All language subtitles for Parks and Recreation s03e15 The Bubble.eng

Hey, ladies and gentlemen,

for the first time ever
in her new part-time job

in the Public Health Department
at City Hall,

it's Ann Meredith Perkins!
Yay!

Oh, Leslie, this is so nice!

I put a poisonous gas
in one of these balloons,

so if any of them pops,
you may die.

No, April, we would all die.

Gases fill the volume

of whatever container
they're in.

School.

We have activities every hour
on your first day.

10:00 A.M., Ann's first day
waffle explosion.

11:00 A.M.,
the start-paperwork jamboree.

And then 12:00 noon sharp

is the inaugural
d-Ann-ce party.

Welcome to City Hall, cupcake!

How many of you are in here?

There are seven.
And you have an office mate.

His name is Stuart,
and he's kind of a grouch.

I have an office mate?

Get these [Bleep] balloons
out of here.

Hi. I'm Ann.

Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

- Hey.
- Hey.

Just to let you know,

I gave the senior center
project to Donna.

Sounds good.
The meeting's at 2:00?

Yes. Conference room "C".

Okay.
I think at some point,

you and I should probably
make out with each other.

Yeah, good call.

The best part
of any relationship

is the beginning.

No problems, no fights.

Just white wine, cuddling,

and crazy amounts of
History Channel documentaries.

Hey, we should take
separate cars

to the restaurant tonight.

Chris is deadly serious
about this...

I know.

I just don't wanna talk
about it, okay?

I'll see you tonight.

Okay.
Oh, by the way,

I have a meeting
with Marlene Griggs-Knope.

Is that any relation?

- No.
- Oh, okay.

Just a coincidence.
We get it all the time.

We laugh about it.

But I've never met her.

- She's Filipino.
- Mm.

Okay, bye.

Why don't you ju t tell Ben
she's your mother?

Because Ben and I

are in this amazing
little bubble right now,

and there's no room in here

for Chris' stupid rules
about us not dating

or my ball-busting mother.

Oh, Leslie, I'm sorry,

but I don't think
you thought this through.

You know what I should do?
I should get my mother

a one-way ticket to London,
leaving today.

And that way,
Ben never has to meet her

and I could visit her
in London.

Everybody wins.

What if he sees
a picture of her on your desk?

What if Marlene says,

"Hey, have you met
my daughter Leslie?

She works
in the Parks Department."

Stuart, please, could you
give us like 45 minutes?

- It's my office too.
- Stuart.

Boy, that guy was rude.

I feel that
some structural changes

could really unlock
this department's potential.

- Jerry.
- Hmm?

I believe you are capable
of much more.

- I'm not.
- Nonsense.

- Look in the mirror.
- What?

You are an intelligent,
charismatic,

beautiful superhero.

I'm making you
head of Public Relations,

which means you'll be leading
the daily briefing sessions.

Excellent idea.

This is my favorite part

about having
a new city manager.

They always try
to shake things up,

and their ideas are terrible,

and it brings City Hall
to a grinding halt.

I just grab a few donuts,

sit back, and enjoy the show.

April, you are too valuable

to just be Ron's assistant.

So from now on, you are
a multitasking executive aide,

assisting the entire office.

Is this a nightmare?

April, wake up.

Tom, I just wanna say

that you are
a wonderful employee

and a terrific human being.

Meeting adjourned!

Tom.

I enjoy you.

You know what else I enjoy?
Your entrepreneurial spirit.

I did recently sell
my Chronicles of Riddick DVD

on eBay for $10.

Used the profits
to buy the Blu-Ray.

That's terrific.
I have an amazing project

for someone of your talents.

You are going to digitize

the entire city archives
up on the fourth floor.

No! I hate
the fourth floor!

Last time I was up there,

I saw someone buy crystal meth
out of a vending machine.

It's a bad place.

You won't be alone.
Andy.

Starting now,

you are nobody's shoeshine boy.

Starting now, you are
an administrative assistant.

For three weeks.
Then back to shoes.

Chris!

I wasn't super paying attention

to what you just said
that we'll be doing,

but I will give 110%!

Well, as soon
as you repeat yourself

in a more interesting way.

- Hey, Ben.
- Hey, what's up?

Nothing much. Since I'm here,
I just wanted to let you know

that Marlene Griggs-Knope
is my mom.

What? Wh.. why?

