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1
00:00:05,342 --> 00:00:06,533
- Hi, Grace
- Hi, Jack
2
00:00:06,533 --> 00:00:07,979
- Going to my audition
- Going to make a baby
3
00:00:07,979 --> 00:00:09,688
- Good luck
- Good luck to you too
4
00:00:20,320 --> 00:00:23,017
- Hi
- Hi
5
00:00:23,663 --> 00:00:25,219
Are you all right?
6
00:00:27,587 --> 00:00:31,136
I feel like I was just hit by a bus
7
00:00:31,544 --> 00:00:32,962
Did you see the guy
who attacked me?
8
00:00:32,962 --> 00:00:34,376
Yeah
9
00:00:34,376 --> 00:00:39,408
He was about 12'5", 500 pounds
Big bulb on the top of his head
10
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,168
This is crazy
11
00:00:44,168 --> 00:00:46,620
Who is late for
their own insemination?
12
00:00:48,122 --> 00:00:49,083
Hi, it's Will
13
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,097
Is Grace there by any chance?
14
00:00:51,496 --> 00:00:53,369
Well, if she shows up
would you call me?
15
00:00:53,369 --> 00:00:54,499
Thank you
16
00:00:54,499 --> 00:00:55,377
Is that her office?
17
00:00:55,377 --> 00:00:58,501
No, Benny's Taco on East 74th
18
00:00:59,681 --> 00:01:01,922
Where the hell is she?
I'm really getting worried here
19
00:01:01,922 --> 00:01:05,466
Hey, uh...
is this sexy?
20
00:01:13,550 --> 00:01:17,224
It's a little sexy
But m-more disturbing
21
00:01:20,125 --> 00:01:21,865
You see, I told you this was faster
22
00:01:21,865 --> 00:01:24,403
You wanted to take
the cross-town cow
23
00:01:25,394 --> 00:01:27,362
How do you have
a horse in Manhattan?
24
00:01:27,362 --> 00:01:28,972
I rented him in the park, you know
25
00:01:28,972 --> 00:01:32,959
Some weeks we ride
some weeks we just get a pretzel
26
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,987
Ooh, ooh, we're here
Pull over
27
00:01:35,987 --> 00:01:39,492
Parking spot
Score!
28
00:01:41,860 --> 00:01:44,299
Just slide on down
I'll catch you
29
00:01:46,478 --> 00:01:47,583
I gotcha
30
00:01:48,668 --> 00:01:49,904
Wow, you know
31
00:01:49,904 --> 00:01:52,209
some people
can't do that gracefully
32
00:01:53,651 --> 00:01:54,613
Ooh
33
00:01:55,854 --> 00:01:57,090
- Hi
- Hi
34
00:02:00,715 --> 00:02:02,041
Thank you
35
00:02:02,628 --> 00:02:04,821
I'm Leo Markus, by the way
36
00:02:05,026 --> 00:02:06,469
Grace Adler
37
00:02:06,890 --> 00:02:08,796
Maybe I can take you
out sometime, you know
38
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,391
By you dinner, or...
39
00:02:10,391 --> 00:02:12,382
You're asking me out?
40
00:02:15,664 --> 00:02:16,316
Oh
41
00:02:16,316 --> 00:02:18,355
You're laughin' in my face
That's-- Yeah
42
00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:20,322
No, it's good
Guys like that
43
00:02:20,322 --> 00:02:24,907
No, no. I'm not laughing at you
It's, um, see, I'm about to--
44
00:02:24,907 --> 00:02:28,393
Uh, ooh, this is just ironical
45
00:02:28,393 --> 00:02:30,416
- So dinner?
- No
46
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:32,488
Uh, look, Mr. Markus--
47
00:02:32,488 --> 00:02:33,678
Dr. Markus
48
00:02:33,678 --> 00:02:36,615
Uh, Dr. Mark--
Doctor?
49
00:02:37,058 --> 00:02:38,171
Yeah, I know
It's pretty boring
50
00:02:38,171 --> 00:02:40,232
I'm just your nice
average, Jewish doctor
51
00:02:40,232 --> 00:02:43,853
Look, I really
really have to-- Jewish?
52
00:02:45,767 --> 00:02:46,774
I-I gotta go...
53
00:02:46,774 --> 00:02:48,846
before I find out
you come from money
54
00:03:08,627 --> 00:03:11,097
Hey. Jack, what are you doing?
