Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:15,181
If you have acid reflux disease,
2
00:00:15,191 --> 00:00:17,751
you know about the burning
pain of heartburn.
3
00:00:17,820 --> 00:00:20,620
But there'ssomething about
acid reflux that I didn't know.
4
00:00:21,722 --> 00:00:22,789
Over time, that acid churning up
5
00:00:22,799 --> 00:00:24,557
can wear away the lining
of your esophagus.
6
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,526
Ididn't know.
I didn't know.
7
00:00:26,595 --> 00:00:29,562
For many, just one
prescription nexium pill a day
8
00:00:29,995 --> 00:00:32,387
"'til death" is filmed in front
of a live studio audience.
9
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:31,998
Provides 24-hour
heartburn relief
10
00:00:32,901 --> 00:00:35,368
and heals acid-related
erosions in the esophagus.
11
00:00:33,386 --> 00:00:34,611
Welcome to starlight
theaters.
12
00:00:34,987 --> 00:00:36,636
Please feel free to
visit our wine bar,
13
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:37,370
Nexium, the healing purple pill,
14
00:00:37,108 --> 00:00:39,407
and here's our menu so you
can peruse our dining options.
15
00:00:37,380 --> 00:00:39,272
Is prescribed more
than any other
16
00:00:39,282 --> 00:00:41,207
prescription acid
reflux medication.
17
00:00:39,900 --> 00:00:41,812
Hey, I'll order the food.
You go save some seats for us.
18
00:00:41,217 --> 00:00:43,809
And the majority of people
with prescription coverage
19
00:00:42,212 --> 00:00:42,940
No need to, my friend.
20
00:00:43,756 --> 00:00:46,047
Our seats are reserved.
You're in 13. I'm in 15.
21
00:00:46,381 --> 00:00:48,748
Can get nexium for less
than a dollar a day.
22
00:00:46,395 --> 00:00:48,148
Who's in 14?
23
00:00:48,724 --> 00:00:50,780
Nobody. That's our "we're
not gay" buffer seat.
24
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,416
Side effects of nexium
may include
25
00:00:50,518 --> 00:00:52,652
headache, diarrhea,
and abdominal pain.
26
00:00:52,662 --> 00:00:55,054
Otherserious stomach conditions
may still exist.
27
00:00:52,868 --> 00:00:53,596
Woman on speaker:
"death plus one,"
28
00:00:54,108 --> 00:00:56,972
starring jet li, forest
whitaker, and amanda bynes,
29
00:00:55,557 --> 00:00:57,757
Relieve the heartburn.
Heal the damage.
30
00:00:57,517 --> 00:00:59,037
Will be starting
in 5 minutes.
31
00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:01,594
It's possible with
thehealing purple pill.
32
00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:00,813
All right.
That's us.
33
00:01:01,142 --> 00:01:01,701
I'm gonna hit
the can
34
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:03,629
If you're without
prescription coverage
35
00:01:02,742 --> 00:01:03,080
ok.
36
00:01:03,639 --> 00:01:05,267
And can't afford
your medication,
37
00:01:10,622 --> 00:01:13,333
Video: coming soon
to starlight theaters...
38
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,004
astrazenecamay be able to help.
39
00:01:12,104 --> 00:01:12,771
New club sandwiches.
40
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,306
Just the thought
of arby's new
41
00:01:13,981 --> 00:01:15,277
grandma, we're here!
42
00:01:14,940 --> 00:01:15,507
Tender and juicy,
43
00:01:15,693 --> 00:01:16,782
well, hello,
children.
44
00:01:15,808 --> 00:01:16,475
Oven-roasted chicken
45
00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:17,776
is making my mouth water.
46
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:20,579
And that no one thinly slices
it daily like arby's does.
47
00:01:20,589 --> 00:01:22,614
I'm thinking that thick-cut
pepper bacon and swiss
48
00:01:22,624 --> 00:01:24,650
are letting my taste buds
know that they're in charge.
49
00:01:23,938 --> 00:01:24,770
Let's go
in the attic.
50
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:26,818
And that fresh lettuce and
tomato are teaming up
51
00:01:25,458 --> 00:01:27,169
but grandma said
never to go up there.
52
00:01:26,828 --> 00:01:28,219
With a toasted
sesame seed bun
53
00:01:27,594 --> 00:01:28,721
what?
Are you chicken?
54
00:01:28,954 --> 00:01:29,721
To take down my hunger.
55
00:01:29,369 --> 00:01:29,993
No.
56
00:01:30,826 --> 00:01:34,057
Don't go up there, children.
Listen to your nana.
57
00:01:34,986 --> 00:01:36,082
Look.
I found my old dolly.
58
00:01:41,762 --> 00:01:42,834
Grandma's attic.
59
00:01:43,482 --> 00:01:45,781
Don't go up there
this christmas.
