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1
00:01:21,067 --> 00:01:24,734
Uh, what's the problem?
2
00:01:24,767 --> 00:01:26,634
I can't find
an apartment.
3
00:01:26,667 --> 00:01:28,901
I thought you had an apartment.
4
00:01:28,934 --> 00:01:30,267
No, I lost it.
5
00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:33,934
That happens to me all the time.
6
00:01:34,934 --> 00:01:38,801
Sometimes,
I can't find mine for days.
7
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:43,467
Jim, I told you
all about this yesterday.
8
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:47,100
Jim, remember?
9
00:01:47,133 --> 00:01:48,767
They're turning
Elaine's apartment house
10
00:01:48,801 --> 00:01:50,100
into a co-op.
11
00:01:50,133 --> 00:01:52,434
She can't afford to
buy the apartment
12
00:01:52,467 --> 00:01:55,434
so she has to look
for a new one.
13
00:01:55,467 --> 00:01:56,901
Oh, now I remember.
14
00:01:56,934 --> 00:01:59,968
You did tell me this yesterday.
15
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,467
Hey, good going, Jim.
16
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,467
Did you look
over in Brooklyn?
17
00:02:08,501 --> 00:02:13,667
That's usually
where mine turns up.
18
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,734
Jim, your apartment
is in Brooklyn.
19
00:02:16,767 --> 00:02:18,767
Again?
20
00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:24,834
Hey, come on, Elaine,
worst comes to worst,
21
00:02:24,868 --> 00:02:27,067
you sleep on my couch
for a couple of nights.
22
00:02:27,100 --> 00:02:28,567
Oh, uh, thanks, Alex, but, uh,
23
00:02:28,601 --> 00:02:31,367
I've slept on your couch,
and it's not that comfortable.
24
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,634
When did you ever sleep
on my couch?
25
00:02:33,667 --> 00:02:35,601
The night you showed slides
from your ski trip.
26
00:02:35,634 --> 00:02:37,300
Oh, that is
an uncomfortable couch.
27
00:02:37,334 --> 00:02:40,300
Well, you could sleep
on my couch, Elaine.
28
00:02:40,334 --> 00:02:42,901
Listen, thank you both
for your offers,
29
00:02:42,934 --> 00:02:45,901
but I don't want to
impose on either one of you.
30
00:02:45,934 --> 00:02:48,567
Really, I refuse
to stay with you guys.
31
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:49,901
Hey, Elaine, you
got a boyfriend?
32
00:02:49,934 --> 00:02:51,868
I mean, you and Steve
are still seeing each other, right?
33
00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:53,701
Oh, yeah. We're doing great.
34
00:02:53,734 --> 00:02:55,100
Then why don't you sleep
on his couch.
35
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,400
No, no, Tony.
36
00:02:56,434 --> 00:02:58,701
It's a little too early
in the relationship. You know?
37
00:02:58,734 --> 00:03:00,033
I don't want to scare him off.
38
00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:02,167
You look that bad
in the morning, huh?
39
00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:06,300
Hey, guys, I got it!
I got the job!
40
00:03:06,334 --> 00:03:07,300
All right.
What?!
41
00:03:07,334 --> 00:03:08,667
Yeah, I can't believe it!
42
00:03:08,701 --> 00:03:09,868
A whole month on tour.
43
00:03:09,901 --> 00:03:11,334
Oh, that's great.
Oh, congratulations.
44
00:03:11,367 --> 00:03:12,734
Oh, thanks, Elaine.
45
00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:14,901
You know, this is what
acting is all about--
46
00:03:14,934 --> 00:03:16,367
touring to the people--
47
00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:18,367
people who ordinarily
wouldn't be enriched
48
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:20,701
by the catharsis of the
classical theater experience.
49
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,501
What play
are you doing?
50
00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:24,834
Under the Yum Yum Tree.
51
00:03:24,868 --> 00:03:28,367
I thought that was
Desire Under The Yum Yum Tree.
52
00:03:28,400 --> 00:03:30,400
That's another good one, Ton.
53
00:03:30,434 --> 00:03:31,801
Oh, Bobby,
does this mean
54
00:03:31,834 --> 00:03:33,634
I can have
your apartment?!
55
00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:35,868
Yeah. I told you if I got the
part, you got the apartment.
56
00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:37,534
Oh, great!
A place to stay.
57
00:03:37,567 --> 00:03:39,367
So, Bobby, what are you
gonna do to celebrate?
58
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,133
Rub Louie's nose in it.
59
00:03:43,767 --> 00:03:44,901
Uh, hey, Louie,
60
00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:47,901
I hate to ruin
your day like this,
61
00:03:47,934 --> 00:03:50,901
but I just got
a real good acting job.
62
00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:51,901
Bobby!
63
00:03:51,934 --> 00:03:53,000
Really?
64
00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:56,234
That's wonderful,
that's wonderful!
65
00:03:56,267 --> 00:03:58,367
Hey, I got to announce this.
66
00:03:58,400 --> 00:03:59,868
Wait till everybody hears.
67
00:03:59,901 --> 00:04:02,167
No, Louie,
that's not necessary, really.
