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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:04,801 ♪ Boy, the way Glenn Miller played ♪ 2 00:00:04,801 --> 00:00:07,934 ♪ Songs that made the hit parade ♪ 3 00:00:07,934 --> 00:00:11,100 ♪ Guys like us we had it made ♪ 4 00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,734 ♪ Those were the days ♪ 5 00:00:13,734 --> 00:00:17,267 ♪ And you knew where you were then ♪ 6 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:20,434 ♪ Girls were girls and men were men ♪ 7 00:00:20,434 --> 00:00:22,634 ♪ Mister, we could use a man ♪ 8 00:00:22,634 --> 00:00:25,601 ♪ Like Herbert Hoover again ♪ 9 00:00:25,601 --> 00:00:28,767 ♪ Didn't need no welfare state ♪ 10 00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,534 ♪ Everybody pulled his weight ♪ 11 00:00:31,534 --> 00:00:35,801 ♪ Gee, our old LaSalle ran great ♪ 12 00:00:35,801 --> 00:00:41,868 ♪ Those were the days ♪ 13 00:00:45,434 --> 00:00:49,534 That's not how you say it. It's a tee-ruck. A truck. 14 00:00:49,534 --> 00:00:51,734 Shh. Don't talk so loud. 15 00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:53,334 Archie's asleep. 16 00:00:53,334 --> 00:00:56,801 He worked at the saloon till all hours last night. 17 00:00:56,801 --> 00:01:00,200 He didn't get home until five o'clock this morning. 18 00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,767 I was sound asleep. 19 00:01:01,767 --> 00:01:04,000 Then how'd you know what time it was? 20 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,601 Oh, Archie always wakes me up 21 00:01:06,601 --> 00:01:10,434 to tell me it's only him getting into bed with me. 22 00:01:11,701 --> 00:01:13,501 That's considerate. 23 00:01:13,501 --> 00:01:15,133 Oh, I don't mind. 24 00:01:15,133 --> 00:01:18,033 Sometimes I'm in the middle of a bad dream 25 00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:20,968 and that gets me out of it. 26 00:01:20,968 --> 00:01:24,334 Yeah, but what if you were having a dream about... 27 00:01:25,567 --> 00:01:27,634 Paul Newman? 28 00:01:29,667 --> 00:01:32,501 Oh... 29 00:01:32,501 --> 00:01:34,133 Oh! 30 00:01:34,133 --> 00:01:36,000 Ohh. 31 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:39,400 I don't have dreams like that. 32 00:01:39,400 --> 00:01:40,767 Often. 33 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:44,100 Mailgram for Gloria Stivic! 34 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:45,901 Mailgram for Gloria Stivic! 35 00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:48,133 The impact of a telegram at a fraction of the cost. 36 00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,467 Quiet. Shh! 37 00:01:49,467 --> 00:01:50,968 Why are you shushin' me? 38 00:01:50,968 --> 00:01:52,267 Archie's asleep. 39 00:01:52,267 --> 00:01:54,267 He is like hell. 40 00:01:54,267 --> 00:01:56,400 Oh, Arch, did I wake you up? I'm sorry. 41 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:58,501 Think nothing of it, meathead. 42 00:01:58,501 --> 00:02:02,267 A few brief winks a night is all a workin' man needs. 43 00:02:02,267 --> 00:02:05,868 Oh, Archie, you better go back to sleep. 44 00:02:05,868 --> 00:02:08,334 I'll make you a nice, hot cup of cocoa. 45 00:02:08,334 --> 00:02:10,701 Cocoa gives me gas. 46 00:02:10,701 --> 00:02:12,968 Oh! Cocoa will make you sleep. 47 00:02:12,968 --> 00:02:15,734 You want me to sleep with gas? 48 00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:21,167 Gloria, who's the mailgram from? 49 00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:23,567 It's from my old friend Debbie Ballantine. 50 00:02:23,567 --> 00:02:25,400 Did I hear Debbie Ballantine? 51 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:26,667 Yeah. 52 00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:29,801 I never liked her and I always will. 53 00:02:29,801 --> 00:02:32,100 She just had another baby. 54 00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:35,701 Debbie Ballantine had another baby?! 55 00:02:35,701 --> 00:02:38,601 What does that make, four or five? 56 00:02:38,601 --> 00:02:39,801 Six. 57 00:02:39,801 --> 00:02:43,467 Oh, my! Somewhere along the line, 58 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:46,567 I lost a whole baby. 59 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,367 Somewhere along the line, 60 00:02:49,367 --> 00:02:53,200 did Debbie ever pick herself up a husband? 