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1
00:00:05,838 --> 00:00:07,839
A paintball party?
2
00:00:07,907 --> 00:00:10,374
You say it like
you've never heard
those 2 words together.
3
00:00:10,442 --> 00:00:12,077
All right. So let me
get this straight.
4
00:00:12,144 --> 00:00:15,013
We drive 100 Miles
up into the catskills
5
00:00:15,081 --> 00:00:16,781
in order to
run around in the muck
6
00:00:16,849 --> 00:00:19,150
and shoot balls of paint
at each other?
7
00:00:19,218 --> 00:00:20,251
Yes.
8
00:00:20,319 --> 00:00:21,720
Oy.
9
00:00:21,787 --> 00:00:23,554
Come on.
It's Deacon's birthday.
10
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:25,657
You don't think
maybe the guy
should get to choose
11
00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:27,425
what he wants to do
on his own birthday?
12
00:00:27,493 --> 00:00:29,227
Honey, you really
want to do this?
13
00:00:29,294 --> 00:00:30,361
I don't care.
14
00:00:30,429 --> 00:00:32,196
Yes, he does.
15
00:00:32,264 --> 00:00:33,965
Fine. Can't afford
to paint the house,
16
00:00:34,033 --> 00:00:35,600
but we can
cram it into guns
17
00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:37,836
and shoot it
at each other.
18
00:00:37,903 --> 00:00:40,338
What are you
running from?
19
00:00:40,405 --> 00:00:43,474
Ok, can we order now?
I'm starving.
20
00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:46,210
I come knowin'
what I want.
21
00:00:46,278 --> 00:00:47,545
[People chattering]
22
00:00:53,119 --> 00:00:54,119
[Mumbling]
23
00:00:54,186 --> 00:00:55,186
Hmm?
24
00:00:55,254 --> 00:00:56,554
Pool table.
25
00:00:58,024 --> 00:00:59,724
[Carrie chattering]
26
00:00:59,792 --> 00:01:01,192
Uh-huh, no. No.
27
00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:03,494
[Both mumbling]
28
00:01:07,199 --> 00:01:08,232
Mmm.
29
00:01:09,935 --> 00:01:11,569
Burger looks good.
30
00:01:14,406 --> 00:01:15,473
[Clears throat]
31
00:01:30,823 --> 00:01:31,856
How's that?
32
00:01:31,924 --> 00:01:33,591
That's good.
Ok.
33
00:01:33,659 --> 00:01:36,728
♪ My eyesare gettin' weary ♪
34
00:01:36,796 --> 00:01:39,463
♪ my back is gettin' tight
35
00:01:39,531 --> 00:01:41,499
♪ I'm sittin' herein traffic ♪
36
00:01:41,567 --> 00:01:44,569
♪ on the queensboro bridgetonight ♪
37
00:01:44,636 --> 00:01:47,839
♪ but I don't care,'cause all I want to do ♪
38
00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:53,544
♪ is cash my checkand drive right home to you ♪
39
00:01:55,414 --> 00:01:57,082
♪ 'cause, baby, all my life
40
00:01:57,149 --> 00:01:59,650
♪ I will be drivin'home to you ♪
41
00:02:07,791 --> 00:02:09,058
(T.V. Announcer)If you like
42
00:02:09,127 --> 00:02:10,460
what the girlsdo during the day,
43
00:02:10,528 --> 00:02:11,961
wait till yousee 'em at night.
44
00:02:12,029 --> 00:02:15,465
Stay tuned for morecollege girls: Crazy in Rio.
45
00:02:15,533 --> 00:02:18,502
Oy. 200 channels
and nothing on.
46
00:02:19,903 --> 00:02:21,171
It's ok, Doug.
47
00:02:21,239 --> 00:02:24,541
You can watch
your college sluts
in Rio.
48
00:02:24,609 --> 00:02:27,110
They're not
my college sluts.
49
00:02:27,178 --> 00:02:28,345
And just so you know,
50
00:02:28,412 --> 00:02:29,479
next time we're out
51
00:02:29,547 --> 00:02:31,047
and you see a girl
you think is hot,
52
00:02:31,115 --> 00:02:32,115
you can look.
53
00:02:32,183 --> 00:02:33,183
I can?
54
00:02:33,251 --> 00:02:34,684
Yes. Just don't
be a jerk
55
00:02:34,752 --> 00:02:35,785
when you do it,
56
00:02:35,853 --> 00:02:37,454
like that thing you
do with your eyes.
57
00:02:37,522 --> 00:02:39,523
It's so creepy.
Doesn't it hurt?
58
00:02:39,590 --> 00:02:41,291
A little, but I--I
push through.
59
00:02:41,359 --> 00:02:43,059
Doug, come on.
You know
what I'm saying.
60
00:02:43,127 --> 00:02:44,561
I mean, just because
we're married,
61
00:02:44,629 --> 00:02:46,329
doesn't mean
we're not gonna be
attracted
62
00:02:46,397 --> 00:02:47,764
to other people
once in a while.
63
00:02:47,831 --> 00:02:50,567
You know, it's ok.
64
00:02:50,635 --> 00:02:52,469
I mean, I would be worried
if you weren't.
65
00:02:52,537 --> 00:02:53,670
Like janee,
my nail girl.
66
00:02:53,737 --> 00:02:54,837
You think she's hot,
right?
67
00:02:54,905 --> 00:02:55,938
No.
Doug?
