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1
00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:04,987
Hey, mom,
2
00:00:05,021 --> 00:00:06,439
love the jacket.
3
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:08,633
Your late 20s are really
treating you well.
4
00:00:08,653 --> 00:00:10,867
And, George Clooney...
5
00:00:11,224 --> 00:00:13,313
What did you do
with my dad?
6
00:00:13,333 --> 00:00:14,745
- (Marty and Debbie) What do you want?
- Right. Thanks.
7
00:00:14,765 --> 00:00:17,243
So I was wondering
if I could go to a lecture
8
00:00:17,263 --> 00:00:20,919
on cultural studies, sometimes referred to
as a Jay-Z concert.
9
00:00:20,939 --> 00:00:22,346
When?
Night before Friday.
10
00:00:22,366 --> 00:00:24,642
- So Thursday.
- You could look at it that way, sure.
11
00:00:24,662 --> 00:00:27,108
- Yeah, not on a school night.
- Look, I already turned in all my homework,
12
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:29,238
Megan's dad is driving,
and I'm gonna ask Reggie,
13
00:00:29,258 --> 00:00:31,332
because he's responsible
and Asian.
14
00:00:31,352 --> 00:00:33,121
Amber, no.
15
00:00:33,493 --> 00:00:36,440
I don't like your jacket.
It looks fat.
16
00:00:37,030 --> 00:00:38,938
Whoa! Slow down there,
tiger.
17
00:00:38,958 --> 00:00:41,456
- Eat me!
- Mm! She's a charmer, that one.
18
00:00:41,476 --> 00:00:42,459
(Chuckles)
(Gasps)
19
00:00:42,479 --> 00:00:43,457
George clooney!
20
00:00:43,477 --> 00:00:44,884
What did you do
with Debbie Weaver?
21
00:00:44,904 --> 00:00:46,109
(Debbie and Marty)
What do you want, Larry?
22
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:48,202
We want you to take us
to a Broadway musical.
23
00:00:48,237 --> 00:00:49,859
- We've heard wonderful things...
- Yeah.
24
00:00:49,879 --> 00:00:52,733
Rumors of singing and dancing
and mormons and cats!
25
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,742
Yeah, sorry, guys.
We stopped going to musicals
26
00:00:54,776 --> 00:00:57,828
after our $600 family nap
at "phantom of the opera."
27
00:00:57,863 --> 00:00:59,263
Besides, whatever you want
to see,
28
00:00:59,298 --> 00:01:01,265
Hugh Jackman will eventually
turn into a movie.
29
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:02,934
Fine. We'll just go
on our own.
30
00:01:02,968 --> 00:01:06,399
Okay, we know you guys are anxious
to experience everything,
31
00:01:06,419 --> 00:01:08,539
but think of all the things
that have happened so far...
32
00:01:08,574 --> 00:01:10,580
- Larry almost falling down that well...
- Oh...
33
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,233
That Tuesday Jackie spent
in the revolving door.
34
00:01:13,253 --> 00:01:14,277
Mm-hmm.
35
00:01:14,297 --> 00:01:17,654
I mean, guys, I don't think you're ready
to experience the big stuff without us yet.
36
00:01:17,674 --> 00:01:19,639
- But...
- It's not open for discussion.
37
00:01:19,659 --> 00:01:21,841
You never let us do anything.
38
00:01:21,861 --> 00:01:22,887
Your jacket looks fat.
39
00:01:24,633 --> 00:01:25,358
(Clicks tongue)
40
00:01:25,378 --> 00:01:27,007
(Crickets chirping)
41
00:01:30,606 --> 00:01:33,098
(Lowered voice) What are you
doing out here, o dark one?
42
00:01:33,118 --> 00:01:35,015
(Lowered voice)
Jay-Z concert tomorrow.
43
00:01:35,035 --> 00:01:36,876
I'm sneaking out
to pick up tickets.
44
00:01:36,896 --> 00:01:38,696
Ohh, badass!
45
00:01:39,114 --> 00:01:41,576
- (Lowered voice) We're sneaking out, too.
- I'm impressed.
46
00:01:41,596 --> 00:01:44,229
We're going to see "Annie."
I'm no longer impressed.
47
00:01:44,249 --> 00:01:46,230
It's about a tiny Ginger
48
00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:49,249
who falls in love with a bald man
called "tomorrow."
49
00:01:49,269 --> 00:01:50,583
All right,
let's make this quick.
50
00:01:50,603 --> 00:01:52,677
I don't rat you out,
you won't rat me out. Deal?
51
00:01:52,697 --> 00:01:54,419
- Deal.
- All right.
52
00:01:56,327 --> 00:01:58,494
We're really doing this,
aren't we, husband?
53
00:01:58,514 --> 00:02:00,688
Yes, wife, we really are.
54
00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:01,808
(Breath quavers)
55
00:02:02,927 --> 00:02:05,533
Let's walk over
to New York City.
56
00:02:07,456 --> 00:02:10,042
S01E20
Sing Like a Larry Bird
57
00:02:10,062 --> 00:02:12,785
synced and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
58
00:02:17,609 --> 00:02:19,822
Mi, mi, mi, mi,
mi, mi, mi
59
00:02:19,842 --> 00:02:21,808
-
Good morning
- (Marty) Ahh!
60
00:02:21,828 --> 00:02:23,282
Good morning
61
00:02:23,302 --> 00:02:25,298
Morning. You guys
are in a good mood.
62
00:02:25,318 --> 00:02:26,724
Of course we are,
Debbie Weaver.
