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1
00:00:05,701 --> 00:00:07,700
Everybody lies once in a while.
2
00:00:08,001 --> 00:00:11,200
Hey Joe. Those mutton chops -
totally working for you.
3
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,500
Hey. Aww, is that the tie
Rose picked out for you?
4
00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:16,400
No.
5
00:00:16,401 --> 00:00:19,100
Oh. It's nice.
6
00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:21,399
Or, maybe telling little lies
isn't so bad.
7
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,850
For example, I should have lied
and said Rose bought this tie.
8
00:00:25,550 --> 00:00:26,950
Once the black box is activated,
9
00:00:26,951 --> 00:00:29,500
it can detect any lie
told by anybody in the room
10
00:00:29,501 --> 00:00:33,200
It analyses speech sound waves and can
identify the distortion in our voices
11
00:00:33,201 --> 00:00:35,100
created by the stress of lying.
12
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:37,200
And it doesn't work at all!
13
00:00:37,401 --> 00:00:39,000
See, it does work.
14
00:00:39,001 --> 00:00:41,000
I never had any doubt.
15
00:00:41,001 --> 00:00:43,199
OK, I had a small doubt.
16
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,399
OK, every day I am incapacitated by fear.
17
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,050
I don't know where the magic
comes from and I'm terrified that
18
00:00:48,051 --> 00:00:49,900
one day I'll wake up and it will all be gone.
19
00:00:49,901 --> 00:00:53,250
And I'll end up alone, living in my
brother's basement with his trains.
20
00:00:54,500 --> 00:00:56,201
Buzz, damn you!
21
00:00:56,202 --> 00:00:58,899
Meanwhile, back at a place of business.
22
00:00:58,900 --> 00:01:00,001
Since we're marketing this
for the military
23
00:01:00,002 --> 00:01:02,600
we have given this project
our top level security clearance.
24
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,400
Currently, we're the only people
who know about it.
25
00:01:05,900 --> 00:01:07,200
Alright! I told my shrink.
26
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,699
He says it's because I want him
to think I'm important.
27
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:11,900
Let me try.
28
00:01:12,050 --> 00:01:14,250
Every spring, on a remote island,
29
00:01:14,251 --> 00:01:17,600
Sean Connery and I hunt the most
dangerous game: man.
30
00:01:18,900 --> 00:01:20,500
I've also poisoned one of you.
31
00:01:21,700 --> 00:01:25,800
And before this day is done, I'm going
to force two of you to make love.
32
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:30,399
Oh my god, I'm dying. I can't breathe.
33
00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:33,199
Good luck you two. Don't let
the intimacy hurt the friendship.
34
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:37,199
Relax, I'm lying. I'm able to will
myself to believe whatever I say.
35
00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,099
That's why your machine couldn't tell.
36
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:42,400
As Veronica has demonstrated with her
alarming mixture of sex and death,
37
00:01:42,401 --> 00:01:44,300
you two need to recalibrate this,
38
00:01:44,301 --> 00:01:46,800
so that even she can't fool it.
39
00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,899
Hey, it's my favourite people.
40
00:01:49,900 --> 00:01:53,099
- Chet, what can I do for you sir?
- Actually, I'm here to see Ted.
41
00:01:53,100 --> 00:01:56,899
Are you and your daughter still up for
miniature golf today with me and Olivia?
42
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,000
Looking forward to it, sir.
43
00:01:58,001 --> 00:02:00,200
Excellent. I've got my clubs
and I am going to beat you.
44
00:02:02,501 --> 00:02:04,201
Oh my, that didn't come out right.
45
00:02:04,202 --> 00:02:07,299
Don't worry, I've never hit anyone
with a golf club.
46
00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:09,000
At least not on purpose.
47
00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:10,899
Hey what's this fun machine?
48
00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:12,300
Just a random buzzer.
49
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:14,299
It's working!
50
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:17,600
I've got to get back upstairs
and put some more evil into the world.
51
00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:22,899
What did you think, you're elves
in the North Pole?
52
00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:25,100
You know where you work.
53
00:02:28,001 --> 00:02:30,899
So, you're jetting off for a glamorous
golf game with the boss.
54
00:02:30,900 --> 00:02:34,400
It's hardly glamorous.
On the final hole you have to putt the ball into the mouth of a rabbit,
55
00:02:34,401 --> 00:02:37,000
who for copyright reasons
is named Shmugs Shmunny.
56
00:02:37,001 --> 00:02:39,199
It's not fair. All you people
with your kids,
57
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,499
palling around after hours,
networking, advancing your careers.
