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1
00:00:02,227 --> 00:00:03,607
The thing about this car
is it's, like,
2
00:00:03,627 --> 00:00:06,069
one of those rarities of life.
It's like me.
3
00:00:06,089 --> 00:00:08,287
So this joker, this... Jeremy,
4
00:00:08,307 --> 00:00:10,692
what's the deal
with that situation?
5
00:00:10,712 --> 00:00:13,127
I don't know. She doesn't
talk to me about boy stuff.
6
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,424
Hasn't since
the muppets took Manhattan.
7
00:00:15,444 --> 00:00:18,340
- What?
- She had a weird dream about Gonzo.
8
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:19,612
You don't want to know.
9
00:00:19,632 --> 00:00:21,877
Gonzo's a daredevil
who plays the trumpet, okay.
10
00:00:21,897 --> 00:00:24,173
He checks a lot of boxes.
I get that.
11
00:00:24,193 --> 00:00:25,682
This guy is no Gonzo.
12
00:00:25,702 --> 00:00:27,678
No, he's not.
13
00:00:27,698 --> 00:00:29,642
The thing about these rims
14
00:00:29,662 --> 00:00:32,045
is they're real close
to the ground,
15
00:00:32,764 --> 00:00:34,575
so they get dirty.
16
00:00:34,595 --> 00:00:36,704
Um... interesting.
17
00:00:37,387 --> 00:00:38,255
Tell me more.
18
00:00:38,275 --> 00:00:40,443
I will. Polishing...
a lot of people think
19
00:00:40,463 --> 00:00:42,304
that chamois cloths are
the way to go.
20
00:00:42,324 --> 00:00:45,655
Not me. My personal opinion
is microfiber cloths.
21
00:00:45,675 --> 00:00:48,648
No one knows this 'cause they
get wet as soon as you use 'em.
22
00:00:48,668 --> 00:00:52,408
But if you get a whole stack
of 'em, like tons of 'em...
23
00:00:54,233 --> 00:00:56,068
I like your hair, Giselle.
24
00:00:56,088 --> 00:00:59,449
I like your hair, Reggie.
25
00:00:59,483 --> 00:01:00,861
So, Reggie,
26
00:01:00,881 --> 00:01:03,110
it's been three weeks
since you took me to the dance
27
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:04,987
in an attempt
to make Amber jealous.
28
00:01:05,005 --> 00:01:06,166
Two weeks and four days.
29
00:01:06,186 --> 00:01:08,975
- We've been studying together...
- Every day after school.
30
00:01:09,009 --> 00:01:10,579
We rented that awesome movie.
31
00:01:10,599 --> 00:01:11,991
Smurf yes, we did!
32
00:01:12,011 --> 00:01:15,605
And so I as wondering...
I'm just kind of curious...
33
00:01:15,625 --> 00:01:17,378
am I your girlfriend?
34
00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:21,727
Well, honestly, Giselle,
I don't know.
35
00:01:21,747 --> 00:01:23,639
It's just,
I like you, Reggie,
36
00:01:23,795 --> 00:01:26,618
and I try to be honest
with the people that I like.
37
00:01:29,301 --> 00:01:31,473
But no pressure, really.
38
00:01:31,892 --> 00:01:33,164
Bitch.
39
00:01:33,184 --> 00:01:36,810
I can't believe our son has
fallen prey to a human girl.
40
00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,897
Human romances seem
so enchanting.
41
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:42,747
But watching Reggie involved
in one is upsetting me.
42
00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:44,373
Why is it upsetting me,
husband?
43
00:01:44,407 --> 00:01:46,492
'Cause you haven't seen him
in three weeks.
44
00:01:46,526 --> 00:01:48,428
Giselle this, Giselle that.
45
00:01:48,448 --> 00:01:50,895
- You're funny.
- You're funny.
46
00:01:50,915 --> 00:01:52,682
Oh, I can't watch this
anymore.
47
00:01:52,716 --> 00:01:55,094
Oh! Let's see what's
going on with the weavers.
48
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:55,949
- You are.
- You are.
49
00:01:55,969 --> 00:01:57,119
Oh, yes.
50
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:59,021
I could do with
a little schadenfreude.
51
00:01:59,055 --> 00:02:01,134
- Hey, honey, did Jeremy...