60
00:02:01,220 --> 00:02:01,884
I'm spiderman.
61
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:19,870
I'm spiderman.
62
00:02:28,285 --> 00:02:29,069
Well, I'm
pretty sure
63
00:02:29,565 --> 00:02:31,110
that my pee just turned
on a flat-screen tv.
64
00:02:32,558 --> 00:02:35,231
I'll tell you, a world where
my penis is a remote control
65
00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:36,940
is a world that I
want to live in.
66
00:02:38,093 --> 00:02:39,277
So, where's the food?
67
00:02:39,813 --> 00:02:40,773
Yeah, change
of plans, man.
68
00:02:41,165 --> 00:02:42,413
We're out of here.
This place is racist.
69
00:02:42,981 --> 00:02:43,893
What?
What happened?
70
00:02:44,277 --> 00:02:45,133
I'm in front
of the line,
71
00:02:45,501 --> 00:02:45,933
waiting to place
my order.
72
00:02:46,285 --> 00:02:46,605
The cashier skips
right over me
73
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:49,333
to help some white guy
on line behind me.
74
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:50,493
Really?
75
00:02:51,869 --> 00:02:53,437
Looked right through me
like I was a ghost.
76
00:02:53,781 --> 00:02:55,245
But not a white ghost. She
would have served a white ghost.
77
00:02:56,925 --> 00:02:57,237
Let's get out
of here, man.
78
00:02:57,557 --> 00:02:58,333
No, no.
There's no way.
79
00:02:58,701 --> 00:03:00,061
I'm not gonna let them
treat you like that.
80
00:03:01,093 --> 00:03:02,430
Excuse me. We'd like
to see a manager, please.
81
00:03:02,822 --> 00:03:04,348
I'm the manager.
Is there a problem?
82
00:03:05,062 --> 00:03:06,205
Yes, there is
a problem.
83
00:03:06,813 --> 00:03:07,869
There has been
a racial incident.
84
00:03:08,277 --> 00:03:09,021
You got a problem
with him,
85
00:03:09,357 --> 00:03:10,269
you got a problem
with your staff,
86
00:03:10,661 --> 00:03:11,645
and now you got
a problem with me.
87
00:03:12,053 --> 00:03:12,957
Tell him what
happened, kenny.
88
00:03:13,285 --> 00:03:14,309
I'm first in line at
the concession stand.
89
00:03:14,677 --> 00:03:15,405
Customer number one.
90
00:03:16,901 --> 00:03:17,733
There's a white guy
standing in line behind me.
91
00:03:18,373 --> 00:03:19,174
White as banjo music.
92
00:03:23,012 --> 00:03:24,437
And that lady right
there asked what I wanted,
93
00:03:24,989 --> 00:03:26,149
and I said,
"i am not sure."
94
00:03:26,565 --> 00:03:27,205
He was not sure.
95
00:03:32,781 --> 00:03:33,621
So I look at the menu
for a minute,
96
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,037
trying to figure out
what I wanted to eat.
97
00:03:35,870 --> 00:03:37,037
The cashier lady
skips right over me
98
00:03:37,638 --> 00:03:39,212
to help this white guy
sitting right there.
99
00:03:47,245 --> 00:03:49,277
Well, I do apologize,
but seeing as how
100
00:03:49,637 --> 00:03:50,589
you weren't actually
ready to order
101
00:03:51,005 --> 00:03:52,109
and the gentleman
behind you
102
00:03:52,405 --> 00:03:53,669
clearly has trouble
standing up,
103
00:03:54,982 --> 00:03:57,294
i'm just wondering
if it was truly racism
104
00:03:57,758 --> 00:04:00,503
or maybe just perhaps
bad service.
105
00:04:06,493 --> 00:04:08,605
You know what? I think
you might be right.
106
00:04:09,925 --> 00:04:10,997
It was bad service.
107
00:04:11,861 --> 00:04:13,397
400 years
of bad service!
108
00:04:14,324 --> 00:04:15,765
We are never coming
in here again
109
00:04:16,437 --> 00:04:17,781
because this place
is racist!
110
00:04:18,733 --> 00:04:19,453
Right, eddie?
111
00:04:21,581 --> 00:04:24,189
Y... we out this bitch.
112
00:04:40,265 --> 00:04:41,149
Oh, good.
You're home.
113
00:04:41,438 --> 00:04:42,141
Come on.
Let's go.
114
00:04:43,901 --> 00:04:44,725
I was just
on their website,
115
00:04:45,149 --> 00:04:46,957
and they have
a wine bar.
116
00:04:47,797 --> 00:04:49,854
They actually let you
take it into the theater.
117
00:04:50,382 --> 00:04:51,197
They encourage it.
118
00:04:52,086 --> 00:04:53,029
I mean, I don't
have to smuggle in
119
00:04:53,397 --> 00:04:55,079
my magic sippy cup
anymore, eddie.