61 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,234 Who's Debbie Ballantine? 62 00:02:55,234 --> 00:02:59,200 She's the mother of a kindergarten in Woodside. 63 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,033 Honey, you gotta remember her. 64 00:03:02,033 --> 00:03:03,467 If it wasn't for Debbie, 65 00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,367 you and I would never have met. 66 00:03:05,367 --> 00:03:07,767 That's another reason I'll never like her. 67 00:03:07,767 --> 00:03:09,601 Don't you remember her? 68 00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:11,167 He don't remember nothin' 69 00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:13,601 from the past exceptin' meals. 70 00:03:13,601 --> 00:03:16,534 Ma and Daddy went to visit Aunt Iola. 71 00:03:16,534 --> 00:03:19,200 Who was supposed to be dyin' again. 72 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:20,934 Anyway, that left me alone 73 00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,734 here in the house for the whole weekend, 74 00:03:22,734 --> 00:03:25,467 so I had my friend Debbie come over and stay with me. 75 00:03:25,467 --> 00:03:29,934 It's hard to believe that was nine years ago... 76 00:03:29,934 --> 00:03:33,367 Ah, Edith, I ain't in the mood for this. 77 00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:34,801 Do we have to go over 78 00:03:34,801 --> 00:03:36,634 and see your aunt Iola today? 79 00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:42,434 Oh, Archie, she may not be alive tomorrow. 80 00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:46,367 So we could have a nice, quiet visit over there. 81 00:03:47,501 --> 00:03:51,667 Oh, Archie. Oh, be nice. 82 00:03:51,667 --> 00:03:54,133 That poor, sweet old lady 83 00:03:54,133 --> 00:03:55,968 is at death's door. 84 00:03:55,968 --> 00:03:57,501 Ah, come on, Edith. 85 00:03:57,501 --> 00:03:58,701 For the last ten years 86 00:03:58,701 --> 00:04:00,968 she's been at death's door, 87 00:04:00,968 --> 00:04:03,567 but she never knocks or rings the bell 88 00:04:03,567 --> 00:04:06,033 or makes an honest effort to get in there. 89 00:04:07,767 --> 00:04:11,100 Gloria! Debbie! We're going! 90 00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:13,234 Oh, okay, Ma. 91 00:04:13,234 --> 00:04:15,467 Bye. 92 00:04:15,467 --> 00:04:16,934 Give Aunt Iola my love. 93 00:04:16,934 --> 00:04:18,234 Bye, Daddy. 94 00:04:18,234 --> 00:04:19,701 Why aren't you smiling? 95 00:04:19,701 --> 00:04:21,534 You aren't goin' to a funeral. 96 00:04:21,534 --> 00:04:23,167 That's why I ain't smilin'. 97 00:04:24,534 --> 00:04:25,801 - Bye, Ma. - Bye, dear. 98 00:04:25,801 --> 00:04:27,167 Oh, geez, Edith. 99 00:04:27,167 --> 00:04:29,400 What the hell you got in this bag here? 100 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,667 - Bricks? - No. Marmalade. 101 00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:35,367 Aunt Iola loves my marmalade. 102 00:04:35,367 --> 00:04:37,534 I'm takin' her 12 jars. 103 00:04:37,534 --> 00:04:39,400 Oh, ain't that nice? 104 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,200 I'll tell you one thing, I ain't gonna lug this back to New York. 105 00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:43,868 If Iola dies over there, 106 00:04:43,868 --> 00:04:46,200 the marmalade gets buried with her. 107 00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:48,901 Bye, Ma! 108 00:04:48,901 --> 00:04:50,200 Oh, good-bye now. 109 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:53,234 You girls have a nice time studyin'. 110 00:04:53,234 --> 00:04:54,300 Good-bye, Daddy. 111 00:04:54,300 --> 00:04:55,367 Your mother told youse-- 112 00:04:55,367 --> 00:04:57,000 be good girls, now. 113 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,234 BOTH: We will! 114 00:04:59,234 --> 00:05:00,834 Now let's get a couple of guys 115 00:05:00,834 --> 00:05:02,300 and tell them to come over. 116 00:05:02,300 --> 00:05:04,167 No, Debbie, I don't think 117 00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,234 we should have boys over here. 118 00:05:06,234 --> 00:05:08,501 I promised my parents that we'd study. 