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1
00:00:01,367 --> 00:00:03,367
( blues theme playing )
2
00:00:22,021 --> 00:00:25,190
Just when I thought TV
couldn't get any dumber.
3
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:28,026
I saw this show last night,
I didn't catch the name,
4
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,862
but they ought to just
call it Antique CrapFest.
5
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:33,298
You know, this--
This yokel brings in
6
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,933
this battered old spittoon,
7
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,969
and some genius tells him
how much it's worth.
8
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:40,539
That's it.
That's the whole show.
9
00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,608
I can hardly wait
for High Definition TV
10
00:00:43,610 --> 00:00:47,279
so I can see that
with a sharper picture.
11
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,880
You're early, Becker,
12
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,615
totally depriving me
of the chance of saying:
13
00:00:50,617 --> 00:00:55,387
"Oh, God,
he'll be here any minute."
14
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:59,156
You--? You do that?
15
00:00:59,158 --> 00:01:02,094
What are you, new?
16
00:01:02,096 --> 00:01:04,295
Why so early?
17
00:01:04,297 --> 00:01:06,665
No traffic.
Caught every light.
18
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:09,401
Found a parking spot
right out front.
19
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:13,003
Sounds like your lucky day.
No, Reg, no such thing.
20
00:01:13,005 --> 00:01:15,840
It's just a "good-traffic,
good-parking day." That's all.
21
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:17,242
REG:
What's your problem?
22
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:19,077
Would a lucky day destroy
your view of life
23
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,745
as a bleak and punishing hell?
24
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:21,979
Oh, it took you a while,
Reg,
25
00:01:21,981 --> 00:01:25,050
but you finally
figured him out.
26
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:27,886
I'm taking a paper here, Jake.
Okay.
27
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:30,288
Oh, hell.
What's wrong?
28
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:32,557
I lost my wallet.
29
00:01:32,559 --> 00:01:36,594
Well, the-- There's your lucky
day for you. Ah, shoot.
30
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:40,064
You know, not only was
it perfectly molded to my butt,
31
00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,366
but I gotta-- I gotta go get
32
00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:45,136
new credit cards,
driver's license...
33
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,906
And, oh, you know that little
card you get from the car wash?
34
00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:50,475
You get one free
with every ten you have?
35
00:01:50,477 --> 00:01:53,011
I was up to eight.
36
00:01:53,013 --> 00:01:56,715
I've seen your car. What's that?
Four years down the drain?
37
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,851
( chuckling )
Yeah, very nice, very nice.
38
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:02,186
Well, as long as I'm
already suffering,
39
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:05,490
I might as well
let you cook me breakfast.
40
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:06,925
What is all this stuff?
41
00:02:06,927 --> 00:02:08,459
I'm doing something
I've been putting off.
42
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,129
I'm cleaning this place
from top to bottom.
43
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,265
You seem awfully cheerful
about it.
44
00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:15,199
Yeah, I guess I am.
45
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,001
Maybe it's that sense
of renewal,
46
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:20,438
or maybe it's that feeling
of personal accomplishment.
47
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,873
Or maybe it's 'cause
if you don't do it,
48
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:24,008
the Board of Health
will come in and make you.
49
00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:28,679
Excuse me.
I found this wallet outside.
50
00:02:28,681 --> 00:02:30,515
Any chance
there's a John Becker in here?
51
00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:31,516
Yeah.
whoa, whoa, whoa.
52
00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:34,319
Sit down, sit down.
53
00:02:34,321 --> 00:02:36,721
Yeah, I-- I'm John Becker.
Thank you very much.
54
00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:39,891
H-hold on, pal,
get back here.
55
00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:43,461
Well, the money's all here.
What are you, an idiot?
56
00:02:43,463 --> 00:02:45,229
Oh, here, no,
I'm sorry.
57
00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:47,565
No,
I'm just doing the right thing.
58
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:51,536
Maybe you'll return
the favor one day.