120
00:04:55,694 --> 00:04:57,916
This is my day.
This is my day!
121
00:04:59,221 --> 00:05:01,557
Yeah, about that...
We can't go there, ever.
122
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:03,717
What? Why?
123
00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:05,501
Well, I was there
with kenny this afternoon,
124
00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:08,782
and there was a pretty ugly
racial incident.
125
00:05:09,581 --> 00:05:12,472
Oh, god. Did you
call him rerun again?
126
00:05:14,821 --> 00:05:16,349
He calls me jewish bigfoot.
127
00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:20,429
No, it wasn't
between me and him.
128
00:05:21,677 --> 00:05:22,157
What happened?
129
00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:24,478
All right. Well, kenny was
in line to get us some food,
130
00:05:25,109 --> 00:05:26,591
and he wasn't sure
what he wanted to order,
131
00:05:27,037 --> 00:05:28,653
so the cashier
skipped over him
132
00:05:29,069 --> 00:05:31,420
and went to the white guy
behind him.
133
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,887
It was unconscionable!
134
00:05:36,191 --> 00:05:38,632
Ok. But he wasn't
ready to order.
135
00:05:39,591 --> 00:05:40,935
I've been to restaurants with kenny.
136
00:05:41,256 --> 00:05:41,967
He does take
a long time.
137
00:05:42,303 --> 00:05:43,655
I got to be honest. It
doesn't sound racist to me.
138
00:05:46,448 --> 00:05:46,838
I know!
139
00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:51,856
It's clearly not racist,
not even a little bit!
140
00:05:52,287 --> 00:05:53,495
I mean, he didn't know
what he wanted.
141
00:05:54,031 --> 00:05:55,992
The guy behind him
was a thousand years old.
142
00:05:56,767 --> 00:05:58,671
There were dozens
of black people there
143
00:05:58,983 --> 00:06:01,335
being served delicious
panis without incident.
144
00:06:02,032 --> 00:06:04,294
It was like Dr. King's
dream over there.
145
00:06:06,183 --> 00:06:07,631
Ok. So what
i'm hearing is
146
00:06:08,143 --> 00:06:09,183
kenny thought
it was something,
147
00:06:09,727 --> 00:06:10,791
it wasn't,
and I think
148
00:06:11,135 --> 00:06:12,135
you just said that
they had paninis.
149
00:06:12,832 --> 00:06:13,143
So let's go.
150
00:06:13,511 --> 00:06:14,367
No, you don't
understand, joy.
151
00:06:14,727 --> 00:06:15,984
I cannot
go back there.
152
00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:17,319
I don't understand
why you can't go back.
153
00:06:17,648 --> 00:06:19,392
You just admitted
that it wasn't racist.
154
00:06:19,983 --> 00:06:21,488
To you, not to him.
155
00:06:22,575 --> 00:06:25,167
I stuck up for him
pretty big over there, joy.
156
00:06:25,535 --> 00:06:27,407
I mean, I was
calling over managers.
157
00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:28,535
I was dressing
them down.
158
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,151
I think I even called
someone a honkey.
159
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,392
I can't believe this.
160
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:38,205
This movie theater
is 5 minutes away.
161
00:06:38,677 --> 00:06:39,309
It's brand-new.
162
00:06:39,605 --> 00:06:40,949
I know, but look, honey,
we can still go out.
163
00:06:41,365 --> 00:06:41,741
We'll just go to the theater
next to the karate studio.
164
00:06:44,373 --> 00:06:44,709
No.
165
00:06:47,469 --> 00:06:49,029
I can't go back to
drinking purse wine.
166
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,749
I want to be classy.
Let me get drunk
167
00:06:54,029 --> 00:06:55,478
at the movies with
dignity, please.
168
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,540
No. Listen.
Come on, honey.
169
00:06:57,869 --> 00:06:58,813
That other theater
is not that bad.
170
00:06:59,781 --> 00:07:01,950
The board of health blew
up their hot-dog machine.
171
00:07:04,228 --> 00:07:04,892
Come on. You just...
172
00:07:05,221 --> 00:07:06,012
You've got to
tell kenny
173
00:07:06,307 --> 00:07:08,268
that this wasn't racist
and end this, ok?
174
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:09,804
Ok, joy, look.
Maybe you've forgotten,
175
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:11,427
but under this
freakishly dark
176
00:07:11,764 --> 00:07:15,317
but natural tan,
i'm actually white.
177
00:07:17,251 --> 00:07:19,260
So I can't go to
my black friend's house
178
00:07:19,611 --> 00:07:21,564
and tell him what is
and is not racist.
179
00:07:22,052 --> 00:07:23,166
But it wasn't.
But he's black.
180
00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:24,278
But it--
Black!
181
00:07:26,014 --> 00:07:26,398
But--
Bup, bup, bup!
