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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:25,367 --> 00:01:26,701 Miss Taxi Cab Driver, 2 00:01:26,734 --> 00:01:29,067 do you know where I spent my afternoon? 3 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:30,400 In a bar? 4 00:01:30,434 --> 00:01:31,901 I was in a bar. 5 00:01:31,934 --> 00:01:35,033 And do you... do you know what I was doing? 6 00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:36,734 Drinking. 7 00:01:36,767 --> 00:01:38,734 I was drinking. 8 00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:41,367 You know... you know what I was thinking about? 9 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:42,767 Loneliness? 10 00:01:42,801 --> 00:01:43,901 You too, huh? 11 00:01:43,934 --> 00:01:44,934 ( laughing ) 12 00:01:44,968 --> 00:01:45,968 ( tires screeching ) 13 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,601 Here we are. 14 00:01:49,434 --> 00:01:51,567 Uh, $7.50. 15 00:01:51,601 --> 00:01:53,567 Here. Just keep the change. 16 00:01:53,601 --> 00:01:54,901 Oh, thank you. 17 00:01:54,934 --> 00:01:56,067 Are you sure 18 00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:57,901 you can find your plane? 19 00:01:57,934 --> 00:02:03,067 Listen, if I'm late, they're going to wait for me. 20 00:02:09,234 --> 00:02:10,734 Whew. 21 00:02:16,534 --> 00:02:18,934 Park and 63rd, please. 22 00:02:18,968 --> 00:02:20,467 Okay. 23 00:02:24,300 --> 00:02:26,400 Oh... 24 00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:29,734 Excuse me, but, uh, 25 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:32,300 does this bring back any memories? 26 00:02:32,334 --> 00:02:34,434 Gimme an E! Gimme an E! 27 00:02:34,467 --> 00:02:35,767 Gimme an A-S-T! 28 00:02:35,801 --> 00:02:37,267 BOTH: Gimme an S! Gimme an S! 29 00:02:37,300 --> 00:02:38,734 Gimme an I-D-E! 30 00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,100 East Side, East Side! Go, team, go! 31 00:02:41,133 --> 00:02:42,868 Yay! 32 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,267 Never heard of it. 33 00:02:44,300 --> 00:02:45,868 ( screeching ) 34 00:02:45,901 --> 00:02:47,734 ( screeching ) 35 00:02:47,767 --> 00:02:50,000 Elaine O'Connor. 36 00:02:50,033 --> 00:02:51,501 Mary Parker. 37 00:02:51,534 --> 00:02:53,100 I don't believe this. 38 00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:54,767 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 39 00:02:54,801 --> 00:02:56,434 It's amazing! 40 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,200 After all these years. 41 00:02:58,234 --> 00:03:00,300 You know, I have thought of you now and then 42 00:03:00,334 --> 00:03:02,767 trying to think what you might be doing. 43 00:03:02,801 --> 00:03:05,033 Oh, how close did you come to this? 44 00:03:05,067 --> 00:03:06,734 Not very. 45 00:03:06,767 --> 00:03:09,167 I must say, I was a little startled 46 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:12,167 to see our homecoming queen driving a cab. 47 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,300 Uh, Mary, uh, I wasn't the homecoming queen. 48 00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:16,801 Oh, who was? 49 00:03:16,834 --> 00:03:18,133 You were. 50 00:03:18,167 --> 00:03:19,534 That's right. 51 00:03:22,067 --> 00:03:24,200 Weren't you something, Elaine? 52 00:03:24,234 --> 00:03:25,234 Oh, yes! 53 00:03:25,267 --> 00:03:26,701 I was, uh, head cheerleader. 54 00:03:26,734 --> 00:03:27,901 Oh, that's right. 55 00:03:27,934 --> 00:03:30,100 And the lead in the senior class play. 56 00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:31,901 Oh, that's right. Mm-hmm. 57 00:03:31,934 --> 00:03:33,634 I remember-- I wasn't able to be 58 00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:34,634 in the senior class play 59 00:03:34,667 --> 00:03:36,334 because I was too busy dating. 60 00:03:36,367 --> 00:03:38,701 ( laughing ) ( forced laughter ) 61 00:03:38,734 --> 00:03:42,167 Oh, Elaine, we've got a lot of catching up to do. 62 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,100 Oh, yeah. Tell me about yourself. 63 00:03:44,133 --> 00:03:46,100 Oh, no, no, no. You go first. 64 00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:50,000 Okay. I, uh, own a advertising agency. 65 00:03:50,033 --> 00:03:51,133 Mm! 66 00:03:51,167 --> 00:03:53,534 I own a co-op in Manhattan. 67 00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:56,601 I take a month or so in Europe every year. 68 00:03:56,634 --> 00:03:58,567 Oh, and I have a steady fella. 69 00:03:58,601 --> 00:03:59,868 He's an international lawyer 70 00:03:59,901 --> 00:04:01,567 and we're really excited, because right now, 71 00:04:01,601 --> 00:04:04,801 we're planning a trip for next spring to China. 72 00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:06,601 ( laughing ): Oh! 73 00:04:06,634 --> 00:04:09,133 Maybe I should have gone first. 