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1
00:00:01,811 --> 00:00:02,620
Hello.
2
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:04,016
If it's all right with everyone,
3
00:00:04,066 --> 00:00:06,447
I'd like to begin this morning's
rounds with a joke.
4
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:07,325
Denise.
5
00:00:07,503 --> 00:00:08,825
I don't really have one.
6
00:00:08,899 --> 00:00:11,109
No, I meant that you were the joke.
7
00:00:11,453 --> 00:00:12,493
Oh, good one.
8
00:00:12,675 --> 00:00:14,071
Thanks.
I thought of it this morning
9
00:00:14,124 --> 00:00:17,218
while I was watching you try
to jam a catheter into Mr. Hazelton.
10
00:00:17,301 --> 00:00:18,463
Yeah, he was a screamer.
11
00:00:21,223 --> 00:00:23,177
- What's your name?
- I'm Sonia.
12
00:00:23,397 --> 00:00:24,588
But everybody calls me Sunny.
13
00:00:24,761 --> 00:00:27,582
Is it because of your haunting
resemblance to Sonny Bono?
14
00:00:27,941 --> 00:00:28,671
Who's that?
15
00:00:28,854 --> 00:00:30,118
Moving on to our next patient.
16
00:00:30,159 --> 00:00:33,732
Mr. Francone has been in a coma
for well over a year.
17
00:00:33,874 --> 00:00:35,261
His organs are starting to fail
18
00:00:35,311 --> 00:00:37,697
and he probably won't be
with us very much longer.
19
00:00:37,780 --> 00:00:42,034
The most important thing to remember
during his final hours here on Earth
20
00:00:42,069 --> 00:00:46,698
is do not ever come to me and ask me
questions about how to treat him.
21
00:00:47,261 --> 00:00:48,393
He's a potato.
22
00:00:48,717 --> 00:00:49,977
If you do,
23
00:00:50,335 --> 00:00:52,218
my answer will always be the same.
24
00:00:52,351 --> 00:00:55,329
Sour cream, chives, and if I haven't
had any protein that day,
25
00:00:55,374 --> 00:00:58,123
maybe just a sprinkling of
some of those bacon bits.
26
00:00:58,764 --> 00:00:59,723
Oh my god.
27
00:01:00,579 --> 00:01:02,024
His hand, it-- it moved.
28
00:01:04,141 --> 00:01:05,019
Kidding.
29
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:07,354
The man's a potato.
30
00:01:10,649 --> 00:01:12,603
Dr Reid, no offense,
but have you been drinking?
31
00:01:13,020 --> 00:01:13,864
Oh, no.
32
00:01:14,106 --> 00:01:16,496
I read that shampooing with beer
is good for your hair, so...
33
00:01:16,550 --> 00:01:19,602
I'm all sudsed up in the shower
this morning, and hot water dies.
34
00:01:19,685 --> 00:01:21,690
So now I've got to spend the entire
day smelling like a brewery
35
00:01:21,759 --> 00:01:24,245
because there is no way that
I'm going to rinse off with ice water.
36
00:01:24,328 --> 00:01:26,834
See, this dress only works
without a bra, so if I get cold,
37
00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:29,032
looks like I'm smuggling candy cones.
38
00:01:29,217 --> 00:01:31,630
Hi, Peggy.
This is Dr. Mahoney.
39
00:01:31,713 --> 00:01:33,367
She's going to help me
take care of you.
40
00:01:33,633 --> 00:01:35,760
- What's that smell?
- It's my hair. Okay?
41
00:01:36,443 --> 00:01:38,771
Peggy's got a touch of pneumonia,
but she's going to pull through.
42
00:01:39,172 --> 00:01:40,814
I wish my husband was here.
43
00:01:41,161 --> 00:01:43,103
He passed away several months ago.
44
00:01:43,381 --> 00:01:44,294
That sucks.
45
00:01:44,470 --> 00:01:48,613
It totally sucks.
We were together for 53 years.
46
00:01:49,590 --> 00:01:51,314
I'm sorry, Peggy,
is it cold in here? Cause it...
47
00:01:51,397 --> 00:01:54,757
It just feels a little freezing.
I'm just going to get a sweat shirt.
48
00:01:56,176 --> 00:01:56,877
I don't know.
49
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:59,141
Just hearing about how much
that old patient missed her husband
50
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:00,515
made me think of you.
51
00:02:02,144 --> 00:02:05,081
And a deep wet tongue kiss
right back at you.
52
00:02:07,121 --> 00:02:08,215
Was that JD?
53
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:09,510
No. Just my dad.
54
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,894
- Of course it was J.D.
- Oh, that's good.
55
00:02:13,241 --> 00:02:15,927
That old broad and her dead husband
got my engine revving too.
56
00:02:16,112 --> 00:02:17,214
I need some action.
57
00:02:17,619 --> 00:02:20,877
Luckily, cheeseburger day at the caf
really brings out the fatties.
58
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:22,218
Denise likes the big fellas.
59
00:02:22,587 --> 00:02:24,922
Check out the ripples
on that gentleman.
60
00:02:25,419 --> 00:02:27,794
Oh, it's like somebody threw
a boulder in a pond.
