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1
00:01:25,767 --> 00:01:26,767
Hey.
2
00:01:26,801 --> 00:01:28,267
Here, get the air moving
3
00:01:28,300 --> 00:01:30,200
around me in here
a little bit.
4
00:01:30,234 --> 00:01:32,467
You want me
to fan you?
5
00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:34,467
I don't think
so, Louie.
6
00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:35,968
You see, I left
my palm leaf
7
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,300
back at the hut
this morning.
8
00:01:38,334 --> 00:01:40,968
Go ahead.
Make it racial right away.
9
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:41,968
( grunts )
10
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:43,667
Oh, guys.
11
00:01:43,701 --> 00:01:44,868
ALEX:
Hi, Elaine.
12
00:01:44,901 --> 00:01:47,234
Now, you know that I'm
not the kind of mother
13
00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:50,133
who comes in with
boring stories about her kids, right?
14
00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:52,033
Yes, we've noticed that
about you, Elaine, yes.
15
00:01:52,067 --> 00:01:53,968
And I can't tell you how
much we appreciate it.
16
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:56,634
That's the one thing I
like most about you, Elaine, you know that?
17
00:01:56,667 --> 00:01:57,767
BOBBY:
Yeah. Thanks a lot
18
00:01:57,801 --> 00:01:59,000
for not doing
that, Elaine.
19
00:01:59,033 --> 00:02:00,334
Oh, I forgot.
20
00:02:00,367 --> 00:02:03,400
We're only allowed to talk
about hangovers and the Jets.
21
00:02:04,467 --> 00:02:06,767
Hey, did you see
the Jet game this weekend?
22
00:02:06,801 --> 00:02:08,167
No. I was hung over.
23
00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:13,267
Latka, do you like
kid stories?
24
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,767
Oh, yes, I love them.
25
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:17,334
You know, when I was
five and a half
26
00:02:17,367 --> 00:02:19,434
and I was just so high
27
00:02:19,467 --> 00:02:22,934
and I was so cute,
you could eat me up alive.
28
00:02:22,968 --> 00:02:25,834
Uh, you know, I had these big
cheeks then, you know...
29
00:02:25,868 --> 00:02:27,667
And...
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
30
00:02:27,701 --> 00:02:30,033
You're telling me a kid
story about yourself?
31
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,067
Yes, because you know,
I am a bachelor.
32
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:33,968
I am the only kid I've got.
33
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:38,000
Hey, Lou.
34
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,300
Hey, Ton.
Hey, Bobby. Whatcha say?
35
00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:41,300
Hey, did your sister
get moved in?
36
00:02:41,334 --> 00:02:42,801
Yeah. She's coming
down here pretty soon.
37
00:02:42,834 --> 00:02:44,200
Yeah, I can't wait
to meet her.
38
00:02:44,234 --> 00:02:46,267
Oh, uh, Bobby, I'd
rather you wouldn't.
39
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,200
Why not?
40
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:48,667
Well, I mean,
if you had a sister
41
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:50,701
you wouldn't want a guy like you
to meet her, would ya?
42
00:02:50,734 --> 00:02:52,200
( stammers )
43
00:02:52,234 --> 00:02:54,567
Oh, yeah, I'll hang
around the back till she leaves.
44
00:02:55,567 --> 00:02:56,667
Hey, Alex, I talk to you?
45
00:02:56,701 --> 00:02:57,968
Yeah, sure. What?
46
00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,734
Remember when I read you
my sister's letters
47
00:02:59,767 --> 00:03:01,834
and you said if she wasn't
married and from Spokane
48
00:03:01,868 --> 00:03:03,334
you might want
to go out with her?
49
00:03:03,367 --> 00:03:05,434
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, you're in luck.
50
00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:07,801
She's divorced, she's
moved in, and she's free for lunch.
51
00:03:07,834 --> 00:03:10,300
Uh, uh... Tony, Tony, look, I
don't think it's a great idea
52
00:03:10,334 --> 00:03:12,334
for someone to date
a friend's sister, you know?
53
00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:14,167
Especially an Italian
boxer friend's sister,
54
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:15,234
if you know what I mean.
55
00:03:15,267 --> 00:03:16,634
Alex, I know what
you're afraid of.
56
00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:18,901
But don't worry about it.
I mean, Monica's all grown up.
57
00:03:18,934 --> 00:03:20,934
She's been married
and everything.
58
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:23,200
I doubt she's even
a virgin anymore.
59
00:03:24,234 --> 00:03:25,767
So...
Yeah.
60
00:03:25,801 --> 00:03:27,801
I want you to know I
thought about it and it's okay with me
61
00:03:27,834 --> 00:03:29,100
if you want to go
to bed with Monica.
62
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:30,767
Uh, Tony...
63
00:03:30,801 --> 00:03:34,234
I better warn you,
this might lead to dinner.
64
00:03:34,267 --> 00:03:35,868
Listen, Alex, I'm only
saying this because
65
00:03:35,901 --> 00:03:36,901
I know you're a good guy.
66
00:03:36,934 --> 00:03:38,934
You'd call her
the next day
67
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,434
stay friends,
stuff like that, right?
