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1
00:00:02,046 --> 00:00:04,508
Being a great doctor isn't just
about medical knowledge,
2
00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:06,450
it's also about people skills.
3
00:00:06,485 --> 00:00:09,715
Wow, that is the worst
broken nose I have ever seen.
4
00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:11,621
I'm here because I stepped on a nail.
5
00:00:11,756 --> 00:00:12,516
Of course.
6
00:00:12,851 --> 00:00:14,729
Were you walking on your nose?
7
00:00:15,064 --> 00:00:17,678
Unfortunately you're gonna have
to wait a little bit longer, okay?
8
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:20,164
'Cause we admit people
by severity of condition.
9
00:00:25,048 --> 00:00:27,094
That was mortifying.
10
00:00:28,156 --> 00:00:29,710
AAAAGGGGHHH! MY FACE!
11
00:00:29,745 --> 00:00:33,866
You know, with the face burns we could
probably admit you now. Laverne?
12
00:00:40,446 --> 00:00:41,630
My "me time" hand!
13
00:00:41,765 --> 00:00:42,654
Oh, and too, you know,
14
00:00:42,655 --> 00:00:45,846
friday night there's a chamber orchestra
playing in the courtyard of the museum.
15
00:00:45,881 --> 00:00:46,402
Oh, I'd love that!
16
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:46,968
You wanna go?
17
00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:48,002
Oh my God, I love Pachelbel!
18
00:00:48,037 --> 00:00:48,449
We can go right after....
19
00:00:48,484 --> 00:00:50,617
Carla and Elliot were going through
their weekly ritual of
20
00:00:50,652 --> 00:00:52,576
making plans they were
never going to keep.
21
00:00:52,731 --> 00:00:53,943
We should have dinner beforehand.
22
00:00:54,178 --> 00:00:54,634
Perfect!
23
00:00:54,669 --> 00:00:56,818
And since Turk knew
these were fake plans,
24
00:00:56,819 --> 00:00:59,887
he used the opportunity to score
bonus points with his wife.
25
00:00:59,922 --> 00:01:01,136
Classic husbanding.
26
00:01:01,171 --> 00:01:05,220
Hey, baby! You know what? Forget dinner.
I'll make you a homemade picnic basket.
27
00:01:05,255 --> 00:01:05,742
Oh!
28
00:01:05,994 --> 00:01:07,688
I married an amazing man.
29
00:01:07,723 --> 00:01:09,236
You sure did!
You know what?
30
00:01:09,271 --> 00:01:13,208
I've got an even better idea. Maybe
J.D. and I can both come -- right?
31
00:01:13,243 --> 00:01:17,627
We'll wear sport coats, and you
guys, beautiful dresses!
32
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,295
Oh my God, I love that idea!
33
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:20,452
I love it.
I love it.
34
00:01:20,487 --> 00:01:21,615
It's awesome.
It's awesome!
35
00:01:23,111 --> 00:01:24,966
To be perfectly honest, so did I.
36
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,899
I never get an opportunity to wear
my houndstooth sports coat.
37
00:01:29,201 --> 00:01:32,689
Unlike Elliot and Carla, when Turk
and I made plans we kept them.
38
00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:34,555
It's 10 o'clock. You ready?
39
00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:35,477
Let's do it.
40
00:01:35,812 --> 00:01:39,215
But lately for us, our plans rarely
involved leaving the apartment.
41
00:01:43,617 --> 00:01:47,020
I wasn't too excited about taking over this
spot after you sat in it for twenty minutes,
42
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:50,599
but I gotta tell ya,
it's warm in all the right places.
43
00:01:50,658 --> 00:01:51,455
Mm-hmm.
44
00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:53,143
How do you like what
I left you over there?
45
00:01:53,178 --> 00:01:58,312
Oh, man, your ass indentation is so deep,
it's like I'm sitting in a giant inner tube.
46
00:01:58,347 --> 00:02:01,058
As Turk and I recuperated
from our big chair swap,
47
00:02:01,093 --> 00:02:02,908
I wondered what other
couples were doing tonight.
48
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,317
Did I just refer to Turk and I as a couple?
49
00:02:05,517 --> 00:02:08,545
My point is, I'm sure other
couples were out having fun.
50
00:02:10,859 --> 00:02:14,221
You look so hot.
When's the last time we kissed?
51
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:15,794
About a month ago.
52
00:02:15,829 --> 00:02:17,584
When's the last time we had sex?
53
00:02:17,619 --> 00:02:18,462
Yesterday.
54
00:02:18,497 --> 00:02:21,688
Whatta you say we head into
the bathroom of this place and
55
00:02:21,689 --> 00:02:24,218
lower the health code
rating from an A to a B?
