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Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked)
by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew
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(Grinding, whirring, banging)
3
00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,230
What are they building? The noise!
4
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,073
They'll finish soon,
we'll have a quiet Sunday.
5
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(Loud grinding)
6
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:40,516
- Jesus.
- We'll just have to blank it out.
7
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:45,517
Hi. Hi. Erm, I was wondering
if you could do a book search for me?
8
00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,273
I'm looking for a biography of Schubert.
9
00:00:48,360 --> 00:00:51,909
So if you could hunt it up for me,
I'll wait here.
10
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,600
What kind of coffee do you do?
11
00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,275
This is a book shop, we don't do coffee.
12
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,590
- The other book shops do.
- Listen, you...
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(Drowned out by grinding)
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This Schubert, this book search,
how does it work?
15
00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:20,636
Well, you know.
You just... and it pops up.
16
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We've a different sort of...
17
00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:26,996
here.
18
00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,435
Get on your knees.
19
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,476
Put your hands on the floor.
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From where you are now
to that far corner is our music section.
21
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It's a bit mixed up with aviation,
botany and pregnancy.
22
00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:42,795
- Search!
- (Thunderous grinding)
23
00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,079
That is the kind of thing
that is going to put customers off.
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00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:53,550
- (Grinding resumes)
- Go and see when the noise will stop!
25
00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:00,753
- (Grinding stops)
- Well?
26
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,753
- (Grinding)
- (Drowned out)
27
00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:06,717
- (Grinding stops)
- What?
28
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:10,031
(Drowned out by grinding)
29
00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,076
Just wait!
30
00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,230
(Grinding stops)
31
00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:17,916
(Grinding resumes)
32
00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,236
So what did he say?
33
00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:24,676
He'll start again after lunch,
it'll get worse tomorrow.
34
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:29,311
- They wake you?
- Seven o'clock. I was doing my t'ai chi.
35
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:32,472
It's not actually illegal to kill a builder.
36
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,994
Hey, hey, hey! It's Sunday, right?
37
00:02:35,080 --> 00:02:37,036
- Yes.
- And we want to get away?
38
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,270
- Yes.
- Why don't we...
39
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:42,193
go to the park?
40
00:02:42,280 --> 00:02:46,273
Did that suggestion
deserve the preface "Hey, hey, hey"?
41
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,154
- What about the cinema?
- Let's see.
42
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,230
"in the trenches of the First World War."
43
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:02,709
- No.
- What else?
44
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:06,876
Here we go - "Regression.
45
00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,111
"Richard Gere kills himself
to go into the past
46
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,829
"to rescue himself as a child
so he can grow up to kill himself
47
00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:16,514
"to rescue himself as a child
so he can..."
48
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,750
- No!
- There must be something else.
49
00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:20,796
What's this?
50
00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,156
"Blue Tunes. Matt Damon,
Ben Affleck, Minnie Driver."
51
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:27,038
- I hate her.
- "Grouchy Leonard Blue
52
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:31,318
"runs a record shop with halfwit
moustachioed assistant Danny."
53
00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,038
Ha!
54
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:36,430
"When they team up
with neurotic neighbour Pam
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"things become a riot of laughs."
56
00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,633
Where do they get this crap?
A child could...
57
00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:44,154
- They think we're idiots.
- Wankers.
58
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,196
They all think they're great.
59
00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:48,669
(Sighs) We have to do something.
60
00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:51,592
Er, the usual, please.
61
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:55,275
- What is your usual?
- I haven't decided yet.
62
00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:58,557
I quite like the idea
of asking for the usual.
63
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,189
Come on, let's get back.
He must be gone, it's lunch.
64
00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:04,236
The usual.
65
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:07,039
(American accent) Hey, the usual, please.
66
00:04:07,120 --> 00:04:09,076
Er, usual, please.
67
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:12,755
(Posh accent) Can I have the usual?
Usual, please.
68
00:04:16,520 --> 00:04:18,476
(Whirring and banging)
69
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,276
We have to do something!
70
00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:24,510
Let's go out for Sunday lunch.
71
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,511
- All right.
- Where? Where?
72
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,912
There's this new place, very in -
The Mortuary.
73
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:35,357
No vegetables, everything's
dead animals on little headstones.
74
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,550
Why does it have to be fancy?
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00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:41,552
I just want sausage, mash
and a bit of cake.
76
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,394
Not twigs fried in honey
or a donkey in a coffin.
77
00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,631
Let's go to that place
that does chicken and things.
78
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:52,599
- OK. Oh, what shall we wear?