I thought you had an audition
55
00:03:11,097 --> 00:03:13,953
The part didn't speak to me
56
00:03:13,953 --> 00:03:16,458
So, what, it just gave you the finger?
57
00:03:17,679 --> 00:03:20,673
And, uh, opt to ignore, okay?
58
00:03:21,085 --> 00:03:22,429
Anyway, um
59
00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:25,305
you know, I was thinking about
this whole baby thing
60
00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:26,655
and, um
61
00:03:27,182 --> 00:03:30,911
I decided you should
have a baby with Kelly Ripa
62
00:03:31,577 --> 00:03:32,366
Why?
63
00:03:32,366 --> 00:03:34,046
'Cause she's Kelly
64
00:03:34,613 --> 00:03:36,220
And she's Ripa
65
00:03:37,612 --> 00:03:39,310
She's Kelly Ripa
66
00:03:40,901 --> 00:03:43,673
I know, I know, I know
I'm crazy late
67
00:03:43,673 --> 00:03:45,266
- I had an accident
- What happened?!
68
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:46,484
And it better not be
something stupid
69
00:03:46,484 --> 00:03:50,061
like when you missed my 35th birthday
because you ran into a mailbox
70
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:58,008
I ran into a lamppost
71
00:03:58,510 --> 00:04:00,758
- Grace!
- I did! I did. Look!
72
00:04:00,758 --> 00:04:02,056
A doctor on a horse came up
73
00:04:02,056 --> 00:04:03,609
and took me to the drugstore
to get an icepack
74
00:04:03,609 --> 00:04:06,611
I'm not making this up
I hurt my head
75
00:04:07,295 --> 00:04:08,154
Your head?
76
00:04:08,154 --> 00:04:10,232
Like you keep anything in there
77
00:04:12,932 --> 00:04:15,132
Good afternoon
Do we have the sperm?
78
00:04:15,132 --> 00:04:15,811
Okay
79
00:04:15,811 --> 00:04:18,564
You're gonna have to give me
a little more notice than that
80
00:04:21,068 --> 00:04:23,892
Why don't you put on this gown
and we'll get started
81
00:04:26,697 --> 00:04:30,547
Hey, it's not a map of space
It's a gown. Come on, open it!
82
00:04:30,547 --> 00:04:32,707
Stop stressing me!
83
00:04:33,223 --> 00:04:37,429
Or our kid'll end up spending
eight hours a day chasing his tail
84
00:04:38,332 --> 00:04:40,386
Well, as long as he or she
can tell the difference
85
00:04:40,386 --> 00:04:42,786
between a lamppost
and empty space
86
00:04:45,174 --> 00:04:46,790
Where's the doctor?
87
00:05:05,927 --> 00:05:08,780
Ahh, Miss Beaverhousen
88
00:05:09,463 --> 00:05:11,439
That delicious scent...
89
00:05:11,439 --> 00:05:13,609
I knew it either had to be you
90
00:05:13,609 --> 00:05:19,358
or a thousand wild gardenias nestled
in a mossy bank of money
91
00:05:20,371 --> 00:05:21,741
Save it, Lionel
92
00:05:21,741 --> 00:05:25,290
You're just smellin'
the cheese dip in your Vandyke
93
00:05:25,747 --> 00:05:29,178
Perhaps we should
take a dirty bath together
94
00:05:29,990 --> 00:05:31,908
Take it easy, sleazy
95
00:05:31,908 --> 00:05:34,452
I only came here to
give you your key back
96
00:05:34,452 --> 00:05:36,165
I am a married woman
97
00:05:36,165 --> 00:05:38,741
Sure, my husband is
an enormous bulldozer of a man
98
00:05:38,741 --> 00:05:42,598
who has to be hit with a stun gun
before he can be weighed or medicated
99
00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:49,689
But when I said "I do" to
Stan Walker and his attorneys...
100
00:05:50,448 --> 00:05:52,773
I meant that to be forever
101
00:05:54,175 --> 00:05:56,196
I admire your integrity
102
00:05:56,604 --> 00:05:58,583
Would you care to step inside
103
00:05:58,583 --> 00:06:01,596
take your clothes off
and discuss it further?
104
00:06:02,908 --> 00:06:04,830
I would indeed!
105
00:06:12,220 --> 00:06:14,191
Not bad
106
00:06:24,685 --> 00:06:26,709
But better!
