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1
00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:05,133
* Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played *
2
00:00:05,133 --> 00:00:08,634
* Songs that made
the hit parade *
3
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:11,734
* Guys like us,
we had it made *
4
00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:14,734
* Those were the days *
5
00:00:14,734 --> 00:00:18,701
* And you knew
where you were then *
6
00:00:18,701 --> 00:00:21,968
* Girls were girls,
and men were men *
7
00:00:21,968 --> 00:00:26,934
* Mister, we could use a man
like Herbert Hoover again *
8
00:00:26,934 --> 00:00:30,467
* Didn't need
no welfare state *
9
00:00:30,467 --> 00:00:33,934
* Everybody
pulled his weight *
10
00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:38,534
* Gee, our old LaSalle
ran great *
11
00:00:38,534 --> 00:00:44,501
* Those were the days *
12
00:01:01,734 --> 00:01:03,067
Is he here?
13
00:01:03,067 --> 00:01:04,534
No.
14
00:01:08,267 --> 00:01:09,801
I could swear he was here.
15
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:11,834
The whole joint
stinks like booze.
16
00:01:13,300 --> 00:01:16,000
Oh, you left
your bar apron on.
17
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,100
Ah, God.
18
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:20,534
Well, where the hell is he?
Where is he staying?
19
00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:22,601
Oh, I wrote it down.
20
00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:28,901
"Floyd Mills.
Seven Seas Hotel.
21
00:01:28,901 --> 00:01:31,501
Pier 9 North River."
22
00:01:31,501 --> 00:01:35,200
God, that must be one
of them waterfront dumps,
23
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:39,234
where the sailors come
to make the acquaintance of girls and fleas.
24
00:01:40,501 --> 00:01:44,067
He said he was coming over
in a little while.
25
00:01:45,567 --> 00:01:50,067
I'm afraid he's gonna come
and take Stephie back.
26
00:01:50,067 --> 00:01:52,501
No, no, Edith, please,
don't fall apart, huh?
27
00:01:52,501 --> 00:01:54,067
He's the kid's father,
28
00:01:54,067 --> 00:01:57,033
if he insists on doing that,
we can't stop him.
29
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:58,834
Oh, I--
30
00:01:58,834 --> 00:02:01,267
Edith, Edith, Edith,
if you're gonna cry,
31
00:02:01,267 --> 00:02:03,801
I'm gonna get
a terrible headache.
32
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,133
Hi!
33
00:02:06,133 --> 00:02:07,667
- Oh, look who's here.
- Oh, hi.
34
00:02:07,667 --> 00:02:10,234
Come here
and give me a hug.
35
00:02:10,234 --> 00:02:12,801
Ooh, ooh.
36
00:02:12,801 --> 00:02:15,767
Edith, don't crush
the child, will ya?
37
00:02:15,767 --> 00:02:18,667
When she finally pops out,
she'll pop out wrong.
38
00:02:21,801 --> 00:02:25,467
Amy Bloom's coming over.
We're gonna play football.
39
00:02:25,467 --> 00:02:27,534
Oh, hey, hey, hey,
no football.
40
00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:31,701
Football'll give you
cauliflower elbows.
41
00:02:31,701 --> 00:02:33,734
It's only
a computer game.
42
00:02:33,734 --> 00:02:36,267
Amy got it
for her birthday.
43
00:02:36,267 --> 00:02:38,767
Oh, we're gonna
have company.
44
00:02:38,767 --> 00:02:41,501
Maybe you could
go over to Amy's
45
00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:43,634
and play
at her house, huh?
46
00:02:43,634 --> 00:02:46,334
Yeah, sure, go over and ruin
the Blooms' furniture
47
00:02:46,334 --> 00:02:48,133
for an hour or two.
48
00:02:48,133 --> 00:02:49,701
- Okay.
- Good girl.
49
00:02:49,701 --> 00:02:53,234
Wait a minute!
Give me a kiss. Mwah.
50
00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:57,868
Well, wait a minute,
wait a minute, wait a minute.
51
00:02:57,868 --> 00:02:59,434
What's for me, nothin'?