74 00:04:09,167 --> 00:04:10,901 Well, uh, besides this, 75 00:04:10,934 --> 00:04:14,334 I am a receptionist at an uptown art gallery... 76 00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:15,734 Mm-hmm. 77 00:04:15,767 --> 00:04:16,834 ...and, uh, I'm a divorced mother 78 00:04:16,868 --> 00:04:18,167 of two beautiful children... 79 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,167 Mm-hmm. 80 00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:20,167 ...and I, uh, uh... 81 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,334 That's it. 82 00:04:22,367 --> 00:04:27,467 Well... regardless, you... certainly look nice. 83 00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,434 ( laughing ) 84 00:04:29,467 --> 00:04:31,767 Uh, Mary, you don't have to feel sorry for me. 85 00:04:31,801 --> 00:04:32,834 Sorry for you?! 86 00:04:32,868 --> 00:04:33,968 Because there's no reason to. 87 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:34,968 Well, I know that. 88 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,234 Because I'm very happy. 89 00:04:36,267 --> 00:04:37,801 Oh, you certainly seem very happy. 90 00:04:37,834 --> 00:04:39,934 Yes, well, I'm even happier than I seem! 91 00:04:39,968 --> 00:04:41,300 Happier! 92 00:04:41,334 --> 00:04:43,567 Because, uh, you see, I have a steady guy too. 93 00:04:43,601 --> 00:04:44,767 Oh, great. Yeah. 94 00:04:44,801 --> 00:04:45,868 What's his name? 95 00:04:45,901 --> 00:04:49,033 Uh... it's, uh... Billboard. 96 00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:50,067 Bill Board. 97 00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:51,067 Bill Board. 98 00:04:51,100 --> 00:04:52,400 ( laughs ) 99 00:04:52,434 --> 00:04:54,200 Well, tell me about him, Elaine. 100 00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:55,200 What does he do? 101 00:04:55,234 --> 00:04:57,601 Uh, he's a professor at Columbia. 102 00:04:57,634 --> 00:04:59,267 Oh? 103 00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,367 Must be brilliant. 104 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:04,834 He is, and not at all stuffy. 105 00:05:04,868 --> 00:05:06,701 He's, uh, he's charming and witty, 106 00:05:06,734 --> 00:05:09,834 and, uh, he's also the most romantic man in the world. 107 00:05:09,868 --> 00:05:12,167 Oh, he sounds wonderful. 108 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:13,200 He is. 109 00:05:13,234 --> 00:05:14,667 Oh, I have an idea. 110 00:05:14,701 --> 00:05:15,767 Why don't we all get together 111 00:05:15,801 --> 00:05:17,567 for dinner tomorrow night, the four of us. 112 00:05:17,601 --> 00:05:18,734 Oh-oh-oh, no, Mary. 113 00:05:18,767 --> 00:05:20,734 Uh, we're all tied up till the weekend. 114 00:05:20,767 --> 00:05:22,634 Oh, I see, well, perhaps another time. 115 00:05:22,667 --> 00:05:24,400 We'll play it by ear. 116 00:05:24,434 --> 00:05:26,901 Right. I would love to meet your man. 117 00:05:26,934 --> 00:05:28,734 Me too. 118 00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:35,000 Hey, Elaine. Hey. 119 00:05:35,033 --> 00:05:36,767 Hey, Elaine, how you doing? 120 00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:38,100 Don't talk to me. 121 00:05:38,133 --> 00:05:39,834 I hate everything today. 122 00:05:39,868 --> 00:05:41,334 I mean, look at me. 123 00:05:41,367 --> 00:05:42,834 I'm a mess. 124 00:05:42,868 --> 00:05:44,167 Oh, yeah. 125 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:46,334 BOBBY: I hardly even know you. 126 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:48,868 You know, I was so depressed when I woke up this morning, 127 00:05:48,901 --> 00:05:50,267 that I barely made it in here. 128 00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:52,601 I mean, I didn't feel like doing anything. 129 00:05:52,634 --> 00:05:54,100 I swear to God, I didn't even floss. 130 00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:55,434 ( gasping ) 131 00:05:55,467 --> 00:05:57,367 Come on, Elaine, we're just kidding. 132 00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:58,534 ALEX: Hey, come on, Elaine. 133 00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,534 Now, what got you so down, huh? 134 00:06:00,567 --> 00:06:01,968 Oh, I don't know. 135 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,701 It all started last night 136 00:06:03,734 --> 00:06:06,267 when I picked up Mary Parker in my cab. 137 00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:08,434 Who's Mary Parker? 138 00:06:08,467 --> 00:06:10,834 Does she, have, uh... 139 00:06:10,868 --> 00:06:14,634 frizzy blonde hair, granny glasses 140 00:06:14,667 --> 00:06:17,734 and smoke French cigarettes? 