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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,835 --> 00:00:05,670 ♪ Boy, the way Glenn Miller played ♪ 2 00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:09,340 ♪ Songs that made The Hit Parade ♪ 3 00:00:09,342 --> 00:00:13,011 ♪ Guys like us We had it made ♪ 4 00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,280 ♪ Those were the days ♪ 5 00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:20,284 ♪ And you knew Where you were then ♪ 6 00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,622 ♪ Girls were girls And men were men ♪ 7 00:00:23,624 --> 00:00:30,394 ♪ Mister, we could use a man Like Herbert Hoover again ♪ 8 00:00:30,396 --> 00:00:32,363 ♪ Didn't need No welfare state ♪ 9 00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:36,534 ♪ Everybody pulled His weight ♪ 10 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:40,872 ♪ Gee, our old LaSalle Ran great ♪ 11 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:46,678 ♪ Those were the days ♪ 12 00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:56,154 Oh, my! 13 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:59,658 I wonder if it's the same Mervyn Jerome. 14 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:01,026 Who's Mervyn Jerome? 15 00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:03,895 He used to run the animal hospital 16 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:07,132 where we used to take Arthur, our cat. 17 00:01:07,134 --> 00:01:10,401 And Mr. Jerome went to my high school too. 18 00:01:10,403 --> 00:01:12,971 Oh, my. He was such a nice man. 19 00:01:12,973 --> 00:01:15,473 He was very close to his animals. 20 00:01:15,475 --> 00:01:20,244 Archie always said you couldn't smell 'em apart. 21 00:01:20,246 --> 00:01:22,981 Of course, that was a joke. 22 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:26,718 It made Mr. Jerome laugh... sometimes. 23 00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,519 What made you think of him? 24 00:01:28,521 --> 00:01:30,521 Well, his name is in the paper, 25 00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,991 if it's the same Mervyn Jerome. 26 00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,559 Oh, what did he do? 27 00:01:34,561 --> 00:01:36,427 He died. 28 00:01:38,497 --> 00:01:43,267 "Suddenly... Beloved husband of Thelma Ruby. 29 00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:45,603 Services private. No flowers." 30 00:01:45,605 --> 00:01:48,272 [GASPS] That could be him. 31 00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:50,508 He suffered from hay fever. 32 00:01:53,012 --> 00:01:55,080 If it's the same Mervyn Jerome, 33 00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:59,450 he's gonna miss our class reunion next week... 34 00:01:59,452 --> 00:02:02,087 if he's dead. 35 00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,454 Ma, I think it's a shame 36 00:02:03,456 --> 00:02:05,289 you're gonna miss the class reunion. 37 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,490 Yeah, just because Archie won't go, 38 00:02:06,492 --> 00:02:07,959 that doesn't mean you shouldn't. 39 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:12,430 Oh, no. I wouldn't feel comfortable without Archie. 40 00:02:12,432 --> 00:02:16,167 ARCHIE: Edith! We're out of toilet paper. 41 00:02:18,170 --> 00:02:21,206 No, we're not. I bought some yesterday. 42 00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,842 It's in the closet in the kitchen. 43 00:02:30,082 --> 00:02:32,617 ARCHIE: I ain't in the kitchen. 44 00:02:33,986 --> 00:02:35,653 Oh... 45 00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:36,687 Oh! 46 00:02:40,292 --> 00:02:42,761 ARCHIE: Hurry up! 47 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,096 Don't panic, Arch! Help's on the way! 48 00:02:45,098 --> 00:02:47,198 Be right there! I'll take it, Ma. 49 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:49,234 Oh, thanks, Mike. 50 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,469 How come Daddy doesn't check for paper first? 51 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:53,638 Because he's too busy reading. 52 00:02:55,607 --> 00:02:57,608 ARCHIE: All right, Meathead, just leave it there. 53 00:02:57,610 --> 00:03:00,645 I'll put it on the roller myself. 54 00:03:03,415 --> 00:03:06,184 Why do you have to look for cough drops now? 55 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:08,052 Get out of here! 56 00:03:10,522 --> 00:03:11,722 I bet cousin Amelia was angry 57 00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:12,891 when she found out 58 00:03:12,893 --> 00:03:14,292 you weren't going to the reunion, Ma. 59 00:03:14,294 --> 00:03:15,526 Oh, yeah... 60 00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,362 and it's the only reunion we've ever had. 61 00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:20,564 Thirty years. 62 00:03:20,566 --> 00:03:22,901 And now they're tearing down the school. 63 00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,769 [TOILET FLUSHING] 64 00:03:28,340 --> 00:03:30,909 And it won't be the same saying, 65 00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:35,280 "That's where I went to school," and pointing to the A&P. 66 00:03:38,383 --> 00:03:40,518 Now, can't we get one thing clear 67 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:41,519 around here? 68 00:03:41,521 --> 00:03:42,753 Uh, Mrs. Stivic, 69 00:03:42,755 --> 00:03:43,955 would you get your little keister 70 00:03:43,957 --> 00:03:45,456 out of my chair? 71 00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:49,194 The person who uses up the paper 72 00:03:49,196 --> 00:03:50,661 on the roller up there 73 00:03:50,663 --> 00:03:53,264 has to put a new roll on the roller. 