Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,608 --> 00:00:04,363
Sync & corrections by Elderfel
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:27,913 --> 00:00:29,512
Amanda: So, you know how
girls aren't supposed
3
00:00:29,513 --> 00:00:31,611
to eat on the first date?
Well, just a heads-up...
4
00:00:31,612 --> 00:00:33,792
I'm starving,
and I'm not going to hold back.
5
00:00:33,793 --> 00:00:36,240
Well, I don't mind breaking a
rule or two, like how the guy's
6
00:00:36,241 --> 00:00:38,421
supposed to pick up the check
on a first date.
7
00:00:38,422 --> 00:00:40,878
Ryan, can we dialogue?
I talk, you listen. Go.
8
00:00:40,879 --> 00:00:42,233
I need you to...
9
00:00:42,234 --> 00:00:44,327
Am I interrupting
something here?
10
00:00:44,328 --> 00:00:46,481
We were just on our way out.
Well, it'll just take a second.
11
00:00:46,482 --> 00:00:49,246
The CNVN311 patent.
12
00:00:49,247 --> 00:00:52,514
I need you to review and
summarize by Friday. Possible?
13
00:00:52,515 --> 00:00:54,881
This Friday? Sure.
14
00:00:54,882 --> 00:00:57,283
Ooh, you sound confident.
(Cell phone buzzes)
15
00:00:57,284 --> 00:00:58,545
Thursday.
16
00:00:58,546 --> 00:01:01,070
Possible?
17
00:01:01,071 --> 00:01:03,164
Sure. Thursday.
Whatever you need.
18
00:01:03,165 --> 00:01:04,863
I like your attitude.
19
00:01:04,864 --> 00:01:06,431
Let's make it Wednesday.
20
00:01:06,432 --> 00:01:07,798
(Clicks tongue)
21
00:01:07,799 --> 00:01:09,899
Wow.
22
00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:13,166
We have eyeless test bunnies
in the lab
23
00:01:13,167 --> 00:01:14,370
who have it easier than you.
24
00:01:14,371 --> 00:01:17,172
I'm gonna have to start this
tonight. Rain check?
25
00:01:17,173 --> 00:01:20,241
Sure.
26
00:01:20,242 --> 00:01:22,042
I'll just pretend all this
waiting and rescheduling
27
00:01:22,043 --> 00:01:23,810
is some sort of
elaborate foreplay.
28
00:01:23,811 --> 00:01:27,145
(Phone rings)
29
00:01:27,146 --> 00:01:28,479
What do you want?
30
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,081
I just want to talk.
31
00:01:31,082 --> 00:01:34,046
Staying home alone is boring.
32
00:01:34,047 --> 00:01:36,045
I'm sorry, but I'm working.
Jenna and Drew will be back
33
00:01:36,046 --> 00:01:37,479
in a couple of weeks.
I'm hanging up now.
34
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:39,081
Wait, wait, real quick.
35
00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:41,449
Did you have anything
interesting for lunch?
36
00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:44,651
Any spicy sausage?
37
00:01:44,652 --> 00:01:48,214
Did you fart?
What did it smell like?
38
00:01:48,215 --> 00:01:50,713
My boss just threw another
huge assignment in my lap.
39
00:01:50,714 --> 00:01:53,061
I don't have time for this.
I even had to cancel a date.
40
00:01:53,062 --> 00:01:55,464
Well, that's 'cause you let
your boss walk all over you.
41
00:01:55,465 --> 00:01:57,332
You can't let him keep chipping
away (hammering over phone)
42
00:02:02,338 --> 00:02:04,406
What choice do I have?
43
00:02:04,407 --> 00:02:06,341
I'm lucky to even have this job.
44
00:02:06,342 --> 00:02:08,477
You keep thinking like that,
45
00:02:08,478 --> 00:02:10,112
you'll be cleaning up
other people's shit
46
00:02:10,113 --> 00:02:11,646
for the rest of your life.
47
00:02:11,647 --> 00:02:12,814
You need to stand up
for yourself, mate.
48
00:02:12,815 --> 00:02:14,483
What I need is for my boss
49
00:02:14,484 --> 00:02:16,818
to ease up and you to let me
get some work done.
50
00:02:16,819 --> 00:02:18,386
Don't wait up.
51
00:02:20,722 --> 00:02:22,756
- Oh, this is bullshit!
- In.
52
00:02:22,757 --> 00:02:25,292
- But I'm innocent.
- So you didn't trash my living room?
53
00:02:25,293 --> 00:02:27,060
One man's trash is
another man's feng shui.
54
00:02:27,061 --> 00:02:28,828
That's why I left that
pool of yellow water
55
00:02:28,829 --> 00:02:30,330
by the southeast door.
56
00:02:30,331 --> 00:02:32,632
I'm going to be late. Get in.
57
00:02:32,633 --> 00:02:35,201
Why can't I go with you?
I can't take a dog to the office.
58
00:02:35,202 --> 00:02:37,337
So you're just going to
leave me in that thing,
59
00:02:37,338 --> 00:02:39,439
like some guy caged up
like some animal?
60
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,442
(Whining): Ryan, I'm
a social butterfly.
