All language subtitles for Hell.Or.High.Seas.2021.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC5.1-[YTS.MX]

(wind starts blowing)

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(dramatic music starts)

- We all have a primal
connection to the sea.

We're drawn to it for
comfort, or out of fear.

For Taylor, I think it's where
he went to be born again.

I also believe that a part
of him went there to die.

(boat starts creaking)

(waves start to crash)

(music fades)

It's cold as hell.

(coughs)

Another storm's rolling in.

(thunder rumbles)

- Look at that, 12
Foot seas right now.

It's supposed to be picking up.

(boat continues
creaking and clattering)

Yeah, here we are.

Fuck it.

(dramatic music starts)

(thunder roars)

(birds chirp)

Centuries ago,

there was a story written about
a man coming home from war.

It's called the
Odyssey, by Homer.

It's one of my
biggest inspirations.

Odysseus spent 10
years at war overseas.

And at the end of it, Odysseus
took off on a sailboat

with a bunch of his
buds to get back home.

There's something
to be said about man

or woman on the water.

(waves crash)

Turn the engine off and
you can put up the sails

and you're connected to it all.

Your mind doesn't
think about anything

other than harnessing
the power of the wind.

- Taylor and I
met in high school

and we became close
friends on the swim team.

(whistle blows)

(water splashes)

His drive and stubbornness
was always getting us

into trouble growing up,
but that same tenacity is

what drove him to become Captain
of the varsity swim team,

despite failing his
freshman year tryouts.

Taylor came out for the team

and he just wasn't quite
fast enough, you know?

And I said, you're just
gonna get run over.

It's gonna be no fun. You're
not gonna be keeping up.

You've got the
heart, I can tell.

There's a club team over here,
where if you go swim with

the club, you can train with
a bunch of 11 and 12 year olds

'cause that's about
your speed, right now.

And so, he's like, okay.

And he went and did that.

And then, by his
senior year, he was

school record holder with the
400 freestyle, all-American.

That kid won't give up.

(laughs)

He won't give up on anything.

Taylor Grieger was my
go-to motivational story

every time I had to cut a kid.

I'm cutting you
now, but, you know,

put in the work, you
can be like that guy.

And I would point to
the board and I'd go,

see that name up
there on the board?

That's who I'm talking about.

And now he's a Navy
rescue swimmer.

(war sound effects)

- Taylor enlisted right
out of high school.

And I went into academia.

We lost touch for a while,

but we reconnected about
seven years later in Guam,

which is out in the middle
of the Pacific Ocean.

Taylor was stationed out there

and I went to do research for
a book that I was writing.

Taylor was getting out in a
few months and he didn't really

have anything lined
up for him back home,

but he did have this wild
dream to sail 10,000 miles

to the bottom of the
world, to around Cape Horn.

(waves crashing)

And Cape Horn is the
Mount Everest of sailing.

That was going to
be his Odyssey.

Even though I had no
sailing experience,

Taylor asked if I
would go with him.

And that was crazy. I had
no idea what to expect,

but I said yes.

This had the potential to be
the adventure of a lifetime.

But I also knew that
Taylor needed this.

He'd been diagnosed with PTSD
and he was having a rough time

transitioning out
of the military.

(radio crackles)

Taylor needed time and distance

to help process his
experiences in the Navy.

(a sharp ding sounds)

(music continues)

- I didn't that it was
gonna affect me that bad.

I didn't think I was going
to have a hard time with it,

but I did.

I would drive around in my truck

and my heart rate
started pumping.

I could feel my face heat up.

I would be shaken
and tense, you know,

like I was about
to get in a fight.

I'd start crying.

My emotions flooded out.

I wasn't in control of what
was happening to my body.

It would just happen
and I didn't know why.

- The way Taylor
will describe it.

It's like driving a
truck 70 miles an hour

and then slamming it
into a brick wall.

(music fades to a stop)

I heard a couple people

talk about suicide
before, you know, and, uh.

They're like, you know,
that's so selfish.

How could you do
something like that?

Everybody that cares about you,
you leave behind, you know?

I don't think what anybody
ever says out loud is,

I mean, those people,

I

was in so much pain.

You hurt all day.

And you see the
worst things that

you can see in this world,
every day of every second.

You know, everybody that
I pulled from the water,

everybody that had
lost their home,

and buddies that had
killed themselves.

I see them every day.

And when your body's run
away from you like that,

and it's trying to adjust into
a new climate and new pace,

and you're in that much pain.

You don't want to live
in this world anymore.

(waves crash)

Drank some tequila.
Drank a lot of tequila

and ended up driving
out to the beach.

(dramatic music starts)

I ended up putting
my Glock to my head

and pulled the trigger.

And it didn't go off.

I took the round out.
The firing pin went off.

There was a dent on
the back of the bullet.

It should have exploded.

And after that, all I
thought about was all the,

all my buds coming home
and feeling like that.

That's all I thought about, man.

I don't want them to feel
that alone, you know?

That they didn't
have another option.

So, I wanted to find a
way to give them an option

when they came back, you know?

I don't know why the
round didn't go off.

How I wasn't meant to
die then, you know? But,

I still think about
it all the time.

Why the fuck didn't
that bullet go off?

What am I still
doing here? You know?

Was it a second chance?

- I got here with a
dream that I've had

since I was a kid, man.

All I wanted to do was
sail around the world,

see everything it had to offer.

There's something more than

Texas. You know?
God bless Texas.

And now it's time to
get the ball rolling.

(mechanical grinding)

- Personally, this trip,
I've put everything into.

I'd put away money
for nine years,

closed out all my credit cards.

All of it's in the boat

We call our boat the Old Lady.

We named her that because we
needed her to take care of us

in the open ocean, but
she was also really old.

Taylor had bought her used and

worked on her tirelessly for
the better part of the year.

- Growing up, my grandpa, he
had a boat take me out on him.

And so, I understood
how boats worked.

But as far as the maintenance,
I didn't know anything.

And I can seriously only
credit that to YouTube.

After about 30 minutes,

the fiberglass is hard
enough to sand smooth.

- I went to YouTube academy,
learned it all there.

- And in this episode,
we're going to explore

the complexity of fuel
delivery and the Marine diesel.