107
00:06:29,270 --> 00:06:30,181
Oh, thank God
108
00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,618
I thought I was gonna
have to breast-feed the baby
109
00:06:34,611 --> 00:06:38,410
I was just playin'
I like what I got
110
00:06:38,410 --> 00:06:39,879
Grace
111
00:06:47,978 --> 00:06:48,883
Why are you up?
112
00:06:48,883 --> 00:06:50,464
The doctors said the best chance
of getting pregnant
113
00:06:50,464 --> 00:06:52,620
was being flat on your back
with your legs in the air
114
00:06:52,620 --> 00:06:56,358
So come on, pretend
somebody just paid for dinner
115
00:06:59,789 --> 00:07:03,381
- That's offensive
- Pretend it was lobster
116
00:07:07,930 --> 00:07:10,457
Got you a couple of presents
117
00:07:10,457 --> 00:07:13,758
Twizzlers and...
118
00:07:14,037 --> 00:07:15,459
- A dictionary?
- Yeah
119
00:07:15,459 --> 00:07:18,133
I don't want our kid to say "ironical."
120
00:07:19,166 --> 00:07:20,150
Come on, Will
121
00:07:20,150 --> 00:07:21,821
Put your lips on
fix your wig
122
00:07:21,821 --> 00:07:26,470
'cause we are going to the new club
called the Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay Club
123
00:07:27,237 --> 00:07:30,066
Aw, that sounds fun
Will you take me sometime?
124
00:07:30,424 --> 00:07:32,857
Grace, please
it's not that gay
125
00:07:34,905 --> 00:07:35,599
Let's go
126
00:07:35,599 --> 00:07:37,343
You don't move
127
00:07:37,343 --> 00:07:38,882
Ahh, great
128
00:07:38,882 --> 00:07:40,674
Knock me up and run
129
00:07:40,674 --> 00:07:44,183
Somewhere my old gym teacher
is saying, "I told you so."
130
00:07:45,309 --> 00:07:48,011
Well, sweetie, it's been
this way for generations
131
00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:51,994
Moms stay home
Dads go out and cruise guys
132
00:07:53,613 --> 00:07:57,162
Or as my dad used to
call it, "bowling."
133
00:07:59,097 --> 00:08:02,758
He even got a trophy for it
How sick is that?
134
00:08:04,326 --> 00:08:06,177
Well, have fun
135
00:08:06,177 --> 00:08:09,544
Bring me back
a souvenir-- Ew. Don't
136
00:08:11,847 --> 00:08:13,342
Maybe I shouldn't go
137
00:08:13,342 --> 00:08:15,104
Come on, Will
I'm all set
138
00:08:15,104 --> 00:08:18,105
Even got my surprise underwear on
139
00:08:18,945 --> 00:08:21,727
- You mean no underwear?
- That's the surprise
140
00:08:24,641 --> 00:08:27,912
No, I-- This-- this is our baby
It should be a priority
141
00:08:27,912 --> 00:08:30,660
Besides, it'd feel weird
you lying here, me being out there
142
00:08:30,660 --> 00:08:35,691
giving guys the old
"Hey, lookin' fine in your Calvin Kleins."
143
00:08:36,818 --> 00:08:38,725
You don't wink, do you?
144
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:41,128
Tell me you don't wink
145
00:08:41,502 --> 00:08:43,067
He winks
146
00:08:45,336 --> 00:08:46,943
You know what, no
It just-- It doesn't feel right
147
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:47,982
I'm--
148
00:08:47,982 --> 00:08:49,726
I'm gonna take a break from all of it
149
00:08:49,726 --> 00:08:51,503
Yup, I am taking
myself off the market
150
00:08:51,503 --> 00:08:53,206
just for a little while
151
00:08:53,486 --> 00:08:54,672
Wow
152
00:08:55,058 --> 00:08:57,760
If you're going to do that
maybe I should too
153
00:08:57,760 --> 00:08:59,173
So we're not dating?
154
00:08:59,173 --> 00:09:00,452
I think we're not
155
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:02,883
- Deal?
- Deal
156
00:09:03,686 --> 00:09:04,345
Hmm...