61
00:02:42,443 --> 00:02:45,679
I need to be where the
people dance. Please?
62
00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:48,349
All right, but this
is a one time thing.
63
00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:51,385
- Understand?
- Yeah!
64
00:02:54,022 --> 00:02:57,057
Wait till I distract Stacey,
go straight to my office,
65
00:02:57,058 --> 00:02:59,192
third door on the right,
and stay there.
66
00:03:00,661 --> 00:03:02,929
(Panting)
67
00:03:07,235 --> 00:03:09,336
Hey, Stacey.
Hey, Ryan.
68
00:03:09,337 --> 00:03:11,738
How's the, uh, coffee?
69
00:03:11,739 --> 00:03:14,474
Oh, um, actually,
it's not that great.
70
00:03:14,475 --> 00:03:16,209
- Oh.
- Yeah.
71
00:03:16,210 --> 00:03:18,178
Ah, shit!
72
00:03:18,179 --> 00:03:20,179
There's a guy over there!
There's a guy over here!
73
00:03:20,180 --> 00:03:21,748
There's a lady here!
74
00:03:21,749 --> 00:03:23,516
Ryan, look, look!
75
00:03:23,517 --> 00:03:25,685
- There's people everywhere!
- Stacey: Oh, my God.
76
00:03:25,686 --> 00:03:27,220
He is so cute.
77
00:03:27,221 --> 00:03:29,589
And you, darling,
are a 9.5 out of 20.
78
00:03:29,590 --> 00:03:31,191
Oh!
(Chuckling)
79
00:03:31,192 --> 00:03:33,359
- Felicia: Oh, come here, buddy.
- All right.
80
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,962
Ooh, he's so soft.
81
00:03:35,963 --> 00:03:38,331
Sounds like somebody
wants to see my balls.
82
00:03:38,332 --> 00:03:40,667
(Workers chuckle)
Aw, he wants a tummy rub.
83
00:03:40,668 --> 00:03:42,368
I'll do it.
84
00:03:42,369 --> 00:03:44,203
Is he with you?
85
00:03:44,204 --> 00:03:45,638
Uh, he's my neighbor's dog.
86
00:03:45,639 --> 00:03:46,939
I'm watching him for the week.
87
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:49,141
- Oh.
- You okay?
88
00:03:49,142 --> 00:03:50,709
Yeah, I just need
a cup of coffee.
89
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:53,012
Traffic is out of control!
90
00:03:53,013 --> 00:03:56,148
Instead of a high-occupancy
Lane, okay, they should have
91
00:03:56,149 --> 00:03:57,816
a high-productivity Lane,
and that way, the people
92
00:03:57,817 --> 00:03:59,251
who contribute the
most to society
93
00:03:59,252 --> 00:04:02,121
can get to where they
need to go faster!
94
00:04:02,122 --> 00:04:04,223
Stacey, get the guy who's in
charge of that on my phone!
95
00:04:04,224 --> 00:04:06,191
Is anyone else concerned
that there's a stale,
96
00:04:06,192 --> 00:04:09,124
half-eaten wheat thin
under this desk?
97
00:04:10,597 --> 00:04:13,065
Is that a dog in my office?
98
00:04:13,066 --> 00:04:14,667
Huh?
99
00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:16,768
Tell me...
100
00:04:16,769 --> 00:04:18,304
That is not
101
00:04:18,305 --> 00:04:21,246
(baby voice)
a doggy in my office!
102
00:04:21,247 --> 00:04:22,752
(Gasps) Whoo!
103
00:04:22,753 --> 00:04:24,189
Hi-ya, doggy!
104
00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:27,661
Hi, doggy! Whoa...
105
00:04:27,662 --> 00:04:29,830
Who's a cuddly puppy? You are?
Yes, you are.
106
00:04:29,831 --> 00:04:32,902
Grinding me, on the floor,
spooning me from behind.
107
00:04:32,903 --> 00:04:35,075
This is happening.
This is actually happening.
108
00:04:35,076 --> 00:04:37,047
Ooh, whose baby are you?
Huh?
109
00:04:37,048 --> 00:04:39,825
He's... my baby, sir.
110
00:04:39,826 --> 00:04:43,534
He is? Is Ryan
your big daddy?
111
00:04:43,535 --> 00:04:46,107
Jeremy, I have the state highway
commissioner on line one.
112
00:04:46,108 --> 00:04:48,378
Well, I've got a
belly rub on line two.
113
00:04:48,379 --> 00:04:50,480
Yes, I do! Yes, I do!
114
00:04:50,481 --> 00:04:54,900
(Sputters) Hey, Ryan.
How's that patent report going?
115
00:04:54,901 --> 00:04:57,003
I may have to work all night,
116
00:04:57,004 --> 00:04:58,872
but I should have it
by the morning.
117
00:04:58,873 --> 00:05:01,177
Eh, or the next day.
That'll be fine.
118
00:05:01,178 --> 00:05:02,800
- Yes, it will. Yes, it will.
- Yeah, that could work.
119
00:05:02,801 --> 00:05:04,969
And I'll have to leave
Wilfred at home.
