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1
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Transcript by Addic7ed.com
2
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(door opens, footsteps approach)
3
00:00:12,361 --> 00:00:14,830
Uh! Must be 90 degrees in here!
4
00:00:14,831 --> 00:00:16,365
Turn on your air conditioning.
5
00:00:16,366 --> 00:00:17,466
I wish I could--
it's broken.
6
00:00:17,467 --> 00:00:19,368
(air conditioner hums)
7
00:00:19,369 --> 00:00:21,537
Oh, I guess it's fixed now.
8
00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,006
That's so weird.
9
00:00:23,007 --> 00:00:25,208
Okay. You owe me 60 bucks
10
00:00:25,209 --> 00:00:26,476
for Aunt Cindy's
birthday present.
11
00:00:26,477 --> 00:00:27,678
60 bucks?
12
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:30,281
Are you having money problems?
13
00:00:30,282 --> 00:00:33,118
No, just waiting
for funds to clear.
14
00:00:33,119 --> 00:00:35,521
Ryan, you know that
if you need any help,
15
00:00:35,522 --> 00:00:37,056
all you have to do is ask.
16
00:00:39,126 --> 00:00:40,593
But you do have to ask.
17
00:00:40,594 --> 00:00:43,897
WILFRED: Shut up! Shut up,
shut up, shut up!
18
00:00:43,898 --> 00:00:45,866
Come on. Let's just get
this over with. How much?
19
00:00:45,867 --> 00:00:47,868
I don't need your money.
20
00:00:47,869 --> 00:00:51,806
Okay, just call me when
you get desperate enough.
21
00:00:51,807 --> 00:00:54,042
Assuming your phone
isn't broken.
22
00:00:54,043 --> 00:00:55,643
WILFRED:
Bitch!
23
00:00:57,179 --> 00:00:59,346
(turns off air conditioner)
24
00:00:59,347 --> 00:01:02,749
(slow, rhythmic squeaking)
25
00:01:04,352 --> 00:01:06,053
(clears throat)
26
00:01:06,054 --> 00:01:08,021
Oh, hello, mate.
27
00:01:08,022 --> 00:01:09,456
I'm going to the mall
to get some free AC.
28
00:01:09,457 --> 00:01:10,757
Sounds like a plan.
29
00:01:10,758 --> 00:01:12,559
I'll just finish up here.
30
00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,294
Close your eye, Bear.
31
00:01:17,298 --> 00:01:20,468
Ah! That feels so good.
32
00:01:20,469 --> 00:01:22,803
What do you mean,
"It wasn't real"?
33
00:01:22,804 --> 00:01:25,240
Oh, what, we're having
a little cry now, are we?
34
00:01:25,241 --> 00:01:28,376
Come on, Bear,
don't be like that.
35
00:01:28,377 --> 00:01:31,747
You realize what you're doing
here is ridiculous, right?
36
00:01:31,748 --> 00:01:33,550
Let's just get out of here
37
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:35,585
before the waterworks
start up again.
38
00:01:35,586 --> 00:01:37,687
I don't know, Ryan.
39
00:01:37,688 --> 00:01:40,824
Sometimes I get the feeling
maybe Bear isn't the one.
40
00:01:40,825 --> 00:01:42,826
Maybe you need to
spice things up.
41
00:01:42,827 --> 00:01:45,129
Take Bear to a nice restaurant.
42
00:01:45,130 --> 00:01:47,131
- You think?
- No!
43
00:01:47,132 --> 00:01:48,933
It's a semen-drenched
teddy bear.
44
00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:53,704
I've got bigger things
to worry about.
45
00:01:53,705 --> 00:01:55,773
I pretty much burned
through my savings.
46
00:01:55,774 --> 00:01:57,575
I might have to get a job.
47
00:01:57,576 --> 00:01:58,742
Hey!
48
00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:00,377
Jobs are for immigrants.
49
00:02:00,378 --> 00:02:02,246
Why didn't you tell me
you were short, mate?
50
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,780
What's mine is yours.
51
00:02:03,781 --> 00:02:06,216
Do you forget what
we did last night?
52
00:02:06,217 --> 00:02:08,418
It's Monopoly.
53
00:02:08,419 --> 00:02:10,153
It's not real money.
How many times
54
00:02:10,154 --> 00:02:11,521
do I have to tell you that?
55
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:13,123
One more times.
56
00:02:13,124 --> 00:02:15,191
- It's not real money.
- Shit!
57
00:02:15,192 --> 00:02:17,327
And I was winning
until you punched me,
58
00:02:17,328 --> 00:02:19,429
grabbed the money,
tipped over the table and ran.
59
00:02:19,430 --> 00:02:21,165
I keeps it gangster, Ryan.
60
00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:23,400
You knew that about me
before we set up the board.
