks for ignoring
my calls all morning.
81
00:03:17,737 --> 00:03:19,037
Where have you been?
82
00:03:19,105 --> 00:03:21,507
Oh. Right.
Your checkup thing.
83
00:03:21,574 --> 00:03:23,242
That's right, Ryan,
my checkup thing.
84
00:03:23,309 --> 00:03:25,544
For my pregnancy thing, which
you are now 30 minutes late for.
85
00:03:25,612 --> 00:03:27,579
You said you'd be here, Ryan.
People in the waiting room
86
00:03:27,647 --> 00:03:29,715
were looking at me
like I was a slut.
87
00:03:29,782 --> 00:03:32,684
It's just... I'm not in
a good place right now.
88
00:03:32,752 --> 00:03:34,319
Everything went to shit
two weeks ago, and...
89
00:03:34,387 --> 00:03:35,687
That's right, Ryan.
90
00:03:35,755 --> 00:03:37,256
That was two whole weeks.
Move on.
91
00:03:37,323 --> 00:03:39,124
Scott, that is not
my vagina! Look,
92
00:03:39,192 --> 00:03:40,325
I need you to be here for me.
93
00:03:40,393 --> 00:03:41,493
I do not want to be all alone
94
00:03:41,561 --> 00:03:43,262
in that delivery room.
95
00:03:43,329 --> 00:03:44,963
Can't you just...
Ask someone else?
96
00:03:45,031 --> 00:03:46,164
Thanks for nothing, Ryan.
97
00:03:47,567 --> 00:03:49,368
Uh-oh.
98
00:03:49,435 --> 00:03:51,703
Jenna's out of town.
99
00:03:51,771 --> 00:03:54,740
Two single boys with no jobs
and nothing to do, whoo-hoo!
100
00:03:54,807 --> 00:03:57,509
Come on, let's get started.
I don't feel like going out.
101
00:03:57,577 --> 00:04:00,145
But you've been sitting on your
ass doing nothing all week.
102
00:04:00,213 --> 00:04:01,446
So?
103
00:04:01,514 --> 00:04:03,382
My life sucks right now.
104
00:04:03,449 --> 00:04:05,884
Look, I wish I could press
the reset button, but I can't.
105
00:04:05,952 --> 00:04:07,519
I'm just trying
to take care of myself.
106
00:04:07,587 --> 00:04:09,121
Yeah.
107
00:04:09,188 --> 00:04:10,789
And judging by the rigidity
of your load sock,
108
00:04:10,857 --> 00:04:12,624
you've been taking care
of yourself quite a bit.
109
00:04:12,692 --> 00:04:14,593
What do you want?
Look...
110
00:04:14,661 --> 00:04:16,662
You're depressed.
I get it.
111
00:04:16,729 --> 00:04:18,564
You know what I do
when I'm feeling down?
112
00:04:18,631 --> 00:04:21,266
I get outside myself and
do some good in the world.
113
00:04:21,334 --> 00:04:23,669
(Scoffs) Yeah, right. I do.
114
00:04:23,736 --> 00:04:25,938
Remember when I mauled that black
teenager's face the other day?
115
00:04:26,005 --> 00:04:28,173
You think I did that because
he had ice cream on his cheek?
116
00:04:28,241 --> 00:04:29,942
No. I did it because
117
00:04:30,009 --> 00:04:32,077
I hoped it would help him
go on to be the next seal.
118
00:04:32,145 --> 00:04:34,613
Wait, you did what?
It's called service, Ryan.
119
00:04:34,681 --> 00:04:36,348
And you can start by
making me breakfast.
120
00:04:36,416 --> 00:04:38,517
I usually eat at 9:15 sharp,
121
00:04:38,585 --> 00:04:40,786
and it's already
approaching... 9:17!
122
00:04:40,853 --> 00:04:42,321
Come on, I'm kind of
freaking out here.
123
00:04:42,388 --> 00:04:44,656
(Phone chirps)
124
00:04:49,195 --> 00:04:51,330
(Sighs)
125
00:04:51,397 --> 00:04:54,399
This is why we had
to rush over here... her cat?
126
00:04:56,569 --> 00:05:00,138
I appreciate you both
coming on such short notice.
127
00:05:00,206 --> 00:05:02,207
There, there, mum.
