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1
00:01:17,067 --> 00:01:20,200
LOUIE:
I waited till everybody was over at Mario's
2
00:01:20,234 --> 00:01:23,868
because I didn't want to take
any more razzing over this.
3
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,767
Now, you say this
poison works
4
00:01:25,801 --> 00:01:27,467
on all kinds
of cockroaches
5
00:01:27,501 --> 00:01:29,567
because I got
a monster in there.
6
00:01:29,601 --> 00:01:30,734
A monster.
7
00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:33,267
No insect can survive
this poison.
8
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,934
Respect your foe.
9
00:01:35,968 --> 00:01:38,901
We're not talking
about just any insect.
10
00:01:38,934 --> 00:01:42,567
This is the biggest
cockroach in the world.
11
00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:45,100
I'm telling you, he
barks at the mailman.
12
00:01:45,133 --> 00:01:48,334
Don't worry about it, Mac.
13
00:01:48,367 --> 00:01:49,501
I'll get him.
14
00:01:49,534 --> 00:01:50,701
Take no prisoners.
15
00:01:50,734 --> 00:01:52,234
Right.
16
00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:55,133
Describe to me again
what this stuff does to him.
17
00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:56,567
Well, it, uh,
18
00:01:56,601 --> 00:01:59,501
paralyzes the central
nervous system,
19
00:01:59,534 --> 00:02:01,801
blocking
and then causing cessation
20
00:02:01,834 --> 00:02:03,868
of all
the metabolic functions.
21
00:02:03,901 --> 00:02:06,167
At least,
that's what the can says.
22
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,701
As long as I can see his little
feelers twitching in the air,
23
00:02:11,734 --> 00:02:13,934
I don't care how you do it.
24
00:02:20,601 --> 00:02:21,734
Oh...
25
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:24,067
( speaking
native language )
26
00:02:24,100 --> 00:02:25,400
Excuse me,
Latka?
27
00:02:25,434 --> 00:02:26,567
I said, oh...
28
00:02:26,601 --> 00:02:28,534
( speaking native
language )
29
00:02:28,567 --> 00:02:30,834
Is something
wrong, Latka?
30
00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:33,601
I enjoy watching her.
31
00:02:33,634 --> 00:02:36,701
ALEX:
Oh, yes, she's very enjoyable.
32
00:02:36,734 --> 00:02:38,834
Yeah, she has been
in here before.
33
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:41,868
Each time she gets more
beautiful than the last.
34
00:02:41,901 --> 00:02:44,167
Look at the way
she sits on the stool
35
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:45,434
like a princess.
36
00:02:45,467 --> 00:02:46,634
ELAINE:
Oh...
37
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:47,634
You got a little
crush on her,
38
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:48,634
don't you, Latka?
39
00:02:48,667 --> 00:02:50,300
Why didn't
you tell us, huh?
40
00:02:50,334 --> 00:02:52,801
It brings me
too much pain.
41
00:02:52,834 --> 00:02:55,334
She doesn't know
I'm alive.
42
00:02:55,367 --> 00:02:57,133
Can't she tell
you're alive
43
00:02:57,167 --> 00:02:59,634
by the way you move
around and talk and stuff?
44
00:03:04,567 --> 00:03:05,868
Huh?
45
00:03:05,901 --> 00:03:07,033
Hey, Latka,
46
00:03:07,067 --> 00:03:09,234
just go over there
and introduce yourself.
47
00:03:09,267 --> 00:03:10,901
Say hi, she may
like your style.
48
00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:12,400
No, I could not
do that.
49
00:03:12,434 --> 00:03:14,100
Why not, Latka?
Why not?
50
00:03:14,133 --> 00:03:15,734
Well, how do
I say this?
51
00:03:15,767 --> 00:03:18,434
You see, I do not have
too much success
52
00:03:18,467 --> 00:03:20,100
with American women.
53
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,334
You see,
the men from my country
54
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:24,100
are not,
for some reason,
55
00:03:24,133 --> 00:03:26,901
attractive to the women
in your country.
56
00:03:26,934 --> 00:03:29,067
We do not,
as a matter of fact,
57
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:32,234
have much luck
with the women in my country.
58
00:03:33,767 --> 00:03:35,167
Latka, if I were you,
59
00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:37,467
I'd go over there
and say hello.
60
00:03:37,501 --> 00:03:38,801
Bobby, if I were you,
61
00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:40,801
I would go over
and say hello.
62
00:03:40,834 --> 00:03:42,534
But, unfortunately,
I am me.