61
00:02:23,401 --> 00:02:25,102
If I don't get a job,
62
00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,503
I'm gonna have to ask
Kristen for money.
63
00:02:26,504 --> 00:02:28,038
There's no way in hell
I'm doing that.
64
00:02:28,039 --> 00:02:30,040
That's just stubborn pride.
65
00:02:30,041 --> 00:02:31,541
She's your sister, mate.
66
00:02:31,542 --> 00:02:32,743
She loves you.
67
00:02:32,744 --> 00:02:34,744
Bleed the bitch dry.
68
00:02:34,745 --> 00:02:36,379
I'm not asking for help.
69
00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:37,747
It's too humiliating.
70
00:02:37,748 --> 00:02:41,384
There must be an easier way.
71
00:02:41,385 --> 00:02:43,286
There is.
72
00:02:43,287 --> 00:02:45,187
(tires squeal, bang)
What the hell?!
73
00:02:45,188 --> 00:02:46,622
Now we sue.
74
00:02:47,757 --> 00:02:49,257
I'm so sorry.
75
00:02:49,258 --> 00:02:50,558
My-my dog jumped over my seat...
76
00:02:50,559 --> 00:02:52,227
You are a horrible driver!
77
00:02:52,228 --> 00:02:53,628
Just give me
your insurance card.
78
00:02:53,629 --> 00:02:54,896
Uh...
79
00:02:59,702 --> 00:03:02,037
(blows air, sniffs)
80
00:03:02,038 --> 00:03:03,939
(farts, sniffs)
81
00:03:12,182 --> 00:03:14,250
Well, hello there.
82
00:03:14,251 --> 00:03:16,485
Nice box.
83
00:03:16,486 --> 00:03:18,019
"Between insurance policies"?
84
00:03:18,020 --> 00:03:19,621
What the hell does that mean?
85
00:03:19,622 --> 00:03:21,056
Well, I thought maybe we
could work something out.
86
00:03:21,057 --> 00:03:23,191
Shut up!
Here's what's gonna happen:
87
00:03:23,192 --> 00:03:24,759
my assistant's gonna get
an estimate on this,
88
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,428
and you are gonna show up
at my office today at exactly...
89
00:03:27,429 --> 00:03:29,364
6:15, and you be there
with your checkbook
90
00:03:29,365 --> 00:03:31,332
or I'll call the cops,
drag you into court
91
00:03:31,333 --> 00:03:33,434
and sue your nuts off.
(shutter clicks)
92
00:03:33,435 --> 00:03:36,537
You are lucky
I'm such a nice person.
93
00:03:38,607 --> 00:03:40,074
(engine starts)
94
00:03:40,075 --> 00:03:41,342
Wait, Raffi...
95
00:03:41,343 --> 00:03:43,177
Give us your digits.
96
00:03:43,178 --> 00:03:44,479
Are you on Facebook?
97
00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,314
Are you insane?
98
00:03:46,315 --> 00:03:47,649
Thanks to you, I'm gonna have
99
00:03:47,650 --> 00:03:49,150
to pay that woman
thousands of dollars.
100
00:03:50,519 --> 00:03:53,455
And thanks to you, I'm going
101
00:03:53,456 --> 00:03:56,258
to town on the deepest throat
in the stuffed animal kingdom.
102
00:03:57,761 --> 00:04:00,129
Now that I've met Raffi,
103
00:04:00,130 --> 00:04:01,697
how can I go back to Bear?
104
00:04:01,698 --> 00:04:04,034
I mean, sure, Bear put me
though obedience school,
105
00:04:04,035 --> 00:04:06,002
but does that mean
I have to be unhappy
106
00:04:06,003 --> 00:04:07,704
for the rest of my life?
107
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,973
If you couldn't see the decline
of aluminum futures coming,
108
00:04:09,974 --> 00:04:11,207
you're a goddamn mental midget.
109
00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:12,842
You're done, Michael.
110
00:04:12,843 --> 00:04:14,343
Go upstairs,
clean out your desk
111
00:04:14,344 --> 00:04:16,111
and make it fast.
112
00:04:16,112 --> 00:04:19,014
You, crash boy, inside.
113
00:04:22,551 --> 00:04:24,318
You brought your dog-- classy.
114
00:04:24,319 --> 00:04:27,021
Sorry, I'm watching him
for a friend.
115
00:04:27,022 --> 00:04:29,589
What?
116
00:04:29,590 --> 00:04:32,192
Oh, I have had him all week.
117
00:04:32,193 --> 00:04:34,294
You know, you'd think you'd want
your child for the weekend.
118
00:04:34,295 --> 00:04:36,463
At least your girlfriend
will have someone to watch
119
00:04:36,464 --> 00:04:38,098
Thomas the Tank Engine with.
120
00:04:38,099 --> 00:04:39,567
$4,800?
121
00:04:39,568 --> 00:04:41,368
There's no way
I can afford this.
