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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
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00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340
♪ Songs that made
The hit parade ♪
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00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280
♪ Those were the days ♪
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00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:19,317
♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
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00:00:19,319 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
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♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
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♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
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00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:36,567
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
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00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:40,905
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:46,711
♪ Those were the days ♪
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[GROGGILY] Ma.
13
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:59,024
Gloria! What are you
doing down here?
14
00:00:59,026 --> 00:01:00,625
You ought
to be in bed.
15
00:01:00,627 --> 00:01:04,729
I feel too bad to lie down.
Did you call Dr. Nelson?
16
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,497
Yeah, but he can't come.
17
00:01:06,499 --> 00:01:09,901
He says he don't feel
well enough to make house calls.
18
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,337
Oh, no, you mean
Dr. Nelson's sick too?
19
00:01:13,339 --> 00:01:15,273
Yeah, and he thinks
it sounds like
20
00:01:15,275 --> 00:01:17,676
both of you got
the same thing.
21
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:19,577
Well, what did you
tell him?
22
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:24,182
I told him to take two aspirin
and get plenty of rest.
23
00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,250
Oh, Ma.
24
00:01:26,252 --> 00:01:28,553
I feel awful.
25
00:01:28,555 --> 00:01:30,488
Aww. Dinner will
be ready soon.
26
00:01:30,490 --> 00:01:33,224
Some nice stew will
make you feel better.
27
00:01:33,226 --> 00:01:36,527
Not so loud.
My stomach might hear you.
28
00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:38,329
I can't face any food.
29
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:39,964
Oh, maybe you're right.
30
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:43,568
They say, "Starve a cold
and feed a fever."
31
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:46,738
Well, what am I supposed to do?
I got a cold and a fever.
32
00:01:46,740 --> 00:01:50,975
Oh, well, maybe if you ate
a little for your fever now,
33
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:54,245
you could starve a little
for your cold in the morning.
34
00:01:54,247 --> 00:01:57,381
No. No food, Ma.
35
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,417
Edith!
36
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:00,418
There's your father.
37
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,519
Coming, Archie!
38
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:02,587
Hello, Archie.
39
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:03,588
Ah-choo!
40
00:02:03,590 --> 00:02:04,923
Oh, gesundheit.
41
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:06,758
Ah-choo!
Oh, gesundheit!
42
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:10,161
Ah-choo!
Gesundheit!
43
00:02:10,163 --> 00:02:11,629
Hello, Archie.
44
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:13,965
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
You see what you've done?
45
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,300
You went back, you pick up
three loads of germs,
46
00:02:16,302 --> 00:02:19,104
then you come
and dump them on me!
47
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:21,639
Stay away from me.
48
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,108
Daddy, you never
have any sympathy
49
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:24,809
for anybody but yourself.
50
00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,544
Can't you see
I got the flu?
51
00:02:26,546 --> 00:02:28,146
Well, whose fault
is that?
52
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,782
I think it's
Mr. Nixon's fault.
53
00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:39,124
"I think it's
Mr. Nixon's fault."
54
00:02:39,126 --> 00:02:40,558
Why?
55
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,628
Well, making us put
our thermostat down so low.
56
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:46,564
It gets awful chilly
upstairs at night.
57
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:49,634
In their bedroom
it ain't never chilly.
58
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,602
Come on.
Very funny.
59
00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,938
Let's get a little dinner on
the table here, huh, Edith.
60
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,473
Dinner's all ready,
Archie.
61
00:02:55,475 --> 00:02:57,776
I'm just waiting
for Mike to come home.
62
00:02:57,778 --> 00:03:02,380
Oh, jeez, what happened? His
chow radar ain't working today?
63
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:05,583
Michael had a very important
lecture he had to attend.
64
00:03:05,585 --> 00:03:07,318
Oh, well, listen,
that's tough luck on him.
65
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:09,387
We ain't waiting.
Come on, Edith. Get it on, huh?
66
00:03:09,389 --> 00:03:10,755
All right.
67
00:03:10,757 --> 00:03:12,490
We always wait for you.
68
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:14,192
That, little girl,
is because
69
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,194
I happen to be the breadwinner
in this house.
70
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,362
Your husband is the crumb.
71
00:03:20,465 --> 00:03:22,133
Here you are, Archie.
72
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,368
I'm keeping Mike's
warm for him.
73
00:03:24,370 --> 00:03:25,503
Oh, look at this.
74
00:03:25,505 --> 00:03:27,772
Hey, this looks pretty good
here, Edith.
75
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,641
Yeah, it's
beef-and-mushroom stew.
76
00:03:30,643 --> 00:03:32,310
Oh,
beef-and-mushroom stew.
77
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:34,846
Hey, jeez, that's
something good here, Edith.
78
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:37,015
You really overdone yourself
tonight here.
79
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:38,183
Aww.
80
00:03:38,185 --> 00:03:39,684
Mmm.
81
00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,686
Delicious.
82
00:03:46,058 --> 00:03:47,591
Ain't you gonna
eat nothing here?
83
00:03:47,593 --> 00:03:49,627
Oh, no, I had
a big lunch
84
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:52,163
at the Women's League meeting
at the church.
85
00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,731
I ain't hungry yet.
86
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,266
All right.
87
00:03:58,637 --> 00:04:00,538
Ain't you got
nothing to do, Edith?
