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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Sync by fant0m www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:11,581 --> 00:00:13,982 Oh, sweetie! You look like you're waiting for Greenpeace 3 00:00:14,050 --> 00:00:16,685 to roll you back into the ocean. 4 00:00:18,921 --> 00:00:21,623 What are you doing up? It's so late. 5 00:00:21,691 --> 00:00:24,893 I can't lay down. It's like trying to sleep under a boulder. 6 00:00:24,961 --> 00:00:26,228 You want me to make you an omelette? 7 00:00:26,296 --> 00:00:28,630 Where would I put it? There's no room inside my body 8 00:00:28,698 --> 00:00:30,832 For anything but this baby. 9 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:32,768 You know, this is the part that they don't tell women about, 10 00:00:32,835 --> 00:00:34,636 Because if we knew that we were gonna feel this way, 11 00:00:34,704 --> 00:00:38,440 We'd all be lesbians. 12 00:00:38,508 --> 00:00:39,508 Too late for that. 13 00:00:39,575 --> 00:00:42,444 No. It's never too late for that. 14 00:00:43,379 --> 00:00:45,113 Mom... 15 00:00:45,181 --> 00:00:46,248 You know what? 16 00:00:46,316 --> 00:00:47,716 The minute you see this little guy, 17 00:00:47,784 --> 00:00:50,719 The memories of all this are gonna disappear forever. 18 00:00:50,787 --> 00:00:52,487 Really? No, not really. 19 00:00:52,555 --> 00:00:55,824 This whole birth process has a way of stickin' with ya. 20 00:00:55,892 --> 00:00:57,459 But it's worth it. 21 00:00:57,527 --> 00:01:00,996 Yeah. Can't wait to meet this kid. 22 00:01:01,064 --> 00:01:04,066 I know. Me, too. 23 00:01:06,869 --> 00:01:09,838 You know, maybe veal don't have it so bad. 24 00:01:09,906 --> 00:01:13,075 They get massaged and fed dairy products and beer all day. 25 00:01:13,142 --> 00:01:15,644 Just like your grandmother. 26 00:01:15,712 --> 00:01:17,546 I got it. 27 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,684 Hey, Raj? What are you doing? 28 00:01:22,752 --> 00:01:25,087 I thought you gave up this job so iou could work at the school. 29 00:01:25,154 --> 00:01:26,555 I've got 7 jobs, 30 00:01:26,622 --> 00:01:28,690 Each one more humiliating than the last. 31 00:01:28,758 --> 00:01:30,392 Good thing I don't have a day off, 32 00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:32,361 Otherwise I'd kill myself. 33 00:01:32,428 --> 00:01:34,329 Yeah. Okay. Take care. 34 00:01:34,397 --> 00:01:36,398 Thank you. 35 00:01:38,634 --> 00:01:40,335 Guess what just arrived... 36 00:01:40,403 --> 00:01:41,303 What? 37 00:01:41,371 --> 00:01:43,772 It's my book from the publisher! 38 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,640 Hot off the press. 39 00:01:47,777 --> 00:01:49,311 Look at that. Look at that. 40 00:01:49,379 --> 00:01:52,647 It... It looks like a blimp. 41 00:01:52,715 --> 00:01:54,182 Yeah. Well, that was the idea, honey. 42 00:01:54,250 --> 00:01:56,418 Sort of, you know, the hindenburg thing. 43 00:01:56,486 --> 00:01:58,720 They decided to make it a kids' book. 44 00:01:58,788 --> 00:02:01,423 So, they made it in the shape of a blimp. 45 00:02:01,491 --> 00:02:03,725 God, it smells good. 46 00:02:03,793 --> 00:02:05,160 What are you talking about? 47 00:02:05,228 --> 00:02:06,928 He's right. It smells yummy. 48 00:02:06,996 --> 00:02:09,931 It's covered in some kind of coating. 49 00:02:11,768 --> 00:02:13,502 Why are you licking the book? 50 00:02:13,569 --> 00:02:16,905 Because it's delicious! 51 00:02:16,973 --> 00:02:18,440 He's right, dad. It's really good. 52 00:02:18,508 --> 00:02:22,310 Mmm. Look at that. It's part of their "Lick and Learn" series. 53 00:02:22,378 --> 00:02:26,014 12 different flavors. It's completely covered in sugar. 54 00:02:26,082 --> 00:02:27,482 Mine's cherry. 