63
00:02:26,744 --> 00:02:28,736
Hidden hills is alive
with the sound of musicals!
64
00:02:28,756 --> 00:02:30,923
Oh, isn't it glorious?
I can hear it everywhere...
65
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:33,514
The birds, the bees, the people, the trees
(Both snapping fingers)
66
00:02:33,534 --> 00:02:35,484
(Larry and Jackie)
The birds, the bees the people, the trees
67
00:02:35,504 --> 00:02:37,469
All right, okay.
What's going on, guys?
68
00:02:37,489 --> 00:02:39,238
- We can't say.
- We went to see a musical.
69
00:02:39,258 --> 00:02:41,614
- When?!
- What?! We told you not to!
70
00:02:41,634 --> 00:02:43,150
She snuck out, too.
71
00:02:43,170 --> 00:02:47,121
- You snuck out?
- Oh, come on, man! So uncool!
72
00:02:47,141 --> 00:02:49,080
I can't believe you, Amber.
73
00:02:49,343 --> 00:02:52,348
I'm really sorry, but you were being
kind of unreasonable about the concert,
74
00:02:52,368 --> 00:02:53,301
so I just thought that...
75
00:02:53,321 --> 00:02:55,199
Okay, you know what?
Enough with the excuses.
76
00:02:55,219 --> 00:02:57,227
You are grounded. Go to
your room and stay there.
77
00:02:57,247 --> 00:02:59,183
Yeah. You're in big trouble,
young lady.
78
00:02:59,568 --> 00:03:00,784
Eee! (Shudders)
79
00:03:00,804 --> 00:03:01,521
(Sighs)
80
00:03:01,541 --> 00:03:03,005
Guys, what if
something happened to you?
81
00:03:03,025 --> 00:03:04,991
Oh... please.
82
00:03:05,011 --> 00:03:06,931
Oh, the city was so pretty!
83
00:03:06,951 --> 00:03:08,234
Ah, the lights were so bright!
84
00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:10,542
Although New York was
further than we thought,
85
00:03:10,562 --> 00:03:13,235
and people could be very rude as we were
walking through the tunnel of Lincoln.
86
00:03:13,255 --> 00:03:16,362
You walked to a musical
in New York City?
87
00:03:16,672 --> 00:03:19,173
Do you know what could have happened
if you would have got discovered
88
00:03:19,193 --> 00:03:20,261
or run over?
89
00:03:20,281 --> 00:03:21,675
Do you want the scientists
in the white coats
90
00:03:21,695 --> 00:03:24,232
to come and take over the community?
I showed you "E.T.," didn't I?
91
00:03:24,252 --> 00:03:25,684
Yes, you did,
and it scared us, okay?
92
00:03:25,704 --> 00:03:26,677
Now let's move on.
93
00:03:26,697 --> 00:03:28,829
Okay, well, we are just
trying to keep you safe.
94
00:03:28,849 --> 00:03:32,180
Oh, right, I forgot. We need
your help for everything.
95
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,054
Wife, let's go.
96
00:03:34,074 --> 00:03:36,449
That is, if we can figure out
how to get out of here
97
00:03:36,469 --> 00:03:38,360
with the weavers' help. Ha!
98
00:03:38,380 --> 00:03:39,072
(Door closes)
99
00:03:39,092 --> 00:03:40,287
That's the pantry.
100
00:03:40,305 --> 00:03:41,305
Mm.
101
00:03:41,340 --> 00:03:43,242
Borrowing this O.J.
102
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,724
That's Mayo!
103
00:03:46,891 --> 00:03:48,454
- Yeah, they don't need us.
- No.
104
00:03:49,013 --> 00:03:50,413
(Whirring)
105
00:03:50,433 --> 00:03:52,510
(Rock music playing)
106
00:03:52,697 --> 00:03:54,097
(Cell phone beeps)
(Buttons clicking)
107
00:03:54,471 --> 00:03:55,669
Hey!
108
00:03:55,688 --> 00:03:57,188
You're grounded.
109
00:03:57,222 --> 00:03:58,539
No computer.
(Music stops)
110
00:03:58,559 --> 00:03:59,758
No texting.
111
00:03:59,778 --> 00:04:01,976
All right, you know what?
I'm sorry I snuck out,
112
00:04:02,010 --> 00:04:03,094
but, honestly,
you have to admit,
113
00:04:03,114 --> 00:04:05,294
it's been a little
shawshanky around here.
114
00:04:05,502 --> 00:04:07,028
I'm a good kid, mom.
115
00:04:07,048 --> 00:04:08,483
I never do anything wrong.
116
00:04:08,517 --> 00:04:10,468
I wanted to go
to one concert.
117
00:04:10,739 --> 00:04:12,289
You could do a lot worse
for a daughter.
118
00:04:12,309 --> 00:04:13,421
(Cell phone chimes,
buttons resume clicking)
119
00:04:13,455 --> 00:04:17,125
No, no texting.
Grounded.
120
00:04:17,459 --> 00:04:19,544
You are so...
121
00:04:20,512 --> 00:04:21,694
Lame. (Mouths words)
122
00:04:21,714 --> 00:04:23,009
(Larry)
Overprotective...
123
00:04:23,029 --> 00:04:24,232
Stifling.
124
00:04:24,252 --> 00:04:27,726
Hmm. Their musicals are clearly the best thing
their planet has to offer.
125
00:04:27,746 --> 00:04:31,027
Just think about the other amazing things
they could be holding us back from.
126
00:04:31,047 --> 00:04:32,820
If only there was a way
of making them
127
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,342
really hear us.