88
00:04:00,540 --> 00:04:02,273
Oh, that's all right,
Archie.
89
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,575
I don't mind
keeping you company.
90
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,711
Edith,
it makes me nervous
91
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:09,780
to have you sitting here
listening to me chew.
92
00:04:09,782 --> 00:04:13,617
Oh, no, Archie, you ain't hardly
making any noise at all.
93
00:04:13,619 --> 00:04:16,120
[GROANS]
94
00:04:16,122 --> 00:04:17,555
Hi.
EDITH: Oh, Mike!
95
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:19,924
I'll get your dinner
right away.
96
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,525
Oh, thanks, Ma.
I'm hungry.
97
00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:22,894
The day you ain't hungry,
98
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:26,564
I'm gonna phone in the news
to bigmouth Cronkite.
99
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:29,567
That's funny, Arch.
Funny.
100
00:04:29,569 --> 00:04:30,568
Honey, what's the matter?
101
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:31,569
Oh, Michael, I--
102
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:32,770
Ah-choo!
You got a cold!
103
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:33,771
You got a cold!
104
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:37,008
Get away! Get away!
Get away!
105
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,642
What kind of a greeting
is that?
106
00:04:38,644 --> 00:04:40,011
"Get away! Get away!
Get away!"
107
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,313
Can't you see
I feel terrible?
108
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:43,414
Honey, this morning--
109
00:04:43,416 --> 00:04:45,116
Can't you see
that I'm sick,
110
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,784
that I have the flu?
111
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:48,786
Daddy, do you hear the way
he's talking to me?
112
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,855
Hey, look, now, don't be
blowing your bicromes
113
00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,290
over all the food here.
114
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,524
I don't believe this.
115
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:55,760
My own father pushes me
away from the table.
116
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,028
And my own husband,
117
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,364
who I just stood up for
before he came home,
118
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:00,965
is attacking me
because I have a cold.
119
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,368
You know something, Michael,
I may be sick,
120
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:05,836
but you're sick.
121
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:08,039
Gloria, I'm sorry. Honey--
I'll come up and sit with you.
122
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,040
All right?
123
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:10,074
Dinner, Mike.
124
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:11,475
Oh, thanks, Ma.
125
00:05:11,477 --> 00:05:12,911
Did you say
dinner was ready?
126
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:13,912
EDITH:
Yeah.
127
00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:15,746
I'll be up
in a minute, honey.
128
00:05:16,882 --> 00:05:18,416
Yeah, he'll be up,
honey,
129
00:05:18,418 --> 00:05:21,119
as soon as he
fills his face here.
130
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,453
Hey.
131
00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:23,922
Looks good, Ma.
What is it?
132
00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:25,656
Beef-and-mushroom stew.
133
00:05:26,792 --> 00:05:28,092
Mushrooms?
134
00:05:28,094 --> 00:05:29,460
EDITH:
Yeah.
135
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:33,097
Ma, I don't think we ought
to be eating mushrooms.
136
00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:36,367
Oh, jeez, listen to
the ecrology nut over here.
137
00:05:36,369 --> 00:05:38,702
Mushrooms ain't
no endangered species.
138
00:05:38,704 --> 00:05:41,705
Nobody's going out
shooting mushrooms.
139
00:05:41,707 --> 00:05:44,375
Arch, we may be endangered
if we eat them.
140
00:05:44,377 --> 00:05:47,478
No, Mike, mushrooms
are good for you.
141
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,747
Frank Lorenzo
was telling me
142
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:53,284
how they grow them
in a special fertilizer.
143
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,754
Oh, jeez, can't you
be delicate? I'm eating.
144
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:58,889
Ma, didn't you see the article
in today's paper?
145
00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:00,691
They recalled
a whole batch of mushrooms
146
00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:01,859
because of food poisoning.
147
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:03,027
[SCOFFS]
148
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:06,965
Oh, my! I hope I ain't
poisoned you, Archie.
149
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,566
Don't be stupid.
150
00:06:08,568 --> 00:06:11,302
If you'd poisoned me, I'd be
heaving up all over the table.
151
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,937
Archie.
152
00:06:12,939 --> 00:06:14,572
Ma, when did you
buy these mushrooms?
153
00:06:14,574 --> 00:06:16,841
Day before yesterday.
154
00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:18,076
That was before the recall.
155
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:20,278
The cans you bought might be
some of the bad ones.
156
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,746
Arch, I don't think you should
be eating any more of that
157
00:06:22,748 --> 00:06:24,782
until we find out what kind
of mushrooms these are.
158
00:06:24,784 --> 00:06:26,184
Listen, wise guy,
if you think
159
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,252
you're gonna ruin my dinner
with all this bad news,
160
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:30,121
you're wrong, because
I'm already finished.
161
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,689
Arch, I'm just
telling you--
162
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,691
[BELCHES]
163
00:06:41,633 --> 00:06:44,435
Would you bring me my coffee
over to the coffee table?
164
00:06:44,437 --> 00:06:45,769
All right.
165
00:06:45,771 --> 00:06:48,539
Arch, I think we ought to
check out those mushrooms.
166
00:06:48,541 --> 00:06:52,443
And I think that you ought to
check out of this here country.
167
00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:53,511
What?
168
00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:54,712
You're always
burnin' down
169
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,714
everything that
America stands for.
170
00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:58,916
America stands
for mushrooms?
171
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,018
Get out of here.