55 00:02:27,550 --> 00:02:28,817 Mine's banana. 56 00:02:28,885 --> 00:02:31,586 Mine's chicken. 57 00:02:32,889 --> 00:02:36,925 All right. All right! Everybody, stop the licking. Ok? 58 00:02:36,993 --> 00:02:40,495 I never agreed to a candy coated book! 59 00:02:40,563 --> 00:02:43,698 It was bad enough that they took my beautifully researched epic, 60 00:02:43,766 --> 00:02:46,168 Which, by the way, I was going to title 61 00:02:46,235 --> 00:02:48,370 "the definitive story of the hindenburg" 62 00:02:48,438 --> 00:02:51,440 And turned it into "benny the blimp." 63 00:02:51,507 --> 00:02:53,875 Come on, babe. Look at the bright side. 64 00:02:53,943 --> 00:02:55,343 Oh, there's a bright side? 65 00:02:55,411 --> 00:02:56,578 Yeah. If the book doesn't sell, 66 00:02:56,646 --> 00:02:59,047 We can always hand it out at Halloween. 67 00:02:59,115 --> 00:03:01,750 Hey. I'm licking your face. 68 00:03:08,191 --> 00:03:10,725 You think you're gonna be licking my face?! 69 00:03:16,199 --> 00:03:17,299 So, do we love it? 70 00:03:17,366 --> 00:03:19,201 No, we do not. 71 00:03:19,268 --> 00:03:23,305 I said I would do it as a kids book, not as a piece of candy. 72 00:03:23,372 --> 00:03:25,407 Eddie, what can I tell you? 73 00:03:25,475 --> 00:03:30,245 The "lick & learn" series is "flying" off the shelves. 74 00:03:31,681 --> 00:03:34,816 We cannot even keep the books in the supermarkets. 75 00:03:34,884 --> 00:03:36,618 And it comes in 12 flavors, 76 00:03:36,686 --> 00:03:40,789 And the kids will not rest until they try 'em all. 77 00:03:40,857 --> 00:03:42,324 How did this happen? 78 00:03:42,391 --> 00:03:45,360 Well, our foray into this was the "very silly centipede," 79 00:03:45,428 --> 00:03:48,864 Which that only came in lemon and peanut butter. 80 00:03:48,931 --> 00:03:51,099 And fortunately, we managed to settle 81 00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:53,802 The anaphylactic shock lawsuit before it hit the press. 82 00:03:53,870 --> 00:03:56,705 All right. Miles, making my book edible 83 00:03:56,772 --> 00:04:01,309 Devalues the literary significance of my work. 84 00:04:02,278 --> 00:04:04,813 Let's cut the crap, Eddie. Really. 85 00:04:04,881 --> 00:04:09,818 You wrote a stupid book about glorified balloons 86 00:04:09,886 --> 00:04:12,954 That would not have sold a single copy 87 00:04:13,022 --> 00:04:14,556 Unless we printed it 88 00:04:14,624 --> 00:04:17,325 In the exact shape of a zeppelin 89 00:04:17,393 --> 00:04:19,928 And literally sugarcoated it. 90 00:04:19,996 --> 00:04:22,964 And I don't understand your attitude toward me, man. 91 00:04:23,032 --> 00:04:24,933 Really, what is this all about? 92 00:04:25,001 --> 00:04:28,436 You should be setting off fireworks in celebration of my genius. 93 00:04:28,504 --> 00:04:30,539 Because you're gonna be making a lot of money, man. 94 00:04:30,606 --> 00:04:32,307 And let me tell you something else... 95 00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:35,911 And I saving the best for next-to-last. 96 00:04:35,978 --> 00:04:38,847 I've already booked you in a book-signing party 97 00:04:38,915 --> 00:04:41,516 In the biggest bookstore in town. 98 00:04:41,584 --> 00:04:44,519 Signing? I think you mean tasting. 99 00:04:44,587 --> 00:04:46,121 Focus, Eddie. 100 00:04:46,188 --> 00:04:48,957 This book signing also features 101 00:04:49,025 --> 00:04:53,295 The one and only best selling author 102 00:04:53,362 --> 00:04:56,731 Of multiple children's books and movie star, 103 00:04:56,799 --> 00:05:00,101 Jamie Lee Curtis. 104 00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,437 What? You mean the "trading places" Jamie Lee Curtis? 105 00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:05,106 Both of them. Isn't it fantastic? 