56
00:02:24,253 --> 00:02:25,190
Whatta you say?
57
00:02:25,225 --> 00:02:28,399
I guess some people figure, What's
the worst that can happen?
58
00:02:30,782 --> 00:02:31,389
Well?
59
00:02:31,972 --> 00:02:34,528
It's blue. I'm not pregnant.
60
00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:35,486
Ohh.
61
00:02:35,821 --> 00:02:36,807
You know what's weird?
62
00:02:36,842 --> 00:02:40,459
I'm relieved,
I just feel...kinda sad,
63
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,225
because I think about
how beautiful our son is and I...
64
00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:46,013
kinda wish it had gone
the other way, you know?
65
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:48,474
Sweetie?
66
00:02:49,309 --> 00:02:53,678
SHE'S NOT PREGNANT! IT CAME OUT BLUE!
67
00:02:53,878 --> 00:02:58,144
IT'S BLUE! SHE'S NOT PREGNANT!
68
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:02,177
IT'S BLUE! IT CAME OUT BLUE!
69
00:03:03,223 --> 00:03:06,069
Transcripts :
www.mopnt.com
70
00:03:06,070 --> 00:03:08,915
Subtitles :
elanouil
71
00:03:09,096 --> 00:03:11,843
Scrubs Episode 4x14
My Lucky Charm
72
00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:14,272
www.forom.com
73
00:03:15,878 --> 00:03:17,997
The epi isn't working,
I still don't have a rhythm.
74
00:03:18,497 --> 00:03:21,145
The transcutaneous pacer
isn't capturing.
75
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:27,555
Pupils are fixed and dilated;
I'm calling it. Time of death: 9:17.
76
00:03:27,961 --> 00:03:31,994
I always thought that when I died I'd see
a bright light or float above the ground.
77
00:03:32,029 --> 00:03:34,595
Turns out death is pretty mundane.
78
00:03:34,795 --> 00:03:37,651
I guess sometimes the end...
is just the end.
79
00:03:37,686 --> 00:03:42,147
For the last time, Jerry, you're not dead!
Okay? Now go back to your room!
80
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:47,658
Jerry has Cotard's or
"walking corpse" Syndrome.
81
00:03:47,693 --> 00:03:50,003
The guy thinks he's dead even
though he's walking around.
82
00:03:50,693 --> 00:03:53,366
I think I'll try to ask
Turk something telepathically.
83
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:55,417
Hey, man, you wanna
do something tonight?
84
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:58,711
Dude, yeah. Let's hang out and
watch some TV. We got any beer?
85
00:03:58,746 --> 00:04:01,538
I think I used the last of it to
make our special party ice.
86
00:04:01,573 --> 00:04:04,770
Hey! If I accidentally put beer cubes
in my orange juice again,
87
00:04:04,805 --> 00:04:07,743
there's gonna be trouble. I almost
got a D.U.I. because of you guys!
88
00:04:07,778 --> 00:04:10,662
Dr. Mickhead was wondering if you
would cover his patient in 310?
89
00:04:10,697 --> 00:04:14,202
The guy was in some bar fight and has
been unconscious since he got here.
90
00:04:14,237 --> 00:04:16,100
He was brought in by some
brother from Ireland.
91
00:04:16,145 --> 00:04:20,329
Do you mean an Irish brother
or an Irish...bruthah?
92
00:04:28,190 --> 00:04:30,781
Top of the mizzle to ya, me lizzles.
93
00:04:31,216 --> 00:04:33,075
I mean his sibling.
94
00:04:33,610 --> 00:04:35,399
Aw, man.
95
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,853
And you must be the Irish brother.
96
00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:49,826
No, sir. Ron Pearson,
Ohio born and bred.
97
00:04:49,861 --> 00:04:51,619
Yep, red-stater and proud of it.
98
00:04:51,771 --> 00:04:53,254
Oh, sorry, we--
99
00:04:53,289 --> 00:04:55,054
Only takin' the piss out of you, lads.
100
00:04:55,089 --> 00:04:56,574
Name's Billy Calahan.
101
00:04:56,609 --> 00:04:58,286
Had you goin' with the American
accent, though, didn't I?
102
00:04:58,870 --> 00:05:00,704
I'll just put it out there,
do it as a favor,
103
00:05:00,705 --> 00:05:03,394
is there any chance I could get
one of these filled with Guinness?
104
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:06,696
I've an awful hangover, me head is split,
we had a late night last night,
105
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:09,119
as you can see, and I'm a bit shaky.
Is there any chance?
106
00:05:09,129 --> 00:05:11,461
Probably not. We don't usually do that.
107
00:05:11,496 --> 00:05:12,976
Oh. Okay.
