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1
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:07,507
ANNOUNCER: They're wheel-
to-wheel coming out of the last chicane...
2
00:00:07,675 --> 00:00:11,094
...the Frenchman DeVoe
making a run at Bivens for second.
3
00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:14,180
But they won't be able to catch Bell
as he takes the flag and...
4
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:17,433
Oh, it's a great start
to the qualifying heats...
5
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:19,811
...here at the Monaco Grand Prix.
6
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:21,270
MALORY:
I beg your pardon?
7
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,940
BENOIT [IN FRENCH ACCENT]:
Your room, madame, is no longer.
8
00:00:24,108 --> 00:00:25,191
But I had a reservation.
9
00:00:25,359 --> 00:00:27,777
[SPEAKS FRENCH]
10
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,863
I don't care
if it's a Wehrmacht reunion party.
11
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,491
Aah.
This isn't my first Grand Prix, you know.
12
00:00:33,659 --> 00:00:37,453
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
13
00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:40,998
[SPEAKING IN FRENCH]
14
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:42,500
Lana Kane?
No.
15
00:00:42,668 --> 00:00:43,918
See?
What?
16
00:00:44,086 --> 00:00:46,129
[BOTH SPEAK IN FRENCH]
17
00:00:46,296 --> 00:00:48,131
So where are we supposed to sleep?
18
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:49,799
Voil?.
MALORY: No.
19
00:00:49,967 --> 00:00:51,759
I am not sharing a room with you.
20
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:55,388
No, I'm sharing it with you,
and it's the last one in the hotel.
21
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,473
No view, but it's got two queens.
22
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,767
Where's the other?
Greasing up in the bathroom?
23
00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:00,977
Malory.
You know what?
24
00:01:01,145 --> 00:01:04,147
Hey, look, Ray, this is fine.
Two of us will just have to double up.
25
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,982
Exactly, two of you.
Wha...?
26
00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:09,110
Ha. Excuse me?
I am not sharing a bed.
27
00:01:09,278 --> 00:01:12,280
It's bad enough Lachouffe
made us schlep all the way to Monaco...
28
00:01:12,448 --> 00:01:15,324
...for whatever's on that damn disk.
29
00:01:15,492 --> 00:01:17,827
Which had better be worth
this splitting headache.
30
00:01:17,995 --> 00:01:20,121
Yeah, help yourself.
Go ahead, drink it up.
31
00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,832
Well, it sure better be
worth 4 million bucks.
32
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,500
Which is where?
33
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,169
Oh, Sterling has it.
What?
34
00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:29,672
You turned Archer loose in a casino
with $4 million?
35
00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:30,840
Oh, don't worry.
36
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:35,595
He may be a vain, selfish, lying,
and quite possibly alcoholic man-whore...
37
00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:38,181
...but gambling
is one vice Sterling doesn't have.
38
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:41,184
Uh, guess he's too busy
doing all that other awesome stuff.
39
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,644
Thanks, Mother.
MALORY: Oh, shu... Aah!
40
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,439
Why isn't there a metal briefcase
full of bearer bonds...
41
00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:48,608
...handcuffed to your drinking arm?
42
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,443
Uh, you just answered
your own question.
43
00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:54,447
Sterling, if you left that briefcase
in some cathouse, I swear to God...
44
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:58,159
Relax. The money's totally safe,
on deposit with the casino.
45
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,077
Wha...?
That way they comp everything.
46
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,372
I call it the Sterling Archer
Triple-A Power Play.
47
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,792
And yes, the A stands for "awesome."
48
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,795
Did you get a receipt?
ARCHER: Of... Of course I did.
49
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,380
Obviously, I did that.
50
00:02:11,965 --> 00:02:13,841
Now if you will excusez-moi...
51
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,718
Ah, Monsieur Archer.
52
00:02:15,886 --> 00:02:18,638
If you will please to follow me
to le suite royale...
53
00:02:18,806 --> 00:02:23,684
...where I took a liberty
to have a woman waiting in your Jacuzzi.
54
00:02:23,852 --> 00:02:25,561
Yes, I will.
55
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,104
Good work there, uh...
56
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:30,274
Uh, Benoit.
Ha-ha-ha.
57
00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:32,193
Sorry. Ha!
