All language subtitles for Scrubs s08e04 ace.eng

Life's great.

With the janitor fired,
I can walk the halls without fear.

I don't even hesitate
around corners any more.

But maybe I should.

I-can-feel-a-little-JD-five?

No thanks, Todd.

But I can and I want my five.

Plus, Elliot and I were better
friends than we've been in a long time.

We were going to movies.

- I really liked that.
- Oprah produced it.

We were going out to dinner.

My salmon was great.

You know, Oprah owns that restaurant.

And on weekends, when I had Sam,
she even came over for breakfasts.

I could make pancakes,
or we could have...

Oprah O's!

And check this out.

Who wants to eat some cereal?

That's funny.

That's it?

Not only did I rig this box,
but I got...

Whitney in payroll
to tape her Oprah voice.

I've been working on this joke
for over a week,

and all you can muster
is a little chuckle?

Who wants to eat some cereal?

Stop!

Who wants to eat some cereal?

Broken.

Who wants to eat some cereal?

Stop it!

- Who wants to eat some cereal?
- Stop, stupid box!

OK. So, I'm going
to add a little pressure now, sir.

It's allright, it's perfectly natural.

That was you.

Yeah, I know.
But it's still perfectly natural.

Lovely.

It's your own fault.

You're the only attending who sticks
around for an entire exam

when he calls for a surgical consult.

Why is that?

No reason.

Oh! So you don't want to say.
That's cool.

I know you know hate
that I call Carla "baby" all the time,

so I'll just call you "baby"
until you tell me.

- Does that sound good, baby?
- Don't do that.

Oh, what's the matter, baby?

Look, surgeons always want
to slice people open

whether it's the best option or not.

No disrespect,
but you're just not that bright.

You have no idea
how to do anything else.

Unfortunately, sick people are also
very very stupid

and will almost always
agree to anything

that a blood-letting corpse carpenter
such as yourself tells them.

I simply stay in the room to make sure
they make the right choice.

So you don't trust me?

Uh, that's right.

That is an easier way to say it.

Baby!

Baby!

There he is, right on schedule.

Maybe it was
the free muffins for life,

but Dr Kelso
still hangs out here every day.

Morning, everybody!

Morning, Bob!

I'm like Norm in this bitch.

Ted finally said
what we were all thinking.

Why are you spending your retirement
hanging around the place you use to work?

It's so sad.

By comparison,
it almost makes my life seem...

No.

Still sad.

Yeah.

Seriously, don't you have
anything better to do?

Come on, people.

I've got tons of stuff going on.

I golf,
I play gin with the boys.

In fact, I am just here
to stock up on muffins.

Donnie, four roadies please.

Today, Enid and I are leaving to go
spend a weekend in wine country.

Of course, you know how Enid complains.

Any place I take her is "whine" country.

Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.

Anyway, keep my table warm.

Adios.

What are you doing?

That's the sound I hear in my head
whenever people leave.

Whatever.

I will see you after work.

You should really hesitate before
going around corners.

I was thinking that earlier.

Hey, since that Chief Doctor person
that fired me is gone, I'm back!

Yay!

I knew you'd react that way.

And since Jimmy, the overly touching
orderly, got his job back too,

I took the liberty of telling him
how much you missed him.

I missed you too.

- What's new ?
- Nothing, man.

You seem a little clinched.

Found a treasure-trove.

Where's the gold?

Take my little pickaxe,
and get to it.

- OK, don't. No, no, no.
- Wiggle worm...

- ...This is wiggle worm.
- I'll get my own gold, thank you.

OK, welcome back.

Why ?

See you later, buddy.

Hey. Have a good one, guys.

No, wait.

Something's wrong.

What is it?

It's Dr Cox.

He's all up in my business and...

Dr Cox!

Hang in there, bear.

How did you know
that he was hurting?

Did you like...
hear it in his voice?

With Turk, I can always
feel it from his soul,

like a wave of heat.

Are you going to make a joke
about how gay that sounds?

Definitely.
I just don't have the words yet.

Well, let me know.

Hello, folks.
I'm Dr Christopher Turk.

You're right so far.
Continue.