128
00:04:34,478 --> 00:04:35,947
A way of expressing
our desire...
129
00:04:35,967 --> 00:04:38,780
(Up-tempo music starts)
To experience new and exciting things.
130
00:04:39,318 --> 00:04:41,998
Ideally,
things would rhyme.
131
00:04:42,234 --> 00:04:43,317
(Music stops, switch clicks)
(Gasps)
132
00:04:43,770 --> 00:04:46,165
I've been waiting
to use this thing.
133
00:04:46,885 --> 00:04:47,940
134
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:52,424
Megan, I think we've done all the analysis
we can do for a 3-letter text.
135
00:04:52,444 --> 00:04:54,638
When he said "hey," I think
he might have meant "hey."
136
00:04:54,658 --> 00:04:56,834
Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
137
00:04:56,854 --> 00:04:58,534
Did you get your telephone
from my bedroom?
138
00:04:58,554 --> 00:05:00,515
- You are grounded!
- Hold on.
139
00:05:01,396 --> 00:05:02,903
You know,
I thought about it,
140
00:05:02,923 --> 00:05:04,586
and I just decided no.
141
00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:06,385
I'm not grounded.
142
00:05:06,405 --> 00:05:07,651
What did you just say?
143
00:05:07,671 --> 00:05:09,041
What did she just say?
144
00:05:09,061 --> 00:05:10,406
Max, Abby, go to your rooms.
145
00:05:10,426 --> 00:05:12,317
No, actually, don't.
146
00:05:12,714 --> 00:05:16,248
You see, something occurred
to me as I sat in my room...
147
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,742
Unplugged.
148
00:05:17,941 --> 00:05:19,919
Parents don't have
any real power.
149
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,738
They can ground us, yes.
150
00:05:21,758 --> 00:05:23,984
But what if we say no?
151
00:05:24,004 --> 00:05:25,724
Can we do that?
152
00:05:25,910 --> 00:05:27,293
(Lowered voice)
Don't talk. Don't breathe.
153
00:05:27,623 --> 00:05:28,544
Let this play out.
154
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:30,891
So, anyway, Megan, uh,
I think a good response
155
00:05:30,911 --> 00:05:32,898
to "hey"
might just be "hey."
156
00:05:33,331 --> 00:05:33,966
(Door closes)
(Gasps)
157
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,046
- Did she just...
- Uh-huh.
158
00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:35,940
- But I thought that we...
- Yeah.
159
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,120
- So then how could she...
- I don't know.
160
00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,307
161
00:05:41,611 --> 00:05:43,266
Dominique, do you think
that was good?
162
00:05:43,286 --> 00:05:45,778
- Actually, I kinda do think...
- It wasn't. It was terrible.
163
00:05:45,798 --> 00:05:48,284
I'm sorry.
Singing isn't your thing.
164
00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,865
-
Yeah!
- (Sighs) I'm sorry, Billie Jean King.
165
00:05:50,885 --> 00:05:53,702
It was a little bit
cruise ship karaoke for me.
166
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:56,217
I'm gonna do an original song.
167
00:05:56,237 --> 00:05:57,086
- Oh...
- No, not another.
168
00:05:57,106 --> 00:05:58,575
I hate it when they
do that.
169
00:05:58,595 --> 00:06:00,792
I've been writing this
for my girlfriend Giselle.
170
00:06:00,812 --> 00:06:01,764
(Groans)
171
00:06:01,784 --> 00:06:03,162
Giselle
172
00:06:03,373 --> 00:06:04,477
(strumming)
173
00:06:05,259 --> 00:06:06,836
You're so swell
174
00:06:06,856 --> 00:06:07,948
(strumming)
175
00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:10,786
You're a 16th
the size of Adele
176
00:06:11,683 --> 00:06:13,055
(Pressing buttons)
177
00:06:15,592 --> 00:06:18,308
Amber, listen to me.
You are grounded.
178
00:06:18,328 --> 00:06:19,984
I reject your grounding,
Marty.
179
00:06:20,004 --> 00:06:22,391
What kind of example are you setting
for your brother and your sister?
180
00:06:22,411 --> 00:06:24,153
A pretty fun one,
by the looks of it.
181
00:06:25,675 --> 00:06:26,784
(Hisses)
What are you doing?
182
00:06:26,804 --> 00:06:29,308
What I should have been doing
a long time ago.
183
00:06:29,328 --> 00:06:30,773
Mmm! Mmm!
184
00:06:30,793 --> 00:06:32,756
(Bell dings)
Abby!
185
00:06:32,790 --> 00:06:34,347
Oh, hey, Debbie.
186
00:06:34,367 --> 00:06:36,109
Fix me up a sandwich,
would ya?
187
00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:38,262
Easy on the Mayo for once.
188
00:06:39,134 --> 00:06:41,479
Should have let me go
to that concert.
189
00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:44,333
Oh, my God. This is it.
It's a coup.
190
00:06:44,353 --> 00:06:47,185
- We do we do?
- What do we do? We ignore them.
191
00:06:47,205 --> 00:06:49,706
Give them 24 hours
with nothing to rebel against.
192
00:06:49,724 --> 00:06:50,991
They'll lose steam.
193
00:06:51,025 --> 00:06:52,437
(Hissing)
194
00:06:52,457 --> 00:06:54,478
(Muffled laugh)
Yeah!
195
00:06:55,452 --> 00:06:56,413
(Sighs)
196
00:06:57,512 --> 00:07:00,234
(Laughs) All right, husband,
are you ready for our first rehearsal?
