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1
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Previously on Awkward...
2
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You lied about everything.
You're not pregnant.
3
00:00:03,414 --> 00:00:04,487
You're not anything.
4
00:00:04,512 --> 00:00:05,812
And if you ever come back here,
5
00:00:05,813 --> 00:00:07,111
then I will tell everybody the truth.
6
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I feel bad about how we ended things.
7
00:00:08,347 --> 00:00:10,047
He said I was a good person.
8
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That son of a bitch.
9
00:00:11,750 --> 00:00:13,817
Jenna, I'm sorry for not trusting you.
10
00:00:16,120 --> 00:00:17,421
New Year's Eve...
11
00:00:17,423 --> 00:00:18,721
a night for saying good-bye to the old
12
00:00:18,723 --> 00:00:19,756
and hello to the new.
13
00:00:19,758 --> 00:00:21,124
"The old" being psycho Eva
14
00:00:21,126 --> 00:00:22,725
who almost destroyed
my friendship with Matty
15
00:00:22,727 --> 00:00:24,928
while sabotaging my
relationship with Luke.
16
00:00:24,930 --> 00:00:27,196
Yet, it was high time to Usher in the new
17
00:00:27,198 --> 00:00:28,531
with a quiet night at home.
18
00:00:28,533 --> 00:00:31,334
Just me, Matty, and a
bottle of cheap champagne.
19
00:00:31,336 --> 00:00:32,602
Are you having some romantic rendezvous
20
00:00:32,604 --> 00:00:33,870
I don't know about?
21
00:00:33,872 --> 00:00:35,304
I thought it was just you and Matty.
22
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It is.
23
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- Oh.
- It's not like that.
24
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We're just friends.
25
00:00:39,444 --> 00:00:40,710
Matty asked to come over tonight
26
00:00:40,712 --> 00:00:42,278
and I thought I'd make it special
27
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,447
since this is our last
New Year's Eve together.
28
00:00:44,449 --> 00:00:46,015
Wait, if it's just you and Matty,
29
00:00:46,017 --> 00:00:48,184
what are you gonna do at midnight?
30
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- Are you gonna kiss?
- No.
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That's not what this is about.
32
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All I'm saying is you're both single
33
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and on the rebound.
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He may have a different
idea of what's gonna happen.
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[Phone chimes]
36
00:00:57,395 --> 00:00:59,328
Your father keeps drunk-dialing me.
37
00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:00,762
He should've just gone
38
00:01:00,764 --> 00:01:02,364
to Ally's party with me
instead of bro-ing out
39
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at some stupid football game.
40
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Hi, hon.
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I know I'm hotter than those cheerleaders!
42
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Would Matty really
expect a kiss at midnight?
43
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Is that why he invited himself over?
44
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I highly doubted it, but
when it came to Matty,
45
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I'd been wrong before.
46
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[Phone buzzes]
47
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Happy new year.
48
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"Happy"? Happy?
49
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How am I supposed to have a happy new year
50
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when you've abandoned me like a baby
51
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in a dumpster outside of prom?
52
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I'm sorry.
53
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:30,992
Matty wanted a quiet night in.
54
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I don't think he's ready to deal
55
00:01:32,329 --> 00:01:33,961
with people asking him about Eva.
56
00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:36,063
Maybe he can choose another
night to play J.D. Salinger?
57
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One that won't make my
New Year's Auld Lang suck.
58
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It's not just him.
59
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I thought I'd be spending
tonight with Luke.
60
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Just not up to partying right now.
61
00:01:43,740 --> 00:01:46,774
What am I supposed to do,
roll solo to Yogurtland?
62
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[Doorbell rings]
63
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Okay, hey, I gotta go.
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Matty's here, but happy new year,
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and I'll talk to you tomorrow.
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[Dreamy music]
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68
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[Both mumbling, laughing]
69
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- Both: Hey!
- Happy new year!
70
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Are we early? Were you guys having dinner?
71
00:02:07,529 --> 00:02:10,530
Nope. Tamara's on her way.
72
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And the table is for my parents.
73
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Hi, Matty.
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Do you like the table
Jenna set up for you two?
75
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She spent all day cooking.
76
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Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
77
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My solo night with Matty
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00:02:28,483 --> 00:02:30,049
had turned into a group affair.
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So much for any chance of a midnight kiss,
80
00:02:32,554 --> 00:02:34,253
but it was nice to have my closest friends
81
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back together, drama-free.
82
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"I resolve to shave."
83
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This is obviously for Jake
to get rid of his 2:00 shadow.
84
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,828
Nope, I wrote that one
for you to shave your legs.
85
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[Laughter]
86
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Fun resolution game, Jenna.
87
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Thanks for inviting me
88
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to your exclusive party
at the very last minute.
89
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,502
You're welcome.
90
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,838
Matty, your turn.
91
00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,272
[Clears throat]
92
00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:56,708
"I resolve to stop dating psychos
93
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who fake their pregnancy."
94
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You guys, who wrote that?
95
00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:02,481
Not cool. Everyone, relax.
96
00:03:02,483 --> 00:03:04,416
I wrote it for myself. It's a joke.
97
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:06,718
- You sure you're okay?
- Yeah.