68
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,601
Are you kidding?
69
00:04:03,634 --> 00:04:07,367
I insist on telling everybody
how wrong I was about you.
70
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,367
All right, attention here.
71
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,267
Attention, cabbies.
72
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:15,601
All right, you all know
that Bobby Wheeler has taken
73
00:04:15,634 --> 00:04:18,601
a lot of heat from me
in the past
74
00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:20,367
about his acting career.
75
00:04:20,400 --> 00:04:25,367
I just found out
that our Bob has landed the lead
76
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:29,601
in a major New York
Broadway production.
77
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,868
Louie, Louie,
it's not a Broadway play.
78
00:04:34,901 --> 00:04:36,367
It's a tour.
79
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,200
I'm doing a tour.
80
00:04:38,234 --> 00:04:39,868
Oh.
81
00:04:39,901 --> 00:04:41,067
Correction.
82
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:44,767
Bob tells me
it is a starring role
83
00:04:44,801 --> 00:04:48,234
in one of the biggest
cross-country tours
84
00:04:48,267 --> 00:04:51,567
in the history
of the American Theater.
85
00:04:51,601 --> 00:04:53,901
( cheering )
86
00:04:53,934 --> 00:04:56,234
Louie, it's not
a cross-country tour.
87
00:04:56,267 --> 00:04:57,901
It's a small tour.
88
00:04:57,934 --> 00:05:00,334
I'm going to three places,
you know?
89
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:03,267
Oh.
90
00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:05,267
Correction once again.
91
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,901
Bobby's got a teensy part
92
00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:11,901
with a sleazy company
in three trailer parks.
93
00:05:11,934 --> 00:05:15,000
I'm going to kill him,
I'm going to kill him!
94
00:05:20,901 --> 00:05:22,367
I don't know,
Elaine.
95
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,701
Bobby's been gone
about a week,
96
00:05:23,734 --> 00:05:24,868
and you've got
his apartment
97
00:05:24,901 --> 00:05:26,200
looking the best
it's ever looked.
98
00:05:26,234 --> 00:05:27,367
Oh, thanks.
99
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,033
It's this old interior decorator
trick I learned,
100
00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:30,534
called cleaning.
101
00:05:30,567 --> 00:05:32,033
Oh.
102
00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:34,534
Tony.
103
00:05:34,567 --> 00:05:36,567
Stains.
104
00:05:37,634 --> 00:05:40,400
Elaine, the apartment
looks great, fantastic.
105
00:05:40,434 --> 00:05:41,701
Oh, I don't know,
106
00:05:41,734 --> 00:05:43,300
I guess I did
do a little puttering, huh?
107
00:05:43,334 --> 00:05:46,267
Do you think Bobby
will mind?
108
00:05:46,300 --> 00:05:48,267
Why don't you ask him?
109
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,634
Hey, Bobby,
am I glad to see you.
110
00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:51,701
Hey, how you
doing, man?
111
00:05:51,734 --> 00:05:53,400
Eh, it hasn't been
the same without you.
112
00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:54,901
Don't seem like
you been gone a month.
113
00:05:54,934 --> 00:05:56,067
I've been gone a week.
114
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:57,234
That feels right.
115
00:05:57,267 --> 00:05:58,400
Hey, well,
it doesn't matter
116
00:05:58,434 --> 00:05:59,734
that you've only
been gone a week.
117
00:05:59,767 --> 00:06:00,868
The point is,
you're back.
118
00:06:00,901 --> 00:06:02,901
No, the point is,
it's only been a week.
119
00:06:02,934 --> 00:06:06,334
Oh, uh, you know, I got tired
of Florida, you know?
120
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:07,334
( sniffing )
121
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,834
You smell
something funny?
122
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,000
No.
123
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:11,167
Neither do I.
124
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,834
Is this my apartment?
125
00:06:12,868 --> 00:06:15,367
Hey, I want
a glass of wine, too.
126
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,300
Bobby, if you don't want to talk
127
00:06:19,334 --> 00:06:20,834
about
the Florida thing...
128
00:06:20,868 --> 00:06:22,334
Hey, what's to talk about?
129
00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:23,534
I left for a month
and came back
130
00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:24,701
three weeks early,
that's all.
131
00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:26,200
Quit the tour, huh?
132
00:06:26,234 --> 00:06:27,534
Yeah, I quit.
133
00:06:27,567 --> 00:06:28,701
Got fired.
134
00:06:28,734 --> 00:06:30,567
We're talking
semantics here.
135
00:06:30,601 --> 00:06:33,567
It's all a matter of who
says good-bye first, right?
136
00:06:33,601 --> 00:06:35,868
Oh, Bobby.
137
00:06:35,901 --> 00:06:37,434
ALEX:
Why? What happened?
138
00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:39,334
The whole thing
is so unprofessional.
139
00:06:39,367 --> 00:06:41,367
Everybody knows
when you go out
140
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,067
on these long tours, you know,
141
00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:44,767
men and women, close quarters
142
00:06:44,801 --> 00:06:46,334
sometimes
for months,
143
00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:47,868
affairs--
they're inevitable.
