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1
00:00:00,602 --> 00:00:03,105
Mom, I'm gonna miss the first pitch.
Go faster!
2
00:00:03,189 --> 00:00:05,691
Alex, you know Mrs. Resnick
doesn't go faster.
3
00:00:05,774 --> 00:00:07,985
Unless we're going downhill,
and then she might not stop.
4
00:00:08,861 --> 00:00:11,447
We are so late. Just try.
5
00:00:15,868 --> 00:00:17,244
Mom, I smell gas.
6
00:00:17,868 --> 00:00:19,160
All right.
7
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:21,872
Now, you smell Hawaii.
8
00:00:23,206 --> 00:00:27,168
Maybe the car's bad 'cause papi stuck
it with the name Mrs. Resnick.
9
00:00:27,252 --> 00:00:30,213
You know your papi named her
after a hot teacher he had a crush on.
10
00:00:30,296 --> 00:00:34,801
Yeah, but by now I bet Mr. Resnick's
traded her in for a younger model.
11
00:00:35,719 --> 00:00:36,928
That's not funny, papito.
12
00:00:37,513 --> 00:00:38,764
It's not funny.
13
00:00:38,847 --> 00:00:40,807
Society treats middle-aged women
shamefully.
14
00:00:40,891 --> 00:00:42,225
I read a study online...
15
00:00:42,308 --> 00:00:43,977
Okay, who wants to hear some tunes?
16
00:00:44,060 --> 00:00:45,145
No!
17
00:00:45,228 --> 00:00:48,273
♪ Don't leave me in all this pain ♪
18
00:00:48,899 --> 00:00:52,277
♪ Don't leave me out in the rain ♪
19
00:00:53,445 --> 00:00:55,364
Aw, right before the good part.
20
00:00:55,447 --> 00:00:56,990
There is no good part.
21
00:00:58,199 --> 00:01:00,661
That CD's been stuck in this car
my whole life.
22
00:01:00,744 --> 00:01:02,579
Uh, excuse me? It's a cassingle.
23
00:01:06,332 --> 00:01:07,501
Why are we slowing down?
24
00:01:08,919 --> 00:01:12,047
Who turned on the AC?
25
00:01:13,757 --> 00:01:15,717
You know Mrs. Resnick can't handle that!
26
00:01:15,801 --> 00:01:19,763
I'm sorry, but it's 90 degrees and you
won't let us roll the windows down.
27
00:01:19,846 --> 00:01:21,389
Because then they don't go back up.
28
00:01:21,473 --> 00:01:24,142
And it's only a crime to leave children
in a hot car if it's parked.
29
00:01:24,225 --> 00:01:26,186
I looked it up!
30
00:01:28,605 --> 00:01:30,857
Great. Okay, guys.
31
00:01:31,608 --> 00:01:32,984
You know the drill.
32
00:01:36,447 --> 00:01:40,325
Por favor, Santa Francisca de Roma,
ayúdanos.
33
00:01:40,408 --> 00:01:42,327
Uno, dos y tres.
34
00:01:46,832 --> 00:01:49,334
See?
35
00:01:49,418 --> 00:01:50,752
Mrs. Resnick's still got it.
36
00:01:57,676 --> 00:01:59,094
Ugh.
37
00:01:59,928 --> 00:02:01,054
Well...
38
00:02:02,180 --> 00:02:04,975
it'll probably be 20 minutes
before a tow-truck gets here.
39
00:02:05,976 --> 00:02:08,979
So, what should we do to pass the time?
40
00:02:10,188 --> 00:02:11,356
Oh, I know.
41
00:02:12,023 --> 00:02:16,737
♪ ...break my heart ♪
42
00:02:16,820 --> 00:02:19,948
♪ Say you'll love me again ♪
43
00:02:20,031 --> 00:02:21,282
Everybody!
44
00:02:21,366 --> 00:02:24,369
♪ Undo this hurt you caused ♪
45
00:03:12,262 --> 00:03:14,262
_
46
00:03:17,951 --> 00:03:19,662
Oh, hello.
47
00:03:21,164 --> 00:03:22,706
What are you doing, Mami?
48
00:03:22,790 --> 00:03:25,459
This is supposed to make your skin glow.
49
00:03:25,543 --> 00:03:27,002
It's called a sheet mask.
50
00:03:29,963 --> 00:03:32,591
Mami, sheet.
51
00:03:32,675 --> 00:03:35,469
It's called a sheet mask.
52
00:03:36,179 --> 00:03:38,431
That's what I said, sheet.
53
00:03:40,349 --> 00:03:43,311
So, would you say you are
sheet-faced right now?
54
00:03:43,394 --> 00:03:45,271
Ah! Stop...
55
00:03:45,354 --> 00:03:47,731
or the sheet will hit the fan.
56
00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:53,571
You are back so late,
I decided to have a little me time.
57
00:03:53,654 --> 00:03:56,199
Can you feel it working?
Hey, guys.
58
00:03:57,658 --> 00:04:00,118
Oh!