98
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:07,952
We can joke about things.
99
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:09,854
Please, it makes me feel normal.
100
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,156
"Normal." What a wonderful word.
101
00:03:12,158 --> 00:03:14,325
And Matty and I were on
the path back to normalcy.
102
00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:16,293
But what was normal for us?
103
00:03:16,295 --> 00:03:18,630
Friends? Or something more?
104
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- Pass these.
- Hi, Ty Ty.
105
00:03:24,653 --> 00:03:26,186
What are you doing?
106
00:03:26,188 --> 00:03:27,720
That's Lissa's fake brother, not a waiter.
107
00:03:27,722 --> 00:03:29,589
Oh, my bad.
108
00:03:29,591 --> 00:03:32,725
And that's my friend, Sergio, you racist.
109
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No one here is the help.
110
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Uh, yeah. You are.
111
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Why do you think I told
112
00:03:36,998 --> 00:03:38,364
you and Blondie to wear black and white
113
00:03:38,366 --> 00:03:39,432
and invite your friends?
114
00:03:39,434 --> 00:03:40,466
[Doorbell rings] Ooh.
115
00:03:40,468 --> 00:03:41,601
That must be my Pi Phi Delts.
116
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Hold on to your bras, bitches.
117
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What up, sluts?
118
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[All cheering]
119
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Happy new year!
120
00:03:50,611 --> 00:03:53,745
Hi. Hi.
121
00:03:59,052 --> 00:04:01,687
Oh, could you hold Bronson?
122
00:04:01,689 --> 00:04:03,922
- [Baby spits]
- [Gasps]
123
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Oh, I'm so sorry.
124
00:04:06,526 --> 00:04:09,094
?Hablas ingl?s?
125
00:04:11,297 --> 00:04:13,932
Ally wants a party? I'll give her a party.
126
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This thing is going wide.
127
00:04:16,036 --> 00:04:18,369
"Come to 16 Las Ricas place
128
00:04:18,371 --> 00:04:21,038
"for the biggest New Year's Eve bash ever.
129
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Tell all your friends."
130
00:04:25,777 --> 00:04:28,413
[Phones ring, chime, honk]
131
00:04:28,415 --> 00:04:29,914
Sadie's having a party
at her aunt's house.
132
00:04:29,916 --> 00:04:33,050
We should go, not that this isn't fun.
133
00:04:33,052 --> 00:04:35,586
My mom's there. Who
would want to go to that?
134
00:04:35,588 --> 00:04:37,321
Uh, a lot of people.
135
00:04:37,323 --> 00:04:38,856
Let's go.
136
00:04:38,858 --> 00:04:40,257
I thought you wanted
to have a quiet night.
137
00:04:40,259 --> 00:04:42,093
Oh, that's why this is so lame.
138
00:04:42,095 --> 00:04:43,594
No, this has been great,
139
00:04:43,596 --> 00:04:45,696
but Sadie's could be fun too.
140
00:04:45,698 --> 00:04:46,931
I just thought that maybe
141
00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:49,066
- you'd want to talk or...
- Enough.
142
00:04:49,068 --> 00:04:51,735
Are you guys playing for
gold in the Olympic Lames?
143
00:04:51,737 --> 00:04:54,238
Jenna, Matty, stop moping.
144
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:55,272
Move on.
145
00:04:55,274 --> 00:04:56,406
[Bleep] it!
146
00:04:56,408 --> 00:04:59,075
Yeah. What she said. [Bleep] it.
147
00:04:59,077 --> 00:05:00,777
You know what? We should
make a [bleep] it list.
148
00:05:00,779 --> 00:05:02,212
Everything we thought we couldn't do,
149
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:04,648
'cause we were too sad or too scared,
150
00:05:04,650 --> 00:05:06,016
we should just carpe do it!
151
00:05:06,018 --> 00:05:08,885
Y.O.G.O... You only graduate once.
152
00:05:08,887 --> 00:05:11,487
So skip class and hook up with a rando,
153
00:05:11,489 --> 00:05:12,656
and go to Sadie's rager.
154
00:05:12,658 --> 00:05:14,357
Hell yeah.
155
00:05:14,359 --> 00:05:16,059
- [Clears throat]
- Whoo.
156
00:05:16,061 --> 00:05:18,594
Only problem is I don't
want to hook up with a rando.
157
00:05:18,596 --> 00:05:19,896
Yeah, me either.
158
00:05:19,898 --> 00:05:22,132
Hey, I have a resolution for us.
159
00:05:22,134 --> 00:05:23,933
Eh, it's more of a pact.
160
00:05:23,935 --> 00:05:26,235
- Okay.
- Neither of us hooks up.
161
00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:27,670
If we see the other flirting,
162
00:05:27,672 --> 00:05:29,372
then we swoop in and stop it like a...
163
00:05:29,374 --> 00:05:31,507
- Reverse wingman.
- So can we go?
164
00:05:31,509 --> 00:05:33,976
Why did Matty make the no-hook-up pact?
165
00:05:33,978 --> 00:05:35,911
Was it for fun or did he want to make sure
166
00:05:35,913 --> 00:05:37,380
we were together at midnight?