108
00:05:15,070 --> 00:05:17,533
Carla.... I'm so bummed.
109
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,978
I can't go see the
chamber orchestra tonight--
110
00:05:19,013 --> 00:05:21,302
I totally forgot I have
my Cantonese class.
111
00:05:21,337 --> 00:05:22,467
And I would totally call and cancel,
112
00:05:22,468 --> 00:05:24,506
but the onlything I know how to say
is "I'm allergic to peanuts."
113
00:05:24,668 --> 00:05:27,565
Ohh, Elliot, I was really
looking forward to this!
114
00:05:27,989 --> 00:05:29,031
Really?
115
00:05:29,066 --> 00:05:30,175
'Cause about five seconds ago
116
00:05:30,176 --> 00:05:32,547
you were all giddy about
going home and taking a bath tonight.
117
00:05:33,544 --> 00:05:34,874
Why would you do that to me?
118
00:05:34,909 --> 00:05:36,432
New thing: I'm bustin' chops.
119
00:05:38,466 --> 00:05:41,260
So...you just forgot we even had plans?
120
00:05:41,295 --> 00:05:43,621
What's the big deal? You were
flaking on them anyway.
121
00:05:43,956 --> 00:05:46,891
I wasn't. I have my Cantonese class.
122
00:05:47,126 --> 00:05:50,072
But do you?
Do you really?
123
00:05:50,607 --> 00:05:51,821
Bustin' chops.
124
00:05:54,917 --> 00:05:58,119
Fine! At least I remembered the plans
well enough to flake on them!
125
00:05:58,154 --> 00:06:01,091
Oh, yeah? Well, if I knew you
were gonna flake on them,
126
00:06:01,126 --> 00:06:04,426
I would've never made plans to forget
in the first place, 'cause you...
127
00:06:04,461 --> 00:06:06,513
She's gone, Carla. It's over.
128
00:06:07,908 --> 00:06:10,034
Where the hell have you been
for the last few days?
129
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:10,863
Deep-sea fishing.
130
00:06:10,898 --> 00:06:11,889
You hate fishing.
131
00:06:11,924 --> 00:06:12,868
Went with my buddies.
132
00:06:12,903 --> 00:06:13,617
You don't have any buddies.
133
00:06:13,652 --> 00:06:14,017
Oh, yeah?
134
00:06:14,018 --> 00:06:17,056
Well, we landed a two hundred pound
white marlin off the coast of San Diego.
135
00:06:17,191 --> 00:06:18,144
Interesting.
136
00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:21,710
'Cause that's three thousand miles from
the natural habitat of the white marlin.
137
00:06:21,745 --> 00:06:24,181
Well, perhaps it hopped
a train from Cape Cod!
138
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:24,925
Why!?
139
00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:27,130
I'm bustin' chops today.
You can ask anybody.
140
00:06:27,165 --> 00:06:27,940
It's true.
141
00:06:27,975 --> 00:06:29,166
See?
142
00:06:29,869 --> 00:06:32,133
So what did you really do?
And why are you limping?
143
00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:32,898
Perry!
144
00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:35,027
I got a vasectomy. Do not tell Jordan!
145
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,854
Welcome back, Perry! Hi!
146
00:06:36,889 --> 00:06:40,256
Ohhh, honey! Howwwww I missed you!
147
00:06:42,922 --> 00:06:43,987
Come on, Billy, just say it.
148
00:06:44,076 --> 00:06:45,617
For the last time, lads: no.
149
00:06:45,852 --> 00:06:47,478
Oh, then perhaps
you're not really Irish.
150
00:06:47,513 --> 00:06:48,481
FINE!
151
00:06:49,161 --> 00:06:53,884
Pink hearts, yellow moons,
orange stars, green clovers.
152
00:06:53,919 --> 00:06:55,166
See! I told ya!
153
00:06:55,201 --> 00:06:56,347
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
154
00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:57,345
He's Irish!
155
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:58,667
Yeah he is, yeah he is!
156
00:06:58,702 --> 00:07:00,858
How long're you two seeing each other?
You're a great couple.
157
00:07:00,893 --> 00:07:02,922
Ohh, no, man,
we're just living together.
158
00:07:02,957 --> 00:07:06,763
And not like, like, livin' together,
I mean, like, liiiivin' together!
159
00:07:07,724 --> 00:07:10,143
Hey, that is a cool tattoo, my brother!
160
00:07:10,178 --> 00:07:12,024
Oh, yeah, I got this,
I snuck onto a plane,
161
00:07:12,059 --> 00:07:13,644
thought it was going to Belgium,
ended up in Kenya.