68
00:03:40,467 --> 00:03:42,801
I'm beginning to get
a crush on myself here.
69
00:03:42,834 --> 00:03:44,467
Well...
Eh, Tony, excuse me,
70
00:03:44,501 --> 00:03:48,501
but could I please have
a crack at your sister, too?
71
00:03:49,501 --> 00:03:51,467
Don't be ridiculous,
Latka.
72
00:03:51,501 --> 00:03:53,200
Why? I would call her
the next day
73
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,501
and stay friends with her
and all that, too.
74
00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:57,534
Listen, who are you fooling?
75
00:03:57,567 --> 00:03:59,934
I would marry the wench.
76
00:03:59,968 --> 00:04:01,534
Could you come upstairs
for a second, Alex?
77
00:04:01,567 --> 00:04:02,767
Mm-hmm.
So I could talk to you?
78
00:04:02,801 --> 00:04:04,767
There's no privacy
down here.
79
00:04:04,801 --> 00:04:06,734
Boy, what-what
does Alex have
80
00:04:06,767 --> 00:04:08,033
that I don't have?
81
00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:10,634
A big nose and a Green Card.
82
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,000
( speaking native language )
83
00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:18,267
Excuse me.
84
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,200
Uh, could you help me?
85
00:04:20,234 --> 00:04:23,200
I'm afraid
all I give is rubdowns.
86
00:04:23,234 --> 00:04:26,133
I just wanted you to tell me
where my brother is.
87
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:27,434
Who's your brother?
88
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,033
Tony Banta.
89
00:04:29,067 --> 00:04:30,400
Huh.
90
00:04:30,434 --> 00:04:33,934
I don't allow no family
get-togethers in my garage.
91
00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:36,734
Well, I just want to talk
to him for two minutes.
92
00:04:36,767 --> 00:04:38,133
Give me a buck.
93
00:04:40,133 --> 00:04:42,267
You must be Louie.
94
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,934
How do you know
who I am?
95
00:04:43,968 --> 00:04:47,167
'Cause I only had three people
described to me.
96
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:50,667
One was good-looking,
one was smart, and one was you.
97
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,133
Well, meow.
98
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:57,868
Oh, I'm in luck--
99
00:04:57,901 --> 00:04:59,133
a human being.
100
00:04:59,167 --> 00:05:00,801
Excuse me,
excuse me.
101
00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,734
Uh, could you tell
Tony Banta
102
00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:04,234
that his sister's here?
103
00:05:04,267 --> 00:05:05,534
Oh, you are Tony's sister?
104
00:05:05,567 --> 00:05:06,667
Yeah.
105
00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:07,734
Well, do you know
106
00:05:07,767 --> 00:05:09,501
that you and I
are forbidden to love?
107
00:05:09,534 --> 00:05:12,701
It's a shame,
it's a big shame.
108
00:05:12,734 --> 00:05:15,033
Because we would have made
beautiful babies together.
109
00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:26,934
I never thought I'd say this,
but don't go away.
110
00:05:29,901 --> 00:05:31,367
Next.
111
00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:53,934
Did I hear someone say...
112
00:05:53,968 --> 00:05:56,467
you were from Spokane?
113
00:05:56,501 --> 00:05:57,801
Yeah, yeah.
114
00:05:57,834 --> 00:06:00,467
I mean, I lived there
for five years.
115
00:06:00,501 --> 00:06:02,100
Were you ever there?
116
00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:03,767
No, no...
117
00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:07,567
Uh, wait a minute.
118
00:06:09,968 --> 00:06:12,234
I was born there.
119
00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:20,968
Uh... ( clears throat )
I'm, uh...
120
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,400
Jim Ignatowski.
121
00:06:23,434 --> 00:06:25,100
Uh, Monica Douglas.
122
00:06:26,801 --> 00:06:29,901
Did, uh, you buy
that dress in Spokane?
123
00:06:29,934 --> 00:06:32,267
Uh... yeah, I did.
124
00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,267
It's been a long time
125
00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:38,167
since I've seen a dress
from Spokane.
126
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,601
Smooth, Iggy.
127
00:06:39,634 --> 00:06:41,767
Real smooth.
128
00:06:42,767 --> 00:06:44,200
Excuse me.
129
00:06:49,801 --> 00:06:51,767
Iggy.
130
00:06:51,801 --> 00:06:53,801
She went thataway.
131
00:06:54,801 --> 00:06:56,968
Much obliged.
132
00:07:00,334 --> 00:07:03,067
What did you do in, uh, Spokane?
133
00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:06,734
I, uh, played the flute
in the symphony there.
134
00:07:06,767 --> 00:07:07,734
Really?
135
00:07:07,767 --> 00:07:09,534
Yeah. I wouldn't
kid you.
136
00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:12,200
The flute
is my favorite instrument.
137
00:07:12,234 --> 00:07:13,200
Yeah?
138
00:07:13,234 --> 00:07:15,200
Except for the gong.
139
00:07:15,234 --> 00:07:16,400
Yeah?
140
00:07:16,434 --> 00:07:18,234
You mean the gonnnnng?