167
00:05:37,382 --> 00:05:39,782
Maybe there really was
a kiss in our future.
168
00:05:39,784 --> 00:05:43,385
All right. Let's go.
169
00:05:43,387 --> 00:05:45,754
Why did Ally invite Barbara McKibben?
170
00:05:45,756 --> 00:05:46,822
She hates me.
171
00:05:46,824 --> 00:05:48,356
She invited the entire P.T.A.
172
00:05:48,358 --> 00:05:50,793
Odds are she was drunk at the time.
173
00:05:50,795 --> 00:05:51,794
Mmm.
174
00:05:51,796 --> 00:05:52,928
Kamikaze, daddy?
175
00:05:52,930 --> 00:05:54,362
- Mommy?
- Mmm. Thanks, honey.
176
00:05:54,364 --> 00:05:56,665
You know I don't drink
hard alcohol, Missy.
177
00:05:56,667 --> 00:05:58,466
But there's that bottle of
vodka in the laundry hamper.
178
00:05:58,468 --> 00:06:00,001
It's tough on stains.
179
00:06:00,003 --> 00:06:03,238
Tyler, I'll take whatever you have.
180
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:05,207
Thank you.
181
00:06:05,209 --> 00:06:06,174
Mmm.
182
00:06:06,176 --> 00:06:07,409
- Mmm.
- Shot?
183
00:06:07,411 --> 00:06:11,646
Oh, no, thanks. I'm on a cleanse.
184
00:06:11,648 --> 00:06:14,281
Oh, for God's sake.
185
00:06:14,283 --> 00:06:17,151
I have an 18-year unbroken streak
186
00:06:17,153 --> 00:06:18,419
of throwing kick-ass parties.
187
00:06:18,421 --> 00:06:19,754
It does not end tonight!
188
00:06:19,756 --> 00:06:21,789
Time to put some spice on this ice.
189
00:06:21,791 --> 00:06:23,191
Ice luge!
190
00:06:23,193 --> 00:06:25,426
Sadie texted me saying
there is an ice luge!
191
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:26,761
I am so excited.
192
00:06:26,763 --> 00:06:28,930
I hope that dumb yum
wrestler Pete is here.
193
00:06:28,932 --> 00:06:30,497
He's number one on my [bleep] it list.
194
00:06:30,499 --> 00:06:32,132
I need to finish what
I started in Snow Valley
195
00:06:32,134 --> 00:06:33,967
- and tap him out.
- [Grunts]
196
00:06:33,969 --> 00:06:37,037
Holla, party people!
197
00:06:37,039 --> 00:06:40,641
Who's ready to get this new year's jam on?
198
00:06:40,643 --> 00:06:41,942
[Door closes]
199
00:06:43,578 --> 00:06:45,446
Oh.
200
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,380
- Nice one.
- Hey, guys.
201
00:06:47,382 --> 00:06:49,682
I am so happy you are here.
202
00:06:49,684 --> 00:06:51,752
This party is so lame.
203
00:06:51,754 --> 00:06:53,754
And Jenna's father abandoned me to go
204
00:06:53,756 --> 00:06:55,756
to some stupid Splenda Bowl.
205
00:06:55,758 --> 00:06:57,124
- Both: Sugar.
- Whatever.
206
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,592
Which leaves me here with Val who I love,
207
00:06:59,594 --> 00:07:03,196
but...
208
00:07:03,198 --> 00:07:04,330
You know?
209
00:07:04,332 --> 00:07:05,365
Hi, Matty.
210
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:08,000
Tamela, Jake, Jenna.
211
00:07:08,002 --> 00:07:09,736
Mom, what are you doing here?
212
00:07:09,738 --> 00:07:11,404
Ally invited me.
213
00:07:11,406 --> 00:07:13,706
I don't know why I'm
here. I don't know anyone.
214
00:07:13,708 --> 00:07:15,275
Well, I do.
215
00:07:15,277 --> 00:07:17,810
Looks like Matty needed
less of a cock block
216
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,279
and more of an emotional rock.
217
00:07:19,281 --> 00:07:22,381
He and his mom were clearly
still not on good terms.
218
00:07:22,383 --> 00:07:23,916
[Doorbell rings]
219
00:07:25,218 --> 00:07:27,787
It's a new year's miracle!
220
00:07:27,789 --> 00:07:29,855
[All cheering]
221
00:07:29,857 --> 00:07:33,058
[Energetic dance music]
222
00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:36,628
223
00:07:36,630 --> 00:07:37,829
Welcome, everybody!
224
00:07:37,831 --> 00:07:40,699
Happy new year!
225
00:07:40,701 --> 00:07:42,033
What did you do?
226
00:07:42,035 --> 00:07:45,704
I invited the entire school... district.
227
00:07:45,706 --> 00:07:47,606
Your geriatric snore-fest
228
00:07:47,608 --> 00:07:50,842
just turned into a high school rager.
229
00:07:50,844 --> 00:07:53,278
Thank you.
230
00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,947
So much for a night of
getting closer to Matty.
231
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:59,608
Sadie's party was already
epic and overwhelming.
232
00:07:59,655 --> 00:08:01,155
I didn't recognize half the people there
233
00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,301
and hadn't seen Matty for an hour.