59
00:04:01,912 --> 00:04:05,666
And... we are 29 again.
60
00:04:07,835 --> 00:04:09,127
Where you guys been?
61
00:04:09,212 --> 00:04:12,381
Mrs. Resnick broke down again
and had to be towed to the mechanic.
62
00:04:12,465 --> 00:04:14,342
Hector's looking at it now.
63
00:04:14,425 --> 00:04:15,759
Oh, how is Hector?
64
00:04:15,843 --> 00:04:18,136
I feel like I haven't seen him for days.
65
00:04:19,930 --> 00:04:21,557
Did he ask about me?
66
00:04:24,602 --> 00:04:26,979
Oh, papito.
What happened to your pants?
67
00:04:27,062 --> 00:04:28,981
I ripped them getting out of the trunk.
68
00:04:29,064 --> 00:04:31,775
You keep him in the trunk now?
69
00:04:31,859 --> 00:04:34,903
No, the doors got stuck again so we all
had to climb out through the back.
70
00:04:34,987 --> 00:04:35,988
It was terrible.
71
00:04:36,071 --> 00:04:38,115
Now the whole team calls me
"Butt-trunk boy."
72
00:04:39,325 --> 00:04:41,702
They could've called me
"Junk in the trunk," it was right there.
73
00:04:43,746 --> 00:04:45,789
Oh. Oh, guys.
74
00:04:45,873 --> 00:04:47,708
This is Hector. Hector...
75
00:04:47,791 --> 00:04:50,544
Hector! Hello, give me some good news.
76
00:04:51,504 --> 00:04:53,422
What? No!
77
00:04:54,507 --> 00:04:56,509
Okay, well, what exactly
needs replacing?
78
00:04:56,592 --> 00:04:57,676
Uh-huh.
79
00:04:58,719 --> 00:05:01,430
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
80
00:05:03,557 --> 00:05:05,434
Okay, well, what about... Oh, huh.
81
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:07,603
Uh-huh?
82
00:05:08,396 --> 00:05:10,606
Oh, you saved the cassingle!
83
00:05:12,149 --> 00:05:14,235
It unspooled.
84
00:05:15,236 --> 00:05:18,322
That's okay, Hector, no.
Um, thank you. Thank you.
85
00:05:20,741 --> 00:05:23,118
Guys, Mrs. Resnick is...
86
00:05:23,201 --> 00:05:25,037
Muerta.
87
00:05:26,914 --> 00:05:28,123
I can't believe it.
88
00:05:28,206 --> 00:05:31,377
You know, your papi picked me up
for our first date in that car.
89
00:05:31,460 --> 00:05:34,212
It was brand new.
Only 60,000 miles on it.
90
00:05:35,798 --> 00:05:38,676
We drove Mrs. Resnick up the coast...
91
00:05:38,759 --> 00:05:42,137
and at sunset,
your papi bet me $5 that he'd marry me.
92
00:05:43,306 --> 00:05:45,766
He even wrote our initials
in a little heart on the bill.
93
00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:48,268
I still have it somewhere.
94
00:05:49,019 --> 00:05:51,314
Aw, you never take us to Malibu.
95
00:05:51,939 --> 00:05:53,399
That's what you got from that story?
96
00:05:55,359 --> 00:05:57,570
Yeah, but the good news is
you're getting a new car, right?
97
00:05:57,653 --> 00:06:00,030
Oh, sure, I'll just have
the butler pick it up.
98
00:06:01,574 --> 00:06:04,452
Oh, butlers work at the estate.
99
00:06:04,535 --> 00:06:06,745
Chauffeurs pick up cars.
100
00:06:08,914 --> 00:06:12,751
Lupe, if you need money for
a car, I am here to help.
101
00:06:12,835 --> 00:06:15,338
I will teach dance again!
102
00:06:15,421 --> 00:06:17,590
It is a gift that I have
withheld from the world
103
00:06:17,673 --> 00:06:19,091
far too long.
104
00:06:19,174 --> 00:06:21,635
She taught me how to salsa.
She was amazing.
105
00:06:21,719 --> 00:06:23,429
I do it for the joy.
106
00:06:23,512 --> 00:06:24,513
You owe me $30.
107
00:06:26,557 --> 00:06:29,142
Okay, well, why don't we take
public transportation
108
00:06:29,226 --> 00:06:30,686
and reduce our carbon footprint?
109
00:06:30,769 --> 00:06:32,480
It's the best way to save money,
and besides,
110
00:06:32,563 --> 00:06:34,440
I don't want you to have
to go into my college fund.
111
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:38,193
College fund?
112
00:06:38,276 --> 00:06:40,904
You see that dish of change by the door?
That's your college fund.
113
00:06:42,030 --> 00:06:43,824
Well, not the quarters,
'cause I need that for laundry.
114
00:06:44,658 --> 00:06:47,786
Elena, mi niña, a family needs a car.
115
00:06:47,870 --> 00:06:52,833
In Cuba, my best memories
are the long rides with my papi
116
00:06:52,916 --> 00:06:56,795
in a Chevy the size of this apartment.