141
00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:19,300
Yeah.
142
00:07:19,334 --> 00:07:21,868
You know it.
143
00:07:21,901 --> 00:07:24,000
Yeah. Yeah, I like it, too.
144
00:07:24,033 --> 00:07:25,434
I bet you play great.
145
00:07:25,467 --> 00:07:27,067
Well...
146
00:07:28,267 --> 00:07:29,734
Vivaldi
is my favorite.
147
00:07:29,767 --> 00:07:30,734
Oh, yeah?
148
00:07:30,767 --> 00:07:32,000
Uh-huh.
149
00:07:32,033 --> 00:07:33,834
Uh...
150
00:07:33,868 --> 00:07:37,200
( humming ):
* Dum, dum, dah dah dah... *
151
00:07:37,234 --> 00:07:38,200
* Dum...
152
00:07:38,234 --> 00:07:40,067
* Duhh...
Yeah.
153
00:07:40,100 --> 00:07:43,200
( humming Vivaldi's "Spring"
from The Four Seasons )
154
00:07:43,234 --> 00:07:44,734
* Duhh...
155
00:07:44,767 --> 00:07:46,534
* Da-da-da-da,
da da-da-dum *
156
00:07:46,567 --> 00:07:48,000
* Duh-duh-duh-duh...
157
00:07:48,033 --> 00:07:51,400
* Dum, dum...
* Dum dum dum da, da, da *
158
00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:53,801
* Dum dum dum da, da, da
159
00:07:53,834 --> 00:07:56,901
* Dum dum dum
da-da-dum-dum... *
160
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:59,434
* Dum-dum...
* Dah!
161
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,701
* Dum-dum, da-da-dum
dum-dum-dum *
162
00:08:01,734 --> 00:08:02,801
* Dum-dum...
163
00:08:02,834 --> 00:08:05,200
* Dum-dum, da-da-dum
dum-dum-dum *
164
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:07,234
* Dum-da-da,
dum-da-da... *
165
00:08:07,267 --> 00:08:08,567
LOUIE:
Excuse me.
166
00:08:08,601 --> 00:08:11,200
Your attention,
everybody.
167
00:08:11,234 --> 00:08:13,534
I didn't think
it would be necessary for me
168
00:08:13,567 --> 00:08:15,634
to make this rule, but...
169
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,801
no Vivaldi in the garage.
170
00:08:17,834 --> 00:08:19,067
Thank you.
171
00:08:19,100 --> 00:08:20,734
One of these days
172
00:08:20,767 --> 00:08:23,234
I got to get it together
and go to the symphony.
173
00:08:23,267 --> 00:08:25,767
I'm pretty sure
New York has one.
174
00:08:27,767 --> 00:08:30,033
New York has
a great symphony. Ah?
175
00:08:30,067 --> 00:08:31,601
I'd like to go, too.
176
00:08:31,634 --> 00:08:33,400
Well, uh...
177
00:08:33,434 --> 00:08:35,734
see...
178
00:08:35,767 --> 00:08:38,767
if you think
you're going to go, maybe, uh...
179
00:08:38,801 --> 00:08:42,434
maybe I could sort of tag along.
180
00:08:42,467 --> 00:08:45,100
Well, you don't
have to tag along.
181
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,200
Maybe we could go together.
182
00:08:48,267 --> 00:08:49,701
Huh...
183
00:08:49,734 --> 00:08:52,400
I just got a rush.
184
00:08:54,767 --> 00:08:56,801
Yo, Monica!
185
00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:59,100
Tony! Tony!
186
00:08:59,133 --> 00:09:00,167
Oh.
187
00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,634
Hey, everybody,
my sister, Monica.
188
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,567
( clapping and cheering )
189
00:09:04,601 --> 00:09:05,868
CABBIE:
Hi, there. Family pride.
190
00:09:05,901 --> 00:09:07,701
Hey, and this here's
Alex Rieger. Ah...
191
00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:09,701
And he's got something
to say to you.
192
00:09:09,734 --> 00:09:11,234
Oh?
Hi. Yeah. Uh...
193
00:09:11,267 --> 00:09:13,467
Oh, yeah, let me
just say, first that I can't take you
194
00:09:13,501 --> 00:09:14,901
to lunch 'cause
something came up.
195
00:09:14,934 --> 00:09:16,234
Oh, really?
That's too bad.
196
00:09:16,267 --> 00:09:18,167
Well, it's a shame,
but it's okay, because Alex here
197
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,734
has got something
he wants to say to ya.
198
00:09:19,767 --> 00:09:21,100
Oh, yeah?
199
00:09:21,133 --> 00:09:22,300
I was just going to a-as...
200
00:09:22,334 --> 00:09:23,934
He would like to know
if you would like
201
00:09:23,968 --> 00:09:25,734
to go to lunch with him
today, right, Alex?
202
00:09:25,767 --> 00:09:27,100
You were?
203
00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,267
TONY:
Sure, he was. Well, I-I...
204
00:09:28,300 --> 00:09:29,400
You really want to go
205
00:09:29,434 --> 00:09:31,601
to lunch with me,
or are you just asking me
206
00:09:31,634 --> 00:09:33,934
because my brother
asked you to ask me?