74 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:55,733 Can't youse none of youse remember that rule? 75 00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:56,767 That's a rule? 76 00:03:58,337 --> 00:04:00,604 It's one of your main rules of civilization, Meathead. 77 00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:03,607 [DOORBELL RINGS] Oh, no, no. 78 00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:05,009 Who could that be, on a Sunday 79 00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:06,010 ringing the bell? 80 00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:07,011 It's a day of rest. 81 00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,012 Jeez, don't people stay home 82 00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:10,248 and read their bibles no more? 83 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,383 What happened to Christianity anyhow? 84 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,652 Whoever that is, tell them to get the hell out of here! 85 00:04:18,357 --> 00:04:19,924 Amelia! Edith. 86 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,894 Oh, Archie, it's cousin Amelia! 87 00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:25,830 Shut the door, will the two of youse! 88 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,465 We're catching pneumonia here! 89 00:04:28,633 --> 00:04:31,102 Hi, Amelia. Hi, Mike. Hi, Gloria. 90 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,004 Oh, hiya, Archie. Hi, Amelia. 91 00:04:33,006 --> 00:04:34,605 Ooh, you're getting a little thin up here. 92 00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:35,639 Isn't he? 93 00:04:35,641 --> 00:04:39,077 Don't fool with it, huh! 94 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,444 Sit down, Amelia. 95 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:42,080 Make yourself comfortable. 96 00:04:42,082 --> 00:04:44,082 Would you like a cup of coffee? 97 00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,150 And I think there's one Twinkie left. 98 00:04:46,152 --> 00:04:47,352 Hey, hey, hey! 99 00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,387 That's my tomorrow's-lunch Twinkie! 100 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,324 How about a cookie, Amelia? 101 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:54,492 Anything, thank you. 102 00:04:54,494 --> 00:04:55,493 I'll get it, Ma. 103 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:56,494 Yeah. I'll help you. 104 00:04:56,496 --> 00:04:57,862 Oh, thanks, Gloria. 105 00:04:57,864 --> 00:04:59,563 Thanks, Mike. 106 00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:01,599 Edith, I want to know why you sent back 107 00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:04,068 this invitation to our class reunion. 108 00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:08,273 Oh, I'm sorry, Amelia, but I can't go. 109 00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:09,274 But you got to go. 110 00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,075 It's going to be a marvelous party. 111 00:05:11,077 --> 00:05:12,810 Remember Mavis Pike? 112 00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:14,279 Yeah! 113 00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,880 Well, Mavis is making us a special banner. 114 00:05:15,882 --> 00:05:18,049 It's gonna say "30th reunion." 115 00:05:18,051 --> 00:05:22,287 Oh, Mavis was always good with words. 116 00:05:24,623 --> 00:05:26,724 Her father was a butcher. 117 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:28,592 She used to write his windows. 118 00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:30,461 What did she do? 119 00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:33,898 You know, "Special today: chuck steak." 120 00:05:35,901 --> 00:05:38,436 Coffee and cookies, everybody. 121 00:05:38,438 --> 00:05:39,603 Hey, Cousin Amelia. Yeah? 122 00:05:39,605 --> 00:05:41,705 Did you talk Ma into going to the reunion yet? 123 00:05:41,707 --> 00:05:42,706 Not yet. 124 00:05:42,708 --> 00:05:43,908 What's the matter with you, Arch? 125 00:05:43,910 --> 00:05:45,043 Why don't you take her? 126 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,011 Do I have to report to you whatever-- 127 00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,512 Hey, hey! Hey! 128 00:05:53,485 --> 00:05:55,119 That's my tomorrow's-lunch Twinkie 129 00:05:55,121 --> 00:05:56,988 you're eating there. 130 00:05:56,990 --> 00:05:59,324 Jeez, ain't nothing sacred to you at all? 131 00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,325 Sorry. I forgot. 132 00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:01,725 They ought to make a horror movie 133 00:06:01,727 --> 00:06:03,394 out of your stomach. 134 00:06:05,197 --> 00:06:06,197 Want the rest? 135 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,731 I don't want it now! 136 00:06:07,733 --> 00:06:09,667 Daddy, you're just evading the issue. 137 00:06:09,669 --> 00:06:11,836 Why won't you take Ma to her class reunion? 138 00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:13,271 I promised Barney Hefner 139 00:06:13,273 --> 00:06:15,673 that I'm gonna go bowling with him on Saturday. 140 00:06:15,675 --> 00:06:17,275 That's a promise. That's a point of honor. 141 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,776 "Point of honor"? 142 00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,411 Yeah, which you wouldn't understand, 143 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,146 being a Twinkie thief. 