106 00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:08,543 I don't know, miles. This is starting to sound like a stunt. 107 00:05:08,611 --> 00:05:10,845 You're right, Eddie. We don't want to do a stunt. 108 00:05:10,913 --> 00:05:13,148 Why don't we just dump the movie star 109 00:05:13,215 --> 00:05:15,016 And we can bill it as 110 00:05:15,084 --> 00:05:18,787 "come see the high school teacher Eddie Stark 111 00:05:18,854 --> 00:05:20,188 And his lickable blimp book." 112 00:05:20,256 --> 00:05:22,057 That ought to pack 'em in. 113 00:05:22,124 --> 00:05:24,025 All right. I'll do it. 114 00:05:29,105 --> 00:05:31,540 All right, honey. Let's do it. We gotta get to the signing 115 00:05:31,608 --> 00:05:34,443 Before they eat all my books. 116 00:05:34,511 --> 00:05:35,611 All right, all right. Hold your horses. 117 00:05:35,679 --> 00:05:37,479 Takes a little time to look like an author's wife. 118 00:05:37,547 --> 00:05:39,882 Very nice! Okay. Let's go! 119 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:43,085 What? What? What? 120 00:05:43,153 --> 00:05:45,587 I think I'm having a contraction. 121 00:05:45,655 --> 00:05:47,122 Well, honey, look. We've had a lot of false alarms. 122 00:05:47,190 --> 00:05:49,658 What makes you think it's a real contraction? 123 00:05:49,726 --> 00:05:52,928 I think so because everything in my body just contracted. 124 00:05:52,996 --> 00:05:55,164 Well, that's ok, baby. Because you don't really have to worry 125 00:05:55,231 --> 00:05:56,298 Until they become closer... 126 00:05:57,367 --> 00:05:58,667 Eddie, I think this is it. We gotta go! 127 00:05:58,735 --> 00:06:00,302 Okay. Look. This is what we'll do. 128 00:06:00,370 --> 00:06:01,670 I will take you to the hospital. 129 00:06:01,738 --> 00:06:04,273 And then I'll just run by the book signing. 130 00:06:04,341 --> 00:06:05,641 Eddie! Okay. Look. 131 00:06:05,709 --> 00:06:07,076 We'll all go to the book signing. 132 00:06:07,143 --> 00:06:08,978 I'll sign a couple books... 133 00:06:09,045 --> 00:06:10,846 Eddie! All right! All right! 134 00:06:10,914 --> 00:06:12,381 Let's go! 135 00:06:16,653 --> 00:06:19,989 You're good. You're good. Breathe. Breathe. 136 00:06:22,058 --> 00:06:25,060 Well, I never actually saw a guy with his ass literally in a sling. 137 00:06:26,363 --> 00:06:27,863 Okay. Another contraction! 138 00:06:27,931 --> 00:06:31,266 Excuse me, nurse, my daughter is... 139 00:06:31,334 --> 00:06:35,337 I realize that you're busy, but this is actually an emergen... 140 00:06:35,405 --> 00:06:36,839 This is an emergency room. 141 00:06:36,906 --> 00:06:38,374 Everybody here has an emergency, 142 00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:41,276 Including the person I'm on this phone with "currently." 143 00:06:41,344 --> 00:06:42,745 Sorry. 144 00:06:42,812 --> 00:06:44,713 And an order of extra crispy egg rolls... 145 00:06:44,781 --> 00:06:46,949 And don't forget the hot mustard 146 00:06:47,017 --> 00:06:50,419 Or somebody will lose "they" job. 147 00:06:52,422 --> 00:06:53,622 Now, what's your problem? 148 00:06:53,690 --> 00:06:55,290 My daughter is going into labor! 149 00:06:55,358 --> 00:06:58,193 She should go into management. 150 00:06:58,261 --> 00:07:00,262 I get to do that joke 3 or 4 times a day. It's always funny. 151 00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:02,064 Not to me! 152 00:07:02,132 --> 00:07:03,966 Ok. What's the problem here? 153 00:07:04,034 --> 00:07:06,468 Oh, my God! Eddie Stark, the killer! 154 00:07:06,536 --> 00:07:07,669 Lawanda? 155 00:07:07,737 --> 00:07:09,872 Don't lawanda me, you murderer! 