122
00:04:41,369 --> 00:04:45,105
Single mom, lonely, vulnerable.
(woman conversing)
123
00:04:45,106 --> 00:04:46,306
Perhaps you have something
124
00:04:46,307 --> 00:04:47,875
that's worth more
to her than money.
125
00:04:47,876 --> 00:04:49,376
What are you talking about?
126
00:04:49,377 --> 00:04:50,644
I'm talking about
lovemaking so passionate
127
00:04:50,645 --> 00:04:52,712
she wakes up the next morning
with a limp.
128
00:04:52,713 --> 00:04:54,214
Just keep out of this.
129
00:04:54,215 --> 00:04:55,682
You know what, Graham?
Forget it.
130
00:04:55,683 --> 00:04:57,584
I'll tell him that you're dead.
131
00:04:57,585 --> 00:04:59,519
(sighs) I'm sorry.
132
00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:02,155
It's just been...
it's been one of those weeks.
133
00:05:02,156 --> 00:05:04,124
I've had weeks like that.
134
00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:05,358
Months, actually.
135
00:05:05,359 --> 00:05:07,761
But those things are temporary.
136
00:05:07,762 --> 00:05:10,730
You're an attractive,
successful women.
137
00:05:10,731 --> 00:05:12,666
Oh, just write the check
and get out. (sobs)
138
00:05:12,667 --> 00:05:14,935
Beth--
like every woman--
139
00:05:14,936 --> 00:05:17,571
is a delicate flower.
140
00:05:17,572 --> 00:05:19,706
She may say she wants
your money,
141
00:05:19,707 --> 00:05:23,210
but what she really needs
is nurturing, tenderness
142
00:05:23,211 --> 00:05:25,311
and a nasty sex limp.
143
00:05:29,383 --> 00:05:32,685
Thank you.
144
00:05:32,686 --> 00:05:34,520
Did you really mean
what you said?
145
00:05:34,521 --> 00:05:37,090
You...
146
00:05:37,091 --> 00:05:38,958
you find me attractive?
147
00:05:38,959 --> 00:05:41,293
Well...
148
00:05:41,294 --> 00:05:43,662
yes, of course.
149
00:05:43,663 --> 00:05:45,297
Oh, bullshit.
150
00:05:45,298 --> 00:05:46,698
You probably think
I'm a total bitch.
151
00:05:46,699 --> 00:05:48,833
But believe me,
when I'm not in this office,
152
00:05:48,834 --> 00:05:53,037
or in a car accident,
I'm actually a very nice person.
153
00:05:55,542 --> 00:05:56,976
So are you.
154
00:05:56,977 --> 00:05:58,344
(both chuckle)
155
00:05:58,345 --> 00:06:00,580
- Ask her out to dinner.
- Dinner?
156
00:06:00,581 --> 00:06:02,182
Oh, my God, what a lovely idea.
157
00:06:02,183 --> 00:06:04,952
How about this Saturday night...
158
00:06:07,389 --> 00:06:09,725
...my place.
159
00:06:09,726 --> 00:06:12,327
Um...
160
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:13,996
Mmm...
161
00:06:13,997 --> 00:06:16,632
Oh!
162
00:06:16,633 --> 00:06:18,934
Oh.
163
00:06:26,683 --> 00:06:27,983
(wolf whistles)
164
00:06:27,984 --> 00:06:29,618
Take it easy.
165
00:06:29,619 --> 00:06:31,054
I'm just going
to Beth's for dinner
166
00:06:31,055 --> 00:06:32,989
and to work out
a reasonable payment plan.
167
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:34,723
(refined voice):
Nonsense, my dear boy.
168
00:06:34,724 --> 00:06:36,759
As a nobleman once said,
169
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,561
"You can't have dinner
170
00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:40,764
without 'in her,' as in
171
00:06:40,765 --> 00:06:42,699
'get up in her.'"
172
00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:45,869
What is that? That voice?
What is that?
173
00:06:45,870 --> 00:06:48,605
What voice...
my dear boy?
174
00:06:48,606 --> 00:06:50,674
Cut the crap.
You may have shampooed
175
00:06:50,675 --> 00:06:52,042
and parted your hair
to the side,
176
00:06:52,043 --> 00:06:53,911
but you're still
the same old Wilfred.
177
00:06:53,912 --> 00:06:56,380
All you care about is humping
that little kid's giraffe.
178
00:06:56,381 --> 00:06:57,682
(refined voice):
Why, Ryan,
179
00:06:57,683 --> 00:06:59,650
what a villain you paint me as.
180
00:06:59,651 --> 00:07:01,386
It's elementary.
181
00:07:01,387 --> 00:07:03,888
Beth gets serviced,
the debt gets wiped
182
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:06,658
and the giraffe gets
a proper buggering.
183
00:07:06,659 --> 00:07:08,660
All win.