157
00:09:04,345 --> 00:09:08,540
Very similar to the deal the rest of
the world made not to date you
158
00:09:12,835 --> 00:09:14,014
Hi, kids
159
00:09:14,383 --> 00:09:18,865
Just came by to say hello
Heh. I'm fine. Nothing's wrong
160
00:09:19,288 --> 00:09:21,443
Everything's peachy
161
00:09:38,862 --> 00:09:40,204
Hey, Karen, you seem down
162
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:44,090
Looks like you could
use a shoulder to drink on
163
00:09:47,319 --> 00:09:49,628
Thanks for carin', Chuck
164
00:09:52,144 --> 00:09:53,718
Earlier tonight
165
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:57,434
Lionel Banks invited me
to his hotel room, heh
166
00:09:57,998 --> 00:10:00,845
Well, at first I didn't
want to go because
167
00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:06,677
well, I'm a lady, and I do have
moral standards to uphold
168
00:10:12,879 --> 00:10:15,272
I know!
That was just for us
169
00:10:16,588 --> 00:10:17,381
Anyway...
170
00:10:17,381 --> 00:10:19,187
so I got to his room
we started talking
171
00:10:19,187 --> 00:10:21,594
Had a couple of minibars
172
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:25,764
And, uh, next thing I knew...
173
00:10:26,136 --> 00:10:27,740
he's touching me
174
00:10:28,155 --> 00:10:29,835
I couldn't stop him
175
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:31,548
I didn't want to!
176
00:10:31,981 --> 00:10:33,764
After years of being
with Stan I felt like
177
00:10:33,764 --> 00:10:38,383
"finally a man who knows how
to make a woman feel like a girl"
178
00:10:38,383 --> 00:10:41,812
"and how to make
that girl feel like a slut"
179
00:10:42,596 --> 00:10:46,596
"and how to make
that slut feel like a woman."
180
00:10:47,951 --> 00:10:49,264
Did you do it?
181
00:10:49,684 --> 00:10:50,567
We did...
182
00:10:50,991 --> 00:10:52,584
everything but
183
00:10:52,584 --> 00:10:55,331
- Well, well, Mrs. Walker
- Ooh. Now, that's interesting
184
00:10:55,331 --> 00:10:57,140
Wait a minute
Everything but "B-U-T,"
185
00:10:57,140 --> 00:10:59,724
or everything butt, "B-U-T-T?"
186
00:11:02,946 --> 00:11:07,164
- Everything but, B-U-T
- Oh, well, anybody can do that
187
00:11:07,164 --> 00:11:08,676
But now I don't know what to do
188
00:11:08,676 --> 00:11:10,925
I wanna see him again, but--
189
00:11:10,925 --> 00:11:12,685
I don't know, should I?
190
00:11:13,111 --> 00:11:14,399
Well, on one hand
191
00:11:14,399 --> 00:11:16,639
Stan did give you permission
to sleep with other men
192
00:11:16,639 --> 00:11:18,027
while he was in prison
193
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:19,947
Yeah, but on the other hand
he is your husband
194
00:11:19,947 --> 00:11:22,589
you did take a vow
to stay faithful to him
195
00:11:22,843 --> 00:11:24,368
What are you going to do, Karen?
196
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:26,393
The only thing I can do...
197
00:11:26,837 --> 00:11:29,073
I'm gonna tell
Mr. Banks to take a hike
198
00:11:29,073 --> 00:11:31,435
and I'm gonna wait for
my man to get sprung
199
00:11:31,435 --> 00:11:34,234
because, let's face it
200
00:11:34,234 --> 00:11:38,052
Stanley Walker may not be
a handsome man and
201
00:11:38,052 --> 00:11:40,544
he may not be
a charming man...
202
00:11:44,312 --> 00:11:45,505
That's it
203
00:11:53,068 --> 00:11:56,598
What a rook
only five blueberries
204
00:11:57,807 --> 00:11:59,125
$3.50 for a muffin?
205
00:11:59,125 --> 00:12:02,877
You'd think they'd give ya
more than-- Hold on a second
206
00:12:03,295 --> 00:12:06,736
This side is lousy with blueberries
207
00:12:10,184 --> 00:12:12,314
Grace Adler
what are you doing here?
208
00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:15,172
You didn't hit your head
on that coffee urn, did you?
209
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:20,124
Leo, hi, what are you doing here?
210
00:12:20,755 --> 00:12:21,853
It's fate
211
00:12:21,853 --> 00:12:26,564
Once in a lifetime, the stars line up
to bring two people together
212
00:12:26,970 --> 00:12:29,414
That and my office is right there
213
00:12:36,139 --> 00:12:38,753
- What are you doing now?