172
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:02,553
You and your heroes
like that Ralph Nader,
173
00:07:02,555 --> 00:07:05,523
you're giving the whole country
a pain in the butt.
174
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,725
Arch, you ought to be grateful
for Ralph Nader.
175
00:07:07,727 --> 00:07:09,860
Do you realize
that before 1968
176
00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:12,830
there were hardly any cars
recalled for being defective,
177
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:16,901
but in 1972 there were
nearly 8 million cars recalled.
178
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:20,638
And do you realize
that in 1974...
179
00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,907
who cares?
180
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:25,643
Nader cares, Arch.
And you should too.
181
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:27,412
You drive a cab
part-time.
182
00:07:27,414 --> 00:07:29,747
Ralph Nader may
save your life someday.
183
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:33,051
How? By making people
scared to ride with me?
184
00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:36,187
The only person
that's deflective is Nader.
185
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:38,222
Nader ain't
doing the country no good.
186
00:07:38,224 --> 00:07:39,924
Oh, oh, oh. I get it.
187
00:07:39,926 --> 00:07:43,027
What's good for General Motors
is good for the country.
188
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:44,595
You're damn right.
189
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:46,830
BOTH: And Ralph Nader ain't
no good for General Motors!
190
00:07:46,832 --> 00:07:48,332
No!
191
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:51,069
Here you are, Archie.
192
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:53,571
Are you feeling
anything yet?
193
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:54,805
What?
194
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:57,241
I mean, are the mushrooms
getting to you?
195
00:07:57,243 --> 00:08:00,244
What, are you helping?
196
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,745
No!
197
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,114
I'm feeling fine.
198
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,249
I don't want to hear
nothing more about mushrooms.
199
00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:06,917
Oh, that's good.
200
00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:08,252
Not necessarily, Ma.
201
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:09,554
If he's
got botulism,
202
00:08:09,556 --> 00:08:11,922
the symptoms might not
show for hours.
203
00:08:11,924 --> 00:08:13,057
If I got what?
204
00:08:13,059 --> 00:08:14,592
Botulism.
205
00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:18,529
Get out of here. Nobody ever
went crazy eating mushrooms.
206
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:23,801
Arch, "botulism" means
"food poisoning,"
207
00:08:23,803 --> 00:08:26,036
and I think we ought to
check those mushrooms.
208
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:27,705
Oh, I think so too.
209
00:08:27,707 --> 00:08:29,073
What do you know
about it?
210
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:31,476
He's nuts. I'll give you
a for instance.
211
00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:33,311
How many different
brands of mushrooms
212
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:35,012
are sold all over
this here country?
213
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,514
Oh, thousands.
214
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:37,548
All right.
215
00:08:37,550 --> 00:08:39,484
And how many cans
do you think are bought?
216
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:40,784
Millions.
217
00:08:40,786 --> 00:08:42,553
So what do you think
the chances are
218
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,255
of me getting
the one bad can
219
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,056
out of all them
millions of cans?
220
00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:48,493
What is it,
100 to 1?
221
00:08:49,628 --> 00:08:52,029
What is that, the new math?
222
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:58,068
I'm glad you're all right,
Archie.
223
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,670
One of the troubles
with this country
224
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:02,906
is that some little thing
goes wrong, everybody panics.
225
00:09:02,908 --> 00:09:04,875
Oh, hi, honey.
Honey.
226
00:09:04,877 --> 00:09:06,944
I'm sorry. I was
on my way up, really.
227
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,412
Oh, that's all right,
Michael.
228
00:09:08,414 --> 00:09:09,580
I understand.
229
00:09:09,582 --> 00:09:11,215
Out of sight,
out of mind.
230
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,651
Oh. Honey, don't be that way.
231
00:09:13,653 --> 00:09:16,687
Ma, did you put any mushrooms
in your stew today?
232
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,022
Yeah. Why?
233
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,391
Oh, no.
Did everybody eat it?
234
00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,527
No, just Archie.
235
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:23,961
Why are you asking?
236
00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,729
Well, because I was
listening to the radio,
237
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,231
and the news
was just on,
238
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,767
and they said that
three people in Queens
239
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,502
are in the hospital
with botulism
240
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:32,770
from eating
canned mushrooms.
241
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,038
Huh?
You hear that?
242
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,239
Archie!
243
00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:37,141
GLORIA:
You know what else they said?
244
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:39,043
One person died from it.
245
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,244
Somebody died
from it.
246
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,480
All right, there's your
one dead guy out of 100.
247
00:09:42,482 --> 00:09:44,682
I'm in the clear.
248
00:09:47,052 --> 00:09:49,687
She said somebody died
in Queens.
249
00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:51,689
Ah, she didn't say
nothing like that.
250
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:52,956
Yes, Daddy, in Queens.
251
00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:55,726
What part of Queens?
252
00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:56,927
What brand of mushrooms
was it?
253
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:57,961
Will you shut up?
254
00:09:57,963 --> 00:09:59,163
What part of Queens?
255
00:09:59,165 --> 00:10:02,233
I don't know. They said
it was Pocono mushrooms.
256
00:10:02,235 --> 00:10:05,336
Pocono. Well, all right, don't
start a panic now, will you?
257
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,406
Edith, what brand of mushrooms
did you buy?
258
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,540
I can't remember.
259
00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,342
Come on, come on, come on.
Think, will you?