63
00:03:42,567 --> 00:03:45,734
Oh, what kind of
attitude is that, Latka?
64
00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:47,734
Come on, you are
an attractive person
65
00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:49,234
with a lot to offer.
66
00:03:49,267 --> 00:03:50,434
Remember that.
Yeah.
67
00:03:50,467 --> 00:03:53,601
( all talking at once )
68
00:03:53,634 --> 00:03:55,567
By golly,
I will do it.
69
00:03:55,601 --> 00:03:56,801
ALL:
All right.
70
00:03:56,834 --> 00:03:58,734
Tomorrow.
71
00:03:58,767 --> 00:04:00,767
( all groan )
72
00:04:00,801 --> 00:04:03,100
Tomorrow,
first thing, I promise.
73
00:04:03,133 --> 00:04:05,300
BOBBY:
Latka, there is no time like the present.
74
00:04:05,334 --> 00:04:06,767
No, wait.
Come on.
75
00:04:06,801 --> 00:04:08,534
ALEX:
Wait, wait, guys, guys!
76
00:04:08,567 --> 00:04:10,100
Come on,
don't force him.
77
00:04:10,133 --> 00:04:11,934
Let him make up
his own mind.
78
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:13,601
Alex.
What?
79
00:04:13,634 --> 00:04:14,834
Mind your
own business. Mind my own business.
80
00:04:14,868 --> 00:04:16,067
Come on, guys.
81
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:17,701
Okay, now, you're going
to do fine, Latka.
82
00:04:17,734 --> 00:04:18,734
Shh.
83
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:44,501
Hello, I am Latka Gravas.
84
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:45,868
You're what?
85
00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:52,067
Hello, I am Latka Gravas.
86
00:04:52,100 --> 00:04:54,701
That is my name--
87
00:04:54,734 --> 00:04:57,100
Latka Gravas.
88
00:04:57,133 --> 00:04:59,834
I think you are
very pretty American woman.
89
00:04:59,868 --> 00:05:01,334
Oh, well, thank you.
90
00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:05,033
Maybe could I please
have a drink with you?
91
00:05:05,067 --> 00:05:07,033
Or food?
92
00:05:07,067 --> 00:05:08,701
Or... or even gum?
93
00:05:08,734 --> 00:05:09,901
Bubble gum?
94
00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,834
I'm really not interested.
95
00:05:12,868 --> 00:05:14,100
Thank you.
96
00:05:14,133 --> 00:05:16,901
Then I guess it will
not be necessary for us
97
00:05:16,934 --> 00:05:19,334
to look for a house
over the weekend.
98
00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:22,000
Yeah.
99
00:05:22,033 --> 00:05:24,067
Okay.
100
00:05:24,100 --> 00:05:25,667
Well, bye-bye.
101
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,434
It was nice meeting you.
102
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:34,934
Boy, it sure is
a long walk back.
103
00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:38,400
ELAINE:
Sorry, Latka.
104
00:05:38,434 --> 00:05:39,634
BOBBY:
She shot you down, huh?
105
00:05:39,667 --> 00:05:41,033
Yeah, she shot me down.
106
00:05:41,067 --> 00:05:43,400
BOBBY:
Ah, she didn't even give you a chance.
107
00:05:43,434 --> 00:05:44,567
That stinks.
108
00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:46,167
It's all right,
I forgive her.
109
00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,367
Yeah, well, I don't.
110
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,534
There's such a thing as
sensitivity to other people.
111
00:05:49,567 --> 00:05:50,834
I think I'm gonna
go over there
112
00:05:50,868 --> 00:05:52,067
and tell
Miss High-and-Mighty
113
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:53,400
where to get off.
114
00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:54,567
Hey, wait a minute, Bob.
115
00:05:54,601 --> 00:05:55,734
Let it go, will you?
Alex, it's okay,
116
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:57,767
I'm not going
to make a scene.
117
00:05:57,801 --> 00:06:00,434
It's just I can't
let this thing rest.
118
00:06:00,467 --> 00:06:01,534
You know, Latka,
119
00:06:01,567 --> 00:06:03,400
I bet it has nothing
to do with you.
120
00:06:03,434 --> 00:06:05,868
You know, I bet that
she's committed somewhere.
121
00:06:05,901 --> 00:06:07,701
You know, she's
engaged or married,
122
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:09,501
or, you know,
living with someone.
123
00:06:10,534 --> 00:06:11,834
Okay.
124
00:06:11,868 --> 00:06:13,834
( chuckles )
125
00:06:13,868 --> 00:06:15,400
She needs a cab.