184
00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:12,297
I'm not gonna put out
just to erase a debt.
185
00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:13,932
(normal voice):
Nicely done, Ryan.
186
00:07:13,933 --> 00:07:16,935
You make the easy way out
sound like a bloody curse.
187
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:18,603
Okay then, we won't go.
188
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:21,439
Just call your sister
and ask for the money.
189
00:07:23,709 --> 00:07:27,579
Look, there's no shame
in admitting you need help.
190
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:30,783
Swallow your pride,
pick up the phone,
191
00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:33,385
and this whole situation
disappears.
192
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:40,325
No, that's not an option.
193
00:07:40,326 --> 00:07:42,027
(refined voice):
Then go to her Ryan.
194
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,897
Go to Beth
as I shall go to Raffi.
195
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,432
Let us walk together
196
00:07:46,433 --> 00:07:48,902
towards our destinies
bravely...
197
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:51,705
sexually.
198
00:07:51,706 --> 00:07:53,774
Fine, I'll go to dinner,
199
00:07:53,775 --> 00:07:55,777
but only if you stop
talking like that.
200
00:07:55,778 --> 00:07:57,412
(normal voice):
Deal...
201
00:08:00,348 --> 00:08:02,283
(refined voice):
...my dear boy.
202
00:08:02,284 --> 00:08:03,751
So you-you really
didn't have
203
00:08:03,752 --> 00:08:04,985
to go to all this trouble.
204
00:08:04,986 --> 00:08:06,720
Oh, well, I usually order in,
205
00:08:06,721 --> 00:08:08,723
but tonight I wanted
to do something special,
206
00:08:08,724 --> 00:08:11,358
so I had my assistant
whip up a home-cooked meal.
207
00:08:11,359 --> 00:08:15,429
It's not often I have such
charming company. (chuckles)
208
00:08:15,430 --> 00:08:19,666
So, hey, listen, about
the money I owe you.
209
00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:20,767
- I was thinking...
- Oh, Ryan,
210
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:22,469
I talk about money all day long.
211
00:08:22,470 --> 00:08:25,272
Please, let's not spoil
a beautiful dinner.
212
00:08:29,778 --> 00:08:31,578
I don't know.
213
00:08:31,579 --> 00:08:33,447
I guess since then,
214
00:08:33,448 --> 00:08:36,016
I've devoted my life
to chasing dreams,
215
00:08:36,017 --> 00:08:38,685
be they in the forms
of cars or other.
216
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:42,656
I think a life lived with
passion is a life well-lived.
217
00:08:42,657 --> 00:08:44,758
But enough about me.
218
00:08:44,759 --> 00:08:46,960
What makes Raffi tick?
219
00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:48,962
Hey, do you mind?!
220
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,364
We're having a
conversation here,
221
00:08:50,365 --> 00:08:51,966
you adorable little
piece of shit.
222
00:08:51,967 --> 00:08:54,035
You know what
I like about you, Ryan?
223
00:08:54,036 --> 00:08:55,904
You're not afraid to go after
what you want.
224
00:08:55,905 --> 00:08:57,605
I like an aggressive man.
225
00:08:59,808 --> 00:09:03,777
It makes me feel so small
and vulnerable...
226
00:09:03,778 --> 00:09:06,346
(girlish voice):
like a wittle bunny.
227
00:09:06,347 --> 00:09:10,751
A bad... wittle bunny.
228
00:09:10,752 --> 00:09:15,421
So, uh, $4,800 divided
by 24 months is...
229
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:16,689
Ryan, Ryan.
Hmm?
230
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:18,458
I told you no more
talk about money.
231
00:09:18,459 --> 00:09:20,659
I'm sure we can work
something out later...
232
00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:22,494
once Tyler goes to sleep.
233
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:24,730
And besides,
234
00:09:24,731 --> 00:09:27,732
(girlish voice): wittle Bethie
bunny just got a Bwazilian.
235
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,700
(silverware clatters)
236
00:09:28,701 --> 00:09:30,434
Mmm...
237
00:09:30,435 --> 00:09:32,503
What are you doing
with this little boy?
238
00:09:32,504 --> 00:09:34,371
What you need is a real man,
239
00:09:34,372 --> 00:09:36,741
a man with hair on his chest...
240
00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:38,510
and his back,
241
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:39,911
and his ass,
242
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,715
and his neck
and his forehead.
243
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:45,918
A man who can afford
the finer things in life.
244
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:50,223
Tyler, sweetie,
245
00:09:50,224 --> 00:09:51,792
ready for bed?
246
00:09:51,793 --> 00:09:54,061
What? No, no.
247
00:09:54,062 --> 00:09:55,696
You're not tired,
are you, buddy?
248
00:09:55,697 --> 00:09:57,431
What do you say we play a game?
249
00:09:57,432 --> 00:09:58,732
Games suck.