Mr Halford, Dr Cox tells me
that you're in need of a new kidney.

And I understand your wife
wants to be the donor.

So, what do you say we run
some tests and see if she's a match?

OK?

Dr Cox said you are
the best surgeon here, so I'm fine.

Right on.
See you guys later.

I don't understand.
If I'm the best surgeon here,

how come you're always
looking over my shoulder?

Oh, give me a break, would you?

Saying someone is
"the best surgeon"

is like saying someone is the
smartest cast member of The Hills.

Let's face it.

It's just not that tough to float
to the top of the surgical toilet.

Take your fellow-cutter,
The Todd.

Now, he's also
deemed competent enough

to perform a kidney transplant
on that gentleman right there.

Yet... observe.

Say, Todd?
What's for lunch today?

I'm not sure, bro.

This time, I'll just move my lips
as if I was speaking

and his tiny surgeon brain
will tell him

the glass is now just too darn thick
to hear through.

Can't hear you
through the glass, dude!

- Wow!
- Wow what?

It's true, you're back!

I'm so happy.

You don't look happy.

I don't smile a whole lot.
And lately when I try to, it hurts.

But trust me. I'm happy.

Return of the king, huh?

Yeah.

I can't tell you how much
I've missed having you around...

Jimmy, I'm really not
comfortable with that.

Jimmy, downstairs.

No problem.
See you guys later.

I'm gonna have to teach you
his command words.

Awesome!

I'm starving,
there's a Coffee Bucks up there.

- Let's grab something.
- I got it.

The only way that moment you had
with Turk could have been any gayer

would be if you two went home
and actually made love afterwards.

No. Elliot, stop!

You know I automatically picture any
visual image someone puts in my head.

You can't do that, it's embarassing.

But not as embarassing as this.

Dr Kelso?

Aren't you supposed
to be on vacation?

Crap.

Thanks for tagging in for me, Teddy.

I really need to ease myself back in.

Mopping is not like riding a bike,
that's for sure.

No problem.

Hey, Dr Turk.

Did you see who's back?

- Hey.
- I know, right?

Oh, that sucks.

What?

- It's my kidney transplant patient...
- I apologize.

I said "What?" but I meant
"Move it along".

By the way, what happened to the
janitor they hired to replace you?

We're going to have
to let you go, Marv.

But, stiff upper lip.

- I'm sorry, Dr Itor.
- Call me Jan.

I heard he quit.

Mopping's hard.

You're working against
yourself there. Go faster.

I bet you can't wait
to call all your friends

and tell them how pathetic I am.

Actually, sir, we young people
are more into texting these days.

JD, be sensitive.

Don't act like you're at a ping pong
match between a ninja and Bigfoot.

I know that made no sense, but
he's totally there now in his head.

Look at his eyes.

Look at that.

He should be out for a while.

I just have lot more
free time than I thought.

Enid and I were going to travel
all over the country,

but we don't have cash right now.

Elliot, stop doing that!

Who won the ping pong game?

The sasquatch.

Then Turk and I took him
to a carnival to celebrate.

Man, that hairy bastard
loves funnel cake!

Amazing.

Now it's time to split

before he shares something so personal
that we're trapped here forever.

We should probably get going.

Last thing I expected was

to be an old man with no idea
what the hell to do with his life.

Tom, I'm sorry but Darcy
was not a kidney match.

So we need to get you
on the transplant list right away

so we can find a new donor.

Wrong.

You didn't even hear
what I told them.

What did you tell them?

- Well, I basically told...
- Wrong!

Great news, folks.

I had occasion to speak
with Dr Quinlan here.

Anyway.

Do you see his kidney patient,
Mr Brinkley?

It turns out that his wife
is not a donor match for him, either.

And in the coincidence of the day,
she is a match for you sir.

And you, Mrs Halford,
are a match for him.

We do the old switcheroo,
and everybody wins.

So when would I get my new kidney?

Mr Brinkley has been in dialysis
for quite some time,

so Darcy, whe're going to have
to get him your kidney

just as soon as possible.
And Tom,

we'll schedule your surgery
for next week.

Look Dr Kelso,
leaving any job is tough.