126
00:06:15,434 --> 00:06:17,000
Yeah, I-I'm just
going to give her
127
00:06:17,033 --> 00:06:19,434
a ride home, professionally,
and talk about Latka
128
00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:20,767
all the way.
Hey, now...
129
00:06:20,801 --> 00:06:22,000
Alex, what can I do?
130
00:06:22,033 --> 00:06:23,334
She needs a cab, huh?
131
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:24,968
Hey, Latka, if it bothers you,
132
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,567
listen, I'll forget
about it right now.
133
00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:28,567
Oh, no, you don't
worry about it, Bobby.
134
00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:31,234
You just go and have a wonderful
time with the woman
135
00:06:31,267 --> 00:06:34,534
who makes every tissue
in my body scream with desire.
136
00:06:34,567 --> 00:06:36,801
Okay,
thanks a lot, Latka.
137
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:41,100
Boy, what a nice person.
138
00:06:42,934 --> 00:06:44,501
Ooh, look at this.
139
00:06:44,534 --> 00:06:46,534
Get a load of this one.
140
00:06:46,567 --> 00:06:48,567
Ooh.
141
00:06:48,601 --> 00:06:50,434
Hey, Latka,
what are you doing,
142
00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:52,000
reading Playboy magazine?
143
00:06:52,033 --> 00:06:53,968
Oh, yes,
I am studying it, Alex.
144
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,901
I want to be
up front with you.
145
00:06:55,934 --> 00:06:58,601
I want to be
an American fun guy
146
00:06:58,634 --> 00:07:01,000
taking each day in high gear.
147
00:07:01,033 --> 00:07:03,300
Did I say that right?
148
00:07:03,334 --> 00:07:04,801
I hope not.
149
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:06,767
Well, what's
the point?
150
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:08,968
Well, the point is
151
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,033
that I am sick
of you all calling me
152
00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:14,267
a cute, little foreigner.
153
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,501
We don't call you a
cute little foreigner.
154
00:07:16,534 --> 00:07:18,801
Well, maybe not to my face,
but behind my back.
155
00:07:18,834 --> 00:07:21,100
Uh-uh, we don't call you that
behind your back.
156
00:07:21,133 --> 00:07:24,100
Well, maybe you don't say it
out loud, but you think it.
157
00:07:24,133 --> 00:07:25,634
We don't even think it.
158
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:27,167
Oh, yeah?
159
00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:30,868
Well, how about the time
Tony said his uncle was broke,
160
00:07:30,901 --> 00:07:34,133
and I said, "Well, why doesn't
he go to the doctor?"
161
00:07:34,167 --> 00:07:35,367
Yeah, that was kind of cute.
162
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,701
See, "cute" again.
163
00:07:36,734 --> 00:07:38,067
Everything always cute.
164
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:40,567
I am sick of being cute.
When will it end?
165
00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:42,601
But Latka, I don't see how
reading a bunch of magazines
166
00:07:42,634 --> 00:07:44,334
is going to make you
more sophisticated?
167
00:07:44,367 --> 00:07:47,934
Well, Alex, I am not
only going to read it,
168
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:51,801
I am going to take a vacation
from the garage,
169
00:07:51,834 --> 00:07:54,367
I am going
to lock myself in,
170
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:56,133
every spare minute,
171
00:07:56,167 --> 00:07:59,334
I am going
to study this Playboy.
172
00:07:59,367 --> 00:08:01,167
Mm-hmm.
173
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:04,734
And I have a tape
of an F.M. D.J.
174
00:08:04,767 --> 00:08:08,634
I am going to learn
to talk like him
175
00:08:08,667 --> 00:08:12,167
so that
when women hear my voice,
176
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,567
they will just relax.
177
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,167
See, I will do it
178
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:20,067
even if it takes me eight days.
179
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,701
Look, here it is.
180
00:08:22,734 --> 00:08:25,067
I have it marked.
181
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:29,400
I am going to...
"alter my lifestyle
182
00:08:29,434 --> 00:08:32,400
to fit the fast lane."
183
00:08:33,868 --> 00:08:35,534
Huh?
184
00:08:35,567 --> 00:08:41,767
( voice deepens ):
"Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane."
185
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:48,767
( voice deepens ):
"Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane."
186
00:08:48,801 --> 00:08:53,400
( voice deepens ):
"Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane."
187
00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:59,601
( accent lessens ):
"Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast lane."
188
00:09:04,601 --> 00:09:07,801
( without accent ):
"Alter my lifestyle to fit the fast...