58
00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:43,300
And I get left behind,
59
00:02:43,301 --> 00:02:46,599
just because I don't want to turn
my uterus into a human veal farm.
60
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,499
Well some call it the Miracle of Life,
but OK.
61
00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:52,800
Look, Chet's daughter Olivia and Rose
both go to the Veridian aftercare program
62
00:02:52,801 --> 00:02:56,399
and they've gotten to be friends.
Like 2 cutlets in a scaloppini.
63
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,001
So I figured it would be good to get
some face time with the boss.
64
00:02:59,002 --> 00:03:02,199
Just be careful, Ted. There's a reason
it's called the kid mafia.
65
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,299
Because you started calling it that?
66
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:06,100
Yes, and because one minute
you're flying high with Chet,
67
00:03:06,101 --> 00:03:08,800
and the next you're buried in the desert
with a bullet in your skull.
68
00:03:08,801 --> 00:03:10,699
Or whatever the kid equivalent is.
69
00:03:10,700 --> 00:03:12,900
Probably something with poo.
70
00:03:14,250 --> 00:03:17,700
This is my calm voice!
Do you want to hear my uncalm voice?
71
00:03:19,501 --> 00:03:20,301
Damn it!
72
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,399
Wow, Linda seems pretty upset.
73
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:25,399
- Yeah, someone should do something.
- Definitely.
74
00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:27,299
- You mean someone else, right?
- Ideally.
75
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:29,400
Well, we could.
We are her friends.
76
00:03:29,401 --> 00:03:32,899
Yeah, but does she consider us
close friends. Close enough to let us carry her burdens.
77
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:36,199
If we were walking along the beach,
would there be three sets of footprints or two, or none?
78
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:39,299
I consider you close enough
to hear everything you're saying.
79
00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:40,950
Hey Linda. How's it going?
80
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:45,049
My brother smashed up my car
and I need $5000 to get it fixed.
81
00:03:45,050 --> 00:03:46,800
The company said they wouldn't advance it to me,
82
00:03:46,801 --> 00:03:50,000
unless I agreed to carry a cloned orangutan to term.
83
00:03:50,001 --> 00:03:52,500
I wouldn't do it.
Orangutan arms are so long,
84
00:03:52,501 --> 00:03:54,699
they poke out way before
the rest of them.
85
00:03:54,700 --> 00:03:58,600
The last 2 weeks of the pregnancy, they'll
be picking up everything you drop.
86
00:03:58,650 --> 00:04:00,850
Thank you.
Finally I have a good reason
87
00:04:00,851 --> 00:04:03,501
not to be implanted with
an orangutan embryo.
88
00:04:03,502 --> 00:04:06,700
Hey, what if we loaned you the money?
89
00:04:06,701 --> 00:04:07,249
Yeah.
90
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:10,199
Oh, you guys are sweet. But I can't
borrow money from you.
91
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:14,151
Of course not. Only a really good friend
would feel comfortable enough to borrow money.
92
00:04:14,152 --> 00:04:17,951
We over-reached. We have been rightfully
shamed and we shall now take our leave.
93
00:04:17,952 --> 00:04:22,299
- Guys, you are my friends.
- Then prove it and take our money.
94
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:25,201
- Do it, Linda. Talk is cheap.
- All right. I'll take your money.
95
00:04:25,202 --> 00:04:27,400
Excellent. Then it's time
to lower the gangplank
96
00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:30,000
and welcome you
aboard the Friend ship.
97
00:04:30,100 --> 00:04:32,150
Please don't judge us for that.
98
00:04:36,450 --> 00:04:39,200
Look at that. I've never seen
Olivia so crazy for anyone
99
00:04:39,201 --> 00:04:43,200
as she is for your daughter. Kids,
there's just no rhyme or reason
100
00:04:43,201 --> 00:04:46,049
to some of the ridiculous things
they get attached to.
101
00:04:46,050 --> 00:04:47,499
Yeah. Wait, what?
102
00:04:47,500 --> 00:04:49,849
Olivia used to play with
Joe Mullen's daughter
103
00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:53,499
but that girl was relentlessly
competitive, and good at things.
104
00:04:53,500 --> 00:04:56,700
- Joe Mullen, wasn't he recently
transferred to Nigeria? - Yeah.
105
00:04:56,850 --> 00:04:59,300
I remember he was nervous
about all the kidnappings.
106
00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:02,899
- He described it as a ransom-based
economy. - Yeah.
107
00:05:02,900 --> 00:05:06,000
I'm sure he lives in constant fear.
108
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:08,199
- It's not fair.