59
00:02:51,538 --> 00:02:53,671
Gee, Becker,
this is your lucky day.
60
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,441
You lost your wallet on
the street and you got it back.
61
00:02:56,443 --> 00:02:58,009
Yeah, I lost my wallet
at my parents' house
62
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,678
and didn't get it back.
63
00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,245
( blues theme playing )
64
00:03:05,017 --> 00:03:06,918
( blues theme playing )
65
00:03:08,955 --> 00:03:12,089
( ringing )
66
00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:14,358
Doctor's office.
67
00:03:15,594 --> 00:03:18,095
What do you want, Louis?
68
00:03:18,097 --> 00:03:20,097
No, I didn't get any flowers.
69
00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:22,967
And if you think sending
your wife some thorny roses
70
00:03:22,969 --> 00:03:24,435
is gonna make up
for what you did,
71
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:27,271
then you can just
forget it.
72
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:29,574
Problem?
I don't wanna talk about it.
73
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,910
But, Margaret,
I'm a very good listener.
74
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,178
In high school,
everyone used to come to me
75
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:35,145
with their problems.
76
00:03:35,147 --> 00:03:36,981
Even the vice principal
used to call me
77
00:03:36,983 --> 00:03:38,449
into his office just to talk.
78
00:03:38,451 --> 00:03:41,952
He even called me at home.
79
00:03:41,954 --> 00:03:44,356
Linda, he was hitting on you.
80
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,858
I know and we talked about that.
81
00:03:47,993 --> 00:03:51,630
Linda.
Fine. Keep your pain inside.
82
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,832
But I believe it was
Cole Porter who said:
83
00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:56,000
"If you need me, call me,
84
00:03:56,002 --> 00:03:58,136
"'cause there ain't
no mountain high enough
85
00:03:58,138 --> 00:04:00,004
to keep me from you."
86
00:04:00,973 --> 00:04:03,808
I believe it was Diana Ross.
87
00:04:03,810 --> 00:04:06,277
It's always about you
being right, isn't it?
88
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:10,615
No wonder your marriage
is falling apart.
89
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:14,619
Morning.
Oh, you're in early.
90
00:04:14,621 --> 00:04:15,519
Yeah, there was no traffic
91
00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:18,390
and I got a parking spot
right out front.
92
00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:21,092
What's up?
X-ray machine's broken again.
93
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,527
Uh.
But I called the company
94
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:23,995
and they're sending
someone over.
95
00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:27,632
And your favorite patient
is in Room 1.
96
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,234
Ehrlich? Oh, man.
97
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:32,737
There-- There goes my lucky day.
You know, I hate this guy.
98
00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,373
He is without doubt
the neediest, whiniest,
99
00:04:35,375 --> 00:04:36,841
most boring patient I have.
100
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:38,242
Every week he comes in here,
101
00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,611
and he monopolizes my time
with stupid questions.
102
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:43,681
Why is it that the good patients
always die,
103
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:46,918
a-and the pains in the asses
go on and on?
104
00:04:49,387 --> 00:04:52,289
Yeah. Why is that?
105
00:04:58,431 --> 00:05:01,933
Mr. Ehrlich,
how are you doing today?
106
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,567
Well, you know.
107
00:05:03,569 --> 00:05:06,137
Not good. Not bad.
108
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:09,607
Not great. But not horrible.
109
00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,877
Thanks for asking.
110
00:05:12,879 --> 00:05:15,046
I have to. It's my job.
111
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:16,547
All right, Mr. Ehrlich,
112
00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:19,317
let me just get
comfortable here.
113
00:05:20,786 --> 00:05:24,756
Okay, I'm ready.
What's going on with you today?
114
00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:27,358
My company's transferred me
to Florida,
115
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:30,327
and I just
stopped in to say goodbye.
116
00:05:32,731 --> 00:05:34,666
Excuse me?