- Yep.
52
00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:02,644
So you two are bec...
53
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,970
- So is he your boyfr...
- Bye, mom.
54
00:02:05,901 --> 00:02:07,386
Well, on the bright side,
55
00:02:07,406 --> 00:02:09,639
at least we don't have to raise
a teenage girl.
56
00:02:10,942 --> 00:02:13,249
Giselle and I are going to braid
each other's hair.
57
00:02:13,269 --> 00:02:16,450
Thanks again so much
for opening your home to me.
58
00:02:20,271 --> 00:02:21,527
Slut.
59
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:24,145
S01E15
Space Invaders
60
00:02:24,319 --> 00:02:26,577
synced and corrected by ninh
www.addic7ed.com
61
00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:29,640
Ooh, how tasty!
62
00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:31,042
More tea, bunny?
63
00:02:31,062 --> 00:02:34,368
Hey, honey. I was hoping I could
join your tea party.
64
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:35,932
We're kind of full.
65
00:02:35,952 --> 00:02:37,727
I brought chocolate.
66
00:02:40,072 --> 00:02:41,912
Oh, look.
We have an opening.
67
00:02:43,285 --> 00:02:44,534
There you go.
68
00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:49,668
So, Abby,
I know you hear things.
69
00:02:49,688 --> 00:02:53,865
I was just wondering what
you know about Amber and Jeremy.
70
00:02:54,113 --> 00:02:56,632
It's just, your sister doesn't
talk to me.
71
00:02:56,652 --> 00:02:58,382
Teenagers, huh?
72
00:02:58,581 --> 00:03:00,186
I always had this image
in my head
73
00:03:00,206 --> 00:03:03,428
of Amber and I, sittin'
in our bathrobes in the kitchen,
74
00:03:03,448 --> 00:03:06,356
talking about her boyfriends
over a pint of ice cream.
75
00:03:06,390 --> 00:03:08,441
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
76
00:03:09,268 --> 00:03:11,172
Yes, I know, horsey,
77
00:03:11,192 --> 00:03:15,299
but she's my mommy.
I can't just ask her to leave.
78
00:03:16,193 --> 00:03:19,432
I'm sorry.
Horsey's in a mood.
79
00:03:21,442 --> 00:03:22,858
Okay.
80
00:03:23,466 --> 00:03:25,477
So when Amber texts Jeremy...
81
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,691
I've seen a smiley face,
82
00:03:28,852 --> 00:03:30,805
a tongue-out face,
83
00:03:30,825 --> 00:03:34,366
and a couple of times
"L.M.A.O."
84
00:03:35,334 --> 00:03:37,014
Oh, my God.
85
00:03:37,034 --> 00:03:37,971
"Let my ass out."
86
00:03:37,991 --> 00:03:40,426
She's texting "let my ass out."
87
00:03:40,446 --> 00:03:41,365
Mommy!
88
00:03:41,385 --> 00:03:45,065
Horsey already didn't
want you to come. Come on!
89
00:03:47,225 --> 00:03:50,327
Amber is dating, Max.
The nightmare has begun.
90
00:03:51,369 --> 00:03:52,987
Winter is coming.
91
00:03:53,007 --> 00:03:54,306
"Game of thrones"?
92
00:03:54,326 --> 00:03:56,044
"Game of thrones."
93
00:03:56,064 --> 00:04:00,350
It occurs to me that daughters are the least
loyal creatures on earth, Max.
94
00:04:00,370 --> 00:04:03,465
Each of them will one day
abandon us for some young man
95
00:04:03,485 --> 00:04:06,971
with a "Teen Wolf" haircut
and secondhand corolla.
96
00:04:07,132 --> 00:04:09,197
I'm gonna lean on the only
two things a man can count on,
97
00:04:09,217 --> 00:04:11,455
and that's his son
and his land.
98
00:04:11,475 --> 00:04:13,031
You are my son,
99
00:04:13,051 --> 00:04:14,652
and this is my LA...
100
00:04:17,804 --> 00:04:20,336
Somebody moved this fence.
101
00:04:20,683 --> 00:04:22,607
Where did my land go?
102
00:04:24,022 --> 00:04:25,506
Where did my son go?
103
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:28,211
Hey, Larry, Dick.
