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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:08,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 2 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,790 Fran! Fran! Fran! 3 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,394 Bernard, Bernard! 4 00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:43,675 There you are. Wait till you hear this. 5 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:48,356 No, me first. I can't hold onto this one. My story goes first. 6 00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:51,193 - No! I'm not backing down. - Neither am I. 7 00:00:51,280 --> 00:00:53,157 - You know what that means. - Count. 8 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,117 One, two, three. 9 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,273 (Screaming) 10 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:03,715 - Say "peanuts". - Peanuts. 11 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:06,234 - I want Manny in on this. - No, he's no good. 12 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:10,199 He stayed up all night with his birthday present. 13 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,670 A complete set of The Sweeney and an espresso machine. 14 00:01:17,400 --> 00:01:20,472 (Phone) 15 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,949 Hello? What? Do me a favour. 16 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,237 It's a flamin' bookshop. Course we got Jane Austen. 17 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:28,919 (Bell) 18 00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:36,472 Right. OK, my story. 19 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:38,676 - Imagine, yeah? - Yeah. 20 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,354 - Imagine you're a woman. - OK. 21 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,750 - And now imagine... - Wait! I'm still... 22 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:55,034 OK. And now imagine you have a boyfriend. 23 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,839 (Giggling) 24 00:01:57,920 --> 00:02:02,118 OK? And now imagine you see that boyfriend... 25 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,839 with another woman. 26 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:06,592 (Whimpers) 27 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:11,512 - OK! My story! - It's Peter I'm talking about. 28 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,591 Peter wouldn't do that to me... you. 29 00:02:13,680 --> 00:02:17,229 He's scum. This morning, I was getting into my car... 30 00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:31,509 - I just feel so... - Awww. 31 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,318 Now, my story. 32 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,959 - You know Gerald and Sarah? - Gerald, er, your friend... 33 00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,873 Friend? When I first came to London, 34 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:44,599 he put me up, he lent me money, 35 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,114 he helped me find a job, this place. 36 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,634 I was an incredibly good friend to him. 37 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,156 And even though, even though I fancied his girlfriend, 38 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,196 I did not make a pass at her. 39 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,669 Well, once. Twice. A few times. 40 00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:01,070 But not after I realised just how angry it made him. 41 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,674 - Once, but only... - Get on with the story. 42 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:14,514 Well, a big hangover. 43 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:17,160 So I went to the chemist to get some fizzigood. 44 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:20,038 - Some what? - Fizzigood - make feel nice. 45 00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,429 - Oh, Alka-Seltzer. - Yeah. 46 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,551 "Soluble." 47 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:31,591 Mm. Mm. Make feel nice. 48 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,956 (Mumbling) Fizzigood feel nice. 49 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:38,237 Gerald! Sarah! Thanks for the dinner party! 50 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,557 'Completely blanked me.' 51 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,676 Well, maybe they didn't see you. 52 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,149 Could something have distracted them? 53 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:47,912 Like what? 54 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,389 Gunfire. Was somebody shooting? 55 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:55,832 Let's see. Was someone firing a gun? Was someone firing...? 56 00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:57,273 No, I don't think so. 57 00:03:57,360 --> 00:04:00,318 Manny, you look like you could use some sleep. 58 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,516 Yeah, yeah, in a little bit. 59 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,716 The thing is, this bloke behind me, 60 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,314 behind me, behind me... don't look! 61 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,075 - I reckon he's got a shooter. - He's a hundred years old. 62 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:14,996 You're wired on coffee and cops. 63 00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:18,629 And so what? So they blanked you. 64 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,871 So what? So what? They blanked me. 65 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,270 That's a powerful thing in civilised society. 66 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,952 It's like, it's like... 67 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:30,715 when the Mafia send each other fish through the post. 68 00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,631 You must've done something awful. 69 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,790 Something really awful. Do you think? 70 00:04:34,880 --> 00:04:40,273 Oh. You didn't do that thing? Your Belly Savalas thing? 71 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,477 No, I didn't do Belly Savalas. 72 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:49,517 So, Bernard, being blanked really made you feel that bad? 73 00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:51,477 Yeah. Terrible! 74 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,834 Hmm. 75 00:04:52,920 --> 00:04:56,037 Manny, get some sleep. 76 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,197 Something really awful. God, what did I do? 77 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,999 What did I do? Think! Think! 78 00:05:04,080 --> 00:05:06,036 Get down! 79 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,838 Thank you. Enjoy. 80 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,388 It's dreadful but it's quite short. 