117
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,934
Unless, medically,
118
00:05:35,936 --> 00:05:37,902
you think there's some reason
I shouldn't go.
119
00:05:37,904 --> 00:05:38,970
No. God, no.
120
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:42,873
I mean, congratulations.
121
00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:44,409
I tell you what,
Mr. Ehrlich.
122
00:05:44,411 --> 00:05:46,077
We'll get your records
all together,
123
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:48,646
and then we'll forward them to
you down in Florida, all right?
124
00:05:48,648 --> 00:05:50,148
Good luck. Goodbye.
125
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:52,083
Next time you're in Florida
you'll look me up?
126
00:05:52,085 --> 00:05:53,651
Sure thing.
127
00:05:56,388 --> 00:06:00,091
Oh, look at those
lovely flowers. They're for you.
128
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:02,093
Thank you.
129
00:06:06,165 --> 00:06:08,632
Don't touch those.
130
00:06:08,634 --> 00:06:10,734
Margaret,
it's okay.
131
00:06:10,736 --> 00:06:13,171
And I'm here for you.
132
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:16,307
Once again, I think it was
Cole Porter said it best.
133
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:17,876
"People who need people
are the--"
134
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:20,611
Shut up, Linda.
135
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,112
Okay.
136
00:06:22,114 --> 00:06:24,315
( blues theme playing )
137
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:25,883
( knocking )
Yeah?
138
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,919
John,
I forgot to tell you
139
00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:30,454
there's a registered letter
for you at the post office.
140
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:32,489
The mailman brought it before
you got in.
141
00:06:32,491 --> 00:06:35,360
Why didn't he just leave it?
You have to sign for it.
142
00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:37,896
Oh, man. Now I have to go
to the post office?
143
00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,364
Oh, that's payback for you.
144
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,900
Excuse me?
Payback. It's how it works.
145
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,769
Something good happens and
something bad happens in return.
146
00:06:44,771 --> 00:06:47,505
Ehrlich leaves, now I have to go
to the post office.
147
00:06:47,507 --> 00:06:48,873
I hate that place.
148
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,841
The long lines,
the incompetence.
149
00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:52,143
It's the worst place on Earth.
150
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,579
You can almost smell
the despair.
151
00:06:56,782 --> 00:06:58,650
Could you go for me?
152
00:06:58,652 --> 00:07:01,719
I told you,
you have to sign for it.
153
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:03,187
Well,
you know how to forge my name.
154
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,823
You've done it a thousand times.
155
00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:07,592
John, it's a federal offence.
They could throw me in jail.
156
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,994
I promise, your job will be
waiting for you
157
00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:11,429
when you get out.
158
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,597
Come on.
159
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,299
John,
I don't think I can pull it off.
160
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:17,635
Our uncanny physical resemblance
notwithstanding.
161
00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:20,471
Besides,
and this may ring a bell,
162
00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:24,241
you have to sign for it!
163
00:07:24,243 --> 00:07:26,176
( blues theme playing )
164
00:07:44,529 --> 00:07:46,631
What am I, an idiot?
165
00:07:57,142 --> 00:08:00,478
Uh, my name's Becker. I've got
this little thingy here.
166
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,513
Sorry, I'm on my break.
167
00:08:04,683 --> 00:08:06,384
Oh, yeah, that figures.
168
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:07,818
As soon as I get
up to the front win--
169
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,153
Hi.
170
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,923
May I help you?
171
00:08:11,925 --> 00:08:14,826
You work here?
Sure do.
172
00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:19,797
Well, uh,
it's for a registered letter.
173
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:21,432
Of course I know
what happens now.
174
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,601
You're gonna tell me
somehow you misplaced it,
175
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:24,735
so you'll have to go in the back
176
00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,170
and look around for hours,
right?
177
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,573
Uh, no, it's right here.
178
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:32,409
Just sign right there.
179
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:36,214
Are you guys under new
management or something?