104
00:04:28,231 --> 00:04:31,433
So my fence
seems to have moved 4 feet
105
00:04:31,453 --> 00:04:33,642
in the last 24 hours.
Do you know anything about that?
106
00:04:33,662 --> 00:04:35,504
Oh, good. The fence.
107
00:04:35,524 --> 00:04:38,123
I was wondering
what you'd notice first,
108
00:04:38,141 --> 00:04:40,759
the fence or the fact that
I keyed your car.
109
00:04:41,235 --> 00:04:42,551
What the hell, Larry?!
110
00:04:42,571 --> 00:04:44,834
I guess you'll want
to fight me now.
111
00:04:45,132 --> 00:04:46,403
What are you talking about?
112
00:04:46,423 --> 00:04:48,110
Marty, I won't lie.
113
00:04:48,130 --> 00:04:51,464
I'm upset about Reggie
and his newfound relationship
114
00:04:51,484 --> 00:04:53,197
with that Google-eyed
simpleton.
115
00:04:53,217 --> 00:04:54,715
Okay, so you know what?
Why don't we talk about it?
116
00:04:54,735 --> 00:04:56,465
- Don't go...
- No. No. No talk.
117
00:04:56,485 --> 00:04:59,612
No, I've done the research.
Human males are simple.
118
00:04:59,749 --> 00:05:03,122
They mask their emotions through drink, farts,
and physical violence.
119
00:05:03,142 --> 00:05:05,964
The drink didn't take.
We're all out of farts.
120
00:05:05,984 --> 00:05:08,496
I moved your fence
to provoke you.
121
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,121
Fight me, Marty.
122
00:05:10,141 --> 00:05:12,153
Give me respite
to my feelings.
123
00:05:12,173 --> 00:05:14,548
Don't make me spit
in your orange juice.
124
00:05:14,568 --> 00:05:17,377
You spit in my orange juice? How
would I even know you did that?
125
00:05:17,397 --> 00:05:18,402
You didn't.
126
00:05:20,735 --> 00:05:24,282
Finally, a teenager in the need
of romantic guidance,
127
00:05:24,302 --> 00:05:25,951
sittin' in my kitchen.
128
00:05:25,971 --> 00:05:27,422
Ooh, you know what we need?
129
00:05:27,442 --> 00:05:29,415
Some ice cream
and some bathrobes.
130
00:05:29,435 --> 00:05:31,542
I'd rather just tell you
about my problem.
131
00:05:31,562 --> 00:05:34,103
Work with me here, kid.
I need a win.
132
00:05:34,351 --> 00:05:36,759
Ice cream sounds delightful.
133
00:05:38,583 --> 00:05:40,288
Hey, stranger.
134
00:05:40,308 --> 00:05:42,209
I haven't seen you
in a while.
135
00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:44,497
How are things
with gazelle?
136
00:05:44,517 --> 00:05:46,631
- Giselle.
- Right. Gazelle.
137
00:05:46,651 --> 00:05:49,895
All safe out there on
the African plains? No lions?
138
00:05:49,915 --> 00:05:52,030
Giselle is fine, thank you.
139
00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:54,950
Has avoided all lion attacks.
She's very fast.
140
00:05:57,172 --> 00:05:59,969
Things with Giselle are
complicated and confusing.
141
00:05:59,989 --> 00:06:01,867
How are things with Jeremy?
142
00:06:01,887 --> 00:06:04,243
Oh. Uh, complicated
and confusing.
143
00:06:05,099 --> 00:06:06,315
Sometimes he starts
to talk to me,
144
00:06:06,335 --> 00:06:07,904
and I just sort of zone out.
145
00:06:07,924 --> 00:06:11,105
Oh, I totally get
where you're coming from.
146
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:14,311
Totes. I so get it.
147
00:06:15,130 --> 00:06:16,569
Wanna talk?
148
00:06:17,475 --> 00:06:20,391
Reggie, I will
see you around.
149
00:06:22,389 --> 00:06:24,502
Stay focused, Weaver.
150
00:06:24,688 --> 00:06:26,873
So... is Giselle
my girlfriend?
151
00:06:26,893 --> 00:06:30,645
I mean, she is my friend
and she is a girl,
152
00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:32,655
so logically she is
my girl friend.
153
00:06:32,675 --> 00:06:35,063
Reggie, here's my advice.