250
00:09:58,733 --> 00:10:01,067
Don't be rude.
He's very tired.
251
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,636
He'll be asleep any second.
252
00:10:02,637 --> 00:10:04,103
Uh, wait, wait.
253
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:05,772
Tyler hasn't had
his dessert yet.
254
00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:07,740
He doesn't need any dessert.
Look at his tits.
255
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,641
Ryan, can I talk to
you alone for a minute?
256
00:10:09,642 --> 00:10:11,877
Excuse me just...
257
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,380
(hushed):
What are you doing?!
258
00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:16,915
No one gets laid
while that kid's awake.
259
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,316
Exactly.
260
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:19,618
Be right back.
261
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,519
Finally.
262
00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,455
I thought that precocious little
beaver dam would never break.
263
00:10:23,456 --> 00:10:25,356
I can't do this.
264
00:10:25,357 --> 00:10:27,258
I can't make love to someone
I'm not connected to.
265
00:10:27,259 --> 00:10:28,894
This is so humiliating.
266
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,728
More humiliating than asking
your sister for help?
267
00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:32,697
Dude, dude.
268
00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:34,532
Check out the look
Raffi's giving me.
269
00:10:36,001 --> 00:10:37,835
Girl is a freak.
270
00:10:37,836 --> 00:10:39,436
(gasps)
271
00:10:39,437 --> 00:10:41,472
♪ Tell me what you want
from me ♪
272
00:10:41,473 --> 00:10:43,741
Ah!
273
00:10:43,742 --> 00:10:45,375
♪ I can be your everything ♪
♪ Everything, uh ♪
274
00:10:45,376 --> 00:10:47,010
♪ I just want you close to me ♪
275
00:10:47,011 --> 00:10:49,446
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Baby, you're my VIP ♪
276
00:10:49,447 --> 00:10:52,682
♪ You know you like, uh ♪
♪ You can call me day or night ♪
277
00:10:52,683 --> 00:10:54,717
♪ Want to treat you right ♪
♪ All day, all night ♪
278
00:10:54,718 --> 00:10:56,618
♪ Move your body close to me ♪
279
00:10:56,619 --> 00:10:57,953
♪ I'm gonna treat you
right, girl ♪
280
00:10:57,954 --> 00:11:00,089
♪ Baby, you're my VIP ♪
♪ Take it ♪
281
00:11:09,768 --> 00:11:11,803
♪ Tell me what
you want from me ♪
282
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:13,104
♪ Tell me, tell me
what you need, girl ♪
283
00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:15,574
♪ I can be your everything ♪
284
00:11:15,575 --> 00:11:17,676
♪ I just want you close to me ♪
♪ Close to me ♪
285
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:20,679
♪ Baby, you're my VIP ♪
♪ Lay your body next to me ♪
286
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,549
♪ You can call me day or night ♪
♪ Night and day, day and night ♪
287
00:11:23,550 --> 00:11:25,951
♪ I just want
to treat you right ♪
288
00:11:25,952 --> 00:11:28,087
♪ Move your body close to me ♪
♪ I'm 'a treat you right ♪
289
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,889
♪ I'm 'a treat you right,
yeah, uh ♪
290
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:31,324
♪ Baby, you're my VIP. ♪
291
00:11:33,427 --> 00:11:36,763
(Ryan grunts)
292
00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:39,099
Can... can we slow things down?
293
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:41,635
Wittle bunny wikes it
down there.
294
00:11:41,636 --> 00:11:42,869
I know, but we're moving
a little...
295
00:11:44,739 --> 00:11:46,773
Yeah, maybe I didn't
make myself clear.
296
00:11:46,774 --> 00:11:49,409
Little bunny wants cunnilingus
performed on her
297
00:11:49,410 --> 00:11:50,711
because it's the only way
298
00:11:50,712 --> 00:11:51,912
the little bunny
can achieve orgasm.
299
00:11:51,913 --> 00:11:53,747
(grunts)
300
00:11:53,748 --> 00:11:55,282
I need to pee!
301
00:11:55,283 --> 00:11:56,750
Before we get started!
302
00:11:56,751 --> 00:11:58,385
(groans)
303
00:12:00,021 --> 00:12:02,355
Wash your hands!
304
00:12:02,356 --> 00:12:03,790
(urine splashing)
305
00:12:06,627 --> 00:12:07,960
Ryan.
306
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:08,794
What are you doing?
307
00:12:08,795 --> 00:12:10,696
Same thing you're doing
308
00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,499
except all over
that little brat's Big Wheel.
309
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,534
We have to get out of here.
310
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:17,736
Are you kidding me?
311
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,539
This is the best sex
I've ever had.
312
00:12:19,540 --> 00:12:21,474
For a gal who's never been
out of the box,
313
00:12:21,475 --> 00:12:23,743
Raffi really thinks
outside of the box.