182
00:07:26,950 --> 00:07:28,074
Listen, please.
183
00:07:28,958 --> 00:07:30,045
I can't do this.
184
00:07:31,461 --> 00:07:33,045
If kenny is a really
good friend of yours,
185
00:07:33,373 --> 00:07:34,118
and I know that he is,
186
00:07:34,469 --> 00:07:35,934
you can just
be honest with him.
187
00:07:36,478 --> 00:07:37,614
I mean, what
are you going to do?
188
00:07:37,894 --> 00:07:39,151
You gonna tiptoe around him
the rest of your life?
189
00:07:41,622 --> 00:07:43,334
All right. Ok.
190
00:07:45,190 --> 00:07:46,390
You know what?
You're right.
191
00:07:46,797 --> 00:07:48,477
I'm just worried
about being offensive.
192
00:07:49,109 --> 00:07:50,341
Since when are you worried
about being offensive?
193
00:07:52,221 --> 00:07:53,341
Last week, you said
I looked like
194
00:07:53,669 --> 00:07:54,694
weird al yankovic
from behind.
195
00:07:56,430 --> 00:07:58,897
That man has beautiful
hair and a tiny ass.
196
00:07:59,406 --> 00:08:01,190
So learn how to
take a compliment.
197
00:08:10,558 --> 00:08:10,878
Let me ask you guys
a question, man.
198
00:08:11,277 --> 00:08:12,878
How come on "idol"
when they kick a guy off,
199
00:08:13,174 --> 00:08:14,869
they always make them sing
one more song before they go?
200
00:08:15,998 --> 00:08:17,767
Where else in life
does this happen?
201
00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:19,950
You don't fire a kid
202
00:08:20,397 --> 00:08:21,245
from a fast-food joint
and tell them,
203
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:23,022
"hey, dave, I know
I just fired you,
204
00:08:23,453 --> 00:08:24,798
"but I need you to get
back in that kitchen,
205
00:08:25,174 --> 00:08:26,902
put on that apron, and fry me
one more burger before you go."
206
00:08:30,006 --> 00:08:30,566
What the hell?
207
00:08:30,846 --> 00:08:31,742
And then they make
this poor chump
208
00:08:32,038 --> 00:08:33,630
sing the same song
that got him
209
00:08:33,918 --> 00:08:34,782
kicked off
in the first place.
210
00:08:36,742 --> 00:08:37,902
They're like, "yeah.
That song you sang
211
00:08:38,582 --> 00:08:40,031
"was so horrible
and embarrassing,
212
00:08:40,550 --> 00:08:41,533
"we never want to
see you again.
213
00:08:42,861 --> 00:08:44,214
"But before we kick
your ass out,
214
00:08:44,710 --> 00:08:45,573
"why don't you sing it
one more time
215
00:08:45,998 --> 00:08:46,966
while the rest of these
people fake-cry behind you?"
216
00:08:50,870 --> 00:08:51,414
Who is it?!
217
00:08:58,133 --> 00:08:58,654
Hey.
How are you?
218
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:00,062
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't know
219
00:09:00,350 --> 00:09:01,847
you were having
a... a meeting.
220
00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:06,326
I could...
Come back another time.
221
00:09:06,870 --> 00:09:08,221
No, it's ok, eddie.
What brings you by?
222
00:09:09,629 --> 00:09:11,317
Well, i, uh...
223
00:09:11,862 --> 00:09:12,845
Wait. This is eddie?
This is the dude.
224
00:09:13,685 --> 00:09:15,830
What you did in that
theater, man, very cool.
225
00:09:16,718 --> 00:09:17,110
It was?
226
00:09:17,646 --> 00:09:18,174
Real cool.
227
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:20,726
You know what?
You all right.
228
00:09:21,021 --> 00:09:21,935
Yeah, man.
Yeah, man.
229
00:09:28,896 --> 00:09:30,848
I am all right,
aren't i?
230
00:09:31,216 --> 00:09:33,584
Have a seat, man.
I'm going to get you a beer.
231
00:09:33,984 --> 00:09:34,624
Great.
Thank you.
232
00:09:34,952 --> 00:09:36,719
Hey, kenny, we should invite
him to dinner tomorrow night.
233
00:09:37,727 --> 00:09:39,064
How do you feel about
chicken and waffles?
234
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:40,319
At the same restaurant?
235
00:09:40,791 --> 00:09:41,456
On the same plate!
236
00:09:42,448 --> 00:09:44,048
Shut... up.
237
00:09:51,992 --> 00:09:54,208
Uh! This theater
is disgusting.
238
00:10:00,248 --> 00:10:01,080
Oh, stop complaining.
239
00:10:01,408 --> 00:10:02,640
You're going to be drunk
in a few minutes anyway.
240
00:10:05,768 --> 00:10:06,200
What the--
241
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:07,144
Hey. Ow!