189
00:09:07,834 --> 00:09:09,567
( normal voice ):
...lane." Whoop!
190
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,801
There, that ought
to do it.
191
00:09:20,834 --> 00:09:22,434
Now... now,
how soon is it safe
192
00:09:22,467 --> 00:09:23,868
to go back in there?
193
00:09:23,901 --> 00:09:26,133
Well, that depends on
your system, you know.
194
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:29,167
Some people, they go in there
the first day, they get sick.
195
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,000
Other people
might get a headache.
196
00:09:31,033 --> 00:09:33,968
Me, I like it.
197
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000
All right.
198
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:40,467
Thanks, pal.
199
00:09:44,267 --> 00:09:45,567
Ha!
200
00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:48,067
It's great
to have the cage back.
201
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:49,400
All right.
202
00:09:49,434 --> 00:09:52,501
It's worth every penny
for the piece of mind.
203
00:09:52,534 --> 00:09:54,100
Come on in here, Jeff.
204
00:09:55,100 --> 00:09:56,934
I'm starving.
205
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,100
Sandwich.
206
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:05,234
Mustard.
207
00:10:05,267 --> 00:10:07,234
* No bugs allowed
208
00:10:07,267 --> 00:10:10,067
* No bugs allowed
209
00:10:10,100 --> 00:10:13,267
* No bugs allowed.
210
00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:20,934
Jeff...
211
00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:27,434
( talking indistinctly )
212
00:10:27,467 --> 00:10:28,601
It's Karen.
213
00:10:28,634 --> 00:10:30,334
The princess
is honoring us
214
00:10:30,367 --> 00:10:31,467
with her
presence.
215
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:33,000
I bet you
she's insulted
216
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,934
we're not groveling
at her feet.
217
00:10:36,968 --> 00:10:38,234
Oh, you're
handling rejection
218
00:10:38,267 --> 00:10:41,501
so much better
than you used to, Bobby.
219
00:10:41,534 --> 00:10:42,701
TONY:
Hey, guys. Hey, guys.
220
00:10:42,734 --> 00:10:44,133
Latka's back
from his vacation.
221
00:10:44,167 --> 00:10:45,467
He's on his way
in right now.
222
00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:46,734
I got to pick a good spot
223
00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:48,901
so I can see all your faces
when you first see him.
224
00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:50,934
I got it. Go ahead.
225
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:05,167
ELAINE:
Oh, my God.
226
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,067
What did
I tell you?
227
00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:08,601
ALEX:
Latka?
228
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:15,701
( without accent ):
Hey, I love you guys, you're beautiful.
229
00:11:15,734 --> 00:11:17,067
( clicks tongue )
230
00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:23,968
Hey, Tommy,
making any money?
231
00:11:25,033 --> 00:11:26,300
Latka?
232
00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:28,634
What kind of
imported beer you got?
233
00:11:30,467 --> 00:11:31,501
Schlitz.
234
00:11:32,968 --> 00:11:34,267
Schlitz.
235
00:11:34,300 --> 00:11:36,300
I love you, Tommy,
you're a mug.
236
00:11:36,334 --> 00:11:38,234
Give me one of those.
237
00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:43,968
Thanks.
238
00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:18,067
I can take one look at you
239
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:21,567
and tell that you've heard
every phony line in the book...
240
00:12:21,601 --> 00:12:24,501
so one more isn't going
to hurt you, right?
241
00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:25,934
( laughing )
242
00:12:25,968 --> 00:12:29,234
( laughing )
243
00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:30,734
She's laughing.
244
00:12:31,767 --> 00:12:33,767
Ah...
245
00:12:33,801 --> 00:12:35,067
but seriously now.
246
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:37,100
The first few moments
of a relationship
247
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,834
set the tone
for the whole thing,
248
00:12:38,868 --> 00:12:40,167
if you know what I mean,
249
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,033
so let's be honest.
250
00:12:42,067 --> 00:12:43,534
My name is Vic.
251
00:12:44,567 --> 00:12:47,067
I'm into Italian cars,
Technics stereos,
252
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,133
Australian films
and beautiful ladies.
253
00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:53,434
If you're interested,
let's talk.
254
00:12:53,467 --> 00:12:55,901
If not, it's been fun.
255
00:12:55,934 --> 00:12:57,200
Vic, huh?
256
00:12:57,234 --> 00:12:58,734
No, not "Vic, huh?"--
257
00:12:58,767 --> 00:13:00,167
Vic Ferrari.
258
00:13:04,567 --> 00:13:06,067
Vic Ferrari?
259
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:08,000
That isn't your
real name, is it?