117
00:06:56,879 --> 00:06:58,881
It was glorious.
118
00:06:58,964 --> 00:07:01,925
His beloved little daughter on one side
and on the other,
119
00:07:02,009 --> 00:07:04,011
his beloved bottle of rum.
120
00:07:05,137 --> 00:07:07,305
That sounds dangerous.
121
00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:09,392
No, no, no, no,
we didn't have seat belts then.
122
00:07:09,475 --> 00:07:11,101
We would just roll out quick.
123
00:07:14,062 --> 00:07:17,733
Well, I'm going to start
taking public transportation,
124
00:07:17,816 --> 00:07:20,778
you know, to help atone
for the environmental devastation
125
00:07:20,861 --> 00:07:25,282
that my ancestors and their gas-guzzlers
so cruelly left to this earth.
126
00:07:25,366 --> 00:07:29,745
Why does everything have to be a crusade
that is also annoying?
127
00:07:32,205 --> 00:07:34,750
Abuelita's right. We need a
car, but we can't afford a car.
128
00:07:34,833 --> 00:07:38,128
Unless we get a crazy good deal,
which means we're screwed, because...
129
00:07:38,211 --> 00:07:39,713
car salesmen are scary.
130
00:07:39,797 --> 00:07:41,256
But not to you.
131
00:07:41,339 --> 00:07:42,550
You were in the Army!
132
00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:44,342
Yeah, you're always saying
you're a "badass."
133
00:07:44,427 --> 00:07:45,553
I am a badass!
134
00:07:46,554 --> 00:07:49,432
But I'm also kind of a scaredy cat,
you know, because...
135
00:07:49,515 --> 00:07:51,642
I never bought a car before,
you know?
136
00:07:51,725 --> 00:07:53,977
That salesman is gonna see me
coming a mile away.
137
00:07:54,061 --> 00:07:56,104
Then he's gonna do that thing
where he talks to the guy.
138
00:07:56,188 --> 00:07:58,023
And then they're gonna say
something about floor mats,
139
00:07:58,106 --> 00:08:00,233
and then, "blah, blah, blah,"
I wake up in an ice tub,
140
00:08:00,317 --> 00:08:01,860
because someone took my kidneys.
141
00:08:03,028 --> 00:08:04,780
I am a total stereotype.
142
00:08:04,863 --> 00:08:07,533
A woman that doesn't know
anything about cars.
143
00:08:07,616 --> 00:08:09,535
It would be so much easier
if Victor were here.
144
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,996
I hate to say this,
but this is husband work.
145
00:08:13,997 --> 00:08:17,418
Okay, Mom, this is not
just a car anymore.
146
00:08:17,501 --> 00:08:20,128
It is the symbol of the oppression
that the bonds of marriage
147
00:08:20,212 --> 00:08:22,590
have placed upon you as a woman.
148
00:08:22,673 --> 00:08:24,550
You can do this.
149
00:08:24,633 --> 00:08:27,553
- So you are for the car now?
- No!
150
00:08:27,636 --> 00:08:29,472
But as a crusade, yes.
151
00:08:30,347 --> 00:08:32,516
Annoying.
152
00:08:33,225 --> 00:08:35,769
- Yeah, I can do this. Yes. Yes.
- Yes!
153
00:08:35,853 --> 00:08:38,647
'Course you can, you just need
to do a little research.
154
00:08:38,731 --> 00:08:40,733
In the meantime,
I'll take Alex to baseball.
155
00:08:40,816 --> 00:08:44,194
Gives me a reason to break out
the athleisure wear.
156
00:08:44,778 --> 00:08:45,779
What the hell is that?
157
00:08:45,863 --> 00:08:47,865
It's workout clothes
you cannot sweat in.
158
00:08:50,909 --> 00:08:53,245
My car broke down yesterday
and I have to buy a new one.
159
00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:56,832
- Oh, no, no, no.
- I hate car dealerships.
160
00:08:56,915 --> 00:09:00,377
I went to buy my daughter
an inexpensive car,
161
00:09:00,461 --> 00:09:02,630
and she drove off in a BMW!
162
00:09:03,672 --> 00:09:05,048
And then I had to buy it!
163
00:09:06,509 --> 00:09:09,803
Very hard to negotiate
when the car's halfway to Vegas.
164
00:09:11,555 --> 00:09:13,816
Well, I'm feeling pretty good,
165
00:09:13,899 --> 00:09:15,183
'cause I spent all last night
166
00:09:15,267 --> 00:09:16,727
- learning about cars.
- Oh! Oh!
167
00:09:16,810 --> 00:09:19,730
Can you tell me what
"anti-lock brakes" are?
168
00:09:19,813 --> 00:09:22,357
I mean, why should they ever lock?
169
00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:25,110
I believe you're talking about ABS.
170
00:09:25,193 --> 00:09:28,405
Which is just a system that allows
the wheels to maintain tractive control
171
00:09:28,489 --> 00:09:29,990
during sudden stops! What? What?