- Excuse me?
79
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,399
- What sort of place is it?
- A restaurant.
80
00:04:55,480 --> 00:04:59,109
Shall we dress up or down?
- You can dress upside down, inside out,
81
00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:01,839
you'll still eat your spaghetti like a pig.
82
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:04,753
- Can we just go to lunch?
- Give us a minute,
83
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,434
I have to get my contact lenses.
84
00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:12,197
(Banging)
85
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,477
Ber... Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber-Ber...
86
00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:25,551
Fix her, will you?
87
00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:31,317
Ber-Ber-Bernard, they're building for
two weeks, there's a sign. We can't stay.
88
00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,073
- (Grinding)
- I'll sort them out later.
89
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:36,799
- What are you gonna do?
- What can you do?
90
00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,836
I'll write to the council.
91
00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:42,435
- What are you gonna say?
- I'll say, "Dear Council...
92
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:48,152
"Please don't build beside us
for the next two weeks."
93
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:51,755
- What if that doesn't work?
- Yeah, what are you gonna do?
94
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,910
- Wanna know what I'll do?
- Yeah.
95
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:56,673
I will... drink heavily and shout at you!
96
00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,799
- (Grinding)
- But I won't hear cos I'll be in Drillsville!
97
00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,757
Then I'll write to you as well!
98
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:05,673
- (Grinding stops)
- We'll have to go away.
99
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:09,070
It's perfect,
it's a good excuse to have a holiday.
100
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,469
- Come on, we all need a change.
- (Grinding)
101
00:06:11,560 --> 00:06:13,278
We're not going anywhere!
102
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,113
- This place'll be hell.
- I am not going on holiday.
103
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,430
- Wait.
- (Grinding stops)
104
00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:22,037
Look, look.
105
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,236
- What's this?
- Photos of my trip.
106
00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,709
Ooh, it's lovely. Is it Bali?
107
00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,475
- Mauritius. Well? Well?
- What?
108
00:06:30,560 --> 00:06:33,028
They're like any holiday photographs,
109
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:37,033
people stood about squinting
who didn't realise they were that fat.
110
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:41,557
That's us outside a restaurant.
And that's us outside a hotel.
111
00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:44,234
Whoo! What a transformation!
112
00:06:44,320 --> 00:06:47,517
Oh, and - ha - that's Eddie,
he was our map reader,
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00:06:47,600 --> 00:06:50,273
he's a gallery owner
but, er, he lives in Kent.
114
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,634
This is the only one of the whole group.
115
00:06:55,720 --> 00:07:00,430
Probably one of the few times in my life
when I've been truly happy.
116
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:06,275
Why are you showing me these?
I don't know these people.
117
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:09,033
The only use
this photograph would be to me
118
00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:13,079
would be if I was a hit man
and somebody asked me to kill Eddie,
119
00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:15,230
the gallery owner from Trent.
120
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,390
- Kent.
- I don't care!
121
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,436
- I'm not going.
- Fine.
122
00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,990
We'll go. You stay
and get your head drilled to bits.
123
00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:26,629
We are going to sunbathe, read,
and have silly drinks on a beach.
124
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,915
Beach? No! I want the unknown -
125
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:32,515
mystery, strange places, snakes, jungle.
126
00:07:32,600 --> 00:07:36,309
Manny, I am not going
to spend my holiday in a snake pit.
127
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,868
- Shut up. Where's this sign?
- Outside.
128
00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:44,310
There must be somewhere
that has jungle AND beach.
129
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,631
What do you do in there,
anyway, in a jungle?
130
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:51,679
Well, you see how many miles
you can walk in a day.
131
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:55,355
Yeah, but the heat -
you must get so dehydrated.
132
00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:59,672
Yeah, well, in a tight spot
you can always drink your own urine.
133
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:03,548
Yeah, but what about the insects?
And how do you wash?
134
00:08:03,640 --> 00:08:09,192
That's not such a big priority when
you're quaffing pints of your own whizz.
135
00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,076
Excuse me, sorry.
Could I just...? Thank you.
136
00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:32,596
Thanks.
137
00:08:44,560 --> 00:08:46,596
- Perfect.
- I'll sort it.
138
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,513
Don't get ripped off. Book it after lunch.
139
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,556
Forget lunch.
140
00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:55,235
- And I'm not going to Thailand.
- You said you weren't going anywhere.
141
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,790
Doo-dah didn't say they're
building round the clock.
142
00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,836
So forget beaches and jungles,
143
00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:04,674
we're going where I can read, sit,
and have a quiet drink.
