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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:11,010 See? I told you my cousin was a celebrity. 2 00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,746 That's him wrestling the dog. 3 00:00:12,747 --> 00:00:14,013 Fairbell, this is just 4 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,082 white-trash hillbillies fighting, and poorly. 5 00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:17,417 It doesn't make your cousin Internet-famous. 6 00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:19,619 Okay, "hillbilly" is a hurtful term. 7 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:21,554 They prefer the term "holler folk." 8 00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:24,758 Well, at least have the decency to get up out of the trash. 9 00:00:24,759 --> 00:00:26,091 It's a trash fight. 10 00:00:26,092 --> 00:00:27,493 This is what happens when you let Fairbell drive. 11 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:28,894 Give me this. 12 00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:31,897 This is that wing-ding kid I was telling you guys about. 13 00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:34,433 - Oh, yeah. - Wing-ding! 14 00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,971 What's up, guys? Wing-Ding Kid! 15 00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:39,773 - Smash that like button below... - Wait a second. 16 00:00:39,774 --> 00:00:42,908 - This kid goes to Smoot. - He's in my study hall. 17 00:00:42,909 --> 00:00:45,311 All the other kids act like he's some sort of celebrity. 18 00:00:45,312 --> 00:00:47,647 Check out videos every Thursday, press "subscribe" 19 00:00:47,648 --> 00:00:50,316 for more awesome wing-dings! 20 00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:52,652 One million views for this garbage! 21 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,854 You see, this is the problem with the world today. 22 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,922 Who finds that funny? 23 00:00:56,923 --> 00:00:59,659 My favorite part was when he's all, "Wing-ding!" Remember? 24 00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:02,127 See, you guys are just too old and out of touch to understand. 25 00:01:02,128 --> 00:01:03,596 It's not about the "wing-ding." 26 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:05,799 Oh, really? Enlighten us, then. 27 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:07,933 What is it about? Well, it's, uh... 28 00:01:07,934 --> 00:01:10,936 It's clearly about a subversion of respect. 29 00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:14,273 - Oh. - Wherein the winged hot boy 30 00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:16,275 usurps various archetypes. 31 00:01:16,276 --> 00:01:18,344 It's textbook hot-boy usurpation. 32 00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,079 - It's textbook. - Those are words. 33 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:22,215 - Mm-hmm. - I hope you have a plastic bag 34 00:01:22,216 --> 00:01:24,750 to put all that dog shit in that just came out of your mouth. 35 00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:28,277 - I'm right about this. - Hey, kid. Come over here. 36 00:01:28,278 --> 00:01:31,624 Uh, tell us, why do kids like these "Wing-Ding" videos? 37 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:34,427 I mean, I guess it's, like, a subversion of respect, you know? 38 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,761 - Oh! - But Wing-Ding Kid 39 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,230 is a kind of hot boy for all of us, 40 00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,565 a hot boy that usurps archetypes. 41 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,167 - Just get out of here. - Yeah, go to class. 42 00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:42,301 - Get out of here. - You nailed it. 43 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,437 Anyway, one thing I can tell you... 44 00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:47,640 I don't have time for this flash-in-the-pan Internet 45 00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:50,309 BS stuff, okay? That guy... 46 00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:51,911 Yeah, he'll be forgotten faster 47 00:01:51,912 --> 00:01:54,162 than even Fairbell's trashy cousins. 48 00:01:54,163 --> 00:01:55,181 - I promise you. - Wing-ding! 49 00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:56,315 Holy crud! 50 00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:58,984 Are you serious right now?! Are you serious?! 51 00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:02,522 Quit wasting my time 52 00:02:02,523 --> 00:02:05,124 I ain't here for you 53 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,326 I'm just putting in work 54 00:02:07,327 --> 00:02:11,700 Till my day is through 55 00:02:11,701 --> 00:02:14,332 - Synced and corrected by AlexandreMT - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 56 00:02:14,334 --> 00:02:15,801 Ooh, the brown kind! 57 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,000 Fairbell. It buffered. 58 00:02:17,001 --> 00:02:18,003 - Oh. Oh. - Get in here. 59 00:02:18,004 --> 00:02:20,406 - I'm Uncle Jake. - Oh, another one? 60 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,475 Uncle Jake spent his entire advertising budget 61 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,610 - on these things. - Because I don't think 62 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:26,479 that you need to be a goddamn millionaire 63 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,147 to be able to afford quality ingredients, 64 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,349 unlike some of our competitors, 65 00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:33,486 who use garbage trash that they found in the alley! 66 00:02:33,487 --> 00:02:35,755 - Jake, where's the fire extinguisher? - What? 67 00:02:35,756 --> 00:02:38,824 I'm in the middle of doing a Crazy Uncle Jake's ad. 68 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,226 - It's bad. - How bad? 69 00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:41,427 Worse than last week. 70 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:44,163 But hotter. Uncle Jake's Pizza... 71 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,565 Official pizza of the Denver Broncos... 72 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:47,967 The horses, not the team! 73 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,734 Aah! 74 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:52,906 - Wing-ding! - Holy crud! 75 00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:54,640 Holy crud! 76 00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,776 Holy crud! 77 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,778 What's up, guys? Wing-Ding Kid smackdown... 