119 00:05:08,501 --> 00:05:10,133 And besides, there's nothing excitin' 120 00:05:10,133 --> 00:05:11,634 goin' on over here. 121 00:05:11,634 --> 00:05:13,501 There will be. 122 00:05:13,501 --> 00:05:15,234 Oh? 123 00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:17,634 Oh! 124 00:05:17,634 --> 00:05:20,000 Ohhh!! 125 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,467 No, I don't think 126 00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:23,200 we should have boys over. 127 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,000 Are you afraid to have boys over here? 128 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,501 Nah, course not. 129 00:05:27,501 --> 00:05:29,267 What's the matter, then? 130 00:05:29,267 --> 00:05:30,734 I don't know. 131 00:05:30,734 --> 00:05:33,267 What would we do when the boys get here? 132 00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:39,000 Gloria...are you still a virgin? 133 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,734 Well, uh... 134 00:05:41,734 --> 00:05:42,934 Um... 135 00:05:42,934 --> 00:05:44,734 Don't you remember? 136 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:50,100 It's not my fault, see. 137 00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,567 It's my parents. 138 00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:54,767 They're virgins? 139 00:05:54,767 --> 00:05:58,400 Of course not! 140 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,033 It's just that my father thinks 141 00:06:01,033 --> 00:06:04,167 that a girl shouldn't have [WHISPERS] sex 142 00:06:04,167 --> 00:06:05,868 until after she's married, 143 00:06:05,868 --> 00:06:10,200 and even then, only when it's absolutely necessary. 144 00:06:12,167 --> 00:06:15,667 It's just that my father thinks that it's okay 145 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:18,000 for men to have [WHISPERS] sex, 146 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:20,734 but it's not okay for women. 147 00:06:20,734 --> 00:06:26,100 Well, who are the men supposed to have [WHISPERS] sex with? 148 00:06:29,467 --> 00:06:33,200 I don't think he's thought it through that far. 149 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,634 I'm thirsty. 150 00:06:34,634 --> 00:06:35,868 Look, Gloria, 151 00:06:35,868 --> 00:06:37,601 I just met this guy who says 152 00:06:37,601 --> 00:06:39,701 he's got a groovy new roommate. 153 00:06:39,701 --> 00:06:42,067 A roommate? What do you mean, roommate? 154 00:06:42,067 --> 00:06:44,133 They're college men. 155 00:06:44,133 --> 00:06:45,934 College men? 156 00:06:45,934 --> 00:06:48,501 Oh, my God! 157 00:06:48,501 --> 00:06:50,367 Oh, I don't know, Debbie. 158 00:06:50,367 --> 00:06:53,033 I mean, I've heard how these college men are. 159 00:06:53,033 --> 00:06:56,734 Well, that's why we want them to come over here. 160 00:06:56,734 --> 00:06:58,434 Oh, my God. 161 00:06:59,701 --> 00:07:02,033 Look, you'll probably love Jim's roommate. 162 00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:03,534 Oh, yeah? What's he like? 163 00:07:03,534 --> 00:07:04,834 Oh, he's swell. 164 00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:06,968 I hear he's from outside of Chicago. 165 00:07:08,334 --> 00:07:10,667 Outside Chicago?! 166 00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:13,300 Wow! He sounds terrific. 167 00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:15,968 What do you say, Gloria? 168 00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,267 Should I call 'em over? 169 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:21,100 Well, all right. 170 00:07:21,100 --> 00:07:22,801 What have I got to lose? 171 00:07:22,801 --> 00:07:24,601 Forget I said that. 172 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,801 But you know, wait a minute, Debbie. 173 00:07:27,801 --> 00:07:29,701 What if I don't like him? 174 00:07:29,701 --> 00:07:31,167 Well, um... 175 00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,968 just give me a signal. 176 00:07:32,968 --> 00:07:34,300 Oh, okay. 177 00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,767 If I don't like him, 178 00:07:35,767 --> 00:07:38,000 I...will... 179 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,000 pull on my ear like Carol Burnett. 180 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,367 - Okay. - Okay. 181 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,033 - Oh, my God! - What's the matter? 