58
00:02:32,361 --> 00:02:36,030
Sorry, sorry.
I was laughing at your name.
59
00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:15,111
ARCHER: I mean, because you know
what it sounds like, right?
60
00:03:15,279 --> 00:03:16,362
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
61
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:20,199
Sounds like "Ben Wa balls," Benoit.
"Balls." See?
62
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:22,785
I can't even say it without saying "balls."
Say your name.
63
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:23,995
[SIGHS]
64
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,288
Benoit.
Balls.
65
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:29,709
See? Physically impossible.
Does monsieur require anything else?
66
00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:31,669
Yes, I do, Benoit balls.
67
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:34,505
Monsieur desires more champagne,
steak frites...
68
00:03:34,673 --> 00:03:37,925
...a post-Jacuzzi female companion,
and for somebody to get up here...
69
00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:40,136
...and fold his towels into swans.
70
00:03:40,304 --> 00:03:42,013
Not these towels, some thicker ones.
71
00:03:42,180 --> 00:03:45,766
As thick as possible,
while still being swan-shape foldable.
72
00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:46,976
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
73
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:50,313
And, uh, when will monsieur desire
to try his luck at the tables?
74
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,106
Wow, what is French
for "broken record"?
75
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:56,485
Pardon, monsieur, but as I said,
the suite royale is reserved for...
76
00:03:56,653 --> 00:04:00,072
MALORY: Sterling Malory Archer.
And there goes my erection.
77
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:01,991
Hi, Mother.
We're switching rooms.
78
00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,660
I want my luggage up here
in three minutes.
79
00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:05,995
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
80
00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,664
My bellhops have been taken prisoner
by the Wehrmacht.
81
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:11,000
Wait, what?
Now you just listen to me, bub...
82
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:15,671
Madame, the only way you will have
this suite is over my lifeless corpse.
83
00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:19,175
Perhaps that will teach you
to insult the proud nation of Monaco.
84
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:25,348
Now, if you will excuse moi, I must go
and find fresh towels and a whore.
85
00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,517
Hey, Benoit,
not too thick on either, okay?
86
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,228
Happy?
Yeah, except for my gun's all soapy.
87
00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,315
Pretty dumb taking a bath with it.
Sterling, I'm warning you.
88
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:36,525
If one red cent of that money
is missing...
89
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,778
...when we make the exchange
with Lachouffe...
90
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:42,198
It won't be. Everything's comped.
Because they expect you to gamble.
91
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,367
Which I'm not going to do. Duh?
92
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:48,788
Mother, I've done this tons of times.
Wha...? With ISIS money?
93
00:04:48,956 --> 00:04:50,289
No.
94
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:52,667
But 4 million seems pretty steep for...
95
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:55,378
What's on that disk, anyway?
None of your beeswax.
96
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,714
And the price is irrelevant,
because you're going to steal it back...
97
00:04:58,882 --> 00:05:00,049
...after the exchange.
98
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,467
Oh.
Duh.
99
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:06,847
And you have to steal it back
because I, um, slightly borrowed it.
100
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,724
Um, slightly from where?
101
00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,476
[BEEPING]
102
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,770
CYRIL:
Huh? What in the world?
103
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,397
Oh, no, no.
104
00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,732
No, no, no.
105
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:18,067
[SHOUTS]
Pam!
106
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:21,696
Also irrelevant, because you're not going
to screw this up, are you?
107
00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:23,572
[MOANS]
108
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,700
No. No, I'm not, Mother.
109
00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,077
You better not.
Oh, my God.
110
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:29,286
Oh, man.
Ah.
111
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:31,080
Ha, ha, oh, that was fun. Thank you.
112
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:35,584
Seriously, not many women could bring me
to orgasm in front of my mother.
113
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,919
I wouldn't think.
114
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:41,382
Four million dollars gone.
Every single account has been wiped out.
115
00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:42,717
All except Miss Archer's.
116
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:47,596
And how does she have
2.3 million damn dollars in her 401 (k)?
117
00:05:47,764 --> 00:05:50,516
Is that a lot?
Maybe not to you, Glenda Gotrocks.
118
00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:53,769
Stop calling me that.
Stop being a fricking jillionaire.
119
00:05:53,937 --> 00:05:55,646
Make me.