Also, she can be cruel
and difficult,

and she make snap judgments
about people

that she holds on to
for a very long time.

And she's kind of a bully.

Okay! Go in there
you're gonna be great.

Oh God. Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I'm sorry.
Here... Sorry!

Hello.

I'm Mr. Ben Wyatt.

Looks like you got some shirt
on your coffee.

Yeah. You know
what happened?

I spilled it,
but you know how it goes.

Fun anecdote.

The County School District

needs four new school buses.

I'm being stonewalled
by the board,

and I'm hoping your office
can help us out.

Okay.

Really? That's it?

Yeah.
Actually, no. It...

it's probably not possible.

Then I'm confused, Ben,

because you
just told me it was.

Five seconds ago.

I got a second box of donuts,
if anybody...

What the [Bleep] is this?

This, Mr. Director,
is your new desk.

Okay...

This desk is the epitome

of the Swedish concept
of Jamstalldhet,

or "equality."

Imagine someone
needs your attention.

- Somebody say my name.
- Chris.

Swivel!

What is it, Jerry?

You told me to say your name.

And you did a great job,
superstar.

Someone else say something.

You look like a freak.

Swivel!

April, that is not
a very good attitude.

I will keep my eye on you

from my circular desk
where I can see everything.

Tiny swivel.
See how it works?

What about my office

and its many walls?

That becomes
a new public waiting room.

You're gonna be
more accessible than ever.

The fourth floor...
Small Claims Court,

divorce filings,
state-ordered drug tests.

It's somehow
both freezing and humid.

There's a whole room
on the fourth floor

where they store the knives
they've confiscated from people

who went to the fourth floor
to stab someone.

- You from parks and rec?
- Yeah.

I'm here to show you around.

Oh, nice to meet you, ma'am.
What's your name?

Ethel Beavers.
Follow me.

Okay, this is you.

Whoa!

Double computers?

I get my own office phone.

Hello, wall street.

Buy more stocks. Now.

This phone
kind of smells like a butt.

Try not to move things around,

'cause technically speaking,

this is still a crime scene.

Oh, here's your name tags.

Here.

Ethel, this shirt
is from theory.

Name tags make holes.
I'm not wearing this.

Well, do what you want.

Bye, Ethel!

Damn it.

Remind me next time
to ask her where she was

when Lincoln got shot.

Remind... Tom...
Ask... something.

You got it, boss.

Hey! Somebody
made somebody a mix!

And I definitely heard
your feedback from last time,

so I only put five
Sarah Mclachlan songs

- on this one.
- Cool.

Should we talk about
how you claimed your mom

was a Filipino woman
you'd never met?

Should we?

I was just trying
to delay the inevitable.

If this turns
into something real,

then we are gonna have
to deal with Chris' rule,

and parents,
and annoying flossing habits,

and a lot of un-fun stuff.

But not yet.

I just want to enjoy the bubble
for a little while.

I'm sorry.

Everything's good?

No, it's not.

I was completely flustered.

I came off like an idiot.

I mean, at one point,
for no reason,

I just took off my shoes
and held them in my hand.

I'm gonna go ask her
how it went,

and I bet she loved you.

I loved him!

He's a total pushover.

Very odd guy, though.

He's like a goofy,
spineless jellyfish.

Why do you ask, sweetheart?

No reason.

Don't worry about it.
It's totally fine.

No, it's not fine.

What if she starts going around
telling people

I'm a pushover?

No one's gonna believe that.

When I first met you,

I thought
you were a fascist hardass.

- What?
- A cute fascist hardass,

but still,
you give off a very...

Education department

now officially requesting
ten school buses.

I thought
they only wanted four.

Well, now that I'm a pushover,
why not ask for 10, or 20,

or 100 new school buses
and a fleet of school yachts?

- How about that?
- Hmm.

Here's what we're gonna do.

You are gonna tell me

everything there is to know
about your mom,

and I'm gonna have
another meeting with her,

and we're gonna have it out.

Or... we could go
to Belize

and go scuba diving.

And we could look
at the whale sharks.

You're certified, right?
Let's get you certified.

April, do you have
that usage report

that I asked for?

- Anything for you, Jerry.
- Thank you.

Oh, come on!
Why?

Excuse me.

There's a sign at Ramsett Park

that says "Do not drink
the sprinkler water,"

so I made sun tea with it,

and now I have an infection.

Sir?

Sir, are... are... are...

are you listening to me, sir?