260
00:10:11,344 --> 00:10:12,343
Was they the Poconos?
261
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:13,877
Arch, take it easy.
Don't panic.
262
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:15,580
Will you stay
out of this?
263
00:10:15,582 --> 00:10:17,147
Now, take it easy.
Don't panic.
264
00:10:17,149 --> 00:10:18,782
Just think. Think.
265
00:10:18,784 --> 00:10:20,318
Yeah, I'm thinking.
266
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,920
All I can remember is there was
something funny about the name.
267
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,121
Pocono's a funny name.
268
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,390
What's funny about it?
269
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:28,892
They had a pink label,
270
00:10:28,894 --> 00:10:31,995
and they was a bargain:
three for 59 cents.
271
00:10:31,997 --> 00:10:33,531
So I got three cans.
272
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:37,901
Are you telling me that you put
three cans of poison in my stew?
273
00:10:37,903 --> 00:10:40,304
Why don't we check the cans
and see what brand they were?
274
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,240
Why don't you
stay out of this?
275
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,142
Edith, we got to check the cans
and see what brand they were.
276
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,644
What did you do
with the cans?
277
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,178
I put them in
the garbage pail.
278
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,580
You put them in
the garbage pail?
279
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:52,583
Look in that garbage pail
in there.
280
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,385
Get out of the way here.
Let me look--
281
00:10:54,387 --> 00:10:55,986
Get out of the way!
282
00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,588
There ain't no garbage
in the garbage pail!
283
00:10:57,590 --> 00:10:59,523
Oh, no, I put them
in the trash can.
284
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:01,158
Look in the trash can
outside.
285
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,761
You're in the way, Edith. You're
in the way. You're in the way.
286
00:11:03,763 --> 00:11:05,529
MIKE:
There's nothing here!
287
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:07,965
Edith, there ain't no garbage
in the trash can.
288
00:11:09,568 --> 00:11:12,102
What are you doing?
289
00:11:12,104 --> 00:11:14,305
I'm trying
to tell you, Archie,
290
00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:16,607
the garbage men
came this morning.
291
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:17,908
Well, why don't we
call Ferguson's?
292
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,577
They may not even carry
Pocono mushrooms.
293
00:11:19,579 --> 00:11:21,345
We got to
call Ferguson's.
294
00:11:21,347 --> 00:11:25,750
Will you let me
get in the door!
295
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:28,386
You're in the way again, Edith.
You're in the way again.
296
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,620
You're in the way again!
297
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:30,854
GLORIA:
I know the number.
298
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,189
Come on.
What's the number?
299
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:33,491
It's five--
Five.
300
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:34,492
Five.
Five.
301
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:35,626
[SNEEZES]
302
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:36,627
Come on!
Come on!
303
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:37,628
Three.
Three.
304
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,629
One.
One.
305
00:11:38,631 --> 00:11:39,630
Five.
Five.
306
00:11:39,632 --> 00:11:40,631
Two.
Two.
307
00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:42,333
Huh? What's the rest of it?
308
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,534
You only gave me six numbers!
309
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,002
I gave you seven numbers.
310
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:48,105
You gave me six. One of
those numbers was a sneeze!
311
00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:50,708
Will you get on with it?
What do you want me to do?
312
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,810
Do you see a sneeze
on this dial?
313
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,112
Start over, huh?
314
00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:56,213
MIKE: Start over.
Start over.
315
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,247
Five,
five, five.
316
00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,248
MIKE:
Five, five, five.
317
00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,249
Three.
Three.
318
00:11:59,251 --> 00:12:00,250
One.
One.
319
00:12:00,252 --> 00:12:01,686
Five.
Oh, jeez, here she goes again!
320
00:12:01,688 --> 00:12:02,687
What's the number?
321
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:03,754
I forget!
322
00:12:03,756 --> 00:12:05,523
Aahhhh! Look it up
in the phone book.
323
00:12:05,525 --> 00:12:07,525
Don't hang up the phone.
Keep the line hot there.
324
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,327
Give me the book.
I'll look it up myself.
325
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,729
I ain't got my glasses on.
I can't see. Where's my glasses?
326
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,997
Ferguson. Ferguson.
Ferguson. Ferguson. Ferguson.
327
00:12:13,999 --> 00:12:14,998
F! F!
328
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,066
I got it!
329
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,868
Here it is! Here it is!
Here it is!
330
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,337
BOTH: 555-3152.
331
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,271
Yeah.
332
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:24,141
Well, will you
dial the number?
333
00:12:24,143 --> 00:12:26,109
Five, five, five...
334
00:12:26,111 --> 00:12:27,778
Ah, ah...
ARCHIE: Hey, hey, hey!
335
00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,046
Don't you sneeze no more!
336
00:12:29,048 --> 00:12:30,280
MIKE:
All right, shush.
337
00:12:30,282 --> 00:12:31,281
It's ringing!
It's ringing!
338
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,282
Hey!
339
00:12:32,284 --> 00:12:33,718
Uh, hello.
Ferguson's?
340
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,219
Uh-- Uh--
341
00:12:35,221 --> 00:12:37,187
Do you carry
Pocono mushrooms?
342
00:12:37,189 --> 00:12:38,188
You don't?
343
00:12:38,190 --> 00:12:39,289
Oh, jeez, I'm okay.
344
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:41,191
Not since they were
recalled this morning.
345
00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,894
I'm in trouble, Edith!