61
00:02:28,021 --> 00:02:29,209
Fat dudes rule.
62
00:02:29,292 --> 00:02:32,136
They never expect commitment
and they try so hard in the sack.
63
00:02:32,622 --> 00:02:34,703
Plus, they're just
so grateful afterwards.
64
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,119
I'm just going to put this
out here for bait,
65
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,718
and see what ambles
out of the forest.
66
00:02:40,585 --> 00:02:41,313
Gooch!
67
00:02:41,637 --> 00:02:44,289
I forgot to tell you.
I have a girlfriend now.
68
00:02:44,716 --> 00:02:47,199
Stephanie Gooch, this is Elliot,
69
00:02:47,282 --> 00:02:48,357
and this is...
70
00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:50,543
some girl who digs fat guys.
71
00:02:51,479 --> 00:02:53,361
Come on Gooch.
There's like...
72
00:02:53,444 --> 00:02:57,063
75 other people you haven't met
who don't believe you exist.
73
00:02:57,537 --> 00:02:59,098
Hey Miguel!
74
00:02:59,491 --> 00:03:02,902
This is the girlfriend and she is real.
In your face!
75
00:03:06,047 --> 00:03:07,365
Baby, baby, baby.
76
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:10,370
I was pulling some dude's
spleen out today, and check it.
77
00:03:10,752 --> 00:03:13,307
Blood splashed on my scrubs.
Looks like a tiger.
78
00:03:14,822 --> 00:03:16,244
Why is that part a different color?
79
00:03:16,383 --> 00:03:18,360
I might have used chocolate
pudding to do the tail.
80
00:03:18,741 --> 00:03:21,350
That's awesome, Turk, but
I have to tell you something.
81
00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:23,008
- What's up?
- I'm pregnant.
82
00:03:23,482 --> 00:03:24,626
What? I knew it!
83
00:03:24,858 --> 00:03:28,370
Cause these past couple of months,
your butt's been like... Pow!
84
00:03:28,650 --> 00:03:29,910
It's only been two weeks.
85
00:03:30,234 --> 00:03:33,095
Baby, this is big news. And I want
to talk to you about it. I do.
86
00:03:33,313 --> 00:03:34,550
First I got to go to the bathroom.
87
00:03:34,602 --> 00:03:36,751
It's too soon so don't tell anyone.
88
00:03:36,933 --> 00:03:39,518
Why would you even think
I would do something like that?
89
00:03:40,639 --> 00:03:42,084
J.D.! I got news!
90
00:03:42,997 --> 00:03:45,056
J.D.! Where are you friend?
91
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:48,834
You seen J.D.?
92
00:03:48,917 --> 00:03:51,276
No, I have not.
Would you like to know why?
93
00:03:51,635 --> 00:03:55,924
He isn't coming in today. He is on a
mini-vacation and it isn't just today.
94
00:03:56,363 --> 00:03:59,220
He's not coming in tomorrow,
which by the way is my day off,
95
00:03:59,303 --> 00:04:00,918
but not anymore.
96
00:04:01,172 --> 00:04:03,223
I am coming in early,
and I'm staying late,
97
00:04:03,224 --> 00:04:06,967
because life is too darn short to
spend the day bonding with my family,
98
00:04:07,185 --> 00:04:10,070
when I could be roaming the halls
of this hospital
99
00:04:10,071 --> 00:04:13,324
without the possibility of running
into that bearded hug monster
100
00:04:13,359 --> 00:04:14,902
you call a best friend.
101
00:04:23,141 --> 00:04:25,360
Sorry I took so long, honey,
the line was long.
102
00:04:26,852 --> 00:04:29,488
- How'd J.D. take the news?
- He's not here today.
103
00:04:30,055 --> 00:04:31,523
I can't believe you.
104
00:04:31,766 --> 00:04:33,810
Yeah right.
Like you weren't just telling Elliot.
105
00:04:33,893 --> 00:04:36,538
I wasn't, because when I say
something is between us as a couple,
106
00:04:36,621 --> 00:04:38,032
it stays between us.
107
00:04:38,899 --> 00:04:39,835
I'm sorry.
108
00:04:41,558 --> 00:04:43,362
Got to go. Congratulations.
109
00:04:44,853 --> 00:04:45,778
All right?
110
00:04:52,646 --> 00:04:53,510
I had...
111
00:04:53,511 --> 00:04:55,138
- The test results...
- Intern...
112
00:04:54,180 --> 00:04:57,211
- The bleeding and...
- I know... yeah.
113
00:05:07,326 --> 00:05:08,346
My Absence
114
00:05:08,356 --> 00:05:11,826
Scrubs Season 8 Episode 9
My Absence
115
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,609
Baby, it's not fair.
116
00:05:14,692 --> 00:05:16,999
You told Elliot, and got
that huge excited reaction.
117
00:05:17,082 --> 00:05:18,856
I deserve to get that
from someone too.
118
00:05:19,122 --> 00:05:20,970
- One person.
- One person, thank you.
119
00:05:22,152 --> 00:05:24,036
Hey, Elliot.
Let me tell J.D. about the baby.
120
00:05:24,337 --> 00:05:25,134
Already did it.