128
00:05:02,275 --> 00:05:04,343
Oh, wilfred.
129
00:05:06,779 --> 00:05:09,881
Uh, okay, the thing is...
and it's not a big deal...
130
00:05:09,949 --> 00:05:12,784
it's just, I like
to have my paw on top.
131
00:05:15,388 --> 00:05:17,556
I know how much
mittens meant to you.
132
00:05:17,624 --> 00:05:20,158
She was my best friend.
133
00:05:20,226 --> 00:05:23,295
Okay, uh, maybe you didn't
hear me the first time.
134
00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:25,263
And again, it's not
a big deal, uh, but...
135
00:05:25,331 --> 00:05:27,265
I usually have my paw on top.
136
00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,868
Don't know how I can be
any more clear about that.
137
00:05:29,936 --> 00:05:31,637
(Sobs quietly)
138
00:05:31,704 --> 00:05:34,072
As you can see,
I'm kind of a mess right now.
139
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:36,108
Look, I...
140
00:05:36,175 --> 00:05:39,544
Be cool, wilfred.
She's grieving.
141
00:05:39,612 --> 00:05:41,613
Sorry for your loss.
142
00:05:41,681 --> 00:05:44,416
Thank you, sweetheart.
143
00:05:44,484 --> 00:05:46,284
You are just glowing
144
00:05:46,352 --> 00:05:48,553
with the spirit of motherhood.
145
00:05:48,621 --> 00:05:50,422
Thanks.
146
00:05:50,490 --> 00:05:52,991
So is the baby a mulatto?
147
00:05:53,059 --> 00:05:55,293
What? No, mom.
148
00:05:55,361 --> 00:05:58,430
So you're no longer
exclusively into black love?
149
00:05:58,498 --> 00:06:00,565
Is that what
you're trying to tell me?
150
00:06:00,633 --> 00:06:02,000
You know what?
151
00:06:02,068 --> 00:06:03,902
Uh, kristen could
really use some help
152
00:06:03,970 --> 00:06:06,104
preparing for the baby.
Ryan.
153
00:06:06,172 --> 00:06:08,907
Ryan: I mean, that's what I
do when I'm feeling down.
154
00:06:08,975 --> 00:06:11,543
I get outside myself and
do some good in the world.
155
00:06:11,611 --> 00:06:13,779
Hey, you stole my line.
156
00:06:13,846 --> 00:06:16,448
You know what I say to people
when they steal my lines?
157
00:06:16,516 --> 00:06:18,250
I say, "hey, hey, hey",
158
00:06:18,317 --> 00:06:20,585
it's fat Albert."
159
00:06:22,488 --> 00:06:24,489
Kristen,
160
00:06:24,557 --> 00:06:28,026
I-I would love to help you
with your baby.
161
00:06:29,462 --> 00:06:31,363
I delivered mitten's kittens.
162
00:06:31,431 --> 00:06:33,298
Most of them lived.
163
00:06:33,366 --> 00:06:36,468
It would be so wonderful
to be there for you.
164
00:06:36,536 --> 00:06:39,271
Um, well...
165
00:06:39,338 --> 00:06:42,007
I could use all the help
I can get.
166
00:06:46,479 --> 00:06:47,612
Watch the baby.
167
00:06:50,550 --> 00:06:52,050
It's a terrible idea.
168
00:06:52,118 --> 00:06:54,252
I wouldn't recommend her
leaving the grounds.
169
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,520
In fact, I think
we should discuss
170
00:06:55,588 --> 00:06:57,522
a more managed care situation.
171
00:06:57,590 --> 00:06:59,124
But I thought she
was getting better.
172
00:06:59,192 --> 00:07:01,226
Well, some people take
a turn for the worse,
173
00:07:01,294 --> 00:07:03,028
especially after losing
someone close to them.
174
00:07:03,096 --> 00:07:04,763
Even if it was a cat.
175
00:07:04,831 --> 00:07:07,466
Mom's gonna be crushed.
176
00:07:07,533 --> 00:07:10,302
Look, she's been
very resistant to this idea.
177
00:07:10,369 --> 00:07:12,337
It would really help
ease the transition
178
00:07:12,405 --> 00:07:14,272
if one of you
could convince her
179
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:16,374
that this is
in her best interest.