260
00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:09,200
Why don't you tell me
261
00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:11,167
after you see how I perform
on a tight corner.
262
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,200
( laughing )
263
00:13:12,234 --> 00:13:14,033
Terrible humor, Vic,
264
00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:16,434
but I love that smile.
265
00:13:16,467 --> 00:13:20,300
Come on, walk with me,
talk with me.
266
00:13:25,601 --> 00:13:27,767
Are you seeing
what I'm seeing?
267
00:13:27,801 --> 00:13:29,767
It's like Dr. Jekyll
and Mr. Hekyll.
268
00:13:29,801 --> 00:13:31,901
Latka.
269
00:13:31,934 --> 00:13:35,067
Excuse me, I think these
people have mistaken me
270
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,234
for someone else.
271
00:13:36,267 --> 00:13:37,534
I'm a dime a dozen.
272
00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:41,367
Don't you believe it.
273
00:13:42,367 --> 00:13:43,734
Be right back.
274
00:13:43,767 --> 00:13:45,467
All right,
Latka, way to go.
275
00:13:45,501 --> 00:13:46,701
You got her, buddy.
276
00:13:46,734 --> 00:13:48,868
Hey, she's a woman, not a prize.
277
00:13:48,901 --> 00:13:50,200
Hey, I love you guys,
278
00:13:50,234 --> 00:13:52,968
but I don't like your
"keeping score" attitude.
279
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,534
Latka, she can't
hear you now.
280
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,000
You can drop the act.
281
00:13:56,033 --> 00:13:57,234
The act?
282
00:13:57,267 --> 00:13:58,734
Hey, man, you got it backwards.
283
00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:00,133
I dropped my act.
284
00:14:00,167 --> 00:14:02,667
You guys could stand
to do the same thing.
285
00:14:02,701 --> 00:14:04,934
Hey, Elaine.
286
00:14:04,968 --> 00:14:08,133
You're looking dynamite tonight.
287
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,567
Corny, but sincere.
288
00:14:13,601 --> 00:14:15,234
( laughing )
289
00:14:15,267 --> 00:14:17,734
( clicks tongue )
Gotcha.
290
00:14:19,901 --> 00:14:21,701
Come on, let's go, honey.
291
00:14:21,734 --> 00:14:24,300
Poor, Latka.
292
00:14:24,334 --> 00:14:25,567
What do you mean, Jim?
293
00:14:25,601 --> 00:14:30,133
Everybody's beating time
with his woman.
294
00:14:30,167 --> 00:14:32,567
First Bobby,
and now that jerk.
295
00:14:48,467 --> 00:14:49,634
Latka!
296
00:14:51,133 --> 00:14:52,300
Latka!
297
00:14:55,801 --> 00:14:57,133
Latka!
298
00:14:58,734 --> 00:15:00,067
Latka!
299
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,367
( growling )
300
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,667
( yells )
301
00:15:04,701 --> 00:15:08,901
( as Vic Ferrari ):
Hey, man, what is your problem?
302
00:15:13,734 --> 00:15:16,534
I don't like people playing
music in this garage.
303
00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,133
Well,
I don't like this authority trip
304
00:15:18,167 --> 00:15:19,667
that you're always
laying on me, man.
305
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,934
Hey, you just wasted
Elvis Costello.
306
00:15:24,434 --> 00:15:26,534
Latka, you're getting
weirder every day.
307
00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:28,434
Now, I don't want
to have to fire you
308
00:15:28,467 --> 00:15:30,567
for this, because...
309
00:15:30,601 --> 00:15:34,067
I don't want to
have to fire you...
310
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,501
I was hoping
to fire you just for no reason.
311
00:15:37,534 --> 00:15:39,200
Look, you
better wise up.
312
00:15:39,234 --> 00:15:41,734
Knock it off.
313
00:15:41,767 --> 00:15:44,367
And try wearing
some decent clothes to work.
314
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,300
You look like a foreign banana.
315
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:54,100
Well...
316
00:15:54,133 --> 00:15:56,601
time for
my sparkling water break.
317
00:15:56,634 --> 00:15:57,968
Anybody want some?
318
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,868
He's not coming
out of this.
319
00:16:01,901 --> 00:16:03,300
If anything,
it's getting worse.
320
00:16:03,334 --> 00:16:04,834
It's been going
on for a week now,
321
00:16:04,868 --> 00:16:06,167
night and day.
322
00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,501
Maybe somebody
should talk to him.
323
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:08,801
Hey, I tried.