121
00:05:25,643 --> 00:05:28,186
[J.D.] Anyway, tell Turk,
that's great news about his baby.
122
00:05:28,395 --> 00:05:29,260
That's it?
123
00:05:29,343 --> 00:05:31,690
Elliot, why would you put me
on speaker without telling me?
124
00:05:32,071 --> 00:05:33,768
Turk, I'm so excited for you!
125
00:05:33,851 --> 00:05:35,470
Too little too late, buddy!
126
00:05:35,716 --> 00:05:36,500
Turk!
127
00:05:36,548 --> 00:05:38,222
I don't want to talk to you J.D.!
128
00:05:38,604 --> 00:05:40,033
- No.
- Turk!
129
00:05:40,063 --> 00:05:42,213
- Not here!
- Elliot, is Turk still there?
130
00:05:43,670 --> 00:05:45,069
No, he's gone.
131
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:46,246
Good, because let's face it,
132
00:05:46,247 --> 00:05:48,471
everybody's having babies,
it's getting a little boring.
133
00:05:48,606 --> 00:05:49,347
Dude!
134
00:05:49,530 --> 00:05:51,495
Elliot, take me off speaker!
135
00:05:51,703 --> 00:05:52,841
I'm trying!
136
00:05:53,299 --> 00:05:54,559
Stupid technology!
137
00:05:55,450 --> 00:05:56,259
See you soon.
138
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,571
Dr. Cox, two quick things.
139
00:05:58,837 --> 00:06:00,407
First off, I looked at
a picture of Sonny Bono.
140
00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:02,200
- My feelings are very very hurt.
- Noted.
141
00:06:02,235 --> 00:06:03,326
Apology accepted.
142
00:06:03,409 --> 00:06:06,132
Second, I know we aren't supposed
to ask you about Mr. Francone.
143
00:06:06,317 --> 00:06:08,120
- "The potato".
- Right!
144
00:06:08,357 --> 00:06:10,351
See, the thing is,
his sister just called from London.
145
00:06:10,434 --> 00:06:12,364
and she was hoping
we could keep Mr. Francone,
146
00:06:12,653 --> 00:06:13,567
"The potato",
147
00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:16,029
alive until she got here.
Can you please help?
148
00:06:16,214 --> 00:06:17,347
Let me see his chart.
149
00:06:17,671 --> 00:06:20,341
I'll tell you what to do first.
Go ahead and write this down.
150
00:06:21,109 --> 00:06:23,673
Wrap him in foil,
and poke holes in him with a fork
151
00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:25,243
so he cooks all the way through.
152
00:06:25,464 --> 00:06:26,035
Come on!
153
00:06:26,128 --> 00:06:28,466
Sunshine, I have neither
the inclination nor the time
154
00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:30,682
to care about people
who I cannot help.
155
00:06:30,701 --> 00:06:34,261
If you're looking for someone
whose heartstrings you can tug, well...
156
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:36,787
There's your gal.
157
00:06:37,138 --> 00:06:39,746
She cares.
In fact, it's her only real fault.
158
00:06:39,829 --> 00:06:41,622
Look at her over there.
She's caring right now.
159
00:06:41,864 --> 00:06:43,495
Go!
Go, go, go, go!
160
00:06:45,951 --> 00:06:47,512
Actually, yeah. Dr. Cox is here.
161
00:06:47,731 --> 00:06:49,591
[J.D.] God help me.
I could sense it.
162
00:06:49,674 --> 00:06:50,852
Put me in his pocket.
163
00:06:51,164 --> 00:06:51,881
J.D.!
164
00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:54,425
Elliot, please. I want this.
165
00:07:00,943 --> 00:07:02,380
I miss my boyfriend so much.
166
00:07:02,435 --> 00:07:04,589
If he were here,
I might actually lick his face.
167
00:07:04,854 --> 00:07:06,391
Thank you, Dr. Appropriate.
168
00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:09,119
Peggy, I'm going to have
a quick chat with these two.
169
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:10,120
- Okay, sweety?
- Thanks Bob.
170
00:07:11,791 --> 00:07:14,304
Send Peggy for an A.B.G.
and a chest C.T.
171
00:07:14,387 --> 00:07:16,832
and when you're done,
send her sputum for atypicals.
172
00:07:17,051 --> 00:07:19,462
Dr. Kelso, you do realize that
you don't work here anymore?
173
00:07:19,545 --> 00:07:21,358
Look, her husband
was an old friend.
174
00:07:21,630 --> 00:07:24,744
Plus, I have forgotten more
about medicine
175
00:07:24,827 --> 00:07:26,682
Than you two will ever know.
176
00:07:27,298 --> 00:07:29,595
I don't know you,
but I assume I have you beat
177
00:07:29,630 --> 00:07:33,365
because you're blonde and you're
rolling with Dr. Reeks-Of-Beer.
178
00:07:33,545 --> 00:07:34,972
It's my hair, okay?
179
00:07:35,154 --> 00:07:36,723
Yeah and watch the lip, Grandpa.
180
00:07:36,771 --> 00:07:38,706
Because you wouldn't be
the first old man I ever beat up.
181
00:07:39,901 --> 00:07:42,707
I like her. She's got girl balls.