- What's the matter, sweetheart?
109
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:11,899
Rose keeps winning. If I'm
so special, why aren't I winning?
110
00:05:11,900 --> 00:05:15,499
Maybe you're just not special at golf.
You're special at screaming really loud.
111
00:05:15,500 --> 00:05:18,599
Hey Olivia, don't worry about it.
There's still another hole left
112
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:22,350
and that is the only hole that matters.
Whoever wins that one, wins the whole game.
113
00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:27,199
- What are you talking about?
- Just go tee up.
114
00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:31,799
Nicely handled, Ted. Hey we have
the Galaxy Omega project coming up.
115
00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,699
I think it could benefit
from your people skills.
116
00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:36,899
Boy, I'd love to be part
of Galaxy Omega.
117
00:05:36,900 --> 00:05:38,899
It's going to change the way
we communicate with animals,
118
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:42,699
which up until now has been talking
to them, getting frustrated with them and then eating them.
119
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:45,050
Come by my office
and we'll talk about it.
120
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:47,689
Hit it.
121
00:05:47,699 --> 00:05:48,599
Honey,
122
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:52,250
Hey, I have a fun idea.
Why don't you let Olivia win.
123
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:54,800
There's nothing more fun than
losing on purpose.
124
00:05:54,801 --> 00:05:57,101
What's happened to you?
125
00:05:58,550 --> 00:06:02,749
Great, instead of working on the company's
most exciting project, I'll get canned.
126
00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:04,400
God forbid she loses
at miniature golf.
127
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,500
Olivia sank it in 2, Ted.
Heaven help us all.
128
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:19,199
I'm just thinking about Rose.
She would hate Nigeria.
129
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:21,600
You know what they say, it's not just
the heat, it's the driving around
130
00:06:21,601 --> 00:06:24,350
in the trunk of a car, not knowing
if you're going to live or die.
131
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:30,000
Where's my ball?
Where's my ball?
132
00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:34,101
- It flew into the bushes.
- Flew? Or was kicked?
133
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,200
OK, you know how I pretend
not to see
134
00:06:36,201 --> 00:06:37,999
when you hide your peas
under your mashed potatoes?
135
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,250
Can you just cut me
a little of that?
136
00:06:43,144 --> 00:06:44,743
Guys, I really appreciate this loan.
137
00:06:44,744 --> 00:06:47,494
Now I can get my car fixed and stop
commuting with Mutton-Chop Joe,
138
00:06:47,495 --> 00:06:50,993
who, big surprise, is the president
of the virginity club at his church.
139
00:06:50,994 --> 00:06:53,944
Hey, since we're such good friends,
how would you like to join us this weekend
140
00:06:53,945 --> 00:06:56,843
for a little adventure we call,
"Bowling and Nachos".
141
00:06:56,844 --> 00:06:58,693
We go bowling and we order nachos.
142
00:06:58,694 --> 00:07:00,144
My! That is an adventure.
143
00:07:00,145 --> 00:07:03,043
- But, we don't eat the nachos.
- No, we do not.
144
00:07:03,044 --> 00:07:05,444
We bring them back to the lab
and analyze the cheese sauce
145
00:07:05,445 --> 00:07:07,743
to determine how much of it
is actual cheese.
146
00:07:07,744 --> 00:07:10,243
If one of us bowls a higher score
than the percentage of cheese,
147
00:07:10,244 --> 00:07:11,944
then we get blasted.
148
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,793
I do like bowling and I love
getting blasted,
149
00:07:14,794 --> 00:07:17,543
but I can't. I have to work.
What's that?
150
00:07:17,544 --> 00:07:19,144
Just something we invented
that buzzes.
151
00:07:19,504 --> 00:07:23,043
Hey, we can't all be Thomas Edison.
But more about this work you have to do.
152
00:07:23,044 --> 00:07:24,464
Yeah, I've got this big report.
153
00:07:25,044 --> 00:07:25,944
That's due Monday.
154
00:07:26,444 --> 00:07:29,543
So I gotta work on it all weekend.
That thing's really annoying
155
00:07:29,544 --> 00:07:32,094
Well I'm certainly glad you're taking
our money, Linda.
156
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,294
God, I'm pathetic.
157
00:07:37,444 --> 00:07:40,244
I didn't feel good about sabotaging
my daughter at minigolf.
158
00:07:40,245 --> 00:07:43,945
I made it up to her. Although I'm not
super proud of how I did that either.
159
00:07:47,044 --> 00:07:50,244
Aren't these good root beer floats?
I'm sorry, honey.