52
00:02:59,434 --> 00:03:00,667
Yeah. Now, wait.
53
00:03:00,667 --> 00:03:03,067
I think you'd better
go out the back door.
54
00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:04,434
Why?
Amy lives over there.
55
00:03:04,434 --> 00:03:07,767
I know that, but, you know,
just for a change, huh?
56
00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:10,934
Besides, you're
wearin' out the front door.
57
00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:12,033
Okay.
58
00:03:13,667 --> 00:03:15,634
Oh, give me another hug.
59
00:03:17,601 --> 00:03:18,801
You know what?
60
00:03:18,801 --> 00:03:22,367
- What?
- I got a "C" in Arithmetic.
61
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:23,968
Oh...
62
00:03:23,968 --> 00:03:26,467
Oh, Edith, what
do you mean "oh"?
63
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,868
Geez.
64
00:03:27,868 --> 00:03:29,000
A "C" in Arithmetic?
65
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,100
That's a wonderful mark
for a girl.
66
00:03:32,634 --> 00:03:34,234
No, it ain't.
67
00:03:34,234 --> 00:03:36,167
Oh, come on.
Hey, listen, kiddo,
68
00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,734
most important
subject for you is
69
00:03:37,734 --> 00:03:41,300
how to be gorgeous.
70
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,501
Oh, oh, never mind.
71
00:03:43,501 --> 00:03:46,968
You'll do better
next time.
72
00:03:46,968 --> 00:03:48,801
- Good-bye now.
- Bye!
73
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,834
Oh, geez, Edith,
there's that face,
74
00:04:00,834 --> 00:04:02,701
and here comes
that headache.
75
00:04:04,868 --> 00:04:07,901
Oh, don't--
li-listen, listen, Edith.
76
00:04:07,901 --> 00:04:09,501
Why don't we try to look
77
00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:12,634
on the cheerful side of this
whole thing, you know?
78
00:04:12,634 --> 00:04:15,834
I mean, if Floyd takes back
his kid there,
79
00:04:15,834 --> 00:04:18,267
maybe we'll have time
to do a lot of things
80
00:04:18,267 --> 00:04:20,634
we can't do takin' care
of a little girl.
81
00:04:20,634 --> 00:04:22,467
What things?
82
00:04:22,467 --> 00:04:24,868
Well, I was always
promisin' ya
83
00:04:24,868 --> 00:04:27,501
that trip with me
back to Foggia, Italy,
84
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,901
so I could show you
where the Germans shelled our airfield.
85
00:04:30,901 --> 00:04:35,434
You never promised me
no trip to Italy.
86
00:04:35,434 --> 00:04:38,934
Well, it was gonna
be a surprise.
87
00:04:38,934 --> 00:04:42,601
Oh, I don't want to see
no shell holes.
88
00:04:43,701 --> 00:04:46,968
Oh, okay,
the trip's off then.
89
00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:52,667
What are we gonna do, Archie?
90
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,167
[MUTTERS]
91
00:04:54,167 --> 00:04:56,701
Well, listen, I'll tell you
what we better not do.
92
00:04:56,701 --> 00:05:00,501
We better not, you know,
kill all our chickens
93
00:05:00,501 --> 00:05:04,400
before they cross the road.
94
00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:05,400
[DOORBELL RINGS]
95
00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:06,734
- I'll get that.
- That's him.
96
00:05:06,734 --> 00:05:08,501
- Oh, let him in.
- I'll get that.
97
00:05:08,501 --> 00:05:10,534
- I said I would get that.
- No. I open--
98
00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:12,300
I'll get it, Archie.
99
00:05:12,300 --> 00:05:13,934
Why do you
always have to go
100
00:05:13,934 --> 00:05:16,601
lopin' up to the door
like a big dog?
101
00:05:16,601 --> 00:05:17,767
Let me get it.
102
00:05:17,767 --> 00:05:20,167
Sit down in your chair.
103
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:22,501
Calm yourself,
will ya, huh?
104
00:05:22,501 --> 00:05:24,601
Just sit there
and look off in the distance.