144
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:50,367
I had one
with the costume girl.
145
00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:51,534
When?
146
00:06:51,567 --> 00:06:54,834
On the bus ride down to Florida.
147
00:06:54,868 --> 00:06:56,934
You got fired for not waiting
till you got there?
148
00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:02,834
I got fired
because it turns out
149
00:07:02,868 --> 00:07:05,234
that she
was the director's daughter.
150
00:07:05,267 --> 00:07:06,901
Oh.
Oh.
151
00:07:06,934 --> 00:07:09,567
I'm surprised you lasted
a week in Florida.
152
00:07:09,601 --> 00:07:10,968
I lasted a day in Florida--
153
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,067
I spent three days
on the bus ride back.
154
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,267
Meet anyone on that trip?
155
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:15,834
No, that's
all right.
156
00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,334
Will you,
please?
157
00:07:17,367 --> 00:07:19,000
Oh, what the heck.
158
00:07:19,033 --> 00:07:21,000
It happened,
it's over,
159
00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:22,501
and I'm home.
160
00:07:22,534 --> 00:07:24,834
And I'm, uh,
kind of tired, guys,
161
00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:26,234
so, if you don't mind,
you know?
162
00:07:26,267 --> 00:07:27,968
Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah.
We were shoving off anyway.
163
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,167
Come on.
Come on, guys, let's go.
164
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,200
Um, well, Bobby,
165
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,868
uh, there may be
a little problem here.
166
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:35,868
You see, I haven't
found an apartment yet,
167
00:07:35,901 --> 00:07:37,534
and now that
you're back early...
168
00:07:37,567 --> 00:07:38,701
So, we'll just
stay here
169
00:07:38,734 --> 00:07:40,133
together for a
while, that's all.
170
00:07:40,167 --> 00:07:42,701
Hey, you can have
the bedroom,
171
00:07:42,734 --> 00:07:44,033
and I'll sleep
on the sofa.
172
00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:45,200
Oh, well, okay.
173
00:07:45,234 --> 00:07:47,367
I mean, I don't see
why I shouldn't.
174
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,033
ALEX:
You don't?
175
00:07:49,067 --> 00:07:50,200
ELAINE:
No. Do you?
176
00:07:50,234 --> 00:07:51,367
Me? No, I don't.
177
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,367
You, Tony?
178
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:53,534
Hell, yes.
179
00:07:53,567 --> 00:07:56,267
I do, too.
180
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:57,634
Hey, wait a minute.
181
00:07:57,667 --> 00:08:00,334
If you guys are thinking
what I think you're thinking,
182
00:08:00,367 --> 00:08:01,601
you're way off base.
183
00:08:01,634 --> 00:08:02,601
Elaine is a friend of mine.
184
00:08:02,634 --> 00:08:03,601
She needs a place to stay.
185
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:05,868
She'll stay here
and everything will be fine.
186
00:08:05,901 --> 00:08:07,501
Oh, yeah,
sure it will.
187
00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:08,667
Of course it will.
188
00:08:08,701 --> 00:08:10,000
So let's not hear
anymore about it.
189
00:08:10,033 --> 00:08:12,300
Alex, there's something
on your mind.
190
00:08:12,334 --> 00:08:13,300
On my mind?
191
00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:14,300
No, there's nothing
on my mind.
192
00:08:14,334 --> 00:08:15,667
Anything
on your mind, Tony?
193
00:08:15,701 --> 00:08:17,801
Hell, yes.
Mine, too.
194
00:08:17,834 --> 00:08:19,834
Now, listen, guys, I'm starting
to resent this a little.
195
00:08:19,868 --> 00:08:21,334
Huh? Oh, yeah,
you're right.
196
00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,501
I'm sorry.
197
00:08:22,534 --> 00:08:24,367
( chuckles ):
Come on, we're acting crazy.
198
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,501
You're right.
199
00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:27,334
I mean, it's just late at night,
and we're all tired
200
00:08:27,367 --> 00:08:28,501
and this is so sudden,
you know?
201
00:08:28,534 --> 00:08:30,000
Look, Elaine,
why don't you just turn in.
202
00:08:30,033 --> 00:08:31,167
Bobby, you unpack.
203
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,334
Tony, you call the vice squad.
204
00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:33,434
I'm standing watch...
205
00:08:33,467 --> 00:08:35,501
No, I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
206
00:08:35,534 --> 00:08:37,167
It's just a joke.
( laughs )
207
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,868
Come on, Tony.
208
00:08:38,901 --> 00:08:40,200
Hey, Bobby.
Yeah?
209
00:08:40,234 --> 00:08:42,300
You try anything on her,
and I'll kill you.
210
00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:43,634
Tony, come on.
211
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,200
This is Elaine
we're talking about, remember?
212
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,400
Oh, yeah, right.
213
00:08:46,434 --> 00:08:48,033
Elaine, you try
anything on him,
214
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:49,400
and I'll kill you.
215
00:08:49,434 --> 00:08:51,367
ALEX:
Let's go.
216
00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,200
Good night,
you two.