182
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:47,591
[J.D.] I love listening to you work.
183
00:07:48,111 --> 00:07:51,992
Come on. Admit it.
You miss me as much as I miss you.
184
00:07:53,961 --> 00:07:56,091
There you go, Dorian.
That's what I think of you as a person.
185
00:07:56,189 --> 00:07:58,266
I hope you enjoyed it.
Here, you.
186
00:07:59,045 --> 00:08:01,211
I didn't hear it all, but that
sounded harsh. Are you okay?
187
00:08:01,268 --> 00:08:02,270
No.
188
00:08:02,422 --> 00:08:05,185
Hey, Teddy, Carla said
I could tell something
189
00:08:05,236 --> 00:08:07,534
to just one person,
so here it goes!
190
00:08:08,067 --> 00:08:09,693
Carla and I are having a baby!
191
00:08:09,939 --> 00:08:11,046
Oh, great.
192
00:08:11,327 --> 00:08:12,555
What the hell is the matter
with you people?
193
00:08:12,596 --> 00:08:14,117
Carla and I are having a baby!
194
00:08:14,508 --> 00:08:16,954
No, you're having
a second baby.
195
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,068
It's not that big a deal.
196
00:08:19,128 --> 00:08:21,373
When we had ours,
we barely told anybody.
197
00:08:21,575 --> 00:08:22,906
You had a second kid?
198
00:08:23,028 --> 00:08:24,992
A little girl.
You held her in your arms.
199
00:08:25,141 --> 00:08:26,564
Mazel tov to you both.
200
00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:28,791
Can a brother get
at least a mazel tov?
201
00:08:28,901 --> 00:08:31,361
Gooch and I are gonna
hold off on the babies.
202
00:08:31,404 --> 00:08:32,899
We've only known each other a week.
203
00:08:33,027 --> 00:08:37,270
Plus, with all the cycling, apparently
I've done a real number on my sperm.
204
00:08:37,964 --> 00:08:39,941
Mine don't have any tails.
205
00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:43,507
They're just kind of blobs
that roll from place to place.
206
00:08:43,665 --> 00:08:45,012
Oh, hey, everybody,
I'll tell you someone
207
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,065
who just did have
their first baby.
208
00:08:47,964 --> 00:08:49,665
Whitman up in radiology!
209
00:08:49,788 --> 00:08:51,210
Come on!
Whitman! Come on!
210
00:08:51,278 --> 00:08:53,395
No! Whitman's not even here!
211
00:08:54,504 --> 00:08:56,035
Nurse Espinoza.
Carla.
212
00:08:56,158 --> 00:08:57,340
Look, I know you're not working tonight,
213
00:08:57,341 --> 00:08:58,709
but I was hoping
you could stay and help me
214
00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:01,077
keep my coma patient alive
until his sister gets here.
215
00:09:01,213 --> 00:09:03,213
What do you say?
A little coffee and girl talk?
216
00:09:03,261 --> 00:09:04,456
It might be fun.
217
00:09:05,085 --> 00:09:07,293
Anyway, Dr. Cox said that
you were the one I should ask.
218
00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:08,939
He did, did he?
219
00:09:10,497 --> 00:09:11,003
Hi!
220
00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:11,946
Hi!
221
00:09:13,477 --> 00:09:15,899
So. Can you stay
and help me out tonight?
222
00:09:16,497 --> 00:09:17,843
I'll see what I can do.
223
00:09:17,945 --> 00:09:18,806
Yay!
224
00:09:19,175 --> 00:09:20,008
Dial it down.
225
00:09:20,296 --> 00:09:21,007
Yay.
226
00:09:26,906 --> 00:09:28,123
You eating lunch?
227
00:09:28,328 --> 00:09:29,558
What gave it away?
228
00:09:29,845 --> 00:09:31,746
J.D. and I usually
eat lunch together.
229
00:09:31,909 --> 00:09:33,494
Oh, god, here it comes.
230
00:09:33,959 --> 00:09:37,038
J.D. was sitting in that exact chair
when we had our third kiss.
231
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:38,452
Oh, that's very romantic.
232
00:09:38,498 --> 00:09:40,928
I will try not to drill
any more farts into it.
233
00:09:41,283 --> 00:09:44,309
I just feel like something's
been weighing me down all day.
234
00:09:44,748 --> 00:09:47,317
I mean, sure, I was in the X-ray room
a couple of hours ago,
235
00:09:47,389 --> 00:09:49,974
and when I left, I totally forgot
to take off the lead vest, but...
236
00:09:50,261 --> 00:09:52,964
it's off now,
and the weight's still there.
237
00:09:53,473 --> 00:09:55,443
I mean, it's not as bad,
but it's pretty bad.
238
00:09:56,108 --> 00:09:58,067
It just sucks, you know?
239
00:09:58,213 --> 00:10:00,181
I don't see how
it could get any worse.
240
00:10:02,509 --> 00:10:03,967
I don't understand
how this happened.
241
00:10:04,063 --> 00:10:05,115
She just went like that.
242
00:10:08,219 --> 00:10:10,190
Hey, Dr. Turk,
what are you working on?
243
00:10:10,313 --> 00:10:12,522
Signing a death certificate
for a kid who...