68
00:02:56,006 --> 00:02:57,073
Yes.
69
00:02:57,141 --> 00:02:59,876
You see? It's ok.
You can just tell me.
70
00:02:59,943 --> 00:03:02,279
You don't have to lurk
outside the salon window
71
00:03:02,346 --> 00:03:04,347
when you come
to pick me up.
72
00:03:04,415 --> 00:03:06,349
She's purty!
73
00:03:07,685 --> 00:03:09,553
Yes, she is.
74
00:03:09,620 --> 00:03:11,188
So, come on.
Anybody else?
75
00:03:11,255 --> 00:03:13,290
You can tell me.
76
00:03:13,357 --> 00:03:14,558
Yeah, well...
77
00:03:14,625 --> 00:03:17,460
I guess there's Maggie
at the dry cleaners.
78
00:03:17,528 --> 00:03:19,729
Oh, and this toll taker
on the whitestone bridge.
79
00:03:19,797 --> 00:03:21,898
I mean, from the waist
up, she's mmm-wah! Ha-ha.
80
00:03:21,965 --> 00:03:24,767
The rest of her,
that's anybody's guess.
81
00:03:24,835 --> 00:03:27,737
That's why
you didn't get e-z pass.
82
00:03:28,972 --> 00:03:31,174
So who revs
old Carrie up, huh?
83
00:03:32,142 --> 00:03:34,277
All right. Um, well,
84
00:03:34,345 --> 00:03:36,813
I ain't hatin'
that kid, Pedro,
at the car wash.
85
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,014
Whoa! What the...
86
00:03:38,082 --> 00:03:39,716
Young, buff,
and illegal.
87
00:03:39,783 --> 00:03:41,651
Good choice.
Good choice.
88
00:03:41,719 --> 00:03:42,819
So who else?
Come on.
89
00:03:42,886 --> 00:03:44,621
I wanna-- I wanna know
what kind of nympho
90
00:03:44,689 --> 00:03:45,888
I'm dealin'
with here.
91
00:03:45,956 --> 00:03:47,557
Ok, um...
92
00:03:47,625 --> 00:03:48,991
Well, the sparkletts guy.
93
00:03:49,059 --> 00:03:50,126
[Snickers]
Ok.
94
00:03:50,194 --> 00:03:51,494
Eric at the office,
95
00:03:51,562 --> 00:03:52,829
hmm.
Deacon.
96
00:03:53,897 --> 00:03:56,499
Oh, and that guy
who power-walks
97
00:03:56,567 --> 00:03:58,401
his grey hound
in the morning.
98
00:03:58,469 --> 00:04:00,403
I'm pretty sure
he's gay, though.
99
00:04:00,471 --> 00:04:01,804
You don't have
to worry about it.
100
00:04:01,872 --> 00:04:03,306
I mean, those
little shorts, right?
101
00:04:03,374 --> 00:04:04,474
[Giggles]
Right?
102
00:04:04,542 --> 00:04:06,809
So, Deacon, huh?
103
00:04:06,877 --> 00:04:09,145
Yeah. Deacon,
among others.
104
00:04:09,213 --> 00:04:11,314
But among others,
Deacon.
105
00:04:12,683 --> 00:04:13,783
Yeah.
106
00:04:13,851 --> 00:04:16,018
So, milady's got
a thing for Deacon.
107
00:04:16,086 --> 00:04:18,054
Wants some
Deacon and eggs.
108
00:04:19,089 --> 00:04:20,423
I don't have
a thing for him,
109
00:04:20,491 --> 00:04:21,791
and it's no more
of a big deal
110
00:04:21,859 --> 00:04:23,326
than the ones you said.
111
00:04:23,394 --> 00:04:24,461
It's not a big deal.
112
00:04:24,528 --> 00:04:25,828
It's just a fun fact,
you know?
113
00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:28,365
Like a fruit fly
lives for a day,
114
00:04:28,432 --> 00:04:31,401
and my wife's hot
for my best friend.
115
00:04:31,469 --> 00:04:32,869
Who would have thunk it?
116
00:04:32,936 --> 00:04:34,304
I don't know.
117
00:04:36,641 --> 00:04:38,040
(T.V. Announcer)And we are back.
118
00:04:38,108 --> 00:04:40,443
New York down 2,3 minutes to go.
119
00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:43,380
What?
120
00:04:43,447 --> 00:04:44,714
Nothin'. I was just--
121
00:04:44,782 --> 00:04:46,015
I just noticed
that your ear's
122
00:04:46,083 --> 00:04:49,319
a little small
for your head.
123
00:04:49,387 --> 00:04:51,755
A little bit.
Just a little bit.
124
00:04:51,822 --> 00:04:53,022
I'll tell you, Doug.
125
00:04:53,090 --> 00:04:54,391
This is great
hangin' like this.
126
00:04:54,458 --> 00:04:56,225
Yeah. Glad you could
make it, guy.
127
00:04:56,294 --> 00:04:58,227
I mean before
my pizza place
went out of business,
128
00:04:58,296 --> 00:05:00,229
I--I wouldn't have time
for this stuff. Huh.
129
00:05:00,298 --> 00:05:03,065
Too busy makin' a living.
130
00:05:03,133 --> 00:05:04,601
Everything works out
for a reason.
131
00:05:04,669 --> 00:05:06,736
Whoo! I'll tell ya.
I am really lookin' forward
132
00:05:06,804 --> 00:05:08,237
to this paintball party.