217
00:08:53,234 --> 00:08:54,133
Good night!
218
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,434
Good night.
219
00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:57,534
My gosh.
220
00:08:57,567 --> 00:08:58,701
Could you give me
a hand here?
221
00:08:58,734 --> 00:08:59,868
Yeah, there's
that extra cover.
222
00:08:59,901 --> 00:09:01,801
Oh, man, am I beat.
223
00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:02,868
TONY:
You know, this is Bobby,
224
00:09:02,901 --> 00:09:04,334
and you know
what Bobby's like.
225
00:09:04,367 --> 00:09:05,868
ALEX:
Yeah, I know what he's like,
226
00:09:05,901 --> 00:09:07,234
but what are we
gonna do about it?
227
00:09:07,267 --> 00:09:08,667
I mean, we got to
trust him, right?
228
00:09:08,701 --> 00:09:10,734
Trust him? I know a girl
on a bus who trusted him.
229
00:09:10,767 --> 00:09:12,000
Look what happened.
230
00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:13,400
Eh... you're right.
231
00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:14,501
The man's a hound.
232
00:09:14,534 --> 00:09:17,367
Yeah, anywhere, anytime,
anything with a pulse.
233
00:09:22,567 --> 00:09:24,534
You think
they heard us?
234
00:09:24,567 --> 00:09:26,534
No, I don't
think so.
235
00:09:26,567 --> 00:09:27,534
Do you?
236
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,267
Hell, yes.
Me, too.
237
00:09:46,634 --> 00:09:49,601
I thought she
had an apartment.
238
00:09:49,634 --> 00:09:53,267
Jim, they're turning
her apartment into a co-op.
239
00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:54,501
Remember?
240
00:09:54,534 --> 00:09:56,300
Oh, yeah.
241
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:59,267
So while she looks around,
she's staying with Bobby.
242
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:02,467
Well, that's real nice of Bobby
to put her up like that.
243
00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:04,133
Yeah, sure. Real nice.
244
00:10:04,167 --> 00:10:06,534
I don't trust him
for one minute.
245
00:10:06,567 --> 00:10:10,000
Call me old-fashioned,
but this setup bothers me.
246
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:14,000
Well, times are changing
too fast for me too.
247
00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:17,100
Orgies where anything goes.
248
00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:21,400
People wandering around naked
in public places.
249
00:10:21,434 --> 00:10:25,901
Sex that means no more than
a handshake on the street.
250
00:10:25,934 --> 00:10:27,234
I don't know.
251
00:10:27,267 --> 00:10:30,868
Call me corny,
but I miss those things.
252
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,100
You know, this setup
still bothers me.
253
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:38,467
Tony, will you
come off it?
254
00:10:38,501 --> 00:10:40,234
Now look, there's
nothing going on
255
00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:41,667
between Elaine and Bobby.
256
00:10:41,701 --> 00:10:44,234
Besides, she's stuck on
that guy Steve, right?
257
00:10:44,267 --> 00:10:46,067
And even if she weren't,
Bobby's your best friend.
258
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,100
That's got to count
for something, right?
259
00:10:49,534 --> 00:10:50,567
Hey, guys.
260
00:10:50,601 --> 00:10:51,834
ALEX:
Hey, Bob!
261
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:54,200
You're right,
Alex.
262
00:10:54,234 --> 00:10:55,200
Hey, Bobby,
263
00:10:55,234 --> 00:10:57,200
I got to talk to you.
264
00:10:57,234 --> 00:10:58,234
Yeah, okay.
265
00:10:59,734 --> 00:11:01,100
You know, this thing
with you and Elaine
266
00:11:01,133 --> 00:11:02,133
has really
been bothering me,
267
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:05,100
but if you tell me right now,
as my best friend,
268
00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,567
that there's
nothing going on,
269
00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:07,901
then that's good enough
for me.
270
00:11:07,934 --> 00:11:11,234
Hey, Tony, there's
nothing going on.
271
00:11:11,267 --> 00:11:13,667
How dumb do you think he is,
Wheeler?
272
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,701
I'll show you
how dumb I am, Louie.
273
00:11:18,734 --> 00:11:20,801
I believe you,
Bobby.
274
00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:23,000
Nardo.
275
00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:25,200
You and Wheeler
better be careful.
276
00:11:25,234 --> 00:11:27,367
You'll be hearing
the pitter-patter
277
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,934
of little hams
in the house.
278
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:33,234
How's it going,
Elaine?
279
00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:34,234
Ah, terrific.
280
00:11:34,267 --> 00:11:35,234
Yeah?
281
00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:37,234
Yeah, it's been
a good week.
282
00:11:37,267 --> 00:11:38,734
Yeah, it's been
you know, real nice.
283
00:11:38,767 --> 00:11:40,367
I came home late
from the gallery
284
00:11:40,400 --> 00:11:42,701
last night, you know,
and Bobby was up reading,
285
00:11:42,734 --> 00:11:44,400
so we had a glass
of wine together
286
00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,367
and talked real easily
about some things
287
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,234
I don't think I
could've talked about
288
00:11:48,267 --> 00:11:49,601
with any other man.