180
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:39,082
You should relax, Dr. Becker.
You're very tense.
181
00:08:39,084 --> 00:08:40,517
Yeah, look who's talking.
182
00:08:40,519 --> 00:08:44,622
Nobody ever said
the guy went medical on me.
183
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:48,025
There you go. Here's your letter
and a change of address card.
184
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:51,763
Thank you. Oh, actually,
uh, yeah, I haven't moved.
185
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,565
I have.
186
00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:56,234
Oh.
187
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:59,737
It's better here.
188
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:02,640
You know, I think that, uh,
that extra penny for stamps
189
00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:04,575
is really working out.
190
00:09:04,577 --> 00:09:06,511
( blues theme playing )
191
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:12,750
Okay, you guys were going on
192
00:09:12,752 --> 00:09:15,687
about my lucky day this morning.
Well, check this out.
193
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:19,090
It's a letter from the IRS.
Anyone wanna call me crazy now?
194
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:21,658
I will.
Yeah, well, you'd be wrong.
195
00:09:21,660 --> 00:09:23,160
I tell you something.
This is gonna be
196
00:09:23,162 --> 00:09:25,730
one of the worst days
of my life.
197
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:28,966
What the hell
are you talking about, Becker?
198
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,535
All right, uh, Reg,
199
00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:33,771
ima-- Imagine a-a big
rubber band.
200
00:09:33,773 --> 00:09:35,840
Oh,
the rubber band thing.
201
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:38,976
Wait till you hear
what a crock this is.
202
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:42,647
Jake, you have a customer.
Hang on, I'll be right there.
203
00:09:42,649 --> 00:09:45,216
Jake,
there's no one there.
204
00:09:48,153 --> 00:09:52,056
John, why don't you just stick
your leg out and trip me?
205
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:55,093
This seemed
so much more artful.
206
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,760
Anyway, see,
207
00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:58,696
with every so-called
lucky thing,
208
00:09:58,698 --> 00:10:01,699
the rubber band gets stretched
a little bit more.
209
00:10:01,701 --> 00:10:04,869
No traffic,
good parking space,
210
00:10:04,871 --> 00:10:07,071
my wallet was returned,
211
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:09,607
my worst patient left town,
212
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:12,610
the best experience in the post
office I've ever had.
213
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,479
That anyone's ever had.
214
00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:16,247
And then:
215
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,982
Thwack!
216
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,084
A letter from the IRS.
217
00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:22,520
I'm not making this stuff up,
you know.
218
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:24,221
It's been happening
throughout history.
219
00:10:24,223 --> 00:10:27,024
Yeah, beautiful cruise ship,
iceberg.
220
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:29,527
Cinderella finally
meets the prince,
221
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,128
she loses her slipper.
222
00:10:31,130 --> 00:10:33,397
Wait, wait, wait. Didn't
the prince use it to find her,
223
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:34,932
and then they lived
happily ever after?
224
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:37,067
Oh, come on, please. That's just
the candy-ass version
225
00:10:37,069 --> 00:10:38,936
they give to the kids.
226
00:10:40,271 --> 00:10:41,873
What really happened is
227
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,541
Cinderella goes back
to live with her stepmother,
228
00:10:44,543 --> 00:10:47,044
who forces her
into a life of prostitution,
229
00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:50,014
working the not-so-enchanted
streets
230
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:52,650
around the castle.
231
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,586
Becker, you have a totally bent
way of looking at things.
232
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:58,088
Is that right?
How do you look at things, Reg?
233
00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,557
Like a normal person.
234
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,826
Good things happen,
bad things happen.
235
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:03,561
Is that right?
How do you explain this?
236
00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,429
You think the IRS
is writing to tell me
237
00:11:05,431 --> 00:11:07,165
that I'm Taxpayer
of the Year?
238
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:09,467
You know what?
Here. Here it is.
239
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,568
I'll prove it to you
right here.