234
00:08:03,303 --> 00:08:04,405
The way things were going,
235
00:08:04,431 --> 00:08:06,204
we'd never be together at midnight.
236
00:08:06,206 --> 00:08:07,708
There's Pete. I'm going in.
237
00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:09,820
But first, some liquid courage.
238
00:08:14,890 --> 00:08:16,557
Hey. Excuse me.
239
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,729
Whew.
240
00:08:17,769 --> 00:08:18,802
That was a close call.
241
00:08:18,804 --> 00:08:20,336
Better let me get it for you.
242
00:08:20,338 --> 00:08:21,838
[Clears throat]
243
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,541
Can I see some I.D., son?
244
00:08:24,543 --> 00:08:25,908
- Uh, I-I, uh...
- Don't have one?
245
00:08:25,910 --> 00:08:27,377
Looks like I'm gonna have to cuff you.
246
00:08:27,379 --> 00:08:30,146
Officer, I've been bad.
247
00:08:30,148 --> 00:08:32,148
Cuff me.
248
00:08:32,150 --> 00:08:33,749
[Dance music]
249
00:08:33,751 --> 00:08:34,950
That fake-out was pretty good,
250
00:08:34,952 --> 00:08:36,352
but I knew you hired a stripper.
251
00:08:36,354 --> 00:08:38,187
I totally knew that.
I'm gonna need a drink.
252
00:08:38,189 --> 00:08:41,391
I'm taking all you fine ladies down...
253
00:08:41,393 --> 00:08:42,992
Town.
254
00:08:42,994 --> 00:08:44,126
Whoo!
255
00:08:44,128 --> 00:08:45,628
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
256
00:08:45,630 --> 00:08:47,696
Never had cock-blocking been so literal.
257
00:08:47,698 --> 00:08:50,465
How was hanging with Matty so hard?
258
00:08:50,467 --> 00:08:52,367
Wrong word. Difficult.
259
00:08:52,369 --> 00:08:53,769
[All shouting, whistling]
260
00:08:53,771 --> 00:08:56,171
Hey, do you guys know whose party this is?
261
00:08:56,173 --> 00:08:57,806
I just heard it's like a former rich bitch
262
00:08:57,808 --> 00:08:59,341
whose mom just, like, bailed on her
263
00:08:59,343 --> 00:09:01,376
and now she has to live at
home with her drunk aunt.
264
00:09:01,378 --> 00:09:02,810
- So dark.
- You know what's dark?
265
00:09:02,812 --> 00:09:04,812
The dungeon where I keep rude
people who run their mouth.
266
00:09:04,814 --> 00:09:06,881
You want to see it?
267
00:09:06,883 --> 00:09:10,585
I don't need you to defend me.
268
00:09:11,136 --> 00:09:12,120
Yowzer.
269
00:09:12,122 --> 00:09:15,156
There's a cougar is on the prowl.
270
00:09:15,158 --> 00:09:16,357
I'm Natalie.
271
00:09:16,359 --> 00:09:18,560
Oh, do you guys go to SCU?
272
00:09:18,562 --> 00:09:20,789
Uh, what do you think?
273
00:09:20,815 --> 00:09:22,897
College was such a great time.
274
00:09:22,899 --> 00:09:24,566
- It's great.
- Yeah.
275
00:09:24,568 --> 00:09:26,434
So what's your major?
276
00:09:26,436 --> 00:09:27,969
He's in beauty school.
277
00:09:27,995 --> 00:09:30,053
He's totally changed my
approach to eye shadow.
278
00:09:30,079 --> 00:09:31,805
She thought she was an autumn.
279
00:09:31,807 --> 00:09:33,374
[Laughs] Can you believe that?
280
00:09:33,376 --> 00:09:35,576
I can't believe whatever
it is you're doing.
281
00:09:35,578 --> 00:09:38,446
Hey, Jake. Play us a song.
282
00:09:38,448 --> 00:09:40,448
- Oh.
- Oh, are you a singer?
283
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:43,284
I am whatever you want me
284
00:09:43,286 --> 00:09:45,453
to be
285
00:09:45,455 --> 00:09:47,621
[Vocalizing]
286
00:09:47,623 --> 00:09:49,289
girl
287
00:09:49,291 --> 00:09:51,024
I know someone else
288
00:09:51,026 --> 00:09:54,194
who would love the sound of your voice.
289
00:09:54,196 --> 00:09:55,428
Come upstairs.
290
00:09:55,430 --> 00:09:58,031
Upstairs?
291
00:09:58,033 --> 00:10:00,734
[Mouths silently] Threesome.
292
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:07,807
[Chuckles]
293
00:10:07,809 --> 00:10:10,810
That's Madison.
294
00:10:10,812 --> 00:10:12,579
Do you know any lullabies?
295
00:10:12,581 --> 00:10:15,681
Oh. Um...
296
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:16,983
Hey, DJ
297
00:10:16,985 --> 00:10:19,252
How do you even know what an "autumn" is?
298
00:10:19,254 --> 00:10:20,286
Cosmo.
299
00:10:20,288 --> 00:10:22,221
Cock-blocking Matty was kind of fun.