120
00:05:04,970 --> 00:05:08,240
- He can be kind of distracting.
- You know what, get it to me whenever.
121
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,143
- Who wants a back rub?
- You've had your jollies.
122
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:13,445
Can you give someone else
a turn, eh?
123
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:15,281
(Sputters, laughs)
124
00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:22,302
First day on the job,
and I totally killed it.
125
00:05:22,303 --> 00:05:26,940
Felicia in Accounting, she
puts on this whale sound CD,
126
00:05:26,941 --> 00:05:30,243
and I'm like, "What's that
sound? What's that sound?
127
00:05:30,244 --> 00:05:32,312
What's that sound?"
128
00:05:32,313 --> 00:05:34,748
And, of course, I knew it
was a whale the whole time.
129
00:05:34,749 --> 00:05:36,116
(Chuckles)
130
00:05:36,117 --> 00:05:37,384
Well, you see,
I was pretending.
131
00:05:37,385 --> 00:05:39,152
That's the bit.
132
00:05:39,153 --> 00:05:41,555
Yeah, well, anyway,
it was pretty cute.
133
00:05:44,626 --> 00:05:46,827
To the first happy hour
we've seen in months.
134
00:05:46,828 --> 00:05:48,896
We should probably toast
to Wilfred, right?
135
00:05:48,897 --> 00:05:50,497
I mean, the effect
he had on Jeremy,
136
00:05:50,498 --> 00:05:51,765
it's like magic.
137
00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:54,368
Actually, it's chemistry.
138
00:05:54,369 --> 00:05:57,538
Contact with dogs causes the
human brain to release oxytocin,
139
00:05:57,539 --> 00:05:59,406
which is the same hormone
that mothers produce
140
00:05:59,407 --> 00:06:01,108
when they're nursing
their babies.
141
00:06:01,109 --> 00:06:04,978
Is it weird that I'm so
turned on by how smart you are?
142
00:06:04,979 --> 00:06:07,147
Would it turn you on even more
143
00:06:07,148 --> 00:06:08,815
if I answered that
question in Latin?
144
00:06:08,816 --> 00:06:11,184
Es-yay.
(Both chuckle)
145
00:06:11,185 --> 00:06:13,053
What are you doing
this weekend?
146
00:06:13,054 --> 00:06:14,287
Getting older.
147
00:06:14,288 --> 00:06:16,122
Friday's my birthday.
148
00:06:16,123 --> 00:06:18,225
- Do you have any plans?
- I don't know.
149
00:06:18,226 --> 00:06:21,028
I was thinking maybe a
Swanson's chicken potpie
150
00:06:21,029 --> 00:06:23,430
and huff some keyboard cleaner,
see where that takes me.
151
00:06:23,431 --> 00:06:26,433
Or I could take you
out to dinner
152
00:06:26,434 --> 00:06:28,402
and we could huff
keyboard cleaner together.
153
00:06:28,403 --> 00:06:31,672
Okay, but I only huff
the good stuff.
154
00:06:31,673 --> 00:06:33,707
I'm kind of a
keyboard cleaner snob.
155
00:06:33,708 --> 00:06:35,909
Ah.
156
00:06:35,910 --> 00:06:37,811
No, but seriously, that
would be really nice.
157
00:06:40,048 --> 00:06:42,816
Wilfred:
And then Judith in PR,
158
00:06:42,817 --> 00:06:44,952
who apparently
never laughs, says,
159
00:06:44,953 --> 00:06:47,355
"look, he's got scotch tape
on the bottom of his paw."
160
00:06:47,356 --> 00:06:49,123
And you know what?
161
00:06:49,124 --> 00:06:50,992
I did! (Chuckles)
162
00:06:50,993 --> 00:06:53,260
I absolutely did.
163
00:06:53,261 --> 00:06:57,030
Oh, we all had a real good laugh
at that one, let me tell you.
164
00:06:57,031 --> 00:06:59,733
Anyway, guys,
I better get back to my friends.
165
00:06:59,734 --> 00:07:02,502
Uh, it was good
chatting with you.
166
00:07:02,503 --> 00:07:04,304
I'll kill you!
167
00:07:16,784 --> 00:07:19,419
Wilfred:
I brought balls!
168
00:07:19,420 --> 00:07:21,287
Balls!
169
00:07:21,288 --> 00:07:23,423
Balls outside
the conference room!
170
00:07:23,424 --> 00:07:24,847
You like balls?
171
00:07:24,848 --> 00:07:26,359
Yay, Ryan brought his dog in
again today.
172
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,127
Is this going to
be an everyday thing?
173
00:07:28,128 --> 00:07:31,297
Ryan, could you, like, put
your dog in your office?
174
00:07:31,298 --> 00:07:32,731
Yeah, he's cute, but,
you know...
175
00:07:32,732 --> 00:07:33,932
Yeah, okay, okay.
Wilfred: Balls, balls.
176
00:07:33,933 --> 00:07:35,200
- Come on.
- Balls! Balls! Balls!
177
00:07:35,201 --> 00:07:36,501
- Wilfred...
- Balls! Balls! Balls!
178
00:07:36,502 --> 00:07:38,036
Wilfred, in my office now!