156 00:07:09,939 --> 00:07:11,440 Okay. I'm lost. 157 00:07:11,508 --> 00:07:13,108 No. No. This one here... he killed Helga Klum, 158 00:07:13,176 --> 00:07:16,245 The last survivor of the hindenburg, just for some stupid book. 159 00:07:16,312 --> 00:07:18,414 It's not a stupid book. 160 00:07:18,481 --> 00:07:19,548 It's delicious. 161 00:07:21,484 --> 00:07:22,518 Come on... 162 00:07:22,585 --> 00:07:23,619 Listen, can we forget all this right now? 163 00:07:23,686 --> 00:07:25,020 My daughter is going into labor. 164 00:07:25,088 --> 00:07:26,488 She needs to see a doctor. 165 00:07:26,556 --> 00:07:28,624 All right. Let me have your insurance card. 166 00:07:28,691 --> 00:07:31,026 Doug, give the lady your insurance card. 167 00:07:31,094 --> 00:07:34,696 This is some kind of joke, right? 168 00:07:34,764 --> 00:07:37,232 All right, Joy, just give her our insurance card. 169 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,700 Okay. I have it right here. 170 00:07:39,936 --> 00:07:44,039 Oh! Thank you. This thing weighs a ton. 171 00:07:44,107 --> 00:07:45,541 So does this thing. 172 00:07:45,608 --> 00:07:47,543 Okay. Okay. Sorry. Sorry. 173 00:07:47,610 --> 00:07:49,445 Here it is. Here it is. 174 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,580 Oh, no! This just covers the two of you. 175 00:07:53,783 --> 00:07:55,084 Look, I'm sure we can settle up later. 176 00:07:55,151 --> 00:07:57,286 My daughter has to see a doctor. 177 00:07:57,353 --> 00:08:00,089 Apparently you have never been in a hospital emergency room before. 178 00:08:00,156 --> 00:08:01,890 So, let me break it down for you. 179 00:08:01,958 --> 00:08:03,992 Unless you are an illegal immigrant, 180 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:05,861 You're going to have to pay. 181 00:08:05,929 --> 00:08:07,696 Buenos dias. 182 00:08:07,764 --> 00:08:10,432 Buenos dias! 183 00:08:12,635 --> 00:08:16,772 Okay. Take me to the hospital. And pronto tonto. 184 00:08:18,374 --> 00:08:21,110 You again? Don't call me tonto. 185 00:08:21,177 --> 00:08:23,011 I'm indian, not injun. 186 00:08:23,079 --> 00:08:26,315 You make dot jokes not feather jokes. 187 00:08:26,382 --> 00:08:27,916 I'm sorry, have we met? 188 00:08:27,984 --> 00:08:29,718 A 1,000 times. 189 00:08:29,786 --> 00:08:33,922 Now which hospital did you want to go to, you racist cow? 190 00:08:33,990 --> 00:08:35,858 St. Mark's hospital. 191 00:08:35,925 --> 00:08:38,327 You know, the one with the richest jewish doctors. 192 00:08:38,394 --> 00:08:40,529 I'm single, you know. 193 00:08:40,597 --> 00:08:41,763 What a surprise! 194 00:08:41,831 --> 00:08:43,932 What happened to your husband? 195 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,668 Well, my first husband, he...he died. 196 00:08:46,736 --> 00:08:48,637 By his own hand, I'm assuming. 197 00:08:48,705 --> 00:08:52,307 Nobody's proven that yet. 198 00:08:52,375 --> 00:08:55,944 And my second hu'and, he...he ran off with a whore. 199 00:08:56,012 --> 00:09:00,048 Well he probably figured he was paying for it one way or another. 200 00:09:00,116 --> 00:09:03,552 Okay. Let's move it, slumdog. I gotta get to the hospital. 201 00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:06,922 And get this magic carpet in gear. 202 00:09:06,990 --> 00:09:10,526 What a delightful turn of phrase, you ignorant toad. 203 00:09:10,593 --> 00:09:13,028 It's a good thing we're going to St. Marks. 204 00:09:13,096 --> 00:09:16,031 Coincidently, I have to deliver this chinese food there... 205 00:09:16,099 --> 00:09:19,034 Another one of my humiliating jobs. 206 00:09:19,102 --> 00:09:20,969 Well, I admire your ambition. 207 00:09:21,037 --> 00:09:23,305 You know, a lot of your fellow countrymen 208 00:09:23,373 --> 00:09:25,741 Would just be satisfied making slurpees. 209 00:09:25,808 --> 00:09:29,278 That's what I do on weekends. Graveyard shift. 