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♪ Boy, the way
Glenn Miller played ♪
2
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340
♪ Songs that made
The Hit Parade ♪
3
00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011
♪ Guys like us
We had it made ♪
4
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280
♪ Those were the days ♪
5
00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:20,284
♪ And you knewWhere you were then ♪
6
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,622
♪ Girls were girlsAnd men were men ♪
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00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,394
♪ Mister, we could use a manLike Herbert Hoover again ♪
8
00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,363
♪ Didn't needNo welfare state ♪
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00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,534
♪ Everybody pulledHis weight ♪
10
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,872
♪ Gee, our old LaSalleRan great ♪
11
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:46,678
♪ Those were the days ♪
12
00:00:54,887 --> 00:00:56,721
Mm, Ma, that smells good.
What are you making?
13
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:58,657
Beef stroganoff.
14
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:00,091
Beef stroganoff
for Archie?
15
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:01,292
Ma, you know he says
16
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:03,128
anything but meat
and potatoes makes him sick.
17
00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:07,532
Well, I'll just tell him
it's Yankee stew.
18
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:10,268
See, Archie don't
get sick on food,
19
00:01:10,270 --> 00:01:11,502
just on names.
20
00:01:14,406 --> 00:01:15,640
That figures.
21
00:01:15,642 --> 00:01:17,842
Like, he won't eat
kidney beans
22
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:19,010
because of the name.
23
00:01:20,345 --> 00:01:23,648
And we never have
rump roast.
24
00:01:25,284 --> 00:01:26,885
Uh, Ma, this has
sour cream in it.
25
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,019
Archie hates sour cream.
26
00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:30,388
Well, he won't know
the difference
27
00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,590
once he puts ketchup on it.
28
00:01:32,592 --> 00:01:34,159
GLORIA:
Hello?
29
00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:36,061
Oh, Gloria!
30
00:01:36,063 --> 00:01:38,830
Hey! Boy, am I glad to see you!
31
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:39,964
Hi!
Hi, honey.
32
00:01:39,966 --> 00:01:41,166
You going to stay
home tonight?
33
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,568
No, I have to be back
at the store at 9:00.
34
00:01:43,570 --> 00:01:45,369
How long is that damn
inventory going to take?
35
00:01:45,371 --> 00:01:46,437
I don't know, Michael.
36
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,940
We're reorganizing
the whole store.
37
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:51,076
We could be finished tonight,
tomorrow-- I don't know.
38
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,911
Gloria,
it's been two weeks since we...
39
00:01:52,913 --> 00:01:54,579
I know, Michael.
40
00:01:57,049 --> 00:01:58,649
But what can I do?
41
00:01:58,651 --> 00:02:01,552
Try waking me up
when you come home.
42
00:02:03,555 --> 00:02:04,823
Michael,
it's so late
43
00:02:04,825 --> 00:02:06,091
and I'm tired.
44
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:09,493
Gloria, it's
unhealthy this way.
45
00:02:09,495 --> 00:02:12,630
It's only been two weeks,
Michael.
46
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:14,332
I mean, what do monks do?
47
00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:16,067
Monks pray a lot.
48
00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:20,271
Try to be
a little understanding, Michael.
49
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,706
Oh, I'm sorry.
50
00:02:21,708 --> 00:02:24,075
We'll be finished
at the store soon.
51
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,376
Yeah.
52
00:02:25,378 --> 00:02:27,078
I'm gonna go upstairs
and change clothes now.
53
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,479
I'll help you.
54
00:02:44,329 --> 00:02:46,564
All right, everybody,
let's get it in here!
55
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:47,899
Edith, come on, Edith!
56
00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,100
Mike and Gloria,
where are you?
57
00:02:49,102 --> 00:02:50,501
Archie, what is it?
What's the matter?
58
00:02:50,503 --> 00:02:52,103
Hurry up, now. Come
on here! Come on!
59
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:53,104
I'm timing you.
60
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:54,105
Hey, let's go.
61
00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:56,440
Hold it!
62
00:02:56,442 --> 00:02:57,842
I was just timing
all of you.
63
00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,443
See how long it'd take
all of youse
64
00:02:59,445 --> 00:03:01,445
to get in here
and give me the big hello.
65
00:03:01,447 --> 00:03:03,047
The loving spouse made it
in two seconds,
66
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:04,649
the little girl made it
in three seconds,
67
00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:07,285
and Meathead, as usual,
brung up the rear there
68
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:08,887
at four and 2/10 seconds.
69
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:14,793
Archie, you got
a beautiful new watch.
70
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,594
Oh, Edith, beautiful
ain't the word.
71
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:20,098
That there is a genuine
100% chromonometer there.
72
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:22,433
Look at all
those dials.
73
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:23,601
Look at them, little girl.
74
00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:25,069
Count them.
Seven of them, seven.
75
00:03:25,071 --> 00:03:29,373
Is there anything there
that tells you what time it is?
76
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,242
Ah, jeez, Edith, certainly!
77
00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:33,278
The big hands tell you the time.
78
00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:35,280
But see, that ain't all
this watch tells you, see?
79
00:03:35,282 --> 00:03:36,881
This is what you
call one of them
80
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:37,949
round-the-world
watches, right?
81
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,350
Over here, I can tell
82
00:03:39,352 --> 00:03:41,585
that it's morning
in China, see that?
83
00:03:41,587 --> 00:03:44,555
Right at this moment,
800 million Chinks
84
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:47,258
is sitting down
to breakfast.
85
00:03:47,260 --> 00:03:48,759
Archie,
in the first place,
86
00:03:48,761 --> 00:03:50,094
they are called Chinese.
87
00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:52,263
That's what I said, Chinks.