105
00:05:24,601 --> 00:05:25,767
What?
106
00:05:25,767 --> 00:05:29,434
Try to look blank.
You're good at that.
107
00:05:29,434 --> 00:05:30,501
Here, this'll help.
108
00:05:30,501 --> 00:05:32,334
Here, do some
sewin' there.
109
00:05:32,334 --> 00:05:34,200
Just let me
handle it, huh?
110
00:05:34,200 --> 00:05:35,634
[DOORBELL RINGS]
111
00:05:35,634 --> 00:05:37,868
Yeah, yeah,
I'm openin' the door for you.
112
00:05:39,834 --> 00:05:42,000
Hi, Arch.
113
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,133
Well, hi there, Floyd.
114
00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:48,801
Well...
you don't look so bad.
115
00:05:48,801 --> 00:05:51,400
Are you still
on the old--hm?
116
00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:54,868
No. I'm sober.
117
00:05:54,868 --> 00:05:57,868
Is that every day
or just today?
118
00:05:57,868 --> 00:06:00,634
Well, I'm--
I'm workin' on it.
119
00:06:00,634 --> 00:06:04,300
Yeah, well, you might
as well come on in,
120
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:06,033
before the neighbors
see you there.
121
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:08,834
- Thank you.
- Look who's here, Edith--Floyd.
122
00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:10,434
- Hello, Floyd.
- How are you?
123
00:06:10,434 --> 00:06:12,033
- It's good to see you.
- Sit down.
124
00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:15,133
Yeah, but not in that chair,
Floyd, over there, huh?
125
00:06:15,133 --> 00:06:16,534
Yeah, right on the sof--
126
00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:19,467
Oh, wait, nope.
Careful of the hat there.
127
00:06:19,467 --> 00:06:21,968
This is one of them
hats that you buy.
128
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,868
Well, uh,
where's Stephie?
129
00:06:27,868 --> 00:06:29,834
Oh, she's up
in Connecticut.
130
00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:34,000
She's at the Blooms'
across the street.
131
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,834
Oh, she got back
already, huh?
132
00:06:38,868 --> 00:06:41,067
Well, well, well, so...
133
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:43,634
So what's
new there, Floyd?
134
00:06:43,634 --> 00:06:46,367
Well, it's been
a long time, Arch.
135
00:06:46,367 --> 00:06:48,400
It's been swell, Floyd.
136
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:52,601
I guess Edith told you
we had a little talk.
137
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:54,067
No, she didn't
tell me nothin'.
138
00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:55,467
She's been busy all day
139
00:06:55,467 --> 00:06:57,534
sewin' clothes
for the child there.
140
00:06:57,534 --> 00:07:00,300
Hold up some sewin'
there, Edith.
141
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,734
Perfect.
142
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:08,601
Well, Floyd, so,
tell me, um...
143
00:07:08,601 --> 00:07:11,567
Uh, what do you want?
144
00:07:11,567 --> 00:07:15,300
Well, Arch, I've been
doin' a lot of thinkin',
145
00:07:15,300 --> 00:07:18,567
and I came here to say...
146
00:07:18,567 --> 00:07:21,234
m-maybe Stephie
should stay with you
147
00:07:21,234 --> 00:07:23,300
till I'm better able
to take care of her.
148
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:26,033
- Oh, Floyd.
- Oh, wow, did you hear that?
149
00:07:26,033 --> 00:07:29,200
- That's just
what we wanted to hear! - Oh, yes.
150
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:31,901
I mean, we love havin'
Stephie like that.
151
00:07:31,901 --> 00:07:34,534
- Right, Archie?
- Oh, hey, certainly. That's wonderful.
152
00:07:34,534 --> 00:07:37,267
Hey, that--that's
great, you know.
153
00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:41,601
A father like that
makin' a sacrifice for his child there.
154
00:07:41,601 --> 00:07:42,834
- Oh, sure.
- Oh, hey, hey.
155
00:07:42,834 --> 00:07:44,968
Let's have
a drink on that.
156
00:07:44,968 --> 00:07:46,534
- No, no.
- No booze.