182 00:07:45,033 --> 00:07:48,400 If I got a date tonight, I better curl my hair. 183 00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:51,701 Really? 184 00:07:53,834 --> 00:07:55,801 704 Hauser. 185 00:07:55,801 --> 00:07:56,801 Okay, Debbie. 186 00:07:56,801 --> 00:07:59,200 See you at 8:30 sharp. 187 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,901 Where you goin'? 188 00:08:02,901 --> 00:08:04,200 We. We're going. 189 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,133 I just fixed you up with a great chick. 190 00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,567 I can't. I'm busy tonight. 191 00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:08,734 We're gonna picket 192 00:08:08,734 --> 00:08:10,868 Nixon's inaugural ball at the Waldorf. 193 00:08:10,868 --> 00:08:13,667 You're still bitter 'cause your candidate lost. 194 00:08:13,667 --> 00:08:14,901 Yes, yes, I am bitter. 195 00:08:14,901 --> 00:08:16,567 I am damn disappointed in a country 196 00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:19,834 that would elect Richard Nixon and not Eldridge Cleaver. 197 00:08:22,934 --> 00:08:24,000 Forget the picketing. 198 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,300 This girl's supposed to be gorgeous. 199 00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:26,434 What if I don't like her? 200 00:08:26,434 --> 00:08:28,067 Then you'll give me the secret signal. 201 00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:30,300 I'll make some excuse so you can split. 202 00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:31,601 Okay. 203 00:08:31,601 --> 00:08:33,534 Come on, I gotta stop by the drugstore first. 204 00:08:33,534 --> 00:08:35,200 Drugstore? What for? 205 00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:42,300 I wanna take the danger outta being close. 206 00:08:43,934 --> 00:08:45,000 Oh, you mean... 207 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,033 Clorets! I need Clorets. 208 00:08:55,634 --> 00:08:56,901 [DOORBELL RINGS] 209 00:08:56,901 --> 00:08:58,200 GLORIA: It's the doorbell. 210 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,634 - DEBBIE: It's the guys. - [ GLORIA SHRIEKS ] 211 00:08:59,634 --> 00:09:00,934 Oh, Gloria! 212 00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:01,934 Please don't go, Debbie! 213 00:09:01,934 --> 00:09:03,267 Gloria, shut up! 214 00:09:03,267 --> 00:09:05,234 - But I'm not ready yet. - Shut up! 215 00:09:05,234 --> 00:09:07,067 - [DOORBELL] - Coming! 216 00:09:08,734 --> 00:09:10,634 - Hi, Jim. - Hi, Debbie. 217 00:09:10,634 --> 00:09:12,133 Debbie, Mike, Mike, Debbie. 218 00:09:12,133 --> 00:09:13,701 Hi. How are you? 219 00:09:13,701 --> 00:09:14,868 Nice to see you. 220 00:09:16,534 --> 00:09:17,534 Hi. 221 00:09:19,701 --> 00:09:20,834 Hi. 222 00:09:24,100 --> 00:09:25,367 Ohh... 223 00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,300 Before there's any mix-up, Jim is my date. 224 00:09:29,300 --> 00:09:30,901 Gloria, this is yours. 225 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,734 [MOUTHING] Debbie. 226 00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:24,267 Debbie, we gotta do something. I can't stand him. 227 00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:25,400 Why not? 228 00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:28,701 That hair... and that beard. 229 00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:31,667 There's things that look like jam in it. 230 00:10:36,300 --> 00:10:38,567 Gloria, I don't understand you. 231 00:10:38,567 --> 00:10:41,767 What did you expect him to look like, a knight on a white horse? 232 00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:45,400 No, but I didn't expect him to look like a horse. 233 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,367 Please, Debbie, whatever you do, 234 00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:52,167 don't leave me alone with him. 235 00:10:52,167 --> 00:10:55,667 Whatever you do, do not leave me alone with her. 236 00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,033 What's wrong with her? 237 00:10:57,033 --> 00:10:59,200 What's wrong with her? She's a shrimp! 238 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:02,033 And that hair! It looks like the warden pardoned her 239 00:11:02,033 --> 00:11:04,334 one minute after he threw the switch. 