300
00:10:22,223 --> 00:10:23,889
This wasn't how I thought we'd reconnect,
301
00:10:23,891 --> 00:10:26,325
but hey, when in Rome or Ally's.
302
00:10:26,327 --> 00:10:28,193
Hey, what's your name?
303
00:10:28,195 --> 00:10:29,228
Oh, um, I'm...
304
00:10:29,230 --> 00:10:30,527
Oh, so sorry to interrupt, Jenna,
305
00:10:30,553 --> 00:10:33,454
but you've got this huge bat in the cave.
306
00:10:33,456 --> 00:10:36,022
She's getting over a nasty cold, man.
307
00:10:36,024 --> 00:10:37,257
[Groans]
308
00:10:37,259 --> 00:10:39,192
Hey, dude, this keg is kicked!
309
00:10:39,194 --> 00:10:41,561
I'll see you later.
310
00:10:41,827 --> 00:10:43,627
Matty wasn't getting away that easy.
311
00:10:43,629 --> 00:10:45,962
Wait, Matty was getting away.
312
00:10:45,964 --> 00:10:49,166
- Hey, I'm Owen.
- Nice to meet you, Owen.
313
00:10:49,168 --> 00:10:51,602
Isn't this the best party ever?
314
00:10:51,604 --> 00:10:53,069
Yeah, it's full of kids.
315
00:10:53,071 --> 00:10:54,537
Don't you feel a little out of place?
316
00:10:54,539 --> 00:10:57,240
Honey, just relax. Have fun.
317
00:10:57,242 --> 00:10:59,743
I'm gonna get a wine
cooler. Do you want anything?
318
00:11:01,612 --> 00:11:02,846
Happy new year!
319
00:11:02,848 --> 00:11:04,180
[Cheers and applause]
320
00:11:04,182 --> 00:11:06,415
Looks like your mom's having fun.
321
00:11:06,417 --> 00:11:08,118
Yeah, it's embarrassing.
322
00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,186
Hey, at least your mom
knows how to have fun.
323
00:11:10,188 --> 00:11:12,788
Have you talked to her about anything?
324
00:11:12,790 --> 00:11:14,390
I don't know how to talk to her.
325
00:11:15,219 --> 00:11:16,492
Remember when my mom wrote me
326
00:11:16,494 --> 00:11:17,760
the carefrontation letter?
327
00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,362
Yeah, that was brutal.
328
00:11:19,364 --> 00:11:20,763
Beyond.
329
00:11:20,765 --> 00:11:22,532
And I thought I would never forgive her,
330
00:11:22,534 --> 00:11:25,201
but I'm glad I did.
331
00:11:25,203 --> 00:11:27,402
I realized that adults are just people,
332
00:11:27,404 --> 00:11:29,404
making it up as they go along.
333
00:11:29,406 --> 00:11:31,339
You should talk to her.
334
00:11:31,958 --> 00:11:34,403
Yeah, maybe I'll try.
335
00:11:35,546 --> 00:11:37,012
We need to find someplace private.
336
00:11:37,014 --> 00:11:40,182
Anywhere. I need to kiss you.
337
00:11:40,184 --> 00:11:41,583
Aah!
338
00:11:41,585 --> 00:11:43,251
Oh, my God!
339
00:11:43,253 --> 00:11:44,919
Daddy, what's going on?
340
00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,054
Lissa!
341
00:11:46,056 --> 00:11:48,523
This man told me he was a police officer!
342
00:11:48,525 --> 00:11:49,757
I swear.
343
00:11:49,759 --> 00:11:52,594
You mean he made you lick his tummy?
344
00:11:56,152 --> 00:11:58,419
What is going on here?
345
00:11:58,421 --> 00:11:59,453
Lissa?
346
00:11:59,455 --> 00:12:01,388
I saw daddy...
347
00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:04,691
I saw a daddy longlegs.
348
00:12:04,693 --> 00:12:06,459
Oh. Well, kill it.
349
00:12:06,461 --> 00:12:09,730
They're opening a '95
Moet in the living room.
350
00:12:09,732 --> 00:12:11,765
Come, Tyler. I'd love some bubbly.
351
00:12:11,767 --> 00:12:15,035
- Let's go.
- [Laughs]
352
00:12:15,037 --> 00:12:18,071
Okay, what were you really screaming at?
353
00:12:18,073 --> 00:12:20,206
I think my dad might be gay.
354
00:12:20,208 --> 00:12:21,474
Okay.
355
00:12:21,476 --> 00:12:24,377
He is so gay.
356
00:12:24,379 --> 00:12:25,678
His obsession with spin class,
357
00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,447
shoes, and Jesus' abs tips it off.
358
00:12:27,449 --> 00:12:30,116
Relax. It's a good thing.
359
00:12:30,118 --> 00:12:31,917
Now he can finally come
out, instead of hiding
360
00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,786
in that closet full of yellow pants.
361
00:12:33,788 --> 00:12:35,054
You should tell your mom.
362
00:12:35,056 --> 00:12:36,922
I can't! That would kill her.
363
00:12:37,611 --> 00:12:39,224
Is it even my secret to tell?
364
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:42,294
Jesus does have great abs.