88
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:56,134
And other things
this watch can tell you.
89
00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,302
Like, for instance,
90
00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:59,337
do you know what shape
the moon is in tonight?
91
00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:01,039
No, but I'll look.
92
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,373
Get back here, Edith!
93
00:04:02,375 --> 00:04:03,374
Get back here.
94
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,376
Let the watch
tell you that.
95
00:04:05,378 --> 00:04:07,645
I can read it right over here,
see?
96
00:04:07,647 --> 00:04:09,547
Tonight, the moon
is in the quarter phase.
97
00:04:09,549 --> 00:04:11,149
See, that's the whole point
of this watch.
98
00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,417
With this watch, you never have
to look at the moon again.
99
00:04:14,786 --> 00:04:15,786
Look at that.
100
00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:17,588
It's got
the date on it.
101
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:20,524
I'll tell you what it's got
on it, little girl.
102
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:23,794
See there?
It's got the date on it.
103
00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:24,829
It's right here in that--
104
00:04:24,831 --> 00:04:26,364
They call that
the calendar part, see?
105
00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:27,531
[BUZZING]
106
00:04:27,533 --> 00:04:28,666
What's that?
107
00:04:28,668 --> 00:04:29,834
A-ha.
108
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,103
That there is the alarm.
109
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,604
That's for suppertime, see?
110
00:04:33,606 --> 00:04:35,206
And that's the alarm
you're going to hear
111
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:36,407
every night around this time,
Edith,
112
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,442
to show you that supper
should be on the table.
113
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:41,812
Well, suppose
I'm in another room,
114
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,114
and I don't hear it?
115
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:44,949
Then you'll hear the old alarm,
Ma.
116
00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,451
"Edith, get supper
on the table!"
117
00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:51,856
Archie, that sounded
just like you.
118
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,057
Oh, really?
119
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:54,625
Then why don't it
make you move?
120
00:04:54,627 --> 00:04:56,261
Oh!
"Oh!"
121
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,062
I tell you what.
I'm going to time you.
122
00:04:58,064 --> 00:05:00,464
I'll give you five minutes
to get supper on the table.
123
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:01,866
ARCHIE: Hold it,
hold it, hold it.
124
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:04,468
Get ready. Get set. Go!
125
00:05:06,471 --> 00:05:08,806
Oh, Daddy.
126
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,674
Why do you make Ma
run like that?
127
00:05:10,676 --> 00:05:12,443
What are you talking
about? She loves this.
128
00:05:12,445 --> 00:05:14,078
Daddy,
you're hopeless. Ahh!
129
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:16,014
Arch, where'd you get that watch
anyway?
130
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,315
I got it off of a friend.
131
00:05:28,060 --> 00:05:29,260
See that? What'd I tell you?
132
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:32,130
She loves it.
She's pretty fast too.
133
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:33,597
Arch, what friend?
134
00:05:33,599 --> 00:05:36,434
Oh, a guy by the name
of Tommy Macklin.
135
00:05:36,436 --> 00:05:40,738
This here is a 300-buck
registered Omega.
136
00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,006
Daddy, what would
make you buy
137
00:05:42,008 --> 00:05:43,874
an expensive watch
like that?
138
00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:45,276
Because the guy
come up to me,
139
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,277
he said he's got
140
00:05:46,279 --> 00:05:47,278
his mother
in the hospital,
141
00:05:47,280 --> 00:05:48,579
he needed a little
extra cash.
142
00:05:48,581 --> 00:05:50,348
How am I doing, Archie?
143
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,849
ARCHIE: Oh, take it
easy there, Edith.
144
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,685
You better save a little steam
for the home stretch.
145
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,220
Oh, thank you.
146
00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:57,888
Gee, Daddy, that was
really sweet of you
147
00:05:57,890 --> 00:05:59,257
to help a friend
like that.
148
00:05:59,259 --> 00:06:01,292
What did your father do?
149
00:06:01,294 --> 00:06:03,594
He gave a friend
$300 for that watch.
150
00:06:03,596 --> 00:06:07,031
Archie, that's a lot of money.
151
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:08,166
Hold it, Edith.
152
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,601
I didn't pay no $300
for the watch.
153
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:12,437
Well, didn't you say
it was a $300 watch?
154
00:06:12,439 --> 00:06:14,638
Yeah, but I didn't say
I paid that much.
155
00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,574
Ain't you never heard
of bargains?
156
00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:18,209
The guy gave me
a little off.
157
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,810
Oh, then how much
did it cost, Daddy?
158
00:06:19,812 --> 00:06:22,646
Twenty-five dollars.
159
00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:25,149
That's not a bargain,
that's a steal.
160
00:06:25,151 --> 00:06:26,584
A steal!
161
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,853
That don't sound right to me.
162
00:06:28,855 --> 00:06:30,554
The clock is running on you,
Edith.
163
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,590
Oh.
164
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,425
Your friend Tommy
165
00:06:34,427 --> 00:06:36,260
has a sick mother
in the hospital
166
00:06:36,262 --> 00:06:39,330
and all you gave him
for a watch like that was $25?
167
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:40,798
Wait a minute there,
little girl.
168
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,600
I didn't want the watch
in the first place.
169
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,036
The guy comes up to me.
He wants to sell it there.
170
00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:46,270
He asked $25.
171
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:48,806
What am I supposed to do,
bargain him up?
172
00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:50,108
Dinner's ready!
173
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:51,709
Hey! I think
you done that
174
00:06:51,711 --> 00:06:53,044
in a little under
five minutes.
175
00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,313
Well, that was good,
wasn't it, Archie?
176
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:57,315
Well, it's time that
could be improved,
177
00:06:57,317 --> 00:06:58,616
you know?