210 00:09:29,345 --> 00:09:33,882 Or as I call it, "please don't shoot me, just take all the money." 211 00:09:38,721 --> 00:09:41,190 Okay, folks. We're flaps up and, we're ready to go. 212 00:09:41,257 --> 00:09:42,558 It's showtime! 213 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:43,859 Who wants a ringside seat? 214 00:09:43,927 --> 00:09:44,893 I do. Me! 215 00:09:44,961 --> 00:09:45,894 Me too. 216 00:09:45,962 --> 00:09:47,729 Listen, kids. In your lamaze class, 217 00:09:47,797 --> 00:09:50,832 I'm sure you're told that childbirth is the most beautiful thing in the world. 218 00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:52,267 Well, it's not. 219 00:09:52,335 --> 00:09:55,270 I wouldn't be going in there if I wasn't getting 7 large. 220 00:09:55,338 --> 00:09:58,040 And I was a tunnel rat in 'nam. 221 00:09:58,107 --> 00:10:00,142 Oh, please. I'm not squimish. 222 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:02,110 I do his laundry. 223 00:10:02,178 --> 00:10:04,680 And him. 224 00:10:04,747 --> 00:10:06,348 Let's go. 225 00:10:06,416 --> 00:10:09,284 Now if you're gonna go in here, you gotta go in sterile. 226 00:10:09,352 --> 00:10:12,854 Sterile. You might want to look into that so this doesn't happen again. 227 00:10:14,090 --> 00:10:15,958 All right, guys, let's saddle up and ride. 228 00:10:16,025 --> 00:10:17,726 Come on. 229 00:10:19,362 --> 00:10:21,230 You all right, Ally? 230 00:10:21,297 --> 00:10:22,431 All right, let's do this. 231 00:10:37,498 --> 00:10:39,634 It's true. 232 00:10:39,702 --> 00:10:42,604 The lord is a black woman. 233 00:10:45,374 --> 00:10:47,609 You passed out and took Betsy here down with ya! 234 00:10:47,676 --> 00:10:50,211 Come on, guys! I need these gurneys. 235 00:10:50,279 --> 00:10:52,947 I've got 2 gunshot wounds and a failed parachute on the way in. 236 00:10:53,015 --> 00:10:53,948 So get up and get out, 237 00:10:54,016 --> 00:10:55,316 Because the only way you're staying here 238 00:10:55,384 --> 00:10:58,686 Is if you get hurt, which you will if you don't move! 239 00:10:58,754 --> 00:10:59,654 All right... 240 00:10:59,722 --> 00:11:01,656 You've got 5 minutes! 241 00:11:03,025 --> 00:11:04,192 I gotta get back in there! 242 00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:06,494 No. No. No. Wait. Come on. Come on. Take it easy. 243 00:11:06,562 --> 00:11:07,962 Are you ok? 244 00:11:08,030 --> 00:11:09,564 Yeah, I think so. 245 00:11:09,632 --> 00:11:11,933 Okay. Good. Now, listen to me. 246 00:11:12,001 --> 00:11:13,201 You're about to become a father. 247 00:11:13,269 --> 00:11:15,103 The real "F-Word." 248 00:11:15,171 --> 00:11:17,505 Your life as you know it is over. 249 00:11:17,573 --> 00:11:20,341 You have to start acting responsibly. 250 00:11:20,409 --> 00:11:24,812 But what about my dreams, and my goals... 251 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,515 Over. 252 00:11:27,583 --> 00:11:31,486 But I have this plan to build a biodome in the amazon. 253 00:11:31,554 --> 00:11:32,854 Finished. 254 00:11:34,657 --> 00:11:36,157 Okay. 255 00:11:36,225 --> 00:11:38,660 So, what's it all about? 256 00:11:38,727 --> 00:11:40,395 I'll tell you what it's all about. 257 00:11:40,462 --> 00:11:42,764 You're going to have a lot less fun, 258 00:11:42,831 --> 00:11:45,300 But a lot more Joy. 259 00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:48,136 Ah. There you are. 260 00:11:48,204 --> 00:11:50,171 You pansies. 261 00:11:50,239 --> 00:11:53,741 Come on, you're missing everything in there, you two. 262 00:11:53,809 --> 00:11:55,476 I mean, the baby's not born yet, 263 00:11:55,544 --> 00:11:58,012 But Ally's water just broke. 264 00:11:58,080 --> 00:11:59,981 And it was just... Oh, it's amazing! 265 00:12:00,015 --> 00:12:01,683 Capicola's telling jokes. 