180
00:07:19,679 --> 00:07:21,546
(Scoffs)
181
00:07:23,449 --> 00:07:25,050
I know this is difficult.
182
00:07:25,118 --> 00:07:27,185
And if you need to talk
to someone,
183
00:07:27,253 --> 00:07:29,321
here's the number
of a good therapist.
184
00:07:29,388 --> 00:07:31,156
He really helped me
through a tough time
185
00:07:31,224 --> 00:07:32,891
after I was...
186
00:07:32,959 --> 00:07:35,026
Raped.
187
00:07:35,094 --> 00:07:36,561
(Laughs)
188
00:07:39,232 --> 00:07:41,099
Hmm.
189
00:07:43,035 --> 00:07:44,936
Shall I show you
our managed care facility?
190
00:07:45,004 --> 00:07:46,705
Wilfred:
Ryan, I know the timing
191
00:07:46,773 --> 00:07:48,206
couldn't possibly be any worse,
192
00:07:48,274 --> 00:07:49,775
but I think someone may have
193
00:07:49,842 --> 00:07:52,444
dug up mittens and eaten
part of the corpse.
194
00:07:52,512 --> 00:07:54,112
(Inhales sharply)
195
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:55,680
Kristen:
Come on, Ryan.
196
00:07:55,748 --> 00:07:56,782
Catherine:
Did Dr. Cahill
197
00:07:56,849 --> 00:07:59,284
talk to you about that...
198
00:07:59,352 --> 00:08:01,553
Managed care thing?
199
00:08:01,621 --> 00:08:03,822
Yeah.
200
00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:06,825
Well, what do you think?
Do you think I'm that crazy?
201
00:08:06,893 --> 00:08:08,860
Of course not.
202
00:08:08,928 --> 00:08:12,430
But he is the doctor, right?
203
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:16,735
Do you remember that?
204
00:08:16,803 --> 00:08:19,237
When I used to help you paint?
205
00:08:19,305 --> 00:08:20,372
Yeah.
206
00:08:20,439 --> 00:08:21,540
(Both laugh)
207
00:08:21,607 --> 00:08:23,408
You were so talented.
208
00:08:23,476 --> 00:08:26,144
You had such a gift
that I gave you.
209
00:08:26,212 --> 00:08:28,780
And now you kids
are all grown up
210
00:08:28,848 --> 00:08:30,682
and you don't need me any more.
211
00:08:30,750 --> 00:08:33,685
Of course, when you did need me,
212
00:08:33,753 --> 00:08:36,521
I really wasn't there.
213
00:08:36,589 --> 00:08:38,957
I will always regret that.
214
00:08:39,025 --> 00:08:40,525
But...
215
00:08:40,593 --> 00:08:42,928
Taking care of mittens,
216
00:08:42,995 --> 00:08:44,963
that...
217
00:08:45,031 --> 00:08:47,966
Made me feel useful.
218
00:08:48,034 --> 00:08:49,734
And now that she's dead...
219
00:08:53,606 --> 00:08:54,973
Sometimes when
220
00:08:55,041 --> 00:08:56,641
your father was
221
00:08:56,709 --> 00:08:58,910
yelling at me about,
222
00:08:58,978 --> 00:09:02,080
I don't know,
spoons or whatever,
223
00:09:02,148 --> 00:09:04,516
I had this fantasy
224
00:09:04,584 --> 00:09:06,751
of just escaping
225
00:09:06,819 --> 00:09:08,653
and running away from it all.
226
00:09:08,721 --> 00:09:11,723
Like, actually running away.
227
00:09:11,791 --> 00:09:13,658
Just doing something for me.
228
00:09:13,726 --> 00:09:16,127
I've had thoughts like that.
229
00:09:16,195 --> 00:09:18,597
Leaving everything behind.
230
00:09:18,664 --> 00:09:20,365
All the pain, the bad memories.
231
00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:21,933
Yeah.
232
00:09:22,001 --> 00:09:23,869
Just hitting the road,
233
00:09:23,936 --> 00:09:26,104
popping in a bitching-ass
mix tape,
234
00:09:26,172 --> 00:09:28,139
and just being...
235
00:09:28,207 --> 00:09:30,041
Free.
Free.
236
00:09:30,109 --> 00:09:31,309
Have you lost
your mind? Mexico?