78 00:02:58,779 --> 00:03:01,447 "Holy crud"? What is he, a youth pastor? 79 00:03:01,448 --> 00:03:03,449 1.1 million views? 80 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:06,119 Shoemaker's the most popular Wing-Ding video to date. 81 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:07,787 It has nothing to do with Shoemaker. 82 00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:09,589 Wing-Ding Kid has never dinged a teacher. 83 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:12,926 This is textbook hot-boy usurpation escalation. 84 00:03:12,927 --> 00:03:15,261 I like how it started with the fire at the pizza shop, 85 00:03:15,262 --> 00:03:17,797 but then it was about Holy Crud Guy. 86 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:18,998 That's just good storytelling. 87 00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:21,401 That was the commercial before the video. 88 00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:22,936 You know they're entirely different things, right? 89 00:03:22,937 --> 00:03:24,203 Oh, my gosh, he's here. 90 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:27,073 Holy Crud Guy. 91 00:03:27,074 --> 00:03:28,608 Thank you! Thank you! 92 00:03:28,609 --> 00:03:30,476 Yes, yes, very impressive 93 00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,745 how Shoemaker unknowingly appeared in a video. 94 00:03:32,746 --> 00:03:34,480 - Bravo. - I know, right?! 95 00:03:34,481 --> 00:03:37,283 So, get this... I go to my coffee shop 96 00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:39,685 and I get up to the cashier and the cashier says, 97 00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,487 "You're money's no good here." 98 00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:42,822 Yeah, and I figured that Tampa 99 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,357 had just canceled my credit card again. 100 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:46,425 - Sure. - But then they gave it to me for free. 101 00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:49,429 - What? - Yeah! And they wrote this on it. 102 00:03:49,430 --> 00:03:51,431 - What?! - Holy Crud Guy. 103 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,232 Lucky! 104 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,448 Then how cool is that? 105 00:03:54,449 --> 00:03:55,701 Apparently this Wing-Ding dude 106 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,370 has a way bigger reach 107 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:58,904 than I thought originally. 108 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,574 I mean, it's been pretty amazing to see all the people... 109 00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,709 I am so sorry. 110 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,780 Maybe you didn't realize this is the faculty cafeteria, you fu... 111 00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:09,182 Mr. Holy Crud Guy, can I get a picture with you? 112 00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:12,051 Well, yeah! A fan? Why didn't you just say so? 113 00:04:12,052 --> 00:04:13,787 Hey, what's-your-face, hold this real quick. 114 00:04:13,788 --> 00:04:15,388 Fairbell, come take a photo of us. 115 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:16,522 Come on. 116 00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:19,859 Gi... Take the photo, you moron! 117 00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,527 This is bullshit! I can't believe 118 00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:24,530 Wing-Ding Kid picked Shoemaker. What a wasted opportunity. 119 00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:25,931 If he'd picked me, that video would have 120 00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:29,068 2 mil views, guaranteed, first day. 121 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,870 Wing-Ding Kid should have chosen me, 122 00:04:30,871 --> 00:04:33,739 but, no, another straight white male. 123 00:04:33,740 --> 00:04:38,211 Go figure. Why does the Internet hate women? 124 00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:41,014 This was good. This was good. So you go here? 125 00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:42,748 Yeah, I, uh... 126 00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:46,152 Your... Your class, fifth period... Brady. 127 00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,354 - Don't talk much. - Oh, there you are! 128 00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,156 There you are, Peter! 129 00:04:50,157 --> 00:04:51,624 - Yeah. I see you. - Oh, that's my little buddy. 130 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,893 That's my little friend. He doesn't know that kid's name. 131 00:04:53,894 --> 00:04:56,029 Well, thank you for coming out. That was fun. 132 00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:58,498 Okay, but seriously, this is the faculty cafeteria, 133 00:04:58,499 --> 00:04:59,870 so get out of here. 134 00:04:59,871 --> 00:05:03,769 Wow! So cool to just connect with the fans, huh? 135 00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:06,906 Okay, relax, Shoemaker. That is Wing-Ding Kid's fan. 136 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,307 You're just his latest victim. 137 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,709 Yeah, it could have been anybody. 138 00:05:09,710 --> 00:05:12,578 Jealous much? 139 00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,247 Mmm! 140 00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:16,716 Everything tastes better when it's free. 141 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:18,317 - Tangy. - Gross. 142 00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,453 What are you, my stalker or something? 143 00:05:20,454 --> 00:05:22,722 - Kind of. - Cool. 144 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,905 Stay on my six. Let everybody see you. 145 00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:28,194 My agent, Lucius, at Forbes, 146 00:05:28,195 --> 00:05:30,898 is fielding a lot of offers for branded content. 147 00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:34,934 Brandon, there's no talking in study hall. 148 00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:38,137 We did a call-out to that "That's What You Think" girl 149 00:05:38,138 --> 00:05:39,539 about going to homecoming with me. 150 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,674 Huge crossover buzz. 151 00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:42,141 - Check out the video. - That's what you think! 152 00:05:42,142 --> 00:05:44,810 And no cellphone usage, either. 