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Previously on "Impastor"...
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How come every time you save me
from someone, they end up dead?
3
00:00:04,659 --> 00:00:06,526
Would you rather have
it the other way around?
4
00:00:06,958 --> 00:00:09,154
- You ever seen this guy?
- No.
5
00:00:09,179 --> 00:00:11,697
- I'm in love with you.
- Do you mean that?
6
00:00:11,752 --> 00:00:13,818
And if I wasn't around,
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- you'd be dead.
- How is that?
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Guy with a gun to your head?
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00:00:17,824 --> 00:00:19,157
You shot him?
10
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But how? What were you doing out there?
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00:00:23,742 --> 00:00:26,109
I saw that guy hit you
and throw you in the trunk,
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00:00:26,111 --> 00:00:27,544
so I followed you.
13
00:00:27,546 --> 00:00:29,046
And then when he took
you into the woods,
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00:00:29,048 --> 00:00:30,414
I had to do something.
15
00:00:30,416 --> 00:00:32,399
And you just happened to have a gun?
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00:00:32,424 --> 00:00:34,584
Ever since Kenny, I
kept one in the trunk.
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00:00:35,287 --> 00:00:36,853
And you just happened
to be a great shot?
18
00:00:36,855 --> 00:00:38,747
I grew up hunting with my dad.
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00:00:40,543 --> 00:00:41,686
Alexa,
20
00:00:42,249 --> 00:00:44,168
why didn't you tell me this before?
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Can't you infer that part?
22
00:00:46,553 --> 00:00:48,899
Maybe I could if I
knew what "infer" meant.
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00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:51,230
I had just shot a man.
24
00:00:51,255 --> 00:00:54,132
I didn't know who he was
or why he wanted you dead.
25
00:00:54,157 --> 00:00:57,140
Buddy, this is insane.
26
00:00:57,142 --> 00:00:59,420
I still can't sleep thinking about it.
27
00:00:59,445 --> 00:01:02,541
I have to know. Who was that guy I shot?
28
00:01:02,754 --> 00:01:03,854
All right.
29
00:01:04,142 --> 00:01:06,484
He was some right-wing religious nut
30
00:01:06,509 --> 00:01:08,548
who hated the idea
of gays being pastors.
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00:01:08,573 --> 00:01:10,253
At least that's what he told me.
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- A religious nut?
- Yes.
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Then why didn't you go to the police?
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Because I don't want the rest
35
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of his hetero hit squad coming after me.
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00:01:18,867 --> 00:01:22,599
Buddy, do you really
expect me to believe that?
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- Hi.
- Hey.
38
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I forgot my knitting.
39
00:01:27,631 --> 00:01:28,872
Everything okay?
40
00:01:28,874 --> 00:01:30,050
Yeah.
41
00:01:30,075 --> 00:01:32,248
Alexa just came by to borrow a...
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an orange. Here you go.
43
00:01:33,807 --> 00:01:35,471
- Oh, thanks.
- Sure.
44
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:36,998
Well, have a good night.
45
00:01:42,161 --> 00:01:44,901
Well, that was weird.
46
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Really weird.
47
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Who comes by to borrow an orange?
48
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I couldn't stop thinking about
49
00:01:54,921 --> 00:01:56,760
what Alexa had told me
50
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and how she wasn't buying
what I had told her.
51
00:02:00,622 --> 00:02:02,129
Hey, guys.
52
00:02:02,154 --> 00:02:03,319
What are you doing?
53
00:02:03,725 --> 00:02:05,992
Just pounding a tasty corn dog.
54
00:02:05,994 --> 00:02:07,439
Buddy, how could you eat there?
55
00:02:07,464 --> 00:02:08,915
They're antigay.
56
00:02:09,278 --> 00:02:11,108
Well, I wasn't flaunting it.
57
00:02:11,133 --> 00:02:13,102
These corn dog bigots are using
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00:02:13,127 --> 00:02:16,040
so-called religious grounds
to discriminate against us.
59
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We're boycotting them until
they change their policy.
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00:02:18,174 --> 00:02:19,778
I told you all about this.
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00:02:19,803 --> 00:02:22,725
Russell, sometimes when it
looks like I'm listening to you,
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I'm actually lost in prayer.
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I won't apologize for that.
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Well, now that you know,
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00:02:27,899 --> 00:02:30,998
you are gonna get rid of that, right?
66
00:02:33,591 --> 00:02:35,558
- Dora?
- Hi.
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00:02:35,560 --> 00:02:37,360
Yes, as you know, the election
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00:02:37,362 --> 00:02:39,195
for church president is next week,
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00:02:39,486 --> 00:02:42,654
and once again, I'm
leading in the polls.
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00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:43,715
Oh, Alden.
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00:02:43,740 --> 00:02:45,145
You make the same joke every year.
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00:02:45,170 --> 00:02:47,910
Nobody ever runs
against you, so... ha-ha!
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00:02:47,935 --> 00:02:50,428
Oh! People have run
against me in the past,
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00:02:50,453 --> 00:02:51,971
at their peril.
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00:02:52,156 --> 00:02:55,378
If you remember, my
last opponent vanished.
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00:02:55,568 --> 00:02:58,702
Glenn moved to Boise
to open a Krispy Kreme.
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00:02:58,868 --> 00:03:00,383
Well, that's your version.
78
00:03:00,618 --> 00:03:03,124
Anyway, I'll be giving my
victory speech next Sunday,
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00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:05,345
so I'll need you to draw up a list
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00:03:05,370 --> 00:03:08,624
of all my accomplishments
over the last year.
81
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,317
Your accomplishments?
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00:03:10,342 --> 00:03:13,086
Like the rummage sale or
the drive for the homeless
83
00:03:13,111 --> 00:03:14,947
or maybe the inter-faith breakfast,
84
00:03:14,972 --> 00:03:17,406
which were all my ideas?
85
00:03:17,431 --> 00:03:19,135
Which I authorized.
86
00:03:24,926 --> 00:03:27,763
- Hey, Alexa.
- Sheriff Graham, hi.
87
00:03:27,788 --> 00:03:29,345
You know, I'm so glad I ran into you.
88
00:03:29,347 --> 00:03:32,499
I wanted to ask you about Ray Florez,
89
00:03:32,524 --> 00:03:35,962
the now-deceased guy you said
you hadn't seen but you had.
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00:03:36,872 --> 00:03:40,254
How is it someone you
didn't know have your number
91
00:03:40,279 --> 00:03:43,066
and texted you, "Car's
gone. You're next"?
92
00:03:43,091 --> 00:03:44,524
I have no idea.
93
00:03:44,549 --> 00:03:47,163
I guess I was his next
Lutheran Trinity target.
94
00:03:47,165 --> 00:03:48,998
Ohh, okay. Oh, hey.
95
00:03:49,023 --> 00:03:50,120
Can you pass me a couple sugars?
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00:03:50,145 --> 00:03:51,938
I've got a bit of a sweet tooth.
97
00:03:51,963 --> 00:03:53,696
Oh, my goodness.
98
00:03:54,027 --> 00:03:55,322
Where did you get those bruises?
99
00:03:55,347 --> 00:03:56,806
Oh, these? They're nothing.
100
00:03:57,117 --> 00:03:58,233
Well... uh...
101
00:03:58,258 --> 00:03:59,999
looks like you have a matching set.
102
00:04:00,245 --> 00:04:02,247
Well, okay.
103
00:04:02,272 --> 00:04:03,772
Just between us,
104
00:04:03,882 --> 00:04:05,948
I have an adventurous
side in the bedroom.
105
00:04:05,950 --> 00:04:07,450
Ohh.
106
00:04:07,452 --> 00:04:09,252
Get it, girl.
107
00:04:12,590 --> 00:04:13,956
Finally...
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a place where no one will judge me.
109
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Buddy?
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Buddy?
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00:04:21,909 --> 00:04:24,226
What's up?
112
00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:28,163
We need to talk.
113
00:04:28,188 --> 00:04:30,240
People are saying you
don't care about gay rights,
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00:04:30,265 --> 00:04:32,241
and it's getting very
hard to defend you.
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00:04:32,820 --> 00:04:33,876
Defend me?
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00:04:33,878 --> 00:04:38,114
I have been sheltering you
like a lioness with her cub,
117
00:04:38,116 --> 00:04:40,283
but you haven't done one
thing for the gay community
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00:04:40,285 --> 00:04:42,285
since you got here.
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00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,230
I hooked up with Steve the mailman.
120
00:04:44,255 --> 00:04:45,755
That was pretty gay.
121
00:04:45,757 --> 00:04:48,758
No youth outreach program,
no LGBT fund raiser,
122
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,927
no gay-straight alliance
symposium, nothing.
123
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,143
You haven't even come to one
of our weekly coffee meet-ups.
124
00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:55,831
There. That's the one!
125
00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:57,766
I'll do the coffee thing!
126
00:04:57,801 --> 00:04:59,602
We're talking like an hour, right?
127
00:05:06,476 --> 00:05:07,909
- Oh, Dora, hi.
- Hi.
128
00:05:07,934 --> 00:05:09,979
- Can I ask you a favor?
- Shoot.
129
00:05:10,219 --> 00:05:11,681
Although I probably
shouldn't be saying that
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00:05:11,683 --> 00:05:13,215
to someone who's packing heat.
131
00:05:14,619 --> 00:05:16,084
Um, you know, from what I hear,
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00:05:16,109 --> 00:05:17,948
you're pretty tapped into
things around this town.
133
00:05:18,209 --> 00:05:21,018
Well, I have always felt you
can observe a lot by watching.
134
00:05:21,043 --> 00:05:23,162
Mmm, well, that's great
because I really could use
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00:05:23,187 --> 00:05:24,727
some help on this Ray Florez case.
136
00:05:24,729 --> 00:05:26,112
Ray Florez? Isn't he the guy
137
00:05:26,137 --> 00:05:27,491
that burned Buddy's car?
138
00:05:27,756 --> 00:05:30,284
You are tapped in. See, the thing is,
139
00:05:30,309 --> 00:05:32,049
I have reason to believe
that Pastor Barlow
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00:05:32,074 --> 00:05:34,170
knows more about Ray's
death than he's letting on.
141
00:05:34,172 --> 00:05:36,706
I'd like for you to find
out what you can for me.
142
00:05:36,708 --> 00:05:38,924
So... so you want me to spy on Buddy?
143
00:05:38,949 --> 00:05:41,536
Oh, no, no, no, just keep
your eyes and ears open,
144
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,546
particularly when he's around Alexa.
145
00:05:44,337 --> 00:05:45,148
I'm sorry, Sheriff.
146
00:05:45,173 --> 00:05:47,683
I'm just not comfortable with that.
147
00:05:47,685 --> 00:05:49,719
Okay, I understand.
148
00:05:49,721 --> 00:05:51,620
But if you do happen to hear something,
149
00:05:51,622 --> 00:05:53,255
give me a call.
150
00:06:00,287 --> 00:06:02,353
The sheriff is starting
to put the pieces together.
151
00:06:02,378 --> 00:06:04,258
She noticed the bruises on my wrists
152
00:06:04,283 --> 00:06:05,527
from where Ray tied me up.
153
00:06:05,552 --> 00:06:06,683
What did you tell her?
154
00:06:06,708 --> 00:06:08,504
That I was adventurous in the bedroom.
155
00:06:08,506 --> 00:06:10,473
How adventurous?
156
00:06:10,475 --> 00:06:12,594
Butt stuff?
157
00:06:12,619 --> 00:06:15,920
In case she asks, we need
to have our stories straight.
158
00:06:16,271 --> 00:06:18,047
Buddy, I have the bulletin that...
159
00:06:18,049 --> 00:06:21,283
Oh... sorry for interrupting.
160
00:06:23,219 --> 00:06:26,086
Okay, I'll just give
you two some privacy.
161
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,786
I need to know.
162
00:06:35,867 --> 00:06:37,661
Are we in this together or not?
163
00:06:37,686 --> 00:06:40,321
- Of course we are.
- Then no more bullshit!
164
00:06:40,346 --> 00:06:43,722
Who was that man I shot?
165
00:06:43,747 --> 00:06:46,982
It's the only way that I'll
ever be able to trust you.
166
00:06:54,170 --> 00:06:56,552
His name was Damien.
167
00:06:56,554 --> 00:06:59,021
And he was a bad, bad dude.
168
00:06:59,249 --> 00:07:01,383
You did the world a favor
by getting rid of him.
169
00:07:04,062 --> 00:07:05,862
Why was he trying to kill you?
170
00:07:06,105 --> 00:07:08,964
I owed him a lot of money.
171
00:07:08,966 --> 00:07:11,434
From gambling.
172
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,720
Look, I thought I'd be able
to leave my debts in the past
173
00:07:13,745 --> 00:07:16,238
and make a fresh start in
Ladner, but he found me.
174
00:07:18,448 --> 00:07:20,376
And that's the truth.
175
00:07:25,016 --> 00:07:27,124
You think that was impressive?
176
00:07:27,165 --> 00:07:28,598
Watch this.
177
00:07:34,263 --> 00:07:36,763
You guys, guess who's
coming to Judson Theater.
178
00:07:36,788 --> 00:07:38,220
"Thin Lizzy." Who's in?
179
00:07:38,245 --> 00:07:39,422
Oh, I'm in.
180
00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:42,892
Got my T-shirt from
their '97 world tour.
181
00:07:43,116 --> 00:07:44,927
Buddy, "Thin Lizzy" is a one-woman show
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00:07:44,952 --> 00:07:46,462
about a girl with body issues.
183
00:07:46,621 --> 00:07:47,887
Oh, then I'm out.
184
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:49,699
I'm not into skinny chicks.
185
00:07:49,843 --> 00:07:51,242
Or any chicks.
186
00:07:51,267 --> 00:07:53,367
Vaginas? No thanks.
187
00:07:53,392 --> 00:07:54,325
Am I right?
188
00:08:00,337 --> 00:08:01,624
Ooh, look!
189
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:04,063
Our Corn Dog House boycott
just got another like.
190
00:08:04,088 --> 00:08:05,689
That makes 17.
191
00:08:05,955 --> 00:08:07,892
You know, if you want to take
down these corn dog jerks,
192
00:08:07,917 --> 00:08:09,652
you need to go bigger than social media.
193
00:08:09,865 --> 00:08:11,308
You gotta make some noise.
194
00:08:11,391 --> 00:08:13,311
What do you mean? Like a protest?
195
00:08:13,336 --> 00:08:15,542
- Sure.
- What a fantastic idea
196
00:08:15,567 --> 00:08:17,934
from this active
leader of our community.
197
00:08:17,936 --> 00:08:20,303
And that was just off
the top of my dome.
198
00:08:20,305 --> 00:08:23,539
How 'bout we protest Corn
Dog House Sunday afternoon?
199
00:08:23,541 --> 00:08:25,141
- Yeah!
- Okay.
200
00:08:25,143 --> 00:08:27,210
Yeah, go get 'em, guys.
201
00:08:30,382 --> 00:08:32,349
I mean, let's go get 'em, guys.
202
00:08:32,351 --> 00:08:33,517
Yeah.
203
00:08:33,519 --> 00:08:34,651
You're part of it.
204
00:08:39,046 --> 00:08:41,925
You are breathtakingly beautiful.
205
00:08:42,392 --> 00:08:44,094
- Thank you.
- Please.
206
00:08:44,096 --> 00:08:46,930
- I thought we were going out.
- I thought we were staying in.
207
00:08:46,932 --> 00:08:48,765
Tie goes to the man.
208
00:08:48,767 --> 00:08:50,467
That's why we wear 'em.
209
00:08:50,469 --> 00:08:52,740
As a symbol of who it goes to.
210
00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:53,748
Oh.
211
00:08:55,307 --> 00:08:58,542
And I just happen to have here...
212
00:08:58,544 --> 00:08:59,740
Alden, can I ask you a question?
213
00:08:59,765 --> 00:09:01,064
Sure.
214
00:09:01,089 --> 00:09:03,890
Are you afraid to be
seen in public with me?
215
00:09:03,915 --> 00:09:06,149
No, of course not.
216
00:09:06,285 --> 00:09:08,652
It's okay. You can be honest.
217
00:09:08,654 --> 00:09:10,187
Is it because of your wife?
218
00:09:10,189 --> 00:09:12,163
Uh, my soon-to-be ex-wife.
219
00:09:12,188 --> 00:09:15,336
And I'm not afraid of her... anymore.
220
00:09:15,361 --> 00:09:17,327
Well, are you embarrassed by me?
221
00:09:17,329 --> 00:09:19,478
What? No!
222
00:09:19,503 --> 00:09:22,638
I... I'm crazy about you.
223
00:09:26,605 --> 00:09:28,739
By damn, you're right.
224
00:09:28,741 --> 00:09:32,776
It is time we show the
world we're a couple.
225
00:09:32,778 --> 00:09:37,047
You know that cute, little
French bistro on Elm Street?
226
00:09:37,049 --> 00:09:39,267
I hear they're tearing
that down to build condos.
227
00:09:39,292 --> 00:09:41,292
Soon as I get the permit.
228
00:09:43,756 --> 00:09:45,322
You know this guy?
229
00:09:45,324 --> 00:09:46,990
His name's Kenny Banderas.
230
00:09:46,992 --> 00:09:49,426
Isn't he the poor soul
who committed suicide?
231
00:09:49,428 --> 00:09:51,226
Apparent suicide.
232
00:09:51,452 --> 00:09:54,158
Turns out he and Ray
Florez were cellmates
233
00:09:54,183 --> 00:09:56,446
way out there in Massachusetts.
234
00:09:56,868 --> 00:09:58,571
Oh, small world.
235
00:09:58,596 --> 00:09:59,770
I know!
236
00:09:59,772 --> 00:10:01,638
Two men who have no
connection whatsoever
237
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:05,275
to the town of Ladner both
come here and wind up dead.
238
00:10:05,277 --> 00:10:07,744
What are the odds?
239
00:10:07,746 --> 00:10:09,813
I'd say roughly nine-to-one.
240
00:10:09,815 --> 00:10:12,649
I know you have a connection to Ray
241
00:10:12,651 --> 00:10:14,618
and Ray has a connection to Kenny.
242
00:10:14,620 --> 00:10:18,722
I don't know how you and
Alexa have a connection
243
00:10:18,747 --> 00:10:21,815
to poor, dead Kenny... yet.
244
00:10:22,256 --> 00:10:24,561
Maybe we should pray on it.
245
00:10:25,849 --> 00:10:27,315
Mm-mm.
246
00:10:27,420 --> 00:10:28,786
Oh, that reminds me.
247
00:10:28,867 --> 00:10:32,002
I brought you a Bible for your desk.
248
00:10:32,004 --> 00:10:33,503
There.
249
00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:35,972
Now you look like a real pastor.
250
00:11:07,106 --> 00:11:09,339
Holy sh... spirit.
251
00:11:15,514 --> 00:11:16,928
Hello there, Alden.
252
00:11:16,953 --> 00:11:17,850
Oh.
253
00:11:17,875 --> 00:11:20,775
And, uh, Ashlee, right?
254
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,527
Welcome to Ladner Trinity.
255
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:24,988
Keep your mouth shut.
256
00:11:24,990 --> 00:11:27,120
First time you ever wanted that.
257
00:11:27,983 --> 00:11:30,760
Uh, I understand you and
the Pastor know each other.
258
00:11:30,762 --> 00:11:33,563
Does he understand all our
conversations were confidential?
259
00:11:33,565 --> 00:11:36,032
Oh, well, what little
conversation we had.
260
00:11:36,774 --> 00:11:40,036
Well, I'm just happy to know
all my counseling paid off.
261
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,772
Yes. To see her kneeling before you,
262
00:11:42,774 --> 00:11:46,636
her mouth open, ready to
receive the body of Christ,
263
00:11:46,784 --> 00:11:48,578
it warmed my heart.
264
00:11:48,992 --> 00:11:51,081
You've got some nerve.
265
00:11:51,231 --> 00:11:52,597
Well, I should get going.
266
00:11:52,762 --> 00:11:55,018
Bringing your little harlot to church.
267
00:11:55,020 --> 00:11:57,687
Hi. The harlot's name is Ashlee.
268
00:11:58,363 --> 00:12:01,191
For God's sake, you have
hemorrhoids older than her.
269
00:12:01,441 --> 00:12:02,933
Not anymore.
270
00:12:02,958 --> 00:12:04,290
I found a cream.
271
00:12:04,402 --> 00:12:06,754
Now you're the only pain in my ass.
272
00:12:07,799 --> 00:12:10,233
The sheriff knows Ray
and Kenny were cellmates.
273
00:12:10,235 --> 00:12:11,757
What? Oh, God, Buddy.
274
00:12:11,782 --> 00:12:13,436
- This is bad.
- Maybe not.
275
00:12:13,438 --> 00:12:14,377
As long as there's no evidence
276
00:12:14,402 --> 00:12:16,234
tracing us back to Kenny, we're fine.
277
00:12:16,341 --> 00:12:18,208
The gun that I used to save you with
278
00:12:18,210 --> 00:12:20,744
is the same one that was
used in the Boston robbery.
279
00:12:20,746 --> 00:12:23,947
It is in my closet. It
is registered to Kenny.
280
00:12:23,949 --> 00:12:26,950
Jesus, Alexa! People
usually keep a sweatshirt
281
00:12:26,952 --> 00:12:28,718
from their ex-boyfriend, not a gun.
282
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:31,454
Lot of good a sweatshirt would
have done you out in the woods.
283
00:12:31,479 --> 00:12:33,275
- We have to get rid of it.
- How?
284
00:12:34,134 --> 00:12:35,743
We'll do it together tonight.
285
00:12:47,065 --> 00:12:50,707
Sheriff Graham? It's Dora Winston.
286
00:12:50,709 --> 00:12:53,176
I think maybe we should talk.
287
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,251
- Dora!
- Whoo!
288
00:13:00,642 --> 00:13:03,222
Can you believe Alden?
Parading that hussy in front
289
00:13:03,224 --> 00:13:04,824
of the whole congregation.
290
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:06,826
Oh, I'm so sorry, Hilva.
291
00:13:06,851 --> 00:13:09,273
That must have been
really emotional for you.
292
00:13:09,298 --> 00:13:11,931
It wasn't. I accept my marriage is over.
293
00:13:11,933 --> 00:13:14,791
What I will not accept is
Alden and his teen lover
294
00:13:14,816 --> 00:13:16,379
bringing down this church.
295
00:13:16,404 --> 00:13:18,337
Bringing down the church? How?
296
00:13:18,339 --> 00:13:21,966
Congregants are appalled
with his indecent behavior.
297
00:13:21,991 --> 00:13:23,576
We could lose members.
298
00:13:23,578 --> 00:13:26,812
Pearl, Maryanne, both of the Joyces.
299
00:13:26,814 --> 00:13:28,256
Do you want me to talk to them?
300
00:13:28,281 --> 00:13:30,356
Although I really only know
the Joyces from that time
301
00:13:30,381 --> 00:13:32,748
we all carpooled to Quilt-A-Mania Four.
302
00:13:33,117 --> 00:13:37,056
I want you to run for church president.
303
00:13:37,058 --> 00:13:39,458
Me? You think that I could be president?
304
00:13:39,460 --> 00:13:41,958
Why not? You've put in the years.
305
00:13:41,983 --> 00:13:44,083
You know how things run.
306
00:13:44,422 --> 00:13:46,532
I always thought you didn't like me.
307
00:13:46,534 --> 00:13:48,801
- I don't.
- Oh, okay.
308
00:13:48,803 --> 00:13:50,536
But I think you could win.
309
00:13:53,775 --> 00:13:56,042
Where's Buddy? We said
we were meeting at 2:00.
310
00:13:56,044 --> 00:13:57,645
Don't worry. He said he'll be here.
311
00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:58,611
He'll be here.
312
00:14:01,314 --> 00:14:03,092
Buddy? Do you have a minute?
313
00:14:03,117 --> 00:14:07,186
I'm... I'm curious about
something I heard you say to Alexa.
314
00:14:07,188 --> 00:14:08,587
What thing was that?
315
00:14:08,589 --> 00:14:11,213
It just went something like, quote:
316
00:14:11,238 --> 00:14:12,343
"We have to get rid of it.
317
00:14:12,368 --> 00:14:14,124
We'll do it together tonight."
318
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:15,875
End quote.
319
00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:18,764
Oh... that.
320
00:14:18,766 --> 00:14:21,000
What was the thing you
needed to get rid of?
321
00:14:23,715 --> 00:14:27,750
Dora... if I tell you something,
322
00:14:27,752 --> 00:14:30,453
can I absolutely trust
you to keep it between us?
323
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:31,977
Of course.
324
00:14:31,979 --> 00:14:34,287
The thing we're getting rid of...
325
00:14:35,405 --> 00:14:37,872
is a ghost.
326
00:14:37,952 --> 00:14:39,218
- A ghost?
- Yeah.
327
00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:40,376
I know it sounds silly,
328
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:43,124
but Alexa believes
there's one in her store.
329
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:44,745
When she opens up in the morning,
330
00:14:44,770 --> 00:14:46,948
she says there's clothes everywhere.
331
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:50,926
And she wants you to remove this ghost?
332
00:14:51,676 --> 00:14:53,268
Well, who you gonna call?
333
00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:58,604
Buddy, spirits from beyond
are nothing to trifle with.
334
00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,700
Maybe I should go with you.
335
00:14:59,725 --> 00:15:01,192
No, no, no, no.
336
00:15:01,217 --> 00:15:03,617
Alexa swore me to secrecy.
337
00:15:03,811 --> 00:15:06,942
Well, be firm, and don't
be afraid to call upon
338
00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:08,714
the Archangel Michael to help guide
339
00:15:08,716 --> 00:15:10,236
the lost soul to the light.
340
00:15:10,261 --> 00:15:12,284
Yeah, I was gonna do that, for sure.
341
00:15:12,286 --> 00:15:14,620
Ooh! And also, maybe you
should light some sage.
342
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:17,273
You know, just to burn off the
negative energy in the store.
343
00:15:17,298 --> 00:15:18,812
Not a rookie.
344
00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:22,105
Two, four, six, eight!
345
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,207
Your corn dogs are deep-fried in hate!
346
00:15:24,232 --> 00:15:26,385
I know you think Buddy walks on water,
347
00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:29,735
but he has to walk with us, right now.
348
00:15:29,737 --> 00:15:31,437
He's here.
349
00:15:31,439 --> 00:15:34,398
- Jeffrey, what's up?
- It's good to see you, Buddy.
350
00:15:34,423 --> 00:15:36,876
- We weren't sure you'd make it.
- Oh, come on.
351
00:15:36,878 --> 00:15:40,179
Being gay isn't all
rainbows and pecker play.
352
00:15:40,514 --> 00:15:41,547
Gotta do the work.
353
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,870
So let's give this restaurant...
354
00:15:43,895 --> 00:15:45,113
20 minutes of hell.
355
00:15:48,894 --> 00:15:50,731
- Hi.
- Hi.
356
00:15:50,756 --> 00:15:52,456
So, what do you have for me?
357
00:15:52,481 --> 00:15:54,668
Nothing. I'm sorry.
358
00:15:54,693 --> 00:15:56,670
You wouldn't have called me
if you didn't have something.
359
00:15:56,695 --> 00:15:59,617
Well, um, I thought I
did, but I was wrong.
360
00:15:59,642 --> 00:16:03,880
Dora, withholding information
about a crime is a crime.
361
00:16:03,882 --> 00:16:05,415
Did Pastor Barlow get to you?
362
00:16:05,761 --> 00:16:06,931
You shouldn't be protecting
363
00:16:06,956 --> 00:16:08,488
someone involved in a murder.
364
00:16:08,513 --> 00:16:10,464
You think that Buddy is involved?
365
00:16:10,489 --> 00:16:11,888
Are you crazy?
366
00:16:11,890 --> 00:16:14,257
He could never hurt anyone.
367
00:16:14,259 --> 00:16:15,859
You know what?
368
00:16:15,861 --> 00:16:17,494
This conversation is over.
369
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:19,585
Not until I say it's over.
370
00:16:22,701 --> 00:16:24,400
All right, it's over.
371
00:16:24,402 --> 00:16:26,318
Your corn dogs are yummy!
372
00:16:26,343 --> 00:16:28,308
Your owner's a dummy!
373
00:16:28,333 --> 00:16:30,267
Your corn dogs are yummy!
374
00:16:30,292 --> 00:16:31,958
Your owner's a dummy!
375
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:33,843
Look! They're here.
376
00:16:35,080 --> 00:16:36,307
- A news van?
- Yeah.
377
00:16:36,332 --> 00:16:37,864
We took your advice to go bigger.
378
00:16:37,889 --> 00:16:39,249
You're gonna be on TV.
379
00:16:39,251 --> 00:16:40,892
I knew a lot of people in Portland,
380
00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,492
people who thought I was dead
and knew I wasn't a pastor.
381
00:16:43,517 --> 00:16:46,439
Hi, Karyn Lee. You
must be Pastor Barlow.
382
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,790
Thank you so much for doing this.
383
00:16:47,792 --> 00:16:49,472
I knew you'd come through for us.
384
00:16:49,497 --> 00:16:52,598
Rolling in five, four, three...
385
00:16:53,658 --> 00:16:55,058
And we're rolling!
386
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:58,357
Hi, I'm Karyn Lee, and I'm here with...
387
00:16:58,359 --> 00:17:01,293
Pastor, the camera is over here.
388
00:17:01,894 --> 00:17:04,861
I'm here with Pastor
Jonathan Barlow as he protests
389
00:17:04,886 --> 00:17:08,267
a conservative Christian
restaurant's antigay policies.
390
00:17:08,269 --> 00:17:10,302
Now, Pastor...
391
00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:14,550
What are you doing?
392
00:17:14,858 --> 00:17:17,883
Uh, that's a... that's a good question.
393
00:17:17,908 --> 00:17:22,358
But the better question is,
394
00:17:22,383 --> 00:17:24,404
what is Corn Dog House doing?
395
00:17:25,619 --> 00:17:29,301
They're not serving food
to gay people like me.
396
00:17:29,326 --> 00:17:31,693
- Yeah.
- But why the bag?
397
00:17:36,643 --> 00:17:38,463
Because it shouldn't matter
398
00:17:38,465 --> 00:17:41,366
what we look like or who we love.
399
00:17:41,916 --> 00:17:45,203
Whether you're black,
white, gay, or straight,
400
00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,157
we all deserve delicious
beef franks wrapped
401
00:17:48,182 --> 00:17:50,584
in a sweet corn breading.
402
00:17:50,609 --> 00:17:51,775
- Right.
- Right, guys?
403
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,666
- Right! Yeah!
- Right!
404
00:17:53,668 --> 00:17:54,674
Yeah.
405
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:56,940
And we're not taking these bags off
406
00:17:56,964 --> 00:18:00,932
until Corn Dog House
changes its policies!
407
00:18:00,934 --> 00:18:04,987
America, it's time to stop homophobia!
408
00:18:05,012 --> 00:18:06,104
- Yes!
- Stop it!
409
00:18:06,106 --> 00:18:08,907
Let's bag the hate once and for all!
410
00:18:08,909 --> 00:18:10,909
- Yeah!
- Bag the hate!
411
00:18:10,911 --> 00:18:12,811
Bag the hate!
412
00:18:12,813 --> 00:18:14,646
Bag the hate!
413
00:18:14,648 --> 00:18:17,849
Bag the hate! Bag the hate!
414
00:18:17,851 --> 00:18:20,085
Bag the hate!
415
00:18:20,296 --> 00:18:22,573
Wow, #bagheads is blowing up.
416
00:18:22,598 --> 00:18:24,890
Corn Dog House says they're
reviewing their policies.
417
00:18:30,406 --> 00:18:32,416
Whoa! Easy on the corners.
418
00:18:32,441 --> 00:18:33,648
I think someone's following us.
419
00:18:33,673 --> 00:18:34,980
- Who would be following us?
- I don't know.
420
00:18:35,005 --> 00:18:36,437
But I'm gonna lose him.
421
00:18:41,917 --> 00:18:43,708
God damn it.
422
00:18:43,710 --> 00:18:45,501
We have a murder weapon in the car!
423
00:18:45,526 --> 00:18:47,827
I know we have a murder
weapon in the car!
424
00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:51,474
All right, let me do the talking.
425
00:18:55,057 --> 00:18:56,831
License and registration.
426
00:18:57,658 --> 00:18:58,990
Here you go.
427
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,654
Why were you trying to get
away from me, Mr. Barlow?
428
00:19:03,795 --> 00:19:07,365
Pastor Barlow, and I thought
somebody was following me.
429
00:19:07,768 --> 00:19:09,501
Why would someone be following you?
430
00:19:09,526 --> 00:19:11,603
And what brings you all the
way out here from Ladner?
431
00:19:11,897 --> 00:19:14,593
Oh, we're returning
from a prayer meeting.
432
00:19:15,639 --> 00:19:18,053
Is that so, ma'am?
433
00:19:18,078 --> 00:19:21,179
You seem nervous... you got
something to be nervous about?
434
00:19:21,181 --> 00:19:22,948
Like I said, we thought somebody...
435
00:19:22,950 --> 00:19:25,650
I was talking to the lady.
436
00:19:25,652 --> 00:19:27,819
Officer, we have something
in the car we shouldn't have.
437
00:19:27,821 --> 00:19:29,721
No, we don't. No, we don't.
438
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:37,439
It's drugs. Marijuana.
439
00:19:37,681 --> 00:19:40,707
You do know marijuana
is legal here in Oregon.
440
00:19:41,363 --> 00:19:42,529
Really?
441
00:19:42,603 --> 00:19:43,476
Oh, my God.
442
00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:44,736
I'm from out of state,
443
00:19:44,738 --> 00:19:46,835
so I thought I was in big trouble.
444
00:19:46,860 --> 00:19:47,939
Well, you're not.
445
00:19:47,941 --> 00:19:49,641
Well, maybe not with him,
446
00:19:49,643 --> 00:19:51,810
but we're gonna have
a little chat, missy.
447
00:19:52,152 --> 00:19:53,520
Drugs are wack.
448
00:19:58,138 --> 00:19:59,671
You two have a nice night now.
449
00:19:59,780 --> 00:20:00,743
- Thank you, Officer.
- You too, Officer.
450
00:20:00,768 --> 00:20:01,700
Thank you.
451
00:20:07,525 --> 00:20:09,092
Yes!
452
00:20:09,255 --> 00:20:10,547
That was awesome!
453
00:20:10,571 --> 00:20:11,302
Oh, my...
454
00:20:11,327 --> 00:20:13,208
- You were awesome!
- Oh, my God!
455
00:20:13,233 --> 00:20:15,367
My heart is racing a mile a minute.
456
00:20:15,369 --> 00:20:16,868
Feel! Feel!
457
00:20:17,385 --> 00:20:18,703
Oh, sh...
458
00:20:29,271 --> 00:20:30,371
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