240 00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:08,267 Come on, Mike, come on. 241 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:10,133 What I saw wasn't half-bad. 242 00:11:10,133 --> 00:11:13,200 There's only half of her there! Where's the rest of her?! 243 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:16,234 - Hi, guys. - I got sodas, 244 00:11:16,234 --> 00:11:17,901 but you'll have to have root beer 245 00:11:17,901 --> 00:11:19,601 'cause I drank the last Yoo-Hoo. 246 00:11:19,601 --> 00:11:20,901 You wanna go upstairs 247 00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:22,200 and watch television, Debbie? 248 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,033 Oh, I'd love to. 249 00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:25,968 Uh, no, no! No, wait a second! 250 00:11:25,968 --> 00:11:26,968 Wait! 251 00:11:28,367 --> 00:11:29,968 There's no TV upstairs. 252 00:11:29,968 --> 00:11:31,367 Yeah, besides, there's nothing good 253 00:11:31,367 --> 00:11:32,467 on television tonight, anyway. 254 00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:34,067 Okay, let's go out to the car 255 00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:35,467 and listen to the radio. 256 00:11:35,467 --> 00:11:37,701 You can't! We don't have a radio in the car. 257 00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,901 Okay, we'll listen to the dashboard. 258 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,501 No, no, hey! Hey, fellas! 259 00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:53,400 Well... 260 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,033 might as well sit down. 261 00:12:04,601 --> 00:12:05,801 - No! - What? 262 00:12:07,067 --> 00:12:09,300 Not allowed to sit in that chair. 263 00:12:09,300 --> 00:12:10,434 Why not? 264 00:12:10,434 --> 00:12:12,334 Because it's my father's chair 265 00:12:12,334 --> 00:12:14,300 and he doesn't like anyone to sit in it. 266 00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:18,267 Well, how's he gonna know? 267 00:12:20,067 --> 00:12:22,334 Because he was wounded in the war, 268 00:12:22,334 --> 00:12:24,634 you know, WWII, the big one? 269 00:12:25,734 --> 00:12:27,968 And where he was wounded is how he knows 270 00:12:27,968 --> 00:12:29,934 if someone's been sitting in his chair. 271 00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:37,367 Is that one all right? 272 00:12:38,501 --> 00:12:40,801 Yes, my mother wasn't wounded. 273 00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:51,234 [SIGHS] 274 00:12:53,734 --> 00:12:55,834 So. 275 00:13:04,734 --> 00:13:06,868 Is your whole family small? 276 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,000 Yeah, there's just the three of us. 277 00:13:25,601 --> 00:13:27,033 So. 278 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:30,968 Do you make your own clothes? 279 00:13:34,801 --> 00:13:36,000 Well, I design them. 280 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,200 Someone else runs them up for me. 281 00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,601 What are you looking at? 282 00:13:46,601 --> 00:13:48,834 Your hair. It's-- 283 00:13:50,133 --> 00:13:53,501 It's very...interesting. 284 00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:56,334 It's natural. 285 00:13:56,334 --> 00:13:59,167 The color or the curl? 286 00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:02,067 Both. 287 00:14:04,300 --> 00:14:09,234 Your hair's... very interesting, too. 288 00:14:09,234 --> 00:14:10,868 It's natural. 289 00:14:12,567 --> 00:14:15,501 Does it take long to comb? 290 00:14:24,801 --> 00:14:26,567 I don't know. 291 00:14:48,667 --> 00:14:50,734 Do you like knock-knock jokes? 292 00:14:58,834 --> 00:14:59,901 What? 293 00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:02,234 Go ahead. You start. 294 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,100 Knock knock. 295 00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,501 Who's there? 296 00:15:10,834 --> 00:15:12,767 I gotcha! 297 00:15:15,267 --> 00:15:17,567 Oh, yeah! 298 00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:20,000 Yeah, yeah, I get it. That's funny. 299 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000 - I know! - That's very funny. 