289
00:11:49,634 --> 00:11:50,868
Oh, really?
290
00:11:50,901 --> 00:11:52,033
Like what?
291
00:11:52,067 --> 00:11:54,567
Bobby's career,
Bobby's dreams...
292
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:56,133
Bobby.
293
00:11:56,167 --> 00:11:59,167
How did you ever drag
all that out of him?
294
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,033
I think I said,
"How are you?"
295
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:03,200
( telephone rings )
Gotcha.
296
00:12:04,734 --> 00:12:06,767
Hello?
297
00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:10,033
Elaine, it's for you.
298
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:11,734
Steve?
299
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:13,367
Oh, I'll take it.
300
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:16,200
She's going
to talk to you.
301
00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:17,234
Thanks a lot.
302
00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:19,834
Hi, Steve.
303
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:23,467
You know,
in my country,
304
00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:25,734
what Elaine and Bobby
are doing--
305
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,767
it would be fine.
306
00:12:27,801 --> 00:12:31,801
In my country, it is tradition
for a man and woman
307
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:34,734
to live together
before they are married.
308
00:12:36,434 --> 00:12:39,400
And to make love
in every possible way
309
00:12:39,434 --> 00:12:45,100
so then they can see if they
want to get married after that.
310
00:12:45,133 --> 00:12:46,100
Really?
311
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,634
Yeah.
312
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:50,267
Well,
that's a sensible tradition.
313
00:12:50,300 --> 00:12:51,467
Thank you.
314
00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:54,968
Now only if we can get
the women to buy it.
315
00:13:06,100 --> 00:13:07,734
Elaine...
316
00:13:07,767 --> 00:13:10,000
you okay?
317
00:13:10,033 --> 00:13:12,467
Uh, yeah, I think so.
318
00:13:12,501 --> 00:13:13,834
What happened?
319
00:13:13,868 --> 00:13:17,534
Well, uh, Steve called and said,
320
00:13:17,567 --> 00:13:18,868
can we get together for dinner
321
00:13:18,901 --> 00:13:21,367
so he could tell me
something important.
322
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:24,367
And, uh, like an idiot,
I said, "What?"
323
00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,033
He said he didn't want to talk
about it over the phone,
324
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,367
but I kept pressing,
325
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:32,701
so, uh, he told me
that, uh, maybe it's better
326
00:13:32,734 --> 00:13:35,033
if we don't see each other
for a while.
327
00:13:35,067 --> 00:13:37,000
Aw...
328
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,367
Something about more time
and more distance.
329
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,901
Hey, I'll tell you
what let's do.
330
00:13:40,934 --> 00:13:43,534
I'll get the guys together,
and we'll go for some beers,
331
00:13:43,567 --> 00:13:45,868
to some nice place,
and we'll talk about it, okay?
332
00:13:45,901 --> 00:13:49,767
Thanks, Alex, but I think
I'm gonna go home for awhile.
333
00:13:49,801 --> 00:13:51,234
Elaine, I don't think
you ought to be alone
334
00:13:51,267 --> 00:13:52,567
at a time like this.
335
00:13:52,601 --> 00:13:54,067
I mean, not in the mood
that you're in.
336
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,367
Oh, well, I-I won't
exactly be alone.
337
00:13:56,400 --> 00:13:58,167
I mean, Bobby
will be there.
338
00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,234
Oh, yeah, right. Bobby.
339
00:14:01,534 --> 00:14:02,968
Bobby?
340
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,667
Did you...?
341
00:14:04,701 --> 00:14:06,834
Yeah, and, you know,
he can be real sweet
342
00:14:06,868 --> 00:14:09,868
and understanding
at a time like this.
343
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:14,133
Bobby?
344
00:14:15,167 --> 00:14:16,868
Hey, Alex, see you.
345
00:14:16,901 --> 00:14:18,033
Yeah, see you, Bob.
346
00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:19,033
Hey, Bob, wait.
347
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,534
Where you going?
Home.
348
00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:21,868
Home? Why home?
349
00:14:21,901 --> 00:14:23,701
That's where I live.
350
00:14:23,734 --> 00:14:26,033
Oh, yeah, uh, Bob,
come here.
351
00:14:26,067 --> 00:14:27,367
Uh... um, um...
352
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,167
maybe I shouldn't
get involved
353
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,534
in your life
like this,
354
00:14:30,567 --> 00:14:32,334
I mean, I'm the kind
of man that doesn't like
355
00:14:32,367 --> 00:14:34,701
to get involved
in his own life, but, uh...
356
00:14:34,734 --> 00:14:36,234
Steve just called Elaine.
357
00:14:36,267 --> 00:14:38,167
He broke it off with her.
358
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,200
Oh, no.
Yeah.
359
00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:40,267
Oh, poor Elaine.
360
00:14:40,300 --> 00:14:42,000
Yeah, she's feeling very bad.
361
00:14:42,033 --> 00:14:45,267
Look, she just said she wanted
to go home and be by herself.
362
00:14:45,300 --> 00:14:46,968
Well, if you're going
to go home,
363
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,767
that means you're
both going to be home--
364
00:14:48,801 --> 00:14:50,667
alone... together...