153 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:47,346 Whoa. Hey. That... That's not a cellphone, Ms. Logan. 154 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:50,349 Oh, really? See, that's the paintbrush for my art. 155 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,218 Ah. But I, you know, wouldn't expect you to understand that 156 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:54,087 because you're old and scared of the Internet. 157 00:05:54,088 --> 00:05:56,021 Okay. 158 00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:59,158 Yeah, oh, I am so old and scared of the Internet 159 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:03,829 that I have reached platinum pen-pal status on thislldo.net. 160 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,365 - What's that? - It's... 161 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,500 You know, it's nothing. You're right. 162 00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,435 I'm afraid of the Internet. 163 00:06:09,436 --> 00:06:11,036 Hey, yo, what up, Wing-Ding Dawg. 164 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,772 Keep their heads ringing, right? 165 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:15,108 - Straight, pock. - Death bro? 166 00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:16,976 Okay, I saw the latest video. 167 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:19,979 1.1 million views. Dude, nice! 168 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:22,047 But "Holy Crud" guy... Ugh! 169 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:24,584 Am I right, guys? Weak sauce! 170 00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,119 Put me in your next video, 171 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,055 and I guarantee 3 million views on the first day, straight up. 172 00:06:29,056 --> 00:06:30,790 'Cause you'll wing-ding me, and I'll be like, 173 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:33,058 "Dios mio!" and that's the Latin market... 174 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:35,060 That, real talk, you're missing right now. 175 00:06:35,061 --> 00:06:37,062 Well, thanks, Mr. Payton. 176 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:39,064 - I'll be sure to call you... - Cool. 177 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,467 As soon as I'm ready to commit career suicide. 178 00:06:44,939 --> 00:06:46,105 God. 179 00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:50,076 - "Dios mio"? - That's what you think! 180 00:06:50,077 --> 00:06:52,612 Who would have thought a little 16-year-old Internet celeb 181 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:53,813 would be such a prick? 182 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:55,615 This is why we need more diverse voices 183 00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:56,950 in our web-prank content. 184 00:06:56,951 --> 00:06:59,152 I pitched him the "Dios mio" thing. He wouldn't bite. 185 00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:01,687 No, I mean more diverse voices like mine. 186 00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,489 Yeah, well, regardless whether it's you or me, 187 00:07:03,490 --> 00:07:07,493 someone needs to put this Wing-Ding Kid in his place. 188 00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:09,789 - Wait a minute. - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 189 00:07:09,790 --> 00:07:10,817 Totally. 190 00:07:10,819 --> 00:07:12,698 - That kid must get so much pus... - We make a video! 191 00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,833 - We make a video. - Gross. 192 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:15,568 Yes, we make a video. 193 00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,236 Same page. 194 00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:19,305 - Video. - Gross. 195 00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:22,241 Now, sometime in late 1937, 196 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:24,043 I like to imagine that the folks of 197 00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:27,246 Nanking were probably saying to themselves... 198 00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:29,248 Holy crud! 199 00:07:29,249 --> 00:07:31,384 Jackpot! 200 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:33,252 Yeah! Ooh, ooh, "jackpot"... 201 00:07:33,253 --> 00:07:35,588 Will you write that down in your little leather-bound... 202 00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:37,723 And make sure you get the exclamation point on it. 203 00:07:37,724 --> 00:07:42,261 Attaboy. Anyway, um... Oh, God, where was I? Uh... 204 00:07:42,262 --> 00:07:44,864 Oh, we were gonna watch your video again. 205 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:46,932 Maybe this time in slow motion. 206 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,002 Yeah, all right! Come on! 207 00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:51,485 Now, you... you do know I ad-libbed all of this? 208 00:07:51,486 --> 00:07:52,605 Yeah, one take. 209 00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:54,540 I'm just not in love with any of these. 210 00:07:54,541 --> 00:07:56,542 I think we're over-thinking this, you know? 211 00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:57,877 "America's Funniest Home Videos"... 212 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,345 That set the standard. 213 00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,614 Guy getting hit in the crotch... Slam dunk. Every time. 214 00:08:01,615 --> 00:08:03,282 Why does it always have to be a guy? 215 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:05,685 Why can't a woman get hit in the crotch? 216 00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:06,820 Because that's not funny. 217 00:08:06,821 --> 00:08:08,421 There's no stakes there, Abbey. 218 00:08:08,422 --> 00:08:11,624 Fine. I'll just do a talking-head video 219 00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:13,292 where I thoughtfully and inclusively screech 220 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,760 my views into the camera. 221 00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:16,896 Hey, I am all for you being the star of this thing, okay, 222 00:08:16,897 --> 00:08:18,164 but your head is not 223 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,700 what Japanese businessmen want to see. It's just not. 224 00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:22,365 Loren, for the last time, I'm not doing that. 225 00:08:22,367 --> 00:08:23,369 Okay, fine. 226 00:08:23,370 --> 00:08:25,038 Then we're out of ideas for a viral video. 227 00:08:25,039 --> 00:08:26,239 Are you happy? 228 00:08:26,240 --> 00:08:28,107 God, this code is so hard to crack. 