240
00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:13,503
Look at this.
241
00:11:14,772 --> 00:11:16,140
Oh, boy.
242
00:11:16,142 --> 00:11:17,742
What? What is it?
243
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:22,246
I just got
a $700 tax refund.
244
00:11:24,116 --> 00:11:27,819
Don't move.
Reg, you got a paper back there?
245
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,520
Okay, open it up
to the sports section.
246
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,122
Now, I don't care
what you think, John.
247
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,991
You are having a lucky day
and I want in on it.
248
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:35,826
Okay, give it to him.
249
00:11:35,828 --> 00:11:38,262
Come on, John,
pick me a horse.
250
00:11:38,264 --> 00:11:40,064
I-I don't wanna--
Come on, John.
251
00:11:40,066 --> 00:11:42,699
You're like a big
white rabbit's foot.
252
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:45,002
Look, look,
just point to one, okay?
253
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:46,904
There's gotta be a horse
that's perfect for you.
254
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:50,641
Lucky John, Doctor's Joy.
Fine, there.
255
00:11:50,643 --> 00:11:52,276
"Royal Pain."
256
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:55,513
Close enough. See you.
257
00:11:55,515 --> 00:11:58,515
Jake, you have a customer.
Yeah, right.
258
00:11:58,517 --> 00:12:01,452
Take whatever you want.
Everything's free today.
259
00:12:01,454 --> 00:12:03,253
( blues theme playing )
260
00:12:10,395 --> 00:12:12,330
( blues theme playing )
261
00:12:14,466 --> 00:12:17,134
Okay, just leave us a urine
sample and you're outta here.
262
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:19,170
Ah. Well, I'll try,
but you know,
263
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:22,673
I have to tell you I'm not that
good at performing in public.
264
00:12:22,675 --> 00:12:24,742
Well, not many people are.
265
00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:27,544
That's why we put
that door up there.
266
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,650
Yes, Louis,
Margaret got the flowers.
267
00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:36,119
They're-- They're very lovely.
268
00:12:36,121 --> 00:12:39,557
Look, Louis,
what's going on with you two?
269
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,626
Uh-huh.
Linda.
270
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:44,495
Can't this wait? 'Cause Louis
is spilling his guts.
271
00:12:44,497 --> 00:12:46,364
Do I have any messages?
272
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,365
Hold on, Louis.
273
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,701
Yeah, Bobby Delrusso called.
274
00:12:50,703 --> 00:12:52,202
Oh, will you tell that kid
I'm not buying
275
00:12:52,204 --> 00:12:54,071
any more of his damn
raffle tickets?
276
00:12:54,073 --> 00:12:55,105
The raffle was last week
277
00:12:55,107 --> 00:12:57,475
and he called to say
you won a CD player.
278
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,710
I won?
Yeah.
279
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,346
Oh, man.
280
00:13:03,782 --> 00:13:07,585
She did? Louis, I'm so...
281
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,787
Uh, I-I gotta go, gotta go.
282
00:13:10,789 --> 00:13:13,324
Was that my Louis?
283
00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:16,627
He needed to talk.
Margaret, the man's in agony.
284
00:13:16,629 --> 00:13:19,497
Good.
Is he ready to apologize?
285
00:13:19,499 --> 00:13:22,032
He doesn't even know
what he did.
286
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:25,869
Frankly, we're both a little
surprised by your attitude.
287
00:13:27,638 --> 00:13:30,942
My attitude?
Do you wanna know what he did?
288
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,877
Well, you know me,
I don't like to get involved.
289
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:34,645
But if you really wanna tell me.
290
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,881
Sit down.
Okay.
291
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:38,749
We're in bed.
You know what? Never mind.
292
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:39,950
No.
293
00:13:39,952 --> 00:13:42,920
I'm reading,
he's watching basketball.
294
00:13:42,922 --> 00:13:46,891
Half-time comes,
Louis turns off the sound
295
00:13:46,893 --> 00:13:48,459
and starts to snuggle.