365
00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:45,839
[Dance music]
366
00:12:45,865 --> 00:12:47,899
You've got great moves, Tamara.
367
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,601
You don't know the half of it.
368
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,904
[Plays guitar]
369
00:12:52,906 --> 00:12:54,272
You're amazing.
370
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,607
It usually takes forever
for her to fall asleep.
371
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,710
I'm happy to help. She's really cute.
372
00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,013
You're really cute.
373
00:13:05,017 --> 00:13:07,151
Who do you have there?
374
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:08,519
She was my horse.
375
00:13:08,521 --> 00:13:11,255
"Was" your horse? Did she quit?
376
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:12,689
No, I had her when I was rich,
377
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:15,725
before my dad went to prison
and my mom abandoned me.
378
00:13:16,072 --> 00:13:17,928
I'm sorry, Sadita.
379
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:19,196
Don't feel bad for me.
380
00:13:19,198 --> 00:13:20,664
I'll do what I want to, bitch.
381
00:13:20,666 --> 00:13:21,897
Pussy.
382
00:13:23,569 --> 00:13:25,936
Where's Jake? It's almost midnight.
383
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,571
I wanted us all to be together.
384
00:13:27,573 --> 00:13:29,940
I definitely don't want
to interrupt him right now.
385
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,576
So where's Tamara?
386
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:34,477
Ah, okay.
387
00:13:34,479 --> 00:13:35,445
She's out.
388
00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:36,813
Just you and me.
389
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:38,448
Let's find some fancy booze
for our midnight toast.
390
00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:39,683
Perfect.
391
00:13:39,685 --> 00:13:42,218
So it would be just me
and Matty at midnight,
392
00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:44,520
a new year starting off
with a lot of promise.
393
00:13:44,522 --> 00:13:45,721
Oh.
394
00:13:45,723 --> 00:13:48,458
Looks like your mom's
having a great time...
395
00:13:48,460 --> 00:13:49,525
With my mom.
396
00:13:49,527 --> 00:13:51,327
Oh, God. They're coming towards us.
397
00:13:51,329 --> 00:13:53,329
- What up, kids?
- Hi, guys!
398
00:13:53,331 --> 00:13:56,199
- What up... moms?
- [Laughter]
399
00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:57,567
Are you guys having fun?
400
00:13:57,569 --> 00:13:59,135
- Yeah, you know what?
- [Blows raspberry]
401
00:13:59,137 --> 00:14:00,769
It turns out Lacey and I have a lot more
402
00:14:00,771 --> 00:14:02,170
in common than we thought.
403
00:14:02,172 --> 00:14:04,640
We're gonna start a book and wine club.
404
00:14:04,642 --> 00:14:07,576
- Or maybe just wine.
- Right, maybe just wine.
405
00:14:07,578 --> 00:14:09,612
I had never seen Matty's mom like this.
406
00:14:09,614 --> 00:14:11,546
She seemed human.
407
00:14:11,548 --> 00:14:12,982
[Chuckles]
408
00:14:12,984 --> 00:14:14,316
- Oh, no.
- What are you doing?
409
00:14:14,318 --> 00:14:16,118
I want to hang with my new bestie, Barb.
410
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,719
You have to let them talk.
411
00:14:17,721 --> 00:14:19,821
New bestie? What?
412
00:14:19,823 --> 00:14:21,656
[Thud] Oh, come on.
413
00:14:21,658 --> 00:14:23,091
Better go do damage control.
414
00:14:23,093 --> 00:14:25,727
Val, I didn't mean it! I didn't!
415
00:14:25,729 --> 00:14:28,230
Looked like Matty and I
had a lot to celebrate.
416
00:14:28,232 --> 00:14:30,965
I needed to find something
nice for our midnight toast.
417
00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:32,934
I wanted it to be perfect.
418
00:14:36,404 --> 00:14:39,573
Tyler, I feel like I've
barely seen you all night.
419
00:14:39,575 --> 00:14:42,143
I've been showing him around the house.
420
00:14:42,145 --> 00:14:44,078
Aren't we an attentive little hostess?
421
00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,547
But let's not monopolize him, okay?
422
00:14:46,549 --> 00:14:48,082
Your mother's right, Lissa.
423
00:14:48,084 --> 00:14:50,817
You need to share.
424
00:14:50,819 --> 00:14:52,620
You're right, daddy,
425
00:14:52,622 --> 00:14:54,421
we should all share.
426
00:14:54,423 --> 00:14:57,458
Do you have anything you want to share?
427
00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:59,426
Please?
428
00:14:59,428 --> 00:15:00,727
No.
429
00:15:00,729 --> 00:15:02,463
Well, then,
430
00:15:02,465 --> 00:15:04,698
I do.
431
00:15:04,700 --> 00:15:08,301
I don't think it's healthy to live a lie.
432
00:15:08,303 --> 00:15:12,238
So I want to share that...
433
00:15:12,240 --> 00:15:14,041
that...
434
00:15:14,043 --> 00:15:16,643
I'm in love with my brother!
435
00:15:16,645 --> 00:15:18,578
[Gasps]
436
00:15:18,580 --> 00:15:21,014
Not what I was expecting you to say,
437
00:15:21,016 --> 00:15:23,283
but impressive nonetheless.