242
00:10:08,224 --> 00:10:09,040
Uh, there's
a person here.
243
00:10:11,872 --> 00:10:12,999
I can't believe you
chickened out with kenny.
244
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:14,696
I didn't chicken out.
What happened
245
00:10:15,032 --> 00:10:16,776
in that theater
was very, very wrong.
246
00:10:17,296 --> 00:10:18,360
But you know what?
Quite frankly, I don't
247
00:10:18,672 --> 00:10:19,600
expect a white girl
like you to understand.
248
00:10:22,215 --> 00:10:23,623
Yeah? What I do understand
is you're a wuss.
249
00:10:24,199 --> 00:10:25,199
And something is
licking my ankle!
250
00:10:26,904 --> 00:10:28,191
Listen, joy, what
happened was wrong.
251
00:10:28,744 --> 00:10:30,255
Hey, look, don't take
my word for it.
252
00:10:30,608 --> 00:10:31,384
Let's go to a man
on the street.
253
00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:32,784
Please don't.
Please don't.
254
00:10:33,096 --> 00:10:33,888
Excuse me. Sir?
255
00:10:35,472 --> 00:10:37,227
Hi. I couldn't
help noticing
256
00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:38,259
that you're black.
257
00:10:40,931 --> 00:10:41,291
What?
258
00:10:41,972 --> 00:10:44,092
No, no, no.
I just was wondering
259
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:47,021
if you can answer a
race-related question for me.
260
00:10:47,852 --> 00:10:48,948
Oh, so because
i'm black,
261
00:10:50,148 --> 00:10:51,188
you think I speak
for all black people?
262
00:10:51,564 --> 00:10:53,884
No, don't get that way.
I love you guys.
263
00:10:54,835 --> 00:10:55,467
"You guys"?
264
00:10:57,011 --> 00:10:58,387
I think we're done
talking now.
265
00:10:59,699 --> 00:11:00,292
Ok.
266
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:04,404
That went well.
267
00:11:05,124 --> 00:11:05,764
I don't need him.
268
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,412
I got tons
of black friends.
269
00:11:08,988 --> 00:11:10,012
You are
unbelievable.
270
00:11:15,011 --> 00:11:16,436
Oh, god.
I spilled my wine.
271
00:11:25,043 --> 00:11:26,067
That was the worst date
I ever had.
272
00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:28,299
That includes the time
273
00:11:28,611 --> 00:11:30,755
that I accidentally answered
my uncle's personal ad.
274
00:11:32,787 --> 00:11:33,860
Come on.
It wasn't that bad.
275
00:11:34,324 --> 00:11:35,548
Eddie, I sat
on a syringe.
276
00:11:36,931 --> 00:11:39,123
It wasn't a syringe.
It was a rusty spring,
277
00:11:39,739 --> 00:11:40,915
and it barely
broke the skin.
278
00:11:41,755 --> 00:11:43,139
Look, I'll tell you what.
Call your doctor,
279
00:11:43,499 --> 00:11:45,299
set up your tetanus shot,
and I'll meet you upstairs
280
00:11:45,629 --> 00:11:46,651
for a little
nookie-nookie.
281
00:11:48,228 --> 00:11:49,419
Come here.
Come here.
282
00:11:49,787 --> 00:11:50,436
No nookie!
283
00:11:52,827 --> 00:11:53,435
Ok, look...
284
00:11:53,836 --> 00:11:54,605
The place is awful.
I know.
285
00:11:54,957 --> 00:11:56,599
We got to figure out a way
to get to that new theater.
286
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,485
But we can't be seen.
287
00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:00,830
I mean, we can't go back
as joy and eddie stark.
288
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:09,167
But... we could go as vickie
and marcel charboneaux, huh?
289
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:11,941
I'll go grab
my eye patch.
290
00:12:13,909 --> 00:12:14,525
Hey.
291
00:12:14,973 --> 00:12:16,013
We just wanted to make
sure you guys were ok.
292
00:12:16,829 --> 00:12:17,477
Yeah. We heard
the police raided
293
00:12:17,829 --> 00:12:19,134
that theater
by my dojo.
294
00:12:19,662 --> 00:12:22,517
Yeah. Turns out it's not
the box office making the money.
295
00:12:23,038 --> 00:12:25,749
It's one pretty magical
men's room stall.
296
00:12:35,533 --> 00:12:38,157
It is such a shame you guys
can't come to the new place.
297
00:12:38,878 --> 00:12:42,446
It really is incredible.
The bathroom's fully automated.
298
00:12:42,950 --> 00:12:44,374
I don't have to touch
anything, except myself.
299
00:12:45,830 --> 00:12:47,391
Maybe you could stick to that
rule while you're in here.
300
00:12:52,581 --> 00:12:53,981
I don't know why
you don't just
301
00:12:54,317 --> 00:12:55,237
explain to kenny
how you feel.