Zip it, you two.
120
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,733
Now, we've obviously been the victims
of identity thieves.
121
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:01,444
[LAUGHS]
122
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:02,862
Which is funny why?
123
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:09,326
You think it's just a coincidence Mr. Archer
took $4 million to Monte Carlo?
124
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,037
What?
He took what where?
125
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,955
In bearer bonds, whatever those are.
126
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:16,500
Shit-snacking crackers.
Oh, that thieving bastard.
127
00:06:16,668 --> 00:06:19,170
He's gambling away
our retirement money.
128
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:22,173
ARCHER: What?
Lady luck, monsieur.
129
00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:24,383
She awaits your passionate embrace.
130
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:28,971
I'm kind of passionate-embraced out
right now after the tub-snorkeling.
131
00:06:29,139 --> 00:06:34,602
Oui, in the Jacuzzi of your free suite,
in which monsieur desires to remain.
132
00:06:34,770 --> 00:06:36,479
Uh, yes, yes, he does.
133
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:40,649
Bon. Then I wish you bonne chance.
Oh, shoot. I can't. I don't have any...
134
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,943
...chips. Thanks, Radar.
135
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,529
Uh, okay.
136
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,657
Monsieur, the minimum c'est deux.
137
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:51,827
The minimum is two? Okay, here.
138
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:53,662
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
139
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:55,831
Thanks, Benoit balls. I don't actually...
140
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,249
Banque.
What happened?
141
00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:59,168
What is "bonk"? Does that mean I...?
142
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,878
Lose? Hang on. That was...
143
00:07:01,046 --> 00:07:03,506
Wait, how much are these chips worth?
144
00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,842
Twenty-five grand? Apiece?
Bonne chance.
145
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,887
Hey, hey, hang on. Benoit balls. I...
146
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:12,473
So I need to get that money back.
147
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,810
Shit. Or whatever, merde.
148
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,353
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
149
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:22,066
Okay, what does that mean? Do I...?
Win? Really? Just like that, 50 grand?
150
00:07:22,234 --> 00:07:24,151
All right, let's do that again.
151
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:26,529
[CROUPIER SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
152
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:31,408
Oh, my God, this is like taking candy
from a candy-hating baby.
153
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:34,203
Uh, speaking of candy,
I'm gonna be here a while...
154
00:07:34,371 --> 00:07:37,706
...so bring me a fifth of Glengoolie Black
and a bag of gummi bears.
155
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:39,375
Do you want anything?
156
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:40,876
Gummi bears all around.
157
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,171
I'll eat hers
if she doesn't, uh, have teeth.
158
00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:49,468
Okay. Let's play some goddamn cards.
159
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:54,723
ARCHER: Yes.
CROUPIER: Banque.
160
00:07:54,891 --> 00:07:58,519
No, no, no!
161
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,564
Goddamn it, woman,
wipe that grin off your pie face.
162
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,315
He's killing me.
163
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:04,650
I'm gonna kill you.
No.
164
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,903
Ray, stop it. I can feel a hot streak
coming on. Just give me a...
165
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:11,365
Here, take this.
No, thanks. I'm not thirs... Ow!
166
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:13,951
How much?
Uh, well, it's hard to say, really.
167
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:16,662
Maybe 800,000?
168
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,581
You lost 800 grand?
169
00:08:18,748 --> 00:08:20,207
Oh, no, no, remaining.
170
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:21,792
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
171
00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,836
Here, hold these?
Ray, I said I'm not thirsty.
172
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,045
Unh!
Ow!
173
00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:29,341
Three-point-two million dollars?
I've been really streaky, Ray.
174
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:33,971
I was up for a while, then down,
then up for a really long time, but then...
175
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:38,267
You've only been here 20 minutes.
Wow. Seemed way longer than that.
176
00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:40,394
And I thought you didn't gamble.
I don't.
177
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:41,854
I mean, not since...
178
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,106
I had a really bad experience one time.
179
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:47,610
BOY ARCHER: Um, hit me?
MALORY: Busted.
180
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:51,113
And now all the candy is Mother's...
181
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:52,615
[SOBS]
182
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:54,992
...because crybaby hit on 17 again.
183
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,202
[BURPS]
184
00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:57,786
Like an idiot.