(tools grinding)

Hours of YouTube.

Every single nut, screw,

bolt,

seam,

all of it, has
been placed by us.

Not only builds a special
bond we have with her.

We love this old lady.

But we're confident in, uh,

making sure she makes
it to keep warm.

- Our plan is to cast off
from Pensacola, Florida,

sail 10,000 nautical
miles, 200 days at sea,

to reach the Southern
most tip of South America,

the notorious Cape Horn.

Cape Horn harbor's the
most treacherous waters

on the planet.

It's where the Pacific and
Atlantic Oceans collide.

You get storms year round.

100 foot road waves

and Willa walls with
hurricane force winds.

But, the journey to Cape Horn

was going to be
the real challenge.

(waves crash)

(music fades to a stop)

(club music starts)

What's going on, bro?

(laughing)

Today's the day.

It is indeed.

(club music fades to a stop)

(dramatic music starts)

What's wrong with it?

(boat engine revs)

- We should have done more
to prepare for this journey.

Really, we should've done
it in a million dollar yacht

with a steel hull.
But, you know?

I think that's one of the
things you learn sailing.

That if you wait
until you're ready,

your boat will never
leave the Harbor.

I've thrown up twice, now.

That's how nervous I am. Never
happened before in my life.

- We recruited
Taylor's friend, Kell,

a fellow rescue swimmer,

to help us cross
the Gulf of Mexico.

He'd been on
deployments with Taylor

and they were stationed
together in Guam.

I'm proud of you guys.

Some people, they're like,
I have these great ideas.

But, most of the time,
people don't follow through.

Of course, anyone who follows
through looks crazy, man.

- The weather looks good. We
have a cold front coming down.

That's gonna give
us some weather,

but nothing you can't handle.

- I look forward to that
moment that we just set sail

cause I know that, as
soon as we're out there,

all the nerves are just
gonna get flushed out.

(music transitions from
dramatic to upbeat)

We're doing it.

- The opening to the Gulf
is right ahead of us.

Once we pass that,
we're in an open water,

heading for Mexico.

(waves crash)

It feels good.

You can just stare out at
the horizon as you do it.

I love being a sailor, man.

(laughing)

(music stops)

What's going on?

- Barometric
pressure is dropping.

We've got two huge
cumulonimbus clouds,

which isn't your
standard squall line.

Expecting a pretty
good storm tonight.

Not one of those hits
you and quits you types.

(wind roars)

Breaking news:

Hurricane Harvey barreling
into the Texas coastline

as a category four storm
with 130 mile an hour winds,

- - The strongest Atlantic
hurricane in 10 years.

- What's the game
plan for the storm?

Hold on to your butts.

- You're gonna sail
right through it?

Heck, you can't go anywhere.

There's nowhere to
go. Nowhere to go

out here in the
middle of nowhere.

We're fucked.

(thunder crashes)

(dramatic music starts)

- We're 400 miles from
shore in every direction

and we hit the
mother of all storms.

- I was looking
out at the horizon

and it was a wall of black,
we were going right into.

(thunder roars)

You're not outrunning
that storm.

- I was at the helm when the
front of the storm hit us.

And, immediately, the mast
was scraping the waves

that were rolling under us.

- There are waves
crashing all over the bow.

Flooding the railings.

- And there was no time to
put harnesses on or anything.

We were gonna lose the
boat in that instant.

I looked over at
Kell and I was like,

we gotta get that main down.

Put her into the wind!

Let's go!

(groans out of strain)

- In order to physically
pull the sail down,

I had to turn the
boat into the wind,

which was also into the swells.

And, right as I did that,

we went over the crest
of this massive wave.

The entire bow of
the boat submerged,

as we kind of crashed over it.

(waves crash)

We got hit by that wall
of water and it was like

getting punched in the gut.

- Water flooded over
the entire diping end.

And, when everything
kind of settled,

Taylor and Kell were gone.

I thought they'd just
been washed out to sea.

In a moment like that,
time just freezes

and your mind is
working so fast.

I thought I was just
completely alone on the boat,

but, by some miracle,

they had both managed to grab
a hold of lifelines as they

were being flung off the boat.

And just kind of like,
this intense moment,

they both rose up at
the exact same time.

(waves crash)

And then just continued
hammering away at that mainsail.

- It was a survival
storm, for us.

I really thought
we were gonna die.

- We battled storms on and
off for another three days,

after that one. I guess,
that's what is to be expected

if you're crossing
the Gulf of Mexico

in the middle of
hurricane season.

(music stops)

And we just kinda had
to push for Mexico.

- You're not prepared
for everything.

All you can do is
just take the storm

and keep on pushing through it.

The guys that come
home from overseas

face much larger
storms than we did.

They're going into a storm.
They're not prepared at all.

They have no idea what's coming.

(dramatic music starts)

When I was in,

I saw a lot of my buddies
getting out of military

and they were killing
themselves, you know?

And it was always like, why?

(waves crash)

- Sick and tired of seeing
all our friends die.

- While Taylor was
in the military,

I had been interviewing
combat veterans for my book.

I wanted to know why
more soldiers are

dying by suicide than in combat.

(helicopter whirring)

And what I discovered is that
most veterans are not prepared

for their transition
out of the military.

We spend a months,
sometimes years,

training these men and women
to protect our country.

And at the end of their service,

all they really get to
help them transition out

is a five day
course called TAPs.

And that's clearly not enough
to help prepare veterans

emotionally or physically
for when they return home.

Their mind and their
body need time to adjust.

- The horrible thing about
it is it's not intellectual.

It's purely physical.

I suspect it probably
just is endorphins

and adrenaline that
you don't have anymore.

It's like trying
to get off alcohol.

Your body wants it, even
though you know it's bad.

- I have to try every
day to remind myself

that I'm not a monster.

I did what I was trained to do.

I did everything right.

But, just the fact that I did
it, is haunting in of itself.

- I get stressed out. I
can feel it coming on.

I had one that, I got so
stressed, it's just instant.

And I woke up in my bathroom
covered in my own blood.

I've lost seven of the
boys I deployed with.

I miss those guys, man.

