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♪ Thank you for being a friend
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00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:08,473
♪ Traveled down the
road and back again
3
00:00:10,010 --> 00:00:11,454
♪ Your heart is true
4
00:00:11,478 --> 00:00:15,347
♪ You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:20,463
♪ And if you threw a party
6
00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:24,868
♪ Invited everyone you knew
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00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:29,239
♪ You would see the
biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,875
♪ And the card
attached would say
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00:00:31,899 --> 00:00:37,803
♪ "Thank you for
being a friend" ♪
10
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:59,402
carry the two.
11
00:00:59,426 --> 00:01:02,706
Frankly, I wouldn't even
bother getting another estimate.
12
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:05,875
For that bathroom repair, that's
the lowest you're gonna see.
13
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,045
Are you kid...? This is
the highest I've seen. Look.
14
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:10,880
$3,000!
15
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,749
Hey, ladies, hire
whoever you like,
16
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:13,883
but I'm an expert.
17
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:16,753
I can take a toilet
apart blindfolded.
18
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,723
Now, there's a dying
art. What's your point?
19
00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:22,225
The point is, a lot of
things can go wrong.
20
00:01:22,249 --> 00:01:24,828
Wood rot, loose
plaster, cracked pipes.
21
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:26,629
Crooked plumbers.
22
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,364
Lady, what are
you trying to say?
23
00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,100
Get out.
24
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,835
All right, all right.
25
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:34,904
I guess you ladies are going into
your feminist phase a little late in life.
26
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,240
But I'll go. You'll
call me back.
27
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,665
You know why? Because as
we say in the plumbing game...
28
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:44,948
The nerve of that man
trying to intimidate us!
29
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,950
I mean, he must
really think we're stupid.
30
00:01:46,974 --> 00:01:48,418
Really stupid.
31
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:51,888
How could we possibly need
three dozen spud gaskets?
32
00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,257
Wait. Spud gaskets?
33
00:01:54,281 --> 00:01:56,292
That's what goes on
the end of a hose bib.
34
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:59,095
We couldn't need more
than a dozen at most.
35
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:03,132
Rose, how do you
know about this?
36
00:02:03,156 --> 00:02:04,901
Oh, I know a lot about plumbing.
37
00:02:04,925 --> 00:02:07,504
We always did our own
plumbing on the farm.
38
00:02:07,528 --> 00:02:11,341
'Course, we didn't actually
get plumbing till I was 18.
39
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,042
Rose, tell me something.
40
00:02:13,066 --> 00:02:15,044
How difficult would it be
41
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:18,047
for us to repair that
bathroom ourselves?
42
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:20,049
Well, it wouldn't
be difficult at all.
43
00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,819
Oh, forget it, forget
it. It's a crazy idea.
44
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:25,221
You got that right.
45
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:28,090
You're not a mechanical
person, Dorothy. You never were.
46
00:02:28,114 --> 00:02:31,816
For the first three months of your life,
you tried to breast-feed off my cameo.
47
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:40,403
Rose, come on. Do you
really think we could do it?
48
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:43,840
It might take a little time, but
we'd sure save a lot of money.
49
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:46,543
Then let's give it a shot.
50
00:02:46,567 --> 00:02:49,345
Great, my unmarried daughter
51
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:52,949
wants to spend her weekend
with a toilet. Now I can die in peace.
52
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:56,352
Dorothy, could I please borrow
your long rhinestone chain?
53
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,087
Of course, Blanche.
54
00:02:58,111 --> 00:03:00,189
Why not? What's
Dorothy gonna do with it,
55
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:01,691
snake out a toilet?
56
00:03:01,715 --> 00:03:04,895
It's just so hard to dress
for these dates with Richard.
57
00:03:04,919 --> 00:03:06,963
I never know where we'll end up.
58
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,165
Oh, come on now, Blanche.
59
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,501
Even the paperboy
knows where you'll end up.
60
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,770
You know what I mean.
61
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:16,305
With Richard, I have to
be prepared for anything.