172
00:09:30,658 --> 00:09:33,243
Very impressive!
173
00:09:33,326 --> 00:09:35,913
Uh, do you know how to repo a BMW?
174
00:09:36,497 --> 00:09:38,874
No, but I am very proud of myself,
175
00:09:38,957 --> 00:09:41,334
because this is my first big purchase
without Victor.
176
00:09:41,418 --> 00:09:43,336
Yeah, girl! You don't need no man!
177
00:09:43,420 --> 00:09:44,547
Ooh!
178
00:09:45,673 --> 00:09:46,799
Actually, I do.
179
00:09:47,340 --> 00:09:49,927
Apparently when a woman goes
to a dealership without a man,
180
00:09:50,010 --> 00:09:51,804
they are quoted a higher price.
181
00:09:51,887 --> 00:09:55,140
So I was thinking, maybe you can
come with me and pretend to be my...
182
00:09:55,223 --> 00:09:58,351
- Husband?
- I was gonna say "dad," but sure...
183
00:09:58,435 --> 00:10:00,062
I am in!
184
00:10:00,145 --> 00:10:02,105
Great! That's so great!
We're gonna go tomorrow, okay?
185
00:10:02,189 --> 00:10:03,481
I am out!
186
00:10:03,566 --> 00:10:05,526
I... I can't do tomorrow.
187
00:10:05,609 --> 00:10:06,735
It has to be tomorrow.
188
00:10:06,819 --> 00:10:09,071
It's the end of the month
and it's the best time to negotiate.
189
00:10:09,154 --> 00:10:12,658
I'm sorry, I'm seeing my daughter
for the first time in ages,
190
00:10:12,741 --> 00:10:15,911
and she's bringing her therapist,
and lawyer and life coach.
191
00:10:15,994 --> 00:10:19,164
It's going to be so good to see
these people I've been paying.
192
00:10:22,375 --> 00:10:23,794
You're home later than usual.
193
00:10:24,461 --> 00:10:26,379
Saving the world takes time.
194
00:10:30,342 --> 00:10:34,972
You know... I used
all public transportation today.
195
00:10:35,055 --> 00:10:37,600
I went to school, I went to the library.
196
00:10:37,683 --> 00:10:40,978
I came home. Zero carbon footprint.
197
00:10:42,104 --> 00:10:44,147
Zero interesting words.
198
00:10:46,817 --> 00:10:49,987
Come on, abuelita,
I saw beautiful parts of the city,
199
00:10:50,070 --> 00:10:51,404
I talked to fascinating people,
200
00:10:51,488 --> 00:10:53,782
and I pushed myself
outside my comfort zone.
201
00:10:53,866 --> 00:10:55,325
When's the last time you did that?
202
00:10:55,408 --> 00:10:59,622
When I moved here
as a 15-year-old girl
203
00:10:59,705 --> 00:11:02,457
without my family
and not speaking the language.
204
00:11:07,545 --> 00:11:09,464
Is that well ever gonna run dry?
205
00:11:10,716 --> 00:11:12,342
They took our well!
206
00:11:15,303 --> 00:11:18,265
Anyways, I explored the city today, too,
207
00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:23,395
when I was putting up my fliers,
so I may teach the world to dance again.
208
00:11:24,521 --> 00:11:27,274
There's a part of you that actually
thinks the world stopped dancing
209
00:11:27,357 --> 00:11:28,942
when you quit teaching, isn't there?
210
00:11:29,735 --> 00:11:30,778
Yes.
211
00:11:34,114 --> 00:11:37,284
- Mom, today was the best day.
- Ooh!
212
00:11:37,367 --> 00:11:40,871
Everyone saw me in Schneider's Range
Rover and thought I was a total pimp!
213
00:11:40,954 --> 00:11:42,915
Mmm.
214
00:11:42,998 --> 00:11:46,501
Don't say pimp or you'll get grounded!
215
00:11:47,335 --> 00:11:49,296
Seriously, Mom, his car is amazing.
216
00:11:49,379 --> 00:11:50,630
The seats warm up.
217
00:11:50,714 --> 00:11:53,926
You wouldn't think you want a
warm butt... but you totally do.
218
00:11:55,218 --> 00:11:57,095
It's all the best parts of
peeing your pants
219
00:11:57,179 --> 00:11:59,181
without any of the wetness.
220
00:12:02,726 --> 00:12:05,854
You should've seen Schneider.
The other parents were obsessed.
221
00:12:07,147 --> 00:12:09,775
Connie Merkelson told
me she's never seen
222
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:12,176
anybody slice apples with such grace.
223
00:12:12,235 --> 00:12:15,864
Not gonna lie, she was
throwing me some red hot heat.
224
00:12:18,075 --> 00:12:20,035
Connie Merkelson is a gay lady.
225
00:12:21,036 --> 00:12:23,163
But... thank you for taking Alex.
226
00:12:23,246 --> 00:12:25,373
And actually, I have
another favor to ask.