154
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:37,242
Don't be like every other
teenage boy in the world.
155
00:06:37,262 --> 00:06:38,600
If you like this girl,
156
00:06:38,634 --> 00:06:41,561
let her know that you're not
interested in anyone else.
157
00:06:41,581 --> 00:06:42,921
Commit.
158
00:06:43,281 --> 00:06:44,502
Commit.
159
00:06:44,522 --> 00:06:45,957
Thank you, Debbie Weaver.
160
00:06:45,991 --> 00:06:47,686
I hope our girl talk
satisfied you.
161
00:06:47,706 --> 00:06:49,870
Oh, Reggie, you sweet boy.
162
00:06:49,890 --> 00:06:51,670
If it did, I would not
be about to pound
163
00:06:51,690 --> 00:06:53,390
an entire tank of ice cream.
164
00:06:55,214 --> 00:06:56,354
Okay.
165
00:06:56,789 --> 00:07:00,255
And here we go.
166
00:07:14,035 --> 00:07:17,421
Son, if this is a public
apology, it's not necessary.
167
00:07:17,455 --> 00:07:19,222
You never have to apologize
for abandoning me.
168
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:20,591
I will always be the key
169
00:07:20,625 --> 00:07:22,304
- female figure in your l...
- Hi, Reggie!
170
00:07:22,324 --> 00:07:23,644
Damn it!
171
00:07:24,025 --> 00:07:26,147
I got your message.
What's up?
172
00:07:26,345 --> 00:07:28,248
I have an announcement!
173
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:34,016
You all know my study buddy
Giselle Braxton...
174
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,739
no relation to Toni.
175
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:41,594
Anywho, Giselle, will you please
stand next to me?
176
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:47,206
My friend Debbie Weaver gave me
a little relationship advice this morning.
177
00:07:47,454 --> 00:07:51,472
And she said if you like
someone, you commit to them.
178
00:07:51,995 --> 00:07:54,958
So, Giselle,
I was wondering...
179
00:08:00,570 --> 00:08:01,828
Will you marry me?
180
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:07,856
Yes!
Yes, I'll marry you!
181
00:08:14,448 --> 00:08:15,975
Wonderful!
182
00:08:16,297 --> 00:08:18,047
All right!
183
00:08:31,425 --> 00:08:34,174
Did you hear the good news?
I'm engaged.
184
00:08:34,194 --> 00:08:35,274
Yeah!
185
00:08:35,294 --> 00:08:36,279
Oh, dear.
186
00:08:36,299 --> 00:08:40,533
Listen, Reggie. This is insane.
Why are you doing this?
187
00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:42,786
Three weeks ago, I loved you,
but you didn't even like me.
188
00:08:42,806 --> 00:08:44,735
- And that felt awful.
- I know, but...
189
00:08:44,755 --> 00:08:48,284
Now I like Giselle,
and she actually likes me back.
190
00:08:48,304 --> 00:08:51,729
And who knows when someone might feel that way
about me again, you know?
191
00:08:51,749 --> 00:08:55,017
- Reggie, you don't have to...
- More later. This is my moment!
192
00:08:58,869 --> 00:09:00,872
Jackie, I am so sorry.
193
00:09:00,892 --> 00:09:03,341
I gave what I thought was
rational advice to your son,
194
00:09:03,361 --> 00:09:05,414
and he took a crazy left turn
with it.
195
00:09:05,434 --> 00:09:07,457
You think? You think, Debbie?
196
00:09:07,477 --> 00:09:09,215
I'm so upset.
197
00:09:09,235 --> 00:09:11,995
I'm feeling things
I don't want to feel.
198
00:09:12,015 --> 00:09:14,489
Go take a look
at your tiny yard, Marty.
199
00:09:14,509 --> 00:09:16,946
It's a baby-sized yard now.
200
00:09:16,966 --> 00:09:18,586
Do something about it
with your fists.
201
00:09:18,637 --> 00:09:19,952
I'm not fighting you, Larry.
202
00:09:19,972 --> 00:09:21,789
Please. Rescue me.
203
00:09:21,809 --> 00:09:23,720
Okay, that's it.
I'm just going to go outside
204
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:25,748
and tell Reggie Jackson that
I forbid this marriage.