The funniest guys you
always wanted to be around

in the room.

They were infectious
and intelligent.

Guys that could have been
great for the States,

could have been
assets, you know?

This world is less than
without people like that in it.

And people like that are
dropping out of this world

every single day, dude.

And I'm never going to
stop thinking about 'em.

(music fades to a stop)

- That kid loves
with a huge heart.

Once you're in his family,

that guy will literally
lay down his life for you.

And, to him,

(dramatic music starts)

all the military
guys are his family.

I wanted to sail,

but more so, I wanted to make
sure that none of my buddies

getting out after me
killed themselves.

We'd decided, let's try

and make this bigger
than just ourselves.

How can we do this in
a way that can help

more people than just us?

So from day one, we to
kind of document this trip.

- To raise awareness,
to build a community,

to show other guys

that they're not the only
ones going through it.

- We set up a website and
social media pages for

Skeleton Crew Sailing,
so that friends, family,

and most importantly,
veterans, could follow along

with our journey and see
how Taylor was progressing.

- It's not the answer, but
it's a start, you know?

The start of a conversation
to say, you know?

We can fix this.

This kid pulls this off,

he's gonna change lives.
He's gonna change lives.

Not just his, but others'.

(music fades to a stop)

- How are you feeling
there, Taylor?

Alright, I see land.

(indistinct shouting)

(upbeat music starts)

- Look at that
beautiful sight, dude!

(water splashes)

- Arriving in Cancun, and
seeing land for the first time,

that was unlike anything.

We were alive.

We had undergone
a baptism by fire

and we had come out
stronger for it.

It was hard saying
goodbye to Kell.

He had helped to
train Taylor to become

a helicopter crew chief, but
when Kell's contract ended,

he chose to stay
in the military.

Kell saw a lot of the same
problems as Taylor in Guam,

but the military worked for him.

He only had a few weeks
leave for the whole year,

but he still flew down to
help us cross the Gulf.

- Seeing Kell leave, after
everything we'd been through,

that was rough.

It was awesome, having him
out here, having my back,

you know? Transitioning
into the civilian world.

He flew out here to
help us with this cause.

There we go.

- Then, watching
him get on a plane

and leave back into the
military, left Stephen and I,

true Skeleton Crew, out
here to battle the seas.

Yeah.

- We are currently rolling
into Belize City, right now,

at the sunrise.

That's pretty cool.

(birds chirping)

- You're the prettiest with
smelling pity in all the land.

This is how we live.

We don't want nothing
to be too extravagant.

We just want to live comfortably

and be free in what we're doing.

(water splashes)

- We really started to hit
our stride after Belize.

Taylor was at his
best, behind the helm.

And this trip, you know?

As a form of decompression
or transition,

it seemed to be working.

Even when storms hit,

which was pretty much every
single day down there,

Taylor would deal with it.

- There's a 50%
chance of rain today.

(laughing)

Might be a thunder
storm, might not.

(thunder roars)

- Navigating, we're about to
leave Belize City, right now.

We figured we deserve the
chance to anchor more off of

the Great Blue Hole. That's
where we're headed, right now.

It's awesome. You know?

It's on the top things
to do in the world.

- The Great Blue Hole
is this massive sinkhole

off the coast of Belize.

It's famous for having just
crystalline waters that plummet

into the deep, with amazing
fish and spectacular coral.

(music fades to a stop)

I'm pretty excited about it.

Stephen's pretty
excited about it.

We'll be there probably
tomorrow morning.

Right now, we're trying to
navigate these coral reefs.

It's a little dicey, but nothing
the Old Lady can't handle.

(boat creaks and beeps)

Oh, man.

Old Lady's pretty banged up.

And it all started
with us crashing into

some coral reef.

I was at the bow, supposed
to be guiding the boat,

we were riding the sun.

Just, all of a sudden, we were
in five foot water. You know?

We're sailing across
open ocean, you know?

And we've got holes in the boat.

Hi, man. How's it going?

Doing alright.

- Taylor's just kind of
been giving me, you know?

One word responses,

I feel kinda guilty for
fucking up the boat.

You know?

You holding up okay?

Yeah.

I mean, I'm just asking, dude.

You've been kinda quiet
the past few days.

So, I don't know, like?

Miss my dogs, dude,

out here in the middle
of these Goddamn storms.

(dramatic music starts)

- Here we are. Ocean
is unforgiving.

I think Stephen's definitely
starting to figure out that,

you make a mistake
out here, you die.

(waves crash)

While we were in Honduras,

we got bogged down on
the island of Roatán,

as two back-to-back tropical
depressions struck the island.

We'd been on shore that
night, drinking a little bit.

(chatter)

- I think Taylor just
lost his patience

with the whole scenario, but
it kind of got directed at me,

in that moment. And Taylor
said, if you don't stop talking,

I'm gonna punch you in the face.

But I had a point to make,

so I kept talking and, sure
enough, Taylor came at me.

(scuffling)

We scuffled a little bit.

And, I think, in
all of the storms

and everything
we'd been through,

that was one of the
scariest moments.

In that moment, when
you have somebody

who's been in the military
for the past six years

come at you, like?

What am I supposed to do?

(music fades to a stop)

After the fight, we went
back to the Old Lady

and we sat down and
we talked about it.

And I said, if
either of us swings

at each other again on
this voyage, it is over.

We're not gonna make
it around Cape Horn,

if we can't even
get along at shore.

And Taylor agreed.

My best friend in the world
punched me in the face

and that's alright.

What it comes down to is
when you make a bad call

or you say a bad thing
and uh, your true friends,

they'll always punch
you in the face,

whenever you say
something stupid.

And you can count on 'em for it.

Now, we're good, man.

(upbeat music starts)

(water splashes)

(birds chirp)

- We put the fight behind us
and continued on to Panama.

But, I don't think we
really grasped the extent

of the damage those storms
had done to the Old Lady.

Our engine seized about a
hundred miles off the coast of

Honduras and Nicaragua.

And there was nothing we
could do to fix it out there.

So we had to sail 600
miles straight to Panama,

which had the only
real repair facilities

on that side of Central America.

But, the thing about
sailing without an engine,

(music fades to a stop)

is you need wind.