141 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,234 No. 142 00:06:19,267 --> 00:06:21,868 Well, if you run into somebody like that, 143 00:06:21,901 --> 00:06:23,334 I'd like to meet her. 144 00:06:26,601 --> 00:06:29,801 Mary Parker is this girl I went to high school with 145 00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:32,267 you know, that I haven't seen for a long time. 146 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,567 Well, she's beautiful, she's rich, she's successful, 147 00:06:34,601 --> 00:06:36,067 she's dating this great guy. 148 00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,434 So, here we were, 149 00:06:37,467 --> 00:06:39,501 sitting in my cab-- right? --talking about our lives, 150 00:06:39,534 --> 00:06:41,400 and, uh, she has all this 151 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:43,801 and the most exciting thing that's happened to me 152 00:06:43,834 --> 00:06:44,901 is I bought this new cushion 153 00:06:44,934 --> 00:06:47,334 that keeps me from sticking to the seat. 154 00:06:47,367 --> 00:06:49,000 Hey, you know, Elaine, when you're a cab driver, 155 00:06:49,033 --> 00:06:50,234 you know, it's a little natural 156 00:06:50,267 --> 00:06:52,734 to occasionally run into someone who's better off than you are. 157 00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:53,734 ELAINE: Yeah, well... 158 00:06:53,767 --> 00:06:56,300 People you run over are better off than you. 159 00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:58,267 See, you don't understand. 160 00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:00,801 What don't we under... What are you talking about, Elaine? 161 00:07:00,834 --> 00:07:02,567 See, this isn't just somebody. 162 00:07:02,601 --> 00:07:04,067 I mean, this Mary and I 163 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,434 were real competitors in high school. 164 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,868 Where can I get one of those? 165 00:07:10,868 --> 00:07:12,667 One of those what? 166 00:07:12,701 --> 00:07:13,968 One of those things 167 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,634 to keep you from sticking to your seat. 168 00:07:20,067 --> 00:07:22,801 I'll get you one, okay? 169 00:07:22,834 --> 00:07:23,701 Thanks. 170 00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:25,634 Anyway... 171 00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:28,868 seeing Mary again just reminded me that I... 172 00:07:28,901 --> 00:07:33,033 that I once expected more from myself, you know? 173 00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:36,567 See... I never told you guys this before, 174 00:07:36,601 --> 00:07:38,200 but, in the yearbook, 175 00:07:38,234 --> 00:07:41,367 I was voted "Most Likely to Succeed." 176 00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,901 You know, uh... 177 00:07:42,934 --> 00:07:45,300 I was voted "Most Talented." 178 00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:49,067 What obedience school was that, Bobby? 179 00:07:49,100 --> 00:07:51,367 While we're patting ourselves on the backs here, 180 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,501 I had perfect attendance my junior year 181 00:07:53,534 --> 00:07:56,167 and I was elected president of the biology club. 182 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:58,133 That's because you could take your brains out 183 00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:00,167 and pass 'em around the room. 184 00:08:04,534 --> 00:08:05,901 Blue. 185 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:08,501 Blue? 186 00:08:08,534 --> 00:08:13,200 I'd like a blue thing to keep me from sticking. 187 00:08:13,234 --> 00:08:15,567 It's my favorite color. 188 00:08:15,601 --> 00:08:17,300 Right, Jim, right. 189 00:08:17,334 --> 00:08:18,300 Blue. 190 00:08:18,334 --> 00:08:20,734 Hey, Elaine, Elaine. 191 00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:22,167 Come on, Elaine. 192 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,267 Look at me, look at me, look at me. 193 00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:24,534 Now, come on. Cheer up, huh? 194 00:08:24,567 --> 00:08:25,701 LATKA: Now, wait a minute. 195 00:08:25,734 --> 00:08:28,701 Just a minute. 196 00:08:28,734 --> 00:08:32,367 There's only... is one thing you need in life 197 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:37,100 and to make... make you happy, and that is friends. 198 00:08:40,434 --> 00:08:44,868 That's all you need is friends, and then you be happy. 199 00:08:44,901 --> 00:08:47,200 Right, Latka. 200 00:08:47,234 --> 00:08:50,801 If you have friends, you be happy... happy... 201 00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,501 happy person. 202 00:08:54,567 --> 00:09:00,667 You-you also need the food and clothes. 203 00:09:00,701 --> 00:09:02,734 You need, you need food and clothes 204 00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:06,100 and you need the friends and the food and clothes, 205 00:09:06,133 --> 00:09:07,534 then you be happy person. 