346
00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:46,230
Mike, ask them, did the can
have a pink label?
347
00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:48,599
Yeah, did the Pocono mushroom
can have a pink label?
348
00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,067
With a little yellow
on it.
349
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:51,268
Yellow on it.
350
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,670
A pink-and-yellow label.
351
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,004
Thanks.
352
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:55,773
Oh, jeez, Edith,
353
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,040
I can almost feel the pain
already.
354
00:12:58,176 --> 00:12:59,977
Daddy, what kind
of a pain?
355
00:12:59,979 --> 00:13:02,580
What the hell kind of a pain
do you think? A poison pain!
356
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,181
Oh, sit down, Archie.
No! Don't sit down!
357
00:13:04,183 --> 00:13:06,183
The worst thing you can do.
Keep moving. Keep moving.
358
00:13:06,185 --> 00:13:07,885
Let me keep moving here.
359
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:09,019
Why don't you lie down?
360
00:13:09,021 --> 00:13:10,187
Let me lay down, Edith.
361
00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:11,188
Wait, wait!
362
00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,289
Do you want an enema?
363
00:13:24,035 --> 00:13:28,839
The poison is up here.
It ain't down there, Edith!
364
00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:30,073
Put your jacket on.
365
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:31,275
I ain't cold.
366
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:32,877
Come on! We're going to
the emergency hospital.
367
00:13:32,879 --> 00:13:33,878
Emergency hospital?
368
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:34,879
Let's go! Hurry up!
369
00:13:34,881 --> 00:13:35,880
Emergency hospital?
Come on!
370
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:38,949
Hey, Edith.
I could be dying, Edith.
371
00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:43,353
I want to go!
372
00:13:43,355 --> 00:13:46,424
You can't go to the hospital!
You're sick!
373
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:55,766
Ah... Ah... Ah...
374
00:13:58,437 --> 00:14:02,306
[MOANS]
375
00:14:02,308 --> 00:14:03,808
Hey, nurse,
hurry it up, will you?
376
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,409
When do I get
to see the doc?
377
00:14:05,411 --> 00:14:07,110
You'll have to wait your turn.
378
00:14:07,112 --> 00:14:10,414
I've been waiting half a day.
I'm growing cobwebs here.
379
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:12,583
We'll get to you
as quick as we can.
380
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,984
Next.
381
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:17,922
Lewis. Mr. Fred Lewis,
the doctor will see you now.
382
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:19,256
Mr. Lewis!
383
00:14:19,258 --> 00:14:21,358
He's gone. He said he couldn't
wait no longer.
384
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:23,761
He was losing
too much blood.
385
00:14:26,965 --> 00:14:28,432
Wexler. Mary Wexler.
386
00:14:28,434 --> 00:14:29,533
Here.
387
00:14:29,535 --> 00:14:30,901
Take this in
with you.
388
00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:32,770
Thank you.
389
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:35,272
DOCTOR:
Close the door, Mr. Lewis.
390
00:14:39,177 --> 00:14:41,545
I need to see a doctor right
away. I'm an emergency.
391
00:14:41,547 --> 00:14:42,546
Emergency.
392
00:14:42,548 --> 00:14:44,247
Yeah, that's what I said,
emergency.
393
00:14:44,249 --> 00:14:45,248
Just a minute,
please.
394
00:14:45,250 --> 00:14:46,750
I'm talking
on the phone.
395
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,586
I can see that.
396
00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:49,887
Yes?
397
00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:52,422
I'm sorry,
Dr. Swenson's not on duty.
398
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,157
I'll take anybody you got.
399
00:14:54,159 --> 00:14:55,559
He won't be back till Tuesday.
400
00:14:55,561 --> 00:14:57,094
I can't wait
till Tuesday.
401
00:14:57,096 --> 00:14:58,195
No, that's all right.
402
00:14:58,197 --> 00:15:01,264
You're very welcome.
403
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:04,001
Yes?
404
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:06,604
I just said to you,
it's an emergency.
405
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,405
There's no need
to shout at me, sir.
406
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:11,809
Look, he might've been poisoned.
He needs help quickly.
407
00:15:11,811 --> 00:15:13,477
Yeah,
faster than quickly.
408
00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:14,712
Name?
409
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:15,746
Archie Bunker.
410
00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,948
Look, he ate
some recalled mushrooms.
411
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:18,949
Address?
412
00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:21,351
704 Hauser Street.
413
00:15:21,353 --> 00:15:22,753
Social security number?
414
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:26,289
129-40-6989...
Jeez, I'm in pain.
415
00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:29,126
Can't you type
no faster than that?
416
00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:31,395
I thought nurses were supposed
to be quick with their hands.
417
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:35,098
What do you want me to do?
Break a nail?
418
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,235
Jeez, I'd rather die
than do that.
419
00:15:43,141 --> 00:15:44,742
Mother's maiden name?
420
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:48,045
She's dead! What do you
gotta know that for?
421
00:15:48,047 --> 00:15:51,015
Lornstreet.
Sarah Lornstreet.
422
00:15:51,017 --> 00:15:55,118
I'll tell her you asked for her
when I see her in a few minutes.
423
00:16:03,494 --> 00:16:05,696
Take a seat. The doctor
will be with you shortly.
424
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,898
Look, missus,
I ate poisoned mushrooms--
425
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,968
I said take a seat!