133
00:05:08,306 --> 00:05:10,206
I could use
a little relaxation.
134
00:05:10,274 --> 00:05:12,942
Pow, pow, pow!
Pow, pow, pow, pow, pow!
135
00:05:14,512 --> 00:05:16,112
You spot me
a ride up there?
136
00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:17,480
What happened to your car?
137
00:05:17,548 --> 00:05:19,482
Ah, I sold it to buy
a karaoke machine
138
00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:21,751
to pump up business. Huh!
139
00:05:21,819 --> 00:05:23,152
A little late on that fad.
140
00:05:23,220 --> 00:05:24,220
Pow!
141
00:05:26,223 --> 00:05:28,257
Well. I--I can take 8
in my minivan.
142
00:05:28,326 --> 00:05:29,492
Who's going?
143
00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,027
Uh. Let's see.
You got us, uh,
144
00:05:31,094 --> 00:05:33,763
plus Carrie, Kelly,
uh, my sister Stephanie.
145
00:05:33,831 --> 00:05:35,632
(Doug)
Yeah, ride with us,
Danny.
146
00:05:36,434 --> 00:05:37,534
Hey, guys.
147
00:05:37,601 --> 00:05:38,668
Hey, man.
What's goin' on?
148
00:05:38,736 --> 00:05:39,769
What's happenin'?
149
00:05:39,837 --> 00:05:41,871
Oh, I was
just, uh, drivin' by.
150
00:05:41,939 --> 00:05:45,174
Couldn't help noticing
all the cars of my friends.
151
00:05:45,242 --> 00:05:46,476
Come on, man.
152
00:05:46,544 --> 00:05:47,644
This wasn't planned.
153
00:05:47,712 --> 00:05:49,111
It just
sort of happened.
154
00:05:49,179 --> 00:05:52,048
And I suppose
hot wings
just happened.
155
00:05:52,883 --> 00:05:54,150
Will you stop?
156
00:05:54,218 --> 00:05:55,719
You remember
my cousin Danny, right?
157
00:05:55,786 --> 00:05:57,153
Hey, man.
Good to see you.
158
00:05:57,221 --> 00:05:58,822
Hello.
Come on, guys.
159
00:05:58,889 --> 00:06:01,424
Sit down, hang out
and watch the game.
160
00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:03,893
[Sighs]
161
00:06:03,961 --> 00:06:07,764
I would, but my seat
is ocupado.
162
00:06:07,832 --> 00:06:09,232
Fine. Here.
Sit here, ok?
163
00:06:09,299 --> 00:06:10,500
I'm goin' back
to the house.
164
00:06:10,568 --> 00:06:11,835
Anybody want anything?
165
00:06:11,902 --> 00:06:13,803
Some more hot wings?
Deac?
166
00:06:13,871 --> 00:06:16,239
Uh. No, thanks, man.
Tryin' to drop
a few pounds.
167
00:06:16,306 --> 00:06:19,308
Good. Glad
you're on top of that.
168
00:06:19,377 --> 00:06:21,043
Man, I didn't know
Doug's sister
169
00:06:21,111 --> 00:06:22,579
was comin' on
this paintball thing.
170
00:06:22,646 --> 00:06:24,447
I'm thinkin'
maybe I shouldn't go.
171
00:06:24,515 --> 00:06:25,615
Why not?
172
00:06:25,683 --> 00:06:26,983
Well, like,
10 years ago,
173
00:06:27,050 --> 00:06:28,752
we all went
on this big ski trip,
174
00:06:28,819 --> 00:06:30,219
shared this big condo.
175
00:06:30,287 --> 00:06:31,488
Yeah. So?
176
00:06:31,555 --> 00:06:33,990
Yeah. So, we had
a couple drinks,
177
00:06:34,057 --> 00:06:36,158
and let's just say
I threw one her way.
178
00:06:36,226 --> 00:06:38,828
Ah. That's very
sweet of you.
179
00:06:38,896 --> 00:06:40,363
I told her that
I really liked her.
180
00:06:40,431 --> 00:06:41,731
I promised that I'd call
181
00:06:41,799 --> 00:06:43,366
as soon as
we got back to the city.
182
00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:45,635
Here's the kicker,
183
00:06:45,703 --> 00:06:47,036
I never did.
184
00:06:47,805 --> 00:06:48,971
Get out.
185
00:06:50,408 --> 00:06:52,074
So, deac.
186
00:06:52,142 --> 00:06:54,110
The big 33.
187
00:06:54,177 --> 00:06:57,146
Hey. We have got to do
something special
for your birthday.
188
00:06:57,214 --> 00:06:58,581
Oh. We are.
189
00:06:58,649 --> 00:07:00,650
Yeah. Doug's
throwing me
a paintball party upstate.
190
00:07:00,718 --> 00:07:01,818
What?
191
00:07:01,886 --> 00:07:03,152
I told you,
like, a month ago.
192
00:07:03,220 --> 00:07:04,554
You remember?
You--you called it
193
00:07:04,622 --> 00:07:07,524
"a barbaric throwback
to the worst in human nature."
194
00:07:07,591 --> 00:07:10,092
I just say things
to hear myself talk.
195
00:07:10,160 --> 00:07:12,094
You know that.
196
00:07:12,162 --> 00:07:13,797
Well. The thing is,
I mean, the teams,
197
00:07:13,864 --> 00:07:15,064
they gotta be even,
198
00:07:15,132 --> 00:07:17,834
and I, uh,
I already invited Danny.