178
00:06:58,618 --> 00:07:00,518
Maybe I'll buy you
a pair of sneakers.
179
00:07:01,853 --> 00:07:03,021
Daddy, how can
you face
180
00:07:03,023 --> 00:07:04,555
your friend Tommy
at work
181
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:05,623
with you wearing
his watch?
182
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,225
I don't have
to face him at all.
183
00:07:07,227 --> 00:07:08,926
He works way
over Pier 48.
184
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,728
You mean he works
on the docks?
185
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:11,862
That's right.
186
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:13,131
Well, then that explains it.
187
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,365
What does it explain?
188
00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,035
Arch, the docks
is New York's famous grab bag.
189
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,836
They unload things there
and they disappear.
190
00:07:18,838 --> 00:07:20,038
Tommy sold you a hot watch.
191
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,839
Get out of here.
192
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:23,641
Come on, weren't you suspicious?
193
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:26,444
I mean, why would a guy sell you
a $300 watch for 25 bucks?
194
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:28,946
Listen, wise guy, a guy
comes and offers me a deal,
195
00:07:28,948 --> 00:07:30,248
I don't ask no questions.
196
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:32,683
I know. I know you don't ask
any questions.
197
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:35,119
Nobody does, and that's
what's wrong with this country.
198
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,987
Ah, jeez,
he's off on "the country" again!
199
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,989
That's right. That's right.
200
00:07:38,991 --> 00:07:40,191
Nobody's asking questions
anymore.
201
00:07:40,193 --> 00:07:41,592
Let me ask you a question.
202
00:07:41,594 --> 00:07:42,593
MIKE: What?
203
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:43,761
Why don't you shut up?
204
00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,363
You see? That's it.
205
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:47,131
That's exactly
what I'm talking about.
206
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:49,067
Nobody cares. Not even Congress.
207
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,668
President Nixon
does whatever he wants
208
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:52,270
and Congress
lets him get away with it.
209
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,404
They don't ask any questions.
210
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,638
What are you talking about?
211
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,274
Congress can ask Mr. Nixon
anything they want.
212
00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,076
Sure, they can,
but it won't do any good.
213
00:07:58,078 --> 00:07:58,943
He never answers anyone.
214
00:08:00,512 --> 00:08:01,612
I don't blame him.
215
00:08:01,614 --> 00:08:03,847
They're all
a bunch of dumbbells.
216
00:08:03,849 --> 00:08:05,483
I go along with my president.
217
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,718
Ask me no questions,
I'll tell you no lies.
218
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,056
So what are you saying?
219
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,558
We shouldn't ask you
any questions
220
00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,293
about hot watches?
221
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,727
Will you cut that out?
222
00:08:16,729 --> 00:08:17,828
This ain't no hot watch.
223
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:19,564
And don't be casting
no dispersions
224
00:08:19,566 --> 00:08:21,566
on the guy that sold me
the watch, Tommy Macklin,
225
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,033
because everybody
who knows Tommy
226
00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:25,436
knows that he's as square
a guy as they come.
227
00:08:25,438 --> 00:08:27,438
I tell you something
about Tommy:
228
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,706
He used to be in jail.
229
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:30,941
That makes him
a square guy?
230
00:08:30,943 --> 00:08:33,811
Will you let me
finish the story?
231
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,413
It so happens
the man was framed.
232
00:08:35,415 --> 00:08:36,581
How do you know that?
233
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,816
Because he told me that.
234
00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:41,319
Oh, well, then.
235
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:42,920
Yeah, see how it is
talking to you?
236
00:08:42,922 --> 00:08:44,589
That's you all over.
237
00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:46,390
That's your, what do you
call it, attitude, see?
238
00:08:46,392 --> 00:08:47,558
You're prejudiced
against Tommy Macklin
239
00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:48,959
because you know
he's a white guy.
240
00:08:48,961 --> 00:08:50,261
I don't know anything about him.
241
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,663
I just told you
he was a white guy.
242
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:53,664
MIKE: So?
243
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:54,665
That's why you hate him.
244
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,033
What?
245
00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:57,635
You are prejudiced
against white people.
246
00:08:57,637 --> 00:08:58,636
Don't tell me no--
247
00:08:58,638 --> 00:08:59,637
You're crazy!
248
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:01,071
I ain't crazy!
249
00:09:01,073 --> 00:09:03,374
If I told you that Tommy Macklin
was a black guy,
250
00:09:03,376 --> 00:09:05,009
you'd be crying tears
and saying,
251
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,910
"Oh, give the poor ex-con
a chance."
252
00:09:06,912 --> 00:09:09,113
But you know he's a white guy,
so you're against him.
253
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,981
Well,
I ain't prejudiced that way.
254
00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:14,885
I ain't prejudiced
against no man
255
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:18,956
just because his skin
is the same color as my own.
256
00:09:21,226 --> 00:09:26,364
Yeah, Archie has
lots of white friends.
257
00:09:26,366 --> 00:09:29,800
You're damn right,
and I'm gonna get more.
258
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:32,403
I'll tell you why
I really bought this watch.
259
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,738
It's because I wanted
to show Tommy Macklin
260
00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:36,240
that somebody
in this world
261
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,508
had a little
faith in him.
262
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,177
Oh, sure.
How sweet.
263
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,578
Ah, well, I can't
talk to you.
264
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:41,979
What the hell
am I eating here?
265
00:09:43,148 --> 00:09:46,016
Yankee stew.
266
00:09:46,018 --> 00:09:49,053
Well, the Yankees
struck out.
267
00:09:49,055 --> 00:09:50,588
Pass me the ketchup.
268
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:53,757
Oh, Daddy, you'd put
ketchup on a donut.