365
00:14:50,701 --> 00:14:53,067
for awhile.
366
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,601
So what?
367
00:14:54,634 --> 00:14:56,234
No, no, Bob, Bob, look,
368
00:14:56,267 --> 00:14:57,968
I mean, she's feeling
kind of depressed.
369
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,434
You know, she's very vulnerable.
370
00:14:59,467 --> 00:15:01,634
And, uh, there's no telling
371
00:15:01,667 --> 00:15:03,467
what she might do
in a mood like that.
372
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:06,000
You think
she might come on to me?
373
00:15:06,033 --> 00:15:07,434
Well...
374
00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:08,701
Hey, Alex,
375
00:15:08,734 --> 00:15:10,601
really, thanks for the warning,
376
00:15:10,634 --> 00:15:12,868
and I'll be on my lookout, okay?
377
00:15:22,901 --> 00:15:25,067
Did you hear that?
378
00:15:25,100 --> 00:15:26,367
Of course I heard it.
379
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:28,734
I was the one
he was talking to. Oh.
380
00:15:28,767 --> 00:15:30,734
Elaine's heart is broken.
381
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:31,868
Yeah.
382
00:15:31,901 --> 00:15:34,067
This is terrible.
Yeah.
383
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:37,400
I'm afraid she's going
to try to forget her problems
384
00:15:37,434 --> 00:15:38,734
by losing herself
385
00:15:38,767 --> 00:15:41,400
in a night of shameful
lust and passion
386
00:15:41,434 --> 00:15:43,901
with the first man
to come and cross her path.
387
00:15:43,934 --> 00:15:46,834
You're afraid that's
gonna be Bobby, right?
388
00:15:46,868 --> 00:15:48,634
Well, if not,
389
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:50,968
could you please
give her my phone number?
390
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,300
Bobby?
391
00:16:11,334 --> 00:16:13,067
Uh-oh.
392
00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,634
Elaine, is that you?
393
00:16:15,667 --> 00:16:16,667
Yeah.
394
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,367
I can't sleep.
395
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,000
Is there any more wine?
396
00:16:21,033 --> 00:16:23,501
Wine? Oh, yeah.
397
00:16:23,534 --> 00:16:25,567
There's some more wine.
398
00:16:25,601 --> 00:16:27,534
Did I wake you?
399
00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:29,534
Oh, no,
I was wide awake.
400
00:16:29,567 --> 00:16:31,467
My head's clear as a bell.
401
00:16:31,501 --> 00:16:33,634
I'm not about to do or say
anything foolish.
402
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:35,667
It's cold
in here, huh?
403
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:37,567
You know, Elaine,
you might want
404
00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:39,300
to put a robe or two
405
00:16:39,334 --> 00:16:41,734
over your negligee.
406
00:16:41,767 --> 00:16:43,534
You know, Bobby,
407
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:46,901
this Steve thing
has hit me pretty hard.
408
00:16:46,934 --> 00:16:49,167
Do you think
we could talk about it?
409
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,167
Oh, yeah.
410
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,267
Sure, okay.
411
00:16:56,033 --> 00:16:57,234
Hey, the guy's a jerk.
412
00:16:57,267 --> 00:16:58,767
You're better off without him.
413
00:16:58,801 --> 00:17:00,834
How's that?
414
00:17:00,868 --> 00:17:03,367
Oh, look, Elaine,
I'm sorry.
415
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,701
Listen, the way this
guy handled this thing
416
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:09,534
just proves he's not
the kind of guy
417
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:10,767
who deserves you.
418
00:17:10,801 --> 00:17:14,834
Oh, Bobby.
419
00:17:14,868 --> 00:17:17,100
Oh, that is so sweet.
420
00:17:17,133 --> 00:17:18,801
Oh, God.
421
00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:22,234
Why aren't more guys
like you?
422
00:17:22,267 --> 00:17:25,701
You know, I have this
great bottle of wine
423
00:17:25,734 --> 00:17:27,167
in my suitcase
424
00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,834
that I've been saving
for a special occasion.
425
00:17:29,868 --> 00:17:33,300
I'm going to go get it.
426
00:17:38,901 --> 00:17:42,901
Oh, Bobby,
I'm so glad you're here.
427
00:17:52,734 --> 00:17:54,033
Hello, Alex, it's Bobby.
428
00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,367
She's all over me.
429
00:17:57,767 --> 00:17:59,734
Who were you calling
this late?
430
00:17:59,767 --> 00:18:02,667
Dad. Good old Dad.
431
00:18:02,701 --> 00:18:05,067
I thought your father
passed away.
432
00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:08,701
Well, maybe that will make up
for the times
433
00:18:08,734 --> 00:18:10,334
I didn't call when he was alive?
434
00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:13,734
What's wrong with you?
435
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:16,234
Listen, Elaine.
436
00:18:16,267 --> 00:18:19,934
I really don't think
we should do this.
437
00:18:19,968 --> 00:18:21,100
We shouldn't do what?
438
00:18:21,133 --> 00:18:22,300
What are you talking about?