Sir, I'm talking to you!

Sir!

Sir, are you aware

that there is waste

in your water system?

Okay, you need to be strong,
powerful, decisive.

This is not a meeting.
It's a battle.

Normal meeting rules
do not apply.

I'll be my mom,

and I'm gonna be
very harsh with you,

and it's only because
I like you a lot.

- Okay.
- Go!

- Hello.
- Wrong.

- What?
- No preambles.

No introductions.
Just walk in and start talking.

I'd like to discuss
the new school bus.

I'd like to discuss
your rhyming, Dr. Seuss.

And you should be
sitting by now.

- Uh, what?
- Just walk in and take a seat.

Um...

"Um" is the sound
in "dumb."

That's what she says to people.

And now you've crossed your legs
like a woman.

God! Okay,
should we just start over?

No. No, we need to put
a pin in this.

Here is a list

of my mother's top 100
favorite conversation topics,

starting with Persian rugs,

ending with Daniel Craig.

You have ten minutes
to memorize it.

- Deliverance the movie?
- Mm-hmm.

Oh, God.

So Jerry is,
like, basically my boss now...

which I'm never
gonna work for him...

Ron's trapped
in this weird desk prison,

and I now work
at this traveling IV station.

This Mort Jansen's office?

Nope.

Tell Mort
I said "your move."

Oh, my God. I wanna work
up here with you guys.

This is awesome.

How many more of those stupid
documents do you have to scan?

Just this one,

and all the ones
in those boxes.

I gotta get out of here pronto.

Time to get those old ladies
to do my work for me.

How?

By shining down on 'em

with the Haverford charm ray.

Wah-wah wah-wah wah-wah...

Well, well, well,

if it isn't Ethel Beavers.

What's up, beautiful?

Julianne Moore just called.
She wants her hair back.

Nobody named Julien called.

Never mind.
I just need to ask you

a couple of questions.

One, can you help me out
with this project we're doing?

And, two,
will you please invite me

to your 30th birthday party?

What are you doing?

I'm making a test call
to your phone

to make sure it's working

so you don't miss
any more calls.

You know what?
Don't bother.

Maybe I'll just find
an open window

- and plummet to my death.
- Okay.

This...
isn't gonna work.

Okay, you did not
just swivel away

while I was talking to you.

This spaceship keyboard
is driving me crazy.

I'm down to one word a minute,

and the word is
"perflipitusclub,"

because I can't fly spaceships.

Donna, you know as well as I do

these city manager shakeups
always Peter out.

- You just have to wait.
- Usually I'm with you.

But this is Chris Traeger,
the Six Million dollar Man.

He won't quit.

So you need to swivel your ass
down to his office

and have a word with him.

Mommy.

Oh!

Oh, that is
so thoughtful of you.

Of course!

I just figured, hey,

why not put my mother
in a good mood?

So it's my understanding

that despite what I said
in our meeting,

you have somehow increased
your request

for more school buses.

Excuse me,

but I'm having coffee
with my daughter.

Maybe we could do this
another time.

No, we're gonna talk
about this now.

Or if you'd prefer,

I could put a permanent freeze
on the education budget.

It's your call.

Wow, maybe you
should talk to him, mom.

He seems
pretty self-assured.

There's nothing left.

It's over.

Hey, hey, hey, don't say that.

Now, come on.

Get yourself together

and go out there
and be the woman

you always knew you could be.

Thank you so much.

Who was that?

I don't know.

I saw her crying,
and so I helped.

What did you
wanna talk to me about?

Look, Chris, I'm very flattered

you thought of me
for this amazing opportunity,

but I don't really know
if this gig is in my wheelhouse.

I tend to work best
with young, attractive people.

Tom, I have made you
a project leader.

This is a big deal!

You should keep an open mind.

Let your brain unlock the door
to your heart's future.

I made that expression up
when I was 14.

Still in use today.
By me.

Gotta jam.

You know what?
It's just not possible.

And don't even bother trying
to outflank me either,

because you will fail.

Where did all this confidence
come from all of a sudden?

Hey, guys, come on.
Let's relax.

- You know, Ms. Griggs-Knope...
- Marlene.

There's probably
a compromise here.

"Compromise is usually
a sign of weakness."

Yes, it is,
according to Andrew Carnegie.

But your demands remind me
of a different quote,

from the great Bill Watterson...

"you need a lobotomy.
I'll get a saw."