229 00:08:28,108 --> 00:08:30,109 Well, what was that bullshit you were talking about earlier? 230 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,379 Oh, well, listen, usurpation is not a given. 231 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,516 It's part of the ephemeral nature of the Internet 232 00:08:36,517 --> 00:08:39,185 that has to be organic to the original hot boy. 233 00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,720 - And that's... - We just need to find someone 234 00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,256 who thinks on the level of an average Internet moron. 235 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:45,925 - Yeah. Oh, my God. - Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 236 00:08:45,926 --> 00:08:47,793 Yes! Totally! Fairbell can help us make a video! 237 00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:49,328 You could probably just take your top off! 238 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:50,596 We don't even need the piss cam! 239 00:08:50,597 --> 00:08:53,199 No, y-your thing. What you said. 240 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,200 - Yeah. - Fairbell. 241 00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,176 You think it's about a shirtless guy putting on deodorant, 242 00:09:03,177 --> 00:09:04,644 but, plot twist, 243 00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:07,380 it's about a goat falling asleep just standing up. 244 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,115 Fairbell, can you please, 245 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,317 please stop watching animal videos and tell us 246 00:09:11,318 --> 00:09:13,052 Wing-Ding became so popular? 247 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:16,389 Duh! He's hilarious! "Wing-ding!" 248 00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:17,590 Just sounds funny. 249 00:09:17,591 --> 00:09:19,525 It's like a doorbell or something, 250 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,527 like a catchy, funny doorbell. 251 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:23,663 And so the key is a catchphrase? 252 00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:26,265 No, it's like a short saying 253 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,533 that you repeat over and over again 254 00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,402 so it gets stuck in people's heads. 255 00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:32,405 That's what you should do. Like, "Ding-dong!" 256 00:09:32,406 --> 00:09:37,477 Or like, "Dong-ding!" Even better. "Wing-ping!" 257 00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:40,680 Or, "Wong-ping!" Hmm? 258 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:43,749 Or, "Ping-ping!" Or, "Ting-ting!" 259 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,018 Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 260 00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,419 I mean, probably not. 261 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:48,154 We should probably just do what Fairbell says. 262 00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,490 Really? It's so stupid. 263 00:09:50,491 --> 00:09:53,292 I'm beginning to think that's the point. 264 00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:54,627 I hope you're writing these down. 265 00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:58,764 "Ding-king!" "Ting-ring!" 266 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,766 Ooh! Obviously not that one. 267 00:10:05,506 --> 00:10:07,106 Whoa! 268 00:10:07,107 --> 00:10:11,377 Hot off the CafePress. That's right! 269 00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:14,447 All the unlicensed "Holy Crud" merch 270 00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,982 your little hearts could desire, huh? 271 00:10:16,983 --> 00:10:18,984 Yeah. Let me show you what I got here. 272 00:10:18,985 --> 00:10:21,855 All right, first up... Cruds MacKenzie. 273 00:10:21,856 --> 00:10:24,990 Huh? No one? Come on, you don't... 274 00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,926 You remember the old beer advertisements? 275 00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,327 That's for you, super fan. 276 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:30,396 All right, now, now, now, now, now, check this one out. 277 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:33,199 Cruddy Holly! That's a fun little play on words, 278 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,735 and this one isn't gonna crash and burn like he did. 279 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,403 All right, music lover, that's yours. 280 00:10:37,404 --> 00:10:40,139 All right, my favorite. Probably the pinnacle for me. 281 00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,075 Check this bad boy out. 282 00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:44,077 "This Crud's For You." 283 00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:45,478 No? Nothing? 284 00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:49,148 The old beer advertis... Anyway, it's lit. Trust me. 285 00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,350 Okay, now, let's talk prices. 286 00:10:51,351 --> 00:10:56,289 I am going to be asking $40 a pop. 287 00:10:56,290 --> 00:10:59,625 Now, you're saying to yourself, "That is a bit pricey." 288 00:10:59,626 --> 00:11:00,760 Wing-ding! Wing-ding! Wing-ding! 289 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,563 But I had to pay some thieving open-mic comics 290 00:11:03,564 --> 00:11:07,500 to write those puns, which cost a bit more than I... 291 00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:12,171 Okay, well, all right. I'm losing a few of you. 292 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,640 Well, ah, ah, ah, twist my arm. 293 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:17,643 All right, $30 for the t-shirts now. 294 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:19,512 I will come down on the price 295 00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:22,181 because you guys liked me when I was dog shit, 296 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,584 and I don't forget that kind of s... 297 00:11:24,585 --> 00:11:27,052 Hey, hey! Wait, wait, wait! Where are you going? 298 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,522 The Wing-Ding Kid just posted a new video. 299 00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:32,392 He "wing-dinged" City Comptroller Theresa Ortega. 300 00:11:32,393 --> 00:11:35,094 - She's, like, famous. - Well, what am I? 301 00:11:36,931 --> 00:11:38,057 Dog shit? 302 00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,935 Hey, hey, hey! 303 00:11:41,936 --> 00:11:44,270 I'm gonna need $40 for that shirt. 