324
00:16:08,834 --> 00:16:11,934
He just keeps telling me
I'm one dynamite lady.
325
00:16:11,968 --> 00:16:14,801
I keep telling him
that's beside the point.
326
00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:16,701
( mumbling and phone ringing )
327
00:16:16,734 --> 00:16:18,534
...get an answering service.
328
00:16:18,567 --> 00:16:19,868
Hello.
329
00:16:19,901 --> 00:16:21,067
Yeah, Vic's here.
330
00:16:21,100 --> 00:16:22,300
Hold on a second.
331
00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:25,067
Hey, Latka,
it's Karen for you.
332
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:27,300
I'm not here.
333
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:30,534
Latka, it's the girl
you're crazy about, remember?
334
00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:35,000
Hey, I am out man, read my lips.
335
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:43,367
Uh, yeah,
no, he's not here.
336
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,834
Yeah, okay, sure.
337
00:16:44,868 --> 00:16:47,467
I'll tell him
you called. Bye.
338
00:16:50,934 --> 00:16:52,567
Latka, what's going on?
339
00:16:52,601 --> 00:16:54,567
It's over between
her and me.
340
00:16:54,601 --> 00:16:56,367
You see, Karen is
the kind of chick
341
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:57,801
who craves rejection
342
00:16:57,834 --> 00:16:59,701
and goes around
creating it for herself.
343
00:16:59,734 --> 00:17:03,033
So what's a boy to do?
344
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,701
This is too much.
345
00:17:08,734 --> 00:17:11,267
Latka, we got to talk to you.
346
00:17:11,300 --> 00:17:12,667
Hey...
347
00:17:12,701 --> 00:17:15,167
you know I always have time
to talk to you, Elaine.
348
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,734
You're one dynamite lady.
349
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,567
Latka, shut up.
350
00:17:19,601 --> 00:17:22,067
Ooh-hoo, redheads.
351
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,133
I'm glad you feel
352
00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,267
that you can be
so honest with me like that.
353
00:17:26,300 --> 00:17:28,601
Latka, come here
and sit down, okay?
354
00:17:36,100 --> 00:17:37,734
Hey, Latka, Latka,
you're weird.
355
00:17:37,767 --> 00:17:39,200
Hey, we're all coming
356
00:17:39,234 --> 00:17:40,767
from a different direction,
357
00:17:40,801 --> 00:17:43,000
and sometimes
it doesn't get in synch.
358
00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:45,400
Sorry about that,
but you had it coming.
359
00:17:49,133 --> 00:17:51,033
Latka, can't you see
what's going on?
360
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:53,133
Can't you see
what you're doing to yourself?
361
00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:55,534
Yeah, I'm assimilating.
362
00:17:55,567 --> 00:17:57,934
Hey, Latka, why don't
you come off it, huh?
363
00:17:57,968 --> 00:18:00,267
Hey, if I have to be
a cute little guy
364
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:01,901
who strikes out every time
365
00:18:01,934 --> 00:18:04,467
in order to be Mr. Popularity
around here,
366
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:07,400
well then
you can just keep your trophy.
367
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,467
Would you just stop it?
368
00:18:10,501 --> 00:18:11,701
Well, excuse me.
369
00:18:11,734 --> 00:18:14,701
I thought that I had
the right to evolve,
370
00:18:14,734 --> 00:18:17,734
but I'm sensing
a lot of hostility here.
371
00:18:17,767 --> 00:18:21,567
Fortunately,
I got my friend Alex.
372
00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,067
My man, Alex.
373
00:18:27,100 --> 00:18:29,901
With a heart
as big as his schnoz
374
00:18:29,934 --> 00:18:32,834
and a brain
as sharp as his profile.
375
00:18:32,868 --> 00:18:34,334
Yeah, well, I'm
very flattered.
376
00:18:34,367 --> 00:18:35,501
Very flattered.
377
00:18:35,534 --> 00:18:36,667
Hey, man, you understand
378
00:18:36,701 --> 00:18:38,033
what I'm talking about,
don't ya?
379
00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:39,400
Yes, I think I do.
380
00:18:39,434 --> 00:18:40,534
Yeah.
381
00:18:40,567 --> 00:18:42,501
God bless the people.
382
00:18:42,534 --> 00:18:44,200
Adios, kids.
383
00:18:44,234 --> 00:18:45,367
Hey, where you going?
384
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:46,534
Hey, come on back.
385
00:18:46,567 --> 00:18:48,133
Hey, man, don't leave me.
386
00:18:48,167 --> 00:18:49,367
Come on.