227
00:12:25,457 --> 00:12:26,875
Okay, but with Connie...
228
00:12:26,959 --> 00:12:29,127
I think she might walk
both sides of the street.
229
00:12:29,211 --> 00:12:30,412
I'm gonna stay on the case.
230
00:12:31,839 --> 00:12:34,674
Tomorrow I'm gonna buy a car,
and so that I don't get screwed,
231
00:12:34,758 --> 00:12:36,301
I need a male presence
to pretend to be my...
232
00:12:36,384 --> 00:12:37,510
- Son?
- Really?
233
00:12:42,933 --> 00:12:44,559
You're older than me.
234
00:12:46,603 --> 00:12:47,771
I was gonna say husband.
235
00:12:47,855 --> 00:12:51,274
Oh! A May-December thing.
236
00:12:51,358 --> 00:12:52,776
Gross, but okay.
237
00:12:53,736 --> 00:12:55,988
So I know you've been doing
your research.
238
00:12:56,071 --> 00:12:57,405
- What's our play?
- You don't talk.
239
00:12:57,489 --> 00:13:00,075
- Arm candy. I hear ya.
- Yeah.
240
00:13:00,158 --> 00:13:03,328
I'm just gonna walk up to that salesman,
I'm gonna look him in the eye
241
00:13:03,411 --> 00:13:05,413
and I'm gonna say,
"Here's what's up."
242
00:13:05,497 --> 00:13:09,501
You're gonna sell me
a 2012 pre-owned Honda CR-V,
243
00:13:09,584 --> 00:13:12,129
low mileage, no upsell,
for the bluebook price,
244
00:13:12,212 --> 00:13:13,588
"or I will burn this building down!"
245
00:13:14,798 --> 00:13:17,384
Save that fire
for the bedroom, babe.
246
00:13:18,551 --> 00:13:20,303
You're comin' on way too strong.
247
00:13:20,387 --> 00:13:23,140
No, I gotta be tough.
They gotta see that I ain't no punk.
248
00:13:23,223 --> 00:13:25,934
Hey, they also gotta see that you didn't
just get out of a women's prison.
249
00:13:28,145 --> 00:13:31,648
Look, you know your stuff.
Just throw in a little charm.
250
00:13:31,731 --> 00:13:36,236
For example, I have my own little
secret weapon.
251
00:13:39,782 --> 00:13:41,408
Whoopsies!
252
00:13:45,453 --> 00:13:46,538
What?
253
00:13:56,631 --> 00:14:00,260
Guess who just got a large latte
for the price of a small?
254
00:14:01,929 --> 00:14:03,847
I'm trying to buy a car,
255
00:14:03,931 --> 00:14:06,975
not impress a white girl with dreadlocks
who likes flat asses.
256
00:14:09,978 --> 00:14:12,647
I'm just saying,
I got tricks to get people on my side.
257
00:14:13,481 --> 00:14:14,983
What are you bringing to the table?
258
00:14:22,991 --> 00:14:25,327
Playing the veteran card is genius.
259
00:14:25,410 --> 00:14:27,745
Hey! I earned this guilt.
260
00:14:27,830 --> 00:14:30,040
But, yeah, I kinda feel sorry
for the salesman.
261
00:14:31,499 --> 00:14:33,836
Beautiful lady veteran,
you're gonna own this guy.
262
00:14:33,919 --> 00:14:35,879
Hey, folks.
263
00:14:35,963 --> 00:14:37,005
I'm Jill.
264
00:14:37,089 --> 00:14:38,715
Can I answer any questions for you?
265
00:14:40,133 --> 00:14:41,468
I got this!
266
00:14:49,351 --> 00:14:50,685
Whoopsie!
267
00:14:52,729 --> 00:14:54,481
Damn it, that's a Montblanc!
268
00:14:55,941 --> 00:14:57,609
Oh, yeah...
269
00:14:58,902 --> 00:15:00,278
That's my husband.
270
00:15:01,279 --> 00:15:02,823
I married him for his flat ass.
271
00:15:08,829 --> 00:15:10,663
I see you served.
272
00:15:10,747 --> 00:15:13,750
Yes, I was an army medic
in Afghanistan. Yeah...
273
00:15:13,834 --> 00:15:15,668
Ai, sorry, sorry!
274
00:15:16,419 --> 00:15:18,588
I sustained a shoulder
injury in the field.
275
00:15:18,671 --> 00:15:22,050
It was a difficult time,
but I'm proud to serve my country.
276
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:24,261
- I hear what you're saying.
- Thank you.
277
00:15:24,344 --> 00:15:25,678
Sergeant Riley.
278
00:15:26,679 --> 00:15:29,224
I was a driver and gunner in Baghdad.
279
00:15:30,558 --> 00:15:32,227
Hooah!
280
00:15:34,646 --> 00:15:35,981
Hooah.
281
00:15:37,399 --> 00:15:38,433
Pardon me a second.
282
00:15:39,401 --> 00:15:42,445
Hey, Michaels, step
away from the donuts.