(water splashes)

We hit a doldrums area,
where we went about a week,

where the only wind we
got was from squall lines.

And they'd push us maybe
like five or 10 miles,

and then the winds
would die again.

And we'd be left there rocking
for, usually, 12 hours.

(waves splash quietly)

Hello?

Where's your morale at?

Comes and goes.

Usually, it depends on
how caffeinated I am

and how much sleep I've had.

But, right now,
I'm going on about,

I had, three hours,
last night, and then,

I had maybe an hour and a
half, today, during the day.

But, still.

I'm pretty exhausted, man.

- Turned south and
seeing Panama, right now, at two hundred

and 60 miles to go.

No engine,

all sails,

all the power's out on the boat.

We use these lights to see at
night, if the moon's not out.

And our boats falling apart.

(laughs)

So, there's that.

(waves crash)

What saved us was a single
night of very light winds,

that pushed us, just enough,

to get us within shouting
distance of the coast of Panama.

(horn blares)

(water splashes)

And then we got towed in
by Shelter Bay Marina.

(upbeat music starts)

We hunkered down in Panama
to make some repairs.

(mechanical grinding)

And to ready the Old Lady for
the rough seas that lay ahead.

- The boat's not in
perfect shape, right now.

(mechanical grinding)

- We're going through the
Canal, here, tomorrow.

- Crossing the Panama Canal,
was something that Taylor

and I were both
really excited about.

It's one of the seven
wonders of the modern world.

And the Canal is a kind of
rite of passage for sailors.

But, for us, it was
our point of no return.

- Sailing this Old
Lady, you know?

Into the Flats, right now.

- Hello there, Old Lady, you
may proceed to the Flats.

(water splashes)

(indistinct chatter)

(laughing)

- We actually rafted-up next
to the British army's boat

and it's completely run by
active duty, British military.

Is it okay to come on board?

They welcomed us on their boat

and we immediately hit it off.

Had that connection.

(happy chatter and laughter)

The question came up:

what the hell are you
guys doing out here?

What are you? You know?
What are y'all about?

It was eye-opening
to hear their story.

They're required to send
a third of their unit on

an expedition: sailing,
hiking, camping, kayaking,

you know, you name it.

And one of the guys
was like, look, man,

the biggest deal is like, hey,

you gotta take care of
your guys physically,

but you gotta make sure
they're mentally stable

and they care about that
and that's a big deal.

And it's talked about

and they breed that
culture, you know?

You wanna be
healthy, in and out.

Four,

five,

six,

seven...

- - The whole time I was
talking to them, I was like,

what? Are you serious?

Like, this is real thing?

The United States doesn't
have any program like that.

Dealing with veteran's
suicides and homelessness

and alcoholic problems
is very reactionary.

You know? We react to it.

So, veterans are
killing themselves.

Okay. Well, maybe we need to
give 'em counseling, you know?

Veterans are homeless.

Well, maybe we need
to build them a home.

But, what happens
if you prevented it?

(dramatic music starts)

What happens if you
took care of guys

before they even
got to that point?

- You guys have a safe
journey, look after yourselves,

and congratulations again.

(indistinct chatter)

- I don't regret
serving this country.

I think everybody in some
capacity should work for the

country that they live in.

(indistinct chatter)

- So, being able to offer
myself for the country

that I grew up in,

I will always be
proud of. Always.

- Joined when I was 18
to be a rescue swimmer.

And the marketing campaign by
the military is so awesome,

you don't think about anything,
but actually saving people,

which is what I wanted to do.

Thought it would be pretty easy.

You'd be jumping in the water

and saving people
and call it a day.

But it's a lot
nastier than that.

80% of the calls that I got,
you didn't find anybody.

There wasn't anybody
left to bring home.

It wasn't out of the
ordinary to fly 13 hour days,

every day.

I mean, you're popping caffeine
pills just to stay awake.

So you can look at the water
and you're looking for a little

speck from the sky, you know?
And if you start dozing off,

you're not gonna see anything.

Couple months after I had
gotten out and settled back into

civilian society,

I didn't know how to handle
living at that slower pace.

(waves crash)

Yeah. The scariest moments
were whenever I was

in air conditioning, house,
with a roof over my head,

on a soft couch,

I was just sitting there and
adrenaline just started pumping

through my body
for no reason, man.

And I didn't know why.

And my body just ran away
uncontrollably from me.

- PTSD is post traumatic
stress disorder.

The kind of controversy
today is that

PTSD is not a disorder.

It's kind of a natural
reaction to being put

under loads of stress
over long periods of time.

So it has physical changes
on the brain and the body.

Chronic stress is when
more cortisol is released

to the body, than
can be absorbed.

Cortisol has been shown
to kill brain cells

and to reduce the volume
of areas of the brain,

like the prefrontal cortex
and the hippocampus.

And the hippocampus
deals with the emotions

like anger and fear.

And as the hippocampus shrinks,
your ability to overcome

the fight or flight
reaction dissolves.

I've been spending the
past five years of my life

interviewing and
researching combat veterans.

But something I didn't really
anticipate was Taylor's story,

really kind of grabbing me
by the throat a little bit,

because here was somebody
who was displaying a similar

kind of trauma in response
to some of his experiences.

And Taylor had never
been to combat.

- Out of my entire
out-processing or adjustment back into

the civilian world, he was
the first one that said,

this is what you can expect.

- He got out of the military
and nobody even mentioned PTSD.

His transition program, TAPs,
had nothing to do with that,

'cause he never was,
technically, in a combat zone despite,

Despite, you know, pulling
dead bodies out of the water.

Despite serving in
disaster relief missions.

And it was concerning to him
because he didn't know if

he was the strange one.

In a recent study that involved
over a million veterans,

so this is the height of the
Iraq and Afghanistan wars,

non-combat veterans
were more likely

to commit suicide
than combat veterans.

(water splashes)

Alright. Just crossed over.

Over from Panama to Columbia.

So, we're officially
in South America.

- After weeks of storms and
doldrums in the Caribbean,

it was nice to have
some steady sailing.

(water splashes)

- The change of pace from
what we were sailing through

two weeks ago to now, is unreal.