199
00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:23,039
Oh. I see. Um...
200
00:07:23,106 --> 00:07:24,874
Hey, uh,
I'm late for a thing.
201
00:07:24,942 --> 00:07:26,643
Uh, goodbye.
202
00:07:26,710 --> 00:07:28,177
Would you hold on,
Spence?
203
00:07:28,245 --> 00:07:30,046
You can come.
204
00:07:30,113 --> 00:07:32,515
No, no. I wouldn't
want to uneven
your precious teams.
205
00:07:32,583 --> 00:07:33,850
Spence, it's ok.
206
00:07:33,918 --> 00:07:34,951
Forget it.
207
00:07:35,018 --> 00:07:36,619
I don't want
to get in the way
208
00:07:36,687 --> 00:07:38,855
of all this time
you've been spending
with your little cousin.
209
00:07:38,923 --> 00:07:41,223
And by the way,
I know about the jets game.
210
00:07:42,493 --> 00:07:43,626
I--I only took Danny
211
00:07:43,694 --> 00:07:45,595
'cause he's goin'
through a hard time
right now.
212
00:07:45,663 --> 00:07:47,296
You're comin'
to paintball. You got it?
213
00:07:47,364 --> 00:07:49,231
No!
You're comin', even if
I gotta tackle you
214
00:07:49,299 --> 00:07:50,800
and strap you
to the hood of my car.
215
00:07:50,868 --> 00:07:52,335
What are you
yellin' at Spence for?
216
00:07:52,402 --> 00:07:54,136
Because my wife
thinks you're hot.
217
00:07:56,941 --> 00:07:58,307
(Kelly)
Honey. Come on.
218
00:07:58,375 --> 00:08:00,109
We got about a million
people to pick up.
219
00:08:00,177 --> 00:08:01,511
Uh, coming.
220
00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:05,515
I am one handsome
black man.
221
00:08:07,451 --> 00:08:08,685
What are you doing,
222
00:08:08,752 --> 00:08:09,986
staring at yourself
in the mirror?
223
00:08:10,053 --> 00:08:12,388
How do you keep
your hands off me?
224
00:08:13,457 --> 00:08:15,024
What is with you today?
225
00:08:15,092 --> 00:08:16,425
Nothing.
226
00:08:16,494 --> 00:08:18,127
Oh. Some little honey
on your route
227
00:08:18,195 --> 00:08:19,529
thought you were fine?
228
00:08:19,597 --> 00:08:20,663
Nope.
229
00:08:20,731 --> 00:08:23,165
At least not anyone
on my route.
230
00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:24,300
So, who, then?
231
00:08:24,368 --> 00:08:25,668
Mmm. Better
not tell you.
232
00:08:25,736 --> 00:08:27,003
I don't want
to get you jealous
233
00:08:27,070 --> 00:08:28,571
and get
those claws out.
234
00:08:28,639 --> 00:08:30,239
Oh, please, honey.
235
00:08:30,307 --> 00:08:32,675
I think I can handle it.
236
00:08:32,743 --> 00:08:35,645
♪ It's a beautiful mornin'
237
00:08:36,747 --> 00:08:39,148
♪ ah
238
00:08:39,216 --> 00:08:43,486
♪ I think I'll go outsidefor a while ♪
239
00:08:43,554 --> 00:08:46,723
♪ and just smile
240
00:08:46,790 --> 00:08:50,292
♪ just diggin' some clean,fresh air 'cause ♪
241
00:08:55,431 --> 00:08:56,964
(Doug)
All right, people.
Listen up.
242
00:08:57,032 --> 00:08:58,266
Ok, now, the object
243
00:08:58,333 --> 00:09:00,067
is to capture
your enemy's flag.
244
00:09:00,135 --> 00:09:02,904
Ok, now, remember,
we're out here to have fun,
245
00:09:02,971 --> 00:09:04,773
but also to kill.
246
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,307
Any questions?
247
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:07,909
[All chattering]
248
00:09:10,780 --> 00:09:11,979
Ok, then.
249
00:09:13,883 --> 00:09:15,517
Here. Hon. Let me
help you with that.
250
00:09:15,584 --> 00:09:17,018
I got it,
251
00:09:17,085 --> 00:09:19,287
but maybe you ought to
go help your girlfriend.
252
00:09:21,390 --> 00:09:23,458
[Scoffs]
253
00:09:23,526 --> 00:09:24,926
Need some help
with that?
254
00:09:24,993 --> 00:09:26,728
No, I think I got it.
255
00:09:29,197 --> 00:09:30,698
Been a long
time, huh?
256
00:09:30,766 --> 00:09:32,099
Has it?
257
00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:34,736
You look
real good.
258
00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:37,605
You mean I'm not
the fat cow I used to be.
259
00:09:37,673 --> 00:09:39,808
Yeah, right.
260
00:09:39,875 --> 00:09:41,976
Ok, well, let's get
this show on the road.
261
00:09:42,044 --> 00:09:43,978
Where the hell is Carrie?
262
00:09:44,713 --> 00:09:45,980
[Sighs]
263
00:09:46,048 --> 00:09:47,549
Ok. That was unpleasant.
264
00:09:47,616 --> 00:09:49,784
Could you hurry up?
We're choosing up teams.
265
00:09:49,852 --> 00:09:51,018
Oh, oh, I'm sorry.
266
00:09:51,086 --> 00:09:52,720
It was so lovely
in there, I lingered.