144 00:06:25,017 --> 00:06:26,917 Daddy, remember how you used to love 145 00:06:26,919 --> 00:06:28,786 going to your old Air Corps reunions? 146 00:06:28,788 --> 00:06:30,121 Oh, now, come on. 147 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:32,823 Are you comparing this high school stupid stuff 148 00:06:32,825 --> 00:06:34,859 to my Air Corps reunions? 149 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:37,362 Our Air Corps reunions was held to "re-memorate" 150 00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:38,762 the great things we had done. 151 00:06:38,764 --> 00:06:41,699 Yeah, like bombing, strafing, killing... 152 00:06:41,701 --> 00:06:43,934 Get away from me, huh? 153 00:06:43,936 --> 00:06:45,936 If your mother wants to go to that class reunion, 154 00:06:45,938 --> 00:06:47,372 she can go without me. 155 00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,074 Oh, Daddy, you know Ma never goes anywhere without you. 156 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,309 Russell's taking me. 157 00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,378 Well, I ain't going, and that's final. 158 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,713 Maybe this'll change your mind, Edith. 159 00:06:55,715 --> 00:06:58,582 I brought you a copy of the old school paper. 160 00:06:58,584 --> 00:07:00,751 The Milestone? 161 00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:02,153 Yeah, I had reprints made 162 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,154 for everybody in the class. 163 00:07:03,156 --> 00:07:04,522 Here. 164 00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:07,791 Oh, look. Here's a picture of the whole class. 165 00:07:07,793 --> 00:07:09,994 Let me see, Ma. Which one is you? 166 00:07:09,996 --> 00:07:12,997 There I am. Edith Baines. 167 00:07:12,999 --> 00:07:15,466 Oh, you look so young. 168 00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:17,768 That's because I was younger then. 169 00:07:22,474 --> 00:07:24,808 Archie, look, here's Amelia. 170 00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:28,046 Oh, look at Amelia with all the braces. 171 00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,648 Jeez, what a face full of wire you had. 172 00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:34,785 1943... Ma, can Michael and I look at this? 173 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:35,786 Sure. 174 00:07:35,788 --> 00:07:38,156 We were kids then, Archie. 175 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:41,292 Everybody had a face full of wire. 176 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,861 Except Buck Evans. He was perfect. 177 00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:49,434 Buck Evans... I haven't thought about him in years. 178 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:51,402 He was the handsomest thing... 179 00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,804 and Edith had a crush on him. 180 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,239 Oh... 181 00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:57,408 Boy, what a lousy Sunday this is. 182 00:07:59,611 --> 00:08:03,814 Oh, yeah, Buck Evans was so popular, 183 00:08:03,816 --> 00:08:07,851 but he let me go with him wherever he went. 184 00:08:07,853 --> 00:08:10,054 You know what they used to call me? 185 00:08:10,056 --> 00:08:11,789 "Who's that with Buck Evans?" 186 00:08:15,594 --> 00:08:18,729 Hey, Ma, which one is Buck in this picture? 187 00:08:18,731 --> 00:08:20,998 Oh, now, let's see. 188 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,901 It's been so many years. 189 00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:24,902 There he is! 190 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,605 Oh, my... 191 00:08:27,607 --> 00:08:29,940 Oh, is he good-looking. Yeah. 192 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:34,612 He was voted the Boy Most Likely to Win the War. 193 00:08:36,848 --> 00:08:39,183 But that picture don't do him justice. 194 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,086 You had to see him on the track field. 195 00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:45,889 Oh, he had such a beautiful figure. 196 00:08:45,891 --> 00:08:49,059 And that golden hair waving in the wind... 197 00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:50,060 Oh! 198 00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:52,963 Sounds like a running fag. 199 00:08:56,468 --> 00:08:58,436 He was anything but that. 200 00:08:58,438 --> 00:09:00,471 All the girls were crazy about him. 201 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:03,207 You, too, huh, Edith? Whoo! 202 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,542 Oh, yeah. 203 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,145 Remember? You used to leave him notes. 204 00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,846 "From an anonymous admirer... 205 00:09:08,848 --> 00:09:10,781 Signed, Edith Baines." 206 00:09:12,618 --> 00:09:14,452 Why did you stop seeing him, Ma? 207 00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:16,287 Well, he went into the Air Corps. 208 00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,357 Oh, my, and in his uniform... 209 00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:20,558 Ooh, he looked 210 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:23,161 like the cover on one of those song sheets. 211 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:27,398 ♪ He wore a pair Of silver wings... ♪ 212 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,299 Silver wings, oh! 213 00:09:33,071 --> 00:09:34,238 What's the matter with you? 214 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,839 You were in the Air Corps, weren't you? 215 00:09:35,841 --> 00:09:37,408 That's right, Meathead. 