296
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,828
You know, letting me know
that he's in the mood.
297
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:53,430
Margaret, maybe I don't need--
No. It sounds good to me.
298
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:55,333
But I know this man.
299
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,433
And I know he's thinking
300
00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:58,936
this is just a good way
to kill 15 minutes.
301
00:13:58,938 --> 00:14:02,773
I mean, I could've been
a bag of potato chips.
302
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:05,809
So I said,
"Louis, I would love to,
303
00:14:05,811 --> 00:14:07,845
"but I am no half-time show.
304
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:09,412
"Now, you must understand.
305
00:14:09,414 --> 00:14:12,750
"If we do this,
the Knicks game goes off
306
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:14,317
and it stays off.
307
00:14:14,319 --> 00:14:16,620
You've got a choice to make."
308
00:14:16,622 --> 00:14:20,357
He did not choose wisely.
309
00:14:22,160 --> 00:14:23,728
Margaret,
310
00:14:23,730 --> 00:14:26,597
look, you love your husband
and he loves you.
311
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,899
And making love
is the most beautiful way
312
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:31,602
of expressing those feelings
for each other.
313
00:14:31,604 --> 00:14:34,571
I mean, think about it. He could
have been at a bar somewhere
314
00:14:34,573 --> 00:14:37,808
with his buddies watching
the game or with another woman.
315
00:14:37,810 --> 00:14:38,909
But he wasn't.
316
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:42,112
He was at home in bed with you.
317
00:14:42,114 --> 00:14:43,880
I envy you, Margaret.
318
00:14:43,882 --> 00:14:45,182
Do you know how lucky you are
319
00:14:45,184 --> 00:14:47,818
to have a man
who knows your needs,
320
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:49,252
who knows your wants,
321
00:14:49,254 --> 00:14:52,189
who knows your name?
322
00:14:57,229 --> 00:14:58,663
Thank you, Linda.
323
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:00,531
Yes, Linda. Linda.
324
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:03,434
Is that so hard to remember?
325
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,402
( blues theme playing )
326
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:14,378
Linda, did that guy ever come
to fix the x-ray machine?
327
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:16,580
I mean, you call these guys
and they never show up.
328
00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:18,916
Whatever happened
to having pride in your work?
329
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,685
Where's the professionalism?
330
00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,920
Any chance
I'm gonna see the doctor today?
331
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,856
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keep your pants on, will you?
332
00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:27,758
Actually, doctor,
he's been here and gone.
333
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,261
He fixed the machine
and said it was good as new.
334
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,664
Oh. Yeah, well,
how much did he stick us for?
335
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:36,534
Nothing.
It was just a loose connection.
336
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,336
Oh.
337
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:41,938
Come on, come on.
I don't have all day. Come on.
338
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:45,443
( whistles )
339
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:48,012
What's that?
It's from Louis.
340
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:49,580
Well,
put it with the flowers.
341
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,816
Oh, come on, Margaret.
I bet it's an apology.
342
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:54,385
I don't care.
343
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:57,655
Oh, look, it's open.
344
00:15:57,657 --> 00:16:01,725
He sent you a credit card.
Give me that.
345
00:16:04,095 --> 00:16:07,898
It's not a credit card.
It's a hotel room key.
346
00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:11,501
( giggling )
347
00:16:13,371 --> 00:16:16,239
Oh, that sugar bear.
348
00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:20,211
Look what he did.
349
00:16:20,213 --> 00:16:23,714
We are spending the night
in the Huntley Hotel.
350
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,884
You know what?
We are just about done here.
351
00:16:26,886 --> 00:16:28,852
I think I will clear out
a little early.
352
00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:32,390
Close up for me, will you? Bye.
353
00:16:32,392 --> 00:16:34,759
I need Mr. Martin's file.
354
00:16:34,761 --> 00:16:36,660
Where-- Where's Margaret?