206 00:09:07,567 --> 00:09:09,033 ALEX: Thank you. 207 00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,667 And a nice car. 208 00:09:12,701 --> 00:09:14,634 So, if you have 209 00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:18,434 friends and the food and clothes and the nice car, 210 00:09:18,467 --> 00:09:20,434 it is all you need. 211 00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:23,334 You don't need anything else. 212 00:09:23,367 --> 00:09:26,067 Except a home. 213 00:09:26,100 --> 00:09:27,467 You need the home. 214 00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:29,667 A nice house, and when your friends 215 00:09:29,701 --> 00:09:31,934 come over to visit you, 216 00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:36,100 they might want to take a dip, so you need the pool. 217 00:09:36,133 --> 00:09:38,667 So, let's add this up: 218 00:09:38,701 --> 00:09:42,334 You need the friends and the food and clothes 219 00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:45,701 and the car and the house with the pool. 220 00:09:50,167 --> 00:09:54,033 And a beautiful woman, uh, who have a nice body 221 00:09:54,067 --> 00:09:58,367 that make you, uh, foam, foaming at the mouth. 222 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:03,200 And she will sit by the pool 223 00:10:03,234 --> 00:10:04,834 in the bathing suit. 224 00:10:04,868 --> 00:10:06,868 That's all, you don't need anything else. 225 00:10:06,901 --> 00:10:09,133 You need the friends 226 00:10:09,167 --> 00:10:10,801 the food and the clothes, the car, 227 00:10:10,834 --> 00:10:13,100 the house with the pool, the beautiful woman 228 00:10:13,133 --> 00:10:17,367 that make the... the foam come out of the mouth... 229 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:22,367 You know, as long as you have the house with the pool, 230 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:25,334 the car and the beautiful woman... 231 00:10:25,367 --> 00:10:27,434 the friends would only get in the way. 232 00:10:29,701 --> 00:10:31,234 Forget I said anything. 233 00:10:31,267 --> 00:10:33,734 I don't know what I'm talking about. 234 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,567 Elaine, Elaine... 235 00:10:37,601 --> 00:10:39,834 See, see, I just can't figure this out. 236 00:10:39,868 --> 00:10:41,701 I mean, it doesn't add up. 237 00:10:41,734 --> 00:10:43,901 Why should all this great stuff 238 00:10:43,934 --> 00:10:45,534 happen to Mary Parker? 239 00:10:45,567 --> 00:10:47,400 I mean, I'm a nice person. 240 00:10:47,434 --> 00:10:49,734 I work hard. Where's my reward? 241 00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:51,200 Elaine, Elaine, you're not going to let this 242 00:10:51,234 --> 00:10:52,234 get you down like this, are you? 243 00:10:52,267 --> 00:10:55,000 Oh, I'm trying not to, Alex, but... 244 00:10:55,033 --> 00:10:56,701 Well, the worst part of it 245 00:10:56,734 --> 00:10:58,367 is that Mary felt sorry for me. 246 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:02,501 Oh, she... she tried to deny it, but I know she did. 247 00:11:02,534 --> 00:11:06,300 Well, I couldn't stand that, so, uh, I started lying. 248 00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:09,334 Lying?! What'd you lie about? 249 00:11:09,367 --> 00:11:11,267 Well, I couldn't lie about my job, 250 00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:13,601 so, uh... I lied 251 00:11:13,634 --> 00:11:15,868 about having this great steady guy. 252 00:11:15,901 --> 00:11:17,300 Oh... 253 00:11:17,334 --> 00:11:19,000 She kept pressuring me to get together, 254 00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:20,033 so she could meet him. 255 00:11:20,067 --> 00:11:23,667 Ew... But I really, really had to squirm 256 00:11:23,701 --> 00:11:25,534 to get out of it. 257 00:11:25,567 --> 00:11:27,701 Alex, I don't believe it. 258 00:11:27,734 --> 00:11:30,067 I'm ashamed of my own life. 259 00:11:30,100 --> 00:11:34,467 ( phone ringing ) 260 00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:38,133 Sunshine Cab Co. 261 00:11:38,167 --> 00:11:40,200 Who? Yeah, she's here. 262 00:11:40,234 --> 00:11:42,200 Who may I say is calling? 263 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:44,834 Oh. Hey, Elaine, it's that Mary Parker. 264 00:11:44,868 --> 00:11:48,367 You know, the woman whose life is so much better than yours. 265 00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:53,467 ( perky ): Hi! 266 00:11:53,501 --> 00:11:58,100 Yeah. Uh, it was great seeing you last night, too, Mar. 267 00:11:58,133 --> 00:12:00,701 Oh, yeah, it's a shame, I know, 268 00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:04,300 but we're all tied up through the weekend. 269 00:12:04,334 --> 00:12:06,267 Uh, next week? Uh, no. 270 00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:08,167 Next week, we're going 271 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,334 out of town for the whole week. 272 00:12:10,367 --> 00:12:13,801 Oh, yeah, and the week after... 