216 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:39,477 I was second in charge of the motor pool. 217 00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,079 What'd you wear on your chest? A little carburetor? 218 00:09:46,652 --> 00:09:48,852 Oh, Edith, I got to get going. 219 00:09:48,854 --> 00:09:50,454 Now, you're sure you won't change your mind 220 00:09:50,456 --> 00:09:51,789 about coming to the reunion? 221 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:54,692 Oh, no, Amelia. I'm sorry. 222 00:09:54,694 --> 00:09:58,529 Ah, Buck is gonna be awful disappointed. 223 00:09:58,531 --> 00:10:01,365 Buck is coming to the reunion? 224 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,533 Sure. Didn't you know? 225 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:05,903 No. His name wasn't on the list you sent me. 226 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:08,606 Oh, but his answer came in late. He's gonna be there. 227 00:10:08,608 --> 00:10:10,641 Oh... 228 00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:12,210 Archie, are you sure you don't mind 229 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,111 if I go to the reunion? 230 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:15,613 Well, wait a minute, now. Uh... 231 00:10:17,782 --> 00:10:20,084 No. He doesn't mind. He said so 10 times. 232 00:10:20,086 --> 00:10:23,153 Oh... well, then, I think I'll go. 233 00:10:23,155 --> 00:10:25,623 Yeah. I'm going to the reunion. 234 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:27,191 Great. You're going alone? 235 00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:28,259 Why not? 236 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:32,196 Hold it! Hold it there! 237 00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:34,398 You ain't gonna do nothing of the kind there, Edith. 238 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:35,399 But, Archie... 239 00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:37,801 No, no! 240 00:10:37,803 --> 00:10:39,704 I'm going with you. 241 00:10:39,706 --> 00:10:41,305 Because of Buck Evans, Daddy? 242 00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,541 No! 243 00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:46,844 Because no real man lets his wife go out alone at night 244 00:10:46,846 --> 00:10:49,614 after Buck... dark. 245 00:10:59,791 --> 00:11:01,359 She's ready, Michael. She's ready. 246 00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,993 Come on. Get up, okay. Okay, yeah. 247 00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:04,795 All right, Ma, you can come down now. 248 00:11:04,797 --> 00:11:06,130 EDITH: Okay. I'm coming. 249 00:11:06,132 --> 00:11:08,232 ♪ A pretty girl ♪ 250 00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:09,400 Oh! 251 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:13,103 ♪ That went To Fillmore High ♪ 252 00:11:13,105 --> 00:11:18,509 ♪ Is going there Again ♪ 253 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,578 Hey, you look beautiful, really nice. 254 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,579 So pretty, Ma. Thanks. 255 00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,047 Oh, thanks, Gloria. 256 00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:26,184 Wasn't it nice of Archie to come with me? 257 00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,785 Edith, Edith, 258 00:11:27,787 --> 00:11:30,288 what is this spot on my good tie? 259 00:11:31,823 --> 00:11:35,326 Oh... that's ketchup from your last lodge dinner. 260 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,661 Remember? 261 00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:38,996 I didn't ask, "What's the spot? What is it?" 262 00:11:38,998 --> 00:11:42,132 I asked, "What's the spot? What's it still doing there?" 263 00:11:42,134 --> 00:11:44,569 I'm sorry, Archie. I guess I forgot to clean it. 264 00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:45,803 Aw... 265 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:47,638 Let me see, Daddy. 266 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,773 Why don't you just move your tie clip down? 267 00:11:49,775 --> 00:11:51,676 Or you could tie your knot higher 268 00:11:51,678 --> 00:11:54,111 and tuck the end in your pants. 269 00:12:01,086 --> 00:12:04,054 Or... you could tie a knot in your tongue! 270 00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:04,922 Come on. Let's go. 271 00:12:06,925 --> 00:12:08,092 Ma, you remembered the ticket? 272 00:12:08,094 --> 00:12:09,560 Yeah. Here it is. 273 00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,429 Oh, ain't that beautiful? 274 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:14,265 "Mrs. Edith Bunker and friend." 275 00:12:14,267 --> 00:12:16,534 Ain't that nice? 276 00:12:16,536 --> 00:12:19,069 No. It ain't nice, Edith. It's dumb. 277 00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,772 I'm your husband. I ain't your friend. 278 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,875 ARCHIE: Come on! 279 00:12:24,877 --> 00:12:25,943 Hey, Ma, you better hurry. 280 00:12:25,945 --> 00:12:27,778 You don't want to be late after 30 years. 281 00:12:27,780 --> 00:12:29,313 Oh, my! 282 00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:32,950 No. That would be awful, wouldn't it? 283 00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:33,984 ARCHIE: Hey, Edith! 