439
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:26,334
Come on, Elaine, you know
where this is going, huh?
440
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,100
The wine,
the soft lights...
441
00:18:28,133 --> 00:18:30,267
that flimsy
flannel thing.
442
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:32,234
Where this...?
443
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:33,801
Oh, my God.
444
00:18:33,834 --> 00:18:35,601
Bobby, are...?
445
00:18:35,634 --> 00:18:37,934
Oh, this is ridiculous!
446
00:18:37,968 --> 00:18:38,968
Oh, my gosh.
447
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,968
Hey, trust me on this, baby.
448
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,534
You know, I've been around.
449
00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:43,868
I'm a sophisticated guy.
450
00:18:43,901 --> 00:18:45,534
I've had a lot of experience.
451
00:18:45,567 --> 00:18:46,701
And a moment ago,
452
00:18:46,734 --> 00:18:48,334
you and I were on the road
to naughty-naughty.
453
00:18:48,367 --> 00:18:51,834
"The road to naughty-naughty"?
454
00:18:51,868 --> 00:18:53,033
Come on, Elaine.
455
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:54,901
I'm trying to be delicate
about this thing.
456
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,667
You want me to come right out
and say it?
457
00:18:56,701 --> 00:18:58,400
O-Okay.
I'll come right out and say it--
458
00:18:58,434 --> 00:19:00,534
You and I were that far away
from doing foo-foo.
459
00:19:02,834 --> 00:19:05,834
You're making me yearn
for four-letter words.
460
00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:08,000
Bobby!
461
00:19:08,033 --> 00:19:10,167
You are absolutely
and totally wrong.
462
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,667
I mean, you are so wrong,
it's ludicrous.
463
00:19:12,701 --> 00:19:14,000
Elaine, I'm just trying to
do the right thing here.
464
00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:15,000
You know what I mean?
465
00:19:15,033 --> 00:19:16,100
You know,
I don't believe this.
466
00:19:16,133 --> 00:19:17,834
You and I have
the greatest relationship
467
00:19:17,868 --> 00:19:19,200
going on in the last two weeks,
468
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:21,000
and I come to you
for a little friendship
469
00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:22,667
and a little sympathy,
and I get this.
470
00:19:22,701 --> 00:19:24,834
Okay!
471
00:19:24,868 --> 00:19:26,167
Okay, maybe I was wrong.
472
00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:27,501
Yes, you were.
473
00:19:27,534 --> 00:19:30,367
I guess I was jumping
to conclusions here.
474
00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:32,033
Oh, absolutely.
475
00:19:32,067 --> 00:19:33,801
Elaine, I'm really sorry.
476
00:19:33,834 --> 00:19:35,634
I really feel like a jerk.
477
00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:37,334
Well, you are one.
478
00:19:38,367 --> 00:19:39,834
But it's okay.
479
00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:43,167
Hey, um, can we
just kind of forget
480
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:45,067
this ever happened?
481
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:46,400
Huh?
482
00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:48,400
All right, all right.
483
00:19:48,434 --> 00:19:51,501
I don't see why not.
484
00:19:52,601 --> 00:19:54,267
Let's get this wine open.
485
00:19:54,300 --> 00:19:55,367
Yeah, here.
486
00:20:16,934 --> 00:20:20,100
Hi, guys.
How you doing?
487
00:20:20,133 --> 00:20:21,767
I was hoping you'd be home.
488
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:26,601
It's 3:00
in the morning, Alex.
489
00:20:26,634 --> 00:20:27,901
What are you
doing here?
490
00:20:27,934 --> 00:20:30,934
I was just out taking a walk.
491
00:20:30,968 --> 00:20:32,300
Barefoot?
492
00:20:32,334 --> 00:20:33,434
Yeah. I, uh...
493
00:20:33,467 --> 00:20:36,467
I like the feeling
of snow in my toes.
494
00:20:38,267 --> 00:20:40,701
Hey, Bob, you don't happen
to have anything for frostbite
495
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,100
in your medicine chest, do you?
496
00:20:42,133 --> 00:20:44,501
I'll get you
some socks.
497
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:46,868
Thanks.
498
00:20:46,901 --> 00:20:48,901
Okay, Alex, you
have one chance
499
00:20:48,934 --> 00:20:50,234
to explain this to me.
500
00:20:50,267 --> 00:20:51,400
Huh?
501
00:20:51,434 --> 00:20:54,267
No, Elaine, I was, uh,
I just had trouble sleeping
502
00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:56,100
so I thought
I'd take a little walk.
503
00:20:56,133 --> 00:21:00,601
And you guys are only
26 blocks away, so...
504
00:21:00,634 --> 00:21:04,000
I lost my slippers
in a snowbank, see?
505
00:21:04,033 --> 00:21:06,167
Here you go.
506
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:07,868
Bobby?
Oh, thanks.
507
00:21:07,901 --> 00:21:09,167
That telephone call
a few minutes ago,
508
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,434
that was to Sergeant Preston
of the Yukon, right?
509
00:21:12,467 --> 00:21:14,434
Elaine, Elaine, we were
very worried about you.