426
00:16:12,470 --> 00:16:14,638
[MOANS MOCKINGLY]
427
00:16:17,241 --> 00:16:18,576
Where's a seat?
428
00:16:18,578 --> 00:16:21,278
And look at you there.
You want me to lay on the floor?
429
00:16:21,280 --> 00:16:23,180
Sorry. Sorry.
Get out of here!
430
00:16:25,850 --> 00:16:27,517
I hope you ain't
in no hurry.
431
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:28,953
We are.
432
00:16:28,955 --> 00:16:30,988
Well, you've come
to the wrong place.
433
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,356
They won't even look at you
unless you drop dead.
434
00:16:33,358 --> 00:16:37,260
Are all these people
ahead of us?
435
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:38,395
They're ahead of you?
436
00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:40,731
Nobody's ahead of me!
437
00:16:40,733 --> 00:16:44,401
Don't talk to him. He probably
got shot in a holdup.
438
00:16:46,304 --> 00:16:47,504
Next.
439
00:16:47,506 --> 00:16:49,206
Duffy. Joe Duffy!
440
00:16:49,208 --> 00:16:50,507
I don't believe it.
441
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:51,875
Hey, hey, doc--
442
00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:54,478
Hey, doc, I got a poison pain
knifing right through me here.
443
00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:55,679
What's the matter
with this man?
444
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:57,147
He says he ate
poison mushrooms.
445
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:58,181
Yeah.
Inside.
446
00:16:58,183 --> 00:16:59,249
Yeah, thanks, doc.
447
00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:01,251
Hey, doc, doc, doc,
what about my arm?
448
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:02,853
Hang on to it.
449
00:17:06,758 --> 00:17:08,492
Right, where's the pain?
450
00:17:08,494 --> 00:17:09,927
Well, it's all over, doc,
451
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,328
but I think it starts
around here--
452
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:12,763
These mushrooms you ate,
453
00:17:12,765 --> 00:17:14,364
they weren't Poconos,
by any chance, were they?
454
00:17:14,366 --> 00:17:15,766
I got a bulletin
on them today.
455
00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:17,367
Yeah, that was the kind
I had, Poconos.
456
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,368
All right, don't panic.
457
00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:19,503
Do you have blurred vision?
458
00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:21,171
I don't know.
I ain't got my glasses.
459
00:17:21,173 --> 00:17:24,174
Let me try and read something
here. Yeah, it's blurred.
460
00:17:26,177 --> 00:17:28,078
Any lassitude?
461
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:32,116
No, she never puts that in
the stew, only the mushrooms.
462
00:17:33,918 --> 00:17:36,219
I mean, do you feel
fatigued, tired?
463
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,388
Oh, jeez,
I could use sleep, doc.
464
00:17:38,390 --> 00:17:40,624
Well, we better not take
any chances.
465
00:17:40,626 --> 00:17:43,027
Well, I hate to hustle you
or anything--
466
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,595
Listen, I want to be very
careful with this antitoxin.
467
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:46,596
The what?
468
00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:47,698
The antidote for botulism.
469
00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:49,399
Some people
are very allergic to it.
470
00:17:49,401 --> 00:17:51,168
Is that right?
What's it do to someone?
471
00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:52,302
Well, reactions vary.
472
00:17:52,304 --> 00:17:53,871
In some cases
it could cause arthritis.
473
00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:56,140
Oh...
474
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:58,976
But the botulism,
it can kill you, right?
475
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:00,477
Very quickly.
476
00:18:00,479 --> 00:18:01,879
Oh, well, jeez,
let's think about this,
477
00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:04,915
'cause, see, I know a guy
that can bowl with arthritis.
478
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,751
But with botulism,
all you can be is dead, huh?
479
00:18:10,221 --> 00:18:13,757
Okay, let's go
for the arthritis.
480
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:17,828
All right, just relax
and breathe steadily.
481
00:18:17,830 --> 00:18:19,963
Yeah, okay, doc,
anything you say.
482
00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:22,833
[BREATHING DEEPLY]
483
00:18:31,442 --> 00:18:32,910
Am I doing okay, doc?
484
00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,912
Yeah, just fine.
485
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:35,913
Good.
486
00:18:35,915 --> 00:18:37,748
Hey, let me ask you something.
487
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:39,382
This anecdote you give, uh...
488
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:40,951
how are you
supposed to take that?
489
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,319
Intravenously.
490
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:43,520
Oh, that's good,
491
00:18:43,522 --> 00:18:45,222
because I can take anything
off a spoon.
492
00:18:45,224 --> 00:18:46,456
I can't stand shots.
493
00:18:51,696 --> 00:18:53,597
I was worried,
coming here on a bus,
494
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,199
whether we'd be here
in time, you know,
495
00:18:55,201 --> 00:18:56,767
because it takes
a long time from--
496
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:59,203
Uh... Hey!
497
00:18:59,205 --> 00:19:00,204
Hey!
498
00:19:00,206 --> 00:19:02,039
Hey-eh-hey-hey!
499
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:03,273
Hey-eh-eh-eh!
500
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:04,374
Hey! Hey!
501
00:19:04,376 --> 00:19:05,508
Hey.
502
00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:06,977
Hey!
503
00:19:06,979 --> 00:19:08,212
Hey.
504
00:19:08,214 --> 00:19:09,246
Hey!!
505
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:10,247
Hey!