179
00:07:40,073 --> 00:07:42,574
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
180
00:07:44,543 --> 00:07:46,211
I'm bombing out there.
181
00:07:46,212 --> 00:07:48,446
Not a single laugh.
182
00:07:48,447 --> 00:07:50,481
Not even an "aw."
It's bullshit!
183
00:07:50,482 --> 00:07:51,850
Ow!
184
00:07:51,851 --> 00:07:53,785
- Aw.
- This is no joke.
185
00:07:53,786 --> 00:07:56,922
I'm an office dog.
186
00:07:56,923 --> 00:07:59,224
It's my duty
to entertain and amuse,
187
00:07:59,225 --> 00:08:01,126
and if I can't do it,
they'll bring in
188
00:08:01,127 --> 00:08:03,195
some foosball table who can!
189
00:08:03,196 --> 00:08:05,731
Yeah, in this economy,
there's plenty
190
00:08:05,732 --> 00:08:07,600
of hungry young tables
that'll work for nothing.
191
00:08:09,202 --> 00:08:11,337
- Suck my dick, Ryan.
- Lighten up.
192
00:08:11,338 --> 00:08:15,174
After two days, the novelty
of an office dog has worn thin.
193
00:08:15,175 --> 00:08:17,209
So what? Jeremy likes you.
194
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:19,345
That guy rubs me the wrong way.
195
00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:21,814
Literally,
like, against the grain.
196
00:08:21,815 --> 00:08:23,950
From tail to head.
(Shudders)
197
00:08:23,951 --> 00:08:26,652
- Who does that?
- He's in a good mood.
198
00:08:26,653 --> 00:08:28,888
That's all that matters.
Well, that's all that matters to you.
199
00:08:28,889 --> 00:08:30,123
(Inhales deeply)
200
00:08:30,124 --> 00:08:32,459
They loved me once.
201
00:08:32,460 --> 00:08:35,428
I don't understand.
202
00:08:35,429 --> 00:08:37,197
Why am I slipping?
203
00:08:40,101 --> 00:08:43,137
Slipping.
204
00:08:43,138 --> 00:08:45,273
That's it.
205
00:08:49,311 --> 00:08:50,645
What are you going to do?
206
00:08:50,646 --> 00:08:52,447
Something big, something epic.
207
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:54,583
Something people
will be talking about
208
00:08:54,584 --> 00:08:56,818
for the rest of their morning.
209
00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:59,120
- Possibly through to lunch.
- Wilfred, please.
210
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:00,955
Hey! Everyone,
211
00:09:00,956 --> 00:09:03,290
look at me.
212
00:09:03,291 --> 00:09:04,758
I'm going to run
213
00:09:04,759 --> 00:09:07,661
and make a sharp turn
into the break room.
214
00:09:07,662 --> 00:09:10,865
I'm sure that my paws will have
no trouble getting traction
215
00:09:10,866 --> 00:09:14,201
on this slippery polished
concrete floor.
216
00:09:14,202 --> 00:09:15,469
Wait. W-Wilfred, don't!
217
00:09:17,773 --> 00:09:19,908
Oh, great.
218
00:09:19,909 --> 00:09:22,109
Jesus, Ryan.
I just had a salty lunch.
219
00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:23,744
Ricky to the rescue!
220
00:09:24,913 --> 00:09:26,180
Are you not entertained?
221
00:09:28,317 --> 00:09:30,585
Are you not entertained?
222
00:09:30,586 --> 00:09:32,853
What is wrong with you people?!
223
00:09:32,854 --> 00:09:35,155
What the hell
is going on out here? Huh?
224
00:09:35,156 --> 00:09:36,457
And why is everybody
just standing around?
225
00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:38,325
Except for you, Ricky.
226
00:09:38,326 --> 00:09:40,160
You're doing
a great job, as always.
227
00:09:40,161 --> 00:09:42,496
Ryan's dog knocked over
the water cooler.
228
00:09:42,497 --> 00:09:44,698
I don't give a shit
about the water cooler.
229
00:09:44,699 --> 00:09:47,101
I just got off the phone
with my source from Kanner/McKay
230
00:09:47,102 --> 00:09:49,370
who told me that they
are developing a compound
231
00:09:49,371 --> 00:09:51,305
that is nearly
identical to ours.
232
00:09:51,306 --> 00:09:53,574
And I swear to God,
if those clowns
233
00:09:53,575 --> 00:09:55,843
come up with a cure
for lung cancer,
234
00:09:55,844 --> 00:09:58,479
it is going to be
a sad, sad day.
235
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:01,415
Everyone, work now!
236
00:10:01,416 --> 00:10:02,917
Ryan!
237
00:10:02,918 --> 00:10:04,752
Where's my CNVN report?
238
00:10:04,753 --> 00:10:06,521
Oh, I thought you said I could
239
00:10:06,522 --> 00:10:08,290
- get that to you whenever.
- Whenever?
240
00:10:08,291 --> 00:10:11,026
Does that sound like the type
of thing a person who puts
241
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:14,596
$50 million of his own
on the line would say?
242
00:10:14,597 --> 00:10:16,398
(Stammering) When am I
going to get it?