284 00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:35,185 Your friend is waiting for you 285 00:12:35,187 --> 00:12:36,887 on the stoop here! 286 00:12:36,889 --> 00:12:38,922 Coming, Archie! Bye-bye. 287 00:12:38,924 --> 00:12:40,124 Bye, Ma. Have a good time. 288 00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,325 See you later. 289 00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,227 Bye, Daddy. 290 00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:44,828 Gee, I hope Ma has a good time 291 00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:45,829 at her reunion. 292 00:12:45,831 --> 00:12:47,231 [IMITATING GROUCHO MARX] I hope we have 293 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:48,699 a good time at ours. 294 00:12:48,701 --> 00:12:49,700 Michael... 295 00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,001 By a strange coincidence, 296 00:12:51,003 --> 00:12:53,036 our class is meeting in this house all evening, 297 00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,272 and I'm happy to report 298 00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,073 that we're the only two that showed up. 299 00:12:57,509 --> 00:12:59,543 [IMITATING MAE WEST] Why resist temptation? 300 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:01,211 There's always more. 301 00:13:03,848 --> 00:13:05,916 [HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHTER] 302 00:13:10,955 --> 00:13:12,856 Here I am, Archie. 303 00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,191 What took you so long? 304 00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:16,126 I'm standing here alone like a potted plant. 305 00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:20,864 I'm sorry, but I had to get change. 306 00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:22,466 I didn't have a dime. 307 00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:24,669 Why can't you take care of them things 308 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:26,970 before we leave home where it's free? 309 00:13:29,508 --> 00:13:32,777 Why didn't you talk to somebody while you was waiting? 310 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:35,446 Because it ain't my reunion, and I don't know nobody, 311 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,748 and I don't want to know nobody. 312 00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,817 [ANGRILY] Now, let's go in there and have a good time. 313 00:13:42,954 --> 00:13:44,388 WOMAN: Edith! 314 00:13:44,390 --> 00:13:45,690 Mavis Pike! 315 00:13:45,692 --> 00:13:48,091 Oh, welcome. I'm so glad you came. 316 00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:50,394 It's lovely to see you again. 317 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:51,495 You look just the same. 318 00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,496 [LAUGHS] Oh... 319 00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:55,032 Oh, I'm sorry. This is Mr. Bunker. 320 00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:57,802 Archie, this is Mavis Pike, 321 00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,604 the one I told you about, who's so good with words. 322 00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:02,540 Oh, yeah, 323 00:14:02,542 --> 00:14:05,275 she writes the "chuck steak" on the windows. 324 00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,077 Nice to know you, there, Mrs. Pike. 325 00:14:07,079 --> 00:14:09,146 Oh, no. It's not "Mrs." 326 00:14:09,148 --> 00:14:11,515 It's "Ms." "Ms."-- M-S. 327 00:14:11,517 --> 00:14:13,451 Oh, you're one of them. 328 00:14:15,487 --> 00:14:17,955 She's a women's lib! 329 00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,591 You see, that means she ain't a missus 330 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:22,926 and she ain't a miss, neither. 331 00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:25,463 What does that make her, a near miss? 332 00:14:29,267 --> 00:14:30,334 Ha-ha-ha-ha! 333 00:14:30,336 --> 00:14:33,136 Edith, I was going to ask you 334 00:14:33,138 --> 00:14:35,473 if you've had an interesting life, 335 00:14:35,475 --> 00:14:37,140 but he just saved me the trouble. 336 00:14:39,811 --> 00:14:41,011 Oh, hi! 337 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:43,614 Hi, oh, I promise not to guess your name 338 00:14:43,616 --> 00:14:45,583 if you promise not to guess mine. 339 00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:47,184 [LAUGHS] 340 00:14:47,186 --> 00:14:49,319 [HIGH-PITCHED LAUGHING] 341 00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:50,554 I'm gonna get a drink. 342 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:55,325 Oh, Amelia, what a wonderful turnout. 343 00:14:55,327 --> 00:14:56,827 It is good, isn't it? 344 00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,596 Of course, not everybody could come, 345 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:00,698 and some of us are no longer with us. 346 00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,802 Oh, my. They left already? 347 00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:07,505 Oh, no, no. They passed on. 348 00:15:07,507 --> 00:15:08,739 Oh! 349 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,941 Yeah, Danny Pilsner? You remember him? 350 00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:12,276 Just last year. 351 00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:15,713 Oh, I'm sorry, but it don't surprise me. 352 00:15:15,715 --> 00:15:17,681 He was always very sickly. 353 00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:19,182 What did he pass on of? 354 00:15:19,184 --> 00:15:22,085 He got hit by a truck. 355 00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:24,021 Hey, Amelia, I don't see your husband around. 