162
00:07:13,679 --> 00:07:15,197
Long story short,
I hung out with this tribe;
163
00:07:15,232 --> 00:07:17,971
when the males go through
adolescence, they get this tattoo.
164
00:07:18,006 --> 00:07:19,274
It means
165
00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:20,541
"alias."
166
00:07:20,893 --> 00:07:22,316
Oh, why "alias"?
167
00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:23,693
It's their favorite show.
168
00:07:23,728 --> 00:07:25,005
- Ohhhh.
- Ohhhh.
169
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,692
I'm only kiddin'.
I don't know what it means.
170
00:07:29,027 --> 00:07:32,171
Enough about me. What about you lads, you
know, saving lives here all day every day?
171
00:07:32,171 --> 00:07:36,238
Out at night, givin' out a lash, tearin' it
up? You do go out at night, don't ya?
172
00:07:38,387 --> 00:07:39,783
Do you have any sevens?
173
00:07:43,681 --> 00:07:44,627
Turk!
174
00:07:48,451 --> 00:07:50,183
You have lots of sevens!
175
00:07:52,342 --> 00:07:53,980
We tear it.
176
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:57,084
And--and--and sometimes lash,
but with the hours we work, it's....
177
00:07:57,184 --> 00:07:58,973
It's less tearing and more folding.
178
00:07:59,108 --> 00:07:59,574
Right.
179
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:00,533
Gently folding.
180
00:08:00,768 --> 00:08:01,165
Yeah.
181
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,095
Lads! You're sleepin' off and
you're dead and buried.
182
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:05,607
You have to get out in the streets,
you have to talk to a stranger.
183
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,056
Drink a beer with breakfast! Take
the ugliest girl home at the party!
184
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:11,652
Done it! Done that.
That one I've done.
185
00:08:11,987 --> 00:08:13,986
Go travelin' to Texas, you know?
186
00:08:14,186 --> 00:08:16,672
Go line dancing with some married women
that wish they weren't married.
187
00:08:16,707 --> 00:08:18,280
You never know what life
would put in your lap
188
00:08:18,281 --> 00:08:19,644
when you open your arms
and embrace it!
189
00:08:19,924 --> 00:08:22,614
"You'll be surprised what'll fall in your
lap if you open up and embrace life..."
190
00:08:22,649 --> 00:08:23,319
Dude.
191
00:08:23,354 --> 00:08:24,060
Elliot!
192
00:08:25,595 --> 00:08:29,201
He said my eyes look like the Irish
countryside after a soft rain.
193
00:08:30,992 --> 00:08:31,749
I should go.
194
00:08:32,884 --> 00:08:33,982
That happened very quickly.
195
00:08:34,017 --> 00:08:37,883
Don't even sweat it. It's Elliot.
She's desperate!
196
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:38,605
Dude.
197
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:40,605
Baby!
198
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,125
What? What? I wasn't gonna do anything!
He said my hair was curly.
199
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,436
Your hair is curly.
200
00:08:46,389 --> 00:08:47,536
- BABY!
- BABY!
201
00:08:47,571 --> 00:08:48,304
Okay!
202
00:08:50,732 --> 00:08:53,985
What, uh, what did you do around
the apartment while I was gone?
203
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:57,142
Oh! I turned your little office
into my pajama closet,
204
00:08:57,177 --> 00:09:00,400
I threw out everything in the 'frigerator
that had the word "jerky" or "whiz" on it,
205
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:04,186
I got rid of all your clothes that make
you look like you're twenty years old--
206
00:09:04,187 --> 00:09:05,978
don't worry, I saved
your hockey jerseys.
207
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:09,801
Although I did move them
into my new...pajama closet!
208
00:09:09,836 --> 00:09:14,069
And for some reason none of the remotes
work anymore. And why are you limping?
209
00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:18,173
Fishing? I'm limping from fishing.
210
00:09:19,008 --> 00:09:20,698
I know that limp.
211
00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:22,110
No, Bob. Bob, no.
212
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,798
You just got a vasectomy!
213
00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:26,196
I had mine done back in '68.
214
00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:29,081
Ironically, that was the same year
that Enid discovered pasta
215
00:09:29,082 --> 00:09:31,557
and I discovered I'm not
attracted to enormous women.
216
00:09:31,592 --> 00:09:33,724
I didn't just get a vasectomy.
217
00:09:33,759 --> 00:09:38,505
Come on, soldier! If I have to force
you to drop your pants, I will!
218
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,715
So, tell Bobbo, was it a hard decision
for the two of you to make?
219
00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:48,783
Snip it, doc.
Snip it hard.
220
00:09:50,618 --> 00:09:55,679
Yeah, we...we really...
struggled...with it.