I-- I remember when my cousin
got fired from her job,

she was so depressed because
it was the only salon in town,

and all she ever wanted
to do was cut hair.

Here it comes.

Both Dr Kelso and I had heard enough
of Elliot inspirational stories

to know that they invariably end
with someone killing himself.

But, then she moved.

Uh. Maybe not.

To a better place.

Or maybe so.

Look, give yourself a little time.

You'll figure out how
to be happy, I promise.

I'm never ready for
half the stuff that people say.

Whether it's an answer
you didn't expect.

So how did you get hired back?

I didn't.

Technicly, I don't work here.

A shocker from a patient.

We've been talking, and...

We don't want to trade
kidneys with the Brinkleys.

We'll go on the transplant list.

Or this.

Thanks.

I really appreciate you two
trying to cheer me up.

Actually, that wasn't unexpected.

But, this was.

Well, it's nice to see
you two dating again.

It was time
to demand an explanation.

Why would you think we're dating?

Why won't they do the kidney switch?

If you weren't hired back,
why are you here working?

I'm not. You are.

JD and I are just friends, Dr Kelso.

I mean, we just like
hanging out together.

We rent movies, go on hikes.

On Sunday nights,
we do our laundry together.

Did you know that Elliot's
granny panties

are actually her granny's panties.

It's just one pair, JD,
excuse me for being sentimental.

So, basically, you two do everything
a normal couple does except to have sex.

Exactly.

Sounds awesome.

Pardon me, I had nine coffees
in two hours. Time to drain.

Oh! It's a new shirt!

Hey, do you ever still
think of me in that way?

What way?

You know.
In a sexual way.

Sometimes.

Do you ever...
think of me that way?

Sometimes.

Put your shirt back on.

I'm just flipping it
so you can't see the stain.

And then I finally said it.

Do you think maybe
we should talk about... us?

Maybe we should.

And just like that, it was as if
we were off in our own little world.

My guy needs a kidney now.

Why wouldn't the Halfords say yes?

Because they're in no rush.

Plus, the Halfords
don't know the Brinkleys.

So they don't trust them.

We're screwed.

Awesome.

In The Todd's world, if anybody
gets screwed, it's a good thing.

Of course it is.

Look, I'm here because I want to be here.

But don't worry.
I'm going to get my job back.

Oh, good!

What's your plan?

I just told it to you.

I'm here, therefore
I will get my job back.

You're making my head hurt.

We both know that's not me.

That's from when you were a baby,
and a marble fountain fell on you.

Sometimes, my mom
kept my crib in the driveway.

Mine too.

But I live my live
by a very specific credo.

Everything works out for me.

There is no way this works out for us.

The Halfords are stubborn people.

I got an idea.

If the Halfords don't trust the
Brinkleys to come through for them,

we can just do
the surgery simultaneously

and take trust out as an issue.

That guy is such a jerk.

Don't worry,
he can't hear me through the glass.

You want me to go first?

Elliot, I've never been able
to get over the idea of us.

I'm still crazy about you.

I don't really know
what you want me to say.

Maybe you could tell me
if you feel the same way?

Yeah!

Maybe you could say it
without sounding angry.

But, JD, you crushed me.

I mean, I gave you my love,
and you threw it back at my face,

and pretty much scarred
me romanticly.

I mean, now I'm doomed to a life
of gravitating to safe boring guys

that I don't really love.

And I'm repelled by
the ones I care for deeply.

So, thank you... for that.

Look, if it helps,
you hurt me too.

Really?

There were so many times
I wanted to be with you so badly

and you shut me down.

Like when we first met, huh...

When you wanted to be sex buddies.

Oh yeah, but that's when
I felt work so overwhelming,

- And I...
- Blah blah blah blah blah.

I'm sorry, we've just been down
this road so many times, you know?

Seriously, does even talking about it just
make you hate yourself a little bit?

I can't tell from just doing
the normal amount of hating myself,

or if I'm at a slightly
higher level of self-loathing.

You're too hard on yourself.

No, I'm not.

I'm just stupid and ugly,
and I have a pig face.