62
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:20,076
Last week, he asked me out to lunch.
We ended up going horseback riding.
63
00:03:20,100 --> 00:03:23,046
Personally, I've always been
afraid of dating a wealthy man.
64
00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:26,482
Why, Rose? Fear of gold bullion?
65
00:03:26,506 --> 00:03:29,452
No. It's just that
sometimes rich people
66
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:32,355
think more about money
than they do about people.
67
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:35,458
Richard's nothing like that,
and I don't think he ever could be.
68
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:39,963
He is simply the sweetest, kindest,
most handsome man I've ever met.
69
00:03:39,987 --> 00:03:42,999
Only I do have a small
problem with his money.
70
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:46,202
Oh, why? You don't think you'll
live long enough to spend it all?
71
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:49,105
No. I don't want him to think
72
00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,608
that's the only reason
I'm attracted to him.
73
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,710
That's why, whenever
we're out together,
74
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:56,412
I always pretend to be totally
unimpressed by his wealth.
75
00:03:56,436 --> 00:03:58,782
Isn't that kind of difficult?
76
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:01,751
Oh, no, not at all. I don't
give a hoot how much he has.
77
00:04:01,775 --> 00:04:04,420
Fact is, I think
I'm falling in love.
78
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:06,189
Oh, come on now, Blanche.
79
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,592
Are you telling me that you'd
feel the same way about him
80
00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,694
if he didn't have a
dime to his name?
81
00:04:10,718 --> 00:04:15,765
Absolutely. I'd just have to
see other men behind his back.
82
00:04:15,789 --> 00:04:18,189
Oh, come on.
83
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:46,696
Oh, my good... no! Oh,
come back here. Oh.
84
00:04:50,324 --> 00:04:51,723
Oh.
85
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:57,507
I see you're right at
home in a private jet.
86
00:04:57,531 --> 00:05:02,645
Oh, well, I always try to take
a private jet whenever I jet.
87
00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:05,281
And here I thought I
was impressing you.
88
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:08,751
Oh, well, it's a perfectly
lovely jet, Richard,
89
00:05:08,775 --> 00:05:10,753
but there was really no need
90
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:13,589
to fly all the way
to Atlanta for dinner.
91
00:05:13,613 --> 00:05:15,362
I'm just an old-fashioned
girl. I would have
92
00:05:15,386 --> 00:05:17,159
been very happy with
a quiet dinner at home.
93
00:05:17,183 --> 00:05:18,494
You would?
94
00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,262
Absolutely!
95
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:23,098
I'll just tell the pilot to
turn the plane around.
96
00:05:23,122 --> 00:05:26,135
No, wait! Oh, that
won't be necessary.
97
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,038
My goodness,
we're 10,000 feet up.
98
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:32,875
Besides, I know how you
have your heart set on it.
99
00:05:32,899 --> 00:05:35,244
Blanche, you're adorable.
100
00:05:35,268 --> 00:05:36,868
I know.
101
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:40,015
You know, I've
dated a lot of women,
102
00:05:40,039 --> 00:05:44,019
and every single one of them
has been impressed by the caviar
103
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:47,990
and the expensive
restaurants and the jet.
104
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,292
Hell, even I'm
impressed by the jet.
105
00:05:50,316 --> 00:05:55,631
No, I haven't been wealthy
all my life, you know?
106
00:05:55,655 --> 00:05:56,799
Oh, really?
107
00:05:56,823 --> 00:05:57,867
No.
108
00:05:57,891 --> 00:06:01,203
I started out in the
shipping department
109
00:06:01,227 --> 00:06:03,673
of a large
manufacturing company.
110
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:07,610
And after lots of hard
work and long hours,
111
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:09,612
ten years later, I
owned the company.
112
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,814
Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
113
00:06:11,838 --> 00:06:13,750
Now I own a lot of companies
114
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,752
with branches
all over the world.
115
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,421
And the amazing thing is,
116
00:06:18,445 --> 00:06:21,257
the work is just as exciting to
me now as it was the day I started.