243
00:10:16,399 --> 00:10:17,465
Is Monday okay?
244
00:10:17,466 --> 00:10:18,633
Tomorrow.
245
00:10:18,634 --> 00:10:20,135
Possible?
246
00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:21,837
You, not being a dick,
possible?
247
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,305
Tomorrow, Friday?
248
00:10:23,306 --> 00:10:25,875
But that patent is
three inches thick.
249
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:28,343
Three inches?
(Sighs)
250
00:10:28,344 --> 00:10:33,644
Stacey, have we sent Ryan
the CNVN311 addendum yet?
251
00:10:45,756 --> 00:10:48,391
I hereby tender
my resignation as office dog.
252
00:10:48,392 --> 00:10:52,463
Well, it'll be a pretty
big blow to the company.
253
00:10:52,464 --> 00:10:54,765
Don't forget to schedule an exit
interview with the snow globe.
254
00:10:54,766 --> 00:10:57,534
I'm serious, Ryan.
I'm not going back there.
255
00:10:57,535 --> 00:10:59,201
Those idiots
wouldn't know adorable
256
00:10:59,202 --> 00:11:01,367
if it cornered them
in a holding cell
257
00:11:01,368 --> 00:11:03,302
and raped them
with a plunger handle.
258
00:11:03,303 --> 00:11:06,272
That reminds me...
Bear, can you pick up a plunger
259
00:11:06,273 --> 00:11:07,774
- before our next date night?
- Wilfred,
260
00:11:07,775 --> 00:11:09,542
you have to come back
to the office with me.
261
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:11,211
I'm never going to
finish this in time.
262
00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:13,113
You need to put Jeremy
in a good mood
263
00:11:13,114 --> 00:11:14,514
so I can ask for an extension.
264
00:11:14,515 --> 00:11:16,783
If I have to cancel
on Amanda again,
265
00:11:16,784 --> 00:11:19,252
- I'm afraid she'll give up on me.
- You don't need me.
266
00:11:19,253 --> 00:11:21,555
You just need to quit whining
and get some self-respect.
267
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:23,557
I mean, this is your father
all over again.
268
00:11:23,558 --> 00:11:25,726
- What are you talking about?
- You never stood up to him, either.
269
00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,195
So intimidated.
270
00:11:27,196 --> 00:11:28,930
So desperate for approval.
271
00:11:28,931 --> 00:11:32,066
Can't even check "no"
on an RSVP card.
272
00:11:32,067 --> 00:11:33,735
Oh...
273
00:11:33,736 --> 00:11:35,770
(Chuckles)
Don't tell me you want to go
274
00:11:35,771 --> 00:11:37,706
to your father's
black-tie circle jerk.
275
00:11:37,707 --> 00:11:39,307
Stop psychoanalyzing me.
276
00:11:39,308 --> 00:11:40,608
It's two completely
different situations.
277
00:11:40,609 --> 00:11:41,943
Really, Ryan?
278
00:11:41,944 --> 00:11:44,145
Jeremy's nothing
like your father?
279
00:11:44,146 --> 00:11:47,448
So, when that stern
authority figure
280
00:11:47,449 --> 00:11:49,184
makes unreasonable
demands of you,
281
00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:50,685
you don't feel weak
and powerless?
282
00:11:50,686 --> 00:11:53,621
Your palms don't sweat?
283
00:11:53,622 --> 00:11:55,456
And your stomach
doesn't twist into knots?
284
00:11:55,457 --> 00:11:58,092
You don't fool me, Ryan.
285
00:11:58,093 --> 00:12:00,128
You may wear
big-boy pants now,
286
00:12:00,129 --> 00:12:02,096
but underneath it all,
287
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:04,098
you've still got that same
little-boy penis.
288
00:12:04,099 --> 00:12:06,201
You're coming back to the
office with me, and that's it.
289
00:12:06,202 --> 00:12:07,435
No way.
290
00:12:07,436 --> 00:12:09,403
Not unless you help me
291
00:12:09,404 --> 00:12:11,405
come up with some new material.
292
00:12:11,406 --> 00:12:12,873
I have to finish
this by tomorrow.
293
00:12:12,874 --> 00:12:14,475
You think I have time to
teach you a new trick?
294
00:12:14,476 --> 00:12:17,778
No, I need to come up
with a whole new adorable act.
295
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,312
(Sighs)
296
00:12:19,313 --> 00:12:20,948
Better put on a pot of coffee.
297
00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:22,716
This is probably
going to take us all night.
298
00:12:22,717 --> 00:12:24,351
Us?
299
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:26,287
Oh, your ass just got jinxed.
300
00:12:26,288 --> 00:12:28,055
Nice one, Bear! (Chuckles)
301
00:12:28,056 --> 00:12:30,090
You owe him a coke, by the way.
302
00:12:35,908 --> 00:12:38,176
Wilfred (Groans):
Come on.
303
00:12:38,177 --> 00:12:40,077
Adorable, adorable, adorable.
What's adorable?
304
00:12:40,078 --> 00:12:41,879
How about this?
305
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:44,448
I lie down on the floor
and pretend I'm asleep.