81 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,593 Manny! Come over here. 82 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,353 You want a case? I'll give you a case. 83 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,874 Figure out what I did last night. 84 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:29,632 OK, the dinner party. 85 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,672 Ooh! 86 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:34,079 What? 87 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,472 Sat on myself. 88 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:50,268 All right. Let's start by reconstructing the evening. 89 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:51,839 Who else was there? 90 00:05:51,920 --> 00:05:54,912 Well, Gerald and Sarah, obviously. 91 00:05:57,720 --> 00:06:00,553 - What's their D-40? - Well... What? 92 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:04,315 - What do they do? - Oh. Gerald's a food writer. 93 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:08,552 He had a big hit with Basic Meals for the Ultra-Rich. 94 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,996 Sarah's an interior designer. She's on that programme, 95 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:13,991 - Pet Surprise. - Pet Surprise? 96 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:15,798 - What's that? - Oh, you know. 97 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,917 They take the dog out, he thinks it's a normal walk, 98 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,116 but when they come back... 99 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,869 the kennel has a patio and French doors. 100 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,110 Yep. Yeah, yeah. 101 00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,509 Then they take the blindfold off... 102 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,670 And he's like, "Oh, my God." 103 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,228 - Right. - And there were a few others, 104 00:06:34,320 --> 00:06:36,993 people who talk about salad for five hours. 105 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:40,390 (Bernard, drunkenly) And then I won again. 106 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:43,836 He was smaller than me, only eight, but I still won. 107 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:48,072 I won again and again and again and again. 108 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:51,630 So. How much had you had to drink... 109 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,676 before you turned up? 110 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,593 - You assume I'd been drinking. - How much? 111 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,638 - How much? How much? - That I'd... have a... 112 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:01,631 - How much? - A couple of bottles. 113 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:04,188 Right. So you were in a bit of a state. 114 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:05,508 No, I was fine. 115 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,512 Oh, come on! Think! 116 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:10,397 (Doorbell) 117 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:11,629 (Police radio) 118 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,154 - Hiya. - Is this yours? 119 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:16,879 - Er, yes. - Misunderstanding. 120 00:07:16,960 --> 00:07:20,555 Not her fault. She's young. High spirits. Thanks! 121 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,870 Try and keep it indoors. 122 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,430 See what you did? You made the police come to their house! 123 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,478 Wow. There's more. 124 00:07:29,560 --> 00:07:31,949 Oh, God, Bernard, look at you! 125 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:35,430 I'm a happy-go-lucky scamp. 126 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:40,799 Exquisite gifts, as always. You're very early, Bernard. 127 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:43,917 Oh. You remember Jimbo, don't you? 128 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,434 I'm not sure. What do you do? 129 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,432 - No, he's our son. - Oh, thank God. 130 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,069 I thought you had a disease. Oh, this is a child. 131 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,912 (Sarah) Gerald? Can you help me, please? 132 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:02,470 Ah, Jim. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. 133 00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:05,791 Come here. We'll do the thing. Ah! 134 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:07,552 Here. 135 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,871 Here... there we go. 136 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,428 Take it. Shh... Take it. 137 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:17,229 Now... Actually, Jim, can I have that back? 138 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:18,878 Shh. Thanks. 139 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:21,599 Jim, have I told you about the old country? 140 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,433 The songs, Jim. Oh, they'd melt your face. 141 00:08:24,520 --> 00:08:27,592 ♪ Oh, I live in a shoe on Moore Street 142 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,035 ♪ I'm a prostitute from Newry ♪ 143 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,031 The child's involved somehow. 144 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,395 He's done something and pinned it on me. 145 00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:38,917 Huh. It's always the children, isn't it, Bernard? 146 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,594 Manny, if you have one more sip of coffee... 147 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:44,956 (Old woman) Help! Help! Help! 148 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,837 I got it! 149 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:52,278 - Help! Help! - Wait! Stop! 150 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,749 ( Cop show chase music) 151 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,954 (Music stops) 152 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:17,190 (Music resumes) 153 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:39,318 All right? 154 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:55,674 (Old woman) And my keys! My house keys, they were in it. 155 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,672 How will I get into my house without my keys? 156 00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,955 It was a plainclothes policeman? 157 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,429 Yes. Oh, officer, officer... 158 00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:12,515 Bernard! 159 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,392 Bernard! 160 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:21,429 No questions, OK? Can you do my shoelace? 161 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,829 No can do, neckface. 162 00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:28,998 - What happened to you? - What happened to you? 163 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,274 You first. 