117
00:06:21,281 --> 00:06:23,826
How about some champagne?
118
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:28,698
This isn't meant to impress
you. This is just to get you tipsy.
119
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:31,456
Oh, Richard, you rascal.
120
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:38,374
You know, I've made a lot of
money and I've seen a lot of the world,
121
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:41,076
but there's still one thing
in my life that's missing.
122
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,378
What?
123
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,179
Someone to share it with.
124
00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:46,382
I was hoping you'd say that.
125
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:48,384
Did that champagne kick in yet?
126
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,987
No, but if you're ready
to make your move,
127
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:54,579
I can pretend it did.
128
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:12,509
Aah! Oh, Dorothy, you scared
me. What are you doing up so late?
129
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:16,146
Honey, do you know what's behind
that wall that you're banging on?
130
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:19,516
A lateral fusion pipe.
131
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:23,386
And do you know what's on the
other side of that lateral fusion pipe?
132
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:24,820
No.
133
00:07:24,844 --> 00:07:25,888
My head!
134
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:27,945
Oh, I...
135
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:31,727
I'm sorry.
136
00:07:31,751 --> 00:07:33,630
It's just that I was so excited.
137
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,665
I think I might have
stumbled on something
138
00:07:35,689 --> 00:07:38,868
that could change the face
of plumbing as we know it.
139
00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:41,937
Oh, great, Rose. Call
the Ti-D-Bowl Man.
140
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:44,974
He'll jump in his boat
and spread the news.
141
00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:48,410
Oh, girls, I'm so
glad you're still up.
142
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:50,412
Wait till I tell you
about my date.
143
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:52,715
Wait till I tell you about
my discovery. Let's hear it.
144
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:56,886
It came to me when I was
enjoying my second cup of Ovaltine.
145
00:07:56,910 --> 00:08:00,322
Richard flew me to Atlanta
for dinner in his private jet.
146
00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:01,724
You're kidding.
147
00:08:01,748 --> 00:08:04,727
That's when it hit me. We
don't need our sludge tube.
148
00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:06,662
Rose.
149
00:08:06,686 --> 00:08:11,300
And then, for dessert, he took
me to this most romantic little bistro.
150
00:08:11,324 --> 00:08:14,470
And while the waiter
was glazing my peaches,
151
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:17,273
Richard leaned over and took
my hand. You know what he said?
152
00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,274
What?
153
00:08:18,298 --> 00:08:20,765
Our biggest worry
will be tank sweat.
154
00:08:24,938 --> 00:08:26,316
Sorry.
155
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:30,286
He said that tomorrow, he
wants to introduce me to his family.
156
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:34,490
If that is not the last step before a
marriage proposal, I don't know what is.
157
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:37,527
Oh, that is wonderful.
158
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:41,197
I'm so excited. Just
imagine being Richard's wife.
159
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,800
I would be married to a
gorgeous, intelligent man.
160
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:45,802
I'd be living like a queen.
161
00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:48,104
Think about it in your
room, Your Highness.
162
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:50,061
I need to use the throne.
163
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,221
You're a wonderful
plumber's assistant, Dorothy.
164
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:09,058
Boy, you sure know
your way around a snake.
165
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:10,993
I've had a lot of experience.
166
00:09:11,017 --> 00:09:15,131
After all, I was married
to one for 38 years.
167
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:18,234
Oh, we're right on schedule.
168
00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:20,769
We ought to have that
toilet tank in by sundown.
169
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:24,574
By sundown, by sundown.
Oh, this is such fun.
170
00:09:24,598 --> 00:09:25,641
I know.
171
00:09:25,665 --> 00:09:27,009
This is so exciting.
172
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:30,679
This is so depressing.
173
00:09:30,703 --> 00:09:33,583
Oh, it's Saturday night, and
I'm all nervous and jumpy
174
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:39,188
because, in a few hours, there will
be a handsome new toilet at my door.
175
00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:41,123
What's going on here?