304 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:47,406 - You said $30. - No, I never said that. 305 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:51,077 I was just gonna swim in it anyway, so... 306 00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,548 Ohh. 307 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:56,944 Gadzooks! 308 00:11:58,331 --> 00:11:59,331 Ooh. 309 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,423 Wing-ding! 310 00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,959 Okay, okay, all right, there he is. There he is. 311 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,360 Let's go over the plan one more time. 312 00:12:07,361 --> 00:12:09,028 I run up there. I poke Steven in the belly button, yell, 313 00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:11,230 "Ding-dong!" and, Abbey, you just film. 314 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:13,032 Oh. Awesome. So I just get shoved out of the way 315 00:12:13,033 --> 00:12:14,768 so another sausage video gets made. 316 00:12:14,769 --> 00:12:16,966 We've been over this. There's a lack of female directors, too. 317 00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:18,140 Come on! 318 00:12:18,141 --> 00:12:19,247 Fairbell, you remember your part of the plan? 319 00:12:19,249 --> 00:12:20,373 I got it. I got it. 320 00:12:20,374 --> 00:12:22,842 No direct eye contact because you get stage fright. 321 00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,443 Exactly. Thank you very much. 322 00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,180 All right, then we just upload this sucker and just sit back 323 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:28,982 and wait for the endorsement deals to come in. 324 00:12:28,983 --> 00:12:30,516 I bet we get movie offers. 325 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,118 I'll probably get my own signature IPA 326 00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,253 out of the whole deal. And the best part is Wing-Ding Kid 327 00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,122 will just disappear into our rear-view mirror. 328 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:37,791 - I mean, this formula's golden. - Right? 329 00:12:37,792 --> 00:12:41,060 A couple of teachers joking around in school, being goofs. 330 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,062 It's like they're worse than the kids they teach. 331 00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,598 I would watch like a hundred episodes if that was a show. 332 00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:48,868 I'm gonna be so much better than Shoemaker. 333 00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:51,337 I mean, um, I'll be the first woman to, uh, 334 00:12:51,338 --> 00:12:53,339 shatter the pixilated Internet scene. 335 00:12:53,340 --> 00:12:54,674 Do you want a third crack at that, or are you good here? 336 00:12:54,675 --> 00:12:56,942 Just go ding-dong Steven. 337 00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,411 - Okay. - Ding-dong! 338 00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:03,282 This is Abbey Ribitowitz Logan... 339 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:04,884 Can you move? 340 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:07,821 Bup, bup, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, 341 00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:09,155 go, go, go, go, go, go! 342 00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,824 Okay, perfect. 343 00:13:10,825 --> 00:13:13,159 This is Abbey Ribitowitz Logan coming at you live. 344 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,694 That's right. I'm a woman. 345 00:13:14,695 --> 00:13:16,429 So sorry. Deal with it. 346 00:13:16,430 --> 00:13:20,099 Thanks a lot. Before that, I'm gonna break it down for you haters. 347 00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:21,701 - We've got a... - Hey, Sweens. 348 00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:24,237 Can I help you with something, Loren? 349 00:13:24,238 --> 00:13:26,506 Um, no. I'm... I'm good. I'm cool. 350 00:13:26,507 --> 00:13:29,575 Women can be funny. We can be as funny as dogs. 351 00:13:29,576 --> 00:13:32,578 - We can be as funny as cats. - Yeah, you're acting weird. 352 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:35,571 - What are you up to? - Nothing. 353 00:13:36,383 --> 00:13:37,583 Anyway, ding-dong! 354 00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,252 - Oh! - Aah! 355 00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:42,255 'Cause dat's what I think, girl! 356 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:45,391 - Oh, my God! Come on! - Shit! 357 00:13:45,392 --> 00:13:46,860 Oh, God, you broke my nose! 358 00:13:46,861 --> 00:13:48,127 Run! 359 00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:49,729 Go, go, go! 360 00:13:49,730 --> 00:13:50,864 Do you think we're still gonna go viral? 361 00:13:50,865 --> 00:13:52,465 Why would you try to touch my belly button? 362 00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:55,535 I thought we could maybe be friends or something, you know? 363 00:13:55,536 --> 00:13:57,378 That's the way you make friends? Jesus. 364 00:14:00,074 --> 00:14:02,007 Oh, that right there... sick. 365 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,809 That was... That was straight fire right there. 366 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,279 That... Man, that's bomb tits right there. 367 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,384 - Okay. - What? 368 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:10,616 Hey, listen, I really appreciate 369 00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,085 you taking the time to sit down with me, 370 00:14:12,086 --> 00:14:14,353 - Wing-Ding Kid. - Hey, let's just make it quick, okay? 371 00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,556 I got a Skype call with YouTube Orange in five minutes. 372 00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:18,291 - Whoa, what's that? - Nobody knows. 373 00:14:18,292 --> 00:14:20,226 Look, what can I do you for, Holy Crud Guy? 374 00:14:20,227 --> 00:14:22,361 Yeah, I wanted to talk to you about, you know, 375 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:26,366 this idea I had of maybe you and I collabo-ing again? Huh? 376 00:14:26,367 --> 00:14:28,568 You know, seeing as how I'm your most popular vid to date, 377 00:14:28,569 --> 00:14:30,103 I don't... You are not anymore, dude. 378 00:14:30,104 --> 00:14:33,839 I winged the ding out of City Comptroller Theresa Ortega. 379 00:14:33,840 --> 00:14:36,642 Yeah, that... that video's through the stratosphere. 380 00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,244 Well, that's not a big deal 381 00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:41,180 because we're about to blow this into the ether, all right?! 