164 00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,830 No, come on. Are you the next Bond villain? 165 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:36,673 You should have "Dorset - 5 miles" on you. 166 00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:38,876 Come on, you tell. Tell me. 167 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:41,793 Don't mind this. It's a very dull story. Come on. 168 00:10:41,880 --> 00:10:43,632 No, no. You first, come on. 169 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,358 - Tell me. - No. 170 00:10:45,440 --> 00:10:47,556 Oww! 171 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,073 - Tell me. - Tell me. 172 00:10:49,160 --> 00:10:53,950 - Ah, ah, ah! - (Laughing) No, no, no! 173 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:57,476 Ahh! OK, OK, OK, OK, OK. 174 00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:58,993 OK. 175 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:03,198 You remember when I told you I saw Peter with that girl? 176 00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:04,872 Mm-hmm. 177 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,918 I couldn't get it out of my head so I shut the shop, 178 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:12,118 went down the beauty parlour and got myself done. 179 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:16,034 'When the next thing, who walks by the window but Peter? ' 180 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,471 Then I remembered what you said 181 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,835 about the awesome power of the blank. 182 00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,593 'And I knew I might not get a second chance.' 183 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:39,672 So you dealt with this in a mature, reason... 184 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,478 Shut up. Anyway... 185 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:43,118 Fran? 186 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,069 Fran? 187 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,998 Fran? 188 00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:52,798 Fran! 189 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,233 (Tyres screeching) 190 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:55,389 (Thud) 191 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,311 You were knocked down and... 192 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,960 No, that's not how I got this. 193 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,031 The way I got this was... 194 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,998 No, it's too embarrassing. You next, what happened? 195 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,277 - Well, I was... - (Phone) 196 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:10,351 - We're closed. - We're closed! 197 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,791 (Quietly) Hello? Hello? Hello?! 198 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:21,758 Yeah, yeah. Hello... Raiders. 199 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:25,037 You'd just better watch it! 200 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:30,877 Or I'll be down your manor with all the other policemen! 201 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:35,909 And we'll arrest your arse. Goodbye. 202 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,753 You know, I thought you might want some coffee. 203 00:12:38,840 --> 00:12:40,751 - No, I've gotta go. - No, wait. 204 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,718 We need you. Look, got a favour to ask. 205 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,109 We got someone who isn't turning over. 206 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,236 Could you sit in on the interview? 207 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,596 - Hey? - What's with the face fungus? 208 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,389 Er... undercover. Undercover work. 209 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,278 Gotta blend in with a heavy metal group 210 00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,669 who stole some... furniture. 211 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,115 - Right. - Bastards! 212 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,555 So anyway, can you help us out? 213 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,757 No, l-I can't, I really can't. They need me on the job. 214 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,354 Hang on. Who's your governor? I'll ask him. 215 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:14,796 - Oh, what the hell. - Good lad. 216 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:16,677 - Grab your coffee. - Right. 217 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,716 (Gulping) 218 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,550 OK, so far, we've been going at him hard. 219 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:28,555 It might be time he found that sympathetic ear he needs. 220 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:32,997 Know what I mean? So I'm nasty, you're nice. OK? 221 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,559 - (Mumbles) - What? 222 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:38,872 - You're not so bad. - No, no. In the interview. 223 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:44,432 Oh, yeah, yeah. I was, er... making a police joke. 224 00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:46,829 Yeah, right. It's Barry, by the way. 225 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:50,230 - Carter. - Carter? Yeah, lovely. 226 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,198 We'll let him sweat it out for a few minutes, OK? 227 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,840 Finish your coffee. It's not bad, is it? 228 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:58,195 (Squeaking unintelligibly) 229 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,556 Bernard! Come on! 230 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:03,551 (Bernard groans, cork pops) 231 00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:06,870 So, what happened? 232 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:09,992 All right. After you left, 233 00:14:10,080 --> 00:14:12,992 I remembered something about the dinner party. 234 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:16,516 I did do Belly Savalas. 235 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,273 Dooby, dooby, dooby, dooby. 236 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:23,353 What's that? I can't hear you, Belly Savalas. 237 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,032 (Pop!) 238 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,076 Who loves you, baby? 239 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,469 Ha ha. What about that, eh? 240 00:14:30,560 --> 00:14:35,475 But I also realised it wasn't Belly Savalas that upset them. 241 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,596 It was something else. 242 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,875 Something much, much worse. 243 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,038 Oh, you didn't do Cobumbo, did you? 244 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:49,031 No. I didn't have any cigars. 