269
00:09:53,759 --> 00:09:56,260
If it needed it.
270
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:57,595
I'll tell you
something else
271
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,663
about this here
watch, Edith.
272
00:09:58,665 --> 00:10:00,264
This is kind of,
what do you call,
273
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,332
an investment,
you know?
274
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:02,533
Any time we're
short of cash,
275
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,134
I can run over
to a hock shop,
276
00:10:04,136 --> 00:10:06,337
turn this in and get at
least $150 on it, huh?
277
00:10:06,339 --> 00:10:08,606
Wouldn't that be
taking a chance? Why?
278
00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:12,142
Arch, you said so yourself.
The watch is registered, right?
279
00:10:12,144 --> 00:10:13,744
You take that
down to a hock shop,
280
00:10:13,746 --> 00:10:15,145
that guy checks
the serial number
281
00:10:15,147 --> 00:10:17,081
against a police list
of stolen goods.
282
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:18,616
If it's hot, they got you.
283
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:23,521
Look at you, waving that fork
around at the table.
284
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,523
Like I told you a long time ago,
285
00:10:25,525 --> 00:10:28,792
you are a person
of very little quality.
286
00:10:31,796 --> 00:10:35,666
[BUZZING]
287
00:10:35,668 --> 00:10:37,268
What are you
timing now, Daddy?
288
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:38,269
I ain't timing nothing.
289
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:39,537
It went on
by itself there.
290
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:40,571
[BUZZING FADES]
291
00:10:40,573 --> 00:10:41,972
Jeez, I wonder why
it done that.
292
00:10:41,974 --> 00:10:44,442
Listen to that.
It went off by itself.
293
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:47,044
Hey. Don't tell me there's
something wrong with it.
294
00:10:47,046 --> 00:10:49,113
Let me listen.
Shh. Shush!
295
00:10:51,950 --> 00:10:54,318
I don't hear
nothing at all here.
296
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,086
Aw, now, don't tell me
297
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,489
the watch
is busted already.
298
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,291
Oh, yeah, now we'll never know
299
00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:02,192
when the Chinese
have finished breakfast.
300
00:11:10,335 --> 00:11:12,136
I wonder what
happened to it.
301
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:13,738
I think I know
what happened to it.
302
00:11:13,740 --> 00:11:14,938
I had the ketchup
up here.
303
00:11:14,940 --> 00:11:16,540
I was pounding it
here on the bottom.
304
00:11:16,542 --> 00:11:17,742
It must have
busted a spring
305
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:19,243
or turned something
loose in there,
306
00:11:19,245 --> 00:11:20,611
and, Edith,
that's your fault
307
00:11:20,613 --> 00:11:23,414
for not loosening up
that ketchup!
308
00:11:23,416 --> 00:11:24,448
Oh, I'm sorry,
Archie,
309
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,751
but it's supposed
to come out slow.
310
00:11:26,753 --> 00:11:32,222
It's Heinz, the slowest
ketchup in the West.
311
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:33,791
Ain't that
a shame, now?
312
00:11:33,793 --> 00:11:35,058
I just got the watch.
313
00:11:35,060 --> 00:11:36,260
I hardly start wearing it,
314
00:11:36,262 --> 00:11:38,462
and now I gotta take it in
to be fixed.
315
00:11:38,464 --> 00:11:40,063
You going to take it
to a jeweler?
316
00:11:40,065 --> 00:11:43,367
No, Meathead, I'm going to take
it into a garage for a lube job.
317
00:11:43,369 --> 00:11:45,369
Certainly, I'm going
to take it in to a jeweler.
318
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,705
Aw, Daddy, I wouldn't
do that if I were you,
319
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,407
because if it's stolen,
you're in trouble.
320
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,676
I told you, little girl,
the watch ain't stolen.
321
00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:53,444
Yeah, but what if
the jeweler checks
322
00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:54,779
the serial number
with the police
323
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:56,280
and it turns out
to be stolen?
324
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,882
Oh, come on, "turns out to be."
Anything could turn out to be.
325
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:00,384
That's what we're trying
to tell you.
326
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:04,422
I saw something once
about a watch on Mannix.
327
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,423
ARCHIE:
Yeah, what?
328
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:07,692
Or was it Let's Make a Deal?
329
00:12:07,694 --> 00:12:09,460
Aw, leave me alone,
will you?
330
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,961
Daddy, if it's stolen,
331
00:12:10,963 --> 00:12:13,497
what are you going
to tell the police?
332
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,399
Well, if it was stolen,
which it ain't,
333
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:16,801
I would just say
to the cops--
334
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:17,868
I would say, uh,
335
00:12:17,870 --> 00:12:19,269
"I bought it
off of a guy,
336
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:20,871
and I don't know
nothing more about it."
337
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:23,273
What if the cops find out
that that guy is Tommy Macklin,
338
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:24,475
they put the heat on him
339
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,076
and he says
you know everything about it?
340
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:28,078
Then they got you
as a receiver of stolen goods.
341
00:12:28,080 --> 00:12:31,114
That's right.
342
00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:34,952
How come everything you cook
gives me heartburn?!
343
00:12:34,954 --> 00:12:35,953
Where's the bicarb of soda?
344
00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:37,321
Oh, I'll get it
for you, Archie.
345
00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:42,192
Oh, jeez, isn't this awful?
346
00:12:42,194 --> 00:12:44,362
Archie, you ain't
really worried
347
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,764
about that watch,
are you?
348
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:49,233
No, Edith,
only that it's broke.
349
00:12:49,235 --> 00:12:51,268
I mean, you wouldn't
buy a watch
350
00:12:51,270 --> 00:12:52,636
if you knew
it was stolen,
351
00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:53,771
would you?