221
00:09:55,714 --> 00:09:57,575
I don't really care.
222
00:10:03,914 --> 00:10:04,947
You're right, love.
223
00:10:05,382 --> 00:10:06,073
Mmm.
224
00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:08,903
Why are you waving?
You're married.
225
00:10:08,938 --> 00:10:11,032
So what?
Married people can't wave now?
226
00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:12,457
You can wave like this:
227
00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:14,080
You can't wave like this:
228
00:10:15,572 --> 00:10:17,185
I didn't know
you were a waving expert.
229
00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:20,170
What plans of ours did you flake
on to go to that waving seminar?
230
00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:22,727
Oh, why are you asking me?
Did you forget?!
231
00:10:22,728 --> 00:10:23,931
You big plan forgetter.
232
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,417
Besides, I don't need to go to
a waving seminar to know that
233
00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:28,797
this wave is
internationally known as
234
00:10:28,953 --> 00:10:31,656
"I am a married woman whose
self esteem has plummeted because
235
00:10:31,691 --> 00:10:35,649
nobody looks at me anymore, and so
I'm acting like a desperate hussy."
236
00:10:35,684 --> 00:10:37,093
Oh, snap!
237
00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:38,957
Did you just call me a hussy!?
238
00:10:38,992 --> 00:10:40,289
Desperate hussy!
239
00:10:48,619 --> 00:10:50,899
Oh, whoa, whoa! Ladies, stop!
240
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,264
Continue.
241
00:11:00,353 --> 00:11:03,269
So, Billy, we're gonna need to get
your brother's insurance information.
242
00:11:03,304 --> 00:11:06,812
Oh, he's not me brother. Sure'n I only
met the fellow last night, God bless him.
243
00:11:07,247 --> 00:11:09,782
In life, we often make
assumptions that aren't true.
244
00:11:11,258 --> 00:11:13,761
Whether it's assuming you know
how someone's gonna react...
245
00:11:14,096 --> 00:11:16,999
Okay, let me have it.
246
00:11:18,622 --> 00:11:20,097
Whatever makes you happy, sweetie.
247
00:11:21,032 --> 00:11:22,565
See you at home.
248
00:11:27,997 --> 00:11:30,733
...Or assuming that a little girl from
Connecticut would never fight dirty.
249
00:11:32,757 --> 00:11:33,952
I'm going in!
250
00:11:36,026 --> 00:11:38,368
The crazy thing is
most assumptions could be avoided if
251
00:11:38,369 --> 00:11:40,582
you just asked a simple
question in the first place.
252
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,494
Well, if you're not his brother,
then who are you?
253
00:11:43,029 --> 00:11:45,535
Me? I'm the bloke that hit him.
254
00:11:56,036 --> 00:11:57,487
Billy, I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.
255
00:11:57,622 --> 00:11:59,103
Lads, it was an accident, right?
256
00:11:59,503 --> 00:12:03,049
He threw the first punch, then I hit him,
he slipped, hit his head on the bar.
257
00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:04,786
Now, listen, where I come from,
258
00:12:04,821 --> 00:12:07,607
you knock someone unconscious, you
stay around, you make sure they're okay.
259
00:12:08,158 --> 00:12:10,051
Right? So, guess what?
260
00:12:10,816 --> 00:12:11,686
I won't be leaving.
261
00:12:11,721 --> 00:12:13,975
Well, then, you're gonna have to
deal with me and my partner.
262
00:12:15,099 --> 00:12:17,753
I mean, like, my--my partner,
not like my--my partner.
263
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,633
Can I talk to you outside for a second?
264
00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:24,218
How you doing?
265
00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:27,467
Not great, actually. I'm dead.
266
00:12:27,902 --> 00:12:30,143
Bummer. How long?
267
00:12:30,278 --> 00:12:31,864
Four years next month.
268
00:12:31,899 --> 00:12:33,108
Geez, that's a nightmare.
269
00:12:33,708 --> 00:12:36,019
I was dead once, for about ten minutes.
270
00:12:36,519 --> 00:12:38,276
Then me mate Danny peed on me head.
271
00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:38,912
Really.
272
00:12:39,447 --> 00:12:41,261
It's quite a sight
to wake up to, though.
273
00:12:45,958 --> 00:12:47,363
Heard you guys were fighting.
274
00:12:47,798 --> 00:12:48,709
We made up.
275
00:12:48,744 --> 00:12:49,728
No they didn't.
276
00:12:50,363 --> 00:12:51,310
Chop bustin'.
277
00:12:52,115 --> 00:12:53,166
And doc dustin'.
278
00:12:54,716 --> 00:12:57,740
Well, Elliot, you don't look too banged up
about it -- you got your arm around Carla.