237
00:09:31,377 --> 00:09:32,677
You know they eat
dogs down there.
238
00:09:32,745 --> 00:09:34,579
They do not.
239
00:09:34,647 --> 00:09:36,748
What, you don't think
Mexico city has a Koreatown?
240
00:09:36,816 --> 00:09:38,950
Get in. I'm a creature
of habit, Ryan.
241
00:09:39,018 --> 00:09:40,986
I eat, sleep, and shit
on a very rigid schedule.
242
00:09:41,053 --> 00:09:43,588
You can't just take me out of my
routine. I'm not, I'm not going.
243
00:09:43,656 --> 00:09:44,656
(Sighs)
244
00:09:44,724 --> 00:09:47,192
Fine. Hasta la vista.
245
00:09:47,260 --> 00:09:48,827
Bullshit.
246
00:09:48,895 --> 00:09:51,229
We both know you're not
just gonna leave me here.
247
00:09:51,297 --> 00:09:54,232
All talk, just as I suspected.
248
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:55,867
Now here's what's gonna happen.
249
00:09:55,935 --> 00:09:58,203
We're gonna ditch mom,
pick up some primo,
250
00:09:58,271 --> 00:09:59,638
head back to your place...
251
00:10:01,274 --> 00:10:03,541
Goddamn you, Ryan.
Shotgun.
252
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:13,444
Catherine:
Whoo!
253
00:10:13,512 --> 00:10:15,546
We're free!
254
00:10:15,614 --> 00:10:18,383
Celebrate through
dance with me, Ryan.
255
00:10:18,450 --> 00:10:19,717
Wilfred:
This is torture.
256
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:21,052
Long car rides
are animal cruelty.
257
00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,754
(Laughs) (Laughs)
258
00:10:22,821 --> 00:10:25,023
Don't think I can be distracted
with all this fun wind.
259
00:10:25,090 --> 00:10:28,226
Yeah! Wind!
260
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:31,396
Apparently someone doesn't know
the rules of shotgun.
261
00:10:31,463 --> 00:10:33,965
Do you think wilfred's
safe back there?
262
00:10:34,033 --> 00:10:36,167
Wilfred, sit down. I don't need to sit.
Anyone who knows
263
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,835
anything about dogs knows
that we have perfect balance.
264
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:39,137
In fact,
265
00:10:39,204 --> 00:10:40,738
there is no physical force
that can even...
266
00:10:40,806 --> 00:10:41,539
(Tires squeal) (Grunts)
267
00:10:41,607 --> 00:10:42,774
Ooh, ooh, oh,
268
00:10:42,841 --> 00:10:44,242
there's an organic fruit stand
269
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:45,910
up ahead that's built
on what I believe to be
270
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,079
a vortex energy field.
271
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,281
Do you mind if we stop there?
272
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:53,151
Hey, it's not like we've
got anywhere to be.
273
00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:55,219
Wilfred: Oh, hilarious.
I have my regular
274
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:57,255
sun spot nap at 1:30.
I need to be there
275
00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,723
a few minutes early
for pre-nap stretching
276
00:10:58,791 --> 00:11:01,159
and my yawn-squeaks.
277
00:11:01,226 --> 00:11:02,393
This reminds me
278
00:11:02,461 --> 00:11:04,562
of those road trips
we used to take.
279
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:06,831
Hey, do you remember that time
we drove to lake Tahoe,
280
00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:07,765
and kristen wouldn't speak
281
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:09,801
to me for two days
282
00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:11,569
because I said
she could be president
283
00:11:11,637 --> 00:11:13,004
of the itty bitty
titty committee?
284
00:11:13,072 --> 00:11:14,806
(Both chuckle)
285
00:11:14,873 --> 00:11:17,642
The kids were
so cute back then.
286
00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,277
The kids?
287
00:11:19,345 --> 00:11:21,846
Oh. Uh! Brain toot!
(Blows raspberry)
288
00:11:21,914 --> 00:11:25,383
I meant you and your sister.
(Chuckles)
289
00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,685
Ryan, turn this car around now!
Calm down, wilfred!
290
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:30,221
Don't tell me to calm down!
It's your fault that I'm...
291
00:11:30,289 --> 00:11:31,923
(Tires squeal) Aah!