352
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,640
You know me better than that,
Edith.
353
00:13:00,011 --> 00:13:02,346
I ain't never
heard you talk
354
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,782
about Tommy Macklin
before.
355
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,684
Have you known him
a long time?
356
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,919
Oh, yeah, yeah,
long, long.
357
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:10,087
How long?
358
00:13:10,089 --> 00:13:11,455
A week.
359
00:13:25,470 --> 00:13:26,336
Edith?
360
00:13:28,740 --> 00:13:30,107
You out there, Edith?
361
00:13:34,813 --> 00:13:37,180
Uh, Gloria, Mike, you upstairs?
362
00:13:54,332 --> 00:13:56,333
Uh, hello, Joe Bropy?
363
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:57,701
Uh, my name is Archie Bunker.
364
00:13:57,703 --> 00:13:59,069
I'm a friend
of Stretch Cunningham's.
365
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:01,204
I work with him.
366
00:14:01,206 --> 00:14:03,507
Yeah, yeah, he's a nice guy.
367
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:06,944
Uh, Joe, uh, Stretch tells me
that you got a cousin
368
00:14:06,946 --> 00:14:09,747
that buys and sells
and fixes jewelry
369
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:12,116
with no questions asked.
370
00:14:14,719 --> 00:14:17,855
Good. Well,
where can I get ahold of him?
371
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:20,457
Huh?
372
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:22,225
Oh, yeah? For how long?
373
00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:29,900
No, no,
I got to get somebody fast.
374
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:32,036
I can't wait 1 to 10.
375
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,037
Bye.
376
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,905
[DOORBELL RINGS]
377
00:14:38,609 --> 00:14:40,110
Hi, Mr. Bunker.
378
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:41,511
Oh, hiya, Lionel,
come on in.
379
00:14:41,513 --> 00:14:42,512
Here's your
cleaning.
380
00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:44,114
Uh, do me a favor
and stick it
381
00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:45,315
in the closet
there, will you?
382
00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:46,316
Is Mrs. Bunker
around?
383
00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:47,785
She usually pays me
on Friday nights.
384
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,019
Oh, no, she's out
somewhere,
385
00:14:49,021 --> 00:14:50,420
but she'll catch up
with you, Lionel.
386
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:51,421
Okay. See you.
387
00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,090
Lionel, as long
as you're here,
388
00:14:53,092 --> 00:14:54,491
there's something
I'd like to ask you.
389
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:55,592
Yeah?
390
00:14:55,594 --> 00:14:57,327
Yeah, it's something
that I've been
391
00:14:57,329 --> 00:14:58,328
wondering about
for a while.
392
00:14:58,330 --> 00:15:00,197
Uh-huh.
393
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:07,104
Lionel, uh,
you know them riots
394
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:08,839
youse people
are always going to?
395
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:11,075
We people?
396
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,542
I don't mean you
personally,
397
00:15:12,544 --> 00:15:14,377
I mean, you know,
the troublemakers.
398
00:15:14,379 --> 00:15:15,445
Oh, them other people.
399
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:16,914
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
400
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,549
Now, when they go
to these here riots,
401
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:21,251
don't they, uh,
every now and then
402
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:22,586
break into jewelry stores?
403
00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:23,987
Oh, yeah, yeah.
404
00:15:23,989 --> 00:15:27,191
They don't want
nobody to feel left out.
405
00:15:27,193 --> 00:15:28,892
Yeah. Well...
406
00:15:28,894 --> 00:15:31,028
A guy busts
into a jewelry store there,
407
00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:32,629
and he whips a watch,
see, and then,
408
00:15:32,631 --> 00:15:35,933
in all the excitement
of, uh, running away, uh,
409
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:37,267
the watch gets damaged.
410
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,535
Like, for instance,
411
00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,537
if a cop comes up
and he's got a club,
412
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:42,339
and he takes a swing
at the guy's head
413
00:15:42,341 --> 00:15:44,208
and by accident
he hits the watch.
414
00:15:44,210 --> 00:15:45,575
You can see
that happening?
415
00:15:45,577 --> 00:15:46,710
Oh, sure, yeah.
416
00:15:46,712 --> 00:15:48,812
That's what gives riots
a bad name.
417
00:15:50,749 --> 00:15:52,950
Look, please, sit down.
418
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:56,186
Suppose a guy has got
that kind of a watch, see?
419
00:15:56,188 --> 00:15:57,221
It's damaged.
420
00:15:57,223 --> 00:15:58,989
Now, where would he go
421
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:01,959
to get it fixed, like,
uh, on the q.t.?
422
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,794
Oh, well, I wouldn't know
about them places.
423
00:16:03,796 --> 00:16:06,063
Lionel, I don't mean you.
424
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,665
I thought maybe you had
some friend who might know.
425
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:10,700
No, my friends don't fool
with small stuff.
426
00:16:10,702 --> 00:16:12,002
They're more into
air conditioners,
427
00:16:12,004 --> 00:16:14,872
TV sets, stereos.
428
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,907
Never a watch?
429
00:16:16,909 --> 00:16:21,011
No, but if you want to put in
a order for the next riot...
430
00:16:21,013 --> 00:16:24,514
Lionel, Lionel,
be serious here, will you?
431
00:16:24,516 --> 00:16:27,284
It so happens
I got a very close friend, see?
432
00:16:27,286 --> 00:16:29,920
And he just got ahold
of this expensive watch.
433
00:16:29,922 --> 00:16:31,121
He got it in a riot?
434
00:16:31,123 --> 00:16:32,856
No, no, no. He's a white guy.
435
00:16:32,858 --> 00:16:33,723
Oh.