197
00:07:00,268 --> 00:07:01,518
Am I ever.
198
00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:04,265
Up until today,
I've always been a Larry bird.
199
00:07:04,285 --> 00:07:07,335
But today,
I'm a Larry song bird.
200
00:07:08,179 --> 00:07:09,462
(Laughs and breathes deeply)
Deep breaths.
201
00:07:09,482 --> 00:07:11,133
Don't get pitchy.
(Inhales)
202
00:07:11,344 --> 00:07:13,334
(Slow theatrical music playing)
203
00:07:13,776 --> 00:07:16,199
There's so much out there
we should know
204
00:07:18,221 --> 00:07:20,720
And yet
you never let us go
205
00:07:22,688 --> 00:07:25,108
if we could do things
206
00:07:25,332 --> 00:07:27,447
Big spanking new things
207
00:07:28,887 --> 00:07:32,535
(both)
Life would be big,
bold, and bright
208
00:07:32,932 --> 00:07:37,531
as a Broadway show
209
00:07:37,551 --> 00:07:39,528
(song tempo increases,
brooms whooshing)
210
00:07:40,707 --> 00:07:43,959
I want to get
a circumcision
211
00:07:44,219 --> 00:07:47,575
I want to hitchhike to L.A.
212
00:07:47,595 --> 00:07:51,106
Drinking in dive bars?
I'd give it five stars
213
00:07:51,126 --> 00:07:54,828
More or less like what you'd
probably see on Broadway
214
00:07:54,848 --> 00:07:58,241
I want to use
a public restroom
215
00:07:58,261 --> 00:08:01,151
And try
all 50 shades of grey
216
00:08:01,932 --> 00:08:03,695
Roughing some bums up
217
00:08:03,715 --> 00:08:05,271
That's two big thumbs up
218
00:08:05,291 --> 00:08:10,017
Similar to the kind of thing
you might see on Broadway
219
00:08:10,633 --> 00:08:13,738
I want to do a tap-dance
at the local D.M.V.
220
00:08:14,195 --> 00:08:17,325
I want to give a lap dance
to a Starbucks employee
221
00:08:17,806 --> 00:08:21,105
(All)
What about getting a new tattoo
or possibly two or three?
222
00:08:21,125 --> 00:08:24,009
I want to smack the entire cast of "glee"
So do we
223
00:08:24,029 --> 00:08:25,163
Also me
224
00:08:25,183 --> 00:08:28,341
I want to learn
to use a chain saw
225
00:08:28,726 --> 00:08:31,866
I want to do a dream ballet
226
00:08:32,213 --> 00:08:35,432
(all)
Should you ignore us,
we'll add a chorus
227
00:08:35,452 --> 00:08:37,535
Everyone form a kick line,
what do you say?
228
00:08:37,555 --> 00:08:38,912
Hooray, hooray, hooray
229
00:08:38,932 --> 00:08:40,724
Life could be as wonderful
230
00:08:40,744 --> 00:08:42,337
magical
adjective
231
00:08:42,357 --> 00:08:43,355
swell
232
00:08:43,375 --> 00:08:47,063
as something you may or may not
possibly see
233
00:08:47,083 --> 00:08:51,029
on Broadway
234
00:08:51,712 --> 00:08:54,223
Please let us go and try
new things today
235
00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,060
Sing out, Dick Butkus
236
00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,214
Make our lives as fabulous
237
00:08:59,612 --> 00:09:04,215
as Broadway
238
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,422
Broadway
239
00:09:06,442 --> 00:09:08,242
Broadway
240
00:09:08,262 --> 00:09:09,893
Broadway
(High-pitched shriek)
241
00:09:09,913 --> 00:09:10,311
(Music stops)
242
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:13,958
Oh, no.
243
00:09:14,678 --> 00:09:16,527
- Dick fell in the well.
- Ooh.
244
00:09:27,589 --> 00:09:29,023
Coming through,
coming through.
245
00:09:29,058 --> 00:09:30,466
(Panting)
246
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,737
Tie it 'round your waist, son!
We'll pull you right up!
247
00:09:32,757 --> 00:09:35,459
No, don't do it, dick.
It'll tear right through you!
248
00:09:35,479 --> 00:09:36,899
What are you trying to do,
split him in half?
249
00:09:36,919 --> 00:09:38,942
He's tender like veal.
(Sighs)
250
00:09:38,962 --> 00:09:41,590
Maybe we should just call
the weavers and ask for help.
251
00:09:41,610 --> 00:09:43,538
I know.
Let's call the police.
252
00:09:43,556 --> 00:09:46,015
Oh, honey, they split up
in the '80s.
253
00:09:46,035 --> 00:09:47,422
Now sting's off doing
his own thing...
254
00:09:47,442 --> 00:09:49,495
No. No.
No, police officers.
255
00:09:49,515 --> 00:09:51,510
They'll come, rescue Dick,
and we'll be back home
256
00:09:51,530 --> 00:09:53,285
before the weavers can say
"I told you so."
257
00:09:53,305 --> 00:09:55,414
- Oh.
- Who has a phone?
258
00:09:55,737 --> 00:09:56,784
(Murmuring)
(Phone whooshes)
259
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:58,671
Oh. Thank you, son.
260
00:09:58,691 --> 00:10:00,789
(Dick) Keep it short!
Those are pre-paid minutes!
261
00:10:03,753 --> 00:10:05,490
How's it hangin', folks?
262
00:10:05,751 --> 00:10:08,635
(Sighs) Hey, Debbie, where's
your copy of "Magic Mike"?