244
00:10:12,577 --> 00:10:14,263
Oh! Good for you!
245
00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:16,425
Hey, listen. Were you
one of the people
246
00:10:16,507 --> 00:10:18,052
who didn't believe
I had a girlfriend?
247
00:10:18,106 --> 00:10:20,426
Because, bam!
There she is!
248
00:10:20,484 --> 00:10:22,863
Wow. She's...
too cute for you, Ted.
249
00:10:22,931 --> 00:10:24,585
Right? Spread the word.
250
00:10:24,715 --> 00:10:26,364
Stephanie, this is Dr. Turk.
251
00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:27,968
- Hey.
- How's it going?
252
00:10:28,158 --> 00:10:30,823
It's pretty good.
I'm having a baby, you know.
253
00:10:30,946 --> 00:10:32,094
Is this your first?
254
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:35,417
Well, yes it is.
255
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,919
That is so awesome!
Congratulations!
256
00:10:37,988 --> 00:10:39,499
That's what I was looking for!
257
00:10:39,641 --> 00:10:42,183
I want to know everything.
Do you want to talk about it?
258
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:43,959
Gooch, let's go talk about it.
259
00:10:47,785 --> 00:10:48,947
Good night, Dr. Cox.
260
00:10:49,543 --> 00:10:51,183
Isn't Carla staying
to help you out?
261
00:10:51,243 --> 00:10:52,637
She said she had things to do.
262
00:10:52,787 --> 00:10:54,735
But that's okay. I know
I haven't been a doctor long,
263
00:10:54,806 --> 00:10:57,694
but I'm great at placing IV's,
and you know, giving pills to people,
264
00:10:57,829 --> 00:10:58,972
So I should be fine.
265
00:11:01,315 --> 00:11:03,052
Oh, good.
You're gone, too.
266
00:11:06,368 --> 00:11:08,514
Peggy was a sweet old bird.
267
00:11:09,435 --> 00:11:11,021
She only had a pneumonia.
268
00:11:11,329 --> 00:11:14,024
She and her husband
were together for 50 years.
269
00:11:14,815 --> 00:11:18,321
Sometimes in those cases,
it's not the illness that gets you.
270
00:11:18,389 --> 00:11:23,155
I mean, your soul mate's gone
and, your body just gives up.
271
00:11:23,469 --> 00:11:25,817
I actually think
it's kind of sweet.
272
00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:28,811
I don't know,
If I ever get married...
273
00:11:30,041 --> 00:11:32,061
And my husband dies
before me...
274
00:11:34,118 --> 00:11:36,072
I'm sure that I'll have enough
going on in my own life
275
00:11:36,167 --> 00:11:37,836
that I'll want
to keep on living, you know?
276
00:11:38,504 --> 00:11:41,621
Well, that's just some quality
crap you're spewing there.
277
00:11:41,692 --> 00:11:44,904
You've been moping around here all day
just because Dorian's been gone,
278
00:11:44,939 --> 00:11:46,725
what, 12 hours?
279
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,855
And I'm guessing you didn't
hear a word I just said
280
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:50,580
because you're busy looking
at your telephone
281
00:11:50,629 --> 00:11:54,502
to see if he has texted you
in the last five minutes, did he?
282
00:11:56,036 --> 00:11:56,793
Yes.
283
00:11:57,253 --> 00:11:58,879
"Thinking of you".
See?
284
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:02,042
And there's the smile, you see.
285
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:03,043
You're no different
from Peggy.
286
00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:07,357
What are you saying, that if J.D. Died,
I would just die right afterwards.
287
00:12:07,406 --> 00:12:09,028
Well, I could only hope.
288
00:12:09,540 --> 00:12:10,869
But my point is,
289
00:12:11,224 --> 00:12:13,509
don't stand there
being judgmental about her
290
00:12:13,510 --> 00:12:15,328
when you're no different.
291
00:12:23,099 --> 00:12:24,500
What are you doing here?
292
00:12:24,582 --> 00:12:26,920
Well, I think the better question is
what are you doing here?
293
00:12:27,015 --> 00:12:27,997
I live here.
294
00:12:28,478 --> 00:12:30,812
That's not the better question.
It's the worst question.
295
00:12:31,157 --> 00:12:33,972
Why aren't you at the hospital
helping cheery annoying intern?
296
00:12:34,237 --> 00:12:35,476
I had stuff to do.
297
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:38,022
What gives you the right
to give me a hard time?
298
00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,874
Why aren't you at the hospital
helping Sunny?
299
00:12:40,045 --> 00:12:43,667
Because I don't give a damn about
terminal coma patients or interns.
300
00:12:43,926 --> 00:12:46,383
I get to not give a damn because
I know that you always will.
301
00:12:46,444 --> 00:12:47,579
I mean, give me a break, carla.
302
00:12:47,647 --> 00:12:50,572
Tell me the last time that
you ever walked off on a patient.
303
00:12:50,626 --> 00:12:53,333
The guy's been in a coma
for a year, okay?
304
00:12:53,428 --> 00:12:54,363
He's an eggplant.
305
00:12:54,574 --> 00:12:56,228
Okay, first of all,
he's not an eggplant.