Now, we're out
here in dry weather

and the sun's always shining.
Neither of us could really

(laughs)

make anything of this.

We're not gonna question it.
You know what I'm saying?

- Alright. So, we are
currently in Columbia.

Taylor, say hi!

Yo, yo, yo!

(laughing)

Columbia is beautiful.

Shame people avoid it.

(rattling)

(indistinct mumbling)

- The Guard at the Coast
that's here told us that

only 10 sail boats arrived
in all of the year 2017.

Thank you so much, sir.

Bye.

Have a nice trip.

Thank you very much, man.

- Sailing the Colombian
coast took us longer

than we expected. The humbled
current was especially strong

and the headwinds
coming up from Ecuador

spun us around in circles.

- The wind's died on us a
lot, the water's like glass,

but Stephen and I are just

happy as can be.

We're going to keep moseying
along the coastline.

- We really didn't
mind the slower pace.

It was a great break
from the storms

and we did our best to enjoy it.

Yum!

Oh my God.

That's decent, dude.

Well done, sir.

Merry Christmas, dude.

Yeah, Merry Christmas.

- But as beautiful and pristine
as our experience of the

Columbian Coast was, it
came to us at a price.

(music becomes dramatic again)

(waves crash)

- The past couple nights,
we've had boats run up on us

in the middle of the night.

You can hear it coming
from miles away,

beating through the waves.

They come around and
they start circling you.

That's some scary stuff.

- I'd dealt with a lot
of pirates overseas

and I knew pirates
were in these waters.

They hit us after sunset.

- We saw the bow light of,
I presume, their mothership.

Saw a second light,
kinda come on

and realized it was a
spotlight, as you just get

this kind of beam sweeping
over the waterline.

When you're out on the water,
you see light like a needle.

And the most eerie
thing that happened was:

the spotlight went out and
then the bow-light went out,

back-to-back.

And then you just heard an
outboard engine roar to life.

(engine roars)

At that point, they sent out
a skiff to come chase us down.

We're just sitting ducks
at this point, right?

'Cause it was clear
skies, the moon was full.

So, our sails are glowing
like a beacon of light

for these pirates.

We're hearing them come.
We're hearing them come.

And I changed my direction,
maybe like 90 degrees

and it wasn't catching
the light as much.

The moon was bright
enough to see the glint of

the metal machetes
on their boat.

- As soon as the skiff was
getting right next to us,

the first, like, line of cloud
covers went over the moon

and it just got dark, and I
immediately changed course,

you know? And heard the
boat kind of zoom past us.

And then I heard it doing, like,

a spiraling search
pattern behind us.

And that's when the rain
just started pouring down.

And the wind picked up,
so we started, like,

really cruising. And it
was the happiest I think

I've ever been in my
life to be in a storm.

(laughs)

(waves crash)

- Seas are getting
bigger, steadily.

And we're holding about
7.4 knots, which is

one of the fastest speeds
we've done this entire trip.

So, to actually have the
Old Lady flying again is

it's a good feeling.

- With the pirates behind
us and wind in our sails,

we were finally able
to point our bow south.

And reaching the equator
was another milestone,

but we were still less
than halfway to Cape Horn.

- Woo! Just like that.
The Southern Hemisphere.

Make our way to Ecuador
which we're really

looking forward to
'cause there are

a couple repairs
we need to make.

- Our starter at burnt-out,
back in the Caribbean,

but we had a replacement
shipped to us in Panama.

We were excited
about not having to

hot-wire our engine anymore.
Especially if we're going to be

battling the waves
around Cape Horn.

Key is: don't shock yourself.

(engine sputters and revs up)

Every time!

(laughing)

- So, now we're in Bahia
de Caraquez, in Ecuador.

Gonna be here for a week.

We gotta put the starter
we got from Panama in.

And then provision
for our next leg,

probably through Peru

and then down to Chile.

So, should be a
quick little stop

and, we're up outta here.

(tools clicking)

What a pain in my ass.

(sighs of frustration)

I don't know what
we're going to do, now.

(music stops)

Been putting on and taking
off the wrong starter.

We ordered the right one,
had the right ones shipped,

but somehow the wrong model
got put into this box.

700 bucks down the drain.

(dramatic music starts)

So, that's that, we're
stuck in Ecuador.

We reordered the starter,

but it took over a
month to clear customs.

And I was worried about Taylor
being landlocked and stuck at

that slower pace for weeks

being holed up tended to
make things worse for him.

Thankfully, there's always work
to be done on the Old Lady.

(spray paint can
rattles and hisses)

- It's a fight. It's stressful
to try and stay positive.

You know? Some days really
hard to believe that

what you're doing
is the right thing.

I question myself all the time.

Am I actually doing
something here?

Is everything that I've
given, gonna change anything?

(notification alerts beep)

- We were always
grateful when we could

connect to the internet.

It made us feel useful to the
people we were trying to help.

You know? One minute it
would bring us stories of

their struggle and pain
that we could relate to.

And, then the next,

it was delivering us
some really great news.

(notification alerts beep)

(clattering)

Yeah, boy! It's Old Lady.

- We knew that we could
never ask anyone to join us.

The risks were far too
great, but John offered.

- So, here you are,
man, Bahia de Caraquez.

What do you think
of the Old Lady?

It's kinda

not what I expected.

Why? In what sense?

It's smaller.

(laughing)

- John was a friend of
Taylor's from the Navy.

He wanted to help us in our
final push for Cape Horn

and he'd just left the military.

He'd only been on terminal
leave for two weeks.

- It's gonna make cruising
a night and day difference

for us. Here, having
John, you know?

- I hope so. 'Cause all
I wanna do is help out.

- - Yeah.

- John's help was going
to be huge for us in the

South Pacific. But, we
also knew that John was

having a tough time
adjusting to civilian life.

(water splashes)

He's experiencing the same
challenges that Taylor did upon

leaving the Navy.

And, so we really hope this
trip would help him too.

Woo!

- So you kinda
sent us a message,

but why don't you
kinda explain, like,

why did you want to
come on this trip?

Uh.

See, towards the end, I was
in a pretty rough place, so.

Two and a half weeks before
I started terminal leave,

before where I'm at
now. Before I went home.