267
00:09:52,788 --> 00:09:54,422
Hey, could you make
a little effort
268
00:09:54,490 --> 00:09:55,657
to enjoy this?
269
00:09:55,724 --> 00:09:58,626
If not for me,
at least for Deacon.
270
00:09:58,694 --> 00:10:01,062
Oy, would you stop
with that already?
271
00:10:01,129 --> 00:10:02,564
You're the one
who can't stop...
272
00:10:02,631 --> 00:10:04,198
Loving him.
273
00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:05,433
Yeah.
That's right, Doug.
274
00:10:05,501 --> 00:10:06,734
I got it bad
for Deacon.
275
00:10:06,802 --> 00:10:08,436
Guess what?
We're planning to kill you
276
00:10:08,504 --> 00:10:10,972
and run away
with your millions.
277
00:10:11,039 --> 00:10:12,574
Hey. Come on, man.
Let's choose sides
278
00:10:12,641 --> 00:10:13,908
and get this
paint war started.
279
00:10:13,976 --> 00:10:15,743
(Deacon)
You can have first pick.
280
00:10:15,811 --> 00:10:17,111
Let me see.
281
00:10:17,179 --> 00:10:21,583
Who would I like
to have by my side?
282
00:10:21,650 --> 00:10:23,518
I will take Kelly.
283
00:10:23,586 --> 00:10:25,186
Get over here,
Ms. foxy brown.
284
00:10:25,253 --> 00:10:26,888
Comin', colonel.
285
00:10:26,956 --> 00:10:29,123
Ok. You got my wife,
I'll take yours.
286
00:10:29,191 --> 00:10:31,359
Carrie.
Come on, sugar.
287
00:10:31,426 --> 00:10:34,462
Yes.
This just feels right.
288
00:10:34,530 --> 00:10:37,064
Yeah? Well, we can
just stop pickin'
right now,
289
00:10:37,132 --> 00:10:38,299
and we'd have
a winning team.
290
00:10:38,367 --> 00:10:41,235
Oh, yeah?
Well, so can we.
291
00:10:41,303 --> 00:10:43,304
I guess we'd better
keep pickin', though.
292
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,774
(Deacon)
I take Louis.
293
00:10:48,677 --> 00:10:49,978
You know what?
294
00:10:50,045 --> 00:10:52,046
Why doesn't someone
just give me a wedgie now
295
00:10:52,114 --> 00:10:54,215
and complete
my humiliation?
296
00:10:54,282 --> 00:10:55,783
Well, I told you
you'd be extra.
297
00:10:55,851 --> 00:10:56,951
Well, what are we
gonna do?
298
00:10:57,019 --> 00:10:58,486
(Strohmeyer)
Excuse me.
299
00:11:01,657 --> 00:11:05,126
Do you need
any additional personnel?
300
00:11:05,193 --> 00:11:07,194
Uh, uh, yeah, great.
We'll, uh...
301
00:11:07,262 --> 00:11:08,462
We'll get you
some equipment.
302
00:11:08,531 --> 00:11:09,864
No need.
303
00:11:09,932 --> 00:11:12,266
I have all
the necessary equipment...
304
00:11:12,334 --> 00:11:13,768
In my vehicle.
305
00:11:15,170 --> 00:11:16,838
[Crickets chirping]
306
00:11:22,277 --> 00:11:24,245
[Birds chirping]
307
00:11:24,312 --> 00:11:25,747
Ok, how long are we
gonna sit here?
308
00:11:25,814 --> 00:11:26,881
'Cause
I gotta be honest.
309
00:11:26,949 --> 00:11:28,382
I really thought
there was gonna be
310
00:11:28,450 --> 00:11:29,784
a lot more
running and shooting.
311
00:11:29,852 --> 00:11:31,553
This is
a lot of-- lurking.
312
00:11:31,620 --> 00:11:33,354
Shh!
313
00:11:33,422 --> 00:11:34,722
It's just that
we only rented the field
till 2:30.
314
00:11:34,790 --> 00:11:36,190
After that,
we've gotta pay extra.
315
00:11:36,258 --> 00:11:37,391
Shh!
316
00:11:37,459 --> 00:11:38,793
Ok, you don't
have to shush me! Ok?
317
00:11:38,861 --> 00:11:39,861
I'm a person.
318
00:11:39,929 --> 00:11:41,829
We've been sittin' here
for 45 minutes, ok?
319
00:11:41,897 --> 00:11:43,297
I want to start
shootin' people.
320
00:11:43,365 --> 00:11:45,733
Doug, yelling at me
will not keep your wife
321
00:11:45,801 --> 00:11:48,636
from lusting
after your best friend.
322
00:11:48,704 --> 00:11:50,104
How--how did you
know that?
323
00:11:50,172 --> 00:11:51,873
I believe
the question is,
324
00:11:51,941 --> 00:11:54,776
"how did you not know?"
325
00:11:54,843 --> 00:11:56,978
They're--they're not
having an affair
or anything.
326
00:11:57,046 --> 00:11:58,947
You know, she just, uh,
327
00:11:59,014 --> 00:12:00,982
thinks he's
kind of attractive,
328
00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:02,951
but it doesn't
really matter.
329
00:12:03,018 --> 00:12:04,552
And it's
eating you alive.
330
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:07,154
Yes, it is.
Yep, yep.