207
00:09:33,968 --> 00:09:35,334
Huh?
No, no. I was...
208
00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:37,000
TONY:
Uh, Monica, come on, I mean,
209
00:09:37,033 --> 00:09:38,234
that's insulting to Alex.
210
00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:40,734
He's asking you 'cause
he wants to ask you.
211
00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:43,167
Okay, okay, okay, great.
Let's go to lunch.
212
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,634
Well, are-are you sure
you want to do this, Monica?
213
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:46,734
I mean...
Well, uh...
214
00:09:46,767 --> 00:09:47,968
She's sure.
She's sure. Uh-huh?
215
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,534
Why is everybody
checking everything? Okay, okay. Let's go.
216
00:09:50,567 --> 00:09:51,534
Sure.
Have a good time.
217
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:52,968
( chuckles ):
Okay. Okay.
218
00:09:54,434 --> 00:09:55,601
Why you all over me for?
219
00:09:55,634 --> 00:09:57,567
Uh, am I here?
I'm sorry.
220
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,501
MONICA:
Yeah?
221
00:10:07,534 --> 00:10:09,033
( giggles )
222
00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,167
So, not a bad sublet, huh?
223
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:12,501
Hey, how much
you paying?
224
00:10:12,534 --> 00:10:13,801
$500.
225
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:14,801
How many bedrooms?
226
00:10:14,834 --> 00:10:16,801
No bedrooms.
It's a studio.
227
00:10:16,834 --> 00:10:18,133
Air conditioned?
228
00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:19,300
No.
229
00:10:19,334 --> 00:10:20,467
They include utilities?
230
00:10:20,501 --> 00:10:22,133
Uh-uh.
So what do you think?
231
00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:23,300
You sign the lease already?
232
00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:25,434
Yeah.
I love it.
233
00:10:26,634 --> 00:10:28,968
So, uh, how did it go with Alex?
234
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,834
Fine. Hey.
235
00:10:30,868 --> 00:10:33,400
Ooh, you still got
that great arm.
236
00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,167
So, uh, tell me
about your date.
237
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:39,567
Bet he took you someplace
classy, just like Alex would.
238
00:10:39,601 --> 00:10:41,734
Oh, we went
to a little hamburger place.
239
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,133
Just like Alex.
240
00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:44,968
He never
puts on airs.
241
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,801
So, uh, what did
you guys talk about?
242
00:10:46,834 --> 00:10:49,234
Well, actually, we didn't
talk all that much.
243
00:10:49,267 --> 00:10:50,968
In fact, at one point
244
00:10:51,033 --> 00:10:54,501
Alex said, "I can't
get a pause in edgewise."
245
00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:57,000
Ah. Ah!
246
00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:58,834
What an icebreaker.
247
00:10:58,868 --> 00:11:01,868
So, so when are you guys
going to see each other again?
248
00:11:01,901 --> 00:11:03,400
I don't know. I mean,
he's a nice guy
249
00:11:03,434 --> 00:11:05,334
and everything, but he's
not my type, you know?
250
00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:06,467
Your husband
was your type.
251
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:08,067
Tony, don't start.
252
00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:10,367
An Electrolux salesman
with every allergy in the book
253
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:12,033
who painted turtles
for relaxation.
254
00:11:12,067 --> 00:11:14,167
You know, you always
make so much
255
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,834
of that one time
he painted the turtle.
256
00:11:16,868 --> 00:11:18,267
Hey, Monica, listen.
257
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,100
Come here.
258
00:11:20,133 --> 00:11:22,267
You've been divorced
about a year
259
00:11:22,300 --> 00:11:23,901
and you moved
back into town.
260
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:26,033
You and I, we got a chance
to start off fresh.
261
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,100
Yeah.
So let's start.
262
00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:30,200
Man, you're my sister
and I love you.
263
00:11:31,334 --> 00:11:32,467
Okay.
264
00:11:32,501 --> 00:11:35,033
And you're my brother
and I love you.
265
00:11:36,601 --> 00:11:38,367
Now you're going
to say something
266
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,467
that's going
to drive me crazy, right?
267
00:11:40,501 --> 00:11:42,801
We all got our faults.
I'm messy around the house.
268
00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:44,434
You fall for garbage.
269
00:11:46,167 --> 00:11:48,834
Trust me enough to try
to get interested in Alex.
270
00:11:48,868 --> 00:11:50,634
No, no, not Alex.
271
00:11:50,667 --> 00:11:53,467
But I tell ya, there was
one guy in the garage
272
00:11:53,501 --> 00:11:54,801
who I thought was really sweet.
273
00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:55,868
Alex is the sweetest.
274
00:11:55,901 --> 00:11:56,868
No.
275
00:11:56,901 --> 00:11:59,267
I'm talking
about Jim Ignatowski.
276
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,033
Monica.
277
00:12:01,067 --> 00:12:02,167
Monica!
278
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,000
Not him.
The man's Silly Putty.
279
00:12:06,601 --> 00:12:09,968
The last girl Jim went out with
lived in a forest and ate bark.