185
00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,288
Why was I dressed as Hitler?
186
00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,790
Why do you do anything you do?
187
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:05,294
Archer, when your mother finds out...
No, Ray, you cannot tell her.
188
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,963
Or Lana. They'll think less of me.
189
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:10,799
And I won't?
I don't care what you think.
190
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:12,968
I'm telling your mother.
Telling her what?
191
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:14,553
Your son...
Shh, shh, shh. No, no.
192
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:15,971
Come on.
193
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,890
Uh...
194
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:19,141
[SIGHS]
195
00:09:19,309 --> 00:09:20,351
Is drunk.
Ah.
196
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,144
Who are you, Carrie Nation?
197
00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:25,648
But, my God, Sterling,
look at your clothes.
198
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,483
Just how drunk are you?
199
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,109
[BURPS]
200
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,320
Oh, for the...
We're meeting Lachouffe in two hours.
201
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,781
I'll clean him up,
try to get some coffee in him.
202
00:09:33,949 --> 00:09:36,283
Make sure that's all you put in him.
Sorry, what?
203
00:09:36,451 --> 00:09:39,411
Keep it in your pants, sister.
Ha-ha-ha.
204
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:41,497
Yeah, yuk it up.
205
00:09:41,665 --> 00:09:45,542
Wow, all these years, I've never
seen Archer, like, "drunk" drunk.
206
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,170
Have you?
Once.
207
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,880
[BARFS]
208
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:53,342
MALORY: Can't play cards, can't drink.
Unh, unh, unh.
209
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:56,637
I don't feel good.
What the hell good are you?
210
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:58,347
Unh. Oh, God.
211
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,182
Why was he dressed as Hitler?
212
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:03,811
Uh, ahem.
Anyhoo... Ooh, I think I see a duke.
213
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:05,020
[CELL PHONE RINGS]
214
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:07,481
Ugh. What?
CYRIL [OVER PHONE]: Nice.
215
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:11,694
Glad you can still be snotty
while Archer's gambling away your 401 (k).
216
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,362
LANA [OVER PHONE]: My what?
Tell her I said hey.
217
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,531
Shut up. And ours too.
218
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:17,616
Everybody's.
But Archer wasn't gambling.
219
00:10:17,784 --> 00:10:20,494
He was just drunk. Aah.
CYRIL: Lana, did you hear me?
220
00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:22,121
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
221
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,664
CYRIL:
I thought you spoke French.
222
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,165
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
223
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,709
Oh, shit!
CYRIL: Lana.
224
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:28,877
PAM [OVER PHONE]:
Cyril, tell...
225
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,839
GILLETTE:
Idiot. Stupid, stupid, stupid idiot.
226
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,258
Look, I said I was sorry.
No, you didn't.
227
00:10:34,426 --> 00:10:37,344
Well, whatever.
I have a plan to get the money back.
228
00:10:37,512 --> 00:10:39,638
Which doesn't include you
taking my toiletries.
229
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,140
You're not using them.
I am.
230
00:10:41,308 --> 00:10:43,642
Look at your pores,
then tell me you're using them.
231
00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:46,020
Then tell me your genius plan.
Rob the casino.
232
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,522
Thanks for the lotion.
Ray, we can do this.
233
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:51,108
Come on,
I've broken into way tougher places, right?
234
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:53,068
Not without my turtleneck, but still...
235
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,404
Do you even know
where the bearer bonds are?
236
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:58,073
Well, no, not exactly, but...
237
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,867
What does it say on the receipt?
238
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,202
Oh, that you didn't get, did you?
No.
239
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:04,371
Do you know
why they're called bearer bonds?
240
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:07,583
Because you're gay?
They're unregistered and untraceable.
241
00:11:07,751 --> 00:11:09,585
And the legal owner of a bearer bond...
242
00:11:09,753 --> 00:11:12,755
...is whatever asshole
physically holds the piece of paper.
243
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:16,258
I don't know why you're so pissed off.
Technically, that money was mine.
244
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:18,010
Wh...? Ugh.
LANA: And mine.
245
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,847
Your money?
And yours, and dickbrain's here.
246
00:11:22,015 --> 00:11:24,600
And Cyril's, and Pam's. Everybody's.