510
00:21:14,467 --> 00:21:17,100
I mean, you're in a very
vulnerable frame of mind.
511
00:21:17,133 --> 00:21:18,601
That's right, Elaine.
512
00:21:18,634 --> 00:21:21,334
So you thought you'd save me
from myself, is that it?
513
00:21:21,367 --> 00:21:23,701
Well, Bobby,
you've succeeded in making fools
514
00:21:23,734 --> 00:21:25,100
out of all three of us.
515
00:21:25,133 --> 00:21:27,334
You know something?
516
00:21:27,367 --> 00:21:30,601
I really resent the implication
that I'd lose control of myself
517
00:21:30,634 --> 00:21:33,067
just because I'm an emotional
female at a weak moment,
518
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,367
and you're a guy.
519
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:35,767
A great-looking guy.
520
00:21:37,801 --> 00:21:41,000
Women always lose control--
is that it?
521
00:21:41,033 --> 00:21:42,367
But men are always
on top of things.
522
00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,300
Well, Bobby,
523
00:21:44,334 --> 00:21:45,767
I hate you for this tonight.
524
00:21:45,801 --> 00:21:47,767
And, Alex, I really resent you!
525
00:21:47,801 --> 00:21:50,000
I might have expected
this kind of attitude from Bobby,
526
00:21:50,033 --> 00:21:52,467
but I thought
you had a little more class.
527
00:21:52,501 --> 00:21:53,534
Yeah, Alex.
528
00:21:53,567 --> 00:21:55,534
What?
529
00:21:55,567 --> 00:21:57,567
What is it, Alex,
a rule with you?
530
00:21:57,601 --> 00:21:59,701
You only get involved
in other people's lives
531
00:21:59,734 --> 00:22:01,234
if you can make
a complete ass of yourself?
532
00:22:01,267 --> 00:22:03,567
Well, I wouldn't call
it a rule.
533
00:22:03,601 --> 00:22:06,667
It's just the way
it happens to turn out.
534
00:22:06,701 --> 00:22:08,734
Look, I wouldn't be here
in the first place
535
00:22:08,767 --> 00:22:10,033
if you hadn't made
536
00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:11,367
that stupid
phone call.
537
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:12,901
Hey, hold it.
You're the one that told me
538
00:22:12,934 --> 00:22:15,133
she was gonna be coming on
to me tonight like a Mack truck!
539
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,734
I never said anything
like a truck.
540
00:22:16,767 --> 00:22:17,734
You said something...
541
00:22:17,767 --> 00:22:19,734
Look, I thought
that you'd only get upset
542
00:22:19,767 --> 00:22:21,334
if something
was really happening.
543
00:22:21,367 --> 00:22:22,567
Something was really happening.
544
00:22:22,601 --> 00:22:23,567
Like what?
545
00:22:23,601 --> 00:22:25,334
She was walking around here
546
00:22:25,367 --> 00:22:28,834
in loose clothes, sipping wine
and talking about love.
547
00:22:28,868 --> 00:22:32,634
Bobby, the pope does that.
548
00:22:32,667 --> 00:22:33,901
( sighs )
549
00:22:33,934 --> 00:22:36,734
Oh...
550
00:22:36,767 --> 00:22:40,734
Listen, I, uh...
551
00:22:40,767 --> 00:22:43,033
I think I'd better go.
552
00:22:44,033 --> 00:22:46,434
Sorry about your door.
553
00:22:47,467 --> 00:22:49,434
Alex,
554
00:22:49,467 --> 00:22:51,901
you can't go out
like that again.
555
00:22:51,934 --> 00:22:54,067
You might as well
just stay here.
556
00:22:56,100 --> 00:22:58,734
Okay.
557
00:22:58,767 --> 00:23:00,200
Elaine,
558
00:23:00,234 --> 00:23:01,334
would it be any better
559
00:23:01,367 --> 00:23:03,000
if Alex promised not to be
this stupid again?
560
00:23:03,033 --> 00:23:05,868
Come on,
will you?
561
00:23:05,901 --> 00:23:07,200
Look, Elaine,
the only reason
562
00:23:07,234 --> 00:23:08,434
that we were this stupid
563
00:23:08,467 --> 00:23:10,200
is because we really
care about you.
564
00:23:10,234 --> 00:23:14,467
Well, then
you two must care a lot.
565
00:23:16,501 --> 00:23:19,701
Well, I guess it has been
566
00:23:19,734 --> 00:23:22,934
kind of a rough week
for all of us, you know?
567
00:23:22,968 --> 00:23:24,801
Yeah, you can say that.
568
00:23:24,834 --> 00:23:26,934
I mean, I lost a boyfriend.
569
00:23:26,968 --> 00:23:29,033
I lost my job in Florida.
570
00:23:29,067 --> 00:23:32,434
I lost the feeling
in eight of my toes.
571
00:23:40,067 --> 00:23:42,601
( theme music playing )
572
00:24:07,033 --> 00:24:08,601
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
573
00:24:08,634 --> 00:24:09,968
( grunts )
574
00:24:10,018 --> 00:24:14,568
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