I love Calvin and Hobbes.

Me too!

I gotta say,
this is some of my best work.

This could not
have gone better.

They are really hitting it off.

Thank God.
Crisis averted.

Well, I am very glad
you came back up here.

Oh...

Yeah, me too.

- Yeah, uh...
- So you have a deal.

Well, let me
mull everything over,

and then we can reconnect
and hash things out.

It might get rough,
but that can be fun.

- Ben can handle it.
- Yup, I can.

Okay, great.

- It was a pleasure.
- Oh, mm-hmm.

What's so great
is she was impressed by you too.

I mean, you could tell instantly
that the way you guys

were connecting
was really amazing.

Now, what I'm thinking
is that maybe

we should go over
to her house...

you two are
just the cutest things

on four legs!

- Aw.
- But why so much black?

It's like you're going
to a funeral.

- She's got a point, babe.
- So marry her then.

I wish!

Hey, sorry to interrupt
the love fest,

but can you hand me that
folder there, please, Ethel?

Oh, great.

Why you gotta be
like that, Ethel?

Looks like someone got up
on the wrong side of the crib.

Stop laughing, Muriel.

Stop it!

I gotta say, I'm a genius.

The only thing my mom loves
more than music boxes

is McSteamy
from Grey's Anatomy.

So I made her...

A McSteamy-style music box,

and I thought maybe
you could give it to her.

She would love you for it.

I think maybe
that's not such a good idea.

Why?

I mean, it's not
the best picture of him, but...

Your mom kind of...

Um...

Made a pass at me.

So Webster's dictionary

describes a pork as a...

no, it's park... park.

I'm sorry.
Geez, okay. So...

You know what,
can we start over?

Let's... let's go from
the first thing I said... pork...

which, by the way,

they have a great pork sandwich
in the cafeteria today.

- Ron Swanson.
- Chris.

You have come up with a plan

so spectacularly horrible

that it might ruin
the entire department.

- Now, wait a minute.
- No, I mean that

as a compliment.

SO it pains me to say this...

My department has to go back
to the way it was.

Give 'em time.
They'll adjust.

No, they won't.
They're miserable.

Tom only performs
when there's someone to impress,

so marooning him
on freak island

isn't helping anyone.

And you made April
assistant to everyone?

You know who April hates?

Everyone.

And Jerry can only function
if no one's looking.

You shine a light on him,

and he shrinks up faster
than an eskimo's scrotum.

Well, that's
very perceptive, Ron.

And... very graphic.

I understand your point,

but there's no way that
I get just rolled-over on this.

Okay.

You won't ever hear me
say this again,

so savor this moment.

I may have a compromise.

Look, she was just
flirting a little.

I'm sure she's not
really interested in me.

Oh, my God. I can't even
have this conversation.

The whole thing
is screwed up now.

There's so many ways
to destroy a bubble,

but my mom flirting with you
is number one on the list.

And I'm sorry,
I have to say this...

Were you asking for it
in any way?

No!

- How were you dressed?
- Oh, my God.

- I was wearing this.
- Here's what we do.

You issue
a government-wide memo

about sexual harassment,
and then you go to Mexico.

Just for a couple of weeks.

Where are you going?
Ben!

Ben! Wait.
Just k...

Hey.
Hi, mom.

- Hi again.
- Leslie and I are dating.

We haven't told anyone

because there's a rule
against office relationships,

but it's happening.

I'm sorry we didn't tell you
before you touched my knee,

and I trust
you won't tell anyone now,

since it could get
your daughter fired.

That is hilarious.

That's what we thought too.

Well...

Four buses.

- Two.
- Deal.

I like this one.

Me too.

You keep your hands off him.

Margaret's pecan squares.

They are like crack.
I brought you one.

How are you so happy
working here?

I don't know, man.
It's not that bad.

A year ago I lived in a pit.

Now I got a job,
and a kickass wife,

and my band is so good,

and are you gonna eat
that pecan square?

When life gives you lemons,
make lemonade.

I read that once
on a can of lemonade.

I like to think
that it applies to life.

Here you go.

Thank you.

Kind of figured you'd
be back in your office by now.

Well, you know
how new city managers are.

Seems like everyone else
is back to normal.

How long
do you have to do this?

A week.

Citizen request.
Swivel, swivel, swivel.

Hello. I can help you
in here, sir.

Sync & corrections by Alice
www.addic7ed.com

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