292
00:11:31,991 --> 00:11:34,892
The energy vortex is
strong here, Ryan.
293
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,061
I have not experienced
294
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:40,064
geomagnetic rejuvenation
like this since...
295
00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:41,399
I don't know when.
296
00:11:41,467 --> 00:11:44,435
Look at my mom.
297
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:46,771
She's never been so happy. You really
think you're helping her, Ryan?
298
00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,574
Shouldn't your wife
be in managed care?
299
00:11:49,641 --> 00:11:51,009
Whoops! Brain toot!
300
00:11:51,076 --> 00:11:52,977
(Blows raspberry)
I meant your mother.
301
00:11:53,045 --> 00:11:55,580
So she misspoke.
It was nothing.
302
00:11:55,647 --> 00:11:59,083
We got to go back, mate.
303
00:11:59,151 --> 00:12:00,451
No.
304
00:12:00,519 --> 00:12:02,120
All right.
305
00:12:02,187 --> 00:12:04,956
But don't pretend
you're doing this for her.
306
00:12:05,024 --> 00:12:06,991
(Ringtone plays)
307
00:12:10,462 --> 00:12:11,729
Hello.
308
00:12:11,797 --> 00:12:13,364
Kristen:
Where the hell have you been?!
309
00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,633
I'm just on a little road trip
with mom.
310
00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:17,268
A little road trip?
311
00:12:17,336 --> 00:12:19,237
You disappeared with our
mentally unstable mother!
312
00:12:19,304 --> 00:12:24,042
She's not mentally unstable.
She's just... eccentric.
313
00:12:24,109 --> 00:12:26,711
Well, imagine how "eccentric"
mom's gonna get
314
00:12:26,779 --> 00:12:28,513
if she doesn't take
her mood stabilizers.
315
00:12:28,580 --> 00:12:30,281
I'll make sure
she takes her meds.
316
00:12:30,349 --> 00:12:31,282
Hang on.
317
00:12:37,222 --> 00:12:39,924
Is that kitty litter?
318
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:42,360
There's still
turds in it! Dibs!
319
00:12:42,428 --> 00:12:44,062
What the hell, dude?
I called dibs.
320
00:12:44,129 --> 00:12:45,663
She-she doesn't have her
medication with her.
321
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:47,932
Of course not!
They dispense them here
322
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,568
because... oh, that's right,
she's mentally unstable.
323
00:12:50,636 --> 00:12:52,737
I'll call you back.
324
00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:55,873
Hey, hey, mind if I drive?
325
00:12:55,941 --> 00:12:57,308
Uh... Come on! Get in the car!
326
00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:59,444
If we make it
to Victorville by sundown,
327
00:12:59,511 --> 00:13:02,146
I know a place
that rents stilts... cheap.
328
00:13:02,214 --> 00:13:03,915
(Plays "shave and a haircut")
329
00:13:03,982 --> 00:13:06,851
(Humming)
330
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:10,354
Uh, listen,
I just talked to kristen,
331
00:13:10,422 --> 00:13:12,423
and she seems pretty worried.
332
00:13:12,491 --> 00:13:14,258
We've had a fun day, right?
333
00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:16,394
Maybe we should just head back.
334
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:18,362
About time!
335
00:13:18,430 --> 00:13:20,665
Very funny, Ryan.
336
00:13:20,732 --> 00:13:25,002
Oh! Oh... you know where
we should stay tonight?
337
00:13:25,070 --> 00:13:27,905
I know the the most charming
little nudist hostel
338
00:13:27,973 --> 00:13:29,674
just outside Rosarito.
339
00:13:29,741 --> 00:13:30,908
That's it!
340
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:31,909
I can't take it any more!
341
00:13:31,977 --> 00:13:32,977
Turn this bloody car around!
342
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:33,978
It's bad enough
343
00:13:34,046 --> 00:13:35,780
mum is losing her mind,
344
00:13:35,848 --> 00:13:37,982
but now little Emily down
the street will go outside
345
00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:40,451
to play at 3:35 and not get
tail-whipped in the face!
346
00:13:40,519 --> 00:13:42,186
Is that what you want,
you sick bastard?!
347
00:13:42,254 --> 00:13:43,321
(Siren wails)
348
00:13:43,388 --> 00:13:44,355
Ah...