176
00:09:41,147 --> 00:09:43,492
I walk into the bathroom,
and instead of a toilet,
177
00:09:43,516 --> 00:09:45,327
there's a hole in the ground.
178
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:48,764
For a minute, I thought
I was back in Sicily.
179
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,933
Sophia, I'm sure
Blanche wouldn't mind
180
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:52,936
if you used her bathroom.
181
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,003
I hate that bathroom.
182
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,005
There's plants everywhere
183
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,041
and flowers on the
toilet-seat cover.
184
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,043
I feel like I'm
going in the woods.
185
00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,312
Gee, I hope that's
our new toilet.
186
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:06,137
Now, that's a sentence
you don't hear every day.
187
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,653
Plumber.
188
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,922
Could I see some identification?
189
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:16,459
Ha-ha-ha. Come on in.
190
00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:19,295
So you two are the proud parents
191
00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,330
of the new Dolan
Standard Lowboy?
192
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:25,000
Yes. We're sending out
engraved announcements.
193
00:10:25,024 --> 00:10:27,370
Well, you probably want to get
her operational as soon as possible.
194
00:10:27,394 --> 00:10:29,472
After all, she's
quite a showpiece.
195
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:31,140
Where do I install her?
196
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:35,478
Well, actually, Lou, we're going
to install her ourselves. Follow me.
197
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,480
Hold it. You're not serious.
198
00:10:37,504 --> 00:10:39,148
Why not?
199
00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:41,150
Ladies, the
installation of a toilet's
200
00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:43,186
a very delicate procedure.
201
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,188
You got to go to school,
202
00:10:45,212 --> 00:10:47,356
you got to be a
trained technician.
203
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:49,459
You got to be a
man, for God's sakes!
204
00:10:49,483 --> 00:10:52,628
You know, to tell
you the truth, Lou,
205
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:56,365
women are capable of more
than just cleaning these things.
206
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,668
Is that so? Well, as long as
you ladies are playing plumber,
207
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,704
why don't you play
moving man, too?
208
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,394
Fine, fine, we will!
209
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:06,609
Was that a plumber?
210
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:10,135
No, Ma, no. It was a little
girl selling Girl Scout toilets.
211
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,683
You let a plumber get away?
212
00:11:13,707 --> 00:11:14,984
We don't need him!
213
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,242
Like hell! I'm going after him.
214
00:11:20,146 --> 00:11:23,425
Come on, Dorothy, let's
move this little beauty.
215
00:11:23,449 --> 00:11:24,861
OK.
216
00:11:24,885 --> 00:11:26,996
Ooh. Wait, wait.
217
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:29,932
No, honey, she won't budge.
218
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:33,235
Oh, Rose, I don't think we're
gonna be able to move it.
219
00:11:33,259 --> 00:11:36,906
Dorothy, if the Egyptians built the
pyramids, now, we can move this toilet.
220
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:41,232
Fine, get me 20,000 Hebrews,
and I'll have it out of here in no time.
221
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:45,882
Oh, come on.
222
00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:50,319
Give me a minute,
I'll think of something.
223
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,911
I'd love you to
meet my roommates.
224
00:11:58,618 --> 00:12:02,932
Unfortunately, they're
not home right now.
225
00:12:02,956 --> 00:12:06,468
I'll talk to you
later, darlin'. Bye.
226
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:07,859
Bye.
227
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,507
Oh, Blanche, I'm sorry.
228
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:13,175
Oh, forget it.
229
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:15,845
Girls, I have something
very important to tell you.
230
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,146
What is it?
231
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:18,614
Look.
232
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,449
He proposed!
233
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:24,253
Oh, Blanche, that is the
biggest diamond I've ever seen!
234
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:25,287
I know.
235
00:12:25,311 --> 00:12:27,389
Oh, I think this is wonderful.
236
00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,958
It was wonderful.
237
00:12:28,982 --> 00:12:31,126
It was beautiful,
it was romantic.
238
00:12:31,150 --> 00:12:33,395
It was just everything
I dreamed it could be.
239
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,599
Oh, Blanche, we're
so happy for you!