302
00:12:56,541 --> 00:12:58,197
Well, I tried
talking to him,
303
00:12:58,533 --> 00:12:59,430
but then I got over there,
and I realized
304
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:02,159
i'm not any good at talking.
I'm not a chick.
305
00:13:04,253 --> 00:13:06,709
You know, sometimes it helps
if you try role-playing.
306
00:13:07,261 --> 00:13:08,719
Why don't you practice on me
and pretend I'm kenny?
307
00:13:09,349 --> 00:13:11,486
Kenny who? Kenny rogers?
308
00:13:13,453 --> 00:13:15,526
Because you couldn't
be any whiter.
309
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:18,117
It's role-playing, eddie.
310
00:13:18,397 --> 00:13:19,373
It's gonna help you say
what you want to say
311
00:13:19,677 --> 00:13:22,086
in a friendly,
nonconfrontational environment.
312
00:13:23,350 --> 00:13:23,910
All right. Fine.
313
00:13:24,245 --> 00:13:25,149
Great. Ok.
314
00:13:29,789 --> 00:13:30,598
Hello, eddie.
315
00:13:37,013 --> 00:13:38,061
Was there maybe
something
316
00:13:38,405 --> 00:13:39,117
you wanted
to say to me?
317
00:13:40,118 --> 00:13:41,677
Not really.
Come on, eddie!
318
00:13:42,181 --> 00:13:43,245
All right.
All right. Fine.
319
00:13:43,528 --> 00:13:45,902
Look. I... kenny,
I wanted to tell you
320
00:13:46,341 --> 00:13:49,230
that I'm not entirely sure
that what happened
321
00:13:49,582 --> 00:13:51,629
at the movie theater
was racist.
322
00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:55,631
Oh. Well, I know how hard
it was for you to say that,
323
00:13:55,949 --> 00:13:56,933
and I appreciate
your honesty.
324
00:13:59,629 --> 00:14:01,022
And I appreciate yours.
325
00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:03,381
This is going
pretty well.
326
00:14:07,126 --> 00:14:08,813
Now, let me ask you
a question.
327
00:14:09,901 --> 00:14:11,311
What makes you think,
as a white man,
328
00:14:11,813 --> 00:14:14,294
you have any idea what I
go through as a black man?
329
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,013
What?
330
00:14:23,013 --> 00:14:23,853
Have you ever
been pulled over
331
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:25,333
even though you're driving
under the speed limit?
332
00:14:25,757 --> 00:14:26,901
You ever been followed
around a store
333
00:14:27,222 --> 00:14:28,853
because the security guard
thinks you stole something?
334
00:14:29,181 --> 00:14:30,669
You ever get weird looks
when you walk
335
00:14:30,965 --> 00:14:32,013
into a restaurant
with your white wife?
336
00:14:32,709 --> 00:14:33,613
Huh? That's right.
337
00:14:34,638 --> 00:14:36,342
Is this making you
uncomfortable? Huh?
338
00:14:38,517 --> 00:14:40,438
Uh... it's making me
pretty uncomfortable.
339
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:43,270
Ok. You guys should
probably go.
340
00:14:51,677 --> 00:14:53,141
Did you take the
newspaper out of the john?
341
00:14:53,765 --> 00:14:54,542
Because I was
just stuck
342
00:14:54,869 --> 00:14:55,558
for the last
20 minutes
343
00:14:55,886 --> 00:14:56,918
reading the back of
your dental floss.
344
00:14:59,093 --> 00:14:59,629
Just looking
at all the movies
345
00:14:59,957 --> 00:15:00,493
i'll never be
able to see.
346
00:15:01,109 --> 00:15:01,861
So, listen,
i'm going to go
347
00:15:02,189 --> 00:15:02,981
to the chicken
and waffles place
348
00:15:03,333 --> 00:15:04,933
and meet up with kenny and
the other guys, all right?
349
00:15:06,005 --> 00:15:07,725
Ok. Have fun.
Order fast.
350
00:15:08,485 --> 00:15:09,822
I'd hate for them
to skip over you
351
00:15:10,245 --> 00:15:11,202
and take the black
guy's order,
352
00:15:11,650 --> 00:15:12,305
cause a big racial
incident.
353
00:15:13,281 --> 00:15:14,033
All right. Very funny.
354
00:15:16,617 --> 00:15:18,441
Oh, my god. That's it.
355
00:15:19,409 --> 00:15:21,427
When I'm there, I'll
take forever to order,
356
00:15:21,793 --> 00:15:22,977
and then they'll
skip over me
357
00:15:23,569 --> 00:15:25,193
in the same way that
they skipped over kenny
358
00:15:25,610 --> 00:15:26,689
when he was
at the movie theater,
359
00:15:27,106 --> 00:15:28,906
and then he'll realize
this happens everywhere.