Shit.
349
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:46,424
Thank God!
350
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,458
(Sighs)
351
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:48,960
Okay, Ryan, be cool.
352
00:13:49,027 --> 00:13:51,229
Just hide the bag of apples
under the seat.
353
00:13:51,296 --> 00:13:54,499
Why? Wait. Did you steal
this fruit?
354
00:13:54,566 --> 00:13:56,334
No, I did not steal the fruit.
355
00:13:56,401 --> 00:13:57,969
Fruit belongs to the
earth, and therefore,
356
00:13:58,036 --> 00:14:00,271
no human being has a right
to put a price on it.
357
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,641
I did however steal this pen
from the cash register.
358
00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:05,343
Afternoon, officer.
359
00:14:05,410 --> 00:14:06,711
Wilfred:
Oh, thank God you're here.
360
00:14:06,778 --> 00:14:08,179
I'm being held hostage.
361
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:09,480
My name is wilfred
Fazio Mueller,
362
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:10,815
I live at 2200 ingmar drive...
363
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:12,116
Cute dog.
Thank you.
364
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:14,252
License and registration.
365
00:14:14,319 --> 00:14:16,687
Oh, gee, officer,
366
00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:18,789
I left my license at home...
367
00:14:18,857 --> 00:14:21,425
When I left there 20 years ago.
368
00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:23,294
Would you step out of the car,
ma'am?
369
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,529
Ooh...
370
00:14:24,596 --> 00:14:27,598
Of course, officer.
No problem.
371
00:14:27,666 --> 00:14:29,433
Mom, what are you doing?!
372
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,836
(Metal crunching)
373
00:14:31,904 --> 00:14:33,237
Mom!
374
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:36,707
Victorville stilt shop or bust!
375
00:14:36,775 --> 00:14:38,109
Jesus, mom! Pull over!
376
00:14:38,177 --> 00:14:39,877
Why? This is exciting!
377
00:14:39,945 --> 00:14:43,781
I haven't been hassled
by the man since 1974.
378
00:14:43,849 --> 00:14:46,150
You just ran over
a cop's motorcycle!
379
00:14:46,218 --> 00:14:48,686
You're carrying around a purse
full of kitty litter!
380
00:14:48,754 --> 00:14:51,088
What, because I want
to keep a little piece
381
00:14:51,156 --> 00:14:53,191
of mittens with me,
that makes me crazy?
382
00:14:53,258 --> 00:14:54,792
What's crazy is
you not sharing.
383
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:57,361
Just stop the car now!
384
00:14:57,429 --> 00:14:59,363
(Brakes squeak, Ryan sighs)
385
00:14:59,431 --> 00:15:01,999
Don't tell me
what to do, Henry.
386
00:15:02,067 --> 00:15:03,634
Henry?
387
00:15:03,702 --> 00:15:06,170
Mom, you know
I'm not dad, right?
388
00:15:10,042 --> 00:15:12,944
Yeah. Yeah, of
course I do.
389
00:15:13,011 --> 00:15:16,080
Mom... you're not well.
390
00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:18,583
Please... let me drive.
391
00:15:18,650 --> 00:15:20,952
Okay.
392
00:15:21,019 --> 00:15:22,453
(Sighs)
393
00:15:26,725 --> 00:15:29,594
You'll never control me, Henry!
Wait.
394
00:15:29,661 --> 00:15:31,395
Buckle up, sneakers! (Engine
revving, tires squealing)
395
00:15:31,463 --> 00:15:33,531
Mom! Wilfred: I'm not
sneakers, you crazy bitch.
396
00:15:33,599 --> 00:15:36,367
Henry, help!
397
00:15:36,435 --> 00:15:38,402
(Tires squealing, Ryan sighs)
398
00:15:42,368 --> 00:15:44,969
Kristen:
I appreciate that, officer.
399
00:15:45,037 --> 00:15:46,871
Like I said,
she's off of her medication.
400
00:15:46,939 --> 00:15:49,407
If you find her first,
will you please let us know?
401
00:15:49,475 --> 00:15:51,309
Thank you so much.
It's a good thing
402
00:15:51,377 --> 00:15:53,211
you're a lawyer,
'cause mom's gonna need one.
403
00:15:53,278 --> 00:15:55,079
I get it. I messed up.