283
00:15:42,529 --> 00:15:44,531
The customers need them
and you definitely don't.
284
00:15:46,033 --> 00:15:48,493
Schneider, she is not gonna
give me any sympathy.
285
00:15:48,576 --> 00:15:50,162
She's more badass than I am.
286
00:15:50,245 --> 00:15:52,539
Yeah, I got bigger fish here, Penelope.
287
00:15:53,748 --> 00:15:57,335
Anyway, this Honda CR-V is an LX.
It's got low mileage.
288
00:15:57,419 --> 00:15:59,379
Five-star safety rating, ABS...
289
00:15:59,462 --> 00:16:00,838
Which is different than EX,
290
00:16:00,923 --> 00:16:02,757
because it has smaller wheels
and no fog lights,
291
00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:04,634
'cause I ain't no punk! Oh, I'm sorry.
292
00:16:05,969 --> 00:16:07,762
Somebody's been doing their research.
293
00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:09,472
Well, you know what,
I am a straight shooter.
294
00:16:09,556 --> 00:16:10,598
I tell it like it is.
295
00:16:10,682 --> 00:16:13,518
Then why are you lyin' about that guy
being your husband?
296
00:16:15,853 --> 00:16:16,980
What, what?
297
00:16:18,481 --> 00:16:20,400
Come on!
You served in the Army!
298
00:16:20,483 --> 00:16:22,152
You've trained to rappel
out of helicopters.
299
00:16:22,235 --> 00:16:24,154
And you're gonna tell me
that you're married to that haircut?
300
00:16:24,237 --> 00:16:27,532
Do you guys have one
of those grabber claw thingies?
301
00:16:29,451 --> 00:16:30,868
We're not married, I'm sorry.
302
00:16:31,453 --> 00:16:33,788
It's just that my real husband and I
are actually separated
303
00:16:33,871 --> 00:16:36,041
and this is my first big purchase
without him.
304
00:16:36,124 --> 00:16:37,417
I get it.
305
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:40,212
There's no reason you and I can't
figure this out, just the two of us.
306
00:16:40,295 --> 00:16:42,255
Oh, God. Spider.
307
00:16:44,716 --> 00:16:46,009
Spider!
308
00:16:59,606 --> 00:17:01,816
I'm glad we enlisted and not him.
309
00:17:05,445 --> 00:17:07,030
So, mi niña...
310
00:17:07,114 --> 00:17:09,199
how was the crusade today?
311
00:17:09,282 --> 00:17:12,035
Another great day on the bus.
312
00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:13,578
Oh, which one did you take?
313
00:17:13,661 --> 00:17:14,829
Uh, the 60?
314
00:17:14,912 --> 00:17:16,081
That goes to Vernon?
315
00:17:17,124 --> 00:17:19,626
Oh, my favorite butcher is there.
316
00:17:19,709 --> 00:17:25,632
I once saw a woman rip the weave
off another woman over a leg of lamb.
317
00:17:28,593 --> 00:17:29,802
It was me.
318
00:17:33,098 --> 00:17:36,351
Well, Vernon's library is
much better than ours.
319
00:17:36,434 --> 00:17:38,145
My bus driver actually tipped me off.
320
00:17:38,228 --> 00:17:40,981
- Georgie, Miguel or Petros?
- Petros.
321
00:17:41,064 --> 00:17:42,565
Petros only works on weekends.
322
00:17:43,150 --> 00:17:44,151
Sorry, it was Miguel.
323
00:17:44,234 --> 00:17:45,735
There is no Miguel. I made him up.
324
00:17:47,779 --> 00:17:48,905
What are you doing?
325
00:17:48,989 --> 00:17:50,782
What are you doing?
326
00:17:54,911 --> 00:17:57,664
Okay! I hate the bus!
327
00:17:57,747 --> 00:17:59,082
Whoa, what?
328
00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:00,583
I'm a fraud!
329
00:18:00,667 --> 00:18:02,377
I've been lying these past two days.
330
00:18:02,460 --> 00:18:04,046
It's okay, we know!
331
00:18:05,422 --> 00:18:08,175
Public transportation is hard.
332
00:18:08,258 --> 00:18:10,843
The seats are small,
it kind of smells...
333
00:18:10,927 --> 00:18:14,264
One time, I fell asleep
and somebody stole my socks.
334
00:18:17,809 --> 00:18:20,062
They left my shoes!
335
00:18:22,897 --> 00:18:25,483
Mi vida, it's not that bad.
336
00:18:25,567 --> 00:18:29,071
Just yesterday,
I took the bus to the farmer's market
337
00:18:29,154 --> 00:18:32,449
and then I went to collect on some
bottles that I had saved.
338
00:18:34,576 --> 00:18:36,869
Wait, so you used mass transit
339
00:18:36,953 --> 00:18:39,747
to shop for locally grown produce
and then recycled?
340
00:18:40,748 --> 00:18:42,551
That's like triple fossil fuel savings.
341
00:18:42,576 --> 00:18:43,443
Mmm.