279
00:12:57,975 --> 00:13:00,477
My hand is stuck in this rat's
nest that she calls hair!
280
00:13:00,512 --> 00:13:01,129
Dye job!
281
00:13:01,164 --> 00:13:04,282
Got it! But, Chopstick, you're
gonna have to buy a new watch.
282
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:07,122
And Carla, you may wanna
borrow some of my spray-on hair.
283
00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:10,118
Baby--
284
00:13:10,153 --> 00:13:12,971
No, dude, forget them.
We have to deal with Billy.
285
00:13:13,006 --> 00:13:14,898
Now, should we call the cops
on this guy or what?
286
00:13:14,933 --> 00:13:16,807
I don't know, man, he seems cool.
287
00:13:16,842 --> 00:13:19,027
He put a guy in the hospital;
that's a felony.
288
00:13:19,028 --> 00:13:20,979
And as doctors we're
supposed to report him.
289
00:13:21,014 --> 00:13:23,041
Are you trying to convince me to do
something that you already did?
290
00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:24,161
'Cause you know that drives me crazy!
291
00:13:24,196 --> 00:13:29,485
No! This is a decision we both need to
make! Together! As a team, as a unit!
292
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,207
All right, fine, let's call the cops.
293
00:13:32,242 --> 00:13:33,161
Thank God.
294
00:13:34,133 --> 00:13:37,804
Hello, gentlemen. We got a call
about a felony from a Dr. Turk?
295
00:13:39,047 --> 00:13:40,893
"Turk"'s easier to hear over the phone.
296
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,531
"Dorian" isn't hard
to hear over the phone.
297
00:13:43,566 --> 00:13:45,706
But I didn't really want to
talk about it with Turk.
298
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:48,979
When you have a problem with someone,
you tend to talk to everyone except them.
299
00:13:49,014 --> 00:13:52,576
I went behind Jordan's back
and got my junk rewired.
300
00:13:53,176 --> 00:13:55,068
She was sweet to me.
301
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:59,648
Sweet, Bobbo. What the hell
do you make of that?
302
00:14:02,358 --> 00:14:04,120
Carla thinks she's so tough, you know?
303
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,391
She's "been around the block."
She's "from the block."
304
00:14:06,426 --> 00:14:09,855
Enough about the block! It's not my
fault my family had an orchard.
305
00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:13,499
For four years I've had to listen
to Elliot complain about her problems.
306
00:14:13,534 --> 00:14:14,970
"My parents are too rich."
307
00:14:14,971 --> 00:14:16,407
"I slept with J.D. again."
308
00:14:16,408 --> 00:14:18,063
"Why can't I gain any weight?"
309
00:14:18,098 --> 00:14:20,609
I have problems of my own!
I'm from the block!
310
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:23,022
I wanted to help her, I just
wish she could've heard me.
311
00:14:23,057 --> 00:14:24,218
Okay, Jerry, you're out.
312
00:14:24,253 --> 00:14:25,127
Laverne?
313
00:14:25,162 --> 00:14:26,044
Mm-hmm?
314
00:14:26,079 --> 00:14:26,700
Can I talk to you?
315
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:29,553
Perry, believe me when I say
I'm proud to welcome you to
316
00:14:29,554 --> 00:14:32,622
what I like to call the
"seedless grapes club." But still....
317
00:14:32,657 --> 00:14:36,706
I have just one obvious and
hopefully chop-busting question....
318
00:14:37,241 --> 00:14:39,350
Why the hell are you
talking to me about this?
319
00:14:41,744 --> 00:14:43,294
I guess I should be talking to her.
320
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,963
Jordan? Jordan, why aren't
you more upset about this?
321
00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:53,632
I, honest to God, I don't get it.
I mean, normally you'd go to your
322
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:55,102
mother's for a bitch refresher course,
323
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,616
and then you'd come right back here
just swinging for the fences.
324
00:14:58,051 --> 00:15:00,056
You know what,
I'd love to stay and chat,
325
00:15:00,091 --> 00:15:02,539
but if we're late for ballet,
Jack won't get a spot by the bathroom
326
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:03,762
and then he'll pee in his tights.
327
00:15:03,797 --> 00:15:08,119
I'm sorry, my son is taking...
is taking ballet?
328
00:15:08,154 --> 00:15:09,930
Come on, Jordan,
he's already got
329
00:15:09,931 --> 00:15:12,620
an overbearing mother and
a fairly prominent lisp.
330
00:15:12,655 --> 00:15:14,134
If we stick him in the tights, well,
331
00:15:14,135 --> 00:15:17,036
we might as well just go ahead and get
him a timeshare on Fire Island.