157
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:51,200
What? Come on, he can use
self-control tomorrow there.
158
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,400
Wait a minute, Arch.
159
00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:55,834
I want to make myself...
160
00:07:55,834 --> 00:07:59,934
presentable, so I can
look around for a job.
161
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:03,868
Hey, I seen by the paper
they're pickin' bananas in Brazil.
162
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,734
And them Indians down there,
163
00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:10,501
they don't care
what you look like.
164
00:08:10,501 --> 00:08:13,133
Arch...
165
00:08:13,133 --> 00:08:14,767
I need a little cash.
166
00:08:21,133 --> 00:08:24,434
Uh...how little, Floyd?
167
00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:27,968
A thousand bucks.
168
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:34,767
Uh...I want to make sure
I heard that--how much?
169
00:08:34,767 --> 00:08:38,133
A thousand dollars.
170
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:40,133
I need it.
171
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:43,100
In cash.
172
00:08:43,100 --> 00:08:44,601
Or I'll take her back.
173
00:08:44,601 --> 00:08:47,801
And I ain't kiddin',
Archie.
174
00:08:47,801 --> 00:08:52,000
But we ain't got
$1,000 in the house.
175
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,167
Well, get it.
176
00:08:57,901 --> 00:09:00,934
You know
where I'm at.
177
00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:02,868
I want to hear
from you today.
178
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,734
Archie, I ain't goin' down
179
00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:34,300
to that hotel tonight
and hand her over.
180
00:09:34,300 --> 00:09:37,801
Well, I ain't goin'
down to that hotel tonight
181
00:09:37,801 --> 00:09:40,534
and hand over $1,000.
182
00:09:40,534 --> 00:09:42,067
'Cause I want to
tell you somethin',
183
00:09:42,067 --> 00:09:43,567
it wouldn't be
the last time.
184
00:09:43,567 --> 00:09:46,534
That guy ain't
gonna be satisfied with no $1,000.
185
00:09:46,534 --> 00:09:50,067
Geez, he'll keep comin'
back and back and back,
186
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,901
like a "chronicle" rash.
187
00:09:56,901 --> 00:09:59,367
What the hell are you
doin' over there?
188
00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:02,767
I'm waterin' my fern.
189
00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,167
When did you get that?
190
00:10:06,167 --> 00:10:11,434
Oh, this was
nine years old last week.
191
00:10:11,434 --> 00:10:13,834
Oh, Lord,
192
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:15,300
did you know
that damn thing
193
00:10:15,300 --> 00:10:17,400
was over in the corner
for nine years?
194
00:10:18,934 --> 00:10:21,734
Of course.
We all knew.
195
00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:25,834
Well, let it die,
will ya, Edith?
196
00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:29,501
I don't trust plants
inside the house.
197
00:10:29,501 --> 00:10:33,801
They suck up all your precious
carbon "monoxygen" there.
198
00:10:35,167 --> 00:10:39,400
No wonder I always been
short-winded in this room.
199
00:10:41,634 --> 00:10:44,601
I never noticed you was.
200
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:48,868
I'm home! Where's
the chocolate cake?
201
00:10:48,868 --> 00:10:51,467
In the refrigerator.
202
00:10:51,467 --> 00:10:53,968
Get me a beer while you're
out there, huh?
203
00:10:53,968 --> 00:10:56,534
Okay!
204
00:10:56,534 --> 00:10:58,634
Oh. Ohh!
205
00:10:59,901 --> 00:11:02,267
Ohhh.
206
00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:05,300
Oh, there's that face
again, Edith,
207
00:11:05,300 --> 00:11:07,868
and here comes the headache.
208
00:11:07,868 --> 00:11:11,100
Oh, Archie...
209
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:14,000
Do you think Stephie
210
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:18,033
would like to live
with her father again?
211
00:11:18,033 --> 00:11:21,501
Edith, you asked the kid
that question at least once,
212
00:11:21,501 --> 00:11:23,367
and she told you no.
213
00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:26,400
But I'd like to know
214
00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:30,667
what she's feelin'
deep down inside.