JD, we're just back here again
because we're both lonely

and neither one of us have had
any physical contact for months.

I've had physical contacts.

With who?

All the energies are in you,
I'm just opening the channel.

Here it is.
Here it is.

I'd rather not talk about it.

Looks like everybody got
through with flying colors.

Congratulations there, Gandhi.

Your ability to bring people together
is very powerful, much like...

Gandhi.

That means a lot to me.

Because I'm just so
desperate for your approval.

What-- What's his problem?

Is he still mad at me?

Maybe.

I can't be sure.

The Brinkleys never gave the
Halfords a reason to be skeptical.

Life would be so much easier
if everybody just trusted each other.

We have so much history.

- Most of it bad.
- Yeah.

How can we ever get past that?

- We can't.
- Oh, good. That makes me feel better.

But maybe, we could remember
all our pit falls like a road map.

Maybe, this time, we could
avoid all the drama.

We don't have
to be that couple where...

one of us says
they're moving out of town,

the other one have to rush
to the airport to stop them.

We don't have to argue about
whether or not we want to break.

You watched the Friends
marathon last night, didn't you?

I did. I loved it.

The point is, Elliot, you're a lot
stronger than you used to be.

And I've changed too.

I have a beard now.

Do you still let that inner voice
of yours control you?

This is getting too serious.
Kick her. Kick her in the head.

Not as much.

Paycheck time, everyone!

Come on, Whitney.
I like it when you do it like Oprah.

Fine.

Who wants to get a paycheck?

You got a paycheck,
you got a paycheck.

You got a paycheck!

You got to go, man!

Everybody's going to see when
she doesn't have a check for you.

It'll be humiliating.

Look, you can't just say things are
going to work out, and then they do.

- That's not how the world...
- Excuse me.

I didn't get mine.

Who are you?

I'm the janitor. See?

Actually, I'm the old janitor.
I replaced the janitor that replaced me.

So, I'm still in the system.

I'll go get you a check.

Didn't mean to cut you off, Ted.
You were saying?

Mop it off.
Mop it off.

Mrs Winter, this is Dr Turk.

He's going to give you an exam and
explain all your surgical options to you.

One second. Hey!

You're leaving ?

Please, don't make me have second
thoughts by asking very stupid questions.

So what, you trust surgeons now?

No, I trust you.

I know we're talking,

but it still feels like
we're being so careful, you know?

We're just scared.

I made so many mistakes in my life
because I was scared.

It's the reason I bailed
when you said "I love you".

- It's the reason...
- Blah blah blah blah blah.

OK.

But I am scared of
ending our friendship.

What if I get hurt again?

- What if you pick up a new STD?
- For the last time, that was not an STD!

It was a urinary tract infection,

and I got it from
having sex with you in a pond.

Yeah you did!

I tell what else
I don't want to deal with.

All the judgements
from everyone else.

Dr Cox, Jordan.
Even Turk and Carla.

I mean, it's almost enough of
a reason not to do anything.

Hogwash!

Excuse me?

That ridiculous
drivel you just said.

But who am I to talk?

Here I am, eating some kind of a
banana nut sawdust muffin,

and hiding out in this crappy excuse
for a Coffee Bucks.

Who the hell cares
what anybody else thinks?

Just look into your heart, and
do whatever the hell makes you happy.

That's right, Ted. I'm back.

I love it here.

Donnie!

Moist.

Elliot and I were tempted
to take Dr Kelso's advice.

Because often when you do it,
it makes you happy.

Things have a way of working out.

Actually, I normally
get paid twice this.

My mistake.
I'll be right back.

But it also occurred to us that
you can have the best intentions,

you still fall back into old habits.

Shhh. Get out of here.

So I guess, the real answer is
that there is no easy answer.

You just have to go for it, or not.

This seems like a good idea.

Who cares?

I'm just going to need
to engage my legs.

Alright.
This is just to brace you.

You're a wizzard.

We're just gonna work this out.

- Let it flaw out.
- Flaw.

- Let it flaw out.
- Flaw.

- You like that, don't you?
- My god, help me. Jimmy, I do.

- There it is, let go.
- Deeper, please.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

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