332
00:15:17,454 --> 00:15:19,892
Oh, I haven't even decided if
I'm gonna make him gay yet.
333
00:15:19,927 --> 00:15:24,347
Oh. I see what this is.
This is "the payback," ah?
334
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:25,168
Perry!
335
00:15:25,182 --> 00:15:28,038
I didn't freak out 'cause you and I
are two very independent people
336
00:15:28,039 --> 00:15:30,467
in a relationship and we
don't always share our feelings.
337
00:15:30,502 --> 00:15:33,513
I didn't get angry
because I'm not surprised.
338
00:15:33,548 --> 00:15:34,435
Ba-ba.
339
00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:35,629
Let's go ballet!
340
00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:40,979
Do I wish it were different?
Sometimes.
341
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:45,277
But, whatever you and I have is working,
so I guess I just have to live with it.
342
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:47,331
"Bye, daddy."
343
00:15:52,531 --> 00:15:53,830
So, how you feeling down there?
344
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:56,614
Oh, great. Great. Reverse it.
345
00:16:02,746 --> 00:16:03,677
See ya, lads.
346
00:16:07,578 --> 00:16:08,592
Ohh, man!
347
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,883
I know we feel guilty, okay?
But it's over.
348
00:16:10,918 --> 00:16:13,162
It's not like there's gonna
be any ramifications.
349
00:16:15,418 --> 00:16:19,492
You have one day to come up
with another gorgeous Irishman.
350
00:16:19,527 --> 00:16:20,677
One day.
351
00:16:21,187 --> 00:16:24,980
What? The Todd appreciates
hot, regardless of gender!
352
00:16:31,635 --> 00:16:35,666
I'm glad Billy's gone. He's such a
jerk. He kept calling me "bonny."
353
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:37,083
"Bonny" means "pretty."
354
00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:40,985
Oh, my God!
I will never love like that again!
355
00:16:42,231 --> 00:16:45,130
You know I wasn't really mad about
Billy or the whole flaking thing.
356
00:16:45,165 --> 00:16:48,729
I remember hugging you the day of
my wedding and thinking to myself,
357
00:16:48,764 --> 00:16:52,020
even though the other two bridesmaids
were my sisters, I felt closer to you.
358
00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:55,440
When did we stop being best friends?
359
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,078
I mean, it feels like it took us
so long to get to that point and that
360
00:16:59,079 --> 00:17:00,537
it's gone away so quickly,
you know?
361
00:17:00,572 --> 00:17:04,217
Well, my fault. Been burying
myself in being married.
362
00:17:04,252 --> 00:17:05,906
Oh, please,
it was your first year.
363
00:17:05,907 --> 00:17:08,600
I mean, I should've been the
one to make the extra effort.
364
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:10,345
So what now?
365
00:17:11,329 --> 00:17:12,375
We try harder.
366
00:17:12,810 --> 00:17:13,781
All right.
367
00:17:14,644 --> 00:17:16,815
Yo, who taught you
how to fight like that?
368
00:17:16,987 --> 00:17:19,501
When you grow up in an orchard,
you don't have much choice.
369
00:17:21,644 --> 00:17:22,797
Apple thieves.
370
00:17:31,287 --> 00:17:32,400
What the hell happened to you?
371
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,916
I got them to reverse the vasectomy.
372
00:17:34,951 --> 00:17:37,713
What an incredibly normal thing to do!
373
00:17:38,048 --> 00:17:40,255
Jordan, let me talk for a second.
374
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:44,574
I've been trained for many years
to take any emotion I feel,
375
00:17:44,575 --> 00:17:48,716
push it down, and then let it out
by drinking way too much
376
00:17:48,751 --> 00:17:51,369
and by yelling at the football
players on my T.V. screen.
377
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,134
And I...
I really thought I hit the jackpot
378
00:17:54,135 --> 00:17:58,683
when I finally met a woman who was
as disturbed and closed-off as I am.
379
00:17:58,690 --> 00:17:59,605
Thank you.
380
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,927
You're welcome. Still,
now I want more. I--
381
00:18:02,962 --> 00:18:05,608
I really do.
I want to talk about things.
382
00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:06,876
Not--not everything.
Not everything.
383
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,808
I definitely, definitely don't want
to talk about everything.
384
00:18:08,843 --> 00:18:11,921
For instance I don't need to know when
you beat up a woman in the park
385
00:18:11,922 --> 00:18:13,785
because her purse
is the same color as yours;
386
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:19,160
but things that matter, things that are
important to us as a--as a family.
387
00:18:19,195 --> 00:18:23,613
And I know... I know that there are
guys who bring flowers
388
00:18:23,648 --> 00:18:25,947
and that there are guys
who write love songs.