I tell ya, Latka,
387
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,567
I've been going back
and forth about this thing,
388
00:18:51,601 --> 00:18:53,868
because I think maybe
you're justified in thinking
389
00:18:53,901 --> 00:18:56,033
that there was
a patronizing element
390
00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:58,601
in the way people used
to treat the old Latka.
391
00:18:58,634 --> 00:19:00,834
But the thing that keeps
coming through to me is
392
00:19:00,868 --> 00:19:02,133
I like that old Latka,
393
00:19:02,167 --> 00:19:04,834
and I don't like you.
394
00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:14,400
Ooh, hard to get happy
after that one.
395
00:19:22,234 --> 00:19:24,167
( knocking on door )
396
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,501
Hey, Alex,
397
00:19:34,534 --> 00:19:36,167
I think we've got some
head-butting to do.
398
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,000
You dropped a real load
of guano on me today,
399
00:19:38,033 --> 00:19:39,667
and I think we should
get out our shovels
400
00:19:39,701 --> 00:19:41,067
and see if we can...
401
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,334
( knocking on door )
402
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:51,234
( knocking continues )
403
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,834
Please, don't slam
the door on me again,
404
00:19:55,868 --> 00:19:57,367
because I don't think
I could take that.
405
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:58,834
I really want to talk to you.
406
00:19:58,868 --> 00:20:00,801
What do you have to say
you haven't said already?
407
00:20:05,567 --> 00:20:07,534
I cry at night.
408
00:20:08,701 --> 00:20:10,801
Alex, please help me,
you've got to help me.
409
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,000
I don't know what to do.
410
00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:13,367
I'm stuck inside of here.
I don't like this guy.
411
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:14,534
I don't remember
how I got in. No, no, no.
412
00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:15,801
I'll help you, I'll help you,
I'll help you.
413
00:20:15,834 --> 00:20:17,667
Listen, just sit down.
Just sit down.
414
00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:19,100
I don't like
the fast lane.
415
00:20:19,133 --> 00:20:21,200
Well, I understand that.
416
00:20:21,234 --> 00:20:22,801
Well, can't you just stop it?
417
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:24,400
I mean, be the guy
you used to be.
418
00:20:24,434 --> 00:20:26,033
Talk like you used to talk.
419
00:20:26,067 --> 00:20:27,767
I don't remember
how I used to talk.
420
00:20:27,801 --> 00:20:29,267
You don't remember?
421
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,701
Think.
422
00:20:30,734 --> 00:20:33,367
I... I remember
I was a cute little guy.
423
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,701
I had some kind of an accent.
424
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:37,234
But I've worked at it so hard
425
00:20:37,267 --> 00:20:38,934
I've been doing it for so long,
426
00:20:38,968 --> 00:20:41,534
I just don't remember
what I used to sound like.
427
00:20:41,567 --> 00:20:43,100
Well, not much different
than you do now.
428
00:20:44,801 --> 00:20:45,934
You remember?
429
00:20:45,968 --> 00:20:47,267
Latka Gravas.
430
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:50,133
( higher voice ):
Latka Gravas, Ibeda.
431
00:20:51,801 --> 00:20:53,000
Yeah.
432
00:20:53,033 --> 00:20:57,767
Yeah, I do remember
"Latka Gravas, Ibeda."
433
00:20:57,801 --> 00:20:59,834
I'll try it.
434
00:20:59,868 --> 00:21:03,434
Okay, Latka Gravas.
435
00:21:08,267 --> 00:21:10,334
Ibeda.
436
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:14,501
Oh, it's no use, Alex,
I can't cut it.
437
00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:16,167
I can't, I went too far.
438
00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:18,667
I don't remember
what I sounded like.
439
00:21:18,701 --> 00:21:21,734
I can't sound like him anymore
so this is it.
440
00:21:21,767 --> 00:21:24,367
From here on in, the highway's
full of honky-tonks
441
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,400
and one-nighters and no place
to go when the bars close.
442
00:21:27,434 --> 00:21:28,734
No, no, no, no, no.
443
00:21:28,767 --> 00:21:29,968
No, it doesn't
have to be that way.
444
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,801
Oh, come on, cadet,
stop the snowfall.
445
00:21:31,834 --> 00:21:33,367
I can take the truth.
446
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:35,901
Latka, Latka, just calm down.
447
00:21:35,934 --> 00:21:37,901
Don't try so hard.
448
00:21:37,934 --> 00:21:40,067
I mean, just trust
that Latka's in there,
449
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:41,534
that he'll come out.
450
00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:42,534
Just trust it
and relax.