- I'm joining you
214
00:12:38,753 --> 00:12:40,957
- For what?
- Small talk...
215
00:12:40,957 --> 00:12:44,743
you know, a little back-and-forth
I just went and now you go
216
00:12:45,597 --> 00:12:48,122
- Leo...
- Is it my turn already?
217
00:12:48,834 --> 00:12:50,478
You know, heart pumps are tricky
218
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:51,660
Your turn
219
00:12:56,155 --> 00:12:57,897
Okay, I get it
You're fun
220
00:12:57,897 --> 00:13:01,177
But I'm--
I'm just not dating
221
00:13:01,177 --> 00:13:02,558
I've got a lot--
222
00:13:02,981 --> 00:13:05,458
a lot on my plate right now
a lot I need to focus on
223
00:13:05,458 --> 00:13:08,613
Okay, I get it
No date
224
00:13:09,585 --> 00:13:11,874
Well, at least let me
have a look at your gash
225
00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:18,077
- That is the rudest thing--!
- On your head
226
00:13:18,077 --> 00:13:19,957
From the lamppost
227
00:13:22,123 --> 00:13:23,529
I knew
228
00:13:24,529 --> 00:13:25,275
Ow, ow
229
00:13:25,275 --> 00:13:27,769
- Easy, easy. Come on
- Calm down, hold still
230
00:13:27,769 --> 00:13:29,655
- How's it look?
- It looks good
231
00:13:32,271 --> 00:13:34,154
It looks very good
232
00:13:35,410 --> 00:13:38,670
Okay, Dr. Feelgood
233
00:13:40,029 --> 00:13:44,351
Time to go operate on
someone else
234
00:13:44,831 --> 00:13:47,001
Let me--let me just give you
something to help it heal then
235
00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:48,145
It's a topical cream
236
00:13:48,145 --> 00:13:50,474
Just put a little bit on two
or three times a day
237
00:13:50,474 --> 00:13:51,715
That's all
238
00:13:53,314 --> 00:13:55,080
"Have dinner with me tonight."
239
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,321
Gee, tonight
I don't know, I-I-I...
240
00:13:59,083 --> 00:14:03,195
I have a lot on my plate right now
a lot I need to focus on, so...
241
00:14:04,117 --> 00:14:05,355
Good-bye
242
00:14:10,321 --> 00:14:12,562
I'm coming out
Buh-pow!
243
00:14:12,562 --> 00:14:16,162
I want the world to know
I got to let it show
244
00:14:16,162 --> 00:14:18,055
I'm coming out--
245
00:14:18,055 --> 00:14:20,101
Ooh, I am coming out! Ooh
246
00:14:22,212 --> 00:14:24,869
Okay, patience, girls
Save it for Lionel
247
00:14:24,869 --> 00:14:27,389
- Wee!
- Don't do it!
248
00:14:30,383 --> 00:14:32,834
Honey... / I knew when you said
you weren't gonna sleep with Lionel
249
00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:33,952
that you would...
250
00:14:33,952 --> 00:14:36,104
because that's
what I would have done
251
00:14:36,365 --> 00:14:37,594
Sex is a drug, Karen
252
00:14:37,594 --> 00:14:40,915
I should know
I'm a licensed dealer
253
00:14:43,128 --> 00:14:44,889
I hate that you know me so well
254
00:14:44,889 --> 00:14:47,461
But who are you to judge, Judy?
255
00:14:48,664 --> 00:14:50,677
I need the touch of a strong man
256
00:14:50,677 --> 00:14:51,724
And it's not enough anymore
257
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:54,877
having Rosario wrestle me
into my robe every morning
258
00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:57,268
You have to go
Come on
259
00:14:57,268 --> 00:14:59,171
- But it's wrong
- Wha--?
260
00:14:59,171 --> 00:15:00,032
What are you talking wrong?
261
00:15:00,032 --> 00:15:03,560
You're the one who told me
monogamy was for lesbians
262
00:15:05,289 --> 00:15:07,479
And I still believe that, girl
263
00:15:08,230 --> 00:15:12,301
But I was on stage in acting class
and I had a lot of time to think
264
00:15:12,301 --> 00:15:17,719
you know, during my scene
partner's lines, and it came to me
265
00:15:17,719 --> 00:15:21,333
Maybe cheating isn't
good for a marriage
266
00:15:21,942 --> 00:15:24,913
I know, honey
But I'm not the one who messed it up
267
00:15:24,913 --> 00:15:29,524
Stanley did, when he landed himself
in jail for an extra year and a half
268
00:15:29,524 --> 00:15:31,587
I know you still love him, Kar
269
00:15:32,352 --> 00:15:33,949
And I love you...