266 00:12:01,750 --> 00:12:03,818 He's keeping it light, trying to make Ally laugh. 267 00:12:03,886 --> 00:12:08,456 And there are sounds coming out of my daughter that I will never unhear. 268 00:12:08,524 --> 00:12:11,726 But oh, God! It's just incredible. 269 00:12:11,794 --> 00:12:14,729 I mean, I've done it. But I've never seen it! 270 00:12:14,797 --> 00:12:16,631 Oh, God... 271 00:12:16,699 --> 00:12:18,800 I gotta get back in there and see how this comes out. 272 00:12:18,867 --> 00:12:21,002 I mean, literally, how this comes out. 273 00:12:21,070 --> 00:12:23,404 Joy?! Joy?! Ally?! 274 00:12:23,472 --> 00:12:25,139 Where's the baby?! 275 00:12:25,207 --> 00:12:27,709 It's my mother...I can't. I don't have time. 276 00:12:27,776 --> 00:12:28,810 Wait. Wait... 277 00:12:28,877 --> 00:12:30,979 Would you rather be in there or go get her? 278 00:12:31,046 --> 00:12:32,614 What else you got? 279 00:12:34,783 --> 00:12:35,783 All right. Go. 280 00:12:35,851 --> 00:12:37,252 I'm gonna... I'm gonna go back in. 281 00:12:37,319 --> 00:12:39,554 Wait. Wait, Doug, I know that you want to go back in. 282 00:12:39,622 --> 00:12:41,489 I know that your heart is in the right place. 283 00:12:41,557 --> 00:12:45,693 But, you know, it's not going to help Ally at all to see you pass out again. 284 00:12:45,761 --> 00:12:50,932 So, I think that you should stay right here. 285 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,601 Yeah. You're probably right, Mrs. Stark. 286 00:12:53,669 --> 00:12:55,637 Hey, call me mom. 287 00:12:58,641 --> 00:12:59,841 All right, just take it easy, donna. 288 00:12:59,908 --> 00:13:01,676 She's in labor. The baby's coming any minute. 289 00:13:01,744 --> 00:13:02,677 I know that. But I can't help it. 290 00:13:02,745 --> 00:13:04,245 I'm a wreck. I'm nervous. 291 00:13:04,313 --> 00:13:05,313 Excuse me. 292 00:13:05,381 --> 00:13:06,481 Hey, Raj! 293 00:13:06,548 --> 00:13:08,683 You gave me 10 dollars. 294 00:13:08,751 --> 00:13:10,618 Well, keep the change? 295 00:13:10,686 --> 00:13:12,553 On a fare of 9.90? 296 00:13:12,621 --> 00:13:14,756 You're welcome. 297 00:13:14,823 --> 00:13:17,158 Look, if you want to get rich, 298 00:13:17,226 --> 00:13:18,860 Go on "who wants to be a millionaire." 299 00:13:18,927 --> 00:13:21,162 Your people are good at that. 300 00:13:22,197 --> 00:13:24,999 Oh! Are those my egg rolls, honeypie? 301 00:13:25,067 --> 00:13:26,768 Yes, they are, my darling. 302 00:13:28,170 --> 00:13:29,804 I'll tip you later, handsome. 303 00:13:29,872 --> 00:13:31,439 Are you two a couple? 304 00:13:31,507 --> 00:13:33,441 Easy, donna. 305 00:13:33,509 --> 00:13:35,777 I think it's wonderful. 306 00:13:35,844 --> 00:13:39,380 It keeps them both out of circulation. 307 00:13:41,050 --> 00:13:43,551 Keep pushing, Ally. Keep pushing! 308 00:13:43,619 --> 00:13:44,886 Come on, we're in the home strech. 309 00:13:44,953 --> 00:13:46,220 Come on, honey, you're almost there. 310 00:13:46,288 --> 00:13:48,323 Oh, mom, I didn't know it was going to be this tough. 311 00:13:48,390 --> 00:13:50,491 Did you go through this with me? 312 00:13:50,559 --> 00:13:53,261 Sure did. 17 hours. 313 00:13:53,329 --> 00:13:54,729 Then I owe you an apology. 314 00:13:54,797 --> 00:13:57,298 I'm so sorry! 315 00:13:57,366 --> 00:13:58,599 It wasn't your fault. 316 00:13:58,667 --> 00:13:59,801 No. No. No. 317 00:13:59,868 --> 00:14:02,470 I am sorry 318 00:14:02,538 --> 00:14:04,339 For all the grief I have put you through. 319 00:14:04,406 --> 00:14:07,475 I'm sorry for the time that I stole all of your lipstick 320 00:14:07,543 --> 00:14:09,043 Out of your purse when I was 12. 321 00:14:09,111 --> 00:14:10,411 And I'm sorry for the time 322 00:14:10,479 --> 00:14:12,613 That I charged all my friends 5 dollars to come in 323 00:14:12,681 --> 00:14:15,650 And look at you while you were sleeping! 