382 00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:42,982 Check this out. I've been working on some ideas. 383 00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,651 So you come up... Classic wing-ding. "Wing-ding!" 384 00:14:45,652 --> 00:14:47,853 And then I'm like, "Ooh, gadzooks!" 385 00:14:47,854 --> 00:14:49,388 You know? Something I can hold. 386 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:52,792 Or like, "Oh, what the geez?!" You know? Something like that. 387 00:14:52,793 --> 00:14:54,060 Something that you can put on a t-shirt. 388 00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:56,329 See, I think that our audience is in... in desperate... 389 00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:59,332 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Did you say, "our audience"? 390 00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,667 It's... It's my audience. 391 00:15:01,668 --> 00:15:04,203 Well, Holy Crud Guy helped. 392 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:06,940 Do you think you're some sort of influencer? 393 00:15:06,941 --> 00:15:09,342 Yeah, I guess. 394 00:15:09,343 --> 00:15:11,344 Is this... Is this merch? This is merch. 395 00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:14,547 - Yeah, I made some shirts, and I-I... - Dude, you are so sad. 396 00:15:14,548 --> 00:15:17,082 Guys, he made merch. 397 00:15:19,353 --> 00:15:21,657 "Crud Bundy." 398 00:15:21,659 --> 00:15:23,422 Where's that? 399 00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:26,091 "Where's"... No, David Faustino. 400 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:28,361 "Married With Children"? Oh, my God. 401 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:31,765 You kids do not get my timely references. 402 00:15:31,766 --> 00:15:35,301 I probably shouldn't have spent $400 on all these shirts. 403 00:15:35,302 --> 00:15:37,771 New idea. Peep this, G! 404 00:15:37,772 --> 00:15:40,706 You wear them in your newest video! 405 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,375 I wouldn't even swim in those. 406 00:15:42,376 --> 00:15:43,702 Look, face it, bro. 407 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:47,648 Holy Crud Guy... You're a one-ding wonder. 408 00:15:48,515 --> 00:15:50,784 Be gone. 409 00:15:50,785 --> 00:15:52,786 Lucius, baby! How's it going? 410 00:15:52,787 --> 00:15:55,388 - Yo, Dingy, baby, who's that? - Oh, no, he's nobody. 411 00:15:55,389 --> 00:15:57,590 I'm thinking we go out into the streets 412 00:15:57,591 --> 00:16:01,260 and dress up... 413 00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,062 Who knew Steven was such a badass? 414 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,664 Um, not me. 415 00:16:04,665 --> 00:16:06,399 - My turn. - It's not your turn. 416 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:07,801 - You're not even a real doctor. - Oh, yeah? 417 00:16:07,802 --> 00:16:09,469 Well, Quinn said if we're gonna split the paycheck, 418 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:10,736 I got to start pulling my weight. 419 00:16:10,737 --> 00:16:12,405 - Okay. Just... - Please. 420 00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,207 Can you not be in my shadow? 421 00:16:14,208 --> 00:16:16,542 Well, lose some weight, and the shadow shrinks. 422 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:19,945 - Ah, Jesus! Go easy! - I think, girl! 423 00:16:19,946 --> 00:16:21,414 There it is. 424 00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,216 - I-Shit! - Oh, come on. 425 00:16:23,217 --> 00:16:25,018 You completely missed the punch, Abbey. 426 00:16:25,019 --> 00:16:26,486 That's pathetic. 427 00:16:26,487 --> 00:16:27,887 No wonder there's no women directors on the Internet. 428 00:16:27,888 --> 00:16:30,023 - Ohh. - Why is everybody calling me 429 00:16:30,024 --> 00:16:32,158 an otter in the comments? What is an otter? 430 00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,960 It's a small, hairy gay man. 431 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,696 Don't even sweat the comments. They don't even make sense. 432 00:16:36,697 --> 00:16:39,565 Look, they call me the "retread." 433 00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:40,834 Damn auto-correct. 434 00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:42,035 You haven't read the worst comment. 435 00:16:42,036 --> 00:16:45,705 - It's from Wing-Ding Kid. - Where? 436 00:16:45,706 --> 00:16:48,307 Like, he's all, "Check out these knees!" 437 00:16:48,308 --> 00:16:49,909 How does this comment have 250 likes 438 00:16:49,910 --> 00:16:51,511 when the video only has 13 views? 439 00:16:51,512 --> 00:16:53,646 Uh, 'cause your idea sucked. 440 00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:55,781 I should never have stopped my biting social commentary 441 00:16:55,782 --> 00:16:57,583 to film your stupid punch. 442 00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:00,186 We can't beat him with a cheap knock-off. 443 00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:02,522 We need an even cheaper direct rip-off. 444 00:17:02,523 --> 00:17:03,923 We need to wing-ding Wing-Ding Kid. 445 00:17:03,924 --> 00:17:06,059 - Yes! - Yes! Exactly! 446 00:17:06,060 --> 00:17:07,393 But no one knows when he's gonna wing-ding. 447 00:17:07,394 --> 00:17:09,262 So you lure him out into the open 448 00:17:09,263 --> 00:17:11,130 with a wing-ding opportunity 449 00:17:11,131 --> 00:17:13,266 - that he can't resist... twins. - That he can't resist - twins. 450 00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:15,134 - Why are you finishing my sentences? - You were running out of steam. 451 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,936 - Oh, I'm not running out of steam. - You were running out of steam. 452 00:17:16,937 --> 00:17:18,007 I'm ramping up the steam. 453 00:17:18,009 --> 00:17:19,055 I thought you were gonna fall asleep in the middle of that. 454 00:17:19,056 --> 00:17:20,740 No one gives a shit about twins, you guys. 455 00:17:20,741 --> 00:17:22,808 Oh, yeah? Tell that to the Menendez brothers. 456 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,544 - Okay, they were not twins. - And that was their problem. 457 00:17:24,545 --> 00:17:26,212 But the Greenes are onto something. 458 00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:29,282 To catch viral-video flies, you need celebrity honey. 459 00:17:29,283 --> 00:17:32,017 I mean, think about it. Wing-Ding Kid dinged a teacher, 460 00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:33,553 then a city comptroller. 461 00:17:33,554 --> 00:17:35,221 The dings are getting more high-profile. 462 00:17:35,222 --> 00:17:37,098 - He's dinging up. - Exactly. 463 00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,093 Hi, I'm Uncle Jake from Uncle Jake's Pizza. 