506
00:19:10,249 --> 00:19:12,182
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
507
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:17,154
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey...
508
00:19:17,156 --> 00:19:19,089
Can't you walk behind me
509
00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,858
without bumping into
my sore arm?
510
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,259
I never touched it, Arch.
511
00:19:22,261 --> 00:19:23,627
Daddy, Daddy,
are you all right?
512
00:19:23,629 --> 00:19:24,828
I've been worried sick
about you.
513
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:26,429
Why didn't you call me
from the hospital,
514
00:19:26,431 --> 00:19:27,931
let me know how you were?
515
00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:29,967
Jeez, it was terrible down
at that hospital, little girl.
516
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:32,169
But it's okay. You're gonna
still have your daddy with you.
517
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,238
Listen, help me over
to the sofa there, huh?
518
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,374
Okay.
Arggh!
519
00:19:37,376 --> 00:19:39,509
Will you get away
from me?
520
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,245
Just my daughter, huh?
Here, take me.
521
00:19:41,247 --> 00:19:44,014
Come on, Daddy,
come on. Come on.
522
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,949
Here. All right.
Help me into the sofa.
523
00:19:45,951 --> 00:19:47,885
Arggh!
524
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,419
Get away from me!
525
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:51,288
Daddy...
Oh.
526
00:19:51,290 --> 00:19:52,622
Put the pillow
back there, huh?
527
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:53,623
There you go.
528
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:55,859
Ahh. Thank you,
my darling.
529
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,261
Where's Ma?
530
00:19:57,263 --> 00:19:59,396
Oh, she stopped at Ferguson's
to get some ice cream.
531
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:00,397
Ice cream.
ARCHIE: Yeah.
532
00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,565
To cool down my burning guts.
533
00:20:02,567 --> 00:20:04,567
You know,
I think he's delirious.
534
00:20:04,569 --> 00:20:06,770
He blew $4.90 on a taxi.
535
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,940
Eh, $5 with the tip.
536
00:20:11,876 --> 00:20:13,844
Wait a minute.
You took a cab?
537
00:20:13,846 --> 00:20:15,412
Oh, that's all right.
538
00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:18,615
I'm gonna charge them mushroom
people with every dime of it.
539
00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:20,984
Of course, I'm gonna sue them
for every dime they've got.
540
00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:24,154
Here, you go get me the number
of that law firm that I had
541
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,689
the time I had
the whiplash there.
542
00:20:25,691 --> 00:20:27,590
Oh, what was
their name?
543
00:20:27,592 --> 00:20:29,293
Oh, jeez, I forget.
Now, let me think.
544
00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:30,694
There was three Jewish guys,
545
00:20:30,696 --> 00:20:32,796
all with the same name
in the same family--
546
00:20:32,798 --> 00:20:34,164
Jewish name.
547
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:35,799
Well, what do you
want me to do?
548
00:20:35,801 --> 00:20:39,069
Look them up in the Yellow Pages
under "Jewish lawyers"?
549
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:41,604
No, that would take too long.
550
00:20:41,606 --> 00:20:43,841
Go get the shoebox
551
00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,676
where your mother keeps
all that useless paper.
552
00:20:46,678 --> 00:20:49,880
There's a letter in there
from that firm to me.
553
00:20:49,882 --> 00:20:51,114
I don't know, Arch.
554
00:20:51,116 --> 00:20:53,217
I don't think
you got much of a case.
555
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:56,019
Ah, what are you talking about?
Look at my hurt arm there.
556
00:20:56,021 --> 00:20:58,322
Look at the way
my eyesight went blurry
557
00:20:58,324 --> 00:21:00,991
from the lastitude
they put in them mushrooms.
558
00:21:02,626 --> 00:21:05,162
Arch, you still can't prove
that you ate Pocono mushrooms.
559
00:21:05,164 --> 00:21:08,098
Ah-hah, buddy boy,
nobody can prove that I didn't.
560
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,400
In this country,
the good old USA,
561
00:21:10,402 --> 00:21:13,937
a man still stands poisoned
till he's proved healthy.
562
00:21:15,106 --> 00:21:16,806
Come on, get out of my chair.
563
00:21:16,808 --> 00:21:18,808
You're not sitting in it.
564
00:21:18,810 --> 00:21:21,611
Your butt always changes the
shape of it. Get out of there!
565
00:21:23,714 --> 00:21:24,948
Arggh!
566
00:21:24,950 --> 00:21:26,483
You walked into me.
567
00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:28,919
Get away from-- Oh!
568
00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:29,953
Oh.
569
00:21:29,955 --> 00:21:31,721
Arch,
570
00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:32,722
you still need evidence.
571
00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:34,291
What are you talking about?
572
00:21:34,293 --> 00:21:36,193
Look at all
they put me through, huh.
573
00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:37,827
Look at the way I hurt all over.
574
00:21:37,829 --> 00:21:40,530
What about the sworn testiphony
of your mother-in-law there?
575
00:21:40,532 --> 00:21:42,766
That's evidence, buddy.
We got a case.
576
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:44,034
And let me tell you something.
577
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:47,737
A case like that could be worth
20, 25, 50 grand.
578
00:21:47,739 --> 00:21:49,273
I'm gonna make
them mushroom people
579
00:21:49,275 --> 00:21:50,908
put their mouth
where their money is.
580
00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:52,142
What do you mean by that?