356 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:25,022 Where is he? 357 00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:26,256 He didn't come. Listen, Edith-- 358 00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,893 Wait a minute. What do you mean, he didn't come? 359 00:15:28,895 --> 00:15:30,828 He promised a very special client of his 360 00:15:30,830 --> 00:15:32,663 that he would go bowling with him. 361 00:15:32,665 --> 00:15:34,932 Now, listen, Edith. You hear that, Edith? 362 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,166 Hey, he's going bowling. 363 00:15:36,168 --> 00:15:37,568 I had to come here with you. 364 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:39,904 But Archie, you wanted to come. 365 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,305 That's right, Arch, the minute you heard 366 00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:42,706 Buck Evans was going to be here. 367 00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,341 Oh, well, that's right, sure. 368 00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:47,611 I didn't want to miss the golden flyer. 369 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:48,646 Where is he? 370 00:15:48,648 --> 00:15:50,714 He's coming. Come on, Edith. 371 00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:52,516 Say hello to the rest of the old gang. 372 00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:54,117 Come on, Archie. I want you to meet... 373 00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,118 [GRUMBLING] 374 00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,420 That's Edith Baines. 375 00:15:56,422 --> 00:16:00,090 Hi, everybody. Oh, Edith Baines. 376 00:16:00,092 --> 00:16:01,926 Edith! Edith Baines. 377 00:16:01,928 --> 00:16:03,193 Remember me? 378 00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:04,862 Sam Gulinsky? 379 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,631 ♪ Kuey, kuey, conga Kuey, kuey, conga ♪ 380 00:16:07,633 --> 00:16:10,300 [LAUGHING] Of course, Sam. 381 00:16:10,302 --> 00:16:13,871 Sam, this is Archie. Archie, Sam Gulinsky. 382 00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:16,607 Hi. Hey, did you ever play ball? 383 00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,375 Yeah, I played some ball. 384 00:16:18,377 --> 00:16:21,912 Figures. Edith always had a thing for ball players. 385 00:16:21,914 --> 00:16:23,747 Oh! 386 00:16:23,749 --> 00:16:25,749 Did you know Buck Evans was going to be here? 387 00:16:25,751 --> 00:16:26,817 Yeah! 388 00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,886 Hey, would you like to meet my wife? Sylvia! 389 00:16:28,888 --> 00:16:30,654 Listen, remember when you and Buck and me... 390 00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,691 A nod is as good as a wink to a blind man. 391 00:16:34,826 --> 00:16:35,693 What was that? 392 00:16:38,730 --> 00:16:39,830 If it were my wife, 393 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,032 and Buck Evans was coming... 394 00:16:42,034 --> 00:16:43,233 You know what I mean? 395 00:16:43,235 --> 00:16:45,002 No. What do you mean? 396 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,104 Enough said. 397 00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:48,105 Hold it. Hold it. 398 00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:50,107 Hold it. What do you mean, "Enough said"? 399 00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,610 Enough said. 400 00:16:59,751 --> 00:17:01,385 This party is stinkeroo. 401 00:17:06,057 --> 00:17:07,424 Hey, uh, would you mind 402 00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:09,026 freshening up my drink, there? 403 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,094 I'm taking rye and ginger ale. 404 00:17:12,831 --> 00:17:16,233 Uh, pardon me asking, but ain't you on duty here? 405 00:17:17,969 --> 00:17:19,036 Nah. 406 00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,704 I'm just fixing myself a drink. 407 00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:24,107 Oh, I get it. I get it. 408 00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,943 You're one of the reunions here, huh? 409 00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:27,044 That's right. 410 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,445 It's funny, Edith never mentioned 411 00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:30,180 there was a colored guy in her class. 412 00:17:30,182 --> 00:17:33,150 As a matter of fact, there were three of us... 413 00:17:33,152 --> 00:17:35,419 black guys in the class. 414 00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,721 Oh? Where's the other two? 415 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,623 Well, I guess they couldn't make it. 416 00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:41,425 Why? Are they in trouble? 417 00:17:45,163 --> 00:17:46,396 I doubt that. 418 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:47,631 They're probably very busy 419 00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:49,266 with their law firm up in Buffalo. 420 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:54,371 Oh, they're lawyers, huh? Whoop-de-do. 421 00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:55,773 What do you do for a living? 422 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,675 A little farming. 423 00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,577 Hey, that's nice. 424 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:02,780 Well, youse three guys done pretty good for yourselves, huh? 425 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,147 Well, we can't complain. 