436
00:16:38,062 --> 00:16:40,597
He got ahold of this watch,
like, just yesterday,
437
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:41,598
and now it's broke.
438
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,233
And I want to know, I mean,
439
00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:45,035
where could he get it fixed
off the record?
440
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:46,503
Why don't he ask the police?
441
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,605
No, no, got to keep
the cops out of this.
442
00:16:48,607 --> 00:16:50,073
Why?
443
00:16:50,075 --> 00:16:52,409
From what I've been reading,
the cops got great connections.
444
00:16:53,678 --> 00:16:55,112
Now, hold it, Lionel, hold it.
445
00:16:55,114 --> 00:16:56,914
I think I know
what you're getting at there.
446
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,516
Now, that ain't exactly fair.
447
00:16:59,518 --> 00:17:02,186
We all know there's
a couple of cops on the take.
448
00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,188
You don't want to go blaming
the whole police department
449
00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,622
for a couple of rotten apples.
450
00:17:05,624 --> 00:17:07,724
Oh!
451
00:17:07,726 --> 00:17:09,392
So-- So what you're saying is,
452
00:17:09,394 --> 00:17:11,661
don't condemn
a whole group of people
453
00:17:11,663 --> 00:17:14,264
for the actions of a few?
454
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:16,633
That's right, Lionel.
You gotta remember that.
455
00:17:16,635 --> 00:17:19,303
Oh, I will. I will, Mr. Bunker.
456
00:17:19,305 --> 00:17:21,138
Uh, uh, let me see now.
457
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,572
"Don't condemn a whole
group of people
458
00:17:22,574 --> 00:17:24,074
for the actions
of just a few."
459
00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:26,109
Yeah, you got it, Lionel.
What about the watch?
460
00:17:26,111 --> 00:17:27,911
Oh, hello,
Lionel.
461
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:29,112
Hi.
462
00:17:29,114 --> 00:17:31,882
I'm glad I caught you,
because I want to pay you.
463
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,717
How much
do I owe you?
464
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:34,751
Five dollars even.
465
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:36,920
Oh, here you are,
and thanks.
466
00:17:36,922 --> 00:17:38,922
Oh, Archie, here's the
ticket for your watch.
467
00:17:38,924 --> 00:17:40,023
What?
468
00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:42,192
Your round-the-world watch.
469
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:44,328
It'll be ready
in a few days.
470
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:45,595
What did you do with it?
471
00:17:45,597 --> 00:17:47,497
Why, I took it
to Abrams Jewelers.
472
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:48,598
Why did you do that?
473
00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:50,167
You said
you wanted it fixed.
474
00:17:50,169 --> 00:17:51,801
ARCHIE:
Oh, Edith!
475
00:17:53,738 --> 00:17:55,138
Ain't that a coincidence,
Mr. Bunker?
476
00:17:55,140 --> 00:17:57,274
Your friend broke his watch
the same time you did.
477
00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:02,445
I'll see you around,
huh, Lionel?
478
00:18:02,447 --> 00:18:03,480
Bye, Lionel.
479
00:18:03,482 --> 00:18:04,614
Bye, Mrs. Bunker.
480
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:06,216
Wait, how did that go
again, Mr. Bunker?
481
00:18:06,218 --> 00:18:07,217
Uh, "don't condemn
482
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:08,218
"a whole group
of people
483
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:09,686
for the actions
of a few."
484
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:10,687
Yeah, you got it.
485
00:18:10,689 --> 00:18:11,821
Yeah, I got it.
486
00:18:11,823 --> 00:18:13,690
"Don't condemn a whole
group of people
487
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,392
for the actions of a few."
488
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:16,693
"Don't condemn..."
489
00:18:20,831 --> 00:18:22,232
Edith, why did--?
490
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:23,633
Edith, Edith,
where the hell are you?
491
00:18:23,635 --> 00:18:24,634
EDITH:
In the kitchen!
492
00:18:24,636 --> 00:18:25,903
Where was you two?
493
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,337
Upstairs.
494
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:29,273
Why didn't you answer
when I called youse?
495
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,441
We didn't hear you.
496
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,048
Edith, Edith,
do you know
497
00:18:38,050 --> 00:18:39,249
what you done to me?
498
00:18:39,251 --> 00:18:41,118
Why did you take
that watch into Abrams'?
499
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:43,253
Well, I could have
taken it to Nelson's,
500
00:18:43,255 --> 00:18:45,455
but Mrs. Abrams and I
have gotten to be
501
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:46,456
such good friends.
502
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:48,358
That ain't the point!
503
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:49,859
Edith,
Abrams had the watch all day!
504
00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:51,128
He could have opened it up,
505
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:52,930
seen the serial number there
and called the cops.
506
00:18:52,932 --> 00:18:54,932
They could be on their way
over here right now.
507
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,866
Oh, no, I don't think so.
508
00:18:56,868 --> 00:18:59,469
I don't think he's even looked
at the watch yet.
509
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:00,938
Why not?
510
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,839
Because I just took it in
10 minutes ago.
511
00:19:02,841 --> 00:19:04,975
10 minutes ago?
512
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:05,976
Yeah.
513
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,077
Oh, Edith,
I love you!
514
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,445
Oh, Archie!
515
00:19:08,447 --> 00:19:09,512
Get away from me!
516
00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:12,549
Mike, Mike!
517
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:13,550
Yeah?
518
00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:14,751
Where'd you
come from?
519
00:19:14,753 --> 00:19:15,852
Uh, the stork brought me.
520
00:19:15,854 --> 00:19:17,054
Ah, don't be a wise guy!
521
00:19:17,056 --> 00:19:18,888
Get over here!
522
00:19:18,890 --> 00:19:20,223
Get your coat on!