451
00:21:42,567 --> 00:21:43,634
No way, buddy boy.
452
00:21:43,667 --> 00:21:45,601
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
453
00:21:45,634 --> 00:21:47,868
Now, remember, Latka
was a kind of quiet guy.
454
00:21:47,901 --> 00:21:49,100
Trust me.
455
00:21:49,133 --> 00:21:51,767
Just be quiet, just relax, okay?
456
00:21:51,801 --> 00:21:52,968
Mm-hmm.
Think.
457
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,667
He's in there somewhere?
458
00:21:54,701 --> 00:21:55,968
Right.
459
00:21:58,834 --> 00:22:01,234
Come on, Latka.
460
00:22:01,267 --> 00:22:02,968
Come on out, Latka.
461
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,968
I know you're in there
somewhere.
462
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,267
Okay, okay, I'm sorry.
463
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:13,601
All right.
464
00:22:34,534 --> 00:22:36,267
Latka.
465
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:37,334
Yes, yes, yes.
466
00:22:37,367 --> 00:22:38,267
Good, good, good.
467
00:22:39,267 --> 00:22:41,234
Right, right, right,
right, right.
468
00:22:41,267 --> 00:22:43,234
You got it.
469
00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:44,634
( as Latka ):
Alex? Yes, Latka.
470
00:22:44,667 --> 00:22:46,534
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
471
00:22:46,567 --> 00:22:48,200
Oh, there's so much
I want to tell you
472
00:22:48,234 --> 00:22:50,200
that has happened to me
since I last saw you.
473
00:22:50,234 --> 00:22:51,901
Oh, great, I'd love
to hear it, Sit down.
474
00:22:51,934 --> 00:22:54,067
Okay. Well...
475
00:22:54,100 --> 00:22:56,567
( speaking native language )
476
00:22:56,601 --> 00:22:57,901
Oh, yeah.
477
00:22:57,934 --> 00:23:00,501
( speaking native language )
478
00:23:00,534 --> 00:23:02,901
( chuckles ):
Wasn't that silly?
479
00:23:02,934 --> 00:23:04,501
( speaking falsetto )
480
00:23:04,534 --> 00:23:06,033
( laughing )
I remember that.
481
00:23:06,067 --> 00:23:07,234
( speaking
native language ) Yeah?
482
00:23:07,267 --> 00:23:08,701
( speaking native language )
...Playboy.
483
00:23:08,734 --> 00:23:10,067
Oh, yeah.
484
00:23:10,100 --> 00:23:12,434
I'll get us a couple of beers--
I'm listening.
485
00:23:12,467 --> 00:23:14,534
( speaking native language
as Vic Ferrari )
486
00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:16,033
( laughing )
487
00:23:16,067 --> 00:23:20,367
( speaking native language
as Latka )
488
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,567
Yeah, well, you know,
that was another time.
489
00:23:22,601 --> 00:23:24,167
( speaking native language )
Oh, well...
490
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:26,067
( speaking native language )
...don't like you.
491
00:23:26,100 --> 00:23:28,467
( shouting in native language )
Well, I'm sorry about that.
492
00:23:28,501 --> 00:23:30,033
Guano, guano...
( speaking native language )
493
00:23:30,067 --> 00:23:32,033
Yeah, well,
yeah, here.
494
00:23:32,067 --> 00:23:33,868
( speaking native language )
495
00:23:33,901 --> 00:23:36,067
( laughs )
496
00:23:36,100 --> 00:23:36,868
Then...
497
00:23:36,901 --> 00:23:38,567
Thank you very much.
498
00:23:38,601 --> 00:23:41,067
( speaking
native language )
499
00:23:41,100 --> 00:23:43,067
So go ahead, tell me
more, tell me more.
500
00:23:43,100 --> 00:23:44,567
Well, that's it.
Oh...
501
00:23:44,601 --> 00:23:47,067
Then here I am,
and here you are.
502
00:23:47,100 --> 00:23:49,100
Well, it's nice to
have you back, Latka.
503
00:23:49,133 --> 00:23:50,667
( as Vic Ferrari ):
All right.
504
00:23:50,701 --> 00:23:52,400
( as Latka ):
No, no, I'm only fooling.
505
00:23:52,434 --> 00:23:54,467
Where is your
sense of humor?
506
00:24:04,567 --> 00:24:07,033
( theme music playing )
507
00:24:31,567 --> 00:24:33,133
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
508
00:24:33,167 --> 00:24:34,501
( grunts )
509
00:24:34,551 --> 00:24:39,101
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