426 00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:06,483 Yeah, that's because when you was in school, 427 00:18:06,485 --> 00:18:07,952 I bet you wasn't rioting, right? 428 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,087 Uh, no, we weren't. 429 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,290 Yeah, because you were smart, hard-working... 430 00:18:13,292 --> 00:18:15,258 Outnumbered. 431 00:18:18,229 --> 00:18:19,597 Excuse me. 432 00:18:23,301 --> 00:18:25,368 Tony Rizelli! 433 00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:26,870 Huh? 434 00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:31,141 Tony, I never forget a face. Never forget a face. 435 00:18:33,111 --> 00:18:35,145 You just broke your record. 436 00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:36,446 [LAUGHING] 437 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,082 Excuse me, I gotta mingle. 438 00:18:39,450 --> 00:18:40,684 So, Edith, tell me. 439 00:18:40,686 --> 00:18:42,519 What have you been doing with yourself 440 00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,021 these last 30 years? 441 00:18:44,023 --> 00:18:49,292 Well, right after graduation, I went on a week's vacation 442 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:52,630 to my cousin Gertrude's in Newark. 443 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,932 It was kind of a graduation present 444 00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,133 from Mom and Dad. 445 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,401 And then, after I got home, 446 00:18:58,403 --> 00:19:00,904 I started looking for a job... 447 00:19:00,906 --> 00:19:02,940 It's funny, because I could have sworn 448 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,541 you were on the track team with me. 449 00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:05,743 Wait a minute. Wait a minute. 450 00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:07,310 You was on the track team? Yeah. 451 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:10,280 You wouldn't be that guy Buck Evans, would you? 452 00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,950 [LAUGHS] Me? Buck Evans? 453 00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:15,786 Do I look like Buck Evans? 454 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:17,554 He thinks I'm Buck Evans. 455 00:19:17,556 --> 00:19:19,523 [LAUGHS] 456 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:21,358 That was Willy Weatherby. 457 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:23,260 Buck Evans was much stronger. 458 00:19:23,262 --> 00:19:24,394 Who cares? 459 00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:25,629 And much handsomer. 460 00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:28,098 God, he was beautiful. 461 00:19:30,135 --> 00:19:32,136 Do you remember how he used to carry the flag 462 00:19:32,138 --> 00:19:33,503 at assemblies? 463 00:19:33,505 --> 00:19:34,571 With his white gloves? 464 00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:37,574 Oh, it brought a lump to your throat. 465 00:19:37,576 --> 00:19:39,777 God, he was beautiful. 466 00:19:41,245 --> 00:19:43,180 We heard that. 467 00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:46,717 That takes care of 1945. 468 00:19:53,624 --> 00:19:56,126 And then, in 1946, 469 00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:58,829 I joined the Hercules Plumbing Company 470 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,398 as a secretary. 471 00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:03,100 Isn't that interesting? 472 00:20:03,102 --> 00:20:05,602 Oh, yes, it was so interesting. 473 00:20:05,604 --> 00:20:07,571 Oh, we had all kinds of equipment: 474 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:08,572 faucets, 475 00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:11,809 swivel-head showers, gaskets... 476 00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:15,679 Remember how stuck Edith was on Buck? 477 00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:17,514 Well, why shouldn't she be? 478 00:20:17,516 --> 00:20:19,649 God, he was beautiful! 479 00:20:19,651 --> 00:20:20,650 [AUDIENCE LAUGHTER] 480 00:20:20,652 --> 00:20:22,886 And Archie and me was marr-- 481 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,755 Oh, here's Archie now! 482 00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:25,622 Hi! 483 00:20:27,358 --> 00:20:28,425 Edith, I want to talk-- 484 00:20:28,427 --> 00:20:30,560 Oh, Archie, ain't this a wonderful party? 485 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,329 Aren't you glad you came? I wanna talk-- 486 00:20:32,331 --> 00:20:35,132 Edith, we need you to lead us in the old high school cheer! 487 00:20:35,134 --> 00:20:36,399 [GRUMBLING] 488 00:20:36,401 --> 00:20:39,136 Come on, do the school cheer. 489 00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:41,471 I ain't going to cheer for nothing. 490 00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:45,308 Okay, hit it! One, two, three-- 491 00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:49,213 ALL: Fillmore High! Fillmore High! 492 00:20:49,215 --> 00:20:52,716 We are high on old Fillmore! 493 00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:55,986 Everybody runs when they hear us roar! 494 00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:59,890 Fillmore! Fillmore! Roar! Roar! Roar! 495 00:21:01,025 --> 00:21:02,292 [LOW-LEVEL CHATTERING] 496 00:21:04,395 --> 00:21:06,096 Do you know what you look like? 497 00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:10,134 Archie, don't be such a spoilsport. 498 00:21:10,136 --> 00:21:11,334 Come on! Hit it again! 