205
00:09:25,768 --> 00:09:28,118
Ooh. Jackie,
I would not do that.
206
00:09:28,138 --> 00:09:31,720
Hey, mint chocate chol, I think the advice portion
of your afternoon is over.
207
00:09:32,055 --> 00:09:33,921
It was reduced fat.
208
00:09:34,946 --> 00:09:38,016
Jackie, the more you tell kids
what they can't do,
209
00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,488
the more they want
to do them. Trust me.
210
00:09:40,508 --> 00:09:42,555
So I'm just supposed to sit back
and let this happen?
211
00:09:42,575 --> 00:09:43,843
Of course not. No!
212
00:09:43,878 --> 00:09:46,948
No one's gonna let two teenagers
who barely know each other
213
00:09:46,968 --> 00:09:48,623
get married.
214
00:09:48,643 --> 00:09:50,257
In fact...
215
00:09:52,102 --> 00:09:54,961
So the kids have some big news
they want to share with...
216
00:09:54,981 --> 00:09:56,694
we're getting married.
217
00:09:58,084 --> 00:09:59,714
Big news, right?
218
00:09:59,734 --> 00:10:01,327
And here comes the boom.
219
00:10:01,347 --> 00:10:04,437
Listen, kids, why don't you give
the adults a moment?
220
00:10:04,847 --> 00:10:06,552
Let's go look
for engagement rings.
221
00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:08,239
I want 3 carats-plus
on this finger.
222
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:09,815
See Kim Kardashian
for reference.
223
00:10:12,683 --> 00:10:14,338
I know what a shock it is.
224
00:10:14,358 --> 00:10:16,808
We're going to have to
figure out how to handle this.
225
00:10:16,828 --> 00:10:19,066
There is nothing
to figure out.
226
00:10:20,062 --> 00:10:21,573
We're paying for the wedding.
227
00:10:21,593 --> 00:10:23,215
But not until next year.
228
00:10:23,235 --> 00:10:26,285
Luke didn't make baby on me
till I was 17.
229
00:10:26,305 --> 00:10:27,613
Don't worry. Don't worry.
230
00:10:27,633 --> 00:10:30,145
You two can throw an engagement
party as soon as you want.
231
00:10:30,165 --> 00:10:32,651
You don't think she's pregnant, do you?
232
00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:40,079
That did not go
the way I expected it to.
233
00:10:48,243 --> 00:10:49,930
Son of a...
234
00:10:50,463 --> 00:10:52,897
- Larry.
- Let it go, dad.
235
00:10:53,715 --> 00:10:55,406
Marty!
236
00:10:56,001 --> 00:10:59,487
I can't stop thinking about
losing Reggie, Marty.
237
00:10:59,538 --> 00:11:02,123
I've tried every form
of male escapism.
238
00:11:02,174 --> 00:11:03,341
Booze didn't work.
239
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,641
Pornography
just confused me.
240
00:11:05,661 --> 00:11:07,366
Confused you?!
241
00:11:07,386 --> 00:11:09,269
Please, Marty, be a friend!
242
00:11:09,289 --> 00:11:11,627
Let's slap each other around
a little.
243
00:11:11,647 --> 00:11:13,951
Okay, this is getting
ridiculous.
244
00:11:13,969 --> 00:11:16,009
Dad, you do not want
to fight that man.
245
00:11:16,029 --> 00:11:18,373
I'm not gonna fight him,
Max.
246
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,049
Wait a minute.
247
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:22,879
You don't think I can take
queen Elizabeth out there?
248
00:11:25,538 --> 00:11:27,032
I lost my daughter.
I lost my land.
249
00:11:27,052 --> 00:11:29,261
I didn't think
I'd lost my son.
250
00:11:30,844 --> 00:11:33,795
I don't know who's stupider,
you or me for listening to you.
251
00:11:33,815 --> 00:11:35,825
You do not blame me for this,
do you?
252
00:11:35,845 --> 00:11:38,382
"Oh, trust me, Jackie.
I'll take care of it."
253
00:11:38,402 --> 00:11:40,350
Well, you took care of it,
all right.
254
00:11:40,370 --> 00:11:44,255
It is not my fault that everyone I talk to today
is out of their mind.
255
00:11:44,275 --> 00:11:45,930
Will you two stop?