314
00:12:23,744 --> 00:12:25,044
I'm freaking out.
315
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:27,981
Beth wants me to... you know.
316
00:12:27,982 --> 00:12:29,583
Oh, I see.
317
00:12:29,584 --> 00:12:31,652
A little yodeling
in the old canyon, eh?
318
00:12:31,653 --> 00:12:33,521
- I just don't think I can.
- Well, you should have
319
00:12:33,522 --> 00:12:35,823
- thought of that before you crashed
into her car. - Me? It was...
320
00:12:35,824 --> 00:12:37,992
You think Beth's gonna let you off
the hook if you don't get back in there
321
00:12:37,993 --> 00:12:40,461
- and give her what she wants?
- Well, no, but...
322
00:12:42,898 --> 00:12:45,432
(coughs)
323
00:12:45,433 --> 00:12:46,667
That's really strong.
324
00:12:46,668 --> 00:12:48,402
That'll do the trick.
325
00:12:48,403 --> 00:12:49,903
Now pull yourself together.
326
00:12:49,904 --> 00:12:51,438
You're a cornered animal.
327
00:12:51,439 --> 00:12:52,872
You have a choice to make--
328
00:12:52,873 --> 00:12:54,974
it's eat or be eaten.
329
00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:58,010
Find the animal within.
330
00:12:58,011 --> 00:13:00,747
(continues urinating)
331
00:13:00,748 --> 00:13:04,685
Goddamn, this must be
some kind of record.
332
00:13:04,686 --> 00:13:07,121
I'm an idiot
for not timing this.
333
00:13:11,626 --> 00:13:13,261
(softly):
Oh, thank God.
334
00:13:32,549 --> 00:13:33,716
(sighs)
335
00:13:35,352 --> 00:13:37,386
Morning.
336
00:13:37,387 --> 00:13:38,754
Morning, Tyler.
337
00:13:38,755 --> 00:13:40,055
Morning.
338
00:13:40,056 --> 00:13:42,558
- Eggs?
- Actually...
339
00:13:42,559 --> 00:13:44,694
I-I should be going.
340
00:13:44,695 --> 00:13:48,497
Oh, I guess you had enough
to eat last night, hmm?
341
00:13:48,498 --> 00:13:53,134
Did you enjoy your little...
midnight snack?
342
00:13:53,135 --> 00:13:56,871
- I want more cereal.
- Tyler, go to your room.
343
00:13:56,872 --> 00:14:00,843
Uh, what do you mean,
midnight snack?
344
00:14:00,844 --> 00:14:04,080
You know, when you woke me up
with that thing you did.
345
00:14:05,282 --> 00:14:07,017
To my wabbit hole?
346
00:14:07,018 --> 00:14:08,918
That thing I did?
347
00:14:08,919 --> 00:14:10,854
It was like there was
an animal down there.
348
00:14:23,134 --> 00:14:25,868
So we're at the bowling alley
last night, shitfaced,
349
00:14:25,869 --> 00:14:29,337
and one of Ryan's mates puts
a call out for spastic bowling.
350
00:14:29,338 --> 00:14:30,972
So Ryan-- I didn't think
he'd do this--
351
00:14:30,973 --> 00:14:33,308
he starts throwing
the ball overarm,
352
00:14:33,309 --> 00:14:35,377
making palsy faces and shit.
353
00:14:35,378 --> 00:14:37,046
I didn't agree
with that, actually.
354
00:14:37,047 --> 00:14:40,383
I told you, after bowling
we smoked Hong Kong's on the beach
355
00:14:40,384 --> 00:14:42,585
with some homeless pricks.
What's with the third degree?
356
00:14:42,586 --> 00:14:43,853
May I speak with you?
357
00:14:43,854 --> 00:14:45,789
Privately?
358
00:14:45,790 --> 00:14:48,692
Oh, anything you can say to me,
you can say in front of Bear.
359
00:14:48,693 --> 00:14:50,360
Okay. So last night at Beth's...
360
00:14:50,361 --> 00:14:52,596
Whoa! Let's take it upstairs.
361
00:14:53,865 --> 00:14:55,899
Not cool, dude.
362
00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:57,401
You said I could say anything.
363
00:14:57,402 --> 00:14:58,902
I assumed it was
an open relationship.
364
00:14:58,903 --> 00:15:00,804
It is, but Bear
doesn't know that.
365
00:15:00,805 --> 00:15:02,605
Look, this morning
Beth implied that
366
00:15:02,606 --> 00:15:04,975
there may have been a certain
act performed last night,
367
00:15:04,976 --> 00:15:07,477
and I don't remember
participating in that act.
368
00:15:07,478 --> 00:15:09,413
You were stoned
out of your mind, Ryan.
369
00:15:09,414 --> 00:15:11,881
Perhaps you found
the animal within.