360
00:15:29,281 --> 00:15:30,673
Boom. Problem solved.
361
00:15:31,729 --> 00:15:33,105
Hmm. Good luck
with that.
362
00:15:34,169 --> 00:15:35,369
I'm telling you, joy-joy,
this is going to work.
363
00:15:35,745 --> 00:15:36,498
You know what
I want you to do?
364
00:15:36,809 --> 00:15:38,577
I want you to slap on
some makeup, put on a bra,
365
00:15:38,890 --> 00:15:40,329
and I'm taking my lady
to the movies tonight.
366
00:15:41,145 --> 00:15:41,857
I'm wearing a bra.
367
00:15:46,706 --> 00:15:47,483
Sorry.
368
00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:56,420
Welcome to mabel's
chicken and waffles.
369
00:15:56,756 --> 00:15:57,396
May I take
your order?
370
00:15:57,788 --> 00:15:58,283
Chicken and waffles.
371
00:15:58,659 --> 00:15:59,027
Chicken
and waffles.
372
00:15:59,916 --> 00:16:01,587
Welcome to mabel's
chicken and waffles.
373
00:16:01,979 --> 00:16:02,547
May I take
your order?
374
00:16:02,859 --> 00:16:03,291
Chicken and waffles.
375
00:16:03,667 --> 00:16:04,011
Chicken
and waffles.
376
00:16:06,251 --> 00:16:06,723
Welcome to mabel's
chicken and waffles.
377
00:16:07,132 --> 00:16:07,644
May I take
your order?
378
00:16:08,916 --> 00:16:10,902
I do not know.
379
00:16:12,477 --> 00:16:14,597
I do not know.
380
00:16:17,806 --> 00:16:18,621
You know, this is
381
00:16:18,909 --> 00:16:19,373
probably be a little
frustrating on you
382
00:16:20,901 --> 00:16:21,509
It's gonna be hard.
Yeah, it is.
383
00:16:22,829 --> 00:16:24,221
It's just that I think
384
00:16:24,590 --> 00:16:26,374
we all need to
roll up our sleeves
385
00:16:26,918 --> 00:16:29,375
and just get down
to the serious business
386
00:16:29,829 --> 00:16:31,013
of what to eat.
387
00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:34,925
Gosh, it all looks
delicious. It does.
388
00:16:35,445 --> 00:16:37,053
You know
what I'm gonna do?
389
00:16:37,741 --> 00:16:38,413
I'm gonna go out
on a limb here
390
00:16:38,773 --> 00:16:40,846
and take a shot
at the giblets.
391
00:16:41,685 --> 00:16:42,078
Giblet plate.
392
00:16:42,526 --> 00:16:43,390
No. You know what?
Cancel that.
393
00:16:43,877 --> 00:16:44,685
Not gonna do the giblets.
394
00:16:45,110 --> 00:16:45,678
Cancel giblets.
395
00:16:46,509 --> 00:16:46,925
Let me see...
396
00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:50,911
What can you tell me
about the potato salad?
397
00:16:51,669 --> 00:16:52,989
Well, we parboil
red potatoes,
398
00:16:53,269 --> 00:16:54,197
we dice them
and toss them
399
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:55,661
with tarragon,
mayonnaise, dijon mustard,
400
00:16:56,053 --> 00:16:57,920
and just a kiss of
apple cider vinegar.
401
00:16:59,511 --> 00:17:00,519
Nah.
402
00:17:03,415 --> 00:17:05,071
This must be excruciating
for you, huh?
403
00:17:05,903 --> 00:17:06,871
You take as long
as you need, baby.
404
00:17:08,751 --> 00:17:11,544
Ah, you're a...
405
00:17:12,143 --> 00:17:14,393
You're a frustratingly
patient person.
406
00:17:14,986 --> 00:17:16,506
You really are.
This is...
407
00:17:16,881 --> 00:17:18,969
This must be driving you
crazy, huh?
408
00:17:20,577 --> 00:17:21,945
Anybody? No?
409
00:17:22,793 --> 00:17:24,018
Just take your time.
410
00:17:26,049 --> 00:17:28,569
Ok. What the hell
is going on here?
411
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:30,194
How could you
put up with this?
412
00:17:30,466 --> 00:17:31,650
Why aren't you
skipping over me?
413
00:17:32,186 --> 00:17:33,217
Because you were
next, darling.
414
00:17:33,793 --> 00:17:35,619
No, I know that
I was next... dear.
415
00:17:36,345 --> 00:17:38,681
But when someone takes
this long to order,
416
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,659
you have the right to go
to the person behind him.
417
00:17:43,650 --> 00:17:44,282
What is going on,
big man?
418
00:17:45,129 --> 00:17:46,377
You getting a little
freaky-deaky up in here?
419
00:17:47,882 --> 00:17:50,506
No. All right, look.
All right, kenny.