300 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000 Yeah, funny girls turn me off. 301 00:15:30,033 --> 00:15:32,067 And you know, 302 00:15:32,067 --> 00:15:35,567 for a college man you're kinda icky. 303 00:15:39,234 --> 00:15:40,567 Icky? 304 00:15:42,467 --> 00:15:44,801 You must be an English major. 305 00:15:48,834 --> 00:15:50,968 What did you come over here for, 306 00:15:50,968 --> 00:15:52,534 to insult me? 307 00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:55,067 Uh, no, no. 308 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:57,167 Hey, I'm sorry. 309 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,167 Look, uh... 310 00:16:01,868 --> 00:16:04,934 I don't think this is working out between us. 311 00:16:04,934 --> 00:16:07,868 Why don't we just call it a night, huh? 312 00:16:07,868 --> 00:16:09,467 That's fine with me, Mort. 313 00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:12,834 Mike. 314 00:16:12,834 --> 00:16:13,767 Whatever. 315 00:16:15,033 --> 00:16:17,701 It's, uh, no hard feelings? 316 00:16:17,701 --> 00:16:19,901 No, no hard feelings at all. 317 00:16:19,901 --> 00:16:22,567 I--I really should be studying anyway. 318 00:16:22,567 --> 00:16:24,868 Yeah, well, good night. 319 00:16:24,868 --> 00:16:26,501 Yeah. 320 00:16:26,501 --> 00:16:28,834 Good night. 321 00:16:28,834 --> 00:16:30,634 Uh, what are you looking at? 322 00:16:30,634 --> 00:16:32,534 Oh, I was just trying to figure out 323 00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:35,567 what you look like without that beard. 324 00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:36,667 Without the beard? 325 00:16:36,667 --> 00:16:38,200 I look just like Fred Astaire. 326 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,767 [GUFFAWS] You're kidding! 327 00:16:39,767 --> 00:16:41,267 No, really! It's the truth. 328 00:16:41,267 --> 00:16:42,601 People, complete strangers, 329 00:16:42,601 --> 00:16:45,033 stop me in the street and ask me to tap-dance. 330 00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,767 So, it was either grow the beard 331 00:16:46,767 --> 00:16:47,968 or take dancing lessons. 332 00:16:49,434 --> 00:16:51,868 Oh. Well. 333 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,067 [SIGHS] Good night. 334 00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:55,400 You know, if your hair 335 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,000 were longer and straighter, 336 00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,834 you would look just like Ginger Rogers. 337 00:16:58,834 --> 00:17:00,534 - No! - No, really! I mean it. 338 00:17:00,534 --> 00:17:03,434 - You're kidding! - I mean it, yes! 339 00:17:03,434 --> 00:17:05,400 You mean if I had long, straight hair 340 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:07,267 we'd probably be dancing partners? 341 00:17:07,267 --> 00:17:09,701 Well, I... 342 00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:10,801 We might. 343 00:17:10,801 --> 00:17:12,934 You like to dance? 344 00:17:12,934 --> 00:17:14,100 I hate to dance. 345 00:17:14,100 --> 00:17:17,067 But it's--what I hate-- modern dances. 346 00:17:17,067 --> 00:17:21,501 You know, the modern dance, they're all so... 347 00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:23,100 icky. 348 00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:25,100 Well put. 349 00:17:25,100 --> 00:17:26,734 I think they are too. 350 00:17:26,734 --> 00:17:29,234 Really? You're the first girl I ever met 351 00:17:29,234 --> 00:17:31,601 who doesn't like the modern dances. That's terrific. 352 00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:33,901 Yeah, well, I like ballroom dancing. 353 00:17:33,901 --> 00:17:35,601 I like the tango and the foxtrot-- 354 00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:37,033 Yeah, I-- that's what I like. 355 00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:38,701 I like those-- I like that, too. 356 00:17:38,701 --> 00:17:40,567 The boys I know can't dance like that. 357 00:17:40,567 --> 00:17:42,000 Well, I can dance like that. 358 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,200 That's far-out. 359 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,300 Where'd you ever learn ballroom dancing? 