370
00:15:11,882 --> 00:15:14,351
Or perhaps you snuck into the
bedroom while we were asleep.
371
00:15:14,352 --> 00:15:16,253
I don't have time to argue
about what did who.
372
00:15:16,254 --> 00:15:17,788
I have to rest up before
373
00:15:17,789 --> 00:15:20,057
tonight's encore
performance with Raffi.
374
00:15:20,058 --> 00:15:21,725
Oh, no, that was
a one night only deal.
375
00:15:21,726 --> 00:15:23,727
Look, I just want to forget
this whole thing ever happened.
376
00:15:23,728 --> 00:15:25,796
- But Raffi and I were gonna...
- No!
377
00:15:25,797 --> 00:15:27,764
As you wish, Ryan.
378
00:15:27,765 --> 00:15:31,636
We'll just stay in and play
Monopoly again... or Battleship.
379
00:15:31,637 --> 00:15:33,805
You cheat at that, too.
380
00:15:33,806 --> 00:15:35,940
Battleships change locations
in the middle of a war, Ryan.
381
00:15:35,941 --> 00:15:38,510
It's what they
were designed to do!
382
00:15:40,379 --> 00:15:42,647
(phone rings)
383
00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:48,587
Hello.
384
00:15:48,588 --> 00:15:50,255
Yes.
385
00:15:50,256 --> 00:15:52,824
Beth?
386
00:15:52,825 --> 00:15:54,793
The answer is yes.
387
00:15:54,794 --> 00:15:56,895
I got the flowers you sent.
388
00:15:56,896 --> 00:15:58,296
I sent you flowers?
389
00:15:58,297 --> 00:15:59,764
And I love the card.
390
00:15:59,765 --> 00:16:03,401
"Beth, you were amazing.
391
00:16:03,402 --> 00:16:05,736
Looking forward to an encore
performance tonight."
392
00:16:05,737 --> 00:16:07,938
(laughs) I didn't realize
393
00:16:07,939 --> 00:16:10,240
this was going to be
an ongoing thing.
394
00:16:10,241 --> 00:16:11,875
It's quite a surprise.
395
00:16:11,876 --> 00:16:13,978
Yes, it is.
396
00:16:13,979 --> 00:16:16,047
Come by the house tonight
after 9:00.
397
00:16:16,048 --> 00:16:17,782
Tyler should be asleep by then,
398
00:16:17,783 --> 00:16:23,322
but, uh, wittle bunny
will be wide awake.
399
00:16:27,562 --> 00:16:29,863
(music playing on video,
running footsteps on stairs)
400
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,464
Dude!
401
00:16:31,465 --> 00:16:33,767
- Ever heard of knocking?
- Flowers?
402
00:16:33,768 --> 00:16:36,636
You sent her flowers?
I was home free!
403
00:16:36,637 --> 00:16:39,105
Okay, I'll admit I betrayed you,
but in my defense,
404
00:16:39,106 --> 00:16:42,408
I really, really want to have
sex with Raffi again.
405
00:16:42,409 --> 00:16:44,777
So it's one of those arguments
406
00:16:44,778 --> 00:16:47,379
when neither of us is right,
neither of us is wrong.
407
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:49,548
We're both kinda swimming
in gray area.
408
00:16:49,549 --> 00:16:51,350
This ends tonight.
It's about time
409
00:16:51,351 --> 00:16:52,885
I take control
of this situation.
410
00:16:52,886 --> 00:16:55,421
(grunts) Beth, please,
411
00:16:55,422 --> 00:16:56,756
there's something
I need to tell you.
412
00:16:56,757 --> 00:16:59,659
(gasps) Look, I think
you're a terrific lady,
413
00:16:59,660 --> 00:17:01,828
but I don't see us
having a future together.
414
00:17:01,829 --> 00:17:05,565
Any sort of future.
415
00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:07,434
I see.
416
00:17:07,435 --> 00:17:09,503
And if that means that I have
417
00:17:09,504 --> 00:17:12,372
to pay for the accident, then...
418
00:17:12,373 --> 00:17:15,675
No, no, it was a, uh,
it was a tacit agreement.
419
00:17:15,676 --> 00:17:18,578
I suppose you have some contract
you'd like me to sign.
420
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,614
(clears throat) Well, uh,
421
00:17:21,615 --> 00:17:23,549
I used to be a lawyer.
422
00:17:23,550 --> 00:17:25,818
(paper rustling)
423
00:17:25,819 --> 00:17:28,053
This, this absolves me
424
00:17:28,054 --> 00:17:30,589
of any cost in relation
to the accident.
425
00:17:30,590 --> 00:17:32,224
Just give me the pen.
426
00:17:35,462 --> 00:17:36,930
Although since this is
427
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,900
now technically
a business transaction,
428
00:17:39,901 --> 00:17:42,069
I would be doing myself
a disservice
429
00:17:42,070 --> 00:17:44,404
if I didn't negotiate a little...