306
00:12:44,449 --> 00:12:47,018
Then I start twitching
and making cute little noises,
307
00:12:47,019 --> 00:12:48,853
like I'm dreaming
about chasing a rabbit
308
00:12:48,854 --> 00:12:50,889
through a field of clouds.
Cute shit, right?
309
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:54,058
- Sure, whatever.
- Ah, that's not it!
310
00:12:54,059 --> 00:12:56,394
Better write that down, Bear.
There might be something there.
311
00:12:56,395 --> 00:12:58,563
Wilfred, we've been
at this all night.
312
00:12:58,564 --> 00:12:59,831
Well, maybe we'd
be done if you'd
313
00:12:59,832 --> 00:13:01,633
focus on making me
look adorable
314
00:13:01,634 --> 00:13:03,869
instead of goofing around
with your little legal brief.
315
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:05,537
All right.
316
00:13:05,538 --> 00:13:08,039
What about, I don't know,
sad, droopy dog eyes?
317
00:13:09,508 --> 00:13:11,309
What the...?
Are you kidding me?
318
00:13:11,310 --> 00:13:14,812
Lassie was doing sad,
droopy dog eyes back in 1955.
319
00:13:14,813 --> 00:13:16,180
That shit is hack.
320
00:13:18,049 --> 00:13:19,817
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah,
what about this?
321
00:13:19,818 --> 00:13:21,518
Okay, I'm sitting down
322
00:13:21,519 --> 00:13:24,921
doing nothing,
then, suddenly, I lift my head,
323
00:13:24,922 --> 00:13:27,023
cock my ears
and look really alert...
324
00:13:28,626 --> 00:13:31,528
for absolutely no reason.
325
00:13:31,529 --> 00:13:33,396
That's great.
326
00:13:33,397 --> 00:13:35,498
Honestly, the fact
that you think it's great
327
00:13:35,499 --> 00:13:37,467
makes me think it's not great.
328
00:13:37,468 --> 00:13:38,568
What's that?
329
00:13:40,537 --> 00:13:42,604
Oh, really?
330
00:13:42,605 --> 00:13:44,439
(Chuckles) Okay,
this will be interesting.
331
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,141
Bear's got a pitch.
Okay, let's hear it.
332
00:13:50,546 --> 00:13:54,216
Oh, that sounds
pretty good, huh?
333
00:13:54,217 --> 00:13:56,752
Really?
334
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,520
If it's so good,
why did you interrupt Bear
335
00:13:58,521 --> 00:14:00,056
in the middle of his pitch?
336
00:14:00,057 --> 00:14:01,824
Go on, Bear.
337
00:14:04,028 --> 00:14:05,361
What, what, that's it?
338
00:14:05,362 --> 00:14:07,063
That's the pitch?
339
00:14:09,866 --> 00:14:12,734
For God sakes, Wilfred, just pick
something... anything.
340
00:14:12,735 --> 00:14:16,137
Maybe you're right.
We got to have something here.
341
00:14:16,138 --> 00:14:18,273
Let me just check
through these notes.
342
00:14:19,508 --> 00:14:20,742
What the...?
343
00:14:20,743 --> 00:14:23,511
Are you kidding me?
344
00:14:23,512 --> 00:14:26,448
45 pages of lower-case H's?
345
00:14:26,449 --> 00:14:27,983
What, have you been writing
none of this down?
346
00:14:27,984 --> 00:14:30,352
- Jesus, Bear!
- Wilfred, calm down!
347
00:14:30,353 --> 00:14:32,087
How could I calm down?!
We've got nothing, Ryan!
348
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:35,056
Nothing!
349
00:14:35,057 --> 00:14:36,725
You are a disgrace!
350
00:14:36,726 --> 00:14:38,760
I can't even look
at you right now.
351
00:14:38,761 --> 00:14:40,362
Where's your sex bag?
352
00:14:50,239 --> 00:14:52,474
Wilfred... look.
353
00:14:56,279 --> 00:14:58,514
Of course.
(Chuckles)
354
00:14:58,515 --> 00:15:01,751
Bear, you are a genius.
355
00:15:01,752 --> 00:15:04,020
Bag on my head,
and I can't get it off.
356
00:15:04,021 --> 00:15:06,056
Bag on my head,
and I can't get it off!
357
00:15:06,057 --> 00:15:07,357
Okay, new plan.
358
00:15:07,358 --> 00:15:09,225
Bear, you sit over here.
Ryan, you type.
359
00:15:11,896 --> 00:15:14,364
(Knocks)
Jeremy?
360
00:15:14,365 --> 00:15:16,299
Can I talk to you for a second?
361
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:18,134
You got my report?
362
00:15:18,135 --> 00:15:20,336
Actually, that's what I
wanted to talk to you about.
363
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:23,206
But before we do that, I assume
you want to say good morning
364
00:15:23,207 --> 00:15:24,975
to your favorite...
365
00:15:26,611 --> 00:15:29,046
Wilfred?
366
00:15:29,047 --> 00:15:30,380
Wilfred:
Ladies and gentlemen,
367
00:15:30,381 --> 00:15:32,315
how's everybody
doing this morning?