256
00:11:45,950 --> 00:11:48,338
You will not ruin this
for me and the fiancee.
257
00:11:48,358 --> 00:11:51,520
Oh, she is not your fiancee!
I forbid this marriage!
258
00:11:51,540 --> 00:11:52,934
You are to go
to your room until...
259
00:11:52,954 --> 00:11:55,739
- Until when?
- Until she dies.
260
00:11:55,759 --> 00:11:57,422
Smurf you!
261
00:11:59,047 --> 00:12:00,548
Oh, I was afraid
this was gonna happen.
262
00:12:00,568 --> 00:12:03,092
Have you not done enough?
263
00:12:03,112 --> 00:12:04,246
Stop talking!
264
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:07,700
There's not enough ice cream
in the world to fix what you've done!
265
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,966
If only that were true.
266
00:12:11,406 --> 00:12:12,057
Ugh!
267
00:12:12,091 --> 00:12:15,502
Your wife really doesn't know when
to mind her own business, does she? (Laughs)
268
00:12:15,522 --> 00:12:16,966
Easy, Larry.
269
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:18,411
Your wife is easy.
270
00:12:18,431 --> 00:12:20,499
Larry,
you're crossing a line.
271
00:12:20,519 --> 00:12:23,311
Yes. Her panty line.
272
00:12:23,745 --> 00:12:25,847
Okay. I'm gonna walk away
from this.
273
00:12:25,867 --> 00:12:28,411
Oh, like your son recommended
you do?
274
00:12:29,230 --> 00:12:31,288
Oh. Touched a nerve,
have I?
275
00:12:33,528 --> 00:12:35,363
You know what, Larry?
You wanna fight me?
276
00:12:35,383 --> 00:12:36,604
You got it!
277
00:12:36,624 --> 00:12:38,440
You name the time
and you name the place.
278
00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:41,357
Tomorrow! Noon! This street!
279
00:12:41,377 --> 00:12:42,053
Fine!
280
00:12:44,212 --> 00:12:46,110
I can't tell you how much
this means to me.
281
00:12:46,259 --> 00:12:49,175
You're a wonderful friend.
282
00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:56,281
Her panty line.
283
00:13:56,116 --> 00:13:58,305
I was gonna put a coat of wax
on the car later.
284
00:13:58,325 --> 00:14:00,472
Have I told you about
the circle method?
285
00:14:00,869 --> 00:14:02,115
You start with
a tiny circle and...
286
00:14:02,135 --> 00:14:04,714
You have. You have.
287
00:14:05,076 --> 00:14:06,949
It was...
288
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,073
I have a lot of things,
289
00:14:09,093 --> 00:14:13,486
so maybe I could just see your
car tomorrow when it's all waxy.
290
00:14:13,747 --> 00:14:15,005
Well, no,
you rub the wax off and...
291
00:14:15,025 --> 00:14:17,077
No. Don't, um...
292
00:14:17,226 --> 00:14:18,901
ruin the mystery.
293
00:14:22,984 --> 00:14:24,845
- Oh. I'm sorry.
- Oh. I'm sorry.
294
00:14:26,272 --> 00:14:28,246
I believe that's the most
we've ever said to one another.
295
00:14:28,692 --> 00:14:29,578
Yep.
296
00:14:29,598 --> 00:14:32,664
I'm gonna give your father
a massive beatdown in a bit.
297
00:14:33,296 --> 00:14:34,450
Cool.
298
00:14:37,029 --> 00:14:38,308
We have no relationship,
right?
299
00:14:38,328 --> 00:14:39,457
- None.
- One could say that
300
00:14:39,477 --> 00:14:41,956
if I confessed something to you,
it'd have no repercussions.
301
00:14:41,976 --> 00:14:43,644
Kind of like confessing
to a blank wall?
302
00:14:43,664 --> 00:14:45,381
I already forget
what you said, man.
303
00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:46,804
Perfect.
304
00:14:47,114 --> 00:14:48,598
I know I'm...
305
00:14:48,618 --> 00:14:52,676
supposed to act like a man
and have no emotion, but...
306
00:14:52,936 --> 00:14:55,753
I feel like I want to cry
all the time.
307
00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,657
I'm losing Reggie.
308
00:14:58,962 --> 00:15:00,948
You and me both, pal.