245 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:53,229 All right, so you were knocked down. 246 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:57,074 Even though I wasn't badly hurt, I went to hospital for checks. 247 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,833 And Peter insisted on coming with me. 248 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:00,955 OK. 249 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:03,031 I blanked him in the ambulance. 250 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:05,236 How do you blank somebody in an ambulance? 251 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,357 Come on, Fran. Keep your eyes fixed on mine. Come on! 252 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,670 Fran? Your eyes on mine. 253 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,830 Keep your eyes fixed on mine! 254 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:14,717 (Cracking) 255 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,598 Fran! Fran! Hurry, man, hurry! 256 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,638 Did you ever get to tell him why you were blanking him? 257 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,233 I certainly did. 258 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:27,551 I spent some time explaining in very clear terms 259 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:29,596 why he was a scumbag 260 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:33,593 and the fancy lady he was with was a slut. 261 00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,872 - It was his sister. - Yes. 262 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,119 He was comforting her. 263 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,997 Just lost her job. 264 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:44,991 Ah. He won't be seeing you again? 265 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:49,949 He says he wants to see other, less mad women. 266 00:15:50,040 --> 00:15:51,792 All right, now you, come on. 267 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,633 I want to know how you became the little teapot. 268 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,234 I don't want to tell it again for Manny. Where is he? 269 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,876 Remember, I'm nasty, you're nice. 270 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,636 Nogsy. 271 00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,836 You miss me? 272 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:14,833 I was just thinking, "When's Inspector Norris coming back?" 273 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:17,912 Oi! Smart lip doesn't work with me, Nogsy. 274 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,319 I don't react well to it. 275 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,597 Now, you better start giving me something solid 276 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,955 or I'll feed you to the sharks. 277 00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,718 (Clearing throat) 278 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,597 You have... 279 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:36,591 beautiful eyes. 280 00:16:40,560 --> 00:16:45,190 You're going away, understand me? This is the end of the line. 281 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:50,593 Shall I phone Hong Kong Kitchen and get us all some crispy duck? 282 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,716 Sorry? Listen. 283 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:56,918 You better speak up or else we'll be talking to your missus. 284 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:59,389 How do you like that, family man? 285 00:16:59,480 --> 00:17:03,359 Hey. When this has blown over, let's go see Les Miserables. 286 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:07,720 Have you been to the zoo? It's brilliant. 287 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,075 What's, er... What's going on? 288 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:13,912 Carter. 289 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,913 Listen. I don't know what you're doing but it's working. 290 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,958 He's getting shaky. You take over. Offer him a deal. 291 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:26,952 - What sort of deal? - You call it. 292 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:30,999 Don't give away too much. He's looking at two years minimum. 293 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,878 - I'll be back in ten. - Huh? 294 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,958 - Ten minutes. - Oh. 295 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,397 Hey? Right. 296 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,710 I'm locking the door, Nogsy. 297 00:17:46,800 --> 00:17:50,839 It doesn't open again until you give my partner something! 298 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:08,795 Yeah, that's definitely locked. 299 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,436 - I'm not a policeman! - What? 300 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,193 I'm not, I've just had too much coffee! 301 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,350 What are you talking about? 302 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,510 - What'll I do? - I want Norris back. 303 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,592 I'll talk to him, I ain't talking to you! 304 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,159 Ahhhh! 305 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,276 - (Cork pops) - Ah! 306 00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:30,918 It's a boy! 307 00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,673 So, come on, back to the story. 308 00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:37,958 I knew I'd done something heinous so I went to see them. 309 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,508 (Doorbell) 310 00:18:40,600 --> 00:18:43,353 - What do you want? - To say I'm sorry. 311 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:45,874 - I'm very, very sorry. - Oh. Well. 312 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,598 Please accept my gifts. 313 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:50,478 Maybe then we could clear the deck somehow 314 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,915 and-and you could actually tell me 315 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,798 what it was that I actually... 316 00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:57,835 ...did. - (Phone) 317 00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,512 (Screams) 318 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,110 Bernard? Fran? 319 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,199 Well, you did it. 320 00:19:06,280 --> 00:19:09,158 I don't know how you did it, but you did it. 321 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,312 Well, you know, Barry, I'm just a cop. 322 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,197 Ooh. 323 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:20,156 Just one copper tryin' to make a difference. 324 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:21,389 Yeah. 325 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,758 Fell off a chair to some extent. 