368
00:15:32,316 --> 00:15:34,017
It's good to be back here
in the office.
369
00:15:34,018 --> 00:15:35,619
Uh, how many people work here?
A show of hands?
370
00:15:37,089 --> 00:15:38,556
Okay, uh, I'll just...
371
00:15:38,557 --> 00:15:39,991
I'll just get
straight into it, then.
372
00:15:39,992 --> 00:15:41,926
Um...
373
00:15:41,927 --> 00:15:45,430
Hey! Where did this
paper bag come from?
374
00:15:45,431 --> 00:15:47,266
Kevin, did you eat
all the jalapenos
375
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:48,834
off my cheddar
jalapeno bagel again?
376
00:15:48,835 --> 00:15:51,269
(Breathy):
No. No. Why?
377
00:15:51,270 --> 00:15:53,004
- Hey.
- Hi.
378
00:15:53,005 --> 00:15:55,007
I'm excited about tonight.
379
00:15:55,008 --> 00:15:56,675
Me, too.
380
00:15:56,676 --> 00:15:58,911
Wilfred: So, it seems
there's this bag...
381
00:15:58,912 --> 00:16:01,446
Athletic injury
in your sleep. (Laughs)
382
00:16:01,447 --> 00:16:04,116
Excuse me, do I come into
your place of business
383
00:16:04,117 --> 00:16:06,051
and interrupt you
when you're working?
384
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:07,419
Wilfred: Anyway,
back to the bag.
385
00:16:07,420 --> 00:16:09,688
I wonder what's inside.
386
00:16:09,689 --> 00:16:11,022
Careful, doggy!
387
00:16:11,023 --> 00:16:13,991
Don't get your head
stuck in a bag.
388
00:16:13,992 --> 00:16:16,160
- What the hell are you doing?!
- Hey, look at me.
389
00:16:16,161 --> 00:16:18,762
I'm a dumb dog.
(Office workers laugh)
390
00:16:18,763 --> 00:16:20,497
Stacey:
Oh, very cute, Ricky.
391
00:16:20,498 --> 00:16:23,301
(All laugh)
392
00:16:23,302 --> 00:16:24,502
You bastard!
393
00:16:24,503 --> 00:16:26,704
Did you see that?!
394
00:16:26,705 --> 00:16:29,807
Slow Piscopo stole my bit
right out from under me!
395
00:16:29,808 --> 00:16:31,675
You know what you need...
a good belly rub.
396
00:16:31,676 --> 00:16:33,644
And I think Jeremy's available.
397
00:16:33,645 --> 00:16:36,047
Hi, guys! Toilet time.
398
00:16:36,048 --> 00:16:37,983
Shouldn't you be out
terrifying white-water rafters
399
00:16:37,984 --> 00:16:40,686
with your banjo music?
400
00:16:40,687 --> 00:16:42,654
Hey, Ricky, could you
give us a minute?
401
00:16:42,655 --> 00:16:44,423
But... but it's toilet time.
402
00:16:45,859 --> 00:16:48,327
(Gasps)
Hi, doggy!
403
00:16:48,328 --> 00:16:49,695
(Growling)
404
00:16:49,696 --> 00:16:51,330
Wilfred! Wilfred!
405
00:16:55,249 --> 00:16:57,717
Again, I am...
I am so, so sorry about this. (Sobbing)
406
00:16:57,718 --> 00:16:59,385
Go get help!
Shh!
407
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:00,920
It's really not that bad.
408
00:17:00,921 --> 00:17:02,922
Wilfred: Let me
out of here, Ryan!
409
00:17:02,923 --> 00:17:05,492
Why did he hurt my face?
410
00:17:05,493 --> 00:17:06,694
I love him.
I know.
411
00:17:06,695 --> 00:17:08,562
(Gasps)
412
00:17:08,563 --> 00:17:10,564
I look terrible!
413
00:17:10,565 --> 00:17:12,232
Wilfred:
Don't worry, pretty boy.
414
00:17:12,233 --> 00:17:14,134
- You still got your quick wit.
- Listen, Ricky,
415
00:17:14,135 --> 00:17:16,570
it's very important that we
don't tell anyone about this.
416
00:17:16,571 --> 00:17:18,906
Okay? I could lose my job.
417
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:22,277
I could forget about it
418
00:17:22,278 --> 00:17:25,146
if you do my job.
419
00:17:27,949 --> 00:17:29,950
Are you blackmailing me?
420
00:17:29,951 --> 00:17:33,454
Maybe I am, maybe I'm not.
421
00:17:33,455 --> 00:17:36,457
I'm not really sure
what blackmailing means.
422
00:17:40,428 --> 00:17:42,629
Do it!
423
00:17:45,133 --> 00:17:48,102
(Gagging) Wilfred: That
dude is such a slowpoke.
424
00:17:48,103 --> 00:17:50,537
I mean, talk about dumb.
425
00:17:50,538 --> 00:17:52,273
The guy redefines...
Ah, shit!
426
00:17:52,274 --> 00:17:54,375
Enough, Wilfred.
I'm not in the mood.
427
00:17:54,376 --> 00:17:56,077
Oh, now you put your foot down.