309
00:15:03,392 --> 00:15:06,042
This seems like
a higher state of mopiness
310
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:08,696
than your typical
angsty baseline.
311
00:15:08,716 --> 00:15:10,507
What's troubling you?
312
00:15:10,656 --> 00:15:13,200
Blank wall to blank wall,
remember?
313
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:16,712
Aw, hell. I don't know what
I'm doing with Jeremy.
314
00:15:16,732 --> 00:15:18,697
The haircut who won't shut up
about his automobile?
315
00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:20,795
Yeah. He bores the crap
out of me.
316
00:15:20,815 --> 00:15:22,297
- Listen, Audrey...
- Amber.
317
00:15:22,317 --> 00:15:23,327
Right.
318
00:15:23,347 --> 00:15:24,807
Listen, Amber,
319
00:15:25,498 --> 00:15:27,426
I don't think much
about humanity.
320
00:15:27,446 --> 00:15:30,104
You, though,
you I have some hope for.
321
00:15:30,124 --> 00:15:31,581
You can be something.
322
00:15:31,601 --> 00:15:32,829
Maybe.
323
00:15:33,115 --> 00:15:35,187
But you have to challenge
yourself.
324
00:15:35,207 --> 00:15:38,153
Find the person who makes you
feel special, Audrey Weaver.
325
00:15:45,033 --> 00:15:46,775
Since we'll probably
never speak again,
326
00:15:46,795 --> 00:15:48,711
you should probably
find someone else
327
00:15:48,731 --> 00:15:51,301
to talk to about
these things.
328
00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:53,361
And maybe you should, too.
329
00:15:53,672 --> 00:15:55,749
You don't have to fight
to be a man.
330
00:15:55,769 --> 00:15:58,760
Just... be a man, man.
331
00:16:02,747 --> 00:16:04,000
A man-man.
332
00:17:16,408 --> 00:17:18,050
Get in your bathrobe.
333
00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:19,944
We're talking
in five minutes.
334
00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:27,213
Okay, Larry, it's go time.
335
00:17:32,474 --> 00:17:34,566
I don't need to fight anymore.
336
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:38,036
I just need to
emotionally unburden myself.
337
00:17:38,070 --> 00:17:40,950
What?
You called my wife easy.
338
00:17:40,970 --> 00:17:42,889
Well, I was desperate.
339
00:17:42,909 --> 00:17:45,384
Plus, sometimes she is
a little loosey-goosey.
340
00:17:45,404 --> 00:17:47,655
I'm... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
341
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,566
Let's start over.
342
00:17:49,586 --> 00:17:51,584
You're my best friend, Marty.
343
00:17:52,142 --> 00:17:53,530
I don't want to exchange punches
with you.
344
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,540
I want to exchange feelings.
Can we do that?
345
00:17:56,665 --> 00:17:59,122
Can we be better
than other men?
346
00:18:00,884 --> 00:18:03,211
It's driving me crazy
that Amber is dating.
347
00:18:03,231 --> 00:18:04,799
- I know.
- It really is.
348
00:18:04,819 --> 00:18:06,358
I miss my son.
349
00:18:06,581 --> 00:18:09,398
- It's killing me.
- Me, too.
350
00:18:10,614 --> 00:18:12,711
You know, a few years ago,
351
00:18:12,731 --> 00:18:14,581
I was driving home
in the golf cart at night
352
00:18:14,601 --> 00:18:16,393
and I think I might have
ran over someone.
353
00:18:16,413 --> 00:18:18,577
Okay, let's just end it there,
all right?
354
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,568
Do I have to lie like this?
355
00:18:21,588 --> 00:18:23,136
Give me something, dear.
356
00:18:23,156 --> 00:18:24,998
This isn't easy.
357
00:18:25,544 --> 00:18:27,380
I'm jealous of Giselle.
358
00:18:27,570 --> 00:18:30,483
I cannot bear the thought
of losing you.
359
00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:32,423
It happened once
at Garden State Plaza,
360
00:18:32,443 --> 00:18:34,876
and I will not
let it happen again.
361
00:18:35,794 --> 00:18:37,279
Mother...
362
00:18:37,664 --> 00:18:40,771
You found me in Spencer's gifts
that dark day.
363
00:18:40,791 --> 00:18:44,767
And no matter where I go, I'll always be
in the Spencer's gifts of your heart.