360 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,868 Oh, my father taught me. 361 00:17:46,868 --> 00:17:48,868 Really? Sounds like a great guy. 362 00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:56,667 Yeah, you'd love him. 363 00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,868 Well, uh... 364 00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:08,334 What d'you say, Ginger? 365 00:18:08,334 --> 00:18:09,634 Hehe. 366 00:18:09,634 --> 00:18:11,868 I'd love to, Fred. 367 00:18:14,501 --> 00:18:16,300 ♪ Heaven ♪ 368 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,534 ♪ I'm in heaven ♪ 369 00:18:18,534 --> 00:18:22,534 ♪ And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak ♪ 370 00:18:23,901 --> 00:18:28,334 ♪ And I seem to find the happiness I seek ♪ 371 00:18:28,334 --> 00:18:33,567 ♪ When we're out together dancing... chest to cheek ♪ 372 00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,400 Very good! That's very nice. 373 00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:45,868 You're a very good dancer. 374 00:18:45,868 --> 00:18:47,534 And you're a big dipper. 375 00:18:51,734 --> 00:18:54,667 Uh...thanks for the dance. 376 00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,400 It was nice meeting you. 377 00:18:58,801 --> 00:19:01,133 "To all, to each, a fair good night." 378 00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:04,934 "And pleasing dreams and slumbers light." 379 00:19:04,934 --> 00:19:07,100 You know that poem? That's Sir Walter Scott-- 380 00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:08,367 - "Marmion." - That's my favorite poem! 381 00:19:08,367 --> 00:19:10,067 - It's mine too! - Really? 382 00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,434 Yeah. 383 00:19:43,968 --> 00:19:45,868 - What are you doing? - Wh-what are you doing? 384 00:19:45,868 --> 00:19:47,234 I mean what are you doing?! 385 00:19:47,234 --> 00:19:49,334 Well, I was just doing what I usually do 386 00:19:49,334 --> 00:19:50,734 when I do what we did! 387 00:19:50,734 --> 00:19:53,200 Does that mean you have a routine? 388 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:57,100 No! No, I was just doing what a person does. 389 00:19:57,100 --> 00:20:00,267 Well, this person doesn't. 390 00:20:04,434 --> 00:20:05,467 Never? 391 00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:07,667 No. Never. 392 00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:11,901 You mean you're a-- 393 00:20:11,901 --> 00:20:14,167 Yes. 394 00:20:14,167 --> 00:20:16,234 I am. 395 00:20:17,868 --> 00:20:20,567 I don't think I ever met one of them before. 396 00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,267 Is something the matter? 397 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,868 D'you have anything to eat? 398 00:20:31,868 --> 00:20:34,167 Oh, yeah, sure. 399 00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,634 Come on in the kitchen and I'll fix you something. 400 00:20:36,634 --> 00:20:37,901 Great. 401 00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:42,167 I'll see what we have in our refrigerator. 402 00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:44,400 We got some whole-wheat bread here, 403 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,501 and, uh, Daddy's got some... 404 00:20:48,901 --> 00:20:50,167 frankfurters, 405 00:20:50,167 --> 00:20:51,767 and there's some... 406 00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:55,067 baking soda. 407 00:20:57,501 --> 00:21:01,033 And there's some Velveeta cheese. 408 00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:04,167 Oh, no, I'm sorry. 409 00:21:04,167 --> 00:21:05,934 Wh-what's the matter? 410 00:21:05,934 --> 00:21:08,467 D--uh, don't you like me? 411 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,033 Oh, I do. 412 00:21:10,033 --> 00:21:13,100 That's just the trouble-- I'm so confused. 413 00:21:13,100 --> 00:21:16,267 See, part of me wants to, 414 00:21:16,267 --> 00:21:19,234 but part of me doesn't. 415 00:21:20,434 --> 00:21:22,701 Which part wants to? 416 00:21:29,868 --> 00:21:32,067 - I'm sorry! - Oh, so am I. 417 00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:36,000 Uh, but I understand. 418 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,534 - Do you? - Yes, I do. 419 00:21:37,534 --> 00:21:38,467 Oh! 420 00:21:40,501 --> 00:21:42,501 But not completely. 421 00:21:42,501 --> 00:21:45,133 What do you like me for, for me or for my body? 422 00:21:45,133 --> 00:21:47,434 Do I have a choice? 