273 00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:17,934 Uh... Mary... 274 00:12:17,968 --> 00:12:20,567 I have a little confession to make. Um... 275 00:12:20,601 --> 00:12:23,000 No, no, no, just give me a chance 276 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:24,734 to say this 277 00:12:24,767 --> 00:12:26,534 'cause it's kind of hard. I... 278 00:12:26,567 --> 00:12:28,234 Hello, Mary, uh, I'm sorry to interrupt. 279 00:12:28,267 --> 00:12:29,434 I'd just like to say hello. 280 00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:32,167 Hello. ( laughing ) 281 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:34,400 Oh, who am I? I'm Elaine's guy. 282 00:12:37,868 --> 00:12:39,868 What do you say? You want to get together? 283 00:12:39,901 --> 00:12:41,901 How about Saturday night? 284 00:12:41,934 --> 00:12:43,567 Fine. Great. 285 00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:45,234 It will be a pleasure. 286 00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:47,501 Okay. Can't wait for it. Bye. 287 00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,000 Hmm? 288 00:12:49,033 --> 00:12:52,100 Alex, I appreciate what you're trying to do 289 00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:55,467 but you don't know what you got yourself into. 290 00:12:57,767 --> 00:13:00,434 Alex, that was great. 291 00:13:00,467 --> 00:13:01,834 You really think so? 292 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:05,467 Yeah. Now... 293 00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:08,300 if they can just invent something 294 00:13:08,334 --> 00:13:11,701 to keep me from sticking to my shorts. 295 00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,934 Bill Board? 296 00:13:34,968 --> 00:13:41,334 Hey, you came this close to being Karmen Ghia. 297 00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:43,467 Look, the important thing is that we just relax 298 00:13:43,501 --> 00:13:44,767 and have a good time, right? 299 00:13:44,801 --> 00:13:46,901 And that we're not pitied. 300 00:13:46,934 --> 00:13:47,934 Elaine, damn it. 301 00:13:47,968 --> 00:13:49,567 I don't want to hear any more talk like that. 302 00:13:49,601 --> 00:13:51,334 Now, no one's going to pity you tonight. 303 00:13:51,367 --> 00:13:52,434 Okay. 304 00:13:52,467 --> 00:13:53,801 You told your friend Mary 305 00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:56,234 that you had a guy that was crazy about you? 306 00:13:56,267 --> 00:13:58,901 You're going to have a guy who's crazy about you-- 307 00:13:58,934 --> 00:14:01,100 who will worship the ground you walk on. 308 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:03,767 Okay. May I have a glass of water? 309 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,534 What's the matter? Your arm's broken? 310 00:14:07,033 --> 00:14:08,801 All right, all right, all right. 311 00:14:08,834 --> 00:14:11,267 Hello. 312 00:14:11,300 --> 00:14:12,434 Mary! 313 00:14:12,467 --> 00:14:14,767 Hi. Mary, this is Bill Board. 314 00:14:14,801 --> 00:14:15,767 Hello. 315 00:14:15,801 --> 00:14:16,667 Bill, this is Mary Parker. 316 00:14:16,701 --> 00:14:17,601 How do you do? Hi, there. 317 00:14:17,634 --> 00:14:18,667 And this is Michael Edwards. 318 00:14:18,701 --> 00:14:19,667 ELAINE: Hello. 319 00:14:19,701 --> 00:14:21,501 Elaine Nardo and Bill Board. 320 00:14:21,534 --> 00:14:23,000 How do you do? Hi. 321 00:14:23,033 --> 00:14:25,167 Why don't you two sit down? 322 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:26,634 Yes, sure. 323 00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,434 ELAINE: You look lovely. 324 00:14:30,467 --> 00:14:31,934 MARY: OH, thank you. 325 00:14:33,534 --> 00:14:35,067 MAITRE D': Would you care 326 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:36,367 for cocktails? 327 00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,133 Uh, martini up, please. 328 00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:39,634 MICHAEL: That sounds good. 329 00:14:39,667 --> 00:14:41,100 Bill, why don't you order for us. 330 00:14:41,133 --> 00:14:42,434 All right. 331 00:14:42,467 --> 00:14:43,434 I think we'll start 332 00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,133 with a bottle of your finest champagne. 333 00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:46,934 Yes, sir. 334 00:14:46,968 --> 00:14:50,000 It's kind of an anniversary for us. 335 00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:52,534 It was nighttime when we met. 336 00:14:52,567 --> 00:14:53,534 Same. 337 00:14:53,567 --> 00:14:55,701 That's sweet. 338 00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:58,300 MICHAEL: That's a very unusual name-- Bill Board. 339 00:14:58,334 --> 00:14:59,367 Yeah. 340 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,701 I'm sure you get a lot of kidding. 341 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:04,200 Well, I don't have as much trouble 342 00:15:04,234 --> 00:15:07,033 as my two brothers: Clip and Switch. 