160
00:07:50,245 --> 00:07:52,345
Please forgive me.
161
00:07:58,294 --> 00:08:01,744
- Daddy!
- Hey, sweetheart. Hi.
162
00:08:01,844 --> 00:08:05,043
- How's your day?
- A grind. I don't like Olivia anymore.
163
00:08:05,044 --> 00:08:07,343
And now she wants me to go
to her birthday.
164
00:08:07,344 --> 00:08:12,244
Well, you don't have to go. Unless
you change your mind. Because there's going to be cake.
165
00:08:12,324 --> 00:08:14,543
And on the way you can sit on my lap
and drive the car.
166
00:08:14,544 --> 00:08:15,944
And I'll let you cut Daddy's hair
167
00:08:15,994 --> 00:08:17,893
I'm going to go grab my lunchbox.
168
00:08:17,894 --> 00:08:20,054
When I come back, you try
not to be weird.
169
00:08:21,844 --> 00:08:26,943
Hello, Ted. Ooh, I like this place.
It makes me feel so tall and busty.
170
00:08:26,994 --> 00:08:29,743
Yeah, that's why I come.
So, what are you doing down here.
171
00:08:29,744 --> 00:08:31,144
I've joined the kid mafia.
172
00:08:31,145 --> 00:08:33,644
You're not the only ass-kissing
career whore.
173
00:08:34,394 --> 00:08:35,944
What are you looking at?
174
00:08:36,294 --> 00:08:39,543
I'm not going to let Chet go over my head
and give you the Galaxy Omega project,
175
00:08:39,544 --> 00:08:42,343
- just because you have a daughter.
- It really makes you crazy,
176
00:08:42,344 --> 00:08:44,443
that I might get something
that you can't have, doesn't it?
177
00:08:44,444 --> 00:08:46,844
Plus, you can't join the kid mafia
without a kid.
178
00:08:46,864 --> 00:08:50,144
I do have a kid. It's my niece.
We're very close.
179
00:08:50,145 --> 00:08:52,614
- Hello, Luthy!
- Hannah.
180
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:56,153
Everything's a fight with you.
So, did you play with Olivia today?
181
00:08:56,154 --> 00:08:58,994
A little bit. The girl I really like
is Rose.
182
00:08:58,995 --> 00:09:00,844
Rose? Rose gets us nothing.
183
00:09:00,864 --> 00:09:02,843
Teddy-o! Veronica.
184
00:09:02,844 --> 00:09:06,864
Sometimes, adding an "y-o" just makes
a name more fun.
185
00:09:06,874 --> 00:09:09,144
Although it doesn't work
with Veronica.
186
00:09:09,145 --> 00:09:13,045
- Might I suggest the Veronica-meister.
- We'll see.
187
00:09:13,294 --> 00:09:15,573
So Chet, my niece just joined this gym,
188
00:09:15,574 --> 00:09:18,744
and she's gotten very close to Olivia
and would love to get together with her.
189
00:09:18,784 --> 00:09:20,194
Maybe for lunch or drinks?
190
00:09:20,474 --> 00:09:24,043
Olivia is having a birthday this weekend.
Maybe she'd like to come to that.
191
00:09:24,044 --> 00:09:26,943
We'll be there. It'll be a perfect chance
for me to talk to you,
192
00:09:26,944 --> 00:09:29,343
about why I should be in charge
of the Galaxy Omega project.
193
00:09:29,344 --> 00:09:32,423
Rose and I'll be there too, sir.
Because Rose loves Olivia.
194
00:09:32,424 --> 00:09:34,944
So, I guess we'll both
be at your daughter's birthday.
195
00:09:34,945 --> 00:09:36,945
Where is she registered, sir?
196
00:09:39,294 --> 00:09:42,054
How do you convince an eight-year old girl
to go to a party she doesn't want to?
197
00:09:42,055 --> 00:09:45,283
I have no idea. So I
thought I'd asked someone
198
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:46,784
who used to be an eight-year old girl.
199
00:09:46,844 --> 00:09:50,829
Get her a beautiful sparky pink
party dress, and a princess tiara.
200
00:09:51,145 --> 00:09:53,643
If she doesn't want it, I have
an event coming up, I'd wear it too.
201
00:09:53,644 --> 00:09:55,543
Actually, getting Rose
a dress is a good idea.
202
00:09:55,544 --> 00:09:57,844
- Thanks Linda. You really are a girl.
- Yes I am.
203
00:09:57,864 --> 00:10:01,064
And it's not just the genitals.
It's a whole lifestyle.
204
00:10:06,944 --> 00:10:09,493
Ted, Ted. How much do you
know about your precious Linda?