331
00:12:07,222 --> 00:12:08,255
[Paintball gun firing]
332
00:12:08,323 --> 00:12:09,591
[Whimpers]
333
00:12:11,794 --> 00:12:13,027
[Louis screams]
334
00:12:17,066 --> 00:12:18,232
[Groans]
335
00:12:20,035 --> 00:12:21,202
[Sighs]
336
00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:23,437
Time for a 2nd coat.
337
00:12:23,505 --> 00:12:26,808
Ow! It's just a game,
you psycho.
338
00:12:26,875 --> 00:12:27,976
Let's go, Doug.
339
00:12:28,043 --> 00:12:29,711
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you all right, man?
340
00:12:29,778 --> 00:12:30,778
(Strohmeyer)
Doug!
341
00:12:30,846 --> 00:12:32,146
I gotta go.
342
00:12:33,115 --> 00:12:35,049
[Whistling]
343
00:12:44,693 --> 00:12:47,261
Try and take my place?
344
00:12:47,329 --> 00:12:49,363
Think again, pizza boy.
345
00:12:52,935 --> 00:12:54,602
[Crickets chirping]
346
00:12:58,140 --> 00:12:59,206
Crap.
347
00:13:05,681 --> 00:13:07,148
Hey.
348
00:13:07,215 --> 00:13:09,283
Oh. Hi, kel.
349
00:13:10,085 --> 00:13:11,519
Kill anybody yet?
350
00:13:11,586 --> 00:13:12,620
Nope.
351
00:13:14,456 --> 00:13:16,691
God, this paintball thing
is so stupid.
352
00:13:16,759 --> 00:13:17,892
I know.
353
00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,460
[Both laughing]
354
00:13:22,898 --> 00:13:24,632
Oh! Oh, it's on now!
355
00:13:31,807 --> 00:13:33,340
[Screams]
Oh, my God.
356
00:13:33,408 --> 00:13:35,076
You ok?
What's goin' on?
357
00:13:35,144 --> 00:13:36,778
[Gasping]
Your wife's
gunning for me.
358
00:13:36,845 --> 00:13:38,112
She's got
crazy eyes.
359
00:13:38,180 --> 00:13:40,347
Oh. She's taking this
worse than I thought.
360
00:13:40,415 --> 00:13:42,416
Taking what worse?
361
00:13:42,484 --> 00:13:44,152
[Snickers]
You know.
362
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:46,754
Oh, my God.
363
00:13:46,822 --> 00:13:48,122
Did Doug tell you?
364
00:13:48,190 --> 00:13:49,223
Uh-huh.
365
00:13:49,291 --> 00:13:50,892
Oh, my.
366
00:13:50,959 --> 00:13:52,560
God. Ok.
367
00:13:52,627 --> 00:13:54,062
Chunky dies today.
368
00:14:02,104 --> 00:14:03,571
[Paintball gun fires]
369
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:10,111
Hey! That went
right by my ear.
370
00:14:10,179 --> 00:14:12,346
Yeah,
'cause I missed.
371
00:14:12,414 --> 00:14:14,816
All right.
Now I gotta shoot you.
372
00:14:14,883 --> 00:14:16,217
Fine. Just don't say
373
00:14:16,284 --> 00:14:18,920
you're gonna call me
after you shoot me.
374
00:14:18,987 --> 00:14:21,689
Hey, look. I'm sorry
about not calling you, ok?
375
00:14:21,757 --> 00:14:25,326
It's--it's just that,
uh, my phone was broke.
376
00:14:25,393 --> 00:14:27,128
And I--I blew my nose
on the napkin
377
00:14:27,196 --> 00:14:28,462
that had your number on it,
378
00:14:28,530 --> 00:14:30,464
and I couldn't tell
if it was 667--
379
00:14:30,532 --> 00:14:31,599
would you shut up?
380
00:14:31,666 --> 00:14:34,001
You know, I--I really
liked you, Richie.
381
00:14:34,069 --> 00:14:35,169
Sorry.
382
00:14:36,205 --> 00:14:38,239
But you know what?
383
00:14:38,306 --> 00:14:40,274
Hand to God.
When I saw you today,
384
00:14:40,342 --> 00:14:42,710
I thought, "wow.
385
00:14:42,778 --> 00:14:44,345
She looks good now."
386
00:14:45,748 --> 00:14:46,748
Really?
387
00:14:46,815 --> 00:14:47,915
[Richie chuckling]
388
00:14:49,151 --> 00:14:50,551
That's sweet.
389
00:14:51,987 --> 00:14:52,954
Oh!
390
00:14:54,356 --> 00:14:56,924
Jeez. My aim
is better than I thought.
391
00:14:58,727 --> 00:15:01,295
(Stephanie)
Look, Richie.
I'm, I'm sorry.
392
00:15:01,363 --> 00:15:03,364
I'm sorry, Richie.
You're gonna be ok.
393
00:15:04,233 --> 00:15:05,199
Oh.
394
00:15:08,003 --> 00:15:09,570
Ah! I'm out of ammo!
395
00:15:09,638 --> 00:15:10,704
[Grunts]
396
00:15:10,773 --> 00:15:11,839
[Grunts]
397
00:15:11,907 --> 00:15:13,875
I'm out, too.
398
00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:15,643
So, what
do we do now?
399
00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:16,710
[Grunts]
400
00:15:16,779 --> 00:15:19,113
First, we calm down.
401
00:15:20,615 --> 00:15:22,650
I think my crown
came loose.