247
00:11:24,768 --> 00:11:28,062
Because your mother's cleaned out
all the ISIS 401 (k) accounts.
248
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:29,605
What?
I have a 401 (k)?
249
00:11:29,773 --> 00:11:30,939
Not anymore.
250
00:11:31,107 --> 00:11:34,401
I had almost 200 grand in there, you...
Oh, okay, that is it.
251
00:11:34,569 --> 00:11:36,528
Down. Ray, put it down, or I swear...
252
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:37,738
[GUN COCKS]
253
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:40,407
Archer, I will put you down.
Well, how am I the bad guy?
254
00:11:40,575 --> 00:11:42,785
Mother's the one
who stole our retirement money.
255
00:11:42,952 --> 00:11:45,412
All I did was foolishly lose it.
256
00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,539
He does have a point.
257
00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:52,461
But why would she pay 4 million bucks
for unverified information?
258
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:54,922
Well, either she's getting Alzheimer's...
Hey.
259
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:58,592
...or she thinks it's another sex tape.
Hey.
260
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,636
Actually, that would not surprise me.
261
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:05,307
Well, whatever's on the disk, Lachouffe
expects $4 million in bearer bonds...
262
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:06,934
...and we only have 1 million.
263
00:12:07,102 --> 00:12:09,269
Um, or 800,000.
264
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:11,105
For which there is no receipt.
265
00:12:11,272 --> 00:12:12,815
Look, Lana, I feel bad enough as it is.
266
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:17,194
Unh, you couldn't feel bad enough.
Shut up, so here's what we're gonna do.
267
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:20,114
We have to keep Malory occupied
while we meet Lachouffe.
268
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,949
She's in the bar, hitting on a duke.
269
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:26,620
I bet you get chilly at night,
all alone in that great big castle.
270
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:27,830
ARCHER:
Ew.
271
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:30,916
LANA: But judging from the way Sir Duke
was eye-banging the waiters...
272
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,126
...I don't think she's gonna have luck.
273
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:34,920
Ray, that's where you come in.
ARCHER: Ew.
274
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:37,965
GILLETTE: Yeah, he's like 1000.
LANA: You're not gonna have sex with him.
275
00:12:38,133 --> 00:12:40,259
GILLETTE: Well, wait, he is a duke.
LANA: No means no.
276
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:43,137
Because you will be making
the exchange with Lachouffe.
277
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,597
ARCHER: But wait, he's expecting Mother.
LANA: Yup.
278
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:46,807
ARCHER & GILLETTE:
Ew.
279
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:49,685
LANA: When Lachouffe realizes
we don't have $4 million in bearer bonds...
280
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,520
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
281
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,063
LANA:
...we'll take out his bodyguards.
282
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:55,524
[GRUNTING]
283
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,279
[LACHOUFFE SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
284
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,488
[GRUNTS]
285
00:13:01,656 --> 00:13:03,449
What the hell does she keep in here,
buckles?
286
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:05,868
Then, having retrieved
your mother's disgusting sex tape...
287
00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:09,913
Uh, allegedly disgusting.
Although, probably disgusting.
288
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,541
- We figure out a way
to get our 401 (k) money back.
289
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,919
Yeah, hi, duh, we just steal
the bearer bonds from the casino.
290
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,965
If they're even in the casino.
Well, where else would they be, Ray?
291
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,217
Taxi. Taxi!
292
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,553
Oh, shit.
293
00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,889
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
294
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:31,226
Well, you better hope they're in the vault.
Ray, hurry up, get changed.
295
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,729
I'm good.
296
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:41,695
ANNOUNCER: It's the second
qualifying round in the Monaco Grand Prix...
297
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:45,407
...and, oh, they're really burning up
the streets of Monte Carlo.
298
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:48,076
Oh, it's just great.
299
00:13:48,286 --> 00:13:49,495
LANA:
This is not at all great.
300
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,915
Why not? They're already tied up,
and we don't even have any rope, so...
301
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,250
And you can have these control tops.
302
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:57,169
No wonder your mother's such a bitch.
303
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,214
Can you not rub your dick
in my mother's pantyhose? Please.
304
00:14:00,381 --> 00:14:02,216
Archer.
What? Lana, look at him.
305
00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,511
Why would somebody tie up the guards?