324 00:14:18,153 --> 00:14:20,054 Breathe. 325 00:14:20,122 --> 00:14:24,992 And I'm sorry for the time that I broke your favorite music box and blamed daddy. 326 00:14:25,060 --> 00:14:27,628 I'm sorry for the time you had to come into school 327 00:14:27,696 --> 00:14:31,632 When I told all my teachers that you gave me cigarettes and whiskey for breakfast. 328 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:33,434 And you never gave me cigarettes! 329 00:14:33,502 --> 00:14:36,771 And whiskey bottles do look a lot like maple syrup bottles! 330 00:14:36,839 --> 00:14:40,541 It was an honest mistake! 331 00:14:40,609 --> 00:14:44,579 All right, honey, honey, shh. 332 00:14:44,646 --> 00:14:46,881 Honey, I forgive you for everything you've ever done. Okay? 333 00:14:46,949 --> 00:14:49,951 Come on, this baby's gonna make up for all of that. 334 00:14:50,018 --> 00:14:52,587 This is it, Ally. The baby's coming! 335 00:14:52,654 --> 00:14:54,322 Don't let go, mom! 336 00:14:54,390 --> 00:14:56,090 I won't. I'm right here, baby. 337 00:15:06,901 --> 00:15:08,201 Eddie? 338 00:15:08,269 --> 00:15:09,369 Whitey, you made it! 339 00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:16,677 What the hell are you wearing? 340 00:15:16,744 --> 00:15:21,815 Oh, we were kind of in a little role playing thing 341 00:15:21,883 --> 00:15:23,784 When we got the news about Ally. 342 00:15:23,851 --> 00:15:27,921 It was a variant on the priest and the cheerleader routine. 343 00:15:28,856 --> 00:15:30,390 Luther, what are you doing here? 344 00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:31,591 Videographer. 345 00:15:31,659 --> 00:15:34,261 I take all the low angles. 346 00:15:34,329 --> 00:15:37,731 That's where the money is. 347 00:15:37,799 --> 00:15:39,733 Why you all handcuffed together? 348 00:15:39,801 --> 00:15:41,168 I don't want to talk about it. 349 00:15:41,235 --> 00:15:42,569 No, we were just wondering... 350 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,271 I said I don't want to talk about it! 351 00:15:46,374 --> 00:15:48,542 Do you know how long it took us to find a cab? 352 00:15:50,078 --> 00:15:52,379 Somebody lost the key. 353 00:15:52,447 --> 00:15:56,049 Well, technically, we know where it is, 354 00:15:56,117 --> 00:16:00,854 It's just we can't access it until after coffee tomorrow morning. 355 00:16:10,231 --> 00:16:11,932 Dad, you made it! 356 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,767 Of course I made it, I wouldn't miss this for the world. 357 00:16:13,835 --> 00:16:15,135 Am I too late? You're not. 358 00:16:15,203 --> 00:16:17,404 Baby hasn't come yet, george. Good to see you. 359 00:16:17,472 --> 00:16:19,639 And who are you? 360 00:16:19,707 --> 00:16:21,942 Well, this is Doug's father, george. 361 00:16:22,010 --> 00:16:25,012 And this Joy's mom, donna. 362 00:16:25,079 --> 00:16:26,646 Enchante. 363 00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:29,416 Oh, spanish. 364 00:16:30,651 --> 00:16:33,687 And this is my friend... 365 00:16:36,357 --> 00:16:37,290 Tina. 366 00:16:37,358 --> 00:16:38,859 Tina. 367 00:16:41,029 --> 00:16:43,163 Yeah. That's right. Tina. 368 00:16:43,231 --> 00:16:46,199 And who's that? 369 00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:48,368 Oh, this is a clown I bought for the baby. 370 00:16:48,436 --> 00:16:50,771 Oh, you brought a clown for the baby? 371 00:16:50,838 --> 00:16:52,339 No, I bought the clown for the baby. 372 00:16:53,508 --> 00:16:54,908 Come on, do that thing. 373 00:16:57,078 --> 00:16:58,278 You see, now, that's very funny? 