355
00:16:36,662 --> 00:16:38,628
Oh, um, she just left early.
356
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:41,064
Louis is treating her
to a romantic evening
357
00:16:41,066 --> 00:16:42,700
at the Huntley Hotel.
358
00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:44,634
Oh, I love that place.
They got a great bar.
359
00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:46,436
They also have
that satellite dish
360
00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:48,973
so they can pick up
the blacked-out Knicks games.
361
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:51,741
Uh-oh.
362
00:16:53,178 --> 00:16:55,112
Oh, Mr. Messinger,
I forgot about you.
363
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,513
I'm sorry, I can't do it.
364
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,615
I just-- I can't.
Well, don't worry about it.
365
00:16:58,617 --> 00:17:01,051
J-just go on home and bring
it back in the morning.
366
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:02,152
Oh, I can do that?
367
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:04,154
Sure.
It's our Home Peeing Option.
368
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:07,725
Oh, great.
Should I bring it back in this?
369
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:09,493
No, no, fax it to me.
370
00:17:09,495 --> 00:17:11,394
( blues theme playing )
371
00:17:15,199 --> 00:17:17,100
( blues theme playing )
372
00:17:19,438 --> 00:17:21,939
Hey, guys.
373
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,341
I see you made it through
your day alive, Becker.
374
00:17:24,343 --> 00:17:26,210
So far. Yeah.
375
00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,913
Well, I'm afraid I've got some
more bad news for you, John.
376
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:31,682
What?
Our horse won.
377
00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:34,051
I cut you in for half.
Here you go.
378
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:38,255
Oh, man, you know,
I can't catch a break.
379
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:40,090
You're welcome.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
380
00:17:40,092 --> 00:17:41,558
I'm gonna go do
what normal people do
381
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,227
when they come into
a whole bunch of money,
382
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,862
go have some fun.
383
00:17:47,164 --> 00:17:49,733
Is this place
ever gonna be a diner again?
384
00:17:49,735 --> 00:17:52,703
Never mind that. Look at what
I found in the storeroom.
385
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:55,138
A TV guide from 1986.
386
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:58,241
I love the crossword puzzle.
They're so easy.
387
00:17:58,243 --> 00:17:59,577
Oh, look at this.
388
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:03,247
"Action show. The blank team."
389
00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:04,214
Hmm.
390
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:06,082
If I remember correctly,
that would be
391
00:18:06,084 --> 00:18:08,685
the mind-numbing-pabulum-
to-keep-the-masses-
392
00:18:08,687 --> 00:18:12,823
from-doing-anything-interesting-
with-their-lives-Team.
393
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:17,594
The A-Team.
394
00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:19,997
But thanks for your help.
395
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:23,233
Hey,
where'd you get that pen?
396
00:18:24,569 --> 00:18:26,970
I found it when I was
cleaning behind the stove.
397
00:18:26,972 --> 00:18:28,205
Pretty nice, huh?
398
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:29,906
My-- My mother gave me that pen
399
00:18:29,908 --> 00:18:31,509
when I graduated
from med school.
400
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,511
I lost that a couple
of years ago.
401
00:18:33,513 --> 00:18:35,813
Nice try.
No, no, I mean it.
402
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:38,014
I've been looking all over
for this. Look right there.
403
00:18:38,016 --> 00:18:41,885
There are my initials. "J.B."
Ha.
404
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:44,921
Getting that back,
that's kind of lucky,
405
00:18:44,923 --> 00:18:46,157
don't you think?
406
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:48,159
Oh, now,
don't start with me, Reg.
407
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,194
It j-- It just means
that the rubber band
408
00:18:50,196 --> 00:18:52,029
hadn't been stretched
far enough yet.
409
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:55,832
That's all.
Oh, boy, am I gonna get it.
410
00:18:57,402 --> 00:19:00,404
Fine, Becker. Let me help you.