215
00:11:30,667 --> 00:11:33,267
Come on,
ten-year-old kids,
216
00:11:33,267 --> 00:11:37,167
they don't feel nothin'
deep down inside but junk food.
217
00:11:39,234 --> 00:11:41,033
Here's your beer,
Uncle Archie!
218
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,200
Yeah, give it.
219
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,133
Aah, geez!
220
00:11:51,601 --> 00:11:53,968
You'll never know
how much that hurts.
221
00:11:56,601 --> 00:12:01,501
Why don't we ask Stephie?
It's her life.
222
00:12:01,501 --> 00:12:05,167
It ain't her life
until she's 18 years of age.
223
00:12:05,167 --> 00:12:06,367
Now, don't ask.
224
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:07,467
Stephie--
225
00:12:07,467 --> 00:12:09,334
So she asks anyway.
226
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:17,067
If your father was to walk
through that door right now
227
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:22,467
and say, "Stephie,
I've come to take you back,"
228
00:12:22,467 --> 00:12:25,300
what would you say?
229
00:12:36,367 --> 00:12:39,534
I'd say I couldn't now.
230
00:12:39,534 --> 00:12:42,501
I got my school term
to finish,
231
00:12:42,501 --> 00:12:46,767
Amy Bloom wants me
to go backpacking with her this summer,
232
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:50,033
and I'm a relief pitcher
for Little League.
233
00:12:53,267 --> 00:12:54,968
That's nice.
234
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:58,634
Why did you ask me for?
235
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,501
Why did she ask me?
236
00:13:05,501 --> 00:13:09,100
Uh...nobody knows.
237
00:13:10,968 --> 00:13:14,267
I'd better
go do my homework.
238
00:13:14,267 --> 00:13:17,067
Yeah. Why don't you go
and do that?
239
00:13:31,834 --> 00:13:35,033
Well, I know how we
oughta handle this thing.
240
00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:36,667
We oughta go
to Floyd and say,
241
00:13:36,667 --> 00:13:38,534
"Here, Floyd, here's
your kid, take her."
242
00:13:39,834 --> 00:13:42,467
Oh, Archie, no.
243
00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:45,767
Edith, he ain't
gonna take her.
244
00:13:45,767 --> 00:13:49,501
She'd knock the hell out
of his booze buzzes.
245
00:13:49,501 --> 00:13:51,734
I'm sayin' we oughta
call his bluff,
246
00:13:51,734 --> 00:13:54,334
we oughta march
right in there tonight,
247
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:57,901
and say,
"Here she is, take her, we don't want her."
248
00:13:57,901 --> 00:14:00,067
But that's a lie.
249
00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:01,734
Of course--
250
00:14:01,734 --> 00:14:04,334
[LOWERING HIS VOICE]
Geez, of course it's a lie, Edith.
251
00:14:04,334 --> 00:14:05,734
Why do you think
there's always
252
00:14:05,734 --> 00:14:06,934
somethin' wrong with lies?
253
00:14:06,934 --> 00:14:10,234
Sometimes lies are good,
don't you know that?
254
00:14:10,234 --> 00:14:12,868
Don't you know
that this misfortunate world
255
00:14:12,868 --> 00:14:16,033
simply cannot
go on without lies?
256
00:14:16,033 --> 00:14:17,501
Huh, Edith?
257
00:14:17,501 --> 00:14:20,868
I mean, lies is what holds
families together.
258
00:14:24,033 --> 00:14:27,067
Lies is--
is the basics of, uh,
259
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:32,234
of all civilized
"humanical"relationships.
260
00:14:32,234 --> 00:14:37,400
But what if he ain't bluffin',
what if he takes her?
261
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:41,300
Edith, look at me.
Look at me, will ya?
262
00:14:41,300 --> 00:14:43,501
I'm lookin' at you.
263
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:49,734
Oh, yeah.
264
00:14:49,734 --> 00:14:52,067
Edith...
265
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:55,801
have you ever known me
to be wrong about anything?
266
00:14:58,534 --> 00:14:59,567
Yeah.
267
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:03,701
I mean about anything
important, like this.
268
00:15:05,501 --> 00:15:06,634
Yeah.