240
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:39,691
Well, don't be. 'Cause
I can't marry him.
241
00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,515
Why can't you marry him?
242
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:56,151
You remember I told you Richard
wanted to introduce me to his family?
243
00:12:56,175 --> 00:12:59,355
I thought it would be his little old
gray-haired mama and his spinster aunt.
244
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,757
Turns out, he has two kids.
245
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,559
Well, Blanche,
we've all got kids.
246
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:07,263
But these are seven and
nine. They're practically babies.
247
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:10,899
Babies need a mama. Goodness,
I've already raised my family.
248
00:13:10,923 --> 00:13:13,536
I don't have the energy
to go through that again.
249
00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:16,405
Blanche, how could
you accept his proposal?
250
00:13:16,429 --> 00:13:18,807
Because it was the moment
I'd been dreaming about
251
00:13:18,831 --> 00:13:21,009
and everything
was just so perfect,
252
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:23,145
and before I
knew it, I said yes.
253
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:25,248
Only now, I have to tell him no.
254
00:13:25,272 --> 00:13:27,250
But how can I say
no to the man I love?
255
00:13:27,274 --> 00:13:31,086
I can't even say
no to the men I like.
256
00:13:31,110 --> 00:13:33,723
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
257
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:37,493
Blanche, honey, calm down.
258
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,962
Let's talk it out.
You'll feel better.
259
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,864
Oh, there's nothing
to talk about!
260
00:13:41,888 --> 00:13:44,032
I already know what
both of you are gonna say.
261
00:13:44,056 --> 00:13:47,270
Dorothy will say he's too good to
give up over this and she'd marry him.
262
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:50,873
You'll say he's been nothing but
trouble, and you wouldn't marry him.
263
00:13:50,897 --> 00:13:52,742
I'd marry him.
264
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:54,744
Well, I wouldn't.
265
00:13:54,768 --> 00:13:56,145
What?
266
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,481
Well, no. I don't want to
be a mother again, either.
267
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,949
Oh, I'd love to be
a mother again.
268
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,051
Scrubbing socks,
picking up toys?
269
00:14:03,075 --> 00:14:05,421
Tucking in beds,
packing healthy lunches.
270
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,456
Phone calls, pajama parties?
271
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,325
Dance recitals, baseball games.
272
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,859
Cooking? Singing.
273
00:14:10,883 --> 00:14:12,928
Worrying? Praying.
274
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:16,064
Girls! I thought we came in
here to discuss my problem.
275
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:17,900
Sorry, Blanche.
276
00:14:17,924 --> 00:14:20,035
I just hate myself
for feeling this way,
277
00:14:20,059 --> 00:14:22,271
but I don't want to
be a mother again.
278
00:14:22,295 --> 00:14:25,174
I mean, it was a wonderful
experience at the time,
279
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,644
but I always thought this part of
my life was supposed to be for me.
280
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:32,014
Honey, I understand exactly
how you feel. I feel the same way.
281
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:36,419
You know, at our age, we should
be grandmothers, not mothers.
282
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,789
Once a week, the grandchildren
come over for a visit.
283
00:14:39,813 --> 00:14:42,925
You cook them dinner,
they spill it on the furniture.
284
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:45,227
They hide under your bed.
285
00:14:45,251 --> 00:14:48,096
You hurt yourself
looking for them.
286
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:51,801
They ask you what those
spots on your hands are.
287
00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:54,770
They tell you they love you,
288
00:14:54,794 --> 00:14:57,707
and then, just before
total exhaustion sets in,
289
00:14:57,731 --> 00:15:01,276
they go home and become
their mother's problems.
290
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:04,947
What about the good
things, like Mother's Day?
291
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:08,116
Oh, the Mother's Days we
used to have on the farm.
292
00:15:08,140 --> 00:15:10,185
First of all, the kids
would wake me up
293
00:15:10,209 --> 00:15:13,956
by brushing our cat,
Mr. McTavish, against my ear.
294
00:15:13,980 --> 00:15:17,092
Then they'd give
me breakfast in bed...