404
00:15:55,147 --> 00:15:57,215
Don't you think
I feel terrible about this?
405
00:15:57,282 --> 00:15:59,117
You should,
because this is a disaster.
406
00:15:59,184 --> 00:16:02,153
Wait. Make a left up here.
407
00:16:02,221 --> 00:16:04,422
(High-pitched mewing
of kittens)
408
00:16:10,529 --> 00:16:12,463
You want to do this?
409
00:16:12,531 --> 00:16:14,432
I... (Scoffs) Wilfred:
You got to help me!
410
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:17,468
My name is wilfred Fazio Mue...
Oh, it's you.
411
00:16:17,536 --> 00:16:19,037
Hey, mom?
412
00:16:19,104 --> 00:16:20,805
Mom, it's kristen.
I'm gonna...
413
00:16:20,873 --> 00:16:23,641
Hi. I'm gonna need you to
take your medication, okay?
414
00:16:23,709 --> 00:16:26,944
Right. I'm sorry,
but you have to.
415
00:16:27,012 --> 00:16:28,946
You're my helper, remember?
416
00:16:29,014 --> 00:16:30,148
I can't help you.
417
00:16:30,215 --> 00:16:31,849
Ah.
I can't even
418
00:16:31,917 --> 00:16:33,518
help myself.
419
00:16:33,585 --> 00:16:36,988
We should just come up with
some wacky way for me to die.
420
00:16:37,056 --> 00:16:38,890
Okay, here you go,
mom. Take this.
421
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:40,825
Jesus, mom!
422
00:16:40,893 --> 00:16:42,894
Look, I can't deal
with this right now!
423
00:16:42,961 --> 00:16:45,096
Shut the damn cat up
and take your medicine.
424
00:16:45,164 --> 00:16:46,831
Ow! Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
425
00:16:46,899 --> 00:16:48,032
Oh, my God!
Are you okay?
426
00:16:48,100 --> 00:16:50,501
Do I look okay, Ryan?
427
00:16:50,569 --> 00:16:52,136
Oh, God, this is not happening!
428
00:16:52,204 --> 00:16:56,140
No, not now! Not in some
stupid hick's gross backyard!
429
00:16:56,208 --> 00:16:58,109
No offense!
430
00:16:58,177 --> 00:16:59,610
A towel or something?
431
00:16:59,678 --> 00:17:00,945
Shit, here comes the miracle!
432
00:17:01,013 --> 00:17:02,814
I'll-I'll
call 911!
433
00:17:02,881 --> 00:17:04,582
We're 50 Miles
from the nearest hospital, Ryan.
434
00:17:04,650 --> 00:17:06,517
You're gonna have
to help me through this, okay?
435
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:08,152
(Sighs) Listen,
436
00:17:08,220 --> 00:17:09,720
I deliver babies for a living.
437
00:17:09,788 --> 00:17:11,789
You can do this,
but I need you to... ow!
438
00:17:11,857 --> 00:17:13,291
Did you not hear
what she said?!
439
00:17:13,358 --> 00:17:14,826
She needs your help, mate!
440
00:17:14,893 --> 00:17:16,394
I... I can't.
(Kristen panting)
441
00:17:16,462 --> 00:17:18,863
Ryan, I know you're depressed,
442
00:17:18,931 --> 00:17:21,799
and you don't want to think of
anyone but yourself right now,
443
00:17:21,867 --> 00:17:23,201
but that tainted whore
needs you.
444
00:17:23,268 --> 00:17:24,702
Ryan, please!
445
00:17:24,770 --> 00:17:26,370
For God's sake, go participate
446
00:17:26,438 --> 00:17:29,373
in the most beautiful experience
life has to offer,
447
00:17:29,441 --> 00:17:30,708
even if it means
looking directly
448
00:17:30,776 --> 00:17:32,276
into your own sister's
slop-hole.
449
00:17:32,344 --> 00:17:34,912
God! Oh!
450
00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:37,181
It's okay, kristen.
451
00:17:37,249 --> 00:17:39,083
(Sighs) I'm here.
452
00:17:39,151 --> 00:17:40,985
Everything's gonna be fine.
453
00:17:41,053 --> 00:17:43,988
Here, squeeze my hand, okay?