499 00:21:11,336 --> 00:21:12,636 We're gonna do it once more. 500 00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:13,771 One, two, three, and-- 501 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:17,340 ALL: Fillmore High! Fillmore High! 502 00:21:17,342 --> 00:21:20,377 We are high on old Fillmore! 503 00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:23,180 Everybody runs when they hear us roar! 504 00:21:23,182 --> 00:21:26,984 Fillmore! Fillmore! Roar! Roar! Roar! 505 00:21:26,986 --> 00:21:28,786 [CHEERING] 506 00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:33,791 Sam! 507 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,259 Hiya. Nice to see you. 508 00:21:41,032 --> 00:21:42,532 How about that? 509 00:21:42,534 --> 00:21:44,001 My best buddy at school, 510 00:21:44,003 --> 00:21:45,502 and he didn't even know me. 511 00:21:45,504 --> 00:21:48,272 What do you care? There's plenty to eat. 512 00:21:52,243 --> 00:21:53,343 You're, uh... 513 00:21:53,345 --> 00:21:55,145 Oh, now, wait a minute. You don't know me. 514 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,613 My name is Archie Bunker. 515 00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:58,682 See, I ain't one of the reunions here. 516 00:21:58,684 --> 00:22:00,317 Oh. How's the party going? 517 00:22:00,319 --> 00:22:01,751 Aw, it's a lot of nothing. 518 00:22:01,753 --> 00:22:04,021 They're all waiting for the big class hero, 519 00:22:04,023 --> 00:22:05,222 Buck Evans. 520 00:22:05,224 --> 00:22:06,389 That's funny. 521 00:22:06,391 --> 00:22:07,590 [LAUGHING] 522 00:22:07,592 --> 00:22:08,792 What's funny? 523 00:22:08,794 --> 00:22:10,760 I'm Buck Evans. 524 00:22:13,064 --> 00:22:15,565 You're who? 525 00:22:15,567 --> 00:22:17,034 Buck Evans. 526 00:22:17,036 --> 00:22:20,603 You're "golden-hair-running- flying-on-the-track" Buck Evans? 527 00:22:20,605 --> 00:22:22,639 [LAUGHS] That's right. 528 00:22:22,641 --> 00:22:24,041 What the hell happened to you? 529 00:22:27,111 --> 00:22:29,412 I married a gourmet cook. 530 00:22:29,414 --> 00:22:30,280 [LAUGHS] 531 00:22:31,449 --> 00:22:33,450 Looks like she's in there with you. 532 00:22:40,124 --> 00:22:43,727 Listen, I know someone who's waiting here all night 533 00:22:43,729 --> 00:22:44,995 to meet you again. 534 00:22:44,997 --> 00:22:46,230 Yeah? Who? 535 00:22:46,232 --> 00:22:48,398 My wife. She used to be Edith Baines. 536 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:49,833 Edith Baines. 537 00:22:49,835 --> 00:22:51,835 That's right. I'm gonna get her and bring her over. 538 00:22:51,837 --> 00:22:53,403 You stay right here, see? 539 00:22:53,405 --> 00:22:54,637 Don't let nobody move you. 540 00:22:57,775 --> 00:22:58,976 Hey, Edith! Edith? 541 00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:00,377 Hey, get away from me here, huh. 542 00:23:00,379 --> 00:23:02,479 Will you get out of the way? 543 00:23:02,481 --> 00:23:05,682 Edith... Edith, there's somebody over here 544 00:23:05,684 --> 00:23:08,551 that you're gonna be very happy to see. 545 00:23:08,553 --> 00:23:10,287 Step this way. 546 00:23:10,289 --> 00:23:11,788 I'll bet you'll never recognize him. 547 00:23:14,025 --> 00:23:15,292 Buck Evans. 548 00:23:17,228 --> 00:23:19,963 Edith Baines. 549 00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:22,766 Oh, Buck! 550 00:23:22,768 --> 00:23:24,434 How'd you recognize me? 551 00:23:24,436 --> 00:23:26,904 I'd know you anywhere. 552 00:23:26,906 --> 00:23:30,173 Your eyes. Your eyes are just the same. 553 00:23:30,175 --> 00:23:33,310 I can still see right inside you. 554 00:23:33,312 --> 00:23:36,579 See, Archie? Ain't he beautiful? 555 00:23:38,783 --> 00:23:41,318 Uh, nice to meet your acquaintanceship there. 556 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:43,653 Can I just take my wife over here for a minute? 557 00:23:43,655 --> 00:23:45,022 We'll see you, huh? 558 00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:46,823 Edith, Edith. 559 00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:49,759 I will never be able to figure you out. 560 00:23:49,761 --> 00:23:53,696 You and me, we look at the same guy, 561 00:23:53,698 --> 00:23:55,865 and you see a beautiful person. 562 00:23:55,867 --> 00:23:57,500 I see a blimp. 563 00:23:59,971 --> 00:24:04,241 Yeah. Ain't that too bad? 564 00:24:04,243 --> 00:24:07,110 But, then, you're beautiful too. 565 00:24:15,586 --> 00:24:18,488 Here we are. We're home! 566 00:24:18,490 --> 00:24:21,491 They can see that, Edith. 567 00:24:21,493 --> 00:24:22,759 Did you have a good time? 568 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:25,095 Oh, it was wonderful. 569 00:24:25,097 --> 00:24:27,497 And Amelia says it was so much fun 570 00:24:27,499 --> 00:24:28,698 we're gonna have a reunion 571 00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:31,601 every 30 years from now on. 572 00:24:33,471 --> 00:24:34,871 What'd you think of the reunion, Arch? 573 00:24:34,873 --> 00:24:36,706 Well, I'll tell you one thing. 574 00:24:36,708 --> 00:24:38,008 Your mother-in-law 575 00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,776 was the prettiest lady in the whole crowd. 576 00:24:39,778 --> 00:24:41,845 Oh, Archie. 577 00:24:41,847 --> 00:24:43,413 Aw, don't lose your head, Edith. 578 00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:45,849 There was an awful lot of losers there. 579 00:25:01,732 --> 00:25:04,667 [♪] 580 00:25:04,669 --> 00:25:06,769 ANNOUNCERS: All in the family was recorded on tape 581 00:25:06,771 --> 00:25:08,605 before a live audience. 582 00:25:08,655 --> 00:25:13,205 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40271

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