What for?
523
00:19:20,225 --> 00:19:21,624
Get your coat on.
What for?
524
00:19:21,626 --> 00:19:24,328
Get your coat on,
get your coat on.
525
00:19:24,330 --> 00:19:25,662
Get your coat on!
526
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:27,264
Okay! I'm getting
it on!
527
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,432
What's going on?
528
00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:31,301
Archie said
he loved me!
529
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,170
All right,
what do you want me to do?
530
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,972
I want you to go
down to Abrams Jewelry.
531
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,573
Your mother-in-law
took that watch in by mistake.
532
00:19:36,575 --> 00:19:39,242
I want you to get it back before
he sees the serial number.
533
00:19:39,244 --> 00:19:40,643
Why? You afraid it's stolen?
534
00:19:40,645 --> 00:19:42,879
No, I ain't afraid it's stolen!
535
00:19:42,881 --> 00:19:44,281
It happens to be
a beautiful watch.
536
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:46,016
I don't want
no neighborhood amateur
537
00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:47,117
messing around with it, see?
538
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,718
So hurry up down there
and get it.
539
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,087
Will you move?
I'm going.
540
00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,888
Can you move
faster? Leave me alone,
541
00:19:51,890 --> 00:19:53,090
Can you
get going? I'm going!
542
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,292
What if he already checked
the number?
543
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:57,560
Wait. Get back in here.
544
00:19:57,562 --> 00:19:58,561
What?
545
00:19:58,563 --> 00:20:00,063
Get back in here.
Archie--
546
00:20:00,065 --> 00:20:01,931
Get back in here!
Come on!
547
00:20:01,933 --> 00:20:03,266
All right, all right!
548
00:20:03,268 --> 00:20:05,268
I'm back in here,
now what?
549
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:06,669
Shut up. I'm going
to call Abrams.
550
00:20:06,671 --> 00:20:08,571
I'm going to get
him on the phone.
551
00:20:08,573 --> 00:20:09,806
It's going to be faster.
552
00:20:09,808 --> 00:20:11,208
Gloria, look up
Mr. Abrams' telephone number.
553
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,143
The number's
on the ticket.
554
00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,144
Get the ticket.
555
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:15,145
Where's the phone book?
556
00:20:15,147 --> 00:20:16,279
Get her the phone book.
557
00:20:16,281 --> 00:20:17,614
Call information.
Call information.
558
00:20:17,616 --> 00:20:18,948
I got the ticket!
559
00:20:18,950 --> 00:20:20,384
Give me the ticket.
I'm getting information.
560
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,918
She's got the ticket.
I got information.
561
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:22,952
We don't need
information.
562
00:20:22,954 --> 00:20:24,287
Hello, Abrams Jewelry
Store, please.
563
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:25,889
Give me the phone.
Give me the phone.
564
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:26,956
Daddy, you just
told me--
565
00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:28,558
We got the ticket!
Give me the phone.
566
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,360
Information, we don't need you.
We got the ticket.
567
00:20:30,362 --> 00:20:32,496
Get off the line.
I got to use it!
568
00:20:35,633 --> 00:20:36,966
Will you get
away from here
569
00:20:36,968 --> 00:20:38,301
and let her
in there?
570
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:39,936
Give me the ticket.
Get out of here!
571
00:20:39,938 --> 00:20:42,005
Read that ticket to me.
572
00:20:42,007 --> 00:20:45,375
Oh, "Abrams Jewelers,
open 9:00 to 6:00."
573
00:20:45,377 --> 00:20:47,944
No! Read me
the telephone number
574
00:20:47,946 --> 00:20:49,312
on the ticket!
575
00:20:49,314 --> 00:20:50,580
What's the difference?
It's closed anyway.
576
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,581
Huh?
It's after 6:00.
577
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:52,649
It ain't after 6:00.
578
00:20:52,651 --> 00:20:54,918
It is after 6:00.
It is after 6:00.
579
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,120
It-- It is after 6:00!
580
00:20:59,790 --> 00:21:02,292
Oh, jeez, don't you realize
what that means?
581
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:03,660
It means the Chinese
582
00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,028
are eating
breakfast again.
583
00:21:08,933 --> 00:21:09,966
[DOORBELL RINGING]
584
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:11,634
Oh, I'll get it!
585
00:21:14,405 --> 00:21:15,738
Oh, hello,
Mr. Abrams.
586
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:17,607
Hello, Mrs. Bunker.
587
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:20,143
Come in. We was just
talking about you.
588
00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:22,145
Archie,
this is Mr. Abrams.
589
00:21:22,147 --> 00:21:23,480
Yeah, Edith,
I see him there.
590
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:25,348
Get lost.
591
00:21:25,350 --> 00:21:26,516
Mr. Abrams,
592
00:21:26,518 --> 00:21:28,385
about that watch
my wife brung over.
593
00:21:28,387 --> 00:21:30,920
That's what I want
to talk to you about.
594
00:21:30,922 --> 00:21:32,755
I got bad news for you,
Mr. Bunker.
595
00:21:32,757 --> 00:21:35,225
Don't tell me no bad news.
596
00:21:35,227 --> 00:21:36,859
Let me tell you, first of all,
597
00:21:36,861 --> 00:21:38,595
I don't know nothing
about that watch.
598
00:21:38,597 --> 00:21:39,596
I know.
599
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:40,997
That's why I came to tell you
600
00:21:40,999 --> 00:21:43,700
that it's going to cost you
$21 to fix it.
601
00:21:43,702 --> 00:21:46,035
That's what you come over
to tell me?
602
00:21:46,037 --> 00:21:48,438
Jeez, I thought you were going
to come over and tell me
603
00:21:48,440 --> 00:21:50,340
that maybe the watch
was stolen or something.