144
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,718
So your ideal holiday
would in fact be here?
145
00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:11,839
Correct.
So find somewhere exactly like this.
146
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,309
With a jungle.
147
00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,437
And a bit of beach?
We're never gonna find anything.
148
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,990
Here we are -
"The sunlit island of Saint-Honoré.
149
00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:23,913
"A tropical jungle
engirdled with golden sands
150
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:28,198
"boasting the hemisphere's
only English book shop and bar."
151
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,670
- I suppose that'll have to do.
- And it's got a website.
152
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,797
Manny, do the flights.
I'll get the essentials.
153
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:38,111
- Where are you going?
- To pack. Back in two minutes.
154
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,431
Right. Better get cracking.
Get the suitcase...
155
00:09:41,520 --> 00:09:44,353
(Whirring)
156
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:47,751
Right, what do we need?
157
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,434
What do we need? Ah.
158
00:09:50,520 --> 00:09:53,193
Sun cream, first-aid kit, sunglasses,
159
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:55,635
cologne, and... yep.
160
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,671
Get rid of the rubbish.
161
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,670
Good, you're putting stuff in.
Thanks for helping.
162
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:11,116
Phrase books,
traveller's cheques, insect stuff...
163
00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:13,350
- Music!
- Music, good point.
164
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:16,796
- (Drilling)
- CD player, CDs...
165
00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:18,950
and... clothes.
166
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:26,639
Crap.
167
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:29,439
Crap, crap, crap, crap.
168
00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,791
Right. And very important - malaria pills.
169
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,596
- Right.
- Good thinking.
170
00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:45,240
- Would you get the corkscrew?
- Yep.
171
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,237
There you go.
172
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,595
Now, that's what I call teamwork.
173
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,355
(Crash)
174
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,756
- You done?
- You've been ages!
175
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,796
What's in the bag?
176
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:19,839
(Panting) Oh, it's nothing.
Just, you know, women's bits.
177
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,876
Walk away from the bag.
178
00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:24,189
Manny.
179
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,069
No! Don't open it! It's private!
180
00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:32,196
It's girls' things! No!
181
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,868
Just as I thought! Put her in the chair.
182
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:40,351
No! No! No! No!
183
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,596
We're here to help you.
184
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:52,591
You don't understand.
185
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,830
We understand that you're ill.
186
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,675
When you've learned to be sensible,
you can have this.
187
00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:14,232
- You don't really need these.
- Of course I do.
188
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,276
They're my slow dancing mules.
189
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,716
And you don't need these.
190
00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:24,112
I do. Suppose we're invited to a...
yacht party by drug dealers.
191
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:27,076
Two pairs, more than you need.
192
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,720
Just one more! Take something else out.
193
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:35,839
No, contact lenses and
emergency money, throw it away.
194
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,036
Erm, erm... Show me those.
195
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,315
Those. And those. Those.
196
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:45,440
You can take one pair.
197
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,029
Oh, I... I can't decide.
198
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,230
You can't make me choose.
199
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:54,675
What's it to be? One pair! Come on!
200
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:57,638
Oh, erm...
Well, those ones are comfortable.
201
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,836
- Right, in they go.
- No! Wait!
202
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,310
- Show me those ones again.
- These are weird.
203
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,551
They are beautiful.
204
00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:10,599
They make strong men cry
in train stations. Put them in.
205
00:13:10,680 --> 00:13:12,716
Right, well, that's your lot.
206
00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,436
Bernard, got your passport?
207
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:18,476
For God's sake, of course I do.
208
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,596
Actually, I don't. Go and get it.
209
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:24,070
- Where is it?
- Where does anybody keep them?
210
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:28,034
It's in the... building.
211
00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:31,556
Bernard, go and get it.
We all have to work together.
212
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:33,995
All right, all right.
213
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,036
So, we have everything?
214
00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:40,238
Yep, let's just check the list
to be double super-safety sure.
215
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,073
I'll stop you if we've missed something.
216
00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:46,038
Right, OK. 1950s-style windbreaker
217
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:49,271
with two-tone lining and self-stripe cuffs.
218
00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,272
- Sta-Prest peach slacks...
- Manny.
219
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,316
Let's just say clothes.
220
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:57,039
Yeah, all right. Done.
221
00:13:57,120 --> 00:14:00,874
We have traveller's cheques, insurance,
Bernard's getting his passport.
222
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,315
Sun screen,
insect repellent, phrase books?
223
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,118
- Jawohl.
- Booked the taxi?
224
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,873
- Done!
- Saint-Honoré here we come!