295
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:19,462
Belgian waffles and buttermilk.
296
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,864
And then they'd paint
faces on their socks
297
00:15:21,888 --> 00:15:25,735
and do a little puppet
show called Elf Kingdom.
298
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:29,004
Oh. And then everybody
would tickle each other
299
00:15:29,028 --> 00:15:32,830
until the whole family
was throwing up together.
300
00:15:35,702 --> 00:15:38,848
Oh, dear, I'm just so confused.
301
00:15:38,872 --> 00:15:41,384
Aw, honey, listen,
you need more time.
302
00:15:41,408 --> 00:15:44,587
I mean, right now, you're too
upset to make the right decision.
303
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,823
Maybe you could spend a few
days with Richard and his children.
304
00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:50,359
See how it goes.
305
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:54,530
Oh, I don't know. What if they
hate me? What if I hate them?
306
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:57,366
Honey, what if you all
end up liking each other?
307
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:02,037
Yeah, I guess I could
at least give it a chance.
308
00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:04,373
OK, then, that's
what I'm going to do.
309
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,843
Dorothy, I got to talk to
you. I owe you a big apology.
310
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,612
For what, Ma?
311
00:16:09,636 --> 00:16:13,148
For what I said before. You know, about
you not knowing a thing about plumbing.
312
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,250
Dorothy, you're a genius!
313
00:16:15,274 --> 00:16:17,085
Ma, wait a minute. What
are you talking about?
314
00:16:17,109 --> 00:16:19,121
I walk into the living room,
315
00:16:19,145 --> 00:16:21,791
and there's a toilet in
front of the television set.
316
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:25,316
It's an old lady's
dream come true!
317
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:40,676
"Grasp the valve
tightly with your hand.
318
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,377
OK.
319
00:16:42,401 --> 00:16:44,479
"Turn it clockwise
320
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,971
until scum gathers
on your elbow joint."
321
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:53,689
Oh, I'm sorry. I
skipped page 62.
322
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:56,291
Listen, Rose... Rose,
this is not working!
323
00:16:56,315 --> 00:16:58,961
We've been here a whole
week, and nothing has gone right!
324
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,796
I'm ready to throw in the wrench
325
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:03,498
and start using the Texaco
station down the street!
326
00:17:03,522 --> 00:17:07,169
Dorothy, don't panic.
You just need a break.
327
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:09,794
Why don't we wash our hands
and have a nice cup of tea?
328
00:17:14,901 --> 00:17:17,279
Rose, turn it off!
329
00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:19,514
I can't make it stop!
330
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:22,785
Very nice job, ladies.
331
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,820
Who let you in here?
332
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:27,344
I did. Lucky I had his card.
333
00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:33,161
Looks like we've taken
a few wrong turns here.
334
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:38,233
For your information, this is
exactly the way we wanted it to look.
335
00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:42,437
Oh, yeah? You got
Siamese twins living here?
336
00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:45,574
Look, Lou, we really
don't need your help.
337
00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,875
Ladies, with all due respect,
338
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,644
I think it's time you
threw in the dishtowel.
339
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:51,680
I mean, trying to fix
it yourself was cute,
340
00:17:51,704 --> 00:17:53,949
but I think you proved your point,
and it's time to let a man take over.
341
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,751
I'm with Lou!
342
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,553
Oh? Get your
coat! Lou is leaving.
343
00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,956
Hey, not so hard! I
work with my hands!
344
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:03,625
You're making a big mistake!
345
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:07,263
The man may be a moron,
but he knows how to fix a toilet!
346
00:18:07,287 --> 00:18:09,498
It's fine with me. The
longer I let you do it yourself,
347
00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,734
the more I'm gonna get
paid when you finally call.
348
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:16,037
Yeah, well, I have news for
you, Lou. We are not calling. Ever!
349
00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:18,874
You ladies haven't seen the last
of me. And you wanna know why?
350
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,231
Because as we say in the
plumbing game, it's nev...