423 00:21:47,434 --> 00:21:49,701 Uh, I mean, it's a combination. 424 00:21:49,701 --> 00:21:51,100 It's a combination. 425 00:21:51,100 --> 00:21:52,133 Oh. 426 00:21:56,033 --> 00:21:57,534 - Mmm. - Mm-mmm. 427 00:22:03,868 --> 00:22:05,133 Mm, that's enough! 428 00:22:05,133 --> 00:22:06,601 That's enough?! 429 00:22:06,601 --> 00:22:08,534 That's not enough! 430 00:22:08,534 --> 00:22:10,000 In an hour, it'll be enough. 431 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,434 Get up, get up, get up! 432 00:22:11,434 --> 00:22:12,834 Get up, okay. I'll get up. 433 00:22:12,834 --> 00:22:14,367 I'll get up, I'll get up. 434 00:22:14,367 --> 00:22:16,901 Give me a minute, I'll get up. 435 00:22:16,901 --> 00:22:19,234 Just a second, okay? 436 00:22:19,234 --> 00:22:20,200 All right. 437 00:22:21,701 --> 00:22:23,234 All right. 438 00:22:25,501 --> 00:22:26,901 Are you all right? 439 00:22:26,901 --> 00:22:28,567 I'm fine, I'm fine. 440 00:22:28,567 --> 00:22:30,701 I'm just fine. I'm okay. 441 00:22:30,701 --> 00:22:33,567 Just had a little cramp in my leg, that's all. 442 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,701 Eh, it's better now. 443 00:22:38,701 --> 00:22:39,801 It's much better now. 444 00:22:39,801 --> 00:22:42,601 I just want you to understand. 445 00:22:42,601 --> 00:22:44,701 This is only our first date. 446 00:22:44,701 --> 00:22:46,634 I understand, I understand it's our first date. 447 00:22:46,634 --> 00:22:48,300 I understand that a girl like you 448 00:22:48,300 --> 00:22:50,701 shouldn't be doing things like this on a first date. 449 00:22:50,701 --> 00:22:52,000 - No, I shouldn't. - I understand. 450 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:54,901 So, good night. 451 00:22:54,901 --> 00:22:56,267 Good night? 452 00:22:56,267 --> 00:22:58,400 Gloria, I really-- I think I'd better go. 453 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,400 Oh, well, uh-- 454 00:23:02,067 --> 00:23:04,100 Oh, good night. 455 00:23:04,100 --> 00:23:06,968 Hi, Gloria, here I am for our second date. 456 00:23:08,033 --> 00:23:09,167 What? What's the matter? 457 00:23:09,167 --> 00:23:10,634 Why not? Come on! 458 00:23:10,634 --> 00:23:11,868 It's the second date! 459 00:23:11,868 --> 00:23:15,000 You said two dates. Gloria, come on! 460 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,767 ...oughta be a different night, 461 00:23:16,767 --> 00:23:19,234 so he chases me into the kitchen, 462 00:23:19,234 --> 00:23:20,901 - and then-- - Oh, it was great. 463 00:23:20,901 --> 00:23:22,434 It was great. 464 00:23:24,067 --> 00:23:26,000 [GIGGLING] Oh! 465 00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,467 You get a little thrill outta that. 466 00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:36,267 What about you two? 467 00:23:36,267 --> 00:23:38,000 What happened on your first date? 468 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:39,367 Oh, make believe you don't hear that. 469 00:23:39,367 --> 00:23:41,601 Oh, I'll never forget! 470 00:23:41,601 --> 00:23:42,901 Try, you know? 471 00:23:42,901 --> 00:23:45,133 I was at the Puritan Maid Ice Cream Parlor. 472 00:23:45,133 --> 00:23:47,200 Don't make it a long story, will ya? 473 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:49,367 Me and my cousin Maude-- 474 00:23:49,367 --> 00:23:51,968 Maude?! 475 00:23:51,968 --> 00:23:54,234 We was having one of their specials. 476 00:23:54,234 --> 00:23:56,300 It was called a Steamboat. 477 00:23:56,300 --> 00:23:58,133 Oh, it was so delicious! 478 00:23:58,133 --> 00:24:00,267 Five different flavors! 479 00:24:00,267 --> 00:24:02,501 Anyway, Archie was sitting 480 00:24:02,501 --> 00:24:03,667 at another table 481 00:24:03,667 --> 00:24:06,033 with that fella, Jefferson Pratt, 482 00:24:06,033 --> 00:24:07,701 remember him? 483 00:24:07,701 --> 00:24:12,133 Well, anyway, Archie was trying to get my attention, 484 00:24:12,133 --> 00:24:15,367 so first he put two straws in his nose 485 00:24:15,367 --> 00:24:16,934 like a walrus... 486 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:24,334 [APPLAUSE] 487 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,734 All in the Family was recorded on tape 488 00:24:44,734 --> 00:24:46,300 before a live audience. 489 00:24:46,350 --> 00:24:50,900 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 32715

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