269
00:15:08,234 --> 00:15:10,200
I mean lately.
270
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:12,400
Yeah.
271
00:15:14,300 --> 00:15:17,901
Why can't you once
get behind me?
272
00:15:17,901 --> 00:15:20,300
Once in 28 years.
273
00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:21,234
Thirty.
274
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,300
That's a dollar an hour
for the room.
275
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:46,734
You want a bath,
that's 50 cents extra.
276
00:15:46,734 --> 00:15:48,334
No, thanks.
277
00:15:48,334 --> 00:15:50,901
We bathed earlier.
278
00:16:02,767 --> 00:16:05,033
Oh, Archie,
don't do that.
279
00:16:05,033 --> 00:16:09,501
Leave me alone.
I'm tryin' to get used to the joint by degrees.
280
00:16:10,934 --> 00:16:13,267
Good evening.
281
00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:15,601
Hi, good evening.
282
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,868
All night or just
a fraction thereof?
283
00:16:20,701 --> 00:16:24,067
We ain't interested
in sex, pal, we're married.
284
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:27,267
Got a guy named Floyd Mills
registered here?
285
00:16:27,267 --> 00:16:30,300
Archie, Edith.
286
00:16:30,300 --> 00:16:31,634
- Hello.
- Oh, you're here.
287
00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:32,901
Hey, look,
Archie, I'm sorry
288
00:16:32,901 --> 00:16:35,400
I had to bring you down
to a place like this.
289
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,901
Well, we had to walk
the last couple of blocks.
290
00:16:37,901 --> 00:16:39,734
Our cab driver
chickened out.
291
00:16:41,133 --> 00:16:42,701
Well, let's
sit down and talk.
292
00:16:42,701 --> 00:16:44,834
- Yeah, sure, sit down.
- How about over there?
293
00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:46,133
Yeah, fine, fine.
294
00:16:46,133 --> 00:16:49,934
I'll sit over here.
[CLEARS THROAT]
295
00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:53,267
Hey, buddy, there's
an unconscious guy layin' in the alley.
296
00:16:53,267 --> 00:16:55,601
I think he's got
money on him.
297
00:16:55,601 --> 00:16:56,667
Ooh, thanks.
298
00:16:59,734 --> 00:17:03,367
I--I'll sit here.
299
00:17:03,367 --> 00:17:07,234
Hey, dogs off
of the davenport, Mac, huh?
300
00:17:07,234 --> 00:17:08,234
Sit down, Edith.
301
00:17:09,734 --> 00:17:13,934
Go on, even a scorpion
couldn't live in that furniture.
302
00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:19,334
Oh, Floyd,
I have to start with...
303
00:17:22,067 --> 00:17:23,968
Why don't you go to sleep
304
00:17:23,968 --> 00:17:27,367
and dream about the tragedy
which is your life?
305
00:17:29,567 --> 00:17:32,367
Let me cut to the soul
of this here, Floyd, huh?
306
00:17:32,367 --> 00:17:34,467
I mean, as regards
your daughter.
307
00:17:34,467 --> 00:17:39,367
As I understand it,
you want to sell me the kid.
308
00:17:39,367 --> 00:17:41,801
C'mon, Arch.
I didn't say "sell."
309
00:17:41,801 --> 00:17:45,033
Well, what do you want to say,
rent or lease, what?
310
00:17:45,033 --> 00:17:46,534
You don't have to
put it that way.
311
00:17:46,534 --> 00:17:48,834
Well, how the hell
do you wanna put it?
312
00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:51,701
Well, let's call it a loan.
313
00:17:51,701 --> 00:17:54,000
A loan.
Well, am I loaning you money,
314
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,501
or are you loaning me a kid?
315
00:17:55,501 --> 00:17:57,434
You're loaning me money?
316
00:17:57,434 --> 00:18:00,868
Well, then you must be
leaving the kid as security there
317
00:18:00,868 --> 00:18:04,267
like a old car
or a watch or something.
318
00:18:04,267 --> 00:18:07,801
Oh, oh, Archie, I don't
think he means that.