351
00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:26,715
Hi, girls.
352
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:28,116
When did you get back?
353
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,219
Oh, a few minutes ago.
What a day! I'm exhausted.
354
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:34,022
Oh, where did you go? Bermuda!
355
00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:37,025
Only Richard had a last-minute appointment,
so it was just me and the kids.
356
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:38,828
Oh, we had a
terrific time, though...
357
00:18:38,852 --> 00:18:42,231
swimming and playing and
talking. They're lovely children.
358
00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:44,233
Does this mean you're
gonna marry Richard?
359
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:46,067
I don't know.
360
00:18:46,091 --> 00:18:50,071
Honey, I don't understand. If you and the
kids hit it off, then what's the problem?
361
00:18:50,095 --> 00:18:52,140
Well, I hardly ever see Richard.
362
00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,142
Today was the
third time this week
363
00:18:54,166 --> 00:18:55,377
he's had a last-minute meeting,
364
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:57,145
and I had to spend
the day with the kids.
365
00:18:57,169 --> 00:18:58,680
He's a busy man.
366
00:18:58,704 --> 00:19:01,850
Too busy. Even Little Richard
came up to me and said,
367
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:05,020
"Now don't worry. This
happens all the time."
368
00:19:05,044 --> 00:19:08,345
Little Richard was in Bermuda?
369
00:19:15,221 --> 00:19:21,070
Yes, Rose. He was burying Fats
Domino in the sand. Go ahead, Blanche.
370
00:19:21,094 --> 00:19:24,973
Richard's always talking about
how much his children mean to him.
371
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,776
And I know they
do, but, you know,
372
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,779
he hardly has time
for 'em. Or for me.
373
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:35,017
I'm starting to wonder if maybe the
main reason he wants me for his wife
374
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:38,320
is because he needs a
mother for his children.
375
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:41,723
Well, honey, if you think
that's true, you'd better find out.
376
00:19:41,747 --> 00:19:46,061
I intend to. I'm gonna ask him
straight out at dinner tonight.
377
00:19:46,085 --> 00:19:49,653
I just hope he has the
answer I want to hear.
378
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:03,312
No. No, no.
379
00:20:03,336 --> 00:20:07,249
Don't worry. I'll be there
tomorrow. We'll handle the situation.
380
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:10,653
Tell Gresham we can
get together next week.
381
00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:13,689
No, he'll have to come
here. I can't go to the coast.
382
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:17,993
No, we're gonna have to try to keep
that whole week clear for my honeymoon.
383
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:20,696
Sometime around the 17th.
384
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:26,569
Well, if you can close it, all right,
do so. Call me. I'm on the plane.
385
00:20:26,593 --> 00:20:27,958
Sorry, dear.
386
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:33,875
To Blanche Deveraux, the most
wonderful woman in the world.
387
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,544
Now, Richard, you stop that.
388
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,879
No, I mean it. And
my kids agree with me.
389
00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,781
They're really crazy about you.
390
00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:42,050
Richard, there's
something I have to ask you.
391
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,586
I have something
to ask you, too.
392
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:44,853
OK, you first.
393
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:47,223
Where would you like
to go on our honeymoon?
394
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,558
I thought I'd surprise
you and take you to Paris,
395
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,761
but then I started thinking.
Maybe you don't like Paris.
396
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,598
Maybe you'd rather cruise to
the islands or visit the Orient.
397
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:56,898
Richard.
398
00:20:56,922 --> 00:21:00,603
Oh, I just love the way
that ring looks on you.
399
00:21:00,627 --> 00:21:02,293
So do I.
400
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:08,544
Richard... Hmm?
401
00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:14,516
You know I am very, very fond of
you, but I think we have a problem.
402
00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:17,419
A problem? Let's look at it.
403
00:21:17,443 --> 00:21:21,156
Well, when you
first proposed to me,
404
00:21:21,180 --> 00:21:24,660
the thing that scared me the most
was the idea of being a mother again,
405
00:21:24,684 --> 00:21:26,895
especially to such
small children.