464 00:17:40,094 --> 00:17:42,027 Contrary to what you may have heard, 465 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,829 I'm doing just fine. 466 00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:46,700 You can't ding any higher than a local celeb. 467 00:17:46,701 --> 00:17:48,568 Oh, let's get Holy Crud Guy. 468 00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:51,437 No! My cousin Uncle Jake. 469 00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:53,172 - Is it gas? - I think that's gas. 470 00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,641 It's gas! There's a leak! Okay, run! Everybody run! 471 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:59,011 - Oh, God, not him. - Yeah. It's decided. 472 00:18:05,786 --> 00:18:10,055 There he is. Aw, yeah! Thanks for doing this, Jake. 473 00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:12,725 - Hell, yeah, cuz. We fam. - Yeah, we are. 474 00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:14,660 Wait, you... You got Nana's Caddy? 475 00:18:14,661 --> 00:18:16,129 Yeah, who else was she gonna give it to? 476 00:18:16,130 --> 00:18:17,530 - All right, what are we doing? - All right, it's pretty simple. 477 00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:19,332 I just need you to stand out in the open, 478 00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,534 hand out pizza cash, promote the biz. That's it. 479 00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:22,936 And then some kid's just gonna come up 480 00:18:22,937 --> 00:18:24,537 and try and fuck me like a bird, like in cloaca. 481 00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:27,740 - Exactly. Exactly. - It's called wing-dinging. 482 00:18:27,741 --> 00:18:30,209 By the way, I'm a huge fan of your videos, 483 00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,945 especially the one where you get really burned, 484 00:18:31,946 --> 00:18:33,813 and then all of a sudden, it's about an elephant 485 00:18:33,814 --> 00:18:35,815 and a dog becoming unlikely friends. 486 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,084 - Is that guy retreaded? - He's a little retreaded. 487 00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:41,287 Just think of yourself as bait, Jake. 488 00:18:41,288 --> 00:18:43,623 The bait. Oh, so, like, "To Catch a Predator," 489 00:18:43,624 --> 00:18:48,294 but I'm the sweet, sweet child butt that everyone's after. 490 00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:51,631 Uh, yeah, but do you have to phrase it like that? 491 00:18:51,632 --> 00:18:53,433 - I mean, I'd prefer to. - All right, and then when 492 00:18:53,434 --> 00:18:55,301 Wing-Ding Kid tries to wing-ding you, 493 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,970 I run out and wing-ding him. 494 00:18:56,971 --> 00:19:00,306 A hot-boy status usurpation by an elder hot boy. 495 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,441 I never know what you're talking about, cousin. 496 00:19:07,181 --> 00:19:10,049 Serves me right. 497 00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:12,986 Flew too close to the sun. 498 00:19:12,987 --> 00:19:15,360 It's all so fleeting. 499 00:19:16,056 --> 00:19:19,925 Just look at these Holy Crud Guy comments. 500 00:19:19,926 --> 00:19:23,129 "He looks like Matchbox 20's fat older brother." 501 00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:24,998 That's kind of funny. 502 00:19:24,999 --> 00:19:27,333 Why would you do this to yourself? 503 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:30,336 You shut your mouth, Brady. I need to see this. 504 00:19:30,337 --> 00:19:31,871 Hmm. Look at this one. 505 00:19:31,872 --> 00:19:33,739 "Aw, look what they scraped off of 506 00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:36,409 Kat Von D's tattoo parlor floor." 507 00:19:36,410 --> 00:19:37,743 Nice! 508 00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:39,679 Who doesn't want pizza, huh? $5 off. 509 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,348 The guy from Uncle Jake's is giving out free pizza cash. 510 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:45,150 Yes, there you go! Uncle Jake's Pizzeria. 511 00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:46,552 Mr. Shoemaker, can we go? 512 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:49,288 Since when do you need my permission to leave? 513 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,290 Right. Duh. Come on, guys. 514 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:54,427 Onto the next star that burns so bright. 515 00:19:54,428 --> 00:19:58,964 Onto the next eagle that soars on wings of crud. 516 00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,025 Celebrities. 517 00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:03,902 Celebrity. 518 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,507 That's it. 519 00:20:10,044 --> 00:20:11,377 Pizza cash. 520 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,846 Uncle Jake-eria's Pizza. 521 00:20:12,847 --> 00:20:16,049 Uncle Jake's Pizzeria. Pizza cash! 522 00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:18,251 - Where's Wing-Ding Kid? - Don't worry. He'll show. 523 00:20:18,252 --> 00:20:20,786 - It's a real promotion. - It's Holy Crud Guy! 524 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,588 - Oh, my God. - Here you go. Pizza cash. 525 00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:24,123 Get out of here with that shirt. 526 00:20:24,124 --> 00:20:27,393 - Weirdo. - Hey, there, Cousin Uncle Jake. 527 00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:30,196 Hey, there, Loren's sad friend. 528 00:20:30,197 --> 00:20:32,398 - What's up? - Can I bend your ear for a sec? 529 00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:35,134 - Yeah, I'm listening. Pizza cash. - Check this out. 530 00:20:35,135 --> 00:20:36,936 Listen, I got some real prime merch 531 00:20:36,937 --> 00:20:38,538 I'm willing to give you a great price on. 532 00:20:38,539 --> 00:20:39,673 Check these out. 533 00:20:39,674 --> 00:20:41,807 Oh, my gosh, he's trying to get Jake to sell his merch. 534 00:20:41,808 --> 00:20:44,610 - It's so sad. - Shoemaker is Wing-Ding Kid repellent. 535 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:47,213 I got to get him out of there. 536 00:20:47,214 --> 00:20:49,282 - But mostly that. - Shoemaker, man, get out of here. 537 00:20:49,283 --> 00:20:51,217 We're working on something that doesn't concern you. 538 00:20:51,218 --> 00:20:52,618 Actually, we're working on something 539 00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,153 that doesn't concern you. 540 00:20:54,154 --> 00:20:55,889 Cuz, reign in that bronco, okay? 541 00:20:55,890 --> 00:20:57,691 He's giving me a great deal on merch, 542 00:20:57,692 --> 00:20:59,158 and I can re-purpose this stuff, 543 00:20:59,159 --> 00:21:01,294 use it for napkins or even those, uh... 544 00:21:01,295 --> 00:21:04,029 Those shirts that the rappers twirl around all the time. 545 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,498 - North Cackalacky! - Whoo! 546 00:21:05,499 --> 00:21:07,100 - No, no! - Let it go, Shoemaker. 