430
00:17:46,575 --> 00:17:47,808
...signing bonus.
431
00:17:47,809 --> 00:17:49,644
Uh...
432
00:17:49,645 --> 00:17:51,312
Ding-ding, round two.
433
00:17:52,648 --> 00:17:54,782
(sighs)
434
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,591
Uh...
435
00:18:03,592 --> 00:18:07,228
that's nice, but that's not
what you did last night.
436
00:18:07,229 --> 00:18:08,796
What do you mean?
437
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,298
Wight bunny, wong hole.
438
00:18:13,035 --> 00:18:15,670
- What, is something wrong?
- Uh...
439
00:18:15,671 --> 00:18:17,773
You know what? Maybe you should
just get your checkbook.
440
00:18:17,774 --> 00:18:21,377
No, no, no!
Uh, you know,
441
00:18:21,378 --> 00:18:24,514
I-I think part of what made
last night so exciting
442
00:18:24,515 --> 00:18:25,849
was that you were asleep.
443
00:18:25,850 --> 00:18:29,853
Maybe I could
wake you up again.
444
00:18:29,854 --> 00:18:32,956
Oh...
445
00:18:32,957 --> 00:18:36,426
Suddenly, I feel vewy sweepy.
446
00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,667
Wash your hands.
447
00:18:47,371 --> 00:18:49,706
(muffled grunting)
448
00:18:51,909 --> 00:18:53,943
(gasping):
Ryan, I'm in over my head.
449
00:18:53,944 --> 00:18:56,245
Turns out Raffi wasn't
fresh out of the box.
450
00:18:56,246 --> 00:18:57,713
She was returned.
451
00:18:57,714 --> 00:19:00,550
Beth wants a repeat
of last night.
452
00:19:00,551 --> 00:19:02,018
I need your help.
453
00:19:03,721 --> 00:19:05,422
All right,
I'll-I'll help you, Ryan.
454
00:19:05,423 --> 00:19:06,690
I'll do anything for ya.
455
00:19:06,691 --> 00:19:09,659
But first you need to help me.
456
00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:11,662
Raffi wants to cuckold me.
457
00:19:11,663 --> 00:19:13,363
What?
458
00:19:13,364 --> 00:19:15,399
It's a form of sexual
degradation whereby
459
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,535
I'm forced to watch as she's
ravaged by someone else;
460
00:19:17,536 --> 00:19:19,871
a lesser, physically
inadequate lover.
461
00:19:19,872 --> 00:19:22,006
She asked for you specifically.
462
00:19:22,007 --> 00:19:24,576
You want me to have sex
with a stuffed giraffe?
463
00:19:24,577 --> 00:19:26,211
"Want" has nothing
to do with it.
464
00:19:26,212 --> 00:19:28,214
Do you need my help or not?
465
00:19:32,353 --> 00:19:34,353
I can't do this.
466
00:19:34,354 --> 00:19:36,056
Please, Ryan, this is hard
enough for me as it is.
467
00:19:36,057 --> 00:19:38,157
- This is insane.
- Just screw the giraffe.
468
00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:41,828
Why am I doing this?
469
00:19:41,829 --> 00:19:44,296
So you don't have to call
your sister and be humiliated.
470
00:19:48,436 --> 00:19:50,504
What are you doing?
471
00:19:50,505 --> 00:19:51,639
Mom!
472
00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,273
I'm gonna ask Kristen for help.
473
00:19:53,274 --> 00:19:55,075
I think so, mate.
474
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:00,748
I'm getting too old for this shit.
475
00:20:00,749 --> 00:20:02,850
I'm thinking it might be time
for me to settle down
476
00:20:02,851 --> 00:20:04,652
and make a commitment.
477
00:20:04,653 --> 00:20:07,722
I'm not young anymore.
I'm seven...
478
00:20:07,723 --> 00:20:09,223
and a half.
479
00:20:09,224 --> 00:20:12,726
Beside, I need more of a
spiritual connection these days.
480
00:20:12,727 --> 00:20:15,929
Something like what I've got
with Bear.
481
00:20:15,930 --> 00:20:18,432
Ah! Bloody hell!
482
00:20:18,433 --> 00:20:20,667
Teeth, Bear, teeth!
483
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,173
Mmm.
484
00:20:27,174 --> 00:20:29,209
Think I got you here.
485
00:20:29,210 --> 00:20:32,679
Okay, it-it's Colonel Mustard
in the study
486
00:20:32,680 --> 00:20:33,847
with the wrench.
487
00:20:33,848 --> 00:20:35,715
No.
488
00:20:38,986 --> 00:20:41,355
- Ah!
- I won.
489
00:20:44,998 --> 00:20:49,369
Transcript by Addic7ed.com
490
00:20:49,419 --> 00:20:53,969
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