319
00:18:07,801 --> 00:18:09,834
Then what the hell
does he mean?!
320
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:11,400
It's--it's just
321
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,934
that I have to go someplace
and dry out, Archie.
322
00:18:15,367 --> 00:18:19,901
Geez, for $1,000, you must
be really soakin' wet.
323
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,567
That's what I need.
324
00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,334
Well, you ain't
gonna get it.
325
00:18:25,334 --> 00:18:30,267
Okay, then we, uh...
we can shave it a little.
326
00:18:30,267 --> 00:18:33,167
Say, 750.
We're family, right?
327
00:18:34,601 --> 00:18:35,767
You hear that, Edith?
328
00:18:35,767 --> 00:18:39,234
He's offerin' us
the family rate.
329
00:18:39,234 --> 00:18:40,400
I'd grab it.
330
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,634
Oh, yeah.
You're right. Thank you.
331
00:18:45,634 --> 00:18:47,767
Let's grab it,
Archie.
332
00:18:50,133 --> 00:18:53,133
Why don't you grab
the Concorde for Paris?
333
00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:59,033
What do you mean,
"let's grab it" here?
334
00:18:59,033 --> 00:19:04,167
He's the grabber.
We're only the grabbees.
335
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:06,000
Well, I'll tell you what,
Floyd.
336
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,434
Grab this.
337
00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:11,400
'Cause that's all
you're gonna get.
338
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,567
Nothin'. Zilch.
339
00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:14,200
No, Archie, please.
340
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,067
Stay out
of this thing here.
341
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:17,901
Okay, then I'll take the kid.
342
00:19:17,901 --> 00:19:19,033
Go ahead and take her.
343
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:20,267
- Stay out of this.
- No, Archie.
344
00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:21,868
Go on, go on
and take her.
345
00:19:21,868 --> 00:19:22,868
I don't want her.
346
00:19:22,868 --> 00:19:24,300
Hey, I don't even like her.
347
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:28,267
The two of us, we're fed up
to the ears with that kid.
348
00:19:28,267 --> 00:19:30,868
You know something?
She eats like a horse...
349
00:19:30,868 --> 00:19:33,334
three times a day.
350
00:19:33,334 --> 00:19:37,067
I bet if that kid
weighs 60 pounds, that 40 of it's ours.
351
00:19:37,067 --> 00:19:40,000
So go on and take her.
I got no use for her there.
352
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,434
She ain't even a boy.
353
00:19:43,267 --> 00:19:45,567
Okay, Archie, if that's
the way you feel about it,
354
00:19:45,567 --> 00:19:47,400
then I'll pick her up
in the morning.
355
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,634
- Do that!
- Yeah, she'll stay with me.
356
00:19:49,634 --> 00:19:50,767
You mean here?
357
00:19:50,767 --> 00:19:51,801
Yeah, that's right.
358
00:19:51,801 --> 00:19:53,200
I don't guess
the guys will mind
359
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,868
if I put an extra bunk
in our room.
360
00:19:55,868 --> 00:19:57,834
No, no, that
settles it, right?
361
00:19:57,834 --> 00:20:00,334
- No, no, wait a minute, Floyd!
- Cool it, cool it, Edith.
362
00:20:00,334 --> 00:20:02,534
Don't settle it, Floyd,
you're her father.
363
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,834
You gotta think
about what's best for her.
364
00:20:04,834 --> 00:20:06,968
She don't belong here.
365
00:20:06,968 --> 00:20:10,334
Floyd, I know
that you love her,
366
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:13,834
but you ain't able
to take care of her just now, and we are,
367
00:20:13,834 --> 00:20:15,567
and that's
what's important.
368
00:20:15,567 --> 00:20:18,701
I mean, you gotta
leave her with us.
369
00:20:22,667 --> 00:20:25,868
Yes.
Maybe you're right.
370
00:20:28,167 --> 00:20:30,000
I guess a man
don't think too clear
371
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,067
when his head's
all soaked with booze.
372
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:35,601
You know, before I...