364
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,911
You cannot marry
this girl, son.
365
00:18:48,931 --> 00:18:51,752
You don't have to marry
the first girl who likes you.
366
00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:54,681
There'll be lining up around
blocks for you, Reggie Jackson.
367
00:18:55,632 --> 00:18:56,642
They will?
368
00:18:59,677 --> 00:19:02,153
I know I can't marry Giselle,
369
00:19:02,187 --> 00:19:05,700
but I think I want her to be
my girlfriend.
370
00:19:08,139 --> 00:19:10,410
I can deal with that.
371
00:19:12,035 --> 00:19:14,621
Okay. So we're gonna talk.
372
00:19:14,641 --> 00:19:17,272
You're allowed to care
but not allowed to seem like you care.
373
00:19:17,292 --> 00:19:20,033
You got it?
You see my face?
374
00:19:20,053 --> 00:19:22,714
Make your face look
like my face.
375
00:19:24,669 --> 00:19:25,736
I need some birth control
376
00:19:25,756 --> 00:19:27,262
because I'm gonna start
having a lot of sex.
377
00:19:27,282 --> 00:19:29,384
Are you cool with that?
378
00:19:29,834 --> 00:19:31,692
This isn't real, right?
379
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:32,536
You're testing me.
380
00:19:32,556 --> 00:19:34,738
- Because birth control is a really big deal.
- Mom!
381
00:19:34,772 --> 00:19:37,507
Sorry. It's just so hard to turn it off.
382
00:19:39,567 --> 00:19:41,078
It's cool. What else?
383
00:19:44,295 --> 00:19:46,194
I'm breaking up with Jeremy.
384
00:19:46,214 --> 00:19:47,894
He bores the crap out of me.
385
00:19:47,914 --> 00:19:50,787
Oh, honey.
I thought he might.
386
00:19:51,327 --> 00:19:52,696
Are you okay?
387
00:19:52,716 --> 00:19:53,515
I will be.
388
00:20:02,544 --> 00:20:05,366
Good job, mom. You actually
handled that pretty well.
389
00:20:05,386 --> 00:20:07,730
Thanks. It felt right.
390
00:20:08,053 --> 00:20:09,832
So since we're talking,
391
00:20:09,852 --> 00:20:11,776
there is one other thing.
392
00:20:12,384 --> 00:20:13,717
I'm kind of freaking out
about this
393
00:20:13,737 --> 00:20:16,261
because it's... ridiculous,
394
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:19,017
and I don't know if it's
a real thing or just...
395
00:20:19,637 --> 00:20:22,368
I think I might be starting
to have some...
396
00:20:23,025 --> 00:20:24,502
feelings...
397
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:28,010
for the weird alien kid
that lives next door.
398
00:20:29,568 --> 00:20:32,746
I think maybe I like
Reggie Jackson.
399
00:20:33,589 --> 00:20:35,550
Like, like like.
400
00:20:41,382 --> 00:20:44,092
Oh! God, you got me, Amber!
401
00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:46,016
I'm an easy target, right?
402
00:20:46,036 --> 00:20:48,535
- You are. Yeah.
- Oh, man!
403
00:20:48,555 --> 00:20:50,309
I need more ice cream.
404
00:20:51,235 --> 00:20:52,853
Oh, God,
that's all I need,
405
00:20:52,873 --> 00:20:56,563
for my teenager to fall in love
with the alien next door.
406
00:21:10,252 --> 00:21:11,850
- Hey.
- Hey.
407
00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,078
- So...
- So...
408
00:21:13,098 --> 00:21:15,076
So a lot of things
were said today.
409
00:21:15,096 --> 00:21:16,641
Lot of things.
410
00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:19,924
Guess we could, uh,
do it again sometime?
411
00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:21,542
Talk some more?
412
00:21:21,562 --> 00:21:24,665
Yeah.
I think maybe we could.
413
00:21:29,107 --> 00:21:31,255
- It's not gonna work.
- No.
414
00:21:32,474 --> 00:21:34,390
Have a great summer.
415
00:21:34,410 --> 00:21:36,668
Take care, Angie.
416
00:21:36,892 --> 00:21:39,386
www.addic7ed.com
417
00:21:39,436 --> 00:21:43,986
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