Uh, yeah. I,

I, uh,

I had a nervous breakdown.

Sorry, guys.

You're good, man.

- - It's all good.

- - Take your time. Yeah.

I was suicidal, um.

And I,

I went to Medical the next day.

Excuse me.

Walked into the
mental health clinic

and they sat me down,

gave me this huge questionnaire,
turned it in, and,

you know, an hour passed
by, two hours passed by.

Commander's in now, she's
gonna see you in a little bit.

Hey, no worries. Just
tryna talk to someone.

Just trying to get, you know?

The right steps, the
right tools to fix myself.

It came about five
o'clock in the evening

and a Corpsman came back down
and said, hey, I'm sorry.

She doesn't wanna see you.

You need to go somewhere
else. I was like, where?

Fleet and Family?

Where? She was like, no.

She said for you
to wait for the VA.

I said, I'm still active duty.
I don't need to go to the VA.

I'm still active duty for
another two and a half months

from now.

And she said, well you
only have a few weeks left

until you're on terminal
leave. And then,

you're pretty much
the VA's problem.

So, I just laughed.
I just laughed.

I just said, that's,
alright, well,

my life's falling apart now, so.

You know? What can you do?

- Yeah, that's some
fucking bullshit, dude.

- I'm glad that
you're here with us

because doing that shit alone,

that hurts. You know?

Yeah, it does.

- So, we've been
here for two months.

Were planning on
being here for a week

and then today's the
day she's going in.

Freaking pumped. I'm excited.

I'm trying to make
myself calm right now.

So I don't mess this up and
break this brand new one.

- Don't mess this up.
Don't mess this up.

(tools clatter)

(machinery clicks)

Alright, give it.

(engine roars and rattles)

Oh, man. She sounds good.

That's awesome.

Alright, cast off.

We're going!

- John brought a much needed
second wind to our crew.

Hi.

Living in close quarters,
John, is nothing new to you.

Just a refresher: keep all
your shit in your space.

If not, it's going overboard.

- The plan was to sail 200
miles off shore to skip Peru

and to avoid
getting caught up in

the Humboldt Current again.

Taylor predicted we'd
reached Valparaiso, Chile,

after about three weeks at sea.

That would make this our longest
stretch of sailing to date.

- We have a long
leg ahead of us.

Right now is all about
managing the nerves. Pumped.

I'm just worried about the boat.

I hope nothing breaks on
her, while we're out there.

- We're out here in
the middle of nowhere.

You feel like a civilian?

Oh, yeah. I guess so.

It's kinda a really
weird period for me...

- - The longer we were at sea,

the more I'd find Taylor
and John at the helm,

swapping stories from
their deployments

(music stops)

and sharing their experiences
of leaving the military.

- - Sailor for life.

- Six years and nine
months of my life.

Proud of it and why I did it.

I wouldn't have
Taylor, or my buds.

It's definitely been weird.

Yesterday was my last
day of terminal leave.

So, technically out of
the Navy, April 5th.

That first week seemed
like it was never ending.

- - Yeah. You're running
on. You're running on.

Go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go.

- - Yeah.

- - And then you're out.

And then you driving around
getting pissed off in traffic,

like, what the hell
is going on right now?

- Getting to talk
with him and tell him

what it was like for me when
I was going out, you know?

And we'd compare
stories. I'm like, dude,

I've had the same feeling. You
know? That was really cool.

I wish I could have that
talk with all the guys.

- And I know that
this isn't who I am.

And I'm trying to get
back to, I want to,

I want so badly to
be that person again,

you know, be happy, or
be better than I was.

Yeah. Yeah.

- That's what the last
two and a half weeks

have been for me.

Every night, every day,
it gets a little easier.

- It's definitely
looking up for you.

(engine rattling)

(dramatic music starts)

(mechanical whirring)

The engine broke down.

We opened up the transmission.

Found the flywheel
completely dissembled.

Oh, man. Here we are,

a little over a hundred
nautical miles off shore.

Transmission decided to take
a little walk about on us.

We're sailing now.
How's it feel?

(laughing)

So, right now, we're about 120
miles, 130 miles from shore,

according to the chart.

We'll push for a week because
we have the stores to do that.

And then that gives
us three weeks

to make it back in to land.

(waves crash)

How's the day been?

- Pretty rough,
pretty heavy seas,

swells are pretty big.

I don't think anybody's
really gotten any sleep.

- To top it all off, we are
currently being swept out to sea

by the Humboldt Current.

We're about 500
miles off the coast.

30 minutes, we'll be
crossing into Chilean waters.

And we are

670 nautical miles
off shore, right now.

A little over two weeks at sea.

Days have definitely
all blended together.

- Every time the
wind dies, you know?

You have no idea how
long it's gonna last.

Is it gonna be an hour?
Is it gonna be a day?

Or a week?

Your mind wants to go
places that aren't,

necessarily, helpful to anybody.

All we can do is wait. You know?

- Spirits aren't as
high as they usually are

on the Old Lady.

The water tanks are deplete.

So, we run off of
five gallon jugs.

- We're pretty low
on food right now.

We're down to just
a few cans left.

Going through,

We're going through
some hunger pains.

- We didn't know how long
we were gonna be out there.

And we were just watching
everything rot out on the boat.

So, we were really
just wondering if we were gonna make it.

(whooshing)

Fire, fire, fire, fire!

(fire extinguisher hisses)

(fire crackles)

(music fades to a stop)

(waves roll)

Boat's leaking,

transmissions out, caught
on fire last night.

It's time to call it.

We're pushing our luck. This
boat's not gonna make it.

We can go to Valapariso to
make repairs on the boat.

See if we can sell
her down there.

I mean? Last night,

all I saw was the sparks
catching all our diesel,

and then us blowing up.

We coulda had us die, and
that was my fault, so.

We're not doing that anymore.
It's time to go home.

(winds rages)

(birds chirping)

Here we are. We're off.

- Alright. Get on the helm.
Let's get the hell outta here.

- Taylor shouldn't have
sailed for Valdivia.

The Old Lady was
falling to pieces

and in no state to
be on the open ocean.

He had kicked John
and I off the boat

because it wasn't safe.