374 00:16:58,346 --> 00:16:59,579 Kids love that. 375 00:17:01,215 --> 00:17:02,449 Hey, he's here. 376 00:17:06,387 --> 00:17:09,990 Mother, son and g-momma are doing fine! 377 00:17:12,193 --> 00:17:14,094 I'm not even going to ask. 378 00:17:15,263 --> 00:17:16,696 Come on! Let's go see him! 379 00:17:16,764 --> 00:17:18,131 Let's go! Let's go! 380 00:17:18,199 --> 00:17:20,200 Hey, Whitey, you wanna come see the baby? 381 00:17:20,268 --> 00:17:23,136 No, it's ok. We already have our own little guy. 382 00:17:23,204 --> 00:17:25,972 Hey, bimbo, follow me. 383 00:17:27,375 --> 00:17:30,010 No. No. Not you, sweetie. That's the clown's name. 384 00:17:32,447 --> 00:17:34,114 Here. 385 00:17:34,182 --> 00:17:35,782 Have a seat. 386 00:17:38,286 --> 00:17:40,454 I'm a lutheran. 387 00:17:40,521 --> 00:17:43,523 I'm a prostitute. 388 00:17:58,372 --> 00:18:00,874 Oh, a poodle! 389 00:18:00,942 --> 00:18:03,777 It's a giraffe, you moron. 390 00:18:05,079 --> 00:18:09,950 Oh, that baby's so delicious, I could eat him up. 391 00:18:10,017 --> 00:18:12,385 Oh, he is cute, isn't he? 392 00:18:12,453 --> 00:18:15,255 I'm serious. I'm hungry. 393 00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:20,627 He's the most beautiful baby ever born. 394 00:18:20,695 --> 00:18:22,329 He is, isn't he? 395 00:18:22,396 --> 00:18:25,599 He takes after his daddy. 396 00:18:26,601 --> 00:18:28,068 Hey, you guys picked out a name yet? 397 00:18:28,136 --> 00:18:29,769 We have. 398 00:18:29,837 --> 00:18:31,371 We're going to name him Eddie. 399 00:18:31,439 --> 00:18:35,075 Well, "Eddie" is a beautiful name. 400 00:18:35,143 --> 00:18:38,044 It's perfect. 401 00:18:39,180 --> 00:18:41,448 Well, I'm very honored. Thank you. 402 00:18:42,884 --> 00:18:44,217 It's fantastic. 403 00:18:46,621 --> 00:18:49,689 Eddie, meet Eddie. 404 00:18:51,592 --> 00:18:52,893 Hey, little guy. 405 00:18:53,861 --> 00:18:55,662 Hi, Eddie. 406 00:18:56,564 --> 00:18:58,431 Eddie? Yes? 407 00:18:58,499 --> 00:19:00,000 Credit card was declined. 408 00:19:01,335 --> 00:19:04,271 I think she's talking to you. 409 00:19:05,239 --> 00:19:07,774 I'll get this one. How much is it? 410 00:19:07,842 --> 00:19:09,409 11 000 dollars. 411 00:19:09,477 --> 00:19:11,111 Do you take cash? 412 00:19:13,481 --> 00:19:14,848 We sure do. 413 00:19:14,916 --> 00:19:19,019 And throw in a bottle of vicodin for me. 414 00:19:21,422 --> 00:19:25,158 * hey, little buddy, sitting all by yourself * 415 00:19:25,226 --> 00:19:27,127 * in your crib * 416 00:19:30,431 --> 00:19:33,934 * your mama and your papa watching blue-ray movies * 417 00:19:34,001 --> 00:19:38,505 * while you make them a gift * 418 00:19:44,845 --> 00:19:49,316 * pretty soon, mama's gonna come into your room * 419 00:19:51,919 --> 00:19:57,457 * and open up a present that can only be made by you * 420 00:20:00,228 --> 00:20:04,965 * you grab both your feet and say "hey" * 421 00:20:07,768 --> 00:20:10,837 * "smells like a great day" * 422 00:20:16,744 --> 00:20:19,346 Have a great day, buddy. 423 00:20:40,001 --> 00:20:43,236 It was bad enough that they took my beautifully researched epic, 424 00:20:43,304 --> 00:20:44,738 Which, by the way, I was going to call 425 00:20:44,805 --> 00:20:46,840 "the infinitive story of the hindenburg" 426 00:20:46,907 --> 00:20:50,410 And turned it into "benny the blimp!" 427 00:20:50,478 --> 00:20:51,544 No! 428 00:20:51,612 --> 00:20:52,646 "Definitive." 429 00:20:52,713 --> 00:20:54,547 What did I say? 430 00:20:54,615 --> 00:20:55,982 Did I say "infinitive?" 431 00:20:56,050 --> 00:20:58,618 But that means like even a bigger book, right? 432 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:06,000 Sync by fant0m www.addic7ed.com 433 00:21:06,050 --> 00:21:10,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31642

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