406
00:21:26,919 --> 00:21:31,066
I wasn't sure I could do it. In fact, I
wasn't sure I even wanted to do it.
407
00:21:31,090 --> 00:21:35,771
But then I got to know the kids,
and I realized they aren't the issue.
408
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:39,575
The real problem is...
409
00:21:39,599 --> 00:21:41,577
I'm third in your life.
410
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:44,212
Richard, you know
your work comes first,
411
00:21:44,236 --> 00:21:46,649
then the children, then me,
412
00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:50,218
and that kind of
marriage just can't work.
413
00:21:50,242 --> 00:21:51,620
At least, it can't for me.
414
00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:55,457
Blanche, I can be there
for all of you. I can do it.
415
00:21:55,481 --> 00:22:01,297
I've been able to do about anything I
set my mind to. I know I can do this, too.
416
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:04,300
Richard, nobody can do it all.
417
00:22:04,324 --> 00:22:08,036
Now, as well as I get along
with those kids, they need you.
418
00:22:08,060 --> 00:22:11,006
They're growing up without
you, Richard, and it's hurting 'em.
419
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:15,177
Right now, the most important
thing should be the children,
420
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:18,347
not... not getting married
421
00:22:18,371 --> 00:22:20,549
and not Gresham on the coast
422
00:22:20,573 --> 00:22:24,052
and not trying to squeeze
in a week for a honeymoon.
423
00:22:24,076 --> 00:22:27,055
Oh, this is the hardest thing
424
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:30,258
I've ever tried to
say to anybody.
425
00:22:30,282 --> 00:22:33,696
You can't marry me.
426
00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:36,231
Not now, not yet.
427
00:22:36,255 --> 00:22:38,967
Listen, why don't
you call up the kids
428
00:22:38,991 --> 00:22:41,570
and tell 'em they're spending
tonight with their daddy?
429
00:22:41,594 --> 00:22:44,406
And then, after awhile,
430
00:22:44,430 --> 00:22:50,111
if you still want to be a husband,
why, you just... you let me know.
431
00:22:50,135 --> 00:22:52,269
Bye.
432
00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:07,328
Dorothy, do you
want to do the honors?
433
00:23:07,352 --> 00:23:10,098
Maybe later. In private.
434
00:23:10,122 --> 00:23:13,434
I mean fasten the floor flange.
That's all we have left to do.
435
00:23:13,458 --> 00:23:15,170
No, honey, you go ahead.
436
00:23:15,194 --> 00:23:18,473
Later, I'll break a bottle of
champagne over the flush valve.
437
00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:21,877
Oh, girls, it is beautiful!
I'm so proud of you!
438
00:23:21,901 --> 00:23:24,079
Thanks, Blanche.
Hey, are you going out?
439
00:23:24,103 --> 00:23:25,580
Yes.
440
00:23:25,604 --> 00:23:28,049
Ah, I'm glad. You know, we've
been so worried about you.
441
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:30,952
Well, I guess you can cry just
so long and eat just so much.
442
00:23:30,976 --> 00:23:33,655
Then you have to pull yourself
together and get on with your life.
443
00:23:33,679 --> 00:23:36,357
Besides, there'll
be other Richards.
444
00:23:36,381 --> 00:23:39,961
'Course, they won't be as
charming or as handsome or as rich.
445
00:23:39,985 --> 00:23:42,664
I'd better stop. I'm starting
to depress myself again.
446
00:23:42,688 --> 00:23:45,000
Sophia, look.
447
00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:47,368
Isn't it wonderful?
What do you think?
448
00:23:47,392 --> 00:23:49,004
Looks like a bathroom.
449
00:23:49,028 --> 00:23:51,473
A bathroom that works!
450
00:23:51,497 --> 00:23:53,909
And you were so sure that
we couldn't do it ourselves.
451
00:23:53,933 --> 00:23:58,201
Watch. Girls, come on. 1, 2, 3!
452
00:24:06,178 --> 00:24:08,646
Knock it off. It's
water, not oil.
35933
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