270
00:15:33,949 --> 00:15:36,299
and your money
271
00:15:37,463 --> 00:15:39,890
I don't want to see
either one get hurt
272
00:15:40,302 --> 00:15:42,145
Oh, poodle
273
00:15:43,033 --> 00:15:45,189
You don't have to
worry about me
274
00:15:45,189 --> 00:15:47,600
I know who I'm doin'
275
00:15:53,321 --> 00:15:55,314
Oh, I'm--I'm sorry
I was looking for Grace Adler
276
00:15:55,314 --> 00:15:57,590
- I thought that she--
- No, you're right. She lives here
277
00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:01,480
Oh, okay, um, she left
her wallet in the coffee shop
278
00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:02,709
Ah, thanks
279
00:16:02,709 --> 00:16:04,058
She'll be glad to
have that back
280
00:16:04,058 --> 00:16:06,841
It's got her frequent
frozen yogurt card in it
281
00:16:07,213 --> 00:16:09,540
Just tell her Leo
dropped it off. Thanks
282
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,116
Does she know you?
283
00:16:11,116 --> 00:16:13,365
Well, we met in
the coffee shop today
284
00:16:13,365 --> 00:16:16,186
and a couple days ago I helped
her when she ran into a lamppost
285
00:16:16,186 --> 00:16:19,128
Oh, wait, you're the doctor
from the park / Right
286
00:16:19,128 --> 00:16:20,496
You're that--
287
00:16:20,496 --> 00:16:22,924
That horse guy
288
00:16:23,385 --> 00:16:27,185
Jeez, you ride a horse one time and
all of a sudden you're "that horse guy."
289
00:16:27,185 --> 00:16:29,463
And you're what
her-- her, uh...
290
00:16:29,463 --> 00:16:31,489
housekeeper?
291
00:16:35,915 --> 00:16:37,008
Who am I?
292
00:16:37,008 --> 00:16:40,274
Well, let's see, I'm the one
that's been in her life for 15 years
293
00:16:40,274 --> 00:16:41,562
I'm the one she lives with
294
00:16:41,562 --> 00:16:43,639
I'm the one she's having a child with
295
00:16:43,639 --> 00:16:45,560
So you wanna stick around
and ask her out to a movie
296
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,027
or are you pretty
much set, horse guy?
297
00:16:48,027 --> 00:16:50,260
I'm pretty much set
298
00:16:55,938 --> 00:16:59,477
I was in there two minutes
and I read an entire Us magazine
299
00:17:01,381 --> 00:17:03,015
Leo dropped this off
300
00:17:03,015 --> 00:17:05,439
Oh! Thank God
301
00:17:05,439 --> 00:17:08,431
It's got my frequent
frozen yogurt card in it
302
00:17:10,746 --> 00:17:13,090
What, aren't you happy for me?
303
00:17:13,090 --> 00:17:14,209
Who the hell is Leo
304
00:17:14,209 --> 00:17:16,975
and how long he you
been seeing him? / What?
305
00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:18,953
We aren't seeing each other
306
00:17:18,953 --> 00:17:21,219
He--he just fixed my head
when I ran into a lamppost
307
00:17:21,219 --> 00:17:22,779
and then I ran into him
at a coffee shop
308
00:17:22,779 --> 00:17:24,802
Oh, you just keep running
into things, don't you?
309
00:17:24,802 --> 00:17:26,423
Why don't you run into
a wedding chapel, get married
310
00:17:26,423 --> 00:17:28,260
and have a baby with him?
311
00:17:28,260 --> 00:17:30,072
Whoa!
312
00:17:31,377 --> 00:17:33,287
- What the hell's wrong with you?
- What's wrong with me?
313
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:34,498
You broke our pact.
314
00:17:34,498 --> 00:17:35,325
What pack?
315
00:17:35,325 --> 00:17:37,579
Not pack, pact
316
00:17:37,866 --> 00:17:41,108
- That's what I said, "pack."
- No, P-A-C--
317
00:17:41,651 --> 00:17:43,051
- Let's take a different tack
- You mean tact
318
00:17:43,051 --> 00:17:45,562
No, tack!