604
00:21:50,342 --> 00:21:52,976
This watch?
No, absolutely not.
605
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:54,911
Well, that's good news,
Mr. Abrams!
606
00:21:54,913 --> 00:21:56,713
Do you hear that,
all of youse over there,
607
00:21:56,715 --> 00:21:58,415
and particularly you,
Meathead?
608
00:21:58,417 --> 00:21:59,882
Your record
is still perfect.
609
00:21:59,884 --> 00:22:00,750
You're wrong again.
610
00:22:02,920 --> 00:22:05,355
Mr. Abrams, you have
my authoritization
611
00:22:05,357 --> 00:22:07,690
to go ahead and fix the watch.
612
00:22:07,692 --> 00:22:09,826
Are you sure, Mr. Bunker?
613
00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:13,630
$21 is a lot of money to spend
to fix an $8 watch.
614
00:22:19,970 --> 00:22:22,506
What do you mean?
That's a $300 Omega.
615
00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:26,610
This is not an Omega.
It is "Onega."
616
00:22:26,612 --> 00:22:28,578
Huh?
With an N.
617
00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:29,779
What do you mean?
618
00:22:29,781 --> 00:22:31,814
Here, take a look.
You see?
619
00:22:31,816 --> 00:22:34,117
They've changed
the M to N,
620
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,153
and it looks like
the expensive watch.
621
00:22:36,155 --> 00:22:38,388
It's a million-dollar
racket, Mr. Bunker,
622
00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:40,190
all over the country.
623
00:22:40,192 --> 00:22:43,293
Oh, jeez, Edith.
624
00:22:43,295 --> 00:22:46,129
It's an N.
625
00:22:46,131 --> 00:22:47,397
Sorry, Mr. Bunker.
626
00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:48,532
Goodbye.
627
00:22:48,534 --> 00:22:49,633
EDITH: Goodbye.
628
00:22:49,635 --> 00:22:51,134
ARCHIE:
Oh, holy cow.
629
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:53,570
Edith, it's an N.
630
00:22:56,073 --> 00:22:58,175
I hate to admit it,
631
00:22:58,177 --> 00:22:59,976
but it looks like
I've been took.
632
00:22:59,978 --> 00:23:01,478
It's not that bad,
Arch.
633
00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:03,547
What do you mean,
it ain't that bad?
634
00:23:03,549 --> 00:23:05,882
This watch is the same
as two weeks' take-home pay.
635
00:23:05,884 --> 00:23:07,450
How do you figure
that, Daddy?
636
00:23:07,452 --> 00:23:08,718
Figure it out yourself.
637
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,187
Two weeks' take-home pay,
that's $300.
638
00:23:10,189 --> 00:23:13,523
But, Arch, you only spent $25
on an $8 watch.
639
00:23:13,525 --> 00:23:14,791
You're only
out 17 bucks.
640
00:23:14,793 --> 00:23:16,025
Use your brains, will you?
641
00:23:16,027 --> 00:23:17,727
Tommy Macklin says
it's a $300 watch.
642
00:23:17,729 --> 00:23:19,362
I give him $25 for it.
643
00:23:19,364 --> 00:23:22,499
$25 from $300 is $275 I'm out!
644
00:23:22,501 --> 00:23:26,636
You're wrong.
You're wrong.
645
00:23:26,638 --> 00:23:28,405
I ain't wrong, you dumbbell!
I'm right!
646
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:30,106
All right, all right.
647
00:23:30,108 --> 00:23:31,341
You want to be right?
Yeah.
648
00:23:31,343 --> 00:23:32,942
I'll show you
how you can be right.
649
00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:35,078
You spend the $21,
you get the watch fixed.
650
00:23:35,080 --> 00:23:36,613
You've already spent 25,
651
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:39,115
so for a $46 investment,
you got your $300 watch back.
652
00:23:50,394 --> 00:23:51,994
Maybe you got something there.
653
00:23:51,996 --> 00:23:53,796
Sure.
654
00:23:53,798 --> 00:23:57,967
But the watch is
still only worth $8.
655
00:23:57,969 --> 00:23:58,968
Huh?
656
00:23:58,970 --> 00:24:00,803
That's what
Mr. Abrams said.
657
00:24:05,843 --> 00:24:09,379
Boy, are you stupid.
658
00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:10,747
I'm stupid?
659
00:24:10,749 --> 00:24:12,749
You're the one
who's stupid!
660
00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:14,618
[ALL YELLING AND LAUGHING]
661
00:24:21,859 --> 00:24:24,961
I can't get over
it being tonight here
662
00:24:24,963 --> 00:24:27,664
and tomorrow morning
in China.
663
00:24:27,666 --> 00:24:30,066
Well, it's the different
time zones, Ma.
664
00:24:30,068 --> 00:24:32,269
It's like, uh, well,
it's three hours earlier
665
00:24:32,271 --> 00:24:34,036
on the West Coast
than it is here.
666
00:24:34,038 --> 00:24:35,639
Yeah, for instance,
if you left New York
667
00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:37,274
on a plane that flew
fast enough,
668
00:24:37,276 --> 00:24:39,309
you could meet yourself
landing in California.
669
00:24:39,311 --> 00:24:44,414
Oh, my. I wonder
what I'd say to myself.
670
00:24:46,150 --> 00:24:48,318
You'd say, uh,
"Hello, Dingbat."
671
00:25:06,937 --> 00:25:08,471
[♪]
672
00:25:10,474 --> 00:25:34,831
ANNOUNCER:
All in the Family was recordedon tape before a live audience.
673
00:25:34,881 --> 00:25:39,431
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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