205
00:10:09,494 --> 00:10:11,643
Specifically,
did you know she's a huge liar?
206
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:14,343
We thought we were friends but she made
up some story about having a work
207
00:10:14,344 --> 00:10:16,483
so she could avoid hanging out
with us this weekend.
208
00:10:16,484 --> 00:10:19,343
Our self-respect
demands a harsh response.
209
00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:22,343
We were thinking about bringing her
a coffee and a bagel every morning.
210
00:10:22,344 --> 00:10:26,044
Then, when she's grown accustomed to it,
we'll inexplicably stop.
211
00:10:26,094 --> 00:10:29,844
Guys, why don't you just talk to Linda?
Tell her your feelings are hurt and...
212
00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:33,943
Wait a second.You guys stopped bringing
me a bagel and coffee two weeks ago.
213
00:10:33,944 --> 00:10:35,644
You know what you did.
214
00:10:37,224 --> 00:10:41,083
Maybe Ted's right. Maybe we should talk
to Linda, that is what friends do.
215
00:10:41,084 --> 00:10:43,743
- It's hard being friends with girls.
- It's hard being friends with guys.
216
00:10:43,744 --> 00:10:46,144
I wish there was a third gender.
Something with boobs
217
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:48,683
that was incapable of judgment.
218
00:10:48,684 --> 00:10:52,493
So,I just wanna go over the plans for saturday.
Everybody should try to get to my place by 8.
219
00:10:52,494 --> 00:10:55,443
And be prepared to stay late.
This thing could get kinda crazy.
220
00:10:55,444 --> 00:11:00,044
Oh, yeah. Beer, hard licker,
everything. Even strippers.
221
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:05,174
She's having a party. That's
why she's not hanging out with us.
222
00:11:05,184 --> 00:11:08,443
And they are going to wear slippers.
Those things are so comfortable.
223
00:11:08,444 --> 00:11:10,943
And she didn't invite us?
What kind of a friend does that?
224
00:11:10,944 --> 00:11:13,544
Let's get her a bagel
and some coffee. It's the time,
225
00:11:13,545 --> 00:11:17,544
to start laying the ground work for pain,
in three to six weeks she's not going to know
226
00:11:17,545 --> 00:11:19,044
what hit her.
227
00:11:19,794 --> 00:11:21,944
I don't know if I can wait that long.
228
00:11:21,994 --> 00:11:23,924
We need an another plan.
Something with more bite
229
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:27,044
that doesn't take weeks and weeks
and often goes unnoticed.
230
00:11:32,944 --> 00:11:37,083
- Hi, Ted. Where is Rose?
- She is around here somewhere.
231
00:11:37,084 --> 00:11:40,523
Oh, really? Because I saw you both get
out of the car and it was just you.
232
00:11:40,524 --> 00:11:43,704
Did you drive seperately? Did you
shrink her and put her in your pocket?
233
00:11:43,714 --> 00:11:45,694
Okay, I couldn't get Rose to come.
I figured
234
00:11:45,695 --> 00:11:47,294
since there'd a million kids here,
I could bring a present,
235
00:11:47,295 --> 00:11:49,643
carry her sweater and nobody
would know the difference.
236
00:11:49,644 --> 00:11:53,643
Oh, Ted. I can't believe what you
are doing to get Galaxy Omega project.
237
00:11:53,644 --> 00:11:55,844
It's all so sad and desperate.
238
00:11:56,184 --> 00:11:58,644
- Can I have some more tokens?
- Of course, Hannah.
239
00:11:59,274 --> 00:12:02,843
- What? That's my niece's name,isn't it?
- Yes, but that's not your niece.
240
00:12:02,844 --> 00:12:03,594
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
241
00:12:03,595 --> 00:12:04,564
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
242
00:12:04,565 --> 00:12:05,504
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
243
00:12:05,505 --> 00:12:06,444
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
244
00:12:06,445 --> 00:12:07,274
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
245
00:12:07,275 --> 00:12:09,004
- Yes, it is.
- We could do this all night.
246
00:12:09,005 --> 00:12:09,844
Yes, it is.
247
00:12:09,904 --> 00:12:12,643
Sweetheart, what's your name?
You want me to call somebody?
248
00:12:12,644 --> 00:12:15,893
Alright, I borrowed my neighbour's kid.
Here's some more tokens.
249
00:12:15,894 --> 00:12:17,924
Go be nice to the birthday girl.
250
00:12:18,784 --> 00:12:20,774
My sister pulled the plug on Hannah
when she found out
251
00:12:20,775 --> 00:12:22,595
that I was using her for my career.