280
00:12:12,334 --> 00:12:14,634
Trust me to know
you're attracted to losers.
281
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:16,434
And Alex ain't no loser,
and I set it up.
282
00:12:16,467 --> 00:12:17,968
And he likes you.
And hey, listen,
283
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,834
let me tell you,
I was worried about that,
284
00:12:19,868 --> 00:12:21,400
because he don't
like just anybody.
285
00:12:21,434 --> 00:12:22,868
Oh, yeah?
( telephone rings )
286
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:24,968
Hello?
287
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,601
Oh, hi.
288
00:12:26,634 --> 00:12:28,467
Yeah, we were just
talking about you.
289
00:12:29,601 --> 00:12:32,100
( sighs )
Yeah, yeah.
290
00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:34,334
I'd love to.
291
00:12:34,367 --> 00:12:36,334
Oh, it doesn't
make any difference.
292
00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:39,367
We could eat before
or after the symphony.
293
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,601
I'm going to straighten
your life out if it kills me.
294
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,901
Oh, well, listen,
if it's a problem for you,
295
00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:46,534
you know, we could go Dutch.
296
00:12:48,300 --> 00:12:51,300
No, it doesn't have anything
to do with wooden shoes.
297
00:12:51,334 --> 00:12:53,234
Ignatowski!
298
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:05,100
Excuse me.
299
00:13:07,334 --> 00:13:09,934
If a, uh, Mr. Ignatowski
shows up looking for me,
300
00:13:09,968 --> 00:13:11,801
could you please
give him this note?
301
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:12,834
Very good, Mademoiselle.
302
00:13:12,868 --> 00:13:13,934
Thank you.
303
00:13:13,968 --> 00:13:15,767
Oh, there he is.
304
00:13:17,934 --> 00:13:19,934
I believe
this is for you, sir.
305
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:22,367
Is this the bill
already?
306
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:24,701
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It's-it's from the lady.
307
00:13:28,734 --> 00:13:30,767
"Couldn't wait
any longer.
308
00:13:30,801 --> 00:13:34,100
Sorry I missed
you. Monica."
309
00:13:34,133 --> 00:13:35,400
Uh...
310
00:13:35,434 --> 00:13:38,300
I'm sorry, too.
311
00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:40,334
Guess I'll see you
some other time.
312
00:13:40,367 --> 00:13:42,100
Where are you going?
313
00:13:42,133 --> 00:13:44,033
We can't have dinner together.
314
00:13:44,067 --> 00:13:45,234
Why not?
315
00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:47,634
I don't know.
You didn't go into it.
316
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:48,834
No.
317
00:13:48,868 --> 00:13:51,200
I, uh, see, I wrote this note
when I thought
318
00:13:51,234 --> 00:13:53,100
that you weren't
coming here. Ah...
319
00:13:53,133 --> 00:13:55,434
But, uh... it's, uh...
it's-it's okay.
320
00:13:55,467 --> 00:13:57,467
Uh... can we take
our table back?
321
00:13:57,501 --> 00:13:59,501
WAITER:
Sit down, Mademoiselle. Thank you very much.
322
00:13:59,534 --> 00:14:00,868
Right here.
323
00:14:00,901 --> 00:14:02,634
Oh, thank you very much.
324
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:08,601
( clearing throat )
325
00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:14,267
So why were you late?
326
00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:15,601
Well, ( clears throat )
327
00:14:15,634 --> 00:14:17,634
I, uh, got a note
from Tony
328
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,267
to wait until he brought
his cab back in.
329
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:23,634
I never got
so much mail in my life.
330
00:14:23,667 --> 00:14:25,501
I can't believe it.
331
00:14:25,534 --> 00:14:27,067
I-I... what did he say?
332
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,601
He was pretty emotional
333
00:14:28,634 --> 00:14:30,601
about us not
seeing each other
334
00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:31,934
after tonight.
335
00:14:31,968 --> 00:14:33,434
I told him not to worry.
336
00:14:33,467 --> 00:14:35,901
It's not like we're
starting a big romance.
337
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,434
Would you like to order
a drink before dinner?
338
00:14:39,467 --> 00:14:42,934
Uh, bring us
your best Chablis.
339
00:14:42,968 --> 00:14:44,801
A glass or a bottle?
340
00:14:44,834 --> 00:14:46,434
I don't want a glass.
341
00:14:46,467 --> 00:14:47,801
How about you?
342
00:14:50,367 --> 00:14:51,934
Please.
343
00:14:51,968 --> 00:14:53,167
Please.
344
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:55,400
Uh, slow us down
a little, but...
345
00:14:56,501 --> 00:14:58,634
so what?
346
00:15:00,501 --> 00:15:01,934
Ooh.
347
00:15:01,968 --> 00:15:04,300
Oh, I'm sorry,
I forgot to shave.
348
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:05,634
That's all right.
349
00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:08,400
My face grows hair very fast.
350
00:15:08,434 --> 00:15:11,234
I shave, and it seems like
only a matter of days
351
00:15:11,267 --> 00:15:13,167
before it's back.