263
00:10:08,655 --> 00:10:10,124
You're not watching
"Magic Mike."
264
00:10:10,144 --> 00:10:13,183
Fine. I'll illegally
download it from the Internet.
265
00:10:13,203 --> 00:10:15,814
(Bell dings)
I'm having a hard time ignoring this, Deb.
266
00:10:15,834 --> 00:10:18,135
Yeah, we need to put a stop
to this. Where is she?
267
00:10:18,155 --> 00:10:19,636
So what are you doing now?
268
00:10:19,656 --> 00:10:21,311
I'm trying to write this song.
269
00:10:21,331 --> 00:10:24,212
Okay, well, why don't you
stop trying to do that
270
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:28,046
and come with me
to the Jay-Z concert?
271
00:10:28,066 --> 00:10:29,386
Jay-Z?
272
00:10:29,406 --> 00:10:31,305
I love me some Jay-Z!
273
00:10:31,325 --> 00:10:33,345
- So are you in?
- I'd love to, but
274
00:10:33,365 --> 00:10:36,113
I can't figure out
this love song for Giselle.
275
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:38,297
- Just... I can't finish it.
- Huh.
276
00:10:38,317 --> 00:10:40,109
Maybe you have writer's block.
277
00:10:40,129 --> 00:10:42,404
Or maybe Giselle is just
too boring to write about.
278
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,257
(Sighs)
So meet me in the park.
279
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:45,642
We'll walk to
Megan's house from there.
280
00:10:45,662 --> 00:10:48,595
- Be there at 7:00.
- Okay. (Phone beeps)
281
00:10:48,893 --> 00:10:49,712
(Phone beeps)
282
00:10:49,732 --> 00:10:51,015
Amber, we need to talk.
(Sighs)
283
00:10:51,035 --> 00:10:53,636
But first, what happened
to the rug in the hallway?
284
00:10:53,656 --> 00:10:56,377
Threw it away.
Never liked that thing.
285
00:10:57,024 --> 00:10:58,927
(Sirens wailing in distance)
Are those sirens?
286
00:10:59,357 --> 00:11:01,007
What is going on?
287
00:11:02,075 --> 00:11:04,522
(Sirens continue wailing)
288
00:11:04,542 --> 00:11:05,775
Oh, boy.
289
00:11:05,986 --> 00:11:07,555
Amber, watch your brother
and sister.
290
00:11:07,589 --> 00:11:09,341
- I'm not gonna do that.
- Amber, enough!
291
00:11:09,361 --> 00:11:10,503
Fine.
292
00:11:11,049 --> 00:11:14,284
Hey. I'm making Martinis.
You in? (Rattling)
293
00:11:14,713 --> 00:11:15,963
(Police radio chatter)
294
00:11:16,133 --> 00:11:18,432
Jackie, what is going on?
Is everything okay?
295
00:11:18,466 --> 00:11:20,370
Oh, yes. Everything
is perfectly fine.
296
00:11:20,390 --> 00:11:23,373
We were doing a musical number,
and Dick fell in the well.
297
00:11:23,393 --> 00:11:26,460
What?!
Dick, are you okay?!
298
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:28,321
I'm well. Get it?
299
00:11:28,341 --> 00:11:30,493
- Stop that, Dick!
- It's not punny!
300
00:11:30,513 --> 00:11:32,007
Larry, you called the police?
(Police radio chatter)
301
00:11:32,027 --> 00:11:33,719
- I did.
- All by himself.
302
00:11:33,739 --> 00:11:36,510
Well, how are you gonna
answer their questions?
303
00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:39,576
You have no documentation,
very silly names.
304
00:11:39,898 --> 00:11:41,636
All of you are dressed alike.
305
00:11:41,656 --> 00:11:43,738
You have that spaceship
in your garage.
306
00:11:43,758 --> 00:11:45,736
Larry, you want this
to end up like "E.T."? Huh?
307
00:11:45,756 --> 00:11:48,993
Bubble over your house, you lying naked
and trapped in some drainage ditch?
308
00:11:49,013 --> 00:11:50,830
- Is that how it ended?
- No.
309
00:11:50,850 --> 00:11:52,443
- I never saw the end!
- It's okay.
310
00:11:52,463 --> 00:11:54,503
- You didn't tell me that.
- It's not how it ended.
311
00:11:54,523 --> 00:11:56,198
(Horn honks)
312
00:11:56,322 --> 00:11:57,872
Oh, great, here we go.
(Van door slides open)
313
00:11:59,098 --> 00:12:00,624
I got eyes on the well!
(Panting)
314
00:12:02,175 --> 00:12:03,868
Are you the boy's father?
315
00:12:03,888 --> 00:12:04,464
Um...
316
00:12:04,484 --> 00:12:06,027
Sir, please tell us
your name.
317
00:12:06,047 --> 00:12:07,127
(Shudders)
318
00:12:07,663 --> 00:12:09,685
(Lowered voice) Larry Bird.
319
00:12:10,256 --> 00:12:12,378
And your son's name
in the well?
320
00:12:12,875 --> 00:12:14,455
Dick Butkus.
321
00:12:15,022 --> 00:12:16,039
(Chuckles nervously)
322
00:12:16,238 --> 00:12:19,140
- Larry Bird and Dick Butkus?
- Butkus.
323
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:20,897
(Pants) We chose those names
because we...
324
00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:24,498
we wanted to honor earth's
finest physical specimens.
325
00:12:25,533 --> 00:12:26,667
(Panting)
326
00:12:26,687 --> 00:12:28,628
We don't have
a spaceship in the garage.