252
00:12:22,596 --> 00:12:24,943
She thought I developed a genuine
interest in the child.
253
00:12:24,944 --> 00:12:28,263
What really hurts on all this is
that how little my own sister knows me.
254
00:12:28,264 --> 00:12:31,643
And you called me desperate. Veronica,
you are never gonna pull this off.
255
00:12:31,644 --> 00:12:35,794
That girl is at least 2 years older.
She's taller,her eyes are different colour
256
00:12:36,224 --> 00:12:39,544
- She's a different human being.
- You're just freakishly observant.
257
00:12:39,874 --> 00:12:44,393
Unless it's a big take it item, like
race, or not being a sweater, no-one's gonna notice.
258
00:12:44,394 --> 00:12:49,244
Veronica, there's something odd about
your niece. She doesn't look quite right
259
00:12:51,844 --> 00:12:56,944
Hey-o, you see that? I put a hat on
her face. Hats don't belong there.
260
00:12:57,394 --> 00:12:59,444
Inspring lunatism.
261
00:12:59,474 --> 00:13:02,844
I'm glad you both made it.
That wiesel Bob Simmons said
262
00:13:02,845 --> 00:13:05,743
he and his daughter we're coming
and they didn't even show up.
263
00:13:05,745 --> 00:13:08,894
- What kind of a man does that?
- A villain, sir.
264
00:13:08,984 --> 00:13:11,174
He should be forced to carry
an orang-utan.
265
00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:14,893
Where's Rose? Olivia's been asking
for her since we got here.
266
00:13:14,894 --> 00:13:19,844
Rose is, buried in the ball pit.
You saw her, didn't you?
267
00:13:19,845 --> 00:13:23,923
- You and your real niece.
- Yes, we did.
268
00:13:24,964 --> 00:13:25,990
For now.
269
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,983
Good. So, my daughter is here,
Veronica's real niece is here.
270
00:13:28,984 --> 00:13:31,044
Everything is as it should be.
271
00:13:36,984 --> 00:13:39,424
Lying, it's always wrong.
272
00:13:39,684 --> 00:13:43,943
But sometimes companies have to say
things that aren't 100% true.
273
00:13:43,944 --> 00:13:48,744
Is that wrong? No.
When companies aren't truthful,
274
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:53,414
it's not because we are bad. It's
because we understand things you don't.
275
00:13:55,474 --> 00:14:00,044
People lie. Companies protect their
interest. It's different.
276
00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:09,643
This is it. This is where Linda and her
beautiful friends are having a party.
277
00:14:09,644 --> 00:14:14,494
A party which we shall destroy with
our uncomfortable, silent anger.
278
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:17,494
- Now, what's the plan?
- Get drunk, done.
279
00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:20,494
Walk 10 miles from bar to Linda's
place, done.
280
00:14:20,495 --> 00:14:22,444
Get chased by a homeless guy
with a stick
281
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:24,244
which we didn't plan, but done.
282
00:14:24,344 --> 00:14:28,194
Keep down the tequila which is
coming back on me, done.
283
00:14:28,484 --> 00:14:31,844
Mom, dad, Father Todd. I'm grateful
that we could all be here tonight
284
00:14:31,845 --> 00:14:33,994
to save my beautiful brother Justin.
285
00:14:34,024 --> 00:14:37,070
Justin, your drinking has affected
me in the following ways...
286
00:14:37,071 --> 00:14:39,344
Yazoo, bitches!
287
00:14:39,345 --> 00:14:42,145
You're busted, our little liar
friend, you're not at work,
288
00:14:42,344 --> 00:14:45,404
- you're having a party.
- This is so not a party.
289
00:14:45,405 --> 00:14:49,544
Oh, come on. Peanuts, people crying,
a priest. That's a party, baby.
290
00:14:49,545 --> 00:14:52,944
Yeah, stripper priest.
Take it off, father sexy.
291
00:14:53,244 --> 00:14:56,644
You idiots.
We're having an intervention.
292
00:15:00,444 --> 00:15:03,224
Next time you talk to god, could
you not mention this?
293
00:15:03,594 --> 00:15:08,094
Here, we're done drinking tonight.
Just keep it away from the alcoholics.
294
00:15:16,044 --> 00:15:20,244
Working on Galaxy Omega would be so exciting.
Being able to communicate with animals.
295
00:15:20,444 --> 00:15:23,486
I've always wanted to tell a giraffe
how stupid it looks.
296
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:27,244
I've always wanted to ask a baboon
why they are called baboons.