306
00:12:56,638 --> 00:12:57,732
He's a potato.
307
00:12:57,900 --> 00:13:00,383
And secondly, that's something
I would say, not you.
308
00:13:00,811 --> 00:13:03,917
You used to care so much
about this stuff, remember?
309
00:13:04,060 --> 00:13:05,290
What happened to you?
310
00:13:10,142 --> 00:13:12,534
It's always good to slam a door
right about now.
311
00:13:19,945 --> 00:13:21,124
Hey, Sunny.
312
00:13:21,736 --> 00:13:23,007
How'd it go last night?
313
00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:23,827
Great.
314
00:13:23,950 --> 00:13:24,899
Thank god.
315
00:13:25,207 --> 00:13:27,731
I mean, he crashed a few times,
but I brought him back.
316
00:13:28,262 --> 00:13:29,630
I mean, really,
the only scary moment
317
00:13:29,687 --> 00:13:32,403
was when he seized while I was
injecting him with dopamine.
318
00:13:32,515 --> 00:13:34,959
The needle slipped, and I
accidentally stabbed myself with it.
319
00:13:35,041 --> 00:13:36,148
But I only freaked out
for a second
320
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,554
until I remembered
that comas aren't contagious.
321
00:13:38,724 --> 00:13:39,845
And then
the dopamine kicked in,
322
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:41,679
which actually made
the whole night more enjoyable.
323
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,616
But now I'm sort of jonesing
for another hit.
324
00:13:44,109 --> 00:13:45,076
Is that bad?
325
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:47,925
Let's go downstairs
and get you some juice.
326
00:13:49,019 --> 00:13:51,493
Kelso's right. J.D.'s gone,
and I'm miserable.
327
00:13:51,575 --> 00:13:53,910
I used to be such a strong,
independent woman,
328
00:13:53,985 --> 00:13:56,686
Did you know, once, I actually changed
the oil in my car all by myself?
329
00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,160
Saved 30 bucks.
330
00:13:58,203 --> 00:13:59,035
Cool.
331
00:13:59,308 --> 00:14:02,235
Yeah. Unfortunately, I dumped
the dirty old oil into a storm drain.
332
00:14:02,288 --> 00:14:04,734
The department of fish and wildlife
fined me 1,400 bucks
333
00:14:04,769 --> 00:14:06,606
and declared me
an "enemy of the ocean",
334
00:14:06,607 --> 00:14:07,726
whatever the hell that means.
335
00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:11,555
Hey! I know I usually
write songs for kids,
336
00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,093
but I wrote a song for you.
Do you want to hear it?
337
00:14:14,218 --> 00:14:15,091
Yeah.
338
00:14:15,997 --> 00:14:19,056
# You knocked up your lady
# Now you're having a baby
339
00:14:19,184 --> 00:14:21,555
# 'Cause you're gonna be
a first-time dad
340
00:14:21,954 --> 00:14:24,740
# People used to tell you
# That your life was meant to
341
00:14:24,865 --> 00:14:27,265
# Procreate a family of your own
342
00:14:28,042 --> 00:14:30,851
# Then you went and did it
# 'Cause you finally did it
343
00:14:30,886 --> 00:14:33,373
# Now you're going to have
your own Turk clone
344
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,522
# There's a little baby
in your lady's soft womb
345
00:14:36,990 --> 00:14:39,732
# So just sit tight and
don't get out the vacuum
346
00:14:39,857 --> 00:14:42,736
# It's time to realize
that your life is gonna change soon
347
00:14:42,737 --> 00:14:43,864
# You'll be a dad
348
00:14:43,965 --> 00:14:45,454
# First-time, first-time,
you're a dad
349
00:14:45,489 --> 00:14:47,717
# First-time, first-time,
and remember...
350
00:14:51,296 --> 00:14:53,179
Did you tell her
it was our first baby?
351
00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,529
It's not your first?
352
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,517
It's our first
since our first.
353
00:14:57,517 --> 00:14:58,220
Hey, Carla.
354
00:14:58,281 --> 00:15:01,100
Were you one of those people
who didn't believe I had a girlfriend?
355
00:15:01,139 --> 00:15:02,134
Not now, Ted.
356
00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:04,999
When Izzy's 15
and she's trying to decide
357
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:08,173
which one of us she likes better,
I'm so going to use this.
358
00:15:15,219 --> 00:15:16,652
What is your problem?
359
00:15:16,777 --> 00:15:19,646
My husband's telling everybody that
I'm pregnant with our first child.
360
00:15:19,771 --> 00:15:21,033
Carla, if you're going to get upset
361
00:15:21,034 --> 00:15:23,255
every time your husband
does something stupid,
362
00:15:23,300 --> 00:15:25,594
then you're going to be upset
every second of every minute,
363
00:15:25,703 --> 00:15:27,693
every minute of every hour,
every hour of every day,
364
00:15:27,728 --> 00:15:28,909
- Every day...
- Stop.
365
00:15:29,034 --> 00:15:30,975
I was prepared to go to century,
366
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,837
but that's not why I'm here.
367
00:15:32,962 --> 00:15:35,459
I know. I left the poor intern
alone last night.
368
00:15:35,584 --> 00:15:36,681
I can't believe I did that.