438
00:15:23,285 --> 00:15:24,284
Word.
439
00:15:24,286 --> 00:15:25,885
Ah, I feel so much better now.
440
00:15:25,887 --> 00:15:30,590
Daddy, do you have anything
you would like to say?
441
00:15:32,359 --> 00:15:35,628
Yes, I do.
442
00:15:35,630 --> 00:15:38,565
I'm so glad you confessed
your sins, Lissa.
443
00:15:38,567 --> 00:15:41,000
God forgives.
444
00:15:41,002 --> 00:15:42,267
Well, he might,
445
00:15:42,269 --> 00:15:44,403
but only after buckets of atonement.
446
00:15:44,405 --> 00:15:46,739
Lust within the bosom of the family
447
00:15:46,741 --> 00:15:48,140
is a vile sin!
448
00:15:48,142 --> 00:15:51,777
There was no bosom. It was over the shirt.
449
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,092
Is that Green Day?
450
00:15:58,094 --> 00:15:59,571
Oh, hey.
451
00:15:59,649 --> 00:16:01,243
- Owen, right?
- Yeah.
452
00:16:01,274 --> 00:16:03,742
- Hi, Jenna.
- Sorry to interrupt.
453
00:16:03,774 --> 00:16:05,174
It just sounded like you
were playing Basket Case.
454
00:16:05,176 --> 00:16:07,388
And that was, like, my
favorite song as a kid.
455
00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:08,947
Well, technically you're right.
456
00:16:08,973 --> 00:16:11,440
But I prefer the classical version.
457
00:16:11,442 --> 00:16:13,575
Pachelbel's Canon in "D."
458
00:16:13,577 --> 00:16:18,268
459
00:16:18,294 --> 00:16:19,147
Wow.
460
00:16:19,149 --> 00:16:21,016
Well, nothing says punk
rock like ripping off
461
00:16:21,018 --> 00:16:23,318
a dead 17th century composer, so...
462
00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,453
[Plays Symphony No. 5]
463
00:16:25,455 --> 00:16:28,023
Oh, is that that Robin Thicke one,
464
00:16:28,025 --> 00:16:28,991
When I Get You Alone?
465
00:16:28,993 --> 00:16:30,392
Slightly more obvious,
466
00:16:30,394 --> 00:16:33,060
better known as Beethoven's Fifth.
467
00:16:33,062 --> 00:16:38,933
468
00:16:38,935 --> 00:16:40,635
- That is so cool.
- Yep.
469
00:16:40,637 --> 00:16:43,070
You were a classical music fan,
and you didn't even know it.
470
00:16:43,072 --> 00:16:44,873
Hey, I'm sorry I was so rude earlier.
471
00:16:44,875 --> 00:16:46,573
I was looking for someone.
472
00:16:46,575 --> 00:16:50,011
Oh, no worries.
473
00:16:50,013 --> 00:16:52,713
Well, it was nice to see you,
474
00:16:52,715 --> 00:16:53,814
and I better go.
475
00:16:53,816 --> 00:16:56,583
Look for someone. Got it.
476
00:16:56,585 --> 00:16:59,053
Bye.
477
00:16:59,055 --> 00:17:00,721
Ooh.
478
00:17:00,723 --> 00:17:02,323
Mom, I'm sorry I've given you
479
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:04,124
so much [bleep] these past few months.
480
00:17:04,126 --> 00:17:06,293
Matty, watch your language.
481
00:17:06,295 --> 00:17:08,629
You've put me through the [bleep] wringer.
482
00:17:08,631 --> 00:17:09,830
Mom.
483
00:17:09,832 --> 00:17:11,331
Don't tell your father.
484
00:17:11,333 --> 00:17:15,702
But after a few Pinot Grigios,
I turn into Chris Rock.
485
00:17:15,704 --> 00:17:19,306
I'm the one who should be sorry.
486
00:17:19,308 --> 00:17:22,475
I really... I could've
handled things so much better.
487
00:17:22,477 --> 00:17:25,745
I'm not exactly a perfect mother.
488
00:17:25,747 --> 00:17:29,515
Well, I'm not exactly the perfect son.
489
00:17:30,408 --> 00:17:32,385
Thanks.
490
00:17:34,221 --> 00:17:36,422
Midnight was approaching,
and no sign of Matty.
491
00:17:36,424 --> 00:17:39,058
He said he wanted to be
together, but where was he?
492
00:17:39,060 --> 00:17:40,059
Hey.
493
00:17:40,061 --> 00:17:41,226
Have you guys seen Matty?
494
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:42,495
- No.
- I did.
495
00:17:42,497 --> 00:17:43,863
He took off with some older chick.
496
00:17:43,865 --> 00:17:45,164
His mom?
497
00:17:45,166 --> 00:17:46,866
I think his mom's with your mom.
498
00:17:46,868 --> 00:17:48,033
Hello, hell frozen over.
499
00:17:48,035 --> 00:17:49,335
Anyone have a fire Popsicle?
500
00:17:49,337 --> 00:17:50,803
It was some hot cougar chick
501
00:17:50,805 --> 00:17:53,605
who was totally hammered
and so ready to throw down.