343 00:15:12,834 --> 00:15:14,968 Madame, sir. 344 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,968 Our very finest. 345 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,300 Thank you. 346 00:15:20,334 --> 00:15:21,834 Oh, remember, darling? 347 00:15:23,834 --> 00:15:25,467 Thank you. 348 00:15:25,501 --> 00:15:26,634 Well... Well... 349 00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:28,033 Here's to old friends. 350 00:15:28,067 --> 00:15:29,701 And to new ones. 351 00:15:29,734 --> 00:15:31,133 And to Elaine. 352 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:36,501 Good martini. 353 00:15:36,534 --> 00:15:37,767 Not bad. 354 00:15:37,801 --> 00:15:39,767 But you know where they make 355 00:15:39,801 --> 00:15:41,734 the best martinis in the world? 356 00:15:41,767 --> 00:15:44,534 This little bar in Hong Kong called Cecil's. 357 00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:46,534 Have you ever been there? 358 00:15:46,567 --> 00:15:49,067 No. We don't really travel very much. 359 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,901 Oh, we do. 360 00:15:50,934 --> 00:15:53,601 Well, you know, as a matter of fact, uh, 361 00:15:53,634 --> 00:15:56,200 we don't really need to go places. 362 00:15:56,234 --> 00:15:58,000 I mean, we have our entire world 363 00:15:58,033 --> 00:16:00,133 right here in New York City. 364 00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:02,167 I mean, we have each other. 365 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:03,701 Well, we don't travel 366 00:16:03,734 --> 00:16:06,000 as much as we used to. 367 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:12,300 A cab driver and a college professor. 368 00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:15,100 How did you two meet? 369 00:16:15,133 --> 00:16:16,801 How did we meet? 370 00:16:16,834 --> 00:16:18,133 Well, uh... 371 00:16:18,167 --> 00:16:19,634 Yes, well, you know, 372 00:16:19,667 --> 00:16:22,267 actually, it's a very interesting story. 373 00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:24,234 Well, actually, I was browsing 374 00:16:24,267 --> 00:16:26,968 in the Metropolitan Museum of Art one day 375 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,334 and, uh, I came upon 376 00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:30,300 the most exquisite work of art 377 00:16:30,334 --> 00:16:32,033 I've ever seen in my life. 378 00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:34,033 I mean, I couldn't take 379 00:16:34,067 --> 00:16:35,701 my eyes off her. 380 00:16:35,734 --> 00:16:39,801 I just stood there, stunned. 381 00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:41,033 By the time I was able to speak, 382 00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:42,367 well, it was too late. 383 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:44,067 She vanished. 384 00:16:44,100 --> 00:16:47,567 So, I went home and tried to forget her 385 00:16:47,601 --> 00:16:51,033 but I just couldn't get her out of my mind. 386 00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:53,400 So I found myself, the next Saturday afternoon, 387 00:16:53,434 --> 00:16:56,300 right back there at the museum. 388 00:16:56,334 --> 00:16:58,267 I started spending all of my spare time 389 00:16:58,300 --> 00:16:59,634 in museums all over the city, 390 00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:02,667 just on the one chance in a million 391 00:17:02,701 --> 00:17:04,767 that I would get to see her again. 392 00:17:04,801 --> 00:17:07,200 How long did this go on? 393 00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,467 What? 394 00:17:08,501 --> 00:17:10,801 How long did this go on? 395 00:17:10,834 --> 00:17:14,000 Oh, two, three years. 396 00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:20,000 Three years? 397 00:17:20,033 --> 00:17:22,467 Yeah. Time had lost all meaning. 398 00:17:22,501 --> 00:17:23,834 And then, one day-- 399 00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:26,133 I remember, it was a Thursday-- 400 00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:29,100 I'd spent the entire day at the museum 401 00:17:29,133 --> 00:17:31,834 and I decided, oh, well, that's it. 402 00:17:31,868 --> 00:17:33,467 It had been a dream. 403 00:17:33,501 --> 00:17:35,868 I imagined the whole thing. 404 00:17:35,901 --> 00:17:38,267 So I went out to the street 405 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:40,934 and I remember it was raining. 406 00:17:40,968 --> 00:17:42,334 I hailed a cab. 407 00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:45,501 And guess who was driving that cab. 408 00:17:45,534 --> 00:17:46,801 Me? 409 00:17:50,801 --> 00:17:52,701 That's incredible. 410 00:17:52,734 --> 00:17:54,901 So I finally got the opportunity to say 411 00:17:54,934 --> 00:17:57,501 what I'd been waiting to say for three years-- 412 00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:59,367 that I couldn't live without her. 413 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:01,968 That's lovely. 