369
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:38,445
I mean, don't get me wrong.
She did a great job.
370
00:15:38,936 --> 00:15:40,011
Although, when she had a nightmare
371
00:15:40,087 --> 00:15:42,044
that the coma patient
woke up and stabbed her,
372
00:15:42,131 --> 00:15:43,382
she actually tied
the patient to the bed,
373
00:15:43,383 --> 00:15:45,200
which she probably shouldn't
have done, but that's on me.
374
00:15:45,235 --> 00:15:46,803
So go ahead,
rub it in my face.
375
00:15:46,928 --> 00:15:49,721
As much as I'm a huge fan
of a good old-fashioned face rubbing,
376
00:15:49,846 --> 00:15:52,315
I'm here to apologize.
377
00:15:53,217 --> 00:15:55,386
[J.D.] Apologize for what?
Elliot, slow down!
378
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:57,076
No, J.D!
You're talking to me.
379
00:15:57,308 --> 00:15:58,223
Fine.
380
00:15:58,708 --> 00:16:00,676
You sound upset, what's wrong?
381
00:16:01,159 --> 00:16:02,490
I don't want to get into it.
382
00:16:02,615 --> 00:16:04,896
You know what I do when
I need to clear my head?
383
00:16:05,021 --> 00:16:07,924
I just let my mind drift
and fantasize about stuff.
384
00:16:08,049 --> 00:16:09,388
Yeah! I've noticed.
385
00:16:11,707 --> 00:16:13,473
J.D., you're fantasizing
right now, aren't you?
386
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:16,627
That's why you should
never trust a camel.
387
00:16:18,097 --> 00:16:19,883
Hey, man, I wanted
to warn you.
388
00:16:19,984 --> 00:16:21,664
Stay clear of my girlfriend.
389
00:16:21,752 --> 00:16:23,991
The Gooch does not like
being lied to.
390
00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,773
I'm pretty sure
I can handle it, Ted.
391
00:16:25,898 --> 00:16:28,593
Why did you lie about that
being your first kid anyway?
392
00:16:28,718 --> 00:16:30,915
'Cause when Carla told me
about the new baby,
393
00:16:30,976 --> 00:16:33,975
I didn't get that crazy excited feeling
I got when I heard about Izzy.
394
00:16:34,342 --> 00:16:36,308
- I'm an idiot
- Nah.
395
00:16:36,509 --> 00:16:38,017
It's just your second kid.
396
00:16:38,447 --> 00:16:40,107
Look, I don't know if you noticed,
397
00:16:40,108 --> 00:16:43,445
but I've been kinda, like, jazzed
about this being my first girlfriend.
398
00:16:43,487 --> 00:16:45,831
You know, it's new and exciting.
399
00:16:46,124 --> 00:16:47,470
But when she dumps me,
400
00:16:47,471 --> 00:16:49,535
and believe me, it's coming
like a freight train,
401
00:16:49,725 --> 00:16:52,459
I'll try to find a new gal.
And if I do,
402
00:16:52,494 --> 00:16:56,659
it probably won't have that initial
excitement that the first one did.
403
00:16:56,784 --> 00:16:59,410
But that doesn't mean
it wouldn't be great,
404
00:16:59,535 --> 00:17:02,156
'cause, I mean, I'd be having
a second girlfriend.
405
00:17:04,717 --> 00:17:07,529
Does this have anything to do
with your situation?
406
00:17:07,986 --> 00:17:08,808
Kind of.
407
00:17:09,423 --> 00:17:12,088
I know, we had a great ride.
Still friends?
408
00:17:12,213 --> 00:17:14,648
- Not you, Ted!
- Ooh! Still alive!
409
00:17:14,895 --> 00:17:17,097
So help me, if you ever make me
look like a fool again,
410
00:17:17,222 --> 00:17:19,589
I'll bash your face in with this thing
until it is a million pieces.
411
00:17:19,714 --> 00:17:21,821
- Are we clear?
- Crystal.
412
00:17:21,856 --> 00:17:22,719
Good.
413
00:17:26,486 --> 00:17:27,461
Nope.
414
00:17:28,037 --> 00:17:30,691
The Gooch does not like
being lied to.
415
00:17:32,867 --> 00:17:34,428
Whose room is this?
416
00:17:34,553 --> 00:17:36,019
Kelso's dead friend.
417
00:17:36,474 --> 00:17:38,364
Oh, yeah, that old biddy.
418
00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:40,868
You see?
419
00:17:41,204 --> 00:17:42,716
I never used to say stuff like that.
420
00:17:42,976 --> 00:17:45,582
You know, death doesn't bother me,
unless it's someone I know,
421
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:49,685
and even then, if it happens
in a funny way, like my cousin
422
00:17:49,810 --> 00:17:52,763
who, honest to god,
was flattened by a steamroller,
423
00:17:52,888 --> 00:17:54,145
I still actually enjoy it.
424
00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:57,652
I abandoned an intern who was
just trying to keep her patient alive
425
00:17:57,777 --> 00:17:59,389
so his sister could say good-bye.