420
00:17:50,921 --> 00:17:53,145
I was trying to get
skipped over
421
00:17:53,841 --> 00:17:55,161
so I could show you
that what happened
422
00:17:55,585 --> 00:17:58,113
at the movie theater the
other day happens everywhere.
423
00:17:58,705 --> 00:18:00,947
It was not a personal
attack on you.
424
00:18:01,633 --> 00:18:02,170
The hell it wasn't!
425
00:18:02,673 --> 00:18:04,115
No. Listen to me.
It wasn't.
426
00:18:04,785 --> 00:18:06,858
What happened to you
was not racist!
427
00:18:11,273 --> 00:18:13,569
And I... i hate
saying that to you.
428
00:18:15,721 --> 00:18:16,521
Especially here.
429
00:18:18,825 --> 00:18:20,641
Oh, so now the white guy
is telling the black guy
430
00:18:21,057 --> 00:18:22,843
what is and isn't
racist, huh?
431
00:18:23,178 --> 00:18:24,651
What? No.
I mean, look...
432
00:18:24,994 --> 00:18:25,946
I know it appears
that way
433
00:18:26,282 --> 00:18:27,873
because I'm white
and you're black
434
00:18:28,393 --> 00:18:30,330
and I'm telling you
what's racist...
435
00:18:32,769 --> 00:18:34,274
But the fact
remains, kenny,
436
00:18:36,121 --> 00:18:37,593
that you take a long
time to order.
437
00:18:39,162 --> 00:18:41,682
Ok? And somebody just
got sick and tired
438
00:18:42,066 --> 00:18:42,954
of having to wait
for you,
439
00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:45,955
so she skipped over you
to the guy behind you,
440
00:18:46,409 --> 00:18:47,930
who just happened
to be white.
441
00:18:49,282 --> 00:18:52,434
You have no idea what black
people go through, do you?
442
00:18:53,009 --> 00:18:54,684
You know what?
You're right. I don't.
443
00:18:55,489 --> 00:18:58,314
But I know what
it's like to stand
444
00:18:58,754 --> 00:18:59,290
behind you in line
when you order.
445
00:19:02,089 --> 00:19:03,529
And it may not be
400 years,
446
00:19:03,833 --> 00:19:05,945
but it surely
seems like it.
447
00:19:07,889 --> 00:19:09,105
Look, man, I thought
you were my friend, man.
448
00:19:09,457 --> 00:19:10,449
I thought you had
my back on all this.
449
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:11,921
You believe this guy?
450
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:17,873
You do take a long time
to order, kenny.
451
00:19:20,497 --> 00:19:21,945
I've wanted to bring
it up for years, man.
452
00:19:22,337 --> 00:19:23,137
I just didn't know
how to tell you.
453
00:19:24,665 --> 00:19:25,553
We're hungry,
too, kenny.
454
00:19:28,202 --> 00:19:30,025
Oh, I get it.
I get it. Uh-huh.
455
00:19:32,209 --> 00:19:33,498
See, all you guys
agree on this, huh?
456
00:19:34,026 --> 00:19:36,075
Everybody agrees
on this, huh? Hmm?
457
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,115
The black guys,
the white guy,
458
00:19:38,705 --> 00:19:40,553
the asian guy sitting
back there in the corner.
459
00:19:42,257 --> 00:19:43,865
That's right.
I see you back there.
460
00:19:48,617 --> 00:19:49,841
Let me tell you
something.
461
00:19:50,194 --> 00:19:51,818
This ends right now.
462
00:20:07,921 --> 00:20:08,898
I will have...
463
00:20:09,578 --> 00:20:10,513
Chicken and...
464
00:20:45,633 --> 00:20:46,144
Waffles.
465
00:20:47,897 --> 00:20:48,825
Chicken and waffles.
466
00:20:56,970 --> 00:20:58,570
Ah, it's good
to be back.
467
00:20:59,218 --> 00:21:00,098
That it is. Ha ha.
468
00:21:05,907 --> 00:21:07,083
Hi. I just, um...
469
00:21:07,707 --> 00:21:09,459
I wanted to apologize
for the other day.
470
00:21:09,820 --> 00:21:11,836
I think that things got kind
of blown out of proportion,
471
00:21:12,492 --> 00:21:14,396
and I hope you didn't get
in trouble with your manager.
472
00:21:15,083 --> 00:21:15,690
Don't worry about it.
473
00:21:16,331 --> 00:21:17,315
Well, you're very sweet,
474
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:19,259
and I sure hope
you'll forgive me.
475
00:21:19,715 --> 00:21:21,979
Of course. I don't
have a problem with you.
476
00:21:22,636 --> 00:21:24,157
My problem is
with the coloreds.
477
00:21:29,459 --> 00:21:30,324
Kenny, we're out of here!
478
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,028
Let's go! Come on!
479
00:21:33,078 --> 00:21:37,628
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