327
00:12:28,648 --> 00:12:30,321
This is "E.T."
It's happening.
328
00:12:30,341 --> 00:12:32,108
(Sighs)
The whole thing is happening right now.
329
00:12:32,128 --> 00:12:34,367
(Larry)
Oh, my God. It is "E.T."
330
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,603
(Panting)
331
00:12:36,223 --> 00:12:38,139
(Yelps)
332
00:12:38,159 --> 00:12:40,013
(Crowd gasps) Ooh!
(Thud)
333
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:42,253
Did you get that?
334
00:12:42,613 --> 00:12:43,742
Okay.
335
00:12:51,869 --> 00:12:53,202
This is so exciting.
336
00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:54,587
A kid in a well.
337
00:12:54,622 --> 00:12:56,457
If I had to do one more
teeth-whitening segment,
338
00:12:56,477 --> 00:12:57,872
I'd blow my brains out.
(Closes compact)
339
00:12:57,892 --> 00:13:00,155
Ooh, teeth-whitening. Wow!
340
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:02,193
Don't you think your viewers
would like to hear about that
341
00:13:02,213 --> 00:13:05,494
- instead of this silly old well story?
- I've got this, Debbie Weaver.
342
00:13:05,514 --> 00:13:08,592
I've watched plenty of your TV.
I can handle the media.
343
00:13:10,292 --> 00:13:11,378
Hi.
344
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,133
I'm Jackie Joyner-Kersee.
345
00:13:14,505 --> 00:13:16,793
If you could tell
the greater New Jersey area
346
00:13:16,813 --> 00:13:19,382
one thing about your son,
what would it be?
347
00:13:21,498 --> 00:13:22,930
He does not have a tail.
348
00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:25,747
Yeah, you know, he's just like
any other 8-year-old kid.
349
00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:28,998
I noticed all the people
in this neighborhood dress the same.
350
00:13:29,018 --> 00:13:32,326
Is this, like, some kind of commune or a cult?
(Debbie laughs)
351
00:13:32,346 --> 00:13:34,212
What?! It's...
352
00:13:34,232 --> 00:13:36,454
It's not a commune.
353
00:13:37,285 --> 00:13:38,181
(Laughs)
354
00:13:39,779 --> 00:13:40,996
No!
355
00:13:41,349 --> 00:13:42,492
(Continues laughing)
356
00:13:42,777 --> 00:13:45,296
I lied. He does have a tail.
357
00:13:45,316 --> 00:13:46,661
Oh, no.
358
00:13:47,039 --> 00:13:48,771
(Guitar strumming ballad)
359
00:13:57,299 --> 00:14:00,134
There's so much
I'm feeling
360
00:14:01,530 --> 00:14:03,904
More th m you can tell
361
00:14:06,201 --> 00:14:10,428
So much going on
beneath this
362
00:14:11,351 --> 00:14:12,897
shell
363
00:14:13,757 --> 00:14:17,084
I can't keep it hidden
364
00:14:18,101 --> 00:14:21,228
I can feel it swell
365
00:14:22,618 --> 00:14:25,439
Gotta let it ring out
366
00:14:25,873 --> 00:14:27,131
like a
367
00:14:27,151 --> 00:14:28,827
bell
368
00:14:30,787 --> 00:14:32,177
Giselle
369
00:14:35,407 --> 00:14:37,169
Giselle
370
00:14:40,036 --> 00:14:44,838
I can't stop
thinking about
371
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,065
(Stops strumming)
372
00:14:49,653 --> 00:14:50,785
Amber
373
00:14:52,346 --> 00:14:54,088
(man) All right, boys,
the winch is almost ready.
374
00:14:54,108 --> 00:14:56,124
What's going on up there?
375
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:58,531
It appears all is lost.
376
00:15:00,515 --> 00:15:03,062
Why are you smiling,
father?
377
00:15:03,096 --> 00:15:05,314
Because this is the low point.
378
00:15:05,454 --> 00:15:08,239
And if I've learned anything
from musicals,
379
00:15:08,259 --> 00:15:10,736
it's right after
the lowest point,
380
00:15:10,770 --> 00:15:12,838
everything turns around.
381
00:15:13,626 --> 00:15:16,100
The main song is reprised,
382
00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:19,637
but with a new,
potentially opposite message
383
00:15:19,657 --> 00:15:21,431
to the first song.
384
00:15:23,826 --> 00:15:27,086
So let's pause briefly
to recap
385
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:30,553
This world's
a scary tourist trap
386
00:15:32,029 --> 00:15:34,325
Shallow
Offensive
387
00:15:34,345 --> 00:15:36,703
Much too expensive
388
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:41,113
In short,
exactly the same
389
00:15:41,133 --> 00:15:44,154
as that Broadway
390
00:15:44,762 --> 00:15:45,822
crap
391
00:15:45,842 --> 00:15:46,735
(clatters)
392
00:15:48,584 --> 00:15:50,227
I think today
we learned a lesson
393
00:15:50,247 --> 00:15:52,386
I guess I've learned
my lesson
394
00:15:52,406 --> 00:15:54,180
Life's not some
whimsical souffle
395
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,638
I guess I really fell
396
00:15:56,658 --> 00:15:58,499
it's horrifying
397
00:15:58,519 --> 00:16:01,304
and ends in crying
fell just like Dick Butkus in the well
398
00:16:01,324 --> 00:16:04,601
not unlike those lies
they try to sell you on Broadway
399
00:16:04,621 --> 00:16:07,182
it's dumb and cheesy
and depressing
400
00:16:07,202 --> 00:16:08,356
Amber
401
00:16:08,376 --> 00:16:10,701
It's just
a badly plotted play
402
00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:12,451
Oh, Amber
403
00:16:12,471 --> 00:16:14,481
So, thank you, Weavers
Amber
404
00:16:14,501 --> 00:16:16,951
We're now believers
405
00:16:16,971 --> 00:16:18,643
Home is where we'll stay,
far from the lights
406
00:16:18,663 --> 00:16:19,743
And temptations
407
00:16:19,763 --> 00:16:22,572
And the dangers
And the wells
408
00:16:22,592 --> 00:16:30,461
(all)
of Broadway
409
00:16:32,136 --> 00:16:33,182
Hey
410
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:35,184
- Hey.