Tack, pact!
319
00:17:45,562 --> 00:17:47,289
One ends with a "K."
One ends with a "T."
320
00:17:47,289 --> 00:17:50,559
I know, it's ironical!
Look it up in the freakin' dictionary!
321
00:17:53,303 --> 00:17:56,938
I didn't break any p-- agreement
322
00:17:57,559 --> 00:17:59,867
All I did was have coffee with him
323
00:17:59,867 --> 00:18:02,640
And I didn't even
have coffee with him!
324
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,795
I mean, if that's not holding up
my end of the pa-- agreement
325
00:18:07,342 --> 00:18:08,978
- I don't know what is!
- Don't give me that
326
00:18:08,978 --> 00:18:12,721
I saw that look in Leo's eyes
those big beautiful eyes
327
00:18:12,721 --> 00:18:16,038
and that hair that probably
doesn't even need product!
328
00:18:16,038 --> 00:18:19,644
I bet he jumps outta the shower
in the morning and does this...
329
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:24,839
- Are you jealous?
- No, I am not jealous
330
00:18:24,839 --> 00:18:26,676
- It's just I-I-I-I-I-I--
- What?
331
00:18:26,676 --> 00:18:27,760
When you--
When you--
332
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,663
- What?
- I-I-I-I--
333
00:18:29,663 --> 00:18:32,390
I kissed a guy, okay?
334
00:18:32,939 --> 00:18:37,051
At that club the other night
the Gay Gay Gay Gay Gay club
335
00:18:37,051 --> 00:18:39,849
I did go, and I met this guy...
336
00:18:39,849 --> 00:18:42,150
a hot hot hot hot hot guy
337
00:18:42,150 --> 00:18:44,022
And I know we said we were
taking ourselves off the market
338
00:18:44,022 --> 00:18:47,718
but then this, this Pink song
came on, and...
339
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:49,616
his shirt came off
And I thought
340
00:18:49,616 --> 00:18:51,082
"I've got two choices here"
341
00:18:51,082 --> 00:18:54,721
"I can go home, and I can take
care of my future baby mama... "
342
00:18:56,147 --> 00:18:58,817
"or I can get this party started."
343
00:19:01,994 --> 00:19:03,491
And, Grace
344
00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:05,641
I got that party started
345
00:19:09,499 --> 00:19:11,432
Don't be so hard on yourself
346
00:19:12,034 --> 00:19:14,011
It's a really good song
347
00:19:17,178 --> 00:19:19,141
Anyway, I'm sorry
348
00:19:19,141 --> 00:19:22,105
And, of course, there's nothing
going on with you and that...
349
00:19:22,105 --> 00:19:24,091
horse guy
350
00:19:25,007 --> 00:19:26,829
It's okay, sweetie
351
00:19:28,462 --> 00:19:29,801
Guys are weak
352
00:19:30,743 --> 00:19:32,458
Women are tougher
353
00:19:32,748 --> 00:19:34,301
We're more reliable
354
00:19:34,301 --> 00:19:36,444
We can take care of ourselves
355
00:19:36,444 --> 00:19:40,608
Men go out and get the food
Women protect the nest
356
00:19:40,608 --> 00:19:41,849
Maybe you're right
357
00:19:41,849 --> 00:19:43,643
No, I mean it
Go and get the food
358
00:19:43,643 --> 00:19:44,914
I want some yogurt
359
00:19:44,914 --> 00:19:47,726
Don't forget to get it punched
because they don't offer
360
00:19:47,726 --> 00:19:48,648
All right
361
00:19:48,648 --> 00:19:49,506
I'll get the food
362
00:19:49,506 --> 00:19:51,286
You stay here
and protect the nest
363
00:19:52,352 --> 00:19:54,389
And by the nest, of course
I mean your hair
364
00:19:54,389 --> 00:19:57,049
And by protect, I mean
run a comb through it
365
00:20:02,967 --> 00:20:08,500
"I can't stop thinking about you
Call me. Signed, Leo's Horse."
366
00:20:09,233 --> 00:20:11,669
I can't
367
00:20:29,639 --> 00:20:31,672
Okay, Lionel train
368
00:20:31,672 --> 00:20:34,284
Get your caboose up here!
369
00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,906
Oh
370
00:20:44,601 --> 00:20:46,565
Oh, why, Stanley
26783
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