352
00:15:20,734 --> 00:15:22,834
It's been a long time
353
00:15:22,868 --> 00:15:24,434
since I've had
to be interesting.
354
00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:25,767
Well, you're
doing fine.
355
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:26,767
Oh, yeah?
356
00:15:26,801 --> 00:15:27,767
Yeah.
357
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:29,634
Well, you know...
358
00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:35,634
I don't have much hair
on my body at all.
359
00:15:37,133 --> 00:15:39,100
I mean, uh...
360
00:15:39,133 --> 00:15:41,934
compared to my face
361
00:15:41,968 --> 00:15:44,834
my skin is like
a smooth baby pumpkin.
362
00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:50,300
Uh...
363
00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:53,000
I didn't mean to talk erotic.
364
00:15:54,834 --> 00:15:57,067
Would you like to order now?
365
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,767
Uh...
366
00:15:58,801 --> 00:16:00,968
Can I take the liberty
367
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,133
of... of ordering for us?
368
00:16:03,167 --> 00:16:04,601
Okay.
369
00:16:06,267 --> 00:16:08,667
Uh...
370
00:16:11,434 --> 00:16:16,801
nous voudrions la foie gras
de canard en terrine.
371
00:16:18,567 --> 00:16:20,801
Et, encore
372
00:16:20,834 --> 00:16:24,501
le civet de lapin
pour deux personnes.
373
00:16:24,534 --> 00:16:25,534
Du lapin.
374
00:16:25,567 --> 00:16:26,767
Excellent, Monsieur.
375
00:16:26,801 --> 00:16:28,467
Excellent.
Merci beaucoup.
376
00:16:35,601 --> 00:16:37,434
Boy, you speak French.
377
00:16:37,467 --> 00:16:38,434
No.
378
00:16:38,467 --> 00:16:39,601
Huh...
379
00:16:39,634 --> 00:16:42,467
No, I just learned
what I should order.
380
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,934
Took me all day.
381
00:16:44,968 --> 00:16:46,601
You mean, you did that for me?
382
00:16:46,634 --> 00:16:48,167
That was the easy part.
383
00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,934
The hard part
was phoning all over town
384
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:53,334
trying to find a restaurant
that serves that.
385
00:16:54,801 --> 00:16:55,767
Boy.
386
00:16:55,801 --> 00:16:58,400
Boy, what a guy.
387
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,300
Come on.
388
00:17:00,334 --> 00:17:02,701
No, no, what a guy.
389
00:17:02,734 --> 00:17:04,234
Oh.
390
00:17:04,267 --> 00:17:06,267
You're turning my head.
391
00:17:10,300 --> 00:17:11,767
Oh.
392
00:17:20,801 --> 00:17:23,000
Could I, uh...
393
00:17:23,033 --> 00:17:25,033
see you again soon?
394
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:26,200
When?
395
00:17:26,234 --> 00:17:28,234
Later tonight?
396
00:17:29,934 --> 00:17:31,901
Okay.
397
00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:33,767
Uh...
398
00:17:33,801 --> 00:17:36,434
listen, I wasn't
going to say this
399
00:17:36,467 --> 00:17:38,267
unless we hit it off--
400
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,934
you know,
really liked each other.
401
00:17:39,968 --> 00:17:40,934
Yeah?
402
00:17:40,968 --> 00:17:42,300
Let's not tell Tony
403
00:17:42,334 --> 00:17:45,434
that we're going to keep
on seeing each other, okay?
404
00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:48,334
You really like me that much?
405
00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:49,601
More.
406
00:17:49,634 --> 00:17:51,934
Don't tell anyone else
in the whole garage.
407
00:17:51,968 --> 00:17:53,434
Wow.
408
00:17:53,467 --> 00:17:54,667
( laughing )
409
00:17:54,701 --> 00:17:56,334
Yeah.
410
00:18:07,767 --> 00:18:09,901
I got to tell you
something.
411
00:18:09,934 --> 00:18:11,534
You make me happy.
412
00:18:11,567 --> 00:18:14,601
I mean, even after
I first met you
413
00:18:14,634 --> 00:18:17,434
and I was alone in my apartment
lining the shelves,
414
00:18:17,467 --> 00:18:19,601
I'd think of you and I'd smile.
Oh...
415
00:18:19,634 --> 00:18:22,701
When I think of me,
I smile, too.
416
00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,234
( clears throat )
417
00:18:27,267 --> 00:18:30,767
We're both thinking of me.
418
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,367
Hey, Jim.
419
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,267
What? Huh?
420
00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:40,000
Hey, listen, uh,
something's been bothering me
421
00:18:40,033 --> 00:18:41,367
the last couple of weeks.
422
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:43,501
I probably should have
said something sooner, but...
423
00:18:43,534 --> 00:18:45,868
Hey, I'm real sorry
I had to stop you from seeing Monica.
424
00:18:45,901 --> 00:18:48,033
Oh, that's okay.
Nah. Listen,
425
00:18:48,067 --> 00:18:50,400
it's nothing personal
but sometimes you just
426
00:18:50,434 --> 00:18:52,300
got to do what your
head tells you.