But, you know?

Taylor was in a really
rough place at that time.

Another one of his
buddies back home

had just killed himself.

And on top of that, we
were completely broke

and nothing seemed to
be getting any better.

But I think Taylor kept
going because he had to.

There we go. Woo!

I'm nervous as hell, right now.

I feel so damn sick, right now.

My God, I might
actually throw up.

Body's shaking.

Oh, fuck me.

See how it goes.

(dramatic music starts)

First full day at sea.

Check that in the box.

These seas are rough,
very rough, right now.

All the nerves from
yesterday are gone.

I love being out here.

(winds roar)

Yeah, here we are.

It's cold as hell.

(coughing)

Another storm's rolling in.

I'm looking at 12
foot seas right now.

It's supposed to be picking up.

Fuck it.

It's beautiful morning
out here, my God.

I've got hundreds of these birds
flying all around the boat.

Coo! Coo!

I'm a bird too!

(cheering)

The cold just eats at
your soul out here.

Part of me wants to keep on
going to Cape Horn right now.

You know?

Every inch of me wants to
just not go in to Valdivia

and go on to Cape
Horn right now.

I just keep thinking about
how all the boys are tired.

I'm gonna find a pot of gold!

Have you ever sailed
through a rainbow before?

(cheering)

(wind roars)

The anchor fell
off the bowsprit.

I was up there bent over the
bow, hanging off the edge,

trying to get the
anchor back on deck.

The boat took a nose dive
right in the bottom of a wave.

Ate it.

It completely sucked.

Thought I was going overboard.

(horn blares)

- Alas! You have crossed into
King Neptune's territory!

(horn blares)

(music becomes upbeat)

What can you do?

Damn, I hate that
saying: what can you do?

You can get off
your ass and you can

fucking do something about
it. That's what you can do.

If I go home and another one
of my friends kills himself

while I'm not out here
doing something about it,

it's gonna eat me up.

Made it.

Land's in sight.

Last time I got some sleep
was about two nights ago.

I can't stop smiling.
It's cool to see land.

With everything me and the
Old Lady have been through,

it's time for a break.

Alright.

So.

It doesn't make
me feel any better

about leaving the Old Lady here,

but when you're all at
options, it's all folks.

- A mutual love for water that
started on their high school

swim team, has taken two
college station men on a sailing

mission halfway
around the world.

- We're excited right now to
talk a little sailing with

Stephen O'Shay and
Taylor Grieger in the middle of one heck

of an adventure and a
story worth sharing.

- Their journey doubled
as a mission for veterans.

- Too many veterans
have taken their lives.

We're sailing the most
dangerous waters in the world

to bring awareness to what's
going on in the States.

- You wanted to do this
adventure and then come back

and then tell the story. But,
that's not what happened.

- The boat needs
some major repairs.

- We've finished, basically,
90% of the journey so far.

And, so we're trying
to raise money just to

finish this last bit.

And that's why we started
our Kickstarter campaign.

- So, you're raising awareness
and people can help you out.

They can go to your website
and help donate and learn more

and get involved.

- We're tryna make this
as big as possible.

We can sit here all day

and talk about what's
being done for veterans,

but we can talk
so much more about

what isn't being
done for veterans.

- Every day, suicide
claims the lives of

more than 20 veterans.

- What do you want our
listeners to move forward in,

if they are really feeling
compelled by this cause?

- I think policy change
is a big one, you know?

And there needs to be programs

to let veterans decompress
when they get back.

We're gonna make sure nobody
getting out of the military

is wondering what's
going on with his body.

- If you're so moved, support
what they have going on.

- And raise awareness for
what millions of Americans

deal with having gone and
fought for our country.

- There's an end to the
storm that you're doing.

(rattling)

Just like we left her.

(laughing)

There's no mold.

Alright!

So, that's good

- - That's a start.

- - Fricking pumped.
I'm freaking excited.

- Yeah. Still
cleaning up the ashes.

(rumbling)

- The attitude that we have
now, as opposed to when we left,

is night and day difference.

We're holed up.

- We're so stoked, I even
bought little hand towels.

(laughing)

It's gonna look good.

Johnny boy made it.

- So, John just got in, today.
After 59 hours of travel.

Excited to be back,

I missed the old girl.

So, this is where
we'll be coming in.

Uh huh. That's the goal.

It's what we've been working
on for two years, now.

Here we are. At the doorstep.

(indistinct chatter)

- It's kinda surreal,
still, you know?

Feels fricking good, man.

The salt running
on your skin again?

Salty sailors, again?

God, all of it, man.

Whenever I left,

I was scared there wouldn't
be a chance we'd come back.

You know? We didn't
have a dime to our name

or any way to keep
this thing going,

but to be motoring
out of the same river

that I motored up
defeated, feels awesome.

(waves crash)

(music stops)

(coughing)

Goddamn! Goddamn!

First time being
seasick in my life.

Pray to the big man, hopefully
it's gonna happen again.

Yeah.

It's just the beginning, so.

Nice set of swells, right now.

About 20 foot seas,
on average, right now.

They're about 15, 20
feet, 30, 40 last wind.

It's been pretty crazy.

(indistinct shouting)

I was done last night.

It might have been
the seas we were in,

my body just was like,
alright, I'm resting.

I feel it today, for sure.

That's what I tell
everybody on land.

They're like, what's
the hardest thing?

I was like, dude, the
hardest thing is stopping

and starting. Is going
on land for three weeks

and then you come back and
your hands are just soft

and the muscles just,
you know, deep linked

from pulling lines and
holding on to the boat

'cause all your stabilizer
muscles work all day long.

So, for those not to be
worked for three months,

we're all feeling it right now.

It's pretty chilly out here.

Where it's pretty
big seas, right now.

It's really cold on the
water, out in the Pacific.

All that water is coming
up from Antarctica

and then all the winds
as well, so it's chilly.

- You know, I was always
kind of uncomfortable,

but it becomes the new normal.

Right now, it's not too bad.

We've her, like, up to here.

Whew! The Old
Lady, she's a tank,

but she's not known for her,

- - Her elegance.

Her elegance. Yeah.

(laughing)

- It's good to be back in it.
It's what I came out here for.