326 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:37,992 You know, Barry, I been doing this job for tw... 327 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:41,868 20 min... years, since I was... 15. 328 00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,679 And you know, it doesn't get any easier. 329 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:47,069 So that's why I've made my decision to retire. 330 00:19:47,160 --> 00:19:50,470 That's right, I'm retiring. Nogsy was my last case. 331 00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:54,314 I've had 100% success rate, I'm only getting older and slower. 332 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,836 It's time for this old warhorse to be put out to pasture. 333 00:19:57,920 --> 00:20:01,276 Well, that's a shame. I been on the job nearly 20 years too. 334 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:05,990 And you are the best bloody copper I have ever worked with. 335 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:09,755 - It's been a privilege. - OK, fair enough. 336 00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,478 - All right. - Yeah. 337 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,950 Oh, God. 338 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,597 (Bernard) Anyway. Where was I? 339 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,478 You went to Gerald and Sarah's to ask what you did. 340 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:25,394 - You mean you don't remember? - Not as such, no. 341 00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,313 You don't remember asking for about the 100th time 342 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:32,188 where the toilet was, drunk out of your skull? 343 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:36,512 You went to the toilet and you were gone an awful long time... 344 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,989 Get him out. Get him out. Get him out. 345 00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:40,911 - I will. - Out. Get him out now. 346 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,831 - I will. - Get him out. Out. 347 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:44,592 Gerald. 348 00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:46,750 - Could I ask you a question? - What? 349 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:49,991 You know the thing, the thing that cleans these things. 350 00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:53,550 - Why is that in your bathroom? - (Mouths) 351 00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:56,916 I'm not Coco Chanel but I think that's a bit weird. 352 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,958 Bernard, why don't I call you a cab? 353 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,838 I don't want a cab. It's only half one. 354 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:06,356 Anyway, listen. Why do you have a toaster in your bathroom? 355 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,590 We haven't got a toaster in our bathroom. 356 00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,638 Well, you should put a lock on the door anyway 357 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:15,508 because I was on the toilet, little Jimmy comes in, 358 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:19,309 he's drinking milk from the fridge and that's all wrong. 359 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,595 It's unhygienic. 360 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:25,920 And what was going through your brain 361 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,231 when you thought, "Oh, yeah, I'll buy a wicker toilet"? 362 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,039 (Sarah screams) 363 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,111 I thought I did something bad. 364 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,909 So I go to the toilet in your wicker chair, it's a faux pas. 365 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,274 Faux pas? 366 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:42,397 I thought I drank all the booze or something. 367 00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:46,314 - You did drink all the booze. - Look at Jimmy. 368 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:50,029 What? What? What? He looks surprised. 369 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:53,874 All children look surprised. Everything's new to them. 370 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,589 Have I told you, by the way, that he... he, er... 371 00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:58,999 he smokes? 372 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,277 - He does not smoke. - Well, he's up to something. 373 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:05,113 I've never said this because I was being nice. 374 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,952 But your son has the, er... 375 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:10,316 the cold, dead eyes of a killer. 376 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:15,198 I come to your house, I bring a bottle of wine... 377 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,113 - A policewoman. - Policewoman, bottle of wine, 378 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,952 the point is I made an effort. 379 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:23,077 And OK, I was slightly indiscreet. 380 00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,230 And I'm sorry! I am. 381 00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,915 But you... you blanked me. So... 382 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:34,070 - (Sarah) So what? - I think I deserve an apology. 383 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:35,479 (Both) Out. 384 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,869 I came all the way across town to apologise, 385 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:41,191 I don't even have the fare for a taxi back. 386 00:22:41,280 --> 00:22:45,637 I behaved with dignity, honour and grace. I'm a bit upset now. 387 00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:49,030 You wouldn't understand - I'm talking about dignity! 388 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,714 Hence... 389 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,995 So why were you embarrassed to tell me? 390 00:22:56,080 --> 00:23:00,198 Oh, well, I fell, you know. It was so... undashing. 391 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:02,748 And going to the toilet through a chair, 392 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,149 well, we've all been there. 393 00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:11,592 What happened to you? 394 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:14,399 Oh, I have had some day. 395 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,552 - What happened? - Well, it started off... 396 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,710 What happened to you? 397 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,236 Ooh! 398 00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:26,357 (High voice) That was a particularly bad one. 399 00:23:35,000 --> 00:24:04,000 Subtitles - Ripped (and Hacked) by RavyDavy - Part of the [RL] Crew 400 00:24:04,050 --> 00:24:08,600 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 29503

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