402
00:15:23,886 --> 00:15:24,952
Our only chance
403
00:15:25,020 --> 00:15:26,620
is to head for
those woods over there,
404
00:15:26,688 --> 00:15:29,223
pick up more ammunition,
and head on back.
405
00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:30,357
Ok. Ok.
406
00:15:30,425 --> 00:15:31,725
[Paintball gun firing]
407
00:15:31,794 --> 00:15:32,794
[Grunts]
408
00:15:32,861 --> 00:15:33,861
Um...
409
00:15:33,929 --> 00:15:35,729
I don't know
if you believe in God.
410
00:15:35,798 --> 00:15:38,833
But this might be
a fine time to say
a little prayer.
411
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:40,334
[Sighs]
Ok. Ok.
412
00:15:43,138 --> 00:15:44,071
Well...
413
00:15:44,873 --> 00:15:46,040
Oh, God,
414
00:15:46,875 --> 00:15:48,709
bless us, father,
415
00:15:48,777 --> 00:15:49,811
for the paint
416
00:15:49,878 --> 00:15:52,246
we are about to shoot...
417
00:15:54,516 --> 00:15:56,450
I'm really more
of an "amen" guy.
418
00:15:58,921 --> 00:16:00,288
Doug, let's go. On 3.
419
00:16:00,355 --> 00:16:02,123
1, 2...
420
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:07,328
He, uh, he didn't
give me a 3.
421
00:16:07,395 --> 00:16:09,697
[Paintball gun firing]
422
00:16:15,270 --> 00:16:17,205
[Paintball gun firing]
423
00:16:20,775 --> 00:16:22,710
[Firing continues]
424
00:16:31,453 --> 00:16:32,786
[Grunts]
425
00:16:32,855 --> 00:16:34,088
[Sighs]
426
00:16:34,156 --> 00:16:35,890
(Danny)
Hold it.
427
00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:37,458
Oh, God.
428
00:16:40,495 --> 00:16:42,196
Why are you
stalking me?
429
00:16:42,264 --> 00:16:43,764
I'm not.
430
00:16:43,832 --> 00:16:45,166
(Danny)
What did
I ever do to you?
431
00:16:45,234 --> 00:16:47,735
None of your
b-I-beeswax!
432
00:16:47,802 --> 00:16:49,036
[Grunts]
433
00:16:49,104 --> 00:16:50,271
[Moans]
434
00:16:50,339 --> 00:16:52,039
[Both grunting]
435
00:16:56,879 --> 00:16:58,579
[Grunting continues]
436
00:16:59,214 --> 00:17:00,481
[Laughing]
437
00:17:04,386 --> 00:17:06,220
[Screaming]
438
00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:08,055
[Grunting]
439
00:17:08,123 --> 00:17:09,390
[Panting]
440
00:17:09,457 --> 00:17:10,524
[Groaning]
441
00:17:10,592 --> 00:17:11,759
[Gasping]
442
00:17:11,826 --> 00:17:14,795
I left my inhaler
in the van.
443
00:17:14,863 --> 00:17:17,131
[Laughs]
444
00:17:17,199 --> 00:17:18,966
Take that!
445
00:17:19,034 --> 00:17:20,801
[Both gasping]
446
00:17:20,869 --> 00:17:22,636
[Wheezing]
447
00:17:24,373 --> 00:17:25,773
[Laughs]
448
00:17:27,042 --> 00:17:28,309
Please! No!
449
00:17:28,377 --> 00:17:30,211
[Gasping]
450
00:17:30,279 --> 00:17:31,445
[Inhales]
451
00:17:31,513 --> 00:17:32,513
[Danny gasping]
452
00:17:32,580 --> 00:17:33,680
[Laughs]
453
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,716
[Wheezing]
454
00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:40,154
[Inhales]
455
00:17:40,222 --> 00:17:42,156
[Both panting]
456
00:17:45,693 --> 00:17:47,061
This is fun.
457
00:17:47,129 --> 00:17:48,162
Yeah.
458
00:17:50,299 --> 00:17:51,299
Ha!
459
00:17:59,774 --> 00:18:01,842
Ok, you never told me
what this means.
460
00:18:01,910 --> 00:18:03,911
I don't even know.
461
00:18:03,979 --> 00:18:05,246
Where are they?
All right?
462
00:18:05,314 --> 00:18:07,281
Maybe you were wrong.
Maybe they're not here.
463
00:18:07,349 --> 00:18:09,283
[Paintball guns firing]
464
00:18:13,255 --> 00:18:14,822
[Firing continues]
465
00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:26,700
[Panting]
466
00:18:33,508 --> 00:18:35,542
[Panting]
I can't--
I can't do this.
467
00:18:36,445 --> 00:18:39,246
I'm not good at war.
468
00:18:39,314 --> 00:18:41,682
You really don't have
an ounce of self-respect,
469
00:18:41,749 --> 00:18:42,916
do you?
470
00:18:42,985 --> 00:18:44,885
I just want lunch.
471
00:18:44,953 --> 00:18:47,421
For God's sakes, man.
Tuck in your underwear.
472
00:18:53,828 --> 00:18:55,562
Ok, I gotta get back.
473
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,402
Hey. Stephanie.
474
00:19:03,171 --> 00:19:04,638
So are you
gonna call me?
475
00:19:04,706 --> 00:19:06,940
Yeah, sure.
I'll--I'll call you.
476
00:19:12,947 --> 00:19:14,815
All right.
477
00:19:14,883 --> 00:19:17,684
What do we have here?