414 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,300 Oh, that's lovely. 415 00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:09,167 So, uh, where did you two meet? 416 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,234 We were sunbathing on a beach 417 00:18:11,267 --> 00:18:12,834 in the Mediterranean. 418 00:18:12,868 --> 00:18:14,467 Cannes. 419 00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:15,968 I don't think it was Cannes, dear. 420 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,300 Where was it? 421 00:18:17,334 --> 00:18:19,300 It was Nice. I've never been to Cannes. 422 00:18:19,334 --> 00:18:20,234 Well, dear, it doesn't really matter. 423 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:21,501 It was a beach, right? 424 00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:22,834 Yes, dear, it was a beach, but... 425 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:24,267 ALEX: When Elaine and I met, 426 00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:26,734 I'd become the perfectly happy man 427 00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:29,267 and she's the most wonderful person 428 00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:31,133 I've ever met in my life. 429 00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:32,467 And, every day, 430 00:18:32,501 --> 00:18:34,968 she makes me more certain of that fact. 431 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,968 Would you like to order now? 432 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,033 Yes. 433 00:18:38,067 --> 00:18:40,334 I'd like one of him. 434 00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:50,267 Bill? 435 00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:51,601 Yes, darling? 436 00:18:51,634 --> 00:18:54,167 Do you think you could let go of my hand, 437 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:55,968 so I could cut my meat? 438 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,100 Oh. 439 00:18:58,133 --> 00:19:02,434 Well, I guess you have to eat. 440 00:19:02,467 --> 00:19:04,501 I'll give it right back. 441 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:05,834 Promise? 442 00:19:05,868 --> 00:19:07,100 Okay. 443 00:19:10,868 --> 00:19:13,067 ( chuckling ) 444 00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,701 We know we're silly, but I don't know... 445 00:19:15,734 --> 00:19:17,300 whenever we get together, 446 00:19:17,334 --> 00:19:19,400 you know, we just have this strange habit 447 00:19:19,434 --> 00:19:22,133 of forgetting everybody else in the room. 448 00:19:22,167 --> 00:19:25,501 Uh, so, how do you get along with Elaine's children, Bill? 449 00:19:25,534 --> 00:19:27,234 Oh, I love her children. I love them. 450 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,701 And Elaine is a wonderful mother. 451 00:19:29,734 --> 00:19:32,400 Surprise, surprise. 452 00:19:32,434 --> 00:19:34,267 You know, as a matter of fact, 453 00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,534 one of my favorite children's stories 454 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:38,400 is about Elaine's son, Jason. 455 00:19:38,434 --> 00:19:39,834 Do you mind, darling? 456 00:19:39,868 --> 00:19:41,300 No. Not at all. 457 00:19:41,334 --> 00:19:42,467 Okay. 458 00:19:42,501 --> 00:19:44,167 Um, Elaine had told Jason 459 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,501 that God answers all your prayers. 460 00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:48,934 So, one night, before he went to bed, 461 00:19:48,968 --> 00:19:52,133 Jason prayed to God and asked for a train set. 462 00:19:52,167 --> 00:19:54,067 Well, the next day, he came to Elaine 463 00:19:54,100 --> 00:19:56,400 and he said he'd prayed for a train set 464 00:19:56,434 --> 00:19:57,734 and didn't get one. 465 00:19:57,767 --> 00:19:59,901 And Elaine was very worried. 466 00:19:59,934 --> 00:20:02,434 And she said, "I'm sorry, Jason, 467 00:20:02,467 --> 00:20:05,067 that God didn't answer your prayers." 468 00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:06,400 And Jason said, 469 00:20:06,434 --> 00:20:09,667 "Oh, but he did answer my prayers, Mommy. 470 00:20:09,701 --> 00:20:11,067 He just said no." 471 00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:14,467 That was two or three years ago. 472 00:20:14,501 --> 00:20:16,067 I know, darling. 473 00:20:16,100 --> 00:20:17,801 I didn't remember that story. 474 00:20:17,834 --> 00:20:18,968 How did you remember it? 475 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,033 I remember everything. 476 00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:24,767 ( slow dance music playing ) 477 00:20:26,868 --> 00:20:28,167 Oh, listen. 478 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:32,067 They're playing our song. 479 00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:36,467 May I have this dance? 