297
00:15:27,245 --> 00:15:29,344
It's such a ridiculous name.
298
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,744
Baboon.
299
00:15:30,814 --> 00:15:33,712
And there might be other aplications
beyond insulting animals.
300
00:15:33,714 --> 00:15:35,145
Like, learning about the enviroment.
301
00:15:35,394 --> 00:15:37,363
Don't we have enough humans complaining
about that?
302
00:15:37,364 --> 00:15:41,195
Now I have to listen some hippie bear
whining that I'm eating all his salmon.
303
00:15:41,196 --> 00:15:44,643
I can't find Rose. I looked everywhere.
Nobody's seen her.
304
00:15:44,644 --> 00:15:47,714
- I'm sure she's somewhere.
- Maybe she's been murdered.
305
00:15:47,724 --> 00:15:50,194
Oh my God. She hasn't been murdered.
Stop that.
306
00:15:50,204 --> 00:15:52,214
I'm sure she
hasn't been murdered, honey.
307
00:15:52,224 --> 00:15:54,343
Your father's right.
Rose has not been murdered.
308
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:57,144
Can we stop talking about my daughter
being or not being murdered?
309
00:15:57,145 --> 00:16:00,144
All this talk about murdering Rose
has got me spooked.
310
00:16:00,145 --> 00:16:02,353
And you don't even know where she is.
I'm calling security.
311
00:16:02,354 --> 00:16:04,043
No, no don't do that.
312
00:16:04,044 --> 00:16:07,644
What kind of a father are you?
She is missing, Ted.
313
00:16:08,145 --> 00:16:12,994
You, you, I need an another dietcola.
And this one's daughter is missing.
314
00:16:12,995 --> 00:16:14,544
- We think she's been murdered.
- What?
315
00:16:14,545 --> 00:16:16,163
We do not think that.
316
00:16:16,164 --> 00:16:20,063
Attention. We have a missing child.
Repeat: There is a child missing.
317
00:16:20,064 --> 00:16:23,344
Parents, locate your
children immediately.
318
00:16:24,324 --> 00:16:25,644
Oh, boy.
319
00:16:27,264 --> 00:16:29,183
I'm an off-duty police officer.
Can I help?
320
00:16:29,184 --> 00:16:30,594
- Rose has been murdered.
- What?
321
00:16:30,644 --> 00:16:32,194
No, nobody's been murdered.
322
00:16:32,394 --> 00:16:35,054
Okay, I didn't bring her. I lied.
323
00:16:36,944 --> 00:16:39,994
Rose didn't wanna come. For some
reason she doesn't like Olivia.
324
00:16:41,344 --> 00:16:44,993
Ted, how could you do this?
Lying to me and Chet like that?
325
00:16:44,994 --> 00:16:47,103
Oh, give me a break. That's
not even your niece.
326
00:16:47,104 --> 00:16:50,744
What? Hannah, how could you do this?
Lying to me and chet like that?
327
00:16:57,444 --> 00:17:00,244
The next day, things were little
tense between me and Veronica.
328
00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:04,443
So, we re-calibrated the lie detector so
not even Veronica will be able to fool it.
329
00:17:04,444 --> 00:17:06,844
Or any sociopath.
330
00:17:07,154 --> 00:17:09,094
Not that I think you're a sociopath.
331
00:17:09,295 --> 00:17:10,844
Shut up.
332
00:17:10,944 --> 00:17:14,784
Well, let's try it. Because Ted sold
me out to Chet, I'm missing out on
333
00:17:14,785 --> 00:17:17,944
Veridian's most exciting project since
that pill that makes people shop.
334
00:17:18,154 --> 00:17:19,344
And I'm fine with that.
335
00:17:20,144 --> 00:17:22,414
And I'm glad that last night, at the first
sight of trouble with Chet, Veronica
336
00:17:22,415 --> 00:17:25,144
kicked me in the testicles.
337
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,244
It's weird when beautiful people fight.
338
00:17:27,384 --> 00:17:29,643
It's like watching the Hope Diamond yell
at the sunset.
339
00:17:29,644 --> 00:17:32,184
I've realized recently, I don't
mind anger as much
340
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,920
when it's not directed at me.
341
00:17:33,944 --> 00:17:39,394
Yazoo, Bitches. Oh, I'm sorry, am I bursting
in on something I wasn't invited to?
342
00:17:39,395 --> 00:17:42,944
Upsetting people, giving
liquor to my alcoholic brother,
343
00:17:42,984 --> 00:17:46,994
making my mother cry so hard that
she threw up on father sexy?