478
00:19:20,455 --> 00:19:22,256
Oh, extra crispy.
479
00:19:22,324 --> 00:19:23,590
Winner.
480
00:19:24,359 --> 00:19:25,893
Don't move.
481
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,461
[Laughs]
482
00:19:28,363 --> 00:19:29,497
You're right, Carrie.
483
00:19:29,564 --> 00:19:31,365
Yep. He likes
his chicken.
484
00:19:31,433 --> 00:19:34,068
Yeah? Well. Now
he's finger-lickin' dead.
485
00:19:35,537 --> 00:19:36,570
Good one.
486
00:19:36,638 --> 00:19:38,439
[Scoffs]
So long, my man.
487
00:19:39,141 --> 00:19:40,174
Hold it!
488
00:19:40,242 --> 00:19:42,043
Yeow!
489
00:19:42,110 --> 00:19:43,444
Go ahead, man.
Pull the trigger,
490
00:19:43,512 --> 00:19:45,312
but if you shoot me,
Kelly shoots you.
491
00:19:45,380 --> 00:19:47,281
Yeah, well,
if Kelly shoots me,
Carrie shoots Kelly.
492
00:19:47,349 --> 00:19:48,416
Then I shoot Carrie.
493
00:19:48,483 --> 00:19:49,716
Doug, you shoot me,
494
00:19:49,784 --> 00:19:51,085
and you're
never getting sex again.
495
00:19:51,153 --> 00:19:52,253
You can't do that!
496
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,521
Oh, it's done.
497
00:19:55,157 --> 00:19:56,990
(Doug)
All right,
we're gettin' crazy here.
498
00:19:57,059 --> 00:19:58,092
Look, man, we...
499
00:19:58,160 --> 00:19:59,626
We all came up here
to celebrate
500
00:19:59,694 --> 00:20:00,727
my best friend's birthday,
501
00:20:00,795 --> 00:20:02,796
and we're acting
like idiots.
502
00:20:02,864 --> 00:20:04,965
Come on,
let's all just...
503
00:20:05,033 --> 00:20:07,668
Let's calm down, ok?
504
00:20:07,735 --> 00:20:09,103
All right.
You're right.
505
00:20:09,171 --> 00:20:10,637
I'm tired.
506
00:20:10,705 --> 00:20:12,173
[Gun clicks]
507
00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,240
What was that?
508
00:20:13,308 --> 00:20:14,341
Nothin'.
509
00:20:14,409 --> 00:20:15,476
You were
gonna shoot me,
510
00:20:15,544 --> 00:20:16,710
but your gun
jammed.
511
00:20:16,778 --> 00:20:18,279
I think you're wrong.
512
00:20:18,346 --> 00:20:19,913
Oh, man.
You are unbelievable.
513
00:20:19,981 --> 00:20:21,082
Leave him alone!
514
00:20:21,149 --> 00:20:22,516
This is your fault,
Deacon!
515
00:20:22,584 --> 00:20:24,651
Hey! I can't help
bein' fine.
516
00:20:25,887 --> 00:20:27,188
And I can't believe
517
00:20:27,255 --> 00:20:29,523
you told Deacon
what I said.
518
00:20:29,591 --> 00:20:31,692
Well, I couldn't
have told him
if you didn't tell me.
519
00:20:31,759 --> 00:20:32,826
You asked.
520
00:20:32,894 --> 00:20:34,261
I didn't want
to hear Deacon.
521
00:20:34,329 --> 00:20:36,497
I wanted Pedro
at the car wash.
522
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:39,433
All right.
You're right.
523
00:20:39,501 --> 00:20:41,768
I--I--I started
this whole thing.
524
00:20:44,172 --> 00:20:47,408
Go ahead.
Take a free shot at me.
525
00:20:47,476 --> 00:20:48,809
I'm not gonna
shoot you.
526
00:20:48,876 --> 00:20:50,777
No. Come on. Come on.
You'll feel better.
527
00:20:50,845 --> 00:20:53,714
Here. Have a piece
of chicken and shoot me.
528
00:20:53,781 --> 00:20:55,549
You'll be a new man.
529
00:20:55,617 --> 00:20:56,917
(Strohmeyer)
Hold it.
530
00:20:56,985 --> 00:20:59,019
Say good night,
little lady.
531
00:21:19,707 --> 00:21:21,775
I thought
he was going
for the chicken.
532
00:21:28,617 --> 00:21:30,317
Honey, I'm home!
533
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:33,587
Where the hell
have you been?
534
00:21:33,655 --> 00:21:36,957
Oh, were you at
that stupid
paintball place again?
535
00:21:37,025 --> 00:21:38,192
I--I went--
I went-- I just--
536
00:21:38,260 --> 00:21:39,460
"I went--
I went-- I went..."
537
00:21:39,528 --> 00:21:41,728
You know the Hendersons
are coming for bridge.
538
00:21:41,796 --> 00:21:43,063
I mean, look at you.
539
00:21:43,131 --> 00:21:44,931
Would you take
that stupid
rag off your head?
540
00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:47,734
I got-- I got--
I got the ice cream
you wanted.
541
00:21:49,204 --> 00:21:50,771
This is frozen yogurt.
542
00:21:50,838 --> 00:21:52,706
My God.
You're an idiot.
543
00:21:54,476 --> 00:21:55,643
[Stuttering]
544
00:21:55,710 --> 00:21:57,077
I'll go back.
35647
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