427
00:18:52,334 --> 00:18:54,601
So look, I don't blame
you for being sore.
428
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:56,267
You got every right,
so if you want to,
429
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:57,801
you plant one right
here, go ahead.
430
00:18:58,968 --> 00:19:00,467
Go on, don't
worry about it.
431
00:19:00,501 --> 00:19:02,267
Plant one right
there, go ahead.
432
00:19:05,534 --> 00:19:06,868
Thanks, Tony.
433
00:19:06,901 --> 00:19:09,234
I do feel a little better.
434
00:19:10,667 --> 00:19:12,501
Now if you'll excuse me,
435
00:19:12,534 --> 00:19:14,267
I got to go see Monica.
436
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:15,767
Oops.
437
00:19:16,801 --> 00:19:18,834
Ah, Tony, Tony, now,
look, now look, now,
438
00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:20,267
I-I-I know it's none
of my business,
439
00:19:20,300 --> 00:19:21,834
but I don't think
you should interfere.
440
00:19:21,868 --> 00:19:23,834
Now come on, let's go
to Mario's and have a beer.
441
00:19:23,868 --> 00:19:25,000
Come on, I'll
buy, all right?
442
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:26,634
No, no, no.
I ain't going to Mario's.
443
00:19:26,667 --> 00:19:28,501
All you want to do
is talk some sense into me.
444
00:19:28,534 --> 00:19:30,100
I'm going over to my
sister's while I
445
00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:32,100
still got a full head of steam.
All right, all right,
446
00:19:32,133 --> 00:19:33,400
okay, okay,
keep your full head.
447
00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:35,734
But let me make
one point here.
448
00:19:35,767 --> 00:19:37,367
Now it's very clear
to an outside observer
449
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:38,734
that Monica doesn't
have a problem.
450
00:19:38,767 --> 00:19:40,400
Jim doesn't have
a problem.
451
00:19:40,434 --> 00:19:41,934
You're the one
with the problem.
452
00:19:41,968 --> 00:19:42,968
Oh, yeah, Alex?
Yeah.
453
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,033
Let me tell you something.
454
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,434
I blame you
for this whole thing.
455
00:19:45,467 --> 00:19:46,534
What do you mean
you blame me?
456
00:19:46,567 --> 00:19:48,634
If you had more on the ball,
she'd have gone for you.
457
00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:50,634
What are you
talking about? Huh, I know what you did.
458
00:19:50,667 --> 00:19:52,501
You tried some of that
dry humor on her--
459
00:19:52,534 --> 00:19:55,234
the stuff that nobody laughs,
they just say, "ooh, clever."
460
00:19:55,267 --> 00:19:56,934
Yeah...
461
00:19:56,968 --> 00:19:58,701
Tony, Tony... To...
we're crossing a line
462
00:19:58,734 --> 00:19:59,934
we don't want
to cross here.
463
00:19:59,968 --> 00:20:01,133
Remember, we're friends.
464
00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,467
Friends, Alex? We're friends?
465
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:06,033
You don't think enough of me
to go to bed with my sister.
466
00:20:11,300 --> 00:20:14,467
( flute playing )
467
00:20:18,334 --> 00:20:19,934
( blowing jug )
468
00:20:29,467 --> 00:20:31,467
Best time of my life.
469
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,701
( knocking at door )
470
00:20:41,634 --> 00:20:42,567
( door slams )
471
00:20:42,601 --> 00:20:44,567
I knocked, but I guess
you couldn't hear.
472
00:20:44,601 --> 00:20:45,767
All right, Jim, hit the road.
473
00:20:45,801 --> 00:20:47,067
I told you to stop
seeing my sister.
474
00:20:47,100 --> 00:20:48,834
Now, I want
you to l... Just wait a minute here.
475
00:20:48,868 --> 00:20:50,567
You can't come in here
and tell a guest
476
00:20:50,601 --> 00:20:51,868
of mine in my
house to leave.
477
00:20:51,901 --> 00:20:53,534
Yeah? Well, I ain't
leaving till he leaves.
478
00:20:53,567 --> 00:20:57,200
Okay, Tony, but you better
make yourself comfortable
479
00:20:57,234 --> 00:20:59,200
because I sleep over.
480
00:20:59,234 --> 00:21:00,667
Good, Jim. Good.
481
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:03,868
Of course,
we have a lot of room here.
482
00:21:03,901 --> 00:21:05,434
We'll need
a bathroom schedule.
483
00:21:05,467 --> 00:21:06,934
You're out, buddy!
You're out.
484
00:21:06,968 --> 00:21:08,434
Tony, w-what
are you doing?
485
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:09,767
Put him down!
486
00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:11,934
It's Chicago '68
all over again.
487
00:21:11,968 --> 00:21:14,267
I can't stand it
anymore, Monica.
488
00:21:14,300 --> 00:21:17,167
That's no reason to start
acting like a tough guy.
489
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:18,501
Look at him, Monica.
490
00:21:18,534 --> 00:21:19,767
He's a burnt-out loser.
491
00:21:19,801 --> 00:21:20,934
You know that for a fact?