Duh. So they could rob the...
306
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:06,929
Oh, shit.
307
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,389
[SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
308
00:14:09,557 --> 00:14:10,599
Benoit.
ARCHER: Balls.
309
00:14:10,767 --> 00:14:14,645
[BOTH SPEAK IN FRENCH]
310
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,688
Unh.
How the hell would he know?
311
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:19,191
Oh, right. Desol?e.
312
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,528
Well, he couldn't have gone far
in 10 minutes. It's a zoo out there.
313
00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:24,112
There's a zoo here?
LANA: Wow, okay.
314
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,407
The Grand Prix.
They could have both, Lana.
315
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:29,826
Zoo? Ici?
Go, dumbass.
316
00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:33,914
If we don't get my 401 (k) back, you won't
live long enough to regret you were born.
317
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,166
ARCHER:
That doesn't even make sen... Ow.
318
00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:37,584
[GUNSHOT]
319
00:14:37,752 --> 00:14:39,211
Now, is that bulletproof or what?
320
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,964
Yeah. Yo, I didn't even feel that.
321
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,633
This shit's pretty tight, man.
Oh, I can let it out.
322
00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:48,720
And I can let all this stuff go
for $41,688.
323
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,890
And I'll even throw in the Chokebot.
324
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,143
Krieger, what the hell are you doing?
325
00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:59,731
I'm selling ISIS equipment until I get
every damn cent of my 401 (k) back.
326
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:04,319
Oh, so, uh, hey, how would you guys like
a color copier...
327
00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:07,823
...and about, say, 80 computers
for your clubhouse?
328
00:15:07,991 --> 00:15:10,158
And some blowjobs.
329
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,327
I mean, printers.
330
00:15:12,495 --> 00:15:14,746
LANA: Oh, damn it,
we're never gonna find Benoit.
331
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:19,501
Balls. And we might if you two
would stop being bitches for five seconds.
332
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:22,337
Case in point, Lana. That's...
333
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:23,672
Oh.
334
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,173
Hand over the bag, Benoit.
Balls.
335
00:15:25,341 --> 00:15:28,176
Damn it, that's my line.
Au revoir, suckers!
336
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,012
Benoit!
Balls.
337
00:15:30,179 --> 00:15:32,347
No, the moment's ruined.
We're ruined.
338
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:35,017
How are we supposed to catch him now?
339
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:41,607
Wow, this might be hard to drive
with such a huge, throbbing erection.
340
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,609
[ENGINE WHIRRING]
341
00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:47,112
ARCHER: Woo-hoo!
GILLETTE: Fast racecar!
342
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,699
ANNOUNCER: Well, Dennis,
it's a strange turn of events here...
343
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:53,201
...at the Grand Prix,
because look here now.
344
00:15:53,369 --> 00:15:57,789
Who could believe it?
A woman driving in a Formula One race.
345
00:15:57,957 --> 00:16:00,125
And a Negress at that.
346
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,711
No, you don't see that every day.
347
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:04,379
Or that.
348
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:29,237
He's headed for the coast road.
349
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,530
Hey, thanks, Captain Obvious.
350
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:31,740
[GUNSHOT]
351
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:34,451
Dukes!
Is it obvious he has a gun?
352
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:36,662
Well, yeah, now.
353
00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:40,248
Ha, ha. How do you like those pommes?
354
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:42,668
How do you like them?
355
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:44,920
What the hell are you doing?
356
00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:48,423
Shooting his tires so he loses control
and flies off the cliff.
357
00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:50,008
With the bearer bonds?
358
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:51,551
Yes, Lana, with the...
359
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:53,762
Oh, damn it.
360
00:16:57,058 --> 00:16:59,393
[TRUCK HONKS]
361
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,854
Benoit! Balls.
362
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:04,773
[GRUNTS]
363
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:09,111
That was actually pretty ballsy.
364
00:17:09,278 --> 00:17:10,445
[GRUNTING]
365
00:17:10,613 --> 00:17:13,240
And I never got my swan-shaped towels.
366
00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:16,618
I can't see, you fool! Get off!
367
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,204
I am getting off. I love this.
368
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:21,289
Archer.
Not now, Lana.
369
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:24,418
Yes, now.
Damn it, Lana, I said not...