What are you doing?
411
00:19:00,406 --> 00:19:03,106
I'm gonna make things better.
No pen, no punishment.
412
00:19:03,108 --> 00:19:06,110
Oh, come on, don't you think
they see through that?
413
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:08,712
Who's they?
Them. They.
414
00:19:08,714 --> 00:19:11,549
The powers that make
all the bad things happen.
415
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,216
Oh, yeah,
416
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:16,219
the Rubber Band People.
417
00:19:18,456 --> 00:19:21,358
But, okay,
418
00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:25,829
( yelling )
I'm throwing the pen away.
419
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:28,097
Oh, it doesn't work that way.
420
00:19:28,099 --> 00:19:29,332
I mean, I got the pen.
421
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:32,336
It's already on the list.
422
00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:36,072
You know, only you could take
an entire day of good fortune,
423
00:19:36,074 --> 00:19:39,042
and turn it into
a diabolical plot.
424
00:19:39,044 --> 00:19:41,211
Do you know
how egotistical it is to think
425
00:19:41,213 --> 00:19:43,280
that the entire universe
revolves around
426
00:19:43,282 --> 00:19:45,115
what happens to John Becker?
427
00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:48,218
Yeah, I know.
I don't get that part either.
428
00:19:49,854 --> 00:19:52,223
God, Becker,
if you keep this up,
429
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,990
I mean,
you're just gonna miss out
430
00:19:53,992 --> 00:19:56,694
on all the good things
that happen in your life.
431
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,196
Now, do you want the pen or not?
432
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:02,199
The pen does mean a lot to me.
433
00:20:02,201 --> 00:20:04,868
Then take it.
434
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,670
Yeah.
435
00:20:06,672 --> 00:20:09,673
Truth is,
I could use this tax refund too.
436
00:20:09,675 --> 00:20:13,410
Then cash it, spend it,
and just shut up.
437
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:16,747
All right, all right.
But I tell you this doesn't mean
438
00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:19,717
that something bad
isn't gonna still happen.
439
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:22,452
Well, we can only hope.
440
00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,888
( blues theme playing )
441
00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:34,231
Oh, a quarter.
442
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,000
( yells )
443
00:20:40,672 --> 00:20:41,972
Are you okay?
Huh?
444
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,473
Oh, yeah,
445
00:20:43,475 --> 00:20:47,378
I just got hit
with a rubber band, that's all.
446
00:20:47,380 --> 00:20:49,046
I've been waiting
for this all day.
447
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:49,980
Then you're all right?
448
00:20:49,982 --> 00:20:52,549
Yeah, I'm fine now.
Good.
449
00:20:52,551 --> 00:20:54,652
Then give me your wallet.
450
00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:57,321
What?
Give me your wallet.
451
00:20:57,323 --> 00:20:59,823
Okay. All right, all right.
452
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:02,926
Hold on. Wallet, horse winnings
453
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,396
and the tax refund.
454
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:06,463
Nice touch.
455
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,365
While you're at it,
I'll take that gold pen.
456
00:21:10,235 --> 00:21:13,136
Oh, yeah, there you go.
457
00:21:13,138 --> 00:21:15,072
The pen too.
458
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:16,473
I didn't see that coming.
459
00:21:16,475 --> 00:21:18,808
That was-- That was good.
460
00:21:21,712 --> 00:21:24,615
Oh, Dr. Becker, good news.
461
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:27,150
It turns out
I'm not being transferred
462
00:21:27,152 --> 00:21:29,119
to Florida after all.
463
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,888
Oh, look. A quarter.
464
00:21:34,659 --> 00:21:36,794
Must be my lucky day.
465
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,396
See you next week.
466
00:21:43,735 --> 00:21:46,469
I love your work.
467
00:21:51,709 --> 00:21:54,277
( blues theme playing )
468
00:21:57,615 --> 00:21:59,550
( blues theme playing )
469
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:04,150
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