225
00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,076
What time is the flight?
226
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,435
The... Hmm?
227
00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,996
You didn't book the flights.
228
00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:18,753
I'm so sorry, I got distracted by the...
229
00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,796
And, erm...
230
00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,992
My... my pants aren't that easy to fold.
231
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,956
Not a problem. It's on the net, you said.
232
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,996
Yeah. Easy, easy.
233
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:40,716
(Beeping, dialling)
234
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,270
(Data transfer noise)
235
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,356
OK, what's the name of the site?
236
00:14:48,440 --> 00:14:52,592
Er, yeah, I know, it's, erm...
Holiday... ding dot thing.
237
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:58,034
Er, no, no. Erm... Holiday at...
238
00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,599
dot...
239
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,756
...holiday. Quick, quick.
240
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,516
I wanted it to be safe.
241
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,396
Ha!
242
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,589
No, that's not it.
This button doesn't work, look.
243
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:23,796
You are pressing my hand.
244
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,432
Manny, you must remember
the name of the site.
245
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,476
Ah! Naughty little passport.
246
00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,190
Hiding in the crisps again!
247
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,719
Manny, we have been
doing this now for five hours.
248
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,472
Where did you see the name of the site?
249
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,869
- In the papers.
- Which bit?
250
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,552
The travel section.
251
00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,632
Which is open
just there on the top, isn't it?
252
00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,676
Yep, yep.
253
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:16,068
Could you read the ad out
from the paper to me, please?
254
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,116
"Fly-Saint-Honoré. Com."
255
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:24,319
I had it in my hand.
I wanted it to be safe.
256
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,396
I went over here...
257
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,075
- Where can it be?
- Right, got it.
258
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:34,755
- Oh, Fran, you're a genius.
- We can't go, I've no passport.
259
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,149
- Have you checked your desk?
- What? No.
260
00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,196
Oh, yes, there it is.
261
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:45,515
Right. Sorted.
We've got a bargain. Better go to bed,
262
00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:48,194
it's an early flight, saves us money.
263
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,919
- I'll get us up.
- No. You can't be trusted.
264
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,231
- I'm staying awake.
- Yeah, I'd better kip here.
265
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,073
- Can I have your bed?
- Yeah.
266
00:16:57,160 --> 00:17:00,789
- Got any bin liners?
- In the kitchen.
267
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:06,672
- And, er, Dettol?
- Under the sink.
268
00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,476
- Ajax?
- Yeah, just here.
269
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,278
Thanks.
270
00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:14,477
Are you really actually
gonna get in the bed?
271
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:16,755
- Yeah.
- Right. Erm...
272
00:17:16,840 --> 00:17:19,115
- Take these.
- No, I'm not hungry.
273
00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:22,510
No, it's not for you.
Just chuck 'em under the bed.
274
00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:25,797
What...? What's... what's under the bed?
275
00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,836
Dunno.
276
00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,035
We just call it the Thing.
277
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,994
(Bernard moans)
278
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:42,072
(Car horn toots)
279
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,995
- Come on, come on!
- Come on!
280
00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:56,832
Wake up! Wake up! Get up!
281
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,512
Cab's outside, come on!
282
00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,670
Hmm? Come on! Hmm?
283
00:18:00,760 --> 00:18:02,955
Final check. Final.
284
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,632
Good.
285
00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,109
Good. Come on!
286
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,952
Come on!
287
00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:11,270
Wake up! Get up!
288
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,076
Listen, there's a slight catch.
289
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,390
These flights are very cheap.
290
00:18:18,480 --> 00:18:20,436
Four quid each.
291
00:18:20,520 --> 00:18:22,476
Quite reasonable, yes.
292
00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,028
So we have to make
a couple of changeovers.
293
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:29,159
- (Bernard) How does that work?
- Well, to get to the Canaries
294
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:31,196
we have to change...
295
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,430
(Clears throat)... in New Zealand.
296
00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,636
What? That's practically in France!
297
00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:38,632
- I know.
- Why don't we just go there?
298
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,996
We could have sake at the rodeo
and go home on a sled with camels.
299
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:44,036
We're just refuelling.
300
00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,076
And then we change again at...
301
00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,116
(Clears throat)... Stansted.
302
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:50,236
I've always wanted to go there.
303
00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:53,471
- Nice, is it?
- They've got these trains
304
00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:55,676
that have no driver.
305
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,955
Ah? Have they?
306
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:00,474
We'll just be there for a few days.
307
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,516
In and around the airport.
308
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,752
- In, mostly.
- That's where the trains are.