492
00:21:20,968 --> 00:21:22,234
Come on, you don't even know
493
00:21:22,267 --> 00:21:23,767
what Washington D.C. stands for.
494
00:21:23,801 --> 00:21:24,934
District of Columbia.
495
00:21:24,968 --> 00:21:25,834
See?
496
00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:27,534
Oh, Tony.
497
00:21:27,567 --> 00:21:29,767
Come on, I wouldn't even be here
if it wasn't for you two guys.
498
00:21:29,801 --> 00:21:32,467
You told me one thing
and you did something else. Aw...
499
00:21:32,501 --> 00:21:35,534
Monica, I get... it
ain't right, Monica!
500
00:21:35,567 --> 00:21:37,200
Tony...
501
00:21:37,234 --> 00:21:38,534
I'm tired of this, Monica.
502
00:21:38,567 --> 00:21:39,868
I can't take it.
503
00:21:39,901 --> 00:21:42,234
Can I have a private
word with you?
504
00:21:46,167 --> 00:21:49,367
Tony, do you know how ridiculous
you look right now?
505
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,567
Doesn't he look
ridiculous, Monica?
506
00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:54,567
Absolutely. Not only are you
making a fool of yourself
507
00:21:54,601 --> 00:21:57,167
but your arms are starting
to get tired, right?
508
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:00,000
Huh? You know, you've
been doing this your whole life, Tony--
509
00:22:00,033 --> 00:22:01,934
getting yourself
into tight spots
510
00:22:01,968 --> 00:22:03,868
then finding out you were wrong
511
00:22:03,901 --> 00:22:05,934
when it was too late
to know what to do.
512
00:22:05,968 --> 00:22:07,601
So what are you
going to do now, huh?
513
00:22:08,634 --> 00:22:09,767
I don't know.
514
00:22:09,801 --> 00:22:12,067
Do you know, Jim?
515
00:22:12,100 --> 00:22:13,968
Hey, he got himself
into this mess.
516
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,701
Let him get himself out of it.
517
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,934
Hey, you all right?
518
00:22:21,968 --> 00:22:23,601
Well, ( clears throat )
519
00:22:23,634 --> 00:22:26,701
...my shorts are
riding a little high.
520
00:22:28,701 --> 00:22:30,400
Otherwise...
521
00:22:31,968 --> 00:22:34,000
You know, Tony,
522
00:22:34,033 --> 00:22:36,601
I knew someone
like you once.
523
00:22:43,501 --> 00:22:45,567
Is that all you're
going to say, Jim?
524
00:22:45,601 --> 00:22:47,567
I think I made my point.
525
00:22:48,667 --> 00:22:50,801
You understood that, right?
526
00:22:50,834 --> 00:22:51,834
Yeah.
527
00:22:51,868 --> 00:22:53,267
You two on anything?
528
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:54,968
Yeah, Tony.
529
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:59,200
We're on threads of hope,
trying to weave us a basket.
530
00:22:59,234 --> 00:23:01,567
I suppose you
got that one, too, huh?
531
00:23:01,601 --> 00:23:04,901
No, I bat
about .500.
532
00:23:04,934 --> 00:23:06,601
That's all right, honey.
533
00:23:06,634 --> 00:23:08,667
I don't get 'em all, either.
534
00:23:08,701 --> 00:23:11,133
Alex says everyone's
making sense but me.
535
00:23:12,601 --> 00:23:14,634
I'm sorry I busted in.
536
00:23:14,667 --> 00:23:17,968
Wow. Listen
to that.
537
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,601
He never does that.
538
00:23:19,634 --> 00:23:21,133
He never apologized.
539
00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:23,334
Well, we're really
maturing here, aren't we?
540
00:23:23,367 --> 00:23:25,100
Huh? Huh?
541
00:23:25,133 --> 00:23:26,601
I really am sorry.
542
00:23:26,634 --> 00:23:28,100
He did it again.
543
00:23:28,133 --> 00:23:29,934
Well, you
get to stay
544
00:23:29,968 --> 00:23:31,734
for dinner
for that one.
545
00:23:31,767 --> 00:23:32,834
I'm really sorry, Jim.
546
00:23:32,868 --> 00:23:36,133
Isn't this
wonderful?
547
00:23:36,167 --> 00:23:38,300
What have we all learned
from this?
548
00:23:40,834 --> 00:23:43,234
Tony's learned he can't pick
549
00:23:43,267 --> 00:23:45,701
who his sister
is going to fall for.
550
00:23:45,734 --> 00:23:48,300
Monica's learned
she can't pick
551
00:23:48,334 --> 00:23:51,167
who she's going
to fall for.
552
00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,734
And I think I've learned
the most important thing of all:
553
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,100
I love being lifted.
554
00:24:03,167 --> 00:24:05,734
( flute playing )
555
00:24:05,767 --> 00:24:06,868
( jug blowing )
556
00:24:25,601 --> 00:24:28,400
*
557
00:24:35,234 --> 00:24:38,667
( theme music playing )
558
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:03,968
WOMAN:
Night, Mr. Walters.
559
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,167
( grunts )
560
00:25:05,217 --> 00:25:09,767
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