370
00:17:24,585 --> 00:17:26,294
Oh, shit!
371
00:17:30,508 --> 00:17:31,967
Nice plan, Lana.
372
00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:33,427
Wha...?
373
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,595
[LACHOUFFE SPEAKS IN FRENCH]
374
00:17:35,763 --> 00:17:37,639
[YELPS]
375
00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:41,643
Oh, rocket launcher.
376
00:17:41,811 --> 00:17:45,605
Y'all! Y'all, my car is slowing down
for some unknown reason.
377
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:48,400
Just must be out of carburetor.
378
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,154
LANA:
Archer, look out.
379
00:17:52,780 --> 00:17:56,324
Yeah, an attack helicopter
and a rocket launcher, Lana.
380
00:17:56,492 --> 00:17:58,660
I think I see it.
Not that.
381
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,913
ARCHER:
I see it, Lana.
382
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,833
There's this new thing
called situational awareness.
383
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,334
Great. Tell that to Benoit.
384
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,005
Balls.
Ha-ha-ha.
385
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:11,840
[GRUNTS]
386
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:20,265
[BOTH SCREAM IN FRENCH]
387
00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,187
[SCREAMS]
388
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,813
Archer!
389
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,690
The money. Where's the money?
390
00:18:28,858 --> 00:18:30,025
It's right here, Ray.
391
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:32,068
Uh, and I'm fine, since you asked.
392
00:18:32,236 --> 00:18:33,737
Yeah, I didn't.
Hey, you know what...?
393
00:18:33,905 --> 00:18:35,655
[HELICOPTER AND F-1 CAR EXPLODE]
394
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:40,035
LANA: So guess that's it
for Lachouffe and Benoit.
395
00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:42,871
ARCHER:
Balls. Nailed it.
396
00:18:45,208 --> 00:18:48,710
And speaking of,
you are so lucky this worked out.
397
00:18:48,878 --> 00:18:51,421
Well, you know what they say, Lana,
unlucky at cards...
398
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:54,925
...lucky at a whole shitload
of all kinds of other stuff.
399
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:58,136
Yep, you're the best.
Thank you.
400
00:18:58,846 --> 00:19:02,557
Why are you drinking again?
We're meeting Lachouffe in 10 minutes.
401
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:05,268
Already did.
You...? Oh.
402
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:07,979
And I just assume
I don't wanna know what's on that.
403
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,023
Don't worry, nosey parker, you won't...
404
00:19:10,191 --> 00:19:13,068
...but it's a lot more interesting
than my afternoon.
405
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:16,071
You'd think that duke
had never been with a woman before.
406
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:18,073
Would vomit, too tired.
Oh, shut up.
407
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:21,368
And every dime of that 4 million
better be in that bag.
408
00:19:21,536 --> 00:19:23,370
It is, and while we're on the subject...
409
00:19:23,538 --> 00:19:26,248
Thanks for stealing our 401 (k) money.
I...
410
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:30,585
First of all, if that's my Chanel suit,
I will have your guts for garters.
411
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,878
You need some garters.
412
00:19:32,046 --> 00:19:35,257
And second of all, I didn't steal that money,
I merely borrowed it.
413
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:36,758
Well, just for the record...
414
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:39,928
...I think using our 401 (k)s
as your personal ATM machine...
415
00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,888
...was incredibly lame.
416
00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:44,432
And just for the record, I don't care.
417
00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,270
That being said,
we better hurry up and redeposit this.
418
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:50,313
No telling what those idiots might do...
419
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:53,567
...if they find out
their measly 401 (k)s are missing.
420
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:56,736
Been a real pleasure
doing business with y'all.
421
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:59,447
Especially you, Pam.
Holler!
422
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:02,951
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
423
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:07,539
Uh-huh. All right, peace out.
424
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:13,086
So wait, they're gonna fence all that stuff
and then pay us for it?
425
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,755
Oh, damn it.
Way to go, stupid.
426
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:20,594
Me? Hey, I'm not the one who was
handing out blowjobs like puffy stickers.
427
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:23,054
Oh, shit.
428
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,224
Plus, I gave them all my stickers.
429
00:21:02,428 --> 00:21:03,428
[English - US - PSDH]
430
00:21:03,478 --> 00:21:08,028
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