480 00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:37,801 Of course. 481 00:20:37,834 --> 00:20:39,334 Would you excuse us? 482 00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:41,901 Excuse us, please. 483 00:21:03,334 --> 00:21:06,434 Would you care to dance? 484 00:21:06,467 --> 00:21:11,067 Why don't we wait until they play our song? 485 00:21:13,067 --> 00:21:15,567 What is our song, dear? 486 00:21:15,601 --> 00:21:19,400 We don't have one. 487 00:21:26,968 --> 00:21:28,367 Boy, we did it. We did it. 488 00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,467 We were wonderful, Elaine, wonderful. 489 00:21:30,501 --> 00:21:32,667 They bought it hook, line, and sinker. 490 00:21:32,701 --> 00:21:34,400 You know, I was a little worried at first 491 00:21:34,434 --> 00:21:35,701 that our act wasn't convincing, 492 00:21:35,734 --> 00:21:37,834 but boy, I'm telling you, you were something else. 493 00:21:37,868 --> 00:21:39,334 Okay, Alex. Huh? 494 00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:41,534 Come on. What do you mean, come on? What? 495 00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:43,167 Come on, you can admit that it was 496 00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:44,901 a little more than an act. 497 00:21:44,934 --> 00:21:45,901 What are you talking about? 498 00:21:45,934 --> 00:21:47,033 I don't know what you're talking about. 499 00:21:47,067 --> 00:21:47,868 What are you talking about? 500 00:21:47,901 --> 00:21:49,367 You're not that good an actor. 501 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:50,367 What?! 502 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:51,701 Alex, it's okay. 503 00:21:51,734 --> 00:21:55,400 You can confess that you were a little moved. 504 00:21:57,167 --> 00:21:58,534 ( anxious laughter ) 505 00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,367 ( laughs ) 506 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,100 Elaine, I hate to disillusion you, 507 00:22:02,133 --> 00:22:04,434 but all that drivel I did was for your sake, 508 00:22:04,467 --> 00:22:05,501 and your sake only. 509 00:22:05,534 --> 00:22:07,000 Drivel?! Oh, Alex, be honest! 510 00:22:07,033 --> 00:22:08,200 What? Come on! 511 00:22:08,234 --> 00:22:09,400 I saw that look on your face. 512 00:22:09,434 --> 00:22:12,868 I know that that look means... you were excited. 513 00:22:12,901 --> 00:22:14,300 Oh..! 514 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:16,033 Get out... You're crazy! 515 00:22:16,067 --> 00:22:17,200 You were. 516 00:22:17,234 --> 00:22:18,434 I was not! 517 00:22:18,467 --> 00:22:19,767 Alex, you were. 518 00:22:19,801 --> 00:22:21,200 Come on. How can you stand there and pretend 519 00:22:21,234 --> 00:22:23,400 that you didn't feel anything? 520 00:22:23,434 --> 00:22:24,167 How can you lie like that? 521 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:25,267 Elaine, what are you talking about? 522 00:22:25,300 --> 00:22:27,300 You were crazy about me. 523 00:22:27,334 --> 00:22:29,434 I'm the most exquisite work of art 524 00:22:29,467 --> 00:22:31,400 you've ever seen in your life! 525 00:22:31,434 --> 00:22:34,634 Oh, that! No, I'd say that to anybody! 526 00:22:34,667 --> 00:22:36,167 Oh, Alex, come on. 527 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:38,634 I've been out with enough men 528 00:22:38,667 --> 00:22:41,400 to know that no man can get me... 529 00:22:41,434 --> 00:22:44,601 excited like that if he's just acting. 530 00:22:44,634 --> 00:22:46,501 When we were kissing, 531 00:22:46,534 --> 00:22:48,601 you weren't turned on? 532 00:22:48,634 --> 00:22:50,501 I was playing a part. 533 00:22:50,534 --> 00:22:52,367 Oh, here, I'll show you. 534 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:54,801 Here, I'll do it again. 535 00:22:56,667 --> 00:22:58,100 See? Nothing. 536 00:22:58,133 --> 00:22:59,267 Nothing? 537 00:22:59,300 --> 00:23:00,467 Nothing. 538 00:23:20,667 --> 00:23:22,234 ( in squeaky voice: ) Nothing. 539 00:23:25,501 --> 00:23:28,334 Oh, really? 540 00:23:28,367 --> 00:23:30,334 ( in squeaky voice: ) Nothing. 541 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:35,267 Well... I guess I was wrong. 542 00:23:35,300 --> 00:23:36,801 Good night, Alex. 543 00:23:38,634 --> 00:23:40,901 ( in squeaky voice: ) See you. 544 00:23:42,167 --> 00:23:44,000 Good night. 545 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:51,868 ( in squeaky voice: ) Well, I better go now. 546 00:23:51,901 --> 00:23:54,334 It was nothing. 547 00:23:54,367 --> 00:23:56,133 Nothing. 548 00:24:02,934 --> 00:24:06,234 ( theme music playing ) 549 00:24:29,934 --> 00:24:31,501 WOMAN: Night, Mr. Walters. 550 00:24:31,534 --> 00:24:32,868 ( grunts ) 551 00:24:32,918 --> 00:24:37,468 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37193

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