426
00:17:59,573 --> 00:18:02,619
Look. Sooner or later,
everybody in this place
427
00:18:02,654 --> 00:18:06,406
stops caring about hopeless,
terminally ill brain-dead coma patients
428
00:18:06,450 --> 00:18:09,037
and interns who want
to save the world.
429
00:18:09,268 --> 00:18:13,643
You somehow managed to hang on
quite a bit longer than the rest of us.
430
00:18:15,156 --> 00:18:17,843
Carla, you are a wonderful nurse.
431
00:18:18,069 --> 00:18:21,549
You got a husband, plus you got a kid,
plus you got another kid coming.
432
00:18:22,181 --> 00:18:25,994
It was completely unfair of me
to expect more of you than
433
00:18:26,029 --> 00:18:27,697
anyone else in this dump.
434
00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:29,963
And brace yourself,
'cause here it comes.
435
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:35,043
I, Percival Ulysses Cox,
436
00:18:35,917 --> 00:18:37,126
am sorry.
437
00:18:37,803 --> 00:18:38,827
Ulysses?
438
00:18:39,432 --> 00:18:40,232
Shh, shh, shh.
439
00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:47,009
So just call him already.
You know you want to.
440
00:18:47,134 --> 00:18:49,047
No. I don't want to end up
being an old lady
441
00:18:49,082 --> 00:18:51,919
who's so dependent on her partner that
she just croaks right after he does.
442
00:18:52,044 --> 00:18:54,381
I wish I was emotionally healthy
enough to love someone
443
00:18:54,506 --> 00:18:56,161
so much that I died after they did.
444
00:18:56,286 --> 00:18:58,113
I was with that dude last night.
445
00:18:58,370 --> 00:18:59,716
Only way I'm going to die after him
446
00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,742
is if he had a heart attack
while he was on top of me.
447
00:19:03,027 --> 00:19:04,926
Crap, I just turned myself on.
448
00:19:05,212 --> 00:19:05,945
Rudy!
449
00:19:07,223 --> 00:19:08,385
Upstairs.
450
00:19:08,895 --> 00:19:11,356
God help me,
I like that crazy bitch.
451
00:19:11,481 --> 00:19:13,948
I thought it'd be different
this time with J.D.
452
00:19:14,073 --> 00:19:16,484
I didn't think I'd let myself
get so vulnerable.
453
00:19:16,609 --> 00:19:17,916
Well, that's dumb.
454
00:19:18,426 --> 00:19:21,978
Relationships are
about taking a leap of faith.
455
00:19:22,103 --> 00:19:24,723
That's why it's called
"jumping in".
456
00:19:24,848 --> 00:19:27,839
Now, Dorian seems to make you happy.
God knows why.
457
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,216
Isn't that enough?
458
00:19:32,441 --> 00:19:33,263
[J.D.] Hello?
459
00:19:35,145 --> 00:19:36,331
I miss you.
460
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:41,095
I get why it wigged you out.
461
00:19:41,252 --> 00:19:44,299
At the end of the day,
relationships are tricky.
462
00:19:44,424 --> 00:19:47,599
Please don't do, that whole
philosophical pontificating thing.
463
00:19:47,724 --> 00:19:48,714
Okay.
464
00:19:49,505 --> 00:19:51,548
- Fine. Go ahead.
- Thanks.
465
00:19:51,673 --> 00:19:54,312
Things are always different
the second time around.
466
00:19:54,437 --> 00:19:56,859
You are about to be
a big sister, Izzy.
467
00:19:56,984 --> 00:19:58,064
Yes you are!
468
00:19:59,178 --> 00:20:02,339
You just have to remember, that even if
things are changing all around you,
469
00:20:02,464 --> 00:20:04,323
deep down,
you're still the same person.
470
00:20:04,611 --> 00:20:05,679
I guess.
471
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,163
Hey, Carla.
Can I talk to you for a second?
472
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,862
You know you're not supposed
to be working tonight, right?
473
00:20:13,987 --> 00:20:15,226
Yeah, I know.
474
00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:18,619
Sunny said the sister would be here
in about six hours, and...
475
00:20:19,427 --> 00:20:22,900
I'm not ready to let go
that part of myself yet.
476
00:20:23,356 --> 00:20:25,294
- You know?
- Yes.
477
00:20:26,128 --> 00:20:28,582
- Do you want to stay and help?
- No, I do not.
478
00:20:29,910 --> 00:20:31,519
Good night, Ulysses.
479
00:20:42,287 --> 00:20:43,391
[J.D.] Hi Perry!
480
00:20:44,626 --> 00:20:47,808
Probably checking your pockets
right now, but I'm not there.
481
00:20:48,076 --> 00:20:51,218
See, I had Elliot hide me
somewhere in your office.
482
00:20:51,343 --> 00:20:55,011
Now while I've got you, I thought
we could discuss our relationship.
483
00:20:55,483 --> 00:20:58,207
It's had some ups,
and it's had some downs.
484
00:20:58,445 --> 00:21:00,985
I'm going to start
by passing out some gold stars.
485
00:21:01,110 --> 00:21:04,077
The first one goes to you
for your passion.
486
00:21:04,827 --> 00:21:08,302
The next one goes to me
for my compassion.
487
00:21:08,427 --> 00:21:11,205
What I think we should do
is take passion and compassion...
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