344
00:17:47,014 --> 00:17:49,144
We apologized for that last night.
345
00:17:49,145 --> 00:17:51,944
Perhaps you didn't hear us
because we were running away
346
00:17:51,945 --> 00:17:52,844
as fast as we could.
347
00:17:53,514 --> 00:17:55,943
Going to a party, where you don't belong?
Why does that sound familiar?
348
00:17:55,944 --> 00:17:59,443
Because that's what you did, when you
showed up to child party without a child.
349
00:17:59,444 --> 00:18:01,594
You know what the problem is, Veronica?
You can't stand
350
00:18:01,595 --> 00:18:03,594
that I might get a big project that
you are not a part of.
351
00:18:03,784 --> 00:18:06,694
- So you wanna horn in on it.
- That's not true.
352
00:18:07,344 --> 00:18:10,214
And you guys can't stand that I
have an alcoholic brother.
353
00:18:10,224 --> 00:18:11,401
No, that can't be right.
354
00:18:11,402 --> 00:18:14,443
Why did you guys crash my
brother's intervention anyway?
355
00:18:14,444 --> 00:18:16,644
We thought you were having
a party and didn't invite us
356
00:18:16,645 --> 00:18:18,343
even though you said we were friends.
357
00:18:18,344 --> 00:18:20,844
We were friends. Although
after what you did last night, I
358
00:18:20,845 --> 00:18:22,644
don't know if I wanna be friends
with you anymore.
359
00:18:24,744 --> 00:18:27,543
She still wants to be our friend.
Even after all we did.
360
00:18:27,544 --> 00:18:31,844
That's a real friendship. Because
what we did was apalling.
361
00:18:33,044 --> 00:18:34,144
Come here.
362
00:18:34,145 --> 00:18:36,393
Thanks to you, my whole
family is mad at me.
363
00:18:36,394 --> 00:18:39,244
The last thing I need right now
is a hug from you guys.
364
00:18:41,045 --> 00:18:42,145
Let's go hug her.
365
00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:46,244
Okay. It's just you, me,
and the machine.
366
00:18:46,504 --> 00:18:50,244
So admit it. You don't want me to move
up and have success in this company.
367
00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:52,844
Of course I want that for you.
368
00:18:54,624 --> 00:18:57,145
Well, this makes it harder to advance
my argument.
369
00:18:57,146 --> 00:18:58,746
It's the truth, Ted.
370
00:18:59,024 --> 00:19:01,594
It's just, if you join the kid mafia
371
00:19:01,595 --> 00:19:04,094
pretty soon you're gonna be hanging out
with them all the time.
372
00:19:04,095 --> 00:19:09,142
and when I need you, you're not gonna
be around and.. well, you know...
373
00:19:10,594 --> 00:19:12,744
- You'd miss me?
- No!
374
00:19:15,674 --> 00:19:18,844
- And that's as much as you're gonna get.
- Well, I'll take it.
375
00:19:19,164 --> 00:19:22,145
And whatever happens, I will always
not be there for you.
376
00:19:22,544 --> 00:19:25,643
Because our friendship
means nothing to me.
377
00:19:25,844 --> 00:19:28,000
And that's as much as you're gonna get.
378
00:19:28,644 --> 00:19:34,109
Hey-o. Guess who's covered in tiny
8-year old fist sized bruises?
379
00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:35,843
This guy!
380
00:19:35,844 --> 00:19:38,994
So I've decided you both need a little more punishment.
381
00:19:42,084 --> 00:19:43,744
Well, at least Chet didn't send
us off to Nigeria.
382
00:19:43,745 --> 00:19:46,774
Don't talk. When you exhale,
I can feel it in my face.
383
00:19:46,775 --> 00:19:49,124
You're just mad because I sneezed in
your mouth a minute ago.
384
00:19:50,145 --> 00:19:52,444
Isn't it nice you don't
have to miss me?
385
00:19:59,145 --> 00:20:01,544
This cheese sauce is only 42% cheese.
386
00:20:01,545 --> 00:20:05,524
And since you voted 62, according to the
American rules of "Bowling & Nachos",
387
00:20:05,824 --> 00:20:07,343
we all get to drink.
388
00:20:07,344 --> 00:20:08,944
But first we dance.
389
00:20:08,945 --> 00:20:10,144
Everybody in da House
390
00:20:10,145 --> 00:20:11,344
Everybody in da House
if you're ready to party
391
00:20:11,345 --> 00:20:12,364
Everybody in da House
if you're ready to party let me hear you say.
392
00:20:12,414 --> 00:20:16,964
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