502
00:17:53,607 --> 00:17:55,674
Pete, focus.
503
00:17:55,676 --> 00:17:57,542
Not only did Matty not
care about being together
504
00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,578
at midnight, but he clearly
wasn't really worried
505
00:17:59,580 --> 00:18:01,513
about our no-hook-up pact either.
506
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:03,582
All I knew was I didn't
want to start a new year
507
00:18:03,584 --> 00:18:04,984
feeling rejected by him.
508
00:18:04,986 --> 00:18:06,318
Been there, done that.
509
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:10,555
And the new year is supposed to be... new.
510
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:13,124
[Plays piano]
511
00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,893
[Music stops]
512
00:18:15,787 --> 00:18:17,271
Do you take requests?
513
00:18:21,034 --> 00:18:22,601
Have you guys seen Jenna?
514
00:18:22,603 --> 00:18:23,768
Mm.
515
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,669
Ten seconds to midnight!
516
00:18:25,671 --> 00:18:30,308
All: Ten, nine, eight, seven, six,
517
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:33,577
five, four, three,
518
00:18:33,579 --> 00:18:34,879
two, one!
519
00:18:34,881 --> 00:18:35,946
Happy new year!
520
00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:39,183
All we gotta do
521
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:42,152
Is keep this secret
522
00:18:42,154 --> 00:18:45,222
We can keep this secret
523
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:47,157
We can keep this secret
524
00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:51,261
All we gotta do
525
00:18:51,263 --> 00:18:54,231
Is keep this secret
526
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:57,267
We can keep this secret
527
00:18:57,269 --> 00:18:59,136
We can keep this secret
528
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:03,240
All we gotta do
529
00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:06,176
Is keep this secret
530
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:09,479
We can keep this secret
531
00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,349
532
00:19:14,795 --> 00:19:17,480
In the light of day, the
new year looked promising.
533
00:19:17,506 --> 00:19:19,728
Matty and I had both failed
at our no-hook-up pact,
534
00:19:19,754 --> 00:19:21,420
but not at renewing our friendship.
535
00:19:21,422 --> 00:19:24,957
Owen and I hadn't exchanged
numbers or even last names.
536
00:19:24,958 --> 00:19:26,524
He was the perfect midnight kiss...
537
00:19:26,527 --> 00:19:27,693
No complications.
538
00:19:27,694 --> 00:19:29,060
And we only went to second base,
539
00:19:29,063 --> 00:19:30,463
so as far as I was concerned,
540
00:19:30,465 --> 00:19:31,930
I had a very clean slate.
541
00:19:31,932 --> 00:19:33,999
Oh, look who came up for air.
542
00:19:34,001 --> 00:19:36,701
My face is actually sore
from making out with Pete.
543
00:19:36,703 --> 00:19:38,503
He is crossed off my "[bleep] it" list.
544
00:19:38,505 --> 00:19:40,839
Gross. I'm glad my midnight
kiss wasn't like that.
545
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,274
You broke the no-hook-up pact?
546
00:19:43,277 --> 00:19:45,077
Well, if you call kissing
my mom on the cheek
547
00:19:45,079 --> 00:19:46,311
breaking the pact.
548
00:19:46,313 --> 00:19:48,080
Which I wouldn't, because it's gross.
549
00:19:48,082 --> 00:19:50,305
Yeah, I wouldn't want to
be kissing any old moms.
550
00:19:50,331 --> 00:19:52,684
- Wait, your mom?
- Yeah, I talked to her.
551
00:19:52,686 --> 00:19:54,619
- It was really good.
- Good.
552
00:19:54,621 --> 00:19:56,271
Where were you at midnight, Jenna?
553
00:19:56,297 --> 00:19:57,955
Yeah, I was looking for you.
554
00:19:57,957 --> 00:19:59,924
Uh...
555
00:20:01,427 --> 00:20:03,695
Does that guy go to our school?
556
00:20:03,697 --> 00:20:04,496
Owen?
557
00:20:04,498 --> 00:20:05,797
Sophomore in orchestra.
558
00:20:05,799 --> 00:20:08,065
Who cares? Where were you at midnight?
559
00:20:08,067 --> 00:20:09,901
[Gasps] Oh, my God,
did you break the pact?
560
00:20:09,903 --> 00:20:12,603
My clean slate had
suddenly become a bit dirty.
561
00:20:12,605 --> 00:20:14,806
Not only did I break
the no-hook-up pact,
562
00:20:14,808 --> 00:20:16,407
but I did it with a sophomore.
563
00:20:16,409 --> 00:20:18,876
No, I was with my mom also.
564
00:20:18,878 --> 00:20:20,411
- [Laughs]
- Outside.
565
00:20:20,413 --> 00:20:21,612
- She was puking.
- Mm.
566
00:20:21,614 --> 00:20:24,415
Wow. Looks like we did it.
567
00:20:24,417 --> 00:20:26,517
Although you owe me a midnight kiss.
568
00:20:26,519 --> 00:20:28,542
Make that a very dirty slate.
569
00:20:28,568 --> 00:20:31,018
Synced and corrected by Chitorafa
www.addic7ed.com
570
00:20:31,068 --> 00:20:35,618
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