342
00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:44,752
Oh, my God!
343
00:18:44,836 --> 00:18:46,921
Abuelita's greener than you.
344
00:18:49,091 --> 00:18:52,385
Well, abuelita,
I guess you're my new hero.
345
00:18:52,469 --> 00:18:56,556
Ah, Elena...
I've always been your hero.
346
00:18:59,184 --> 00:19:00,935
Abuelita, what's this?
347
00:19:01,018 --> 00:19:03,438
That is the flier for my dance classes.
348
00:19:03,521 --> 00:19:05,898
I've been hanging them
all over the neighborhood.
349
00:19:07,024 --> 00:19:12,114
"Experienced latina will make your body
do things you didn't know it could"?
350
00:19:15,992 --> 00:19:17,869
What? It's true.
351
00:19:20,747 --> 00:19:23,750
Abuelita, it's just the wording
is kind of provocative.
352
00:19:25,168 --> 00:19:26,503
As is the photo!
353
00:19:30,923 --> 00:19:32,842
Don't be ridícula.
354
00:19:32,925 --> 00:19:36,388
Oh, look, I got 58 new messages.
355
00:19:37,722 --> 00:19:41,184
Wow! Oh, and I got a customer.
356
00:19:42,810 --> 00:19:44,937
His name is Bobby...
357
00:19:45,021 --> 00:19:46,939
and he wants...
358
00:19:47,023 --> 00:19:48,483
I need to get a new phone number.
359
00:19:54,071 --> 00:19:56,073
Congrats on the new car, Alvarez.
360
00:19:56,158 --> 00:19:58,535
Oh, thank you, Riley.
I like this last name thing.
361
00:19:58,618 --> 00:20:00,578
Brings me back to my old Army days.
362
00:20:00,662 --> 00:20:03,665
You know, sometimes I'll get in early
and hang out with the mechanics
363
00:20:03,748 --> 00:20:06,083
just 'cause I miss the swearin' so much.
364
00:20:06,168 --> 00:20:07,419
I have kids.
365
00:20:07,502 --> 00:20:09,504
So I totally fudgin' get that.
366
00:20:09,587 --> 00:20:11,631
But seriously, though,
I feel like I got a really good deal.
367
00:20:11,714 --> 00:20:13,258
Uh, you are a tough negotiator.
368
00:20:13,341 --> 00:20:16,844
In all fairness, you got
a pretty great trade-in, girl.
369
00:20:29,857 --> 00:20:31,901
I can't believe I gave you
40 bucks for that thing.
370
00:20:31,984 --> 00:20:34,446
Hey, it's got a full tank of gas.
371
00:20:34,529 --> 00:20:37,282
The fuel gauge is broken, so you're
gonna have to trust me on that.
372
00:20:37,990 --> 00:20:39,784
Now, just clear out
all your personal effects
373
00:20:39,867 --> 00:20:41,703
and we'll get you squared away.
374
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:48,460
Mrs. Resnick.
375
00:21:02,349 --> 00:21:03,933
I'm gonna miss you, old lady.
376
00:21:15,737 --> 00:21:17,822
Ah! ¡Ay, carajo!
377
00:21:39,511 --> 00:21:40,928
Toni...
378
00:22:12,168 --> 00:22:13,378
Everything all right?
379
00:22:17,715 --> 00:22:19,551
I can't get rid of this car.
380
00:22:23,846 --> 00:22:25,181
I can see why.
381
00:22:34,190 --> 00:22:35,608
Talk to me, Alvarez.
382
00:22:38,695 --> 00:22:40,738
This was Victor's car.
383
00:22:40,822 --> 00:22:42,699
My soon to be ex.
384
00:22:42,782 --> 00:22:44,283
Oh.
385
00:22:45,910 --> 00:22:47,829
Got a lot of memories in here.
386
00:22:48,330 --> 00:22:50,832
We drove off on our honeymoon
in this old lady.
387
00:22:52,083 --> 00:22:55,920
My son was probably conceived
in the front seat or the back seat...
388
00:22:56,003 --> 00:22:57,339
or both.
389
00:22:57,422 --> 00:22:59,716
Well, let's just say it was the back.
390
00:23:04,136 --> 00:23:05,805
He was an infantry man.
391
00:23:08,099 --> 00:23:09,642
He was a good one, too.
392
00:23:14,647 --> 00:23:16,148
In fact...
393
00:23:18,568 --> 00:23:21,404
my husband was a really good man.
394
00:23:29,746 --> 00:23:31,539
He was so charming.
395
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:34,542
And we were happy.
396
00:23:35,585 --> 00:23:38,630
You know, like one of those couples
that other couples hate being around,
397
00:23:38,713 --> 00:23:40,715
'cause it shows them
how not happy they are?
398
00:23:40,798 --> 00:23:42,133
We were that couple.
399
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,761
I hate that couple.
400
00:23:46,888 --> 00:23:49,614
He got sent on some
difficult deployments,
401
00:23:49,639 --> 00:23:51,667
he saw some really tough stuff.