309
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,355
And then it's straight on
to sunny Saint-Honoré!
310
00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:14,149
(PA) 'Would passengers Black,
Bianco and Katzenjammer
311
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,595
- 'please go to gate 4.'
- That's us.
312
00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:19,717
Wait, wait. Let's see if they do it again.
313
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,951
'Passengers Black,
Bianco and Katzenjammer,
314
00:19:23,040 --> 00:19:25,713
- 'please go to gate 4 now.'
- (AII cheer)
315
00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:38,589
It must be the last connection.
We must be nearly home.
316
00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:41,114
- Is this Prague?
- I don't care.
317
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,475
I'm not getting on another plane.
318
00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,869
I think this is Miami.
319
00:19:45,960 --> 00:19:49,430
Fine. I'm gonna live here
and sell guns to children.
320
00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:52,637
- You liked Saint-Honoré.
- I did!
321
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,598
I thoroughly enjoyed
our four hours there.
322
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:58,114
You can't say the flights weren't cheap.
323
00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:02,193
And you can't say
we didn't spend 13 days on a plane.
324
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,271
574.
325
00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:07,796
574 what?
326
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,348
I kept them all.
327
00:20:10,440 --> 00:20:13,477
574 of these little towel things.
328
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:16,676
Let's get a drink.
329
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,716
This might be Nairobi.
330
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,395
No, it's definitely Minsk.
331
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:24,675
You're both wrong. It's obvious.
332
00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:27,228
He's got all the trademark piercings.
333
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,355
Hakim yoba hara hakhyakh!
334
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,952
Uloddivisholov neinsbar.
335
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,756
(Clears throat)
336
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,673
Anvill kerrigan godean lethes.
337
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,674
(SIowly) Where are we?
338
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,070
- Heathrow, love.
- Oh, hey, we're home!
339
00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,470
Ohhh. Erm,
three glasses of Merlot, please.
340
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:00,152
(Sighs)
341
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:04,199
Oh, don't look at me like that.
Hey, it wasn't all bad.
342
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:08,319
How many people can say
they've been on a hospital river boat?
343
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:12,359
And you can be sure they didn't
get to operate on themselves.
344
00:21:12,440 --> 00:21:15,193
Just as well
they thought Manny was a god.
345
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,239
It'll be some time before
I want to sacrifice another monkey.
346
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,596
We said we wouldn't talk about Canada!
347
00:21:22,680 --> 00:21:24,591
Let's go home.
348
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,875
- Have you got your keys?
- No.
349
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,396
I left them in the bag
which you kindly lost.
350
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,436
Ah.
351
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:34,476
What do you mean, "Ah"?
352
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,437
Well, I think that...
353
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,476
my keys were in there as well.
354
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:41,358
Were they? Funny, isn't it, travel?
355
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,396
Just one thing after another.
356
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,789
- You're fired.
- Oh, now, look.
357
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,952
And after I dislodge
and return your thong,
358
00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,679
I never want to see you again either.
359
00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,519
(Grunts)
360
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,278
Do you want to jump?
361
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,999
- I came down gradually...
- Get away from me!
362
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:07,756
It was a thrill to recreate with you
but now our association ends.
363
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:11,628
You have brought nothing
but pain, penury
364
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,950
and strife into my days.
365
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,271
I wish you good fortune
in whatever avenue of life
366
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:19,828
you assault with your presence.
367
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:21,990
Here's your redundancy package.
368
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,674
Sorry it's in Phrenobian wooden dollars
369
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:26,796
but that's largely your fault!
370
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:29,314
Now, good luck and goodbye!
371
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,755
You can't run the place on your own.
372
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:33,796
I'll struggle on somehow.
373
00:22:37,280 --> 00:22:39,271
No. I don't accept your apology.
374
00:22:39,360 --> 00:22:41,794
Give it another 30 years.
And take this with you.
375
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,075
- Bernard.
- What?
376
00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:46,833
- Do you want to come outside?
- I'm cold.
377
00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:49,992
I have got chilblains, tinnitus and thrush!
378
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,674
If you want to fight, come inside.
379
00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:11,389
(Maniacal giggling)
380
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:16,830
(Simian gibbering)
381
00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:21,557
The noise. Th-th-th-th-the noise!
382
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:23,676
B-b-b-b-b-b-but found it.
383
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:26,832
Found it! I found it!
384
00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:36,439
Manny, could you look after the shop
by yourself for a while?
385
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,715
- Sure.
- What are you going to do?
386
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,876
I am going on holiday.
387
00:23:46,000 --> 00:24:16,000
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