373
00:20:35,601 --> 00:20:38,534
rang your bell
this afternoon,
374
00:20:38,534 --> 00:20:42,167
I looked in the window...
375
00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:44,901
and I saw
Stephie kissin' you,
376
00:20:44,901 --> 00:20:46,767
and you kissin' her.
377
00:20:48,968 --> 00:20:50,667
She looks so happy.
378
00:20:52,634 --> 00:20:57,234
And I'd like her
to stay that way...
379
00:20:57,234 --> 00:20:59,234
so let's make it 500.
380
00:21:01,300 --> 00:21:03,801
Floyd, I oughta knock
your block off!
381
00:21:03,801 --> 00:21:05,734
Oh, no, no!
382
00:21:05,734 --> 00:21:08,467
Come on, let's get
the hell out of here.
383
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,834
I ain't givin' you
no $500!
384
00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:14,467
You could give him the $100
you brought with you.
385
00:21:14,467 --> 00:21:15,567
You blew it.
386
00:21:17,601 --> 00:21:20,133
$100 will do
just fine, Arch.
387
00:21:20,133 --> 00:21:22,100
You see what I mean?
388
00:21:22,100 --> 00:21:25,400
Archie, please,
give him the money.
389
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,234
Edith!
390
00:21:30,367 --> 00:21:31,834
Ugh.
391
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:35,033
Here.
392
00:21:35,033 --> 00:21:38,167
40...60, 80,
and 100.
393
00:21:38,167 --> 00:21:39,901
Go on and count it.
394
00:21:41,367 --> 00:21:44,634
I want you to stay away
from my house from now on.
395
00:21:44,634 --> 00:21:45,801
Even for that much,
396
00:21:45,801 --> 00:21:47,767
I'm gonna have to sell
a river of beer.
397
00:21:53,767 --> 00:21:56,033
You take good care
of my kid.
398
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:07,734
Why did you have
to open up your bazoo?
399
00:22:10,434 --> 00:22:13,601
Why didn't you give me
a chance to bargain with that bum?
400
00:22:13,601 --> 00:22:16,934
I'm sure we could have got
that child for $20.
401
00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:23,367
He needs
the money, Archie.
402
00:22:23,367 --> 00:22:25,534
Oh, come on, Edith.
Needs it.
403
00:22:25,534 --> 00:22:29,367
So do all these other
gentlemen of leisure flappin' around here.
404
00:22:31,701 --> 00:22:33,200
It's all right, though.
405
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:34,868
I don't blame you,
it's my fault.
406
00:22:36,634 --> 00:22:39,367
There was a smarter way
of handlin' all of this, I'm sure,
407
00:22:39,367 --> 00:22:42,100
but I was too much
of a dope to figure it out.
408
00:22:42,100 --> 00:22:45,300
Oh, Archie...
409
00:22:45,300 --> 00:22:49,267
I love you
even if you are a dope.
410
00:22:51,100 --> 00:22:52,501
Edith...
411
00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:53,934
Oh, geez.
412
00:22:53,934 --> 00:22:55,968
Now, come on,
let's go home.
413
00:22:55,968 --> 00:22:57,334
Wait a minute,
wait a minute.
414
00:22:57,334 --> 00:22:59,734
You love me
that much, huh?
415
00:22:59,734 --> 00:23:02,033
Well, sure.
416
00:23:02,033 --> 00:23:06,901
You know,
I think if we could, uh, get a can of flea powder,
417
00:23:06,901 --> 00:23:09,100
we could register here
for an hour.
418
00:23:15,167 --> 00:23:18,701
Oh, oh, Archie, come on!
419
00:23:18,701 --> 00:23:23,734
What is the matter with you,
Edith Baines Bunker, huh?
420
00:23:23,734 --> 00:23:26,133
You lose all your
"spontanooity"?
421
00:23:27,834 --> 00:23:30,400
Oh, Archie.
422
00:23:53,067 --> 00:23:54,667
[***]
423
00:24:12,167 --> 00:24:14,634
All in the Family wasplayed to a studio audience
424
00:24:14,634 --> 00:24:16,567
for live responses.
425
00:24:16,617 --> 00:24:21,167
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