389
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:29,313
But, Jordan, I'm a guy
sitting in front of you here
390
00:18:29,314 --> 00:18:31,260
with a twice operated-on penis that says
391
00:18:31,295 --> 00:18:33,979
"I want to be a couple that
communicates more openly."
392
00:18:34,462 --> 00:18:36,680
What kind of guy writes love songs?
393
00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:39,436
Guys whose mothers
make them go to ballet class.
394
00:18:39,671 --> 00:18:40,669
Fair enough.
395
00:18:43,504 --> 00:18:44,555
You know how much I love you?
396
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,050
I love you too.
397
00:18:50,989 --> 00:18:53,202
Okay, now that we're being
all open and honest?
398
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:53,600
Yeah.
399
00:18:53,635 --> 00:18:57,475
I do not want to have any more kids.
I think you should get the vasectomy!
400
00:18:58,065 --> 00:18:58,903
Fantastic.
401
00:19:00,399 --> 00:19:03,020
My partner and I --
yeah, I said it --
402
00:19:03,021 --> 00:19:06,400
we had heard that Billy was back,
and he was mad.
403
00:19:06,784 --> 00:19:07,609
I warned ya!
404
00:19:08,934 --> 00:19:09,877
What the hell happened?
405
00:19:09,912 --> 00:19:12,121
He woke up and said something snarky,
so I popped him again!
406
00:19:12,156 --> 00:19:13,290
Are you serious?!
407
00:19:14,461 --> 00:19:14,804
BOO!
408
00:19:14,839 --> 00:19:16,263
Aaaaaaaghgggghhhhhhh!
409
00:19:18,998 --> 00:19:22,094
Ohh, you think scaring people's funny,
huh?! Well, good! Because you're dying!
410
00:19:22,129 --> 00:19:23,686
John Dorian, you are a doctor!
411
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:24,570
Well, he started it!
412
00:19:24,805 --> 00:19:25,789
Sorry about your face, man.
413
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,987
Oh, please, I threw the first
punch. It was my fault.
414
00:19:28,222 --> 00:19:29,809
Right then. I'm off.
415
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:33,030
I'm supposed to be in
Florence by midnight.
416
00:19:33,265 --> 00:19:34,684
How the hell are you gonna do that?
417
00:19:35,219 --> 00:19:36,675
Her apartment's two blocks away.
418
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,335
It should be no problem at all.
419
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:41,653
Well, hey, we're sorry about the
whole incarceration thing.
420
00:19:41,688 --> 00:19:43,598
No worries.
Life's too short to hold a grudge.
421
00:19:43,633 --> 00:19:47,204
But still, you two boys might want to
ask yourselves why you contacted
422
00:19:47,239 --> 00:19:49,578
the authorities but didn't have the
decency to come and talk to me first.
423
00:19:49,604 --> 00:19:53,023
But I should let you two
"partners" figure that out.
424
00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:55,940
By the way, you're a gorgeous
couple. Good luck to ya.
425
00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:58,187
See ya, lads!
426
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:06,118
When I was alive, I wish I had lived one
day like he lives every day of his life.
427
00:20:06,153 --> 00:20:07,733
Dead people don't talk, Jerry.
428
00:20:08,968 --> 00:20:12,569
We weren't really mad at Jerry, what we
realized was that we were jealous of Billy,
429
00:20:12,604 --> 00:20:15,010
because he was out living
life and Turk and I weren't.
430
00:20:15,745 --> 00:20:17,970
I guess it's important
not to take life for granted.
431
00:20:19,005 --> 00:20:20,832
Whether it's appreciating
your relationships...
432
00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:23,253
All righty, let's go for
the hat-trick, there, doc.
433
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:23,812
Are you sure?
434
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,893
Hey, doc! Zip it, grip it, and snip it!
435
00:20:29,739 --> 00:20:31,100
Or renewing your friendships.
436
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:33,940
I almost peed!
437
00:20:35,648 --> 00:20:39,250
For Turk and I, it was important just to
get out and start living life, period.
438
00:20:39,785 --> 00:20:43,349
Buddy, it is almost one o'clock in the
morning, and we have to be at work at five.
439
00:20:43,384 --> 00:20:44,870
I know, but how often do we do this?
440
00:20:46,305 --> 00:20:47,713
You're absolutely right, come on.
441
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,821
Do you have any twos?
442
00:20:50,856 --> 00:20:52,787
Uh, no. Go fish, please.
443
00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:55,674
Do you have any Ks?
444
00:20:56,519 --> 00:20:58,270
Ah, please go fish.
445
00:20:58,376 --> 00:21:03,095
www.forom.com
446
00:21:03,145 --> 00:21:07,695
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