547 00:21:07,101 --> 00:21:08,902 - North Cackalacky! - Face it, you're washed up. 548 00:21:08,903 --> 00:21:10,436 Time for somebody else to have a turn. 549 00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:12,705 You know, I'm sorry that the Internet doesn't love you 550 00:21:12,706 --> 00:21:15,174 and they think that you're an otter, okay? 551 00:21:15,175 --> 00:21:16,442 Your jealousy stinks. 552 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:19,044 Now, why don't you get out of here and go back to your dam, otter? 553 00:21:19,045 --> 00:21:20,580 Otters don't live in dams. You know that. 554 00:21:20,581 --> 00:21:22,648 Here, why don't you use a napkin to dry your otter tears? 555 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:25,050 Stop saying "otter"! 556 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,452 You pick that up! 557 00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,187 Why don't you make me pick that up?! 558 00:21:28,188 --> 00:21:29,655 Oh, I'll gladly make you. 559 00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:32,525 You want to do something about it, Shoemaker?! 560 00:21:32,526 --> 00:21:34,193 Hey, get off my cousin! 561 00:21:34,194 --> 00:21:36,735 Take your damn hands off of him! 562 00:21:37,531 --> 00:21:39,733 North Cackalacky! 563 00:21:39,734 --> 00:21:41,534 Let's go help him. He's a celebrity. 564 00:21:41,535 --> 00:21:43,069 - Fairbell, wait. - No! 565 00:21:43,070 --> 00:21:44,629 Wait! 566 00:21:45,606 --> 00:21:48,474 Trash fight! He's famous. 567 00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:49,943 Hey, stop it! Ow! 568 00:21:49,944 --> 00:21:53,613 - Ohh! - Ooh! 569 00:21:53,614 --> 00:21:54,845 Well...? 570 00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:57,617 6 out of 10? 571 00:21:57,618 --> 00:21:59,885 No, see, that's not funny. There's no stakes. 572 00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:02,021 Now, if you had kicked Jake in the dick... 573 00:22:02,022 --> 00:22:05,583 Ohh! Fuddruckers! 574 00:22:05,584 --> 00:22:06,760 That's... Ohh! 575 00:22:06,761 --> 00:22:08,560 Aah! 576 00:22:11,698 --> 00:22:14,567 Guys, your wing-ding bait is here! 577 00:22:14,568 --> 00:22:16,302 Twins! 578 00:22:16,303 --> 00:22:19,238 - Get off me! - Hey, hey, hey, hey. 579 00:22:19,239 --> 00:22:20,840 Easy with the hard fighting, all right? 580 00:22:20,841 --> 00:22:22,175 I don't know how to treat serious injuries. 581 00:22:22,176 --> 00:22:23,977 - Aha! So you're a fraud. - I'm not a fraud. 582 00:22:23,978 --> 00:22:25,511 - You can't treat serious injuries? - I'm not a fraud. You're a fraud. 583 00:22:25,512 --> 00:22:26,780 - Get that finger out of my face. - Oh, I'll put this finger in. 584 00:22:26,781 --> 00:22:27,981 I'll put this finger in. 585 00:22:27,982 --> 00:22:29,048 - Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Really, really. 586 00:22:29,049 --> 00:22:31,184 - Take that, huh? - Ohh! God! Ohh! 587 00:22:37,124 --> 00:22:39,325 Wing-ding! 588 00:22:40,594 --> 00:22:43,260 - Damn it! - He got us! 589 00:22:44,331 --> 00:22:45,681 Yes! 590 00:22:48,934 --> 00:22:52,004 Wing-ding! 591 00:22:54,208 --> 00:22:58,678 "Epic fail, sad loser, fat teacher fight 592 00:22:58,679 --> 00:23:00,480 - gets 'wing-dinged.'" - Oh, my God. 593 00:23:00,481 --> 00:23:03,949 Well, I guess that would explain my coffee this morning. 594 00:23:06,420 --> 00:23:09,288 And they spit in it. You know, I can always tell. 595 00:23:09,289 --> 00:23:11,491 Silver lining... The most popular 596 00:23:11,492 --> 00:23:12,826 "Wing-Ding" video of all time. 597 00:23:12,827 --> 00:23:15,628 A couple kids in my third-period study hall recognized me. 598 00:23:15,629 --> 00:23:16,896 - Hey! - Ow! 599 00:23:16,897 --> 00:23:18,235 Sorry. 600 00:23:18,237 --> 00:23:19,699 A win for women everywhere. God damn it! 601 00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:22,168 Well, I proved what I set out to prove all along, 602 00:23:22,169 --> 00:23:24,637 which is that I could be a big Internet celebrity, 603 00:23:24,638 --> 00:23:26,105 but I'm just not desperate 604 00:23:26,106 --> 00:23:27,440 enough to need that kind of fame. 605 00:23:27,441 --> 00:23:29,975 Chalk up another win for the good guys, huh? 606 00:23:29,976 --> 00:23:31,511 - Ow! - Hey, do you think that 607 00:23:31,512 --> 00:23:35,181 they could link this video to the Holy Crud Guy e-store? 608 00:23:35,182 --> 00:23:36,449 I don't think that's gonna help. 609 00:23:36,450 --> 00:23:38,251 My favorite part was when the retreaded gym teacher 610 00:23:38,252 --> 00:23:39,519 jumped into it. 611 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,922 That guy was hilarious. Let's watch it again. 612 00:23:42,923 --> 00:23:44,190 - No. - Come on! 613 00:23:44,191 --> 00:23:46,926 - No. Come on, man. - 22 times for luck. 614 00:23:46,927 --> 00:23:48,127 - That's what they say. - One more time. 615 00:23:48,128 --> 00:23:49,795 That's what they say. 616 00:23:49,796 --> 00:23:51,197 Hey! It's me! 617 00:23:51,198 --> 00:23:53,999 Another commercial? Jake, come on. 618 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,002 You may know me as "Fuddruckers" Guy. 619 00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:58,538 And I'm Wing-Ding Kid. 620 00:23:58,539 --> 00:24:00,806 And you should check out our new collaboration... 621 00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:03,142 The new Uncle Jake's extra-large 622 00:24:03,143 --> 00:24:04,477 - Wing-Ding Pizza. - Wing ding! 623 00:24:04,478 --> 00:24:08,414 With bone-in chicken wings baked into the crust. 624 00:24:08,415 --> 00:24:10,616 - See that? - Yeah, just don't swallow the bones. 625 00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:12,818 Seriously, that disclaimer makes us exempt 626 00:24:12,819 --> 00:24:15,755 from any bullshit you try to bring. 627 00:24:15,756 --> 00:24:17,691 - Wing-dings! - Fuddruckers! 628 00:24:17,692 --> 00:24:20,359 - Wing-di-i-ings! - Fuddruckers! 629 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:21,561 You don't have to go further. 630 00:24:21,562 --> 00:24:23,697 - It's my ad. - Yeah, but my name is...- 631 00:24:23,698 --> 00:24:25,030 Just take your 50 bucks and get the fuck out of here. 632 00:24:25,031 --> 00:24:26,232 - It's $150. - No, it's not. 633 00:24:26,233 --> 00:24:28,101 Uncle Jake's Pizzeria. 634 00:24:28,102 --> 00:24:31,104 Not affiliated with Fuddruckers USA or any of its subsidiaries. 635 00:24:31,105 --> 00:24:32,871 Wind-breaking fucker. 49049

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