(Gasping)
454
00:17:44,056 --> 00:17:47,825
You're doing good, mittens.
455
00:17:47,893 --> 00:17:49,527
(Kitten mewing)
456
00:17:56,168 --> 00:17:57,869
(Baby cooing)
457
00:17:57,936 --> 00:17:59,470
Hi.
458
00:17:59,538 --> 00:18:02,640
I'm Ryan.
459
00:18:02,708 --> 00:18:04,976
I'm your Uncle.
460
00:18:12,084 --> 00:18:14,318
Are you feeling better, mom?
461
00:18:17,723 --> 00:18:19,991
(Baby cooing)
462
00:18:22,261 --> 00:18:25,796
You know, kristen's gonna
really need your help.
463
00:18:25,864 --> 00:18:29,200
And I was thinking
that maybe the best way
464
00:18:29,268 --> 00:18:33,404
to do that is for you to go back
and get the help that you need.
465
00:18:35,474 --> 00:18:37,909
I know.
466
00:18:37,976 --> 00:18:40,411
(Baby cooing)
467
00:18:43,849 --> 00:18:46,184
Careful.
468
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:49,153
(Cooing)
469
00:18:52,491 --> 00:18:54,725
I'm a grandma.
470
00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:56,327
(Laughs)
471
00:18:59,031 --> 00:19:00,932
Listen, I hate
to be a Debbie downer,
472
00:19:00,999 --> 00:19:02,934
especially in the midst
of all this joy,
473
00:19:03,001 --> 00:19:05,937
but I think someone may have
eaten kristen's placenta.
474
00:19:06,004 --> 00:19:08,906
(Sucks in through teeth)
475
00:19:08,974 --> 00:19:10,641
(Cooing)
476
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,368
I won't be too long, I promise.
Take your time.
477
00:19:18,436 --> 00:19:20,670
I was able to get patches
from up the street
478
00:19:20,738 --> 00:19:22,639
to cover Emily's
3:45 face-whipping.
479
00:19:22,707 --> 00:19:25,809
And my 4:30 Jenna
cuddle's been pushed.
480
00:19:25,877 --> 00:19:28,511
But if I'm not back by 6:30 A.M.
to bark at that garbage truck,
481
00:19:28,579 --> 00:19:31,381
I don't even want
to think about it.
482
00:19:31,449 --> 00:19:34,751
Go.
483
00:19:38,155 --> 00:19:39,756
Hey, mom.
484
00:19:39,824 --> 00:19:41,524
Ryan? Hey!
Hey.
485
00:19:41,592 --> 00:19:43,927
Oh, I-I... I don't want
to get paint on you.
486
00:19:43,995 --> 00:19:45,662
Oh, it's okay.
487
00:19:45,730 --> 00:19:48,899
So, how's your new, uh...
488
00:19:48,966 --> 00:19:51,968
Your new situation?
489
00:19:52,036 --> 00:19:54,237
Things are good.
490
00:19:54,305 --> 00:19:57,874
I've got a lot of mileage
out of the cop story.
491
00:19:57,942 --> 00:20:00,977
Um, I made a few
new friends, and
492
00:20:01,045 --> 00:20:02,279
they do everything for me here.
493
00:20:02,346 --> 00:20:04,347
I don't have to lift a finger.
494
00:20:04,415 --> 00:20:08,285
You know, I... I haven't
painted since I was a kid.
495
00:20:10,187 --> 00:20:12,355
You had a great eye.
496
00:20:12,423 --> 00:20:14,524
I had a great teacher.
497
00:20:30,641 --> 00:20:33,376
Sync and correction by Tony for
www.Addic7ed.Com
498
00:20:38,582 --> 00:20:40,784
(soft whimper)
499
00:20:43,421 --> 00:20:45,655
(Whimpering)
500
00:20:50,828 --> 00:20:52,529
(Grunts)
501
00:20:52,596 --> 00:20:54,230
(Panting)
502
00:20:54,298 --> 00:20:56,766
Another hilary swank dream?
503
00:20:56,834 --> 00:20:59,569
She was wearing a g-string
in this one.
504
00:20:59,637 --> 00:21:02,038
(Panting)
505
00:21:02,106 --> 00:21:04,407
(Voice breaking):
Ryan, it was so real.
506
00:21:04,457 --> 00:21:09,007
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