428
00:17:56,078 --> 00:17:57,912
You could have been off
experimenting
429
00:17:57,913 --> 00:17:59,880
with that scientist chick
right now
430
00:17:59,881 --> 00:18:01,315
if you just stood up
for yourself.
431
00:18:01,316 --> 00:18:03,117
What? This all happened
because of your
432
00:18:03,118 --> 00:18:05,185
- insatiable need for attention.
- No, Ryan.
433
00:18:05,186 --> 00:18:07,188
This happened because
you're a human door mat.
434
00:18:07,189 --> 00:18:10,591
Either help me
or get out of here.
435
00:18:10,592 --> 00:18:12,559
You're doing a shit job
at that shit job.
436
00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,628
Jesus, are you good at anything?
437
00:18:14,629 --> 00:18:16,931
No wonder you're so starved
for your father's approval.
438
00:18:16,932 --> 00:18:18,532
You never did anything
to earn it.
439
00:18:18,533 --> 00:18:21,932
That's not true.
I did everything to earn it.
440
00:18:21,933 --> 00:18:23,208
Well, maybe you didn't
try hard enough.
441
00:18:23,209 --> 00:18:24,457
I couldn't have tried
any harder.
442
00:18:24,458 --> 00:18:25,726
Then maybe you're
not good enough.
443
00:18:25,727 --> 00:18:27,094
Well, then, screw you!
444
00:18:27,095 --> 00:18:29,138
I'm a great lawyer,
and I was a great son.
445
00:18:29,139 --> 00:18:30,044
Look, I did everything right,
446
00:18:30,045 --> 00:18:32,313
and all I got
in return was shit.
447
00:18:32,314 --> 00:18:34,415
Well, I'm done!
448
00:18:34,416 --> 00:18:36,451
Say it again.
449
00:18:40,222 --> 00:18:42,357
I'm done.
450
00:18:43,859 --> 00:18:45,460
Ah, shit!
451
00:18:46,461 --> 00:18:48,361
Ah, Ryan.
452
00:18:48,362 --> 00:18:50,397
Look, Jeremy,
453
00:18:50,398 --> 00:18:52,131
I will not be finishing
that report by tomorrow.
454
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:53,599
I have a date tonight.
455
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:55,468
I'm good at my job,
and I will work
456
00:18:55,469 --> 00:18:58,104
my ass off for you,
but only if we set some limits.
457
00:18:58,105 --> 00:18:59,706
- First...
- You got it.
458
00:18:59,707 --> 00:19:01,307
I do?
459
00:19:01,308 --> 00:19:03,276
Yeah, whatever you want.
460
00:19:03,277 --> 00:19:05,278
- Really?
- Totally.
461
00:19:05,279 --> 00:19:06,379
See you Monday.
462
00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:13,688
I'll be there in 15 minutes.
463
00:19:13,689 --> 00:19:16,157
Order me a keyboard cleaner.
464
00:19:16,158 --> 00:19:17,925
(Chuckles)
That was incredible.
465
00:19:17,926 --> 00:19:19,426
I had no idea it'd be so easy
466
00:19:19,427 --> 00:19:21,294
to get what I wanted
from Jeremy.
467
00:19:21,295 --> 00:19:24,230
Me, neither. I was like 99% sure
you were going to get fired.
468
00:19:36,011 --> 00:19:37,945
You're an inspiration, Ryan.
You hear me?
469
00:19:37,946 --> 00:19:42,817
In fact, I'm going to go give
Jeremy a piece of my mind.
470
00:19:42,818 --> 00:19:46,187
- Tail to head, my ass.
- Wilfred!
471
00:19:46,188 --> 00:19:48,023
Jeremy...
472
00:19:48,024 --> 00:19:49,858
Sorry, Jeremy. I...
473
00:19:55,197 --> 00:19:57,632
You know, I think I'm
going to take next week off.
474
00:19:57,633 --> 00:19:59,534
Possible?
475
00:20:01,036 --> 00:20:03,004
Very, very possible.
476
00:20:03,005 --> 00:20:04,605
(Clicks tongue)
Go.
477
00:20:30,432 --> 00:20:32,800
(Snickers)
Oh, my God.
478
00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:34,869
It's the 21st century.
479
00:20:34,870 --> 00:20:37,139
I can't believe you
still believe that.
480
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:39,977
Let's just assume for a second
that the world really is round,
481
00:20:39,978 --> 00:20:42,279
like you say.
482
00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,049
The good people of America
are right here on top.
483
00:20:45,050 --> 00:20:49,153
And the Chinese folk
are on the bottom.
484
00:20:49,154 --> 00:20:52,291
Why do they not just fall off?
485
00:20:52,292 --> 00:20:53,692
What, you expect me to believe
486
00:20:53,693 --> 00:20:55,127
they have magnets
in their shoes?
487
00:20:55,128 --> 00:20:57,663
It's not magnets.
It's gravity.
488
00:20:57,664 --> 00:21:01,500
- And it's in their shoes?
- Yes.
489
00:21:04,726 --> 00:21:06,788
www.addic7ed.com
490
00:21:06,838 --> 00:21:11,388
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
35595
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof