Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:04,436
♪ Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:05,973 --> 00:00:09,953
♪ Traveled down the
road and back again
3
00:00:09,977 --> 00:00:11,421
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:16,359
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:16,383 --> 00:00:20,430
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,454 --> 00:00:24,835
♪ Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:29,205
♪ You would see the
biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:29,229 --> 00:00:31,741
♪ And the card
attached would say
9
00:00:31,765 --> 00:00:37,435
♪ "Thank you for
being a friend" ♪
10
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:08,878
Oh... Oh, Dorothy!
11
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,680
What do you mean,
sneaking up on me like that?
12
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,115
You scared me half to death!
13
00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,784
I'm sorry, Rose. Next
time I walk into a dark room
14
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:15,819
in the middle of the night,
15
00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:18,922
I'll send a mariachi
band ahead of me.
16
00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,624
What are you doing up?
17
00:01:20,648 --> 00:01:22,626
I thought I heard
a strange noise.
18
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:24,928
What kind of strange noise?
19
00:01:24,952 --> 00:01:28,165
Like someone walking
slowly up creaking stairs.
20
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:29,966
We don't have stairs.
21
00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:33,035
I know! How strange is that?
22
00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:35,538
What are you doing?
23
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:38,140
Well, I thought I heard
a prowler outside.
24
00:01:38,164 --> 00:01:39,642
Oh, my God, Dorothy! Why
didn't you call the police?
25
00:01:39,666 --> 00:01:40,844
Oh, no, no.
26
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:42,879
It turned out it was
a neighbor's cat,
27
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:47,284
trying to mate with
our plastic flamingo.
28
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:50,553
What is it? I heard
screams! What's happening?
29
00:01:50,577 --> 00:01:52,355
No, nothing.
Everything's fine, Blanche.
30
00:01:52,379 --> 00:01:56,592
We never should
have watched Psycho.
31
00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:59,528
For 25 years, I have
avoided that picture,
32
00:01:59,552 --> 00:02:01,664
even when Stan
invited me to the Roxy
33
00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:04,434
instead of over to his
mother's house for dinner.
34
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:06,869
And it turned out that
my instincts were right.
35
00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:12,342
Norman Bates is scarier
than my mother-in-law.
36
00:02:12,366 --> 00:02:14,878
And a much better dresser.
37
00:02:14,902 --> 00:02:16,813
Oh, I never should
have watched it, either.
38
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:20,083
It always upsets me,
especially that shower scene.
39
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:27,524
Why, it's the reason I
prefer not to shower alone.
40
00:02:27,548 --> 00:02:30,393
Sure, Blanche. And
Goldilocks and the Three Bears
41
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,818
is why you prefer
not to sleep alone.
42
00:02:34,555 --> 00:02:37,367
Well, at least we're not
alone tonight. Oh, boy.
43
00:02:37,391 --> 00:02:39,002
You know, there is nothing worse
44
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:43,306
than being wide awake
and scared and by yourself.
45
00:02:43,330 --> 00:02:45,175
Oh, yes there is -
46
00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:49,745
being wide awake and
scared and by yourself without
47
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:52,916
a double-fudge chocolate
cheesecake in the freezer.
48
00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,918
Ah! I'll get the silverware.
49
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,120
I feel better already.
50
00:02:57,144 --> 00:03:00,857
You know, I never used to do
anything like this with my old roommates.
51
00:03:00,881 --> 00:03:03,894
You had roommates
before us? I never knew that.
52
00:03:03,918 --> 00:03:06,396
Oh, yes. Two very
eccentric old ladies
53
00:03:06,420 --> 00:03:11,234
who used to bathe together
and floss each other's teeth.
54
00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,803
I kicked them out one
morning, and that very afternoon,
55
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:16,606
went down to the supermarket
to advertise for new ones.
56
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:19,030
That was when I first met Rose.
57
00:03:32,112 --> 00:03:34,958
Are you OK? Oh, I'm fine.
58
00:03:34,982 --> 00:03:37,526
Oh, I know exactly what
you're going through.
59
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:39,629
I can read it in
your face. You can?
60
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:42,999
Oh, sure. Your husband or
your boyfriend dumped you.
61
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,601
Oh, honey, don't
let it get you down.
62
00:03:44,625 --> 00:03:46,402
It's just the nature
of the beast.
63
00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:50,039
They'd do it in the
mud if they had to.
64
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,474
You just go sleep
with his best friend.
65
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:57,580
That'll even up the score.
66
00:03:57,604 --> 00:04:01,985
Am I on Candid Camera?
67
00:04:02,009 --> 00:04:04,054
You mean, you didn't get dumped?
68
00:04:04,078 --> 00:04:06,989
Well, actually, I
did, by my landlord.
69
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:08,491
He threw me out of my apartment,
70
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:11,227
but I couldn't sleep
with his best friend.
71
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,096
He's over 80 years old
72
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:16,466
and thinks he's the
Archduke Ferdinand.
73
00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,435
Why did he throw you out?
74
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:20,604
Well, the new owners of
the building don't allow cats,
75
00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,539
and I'm not about to
part with Mr. Peepers.
76
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:26,209
Oh, I guess you two have
been through a lot together, huh?
77
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:28,979
Yes, I found him last week.
78
00:04:29,003 --> 00:04:32,282
But I wouldn't feel right
having a home if he didn't.
79
00:04:32,306 --> 00:04:34,251
We've become very attached.
80
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,386
You know, I think that shows
great strength of character.
81
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:38,355
I like you and I like cats.
82
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:39,989
I also happen to
have a room for rent,
83
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:41,524
and the name is
Blanche Devereaux.
84
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:45,928
Why would you name a
room Blanche Devereaux?
85
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:47,830
That's very good.
86
00:04:47,854 --> 00:04:50,700
I like a roommate
with a sense of humor.
87
00:04:50,724 --> 00:04:54,070
My last two roommates were two
old sticks in the mud from Minnesota.
88
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,806
Oh! Tell me a little
bit about yourself.
89
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,541
Well, my name is Rose Nylund
90
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:01,877
and I'm from Minnesota.
91
00:05:01,901 --> 00:05:03,980
Stop it, girl.
You're killing me.
92
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,115
Oh, but I'm not a
stick in the mud.
93
00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:07,883
Oh, listen, I can
let my hair down
94
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,253
and get crazy with the
best of them. Really?
95
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,088
Hey, I think we'd
get along great.
96
00:05:12,112 --> 00:05:13,657
I got a feeling
you're a wild woman.
97
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:16,526
Oh, you bet I am.
98
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,683
I eat raw cookie dough.
99
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:23,767
And occasionally, I run
through the sprinklers
100
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:26,302
and don't wear a bathing cap.
101
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,526
And at Christmas, I've been known
to put away more than one eggnog.
102
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:36,379
What's the matter? I think
I'd better keep looking.
103
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,715
Oh, I'll stop eating
raw cookie dough.
104
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:40,382
No, honey, that's not
it. It's just the two of us
105
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:42,852
have nothing in common. We're
just two different kinds of people.
106
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:44,776
It wouldn't work
out, believe me.
107
00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:51,694
Can I pet your cat, lady?
Why, sure, sweetheart.
108
00:05:51,718 --> 00:05:54,130
What's his name? Mr. Peepers.
109
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,566
I had a cat just like him.
His name was Harpo.
110
00:05:57,590 --> 00:06:00,136
But he died. I miss him.
111
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:04,206
Oh, well, you'll have to
get yourself another kitty.
112
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:06,776
Would your mommy let
you have another kitty?
113
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:10,046
Yeah, she said she would
get me one next week.
114
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:12,248
Well, if you'll promise
115
00:06:12,272 --> 00:06:15,018
to give him a really,
really good home,
116
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:18,921
I'll let you have
Mr. Peepers. Great!
117
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:21,024
Would it be OK if
I call him Harpo?
118
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,093
Well, I don't think he'd mind.
119
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:24,594
Thanks a lot, lady.
120
00:06:24,618 --> 00:06:27,853
There you go, sweetheart. Mom!
121
00:06:28,588 --> 00:06:30,533
Say, Rose... Um...
122
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,435
Look, now, I'm not
making any promises,
123
00:06:32,459 --> 00:06:35,405
but how would you like to take a
look at that Blanche Devereaux room?
124
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,373
Really? I'd love to.
125
00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:42,678
Come on, let's go. By the
way, what's your name?
126
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,280
That last remark was the reason
127
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:46,449
I didn't let you move
in that same day.
128
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:48,584
But after I saw what
I had to choose from,
129
00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:50,953
you seemed like
a gift from heaven.
130
00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:54,357
You wouldn't believe some
of the people I interviewed.
131
00:06:54,381 --> 00:07:00,263
Well, I think that about
completes our tour, Madame Zelda.
132
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,233
Anything else I can
tell you about the place?
133
00:07:03,257 --> 00:07:05,835
Yes. Was a young
woman in a nurse's uniform
134
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,903
murdered in this
house with a handsaw?
135
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,506
Heavens, no!
136
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:10,807
Are you sure?
137
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:13,142
I'm getting a very
strong vibration.
138
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,311
I see a woman
in a white uniform,
139
00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:16,513
writhing and screaming.
140
00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:18,148
And there's a man
kneeling over her.
141
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:19,915
If it was last
Wednesday, that was me
142
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,207
and the gentleman
I'm currently dating...
143
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:28,524
but that was a
French maid's uniform.
144
00:07:29,850 --> 00:07:32,161
Mrs. Devereaux, you must
leave this house at once.
145
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:34,030
It's possessed
by an evil spirit.
146
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:37,333
Actually, it's possessed
by Miami Federal.
147
00:07:37,357 --> 00:07:40,102
And at seven percent, you
couldn't blast me out of here.
148
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:43,039
Yes? Are you Blanche Devereaux?
149
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:45,808
Yes, what can I do for you?
Well, I'm Dorothy Zbornak.
150
00:07:45,832 --> 00:07:48,678
This is my mother,
Sophia Petrillo.
151
00:07:48,702 --> 00:07:50,880
Remember we spoke on the
phone about sharing the house?
152
00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:52,315
Yes. Come in, uh-huh.
153
00:07:52,339 --> 00:08:00,339
Move in this house and
you'll die an agonizing death.
154
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:03,726
Thank you, Madame
Zelda. Goodbye.
155
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,061
Oh, ladies, I'm
sorry about that.
156
00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:09,131
You get so many weirdos when
you run an ad in the newspapers.
157
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:11,000
Please sit down.
158
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:13,168
Well, are you ladies
159
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:15,338
considering taking both rooms?
160
00:08:15,362 --> 00:08:16,706
Oh, no. Just me.
161
00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:19,042
Mother lives at the Shady
Pines Retirement Home.
162
00:08:19,066 --> 00:08:20,843
Oh, the Shady Pines. I
know the Shady Pines -
163
00:08:20,867 --> 00:08:22,312
it's a lovely place.
164
00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:25,648
It's a prison.
165
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:30,019
They lock us in our rooms and
force us to look like we're having fun.
166
00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:32,744
Then they take pictures
for their brochure.
167
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:37,794
Ma, you know that's not true.
168
00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,295
You'll have to excuse my mother
169
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:40,930
she recently had a stroke,
170
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:44,400
and her perception is a
little, you know, distorted.
171
00:08:44,424 --> 00:08:47,971
Oh, I understand. No, you don't.
172
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:50,773
Why don't we start out
with a tour of the house
173
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:53,977
and later on we'll sit down and go
over that application you filled out.
174
00:08:54,001 --> 00:08:57,913
Wonderful. Oh, your
house is just breathtaking.
175
00:08:57,937 --> 00:09:00,583
I know.
176
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:03,742
You said it looked like
a dump from the outside.
177
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,193
This is the lanai.
178
00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:11,760
It is wonderful in
the summertime.
179
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:14,163
Especially if you like to
sunbathe with your top off.
180
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,131
Oh, really, really?
181
00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:18,067
And the neighbors can't see in.
182
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,091
Oh, sure they can.
183
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:25,830
The woman has "slut"
embroidered on her underwear.
184
00:09:28,669 --> 00:09:30,947
Dear things, I'm afraid
I'm running a little late.
185
00:09:30,971 --> 00:09:32,448
May I just ask you
a few questions?
186
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:34,483
Well, of course. Go right ahead.
187
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:39,555
What do you call an
inhabitant of Guam?
188
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:43,159
I don't know. A
Guamanian, I guess.
189
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,994
What does this have to
do with renting the room?
190
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:48,619
Oh, nothing. I just wanted
to finish my crossword puzzle.
191
00:09:50,056 --> 00:09:52,001
Now, then, Dorothy,
192
00:09:52,025 --> 00:09:54,070
would you say you
are a very neat person?
193
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,739
Oh, yes. Very, very neat.
194
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,163
Please. You're neat
and I wear a D-cup.
195
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:06,182
At that moment, I was
convinced I'd blown it.
196
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:09,018
I was sure I'd made
a bad first impression.
197
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:10,385
But then I met Rose,
198
00:10:10,409 --> 00:10:12,521
and I realized I could
have shown up naked,
199
00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:15,124
playing a ukulele and
still gotten the room.
200
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:17,960
Oh, it's been such a lovely day.
201
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:20,762
Mr. Sunshine really
gave us one of his
202
00:10:20,786 --> 00:10:22,999
biggest and brightest smiles.
203
00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:26,302
Oh, I feel like putting my
arms around Mother Nature
204
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:29,606
and giving her a big kiss.
Hi, you must be Dorothy.
205
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:33,242
And you must be Mrs. Rogers.
206
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:37,847
No, but we have a Mrs.
Rogers at the Grief Center.
207
00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:40,616
Oh, and there's a Mrs.
Rogers lives across the street.
208
00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,618
Then of course,
there's Dale Evans,
209
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,988
the most famous Mrs.
Rogers of them all.
210
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:49,025
I didn't catch your name.
211
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,826
I'm Rose Nylund,
your new roomie.
212
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:53,496
Blanche has told
me all about you.
213
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:57,166
Sorry your husband dumped you.
214
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:59,535
You can borrow my bubble
bath anytime you want.
215
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,571
That'll help ease
the lonely nights.
216
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:04,040
Thank you very much.
217
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,242
I see you two are
getting acquainted.
218
00:11:06,266 --> 00:11:08,410
Yes, I'm just gonna
take my stuff to my room.
219
00:11:08,434 --> 00:11:10,947
It's the second on the
left down the hall there?
220
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,182
Dorothy, the second
on the left is mine.
221
00:11:13,206 --> 00:11:14,917
Blanche had promised it to me.
222
00:11:14,941 --> 00:11:17,820
Blanche promised it to me,
too. Didn't you, Blanche?
223
00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:19,956
Whoops.
224
00:11:19,980 --> 00:11:22,858
Oh, great, great.
225
00:11:22,882 --> 00:11:24,927
What are we supposed to do now?
226
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:27,964
Back in Minnesota, we'd
settle this kind of a dispute
227
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:30,166
with some
good-natured logrolling.
228
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:34,503
Sorry, Rose. My
log is in the shop.
229
00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,939
What do we do now? Toss a coin?
230
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:38,373
OK. All right.
231
00:11:38,397 --> 00:11:41,398
I'll take tails. OK.
232
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,514
Tails, you win.
233
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,417
I'll make it up to you,
Dorothy, I promise.
234
00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:49,819
Listen, if there's ever a
night where you can't sleep,
235
00:11:49,843 --> 00:11:53,289
I'll come to your room
and sing "Kumbaya."
236
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:56,993
Rose, I don't know what to say.
237
00:11:57,017 --> 00:11:59,662
Yes, I do.
238
00:11:59,686 --> 00:12:02,053
Don't ever do that.
239
00:12:04,023 --> 00:12:07,270
Well, Rose, what do you say we
help Dorothy move her things, OK?
240
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:08,638
OK.
241
00:12:08,662 --> 00:12:12,608
Gee, this is fun already,
being roomies with you two.
242
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:15,611
Oh! Oh, Blanche!
243
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,748
Blanche, I am so sorry.
244
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:20,382
Oh, I'll buy you another one.
245
00:12:20,406 --> 00:12:24,253
Well, you can't. That
was one of a kind.
246
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:27,156
Oh, well, don't feel bad. I
never really liked it much anyway.
247
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,392
It's just that my
grandmother gave this to me...
248
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,783
on her deathbed.
249
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:39,101
She was very, very sick
for a very, very long time.
250
00:12:39,125 --> 00:12:41,771
I loved her very, very much.
251
00:12:41,795 --> 00:12:44,140
Blanche, why
don't you just grind
252
00:12:44,164 --> 00:12:47,810
the broken pieces in her hand?
253
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,813
Blanche, I know
I can't replace it,
254
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:53,315
but I wanna make it up to you.
255
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:56,119
Listen, since this is our
first night as roommates,
256
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:58,020
I'd like to invite the
two of you to dinner
257
00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:59,689
at my favorite restaurant.
258
00:12:59,713 --> 00:13:02,524
Well, that's very sweet of you,
Rose. Well, thank you, Rose.
259
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:05,327
Then we'd better hurry, 'cause
the Strawberry Blizzard Special
260
00:13:05,351 --> 00:13:08,698
at the Dairy Queen
only lasts till five.
261
00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:09,999
Come on, I'll drive.
262
00:13:10,023 --> 00:13:12,523
Oh, let's not drive.
Let's skip there.
263
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,547
Oh, my goodness,
It's 2:00 in the morning.
264
00:13:25,571 --> 00:13:28,550
And I am still wide
awake. Me, too.
265
00:13:28,574 --> 00:13:30,786
You know, before
I met you two girls,
266
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,955
I was never up this late.
267
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:36,625
Except, of course, during
the Jerry Lewis Telethon.
268
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,760
Of course.
269
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:39,628
I was never a
night person, either.
270
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,297
Until I blossomed
into young womanhood
271
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:45,701
and realized I was even
more devastating by moonlight.
272
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,336
Of course.
273
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,473
I will never forget the
night I made that discovery.
274
00:13:50,497 --> 00:13:52,107
It was during the
spring cotillion.
275
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:56,679
I was wearing a long white
dress and my first push-up bra.
276
00:13:56,703 --> 00:14:00,115
And Bobby Buck McAllister and
I were enjoying a glass of punch
277
00:14:00,139 --> 00:14:05,309
out on the veranda, when a
beam of moonlight hit my cleavage.
278
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:11,894
Suddenly, the
band began to play.
279
00:14:11,918 --> 00:14:14,029
It was at that moment I realized
280
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:17,855
my bosoms had the
power to make music.
281
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:32,047
Didn't Bette Midler win a
special Grammy for that?
282
00:14:32,071 --> 00:14:34,717
Oh, girls. Isn't it
wonderful how we always
283
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:36,585
have such a good time together?
284
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,654
It's been that way
right from the start.
285
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,122
Please, Rose.
286
00:14:40,146 --> 00:14:42,791
Don't you remember
the day after we moved in
287
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,282
when we went shopping together?
288
00:14:51,024 --> 00:14:53,435
Walking by that
sausage case back there
289
00:14:53,459 --> 00:14:56,071
really brought back
a lot of memories.
290
00:14:56,095 --> 00:15:00,242
Sausage opens a floodgate
for many of us, Rose.
291
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:03,211
What's this, Blanche?
Smoked oysters.
292
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:04,980
Oh, come on. Now,
I know we said we'd
293
00:15:05,004 --> 00:15:08,517
go in on everything
equally, but this is $4 a can.
294
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:12,254
Well, we have to have these.
They're absolutely essential.
295
00:15:12,278 --> 00:15:14,056
Well, if you ever
have a date with a man
296
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,460
who's a little sluggish...
297
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:21,329
a tin of these and a
bottle of cold duck,
298
00:15:21,353 --> 00:15:24,055
you'll be prying
him off the wall.
299
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:40,905
Those are very nice
cantaloupes. Why, thank you.
300
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:50,726
This one's ripe. And
how do you tell, Dorothy?
301
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,394
Well, you smell the tip of it.
302
00:15:52,418 --> 00:15:54,496
It's an old Sicilian method
my mother taught me.
303
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:55,965
Oh, Dorothy, dear.
304
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:58,333
The best way to tell if a
melon is ripe is Southern.
305
00:15:58,357 --> 00:15:59,468
You thump it.
306
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:02,938
Well, actually, roomies,
I have the best method -
307
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,707
the farm method.
It works every time.
308
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,665
And what might
that be, Rose, dear?
309
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,572
No. Mm-mm.
310
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,247
Better.
311
00:16:27,386 --> 00:16:29,564
Yeah, I almost forgot.
312
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:33,102
We need a Globe and a
Tatler and a Midnight Star
313
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:36,872
and an Enquirer and I guess
maybe one serious newsmagazine
314
00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:40,531
so we know what's going
on in the world - one People.
315
00:16:43,569 --> 00:16:46,815
Excuse me, you made a mistake.
316
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,785
Those peaches aren't 59
cents a pound, they're 89 cents.
317
00:16:49,809 --> 00:16:52,054
Honesty is the best policy.
318
00:16:52,078 --> 00:16:53,222
What are you trying to do, Rose?
319
00:16:53,246 --> 00:16:55,690
Qualify for some
kind of Scout badge?
320
00:16:55,714 --> 00:16:58,427
Well, I can't help it if
I'm an honest person.
321
00:16:58,451 --> 00:17:02,364
Obviously, something you
don't know anything about.
322
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:03,598
What are you talking about?
323
00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:07,903
Well, you bought
pantyhose in petite.
324
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:12,375
Anybody can see you couldn't
get those past your knees.
325
00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:13,842
If you don't keep
your voice down,
326
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:17,380
I'm gonna hit you in the
head with this loin of pork.
327
00:17:17,404 --> 00:17:21,650
Oh, Blanche, come on! $15.99?
328
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,685
Now, this is just
too extravagant.
329
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,155
I'm not going in on this. I
don't even like loin of pork.
330
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:29,625
All right, then I'm not
going in on this nightstick.
331
00:17:29,649 --> 00:17:32,683
This is a pepperoni.
It's obnoxious.
332
00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:37,733
Excuse me. You made a mistake.
333
00:17:37,757 --> 00:17:39,735
That Windex isn't
on sale this week
334
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,171
the regular price is $1.99.
335
00:17:42,195 --> 00:17:45,663
Rose, why don't you just
save it for The Price is Right?
336
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,311
Excuse me for trying
to be a good American.
337
00:17:49,335 --> 00:17:52,148
Will you two please
keep your voices down?
338
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,083
I have shopped and
dated extensively
339
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,718
throughout this market.
340
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,388
That does it, that does it!
I am shopping for myself.
341
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:02,324
Fine! Blanche and I will
do very nicely on our own.
342
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:04,660
Oh, no, I'm not shopping
with you, Mary Poppins.
343
00:18:04,684 --> 00:18:06,317
Fine!
344
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:40,196
All right, who put the Raisin
Bran in the refrigerator?
345
00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,697
I did.
346
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,133
Do you have a problem
with that? Yes, I do.
347
00:18:44,157 --> 00:18:45,434
I have two problems with it.
348
00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:47,002
First of all, there isn't
room for it in there
349
00:18:47,026 --> 00:18:48,403
and second of all, it
doesn't go in the refrigerator
350
00:18:48,427 --> 00:18:49,771
it goes in the cabinet.
351
00:18:49,795 --> 00:18:52,407
It does not go in the cabinet.
352
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,509
It stays fresher
in the refrigerator.
353
00:18:54,533 --> 00:18:56,312
No, it does not stay
fresher in the refrigerator.
354
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,013
If it stayed fresher
in the refrigerator,
355
00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:00,883
there would be a sign
on it saying "refrigerate."
356
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:02,751
Actually, you're both wrong.
357
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:04,386
It does not belong
in a refrigerator.
358
00:19:04,410 --> 00:19:06,155
It does not belong in a cabinet.
359
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,590
It belongs in a glass canister.
360
00:19:08,614 --> 00:19:11,060
That way, it's not
only visually appealing,
361
00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:14,563
but you can see if they
cheated you out of raisins.
362
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:17,066
I thought everybody knew that.
363
00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:19,434
You know, until I met
you, Rose, I didn't know
364
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:24,139
that people actually talk
back to their Rice Krispies.
365
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,308
Ugh. All right, I have had it!
366
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:28,310
Thanks to all this
constant bickering,
367
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:29,979
I now have a splitting headache.
368
00:19:30,003 --> 00:19:32,681
Oh, girls, let's face facts.
369
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,816
The three of us just
can't agree on anything.
370
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,853
I mean, it is obvious we
were not meant to live together.
371
00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:40,522
I hate to agree with you,
but I think you're right.
372
00:19:40,546 --> 00:19:44,626
I think so, too.
In fact, I know so.
373
00:19:44,650 --> 00:19:52,650
This is exactly what happened
during the Great Herring War.
374
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:55,004
The Great Herring War?
375
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:57,339
Yes. Between the Lindstroms
and the Johanssons.
376
00:19:57,363 --> 00:19:59,797
Oh, that Great Herring War!
377
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:04,313
The two families controlled
the most fertile herring waters
378
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:06,815
off the coast of Norway,
so naturally, it seemed like
379
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:10,185
it would be in their best
interest to band together.
380
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:12,788
Oh, boy, was that a mistake.
381
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,991
You see, they couldn't agree
on what to do with the herring.
382
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:17,759
Oh, well, that's understandable.
383
00:20:17,783 --> 00:20:20,629
I mean, the possibilities
are overwhelming.
384
00:20:20,653 --> 00:20:25,167
Exactly. The Johanssons
wanted to pickle the herring
385
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:28,725
and the Lindstroms wanted
to train them for the circus.
386
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,009
Weren't they kind
of hard to see,
387
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:37,246
riding on the elephants?
388
00:20:37,270 --> 00:20:40,249
Oh, not that kind of
circus. A herring circus.
389
00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:44,653
Sort of like SeaWorld,
only smaller.
390
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:47,856
Much, much smaller.
391
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,259
But bigger than a flea circus.
392
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:54,997
Tell me, Rose, um...
393
00:20:55,021 --> 00:20:59,790
did they ever shoot a
herring out of a cannon?
394
00:21:10,003 --> 00:21:12,636
Only once.
395
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:20,489
But they shot him into a tree.
396
00:21:20,513 --> 00:21:23,747
After that, no other
herring would do it.
397
00:21:25,351 --> 00:21:27,863
You're making this up!
398
00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:32,468
I am not! My grandfather
told me that story.
399
00:21:32,492 --> 00:21:37,639
Of course, he also used to
call me by my sister's name.
400
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:39,741
And sometimes, he'd
wear his underwear
401
00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:42,333
on the outside of his pants.
402
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:46,904
I guess he wasn't a
very reliable source.
403
00:21:49,042 --> 00:21:52,754
Ohh... Ahh!
404
00:21:52,778 --> 00:21:54,556
Oh, girls...
405
00:21:54,580 --> 00:21:57,626
Girls, do you realize
what just happened?
406
00:21:57,650 --> 00:21:59,461
Well, I know I've been
having a very good time,
407
00:21:59,485 --> 00:22:04,233
and there wasn't even
a man in the room.
408
00:22:04,257 --> 00:22:05,867
Do you think it
was just a fluke,
409
00:22:05,891 --> 00:22:07,769
or do you think we could
learn to like each other?
410
00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:11,106
Well, I think it
might take time,
411
00:22:11,130 --> 00:22:13,108
but I think it
could be worth it.
412
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:15,177
Let's give it a shot. Great!
413
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:18,102
I'm game. OK.
414
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:26,121
Wait a minute. What's that?
415
00:22:26,145 --> 00:22:27,989
Oh, I'm sorry. I
know it's awful,
416
00:22:28,013 --> 00:22:29,791
but I have this
incredible sweet tooth.
417
00:22:29,815 --> 00:22:30,992
What is it? Cheesecake.
418
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,127
What kind? Chocolate.
419
00:22:32,151 --> 00:22:34,096
Oh, I think this could
be the beginning
420
00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:36,520
of a beautiful friendship.
421
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:43,338
I guess some
things never change.
422
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:46,842
They sure don't. We've almost
finished the entire cheesecake.
423
00:22:46,866 --> 00:22:48,610
Oh, what the hell. It
was a special occasion.
424
00:22:48,634 --> 00:22:52,413
Yeah, and it sure took
my mind off of Psycho.
425
00:22:52,437 --> 00:22:54,850
Listen, these can wait till
morning. Let's go to bed.
426
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:58,620
OK.
427
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:14,068
Ma, that is not funny!
428
00:23:14,092 --> 00:23:17,105
Are you kidding? It's a riot!
429
00:23:17,129 --> 00:23:18,874
I pulled it once on
old man Peterson,
430
00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:21,476
after we saw Psycho at the home.
431
00:23:21,500 --> 00:23:25,113
They had said he
would never walk again.
432
00:23:25,137 --> 00:23:27,070
He walked.
433
00:23:29,174 --> 00:23:32,509
Well, good night. Sweet dreams!
434
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:38,026
Well... I think I'll have
just one more cup of tea.
435
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:39,528
Yeah, and we can
finish the cheesecake.
436
00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:40,795
Sounds good.
437
00:23:40,819 --> 00:23:42,697
You know what would go
so good on this cheesecake
438
00:23:42,721 --> 00:23:45,600
is those chocolate sprinkles.
We finished those an hour ago.
439
00:23:45,624 --> 00:23:47,736
We could crush
some Oreos on top.
440
00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,738
We ran out of
those two hours ago.
441
00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:52,407
How about some whip cream? Mm!
442
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:55,432
I think we still have a can.
I'll get it - it's in my bedroom.
34579
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.