402
00:23:52,727 --> 00:23:55,062
He used to make people laugh.
403
00:23:57,774 --> 00:24:00,402
And after that,
I can't even remember seeing him smile.
404
00:24:01,944 --> 00:24:04,321
He started sleeping
late, then drinking...
405
00:24:06,198 --> 00:24:07,617
He wouldn't get any help.
406
00:24:10,453 --> 00:24:12,163
Then things got really bad.
407
00:24:15,374 --> 00:24:17,168
And it wasn't safe in the house.
408
00:24:24,592 --> 00:24:29,764
Until, finally, one night, I had to
take those keys away from him...
409
00:24:30,973 --> 00:24:33,768
'cause he told me he was gonna
wrap himself around a tree.
410
00:24:33,851 --> 00:24:34,977
Mmm.
411
00:24:37,063 --> 00:24:38,397
That's tough.
412
00:24:39,607 --> 00:24:40,775
And I get it.
413
00:24:42,318 --> 00:24:44,571
I went through some stuff, too,
when I got back.
414
00:24:44,654 --> 00:24:46,155
I'm sorry to bring it up.
415
00:24:46,238 --> 00:24:48,407
No, I can talk about it now,
because I did get help.
416
00:24:49,408 --> 00:24:51,661
I'm in this women's veterans group.
417
00:24:51,744 --> 00:24:53,955
Lot of swearin'. You'll love it.
418
00:24:55,873 --> 00:24:56,999
The hard truth is...
419
00:24:57,083 --> 00:25:00,336
if your husband's not trying to change,
there's nothing you can do.
420
00:25:01,754 --> 00:25:03,089
Trust me on that.
421
00:25:11,180 --> 00:25:12,974
Leaving was the right thing to do.
422
00:25:15,810 --> 00:25:17,812
It's just hard to say goodbye.
423
00:25:21,524 --> 00:25:23,192
I think it's time, Alvarez.
424
00:25:25,236 --> 00:25:28,865
'Cause Mrs. Resnick kind of smells
like a gas leak in Hawaii.
425
00:25:35,788 --> 00:25:36,831
Oh, man!
426
00:25:36,914 --> 00:25:39,792
I haven't talked to another soldier
in a long time.
427
00:25:39,876 --> 00:25:42,128
- This was really nice.
- Yeah.
428
00:25:42,211 --> 00:25:44,338
- You should come to the group.
- Maybe I will.
429
00:25:44,421 --> 00:25:45,840
Yeah. Wait, wait.
430
00:25:45,923 --> 00:25:48,259
What's happening here?
Are we becoming friends?
431
00:25:48,342 --> 00:25:49,636
It's happenin', Alvarez.
432
00:25:51,262 --> 00:25:53,139
And you can stop milking
the shoulder injury.
433
00:25:53,222 --> 00:25:54,431
I already sold you the car.
434
00:25:54,516 --> 00:25:55,767
No, this is a real injury.
435
00:25:55,850 --> 00:25:56,976
- Oh, sorry.
- No, it's okay.
436
00:25:57,059 --> 00:25:58,770
I'll tell you about it in the group.
437
00:25:58,853 --> 00:26:01,564
It'd be nice to talk
to a bunch of lady soldiers.
438
00:26:01,648 --> 00:26:03,858
- It's hard to find women who get me.
- Oh, me, too.
439
00:26:03,941 --> 00:26:05,652
What is wrong with civilian women?
440
00:26:05,735 --> 00:26:07,403
I know, right? It's like...
441
00:26:07,486 --> 00:26:09,488
"Let's get mani-pedis."
442
00:26:11,448 --> 00:26:13,075
But I think we should
totally get mani-pedis.
443
00:26:13,159 --> 00:26:15,787
Mmm-hmm. I could use a fill-in
like nobody's business.
444
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,832
Is this great or is this great?
445
00:26:19,916 --> 00:26:22,877
Look at us all together as a family.
446
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:26,964
It's just like growing up in Cuba.
¡Salud!
447
00:26:30,843 --> 00:26:32,804
I haven't even shown you
guys the best part.
448
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:34,889
Play my jam.
449
00:26:34,972 --> 00:26:37,099
- No!
- What?
450
00:26:37,183 --> 00:26:40,645
♪ Un-break my heart ♪
451
00:26:41,187 --> 00:26:45,024
♪ Say you'll love me again ♪
452
00:26:45,692 --> 00:26:49,320
♪ Undo this hurt that you caused ♪
453
00:26:49,403 --> 00:26:53,199
♪ When you walked out the door
And walked out of my life ♪
454
00:26:53,282 --> 00:26:54,533
Come on!
455
00:26:54,617 --> 00:26:58,996
- ♪ Un-cry these tears ♪
- ♪ Baby, baby, baby ♪
456
00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:03,500
♪ I cried so many nights ♪
457
00:27:03,585 --> 00:27:07,171
♪ Un-break my heart ♪
458
00:27:11,449 --> 00:27:13,449
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