- Hey.
411
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,956
Oh, my God.
I'm still in love with Amber.
412
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:41,324
I have to tell her.
413
00:16:41,577 --> 00:16:43,526
I have to sing a song for her.
414
00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:44,927
(Engine rumbling)
415
00:16:44,962 --> 00:16:47,731
Excuse me. So that's it.
You're just leaving, right?
416
00:16:48,016 --> 00:16:50,677
Yeah. Once the kid's
out of the well, story's over.
417
00:16:50,697 --> 00:16:52,588
Well, what about the story?
418
00:16:52,608 --> 00:16:55,405
Oh, yeah. My boss looked at it,
and he hated it,
419
00:16:55,425 --> 00:16:57,566
so I guess it's back
to doing traffic.
420
00:16:57,586 --> 00:16:59,684
And my boss. Hmm.
421
00:17:00,341 --> 00:17:01,587
You know, I like her.
422
00:17:01,607 --> 00:17:02,791
- No, you don't.
- I don't like her.
423
00:17:02,811 --> 00:17:04,143
No.
424
00:17:05,429 --> 00:17:06,663
(Song ends)
425
00:17:06,683 --> 00:17:09,081
(Sighs) So I guess we got in
a little over our heads.
426
00:17:09,101 --> 00:17:11,725
About 14 feet over,
am I right?
427
00:17:11,745 --> 00:17:13,698
(Chuckles)
Good one, husband.
428
00:17:13,718 --> 00:17:16,266
Oh, we pushed too far
too fast.
429
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,555
Maybe we do need a little more
guidance than we thought.
430
00:17:18,575 --> 00:17:20,628
I know you'll be happy
to hear that from now on,
431
00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:23,246
we'll stay at home
and live vicariously
432
00:17:23,266 --> 00:17:25,959
through "3rd rock from the sun"
reruns.
433
00:17:26,301 --> 00:17:27,828
Well, we don't want that.
434
00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:29,826
No, we want you to experience
the world.
435
00:17:29,846 --> 00:17:31,911
It's just that
we worry about you.
436
00:17:31,931 --> 00:17:35,063
You know, we want you to be safe
as well as happy.
437
00:17:35,224 --> 00:17:36,912
You guys, you're...
438
00:17:37,843 --> 00:17:39,830
well, I guess you're like
our E.T.
439
00:17:40,294 --> 00:17:41,732
(Clicks tongue) Oh...
440
00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:42,677
(Exhales)
441
00:17:42,697 --> 00:17:45,871
Well, I suppose that would
make you our elliott.
442
00:17:45,891 --> 00:17:46,809
(Laughs)
We'll take it.
443
00:17:46,829 --> 00:17:49,190
I love that movie.
I always wanted to be Elliott.
444
00:17:49,897 --> 00:17:52,541
So, um... Elliott,
445
00:17:52,561 --> 00:17:55,064
there's a monster truck rally
this Sunday Sunday Sunday.
446
00:17:55,084 --> 00:17:56,715
Will you take us?
447
00:17:56,735 --> 00:17:58,055
(Imitating E.T.) Please?
448
00:17:58,075 --> 00:17:59,241
- Yes, I'll take you.
- Oh!
449
00:17:59,261 --> 00:18:00,179
- Let's do this.
- Okay.
450
00:18:00,199 --> 00:18:01,268
- All right.
- Good night.
451
00:18:01,303 --> 00:18:03,145
- Good night.
- (Marty) Sunday Sunday Sunday!
452
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,907
- Honey, you should come, though.
- No, I'm not coming.
453
00:18:04,927 --> 00:18:07,141
(Laughing) Guys, guys, guys,
come on, stop!
454
00:18:07,161 --> 00:18:09,101
It's been four hours
of this.
455
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:11,357
Abby, are you wearing
my makeup? I told you no.
456
00:18:11,377 --> 00:18:14,670
Yeah, I know, but something
occurred to us.
457
00:18:14,690 --> 00:18:17,686
We can say no.
You don't have any real power.
458
00:18:17,706 --> 00:18:18,987
But I do.
459
00:18:19,905 --> 00:18:20,957
Look.
460
00:18:20,977 --> 00:18:24,906
There's an unspoken bargain
between parent and child.
461
00:18:25,341 --> 00:18:28,387
And if you are not going to live
up to your end of the bargain,
462
00:18:28,407 --> 00:18:30,162
then we don't have to,
either.
463
00:18:30,182 --> 00:18:32,830
(Exhales) So here's what goes...
Christmas,
464
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:35,424
birthdays,
help with homework,
465
00:18:35,444 --> 00:18:37,614
vaccines, food,
466
00:18:37,634 --> 00:18:38,925
the warmth of a mother,
467
00:18:38,945 --> 00:18:41,176
the warmth of a heater
in January.