581
00:21:52,144 --> 00:21:53,743
I mean that the bosses
of that company
582
00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:55,145
ought to taste
every mouthful of food
583
00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:57,281
before it leaves the factory.
584
00:21:57,283 --> 00:21:59,349
How are they gonna do that?
585
00:21:59,351 --> 00:22:00,617
What do you mean, how?
586
00:22:00,619 --> 00:22:02,219
Ain't you never heard
of the olden days,
587
00:22:02,221 --> 00:22:03,486
in the days of kings?
588
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:05,923
The king used to have a
special cook to taste the food.
589
00:22:05,925 --> 00:22:09,092
If the cook dropped down dead,
the king says, "Hey..."
590
00:22:10,795 --> 00:22:12,396
Then the king went back
to the kitchen
591
00:22:12,398 --> 00:22:14,097
and made a sandwich
for himself.
592
00:22:15,233 --> 00:22:17,301
Daddy, I think I found it.
593
00:22:17,303 --> 00:22:20,437
Is this them? Rabinowitz,
Rabinowitz & Rabinowitz?
594
00:22:20,439 --> 00:22:24,007
That's them,
the three wise men.
595
00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:25,242
Now, Meathead,
596
00:22:25,244 --> 00:22:27,144
you're gonna see some
swift legal action.
597
00:22:27,146 --> 00:22:28,845
Get them on the blower
for me there.
598
00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:30,080
At this time of night?
599
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,748
Go on. They've got
an answering service.
600
00:22:31,750 --> 00:22:32,983
Get them on
the phone there.
601
00:22:32,985 --> 00:22:34,651
You wait and see now.
602
00:22:35,786 --> 00:22:36,853
[SNEEZES]
603
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:38,355
Ah, don't be spraying
into the phone.
604
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,691
What do you want to do?
Give the three Jews the flu?
605
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,427
Give it to me, here.
606
00:22:43,429 --> 00:22:47,864
Archie, I got
the most wonderful news.
607
00:22:47,866 --> 00:22:50,100
Save it, save it,
I'm dialing a number here.
608
00:22:50,102 --> 00:22:51,734
At Ferguson's just now,
609
00:22:51,736 --> 00:22:55,105
I saw some of the same mushrooms
you had for dinner,
610
00:22:55,107 --> 00:22:56,573
and I brought
some of them home.
611
00:22:56,575 --> 00:22:57,774
Oh-ho-ho,
great work, Edith.
612
00:22:57,776 --> 00:22:59,109
You hear that?
613
00:22:59,111 --> 00:23:01,111
Your mother-in-law just brought
home the poisoned evidence.
614
00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:03,180
Wait. I thought
they were all recalled.
615
00:23:03,182 --> 00:23:05,115
Only the Poconos, Mike.
616
00:23:05,117 --> 00:23:06,916
That's the good news.
617
00:23:06,918 --> 00:23:10,687
The mushrooms you ate, Archie,
were Top Caps, see?
618
00:23:10,689 --> 00:23:13,323
Hold on. Is this the service--?
Hold on just a second. What?
619
00:23:13,325 --> 00:23:16,259
They got the same pink label
as the Poconos,
620
00:23:16,261 --> 00:23:18,495
but the yellow is just
a special sticker
621
00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:20,864
that says "3 for 59."
622
00:23:20,866 --> 00:23:22,799
Ain't it wonderful,
Archie?
623
00:23:22,801 --> 00:23:26,736
You weren't poisoned
at all.
624
00:23:26,738 --> 00:23:29,973
"You weren't poisoned
at all."
625
00:23:31,509 --> 00:23:35,678
Tell Rabinowitz forget it.
We ain't got no case!
626
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,347
That's wonderful, Edith.
627
00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:39,216
Do you know
what you done to us?
628
00:23:39,218 --> 00:23:43,253
You just cost us $50,000.
629
00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:44,754
I'm sorry, Archie.
630
00:23:44,756 --> 00:23:46,223
And where does
that leave me?
631
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:47,624
Walking around here
632
00:23:47,626 --> 00:23:51,028
with a lot of that antitoxin
cruising through my system,
633
00:23:51,030 --> 00:23:53,930
looking for some disease
to attack.
634
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:58,368
Arch,
better luck next time.
635
00:23:58,370 --> 00:24:00,703
Arggh!
636
00:24:10,314 --> 00:24:11,381
Mm-mm-mm.
637
00:24:11,383 --> 00:24:13,316
Ma, this mushroom omelet
is great.
638
00:24:13,318 --> 00:24:15,452
Daddy, you ought to
try yours.
639
00:24:15,454 --> 00:24:17,687
I mean, why waste
the shot you had?
640
00:24:21,725 --> 00:24:25,529
It's good to see you
eating again, Gloria.
641
00:24:25,531 --> 00:24:28,565
I'm glad you shook off
that terrible cold.
642
00:24:28,567 --> 00:24:32,635
Ah, clamp up, will you?
Clamp up.
643
00:24:32,637 --> 00:24:37,006
She shook off the cold
and then she shook it onto me.
644
00:24:39,544 --> 00:24:41,978
[SNEEZES]
645
00:25:04,902 --> 00:25:07,604
["REMEMBERING YOU" PLAYING]
646
00:25:07,606 --> 00:25:11,575
ANNOUNCER:
All in the Family was recordedon tape before a live audience.
647
00:25:11,625 --> 00:25:16,175
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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