468
00:18:41,196 --> 00:18:43,839
All these things could
potentially disappear,
469
00:18:43,859 --> 00:18:45,680
or you could go back
to following the rules
470
00:18:45,700 --> 00:18:49,556
and have some semblance
of your happy little lives.
471
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,968
Do you understand?
472
00:18:53,292 --> 00:18:54,743
Can I get a "yes, ma'am"?
473
00:18:54,763 --> 00:18:55,952
(Max and Abby) Yes, ma'am.
474
00:18:55,972 --> 00:18:57,419
Okay, now go to your rooms
and get ready for bed.
475
00:18:57,439 --> 00:19:00,157
You're grounded.
I'm gonna count to three.
476
00:19:00,442 --> 00:19:01,511
One...
(Panting)
477
00:19:04,686 --> 00:19:07,044
(Lowered voice) I don't know
what I would have done if I got to three.
478
00:19:07,064 --> 00:19:07,801
Mmm.
479
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:12,115
And what about you?
480
00:19:12,135 --> 00:19:13,728
Are we done here?
481
00:19:14,172 --> 00:19:15,428
Yes.
482
00:19:15,626 --> 00:19:17,798
For the record,
I would just like to say
483
00:19:17,818 --> 00:19:21,657
that I didn't go
behind your back at first.
484
00:19:22,191 --> 00:19:25,231
I did all my homework.
I was going with a parent.
485
00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:28,319
I do everything right,
and you still don't trust me.
486
00:19:29,425 --> 00:19:32,583
I guess it is a little
shawshanky around here.
487
00:19:33,024 --> 00:19:35,593
Maybe we can loosen the reins
a little.
488
00:19:36,219 --> 00:19:37,435
Thank you.
489
00:19:38,006 --> 00:19:39,496
I crossed a weird line
today.
490
00:19:39,514 --> 00:19:42,304
Turned the little ones into animals.
(Simon Lynge)
Give me love
491
00:19:42,324 --> 00:19:44,018
take my phone.
I'm grounding myself.
492
00:19:44,038 --> 00:19:45,441
Give me love
493
00:19:45,461 --> 00:19:47,754
I already grounded you.
and I'll bring it back to you
494
00:19:47,774 --> 00:19:49,467
Whatever you need
to tell yourself, Deb.
495
00:19:49,487 --> 00:19:51,907
Give me love
496
00:19:52,378 --> 00:19:54,345
Give me love
497
00:19:54,872 --> 00:19:57,925
and I'll bring it
back to you
498
00:20:00,779 --> 00:20:01,736
(Gasps softly)
499
00:20:03,248 --> 00:20:04,855
(Crickets chirping)
500
00:20:04,875 --> 00:20:05,664
(Sighs)
501
00:20:05,684 --> 00:20:08,804
(Male sportscaster speaking
indistinctly on TV)
502
00:20:11,397 --> 00:20:13,030
(Vibrating)
503
00:20:15,090 --> 00:20:16,547
(Line ringing)
It's Amber. Whatever.
504
00:20:16,567 --> 00:20:17,676
(Tone beeps)
505
00:20:17,696 --> 00:20:19,979
Hello, Amber. It's Reggie.
506
00:20:21,071 --> 00:20:23,918
I don't know why you
didn't come tonight, but...
507
00:20:23,938 --> 00:20:26,988
Maybe you found someone else
to go to the concert with.
508
00:20:28,626 --> 00:20:30,673
I kind of wanted
to talk to you.
509
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:36,668
But never mind.
Maybe it's not that important.
510
00:20:36,688 --> 00:20:39,170
Give me love
511
00:20:39,592 --> 00:20:41,602
Give me love
512
00:20:42,173 --> 00:20:44,531
and I'll bring it
back to you
513
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:50,170
- Father?
- Don't tell the weavers I'm back down here.
514
00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:58,067
I don't know if this
will work.
515
00:20:58,087 --> 00:20:59,809
That fence is pretty high.
516
00:20:59,829 --> 00:21:01,919
You can do it.
You're an alien.
517
00:21:01,939 --> 00:21:03,433
You just have to focus.
518
00:21:03,453 --> 00:21:06,126
We're flying over that fence
and across the moon.
519
00:21:06,146 --> 00:21:08,325
Oh, what the hell. What's
the worst that could happen?
520
00:21:08,345 --> 00:21:10,169
Absolutely not!
521
00:21:10,442 --> 00:21:13,102
But, mom, Dick says
he can do this!
522
00:21:13,122 --> 00:21:15,187
Okay, being grounded
means no TV,
523
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,982
no video games,
no flying with aliens.
524
00:21:19,230 --> 00:21:20,781
(Sighs) Fine!
525
00:21:21,129 --> 00:21:22,879
I can't believe you, Max.
526
00:21:22,978 --> 00:21:24,355
Really?
527
00:21:24,541 --> 00:21:25,785
(Crickets chirping)
528
00:21:27,247 --> 00:21:28,753
(Lowered voice)
Come on, Dick.
529
00:21:29,091 --> 00:21:30,828
We can do this.
530
00:21:30,977 --> 00:21:32,124
(Dramatic music playing)
531
00:21:32,144 --> 00:21:34,191
Come on, Dick!
You can do this! Whoo!
532
00:21:35,023 --> 00:21:36,896
(Loud thud)
Aah! (Sighs) Ohh!
533
00:21:36,916 --> 00:21:38,684
That didn't work.
534
00:21:39,159 --> 00:21:41,542
www.addic7ed.com
535
00:21:41,592 --> 00:21:46,142
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