To kick ass.

Now, we're gonna
get a little wet.

We're gonna have some
fun, while we're at it.

(dramatic music starts)

- We've been out on the
water for three days, now.

And it's been intense.

It's pretty much
what we expected.

Just that for me personally,
I'm just trying to be here.

You know? Not trying to let
my mind go off anywhere else.

- The swells were rolling in
behind us and breaking over us.

When the wind is that
strong, you know?

It's just like PHEW!
Just blowing everything to smithereens.

We were kinda sitting ducks
for these waves that were just,

like, plowing into the boat.

It was a roller coaster.

(wind roars)

(waves crash)

The wind was so strong
that the block holding

our spinnaker pole shattered.

And the pole started
slamming round

and we needed to
fix it right away,

or we'd risk losing
our headsail.

And being in those seas without
a headsail, hey, I mean?

That would've been
a death sentence.

- We gotta take care
of the Old Lady.

She takes care of us, the
world keeps going 'round.

What's gonna have to happen is:

we're gonna have
to go up the mast,

secure the spinnaker pole.

It's only gonna get
worse from here, so

we're gonna do it, gonna do
it right, gotta do it now.

(intensity of music picks up)

(waves crash)

(indistinct shouting)

Oh! Big wave! Hang up, buddy!

(crashing and clattering)

Oh! Fuck!

(waves crash)

Okay!

Holy shit, we're alive.

(cheering and laughing)

- We close our eyes
and pray and Taylor

pulls off some kind of miracle.

I'm not doing it again!

(laughter and cheering)

I can't believe that happened!

(laughter and
cheering continues)

- You know? there have been
these terrifying moments.

But, not only do you
feel completely alive,

but you also feel more
competent, like, you've pushed

beyond the limits of what
you thought you could handle

and you came out
on the other side.

(laughing)

(music stops)

The last three or four days,

I have had a smile
on my face, nonstop.

You guys have seen it, eh?

Once in a lifetime.

It's so cool.

- Dude. We went through
hell getting here.

Like, we earned it.

And I don't think I'd be able
to appreciate this moment,

if it was smooth sailing
all the way down here.

It's just been a

progressive year for me,
and for all of us, man.

Started off really fucking
alone. Come a long way.

- We didn't plan on sailing
into the Magellan Strait.

It's about 200 miles from
Cape Horn and the canals

and waterways pointing south
from there can be treacherous.

But, once we saw the raw

and unbelievable
beauty of Patagonia,

we couldn't turn away.

(upbeat gospel music starts)

One hell of a view.

(music becomes more dramatic)

What is going on right now?

Man, we're sailed into glaciers.

It's incredible. It's amazing.

Sights that a handful
of people have ever seen

in this world.

I feel like a kid.

(laughing and cheering)

I wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for

that lowest moment in my life,

I wouldn't be chasing these
things because you really

realize how fragile
this world is.

And, so when you come back
from something like that,

you don't let anything stop you.

And you chase everything
you can in this world

because you're alive in it.

(music fades to a stop)

Merry Christmas, homies.

(cheering)

- We reached Puerto
Williams! Merry Christmas.

(engine rumbles)

Feels unreal being down here.

Everything we've been
through, where we left from.

Now we're sitting at the
doorway, you know? Right there.

- Alright. We just got
to Puerto Williams,

but it looks like we've got
a weather window to shoot

around Cape Hore. So, we're
gonna try and take it.

It's on, baby.

It's Cape Horn day, man.

It's Cape Horn day.

Oh, boy.

- How's that water
look for Cape Horn?

- It's looks good. It
really does look good.

(horn blares)

- Haven't had water this
flat since we got here.

- Makes me nervous. It's
too good to be true.

Much to good to be true.

(upbeat music starts)

Port, stern's up.

All bow lines are up.

The Old Lady's ready to rip.

Have a good trip there.

Alright, guys.

Bye.

Thanks. Safe travels, guys.

My hands are shaking.

My heart's racing.

- How often does the weather
window like this come down?

- Maybe twice a
season, twice a season,

we get a weather
window like this.

- At the end of the
day, it's Cape Horn.

So, the weather is
very unpredictable.

It's anybody's guess, what
mother nature throws at us,

once we get out there.

Say a prayer, John?

God be with us.

- We're between South America
and Antarctica, right now.

(laughs)

Which is pretty sweet.

This was a huge moment.

I'm not letting myself run
away until we get to Cape Horn.

(music stops)

- The wind's picking
up a little bit, so

choppy seas.

- This weather's
all over the place.

(thunder roars)

Damn, man.

I was fucking hoping for
sunny skies and calm seas.

Was looking like that all day.

- Now we're healing over 50
degrees, 35 knots of wind.

10 foot seas,

- - and rising.

All in a matter of 10 minutes.

- Exactly what we were
trying to avoid. You know?

You look at all the
weather windows,

you talk to all
the other cruisers.

We might not even be able
to see it now, you know?

Cape Horn is right there.

They can't even see us yet.

(indistinct mumbling)

One fucking break.

- It's our entire
expedition trip.

Every time we've
been on the water.

I don't know, you cranky?

- Yes, you do
everything you can.

And you get fucked.

Every fucking time.

I wanted this day to be for
all those dudes who came back,

fought every fucking day,
fucking hurt every fucking day.

Maybe they could see that
we'd get a fucking break.

Fucking broke my heart, man.

My career is dead, dude.

Ugh! I fucked up.
It's my fault, man.

Oh, you can almost.

Oh! You can see her!

Man, you can see Cape Horn!

(horn blares)

(upbeat music starts)

- It's clearing up. This
must be clearing up.

(cheering)

Cape fucking Horn.

(horn blares)

(laughing)

Oh! Fuck, yes, you can.

- Well, boys. This is when
Captain Grieg eats his words.

It's like God gave
us a break after all.

(laughing)

Alright, so. The flag here,

it's a thoughts forever flag.

Oh, man. In the heart quick.

- This flag was given to Taylor
by his friend, Mac, a doctor

who did critical care medical
transports in the air force.

Mac carried this flag on a
mission out of Afghanistan on

veterans day in 2007,

with three critically
wounded soldiers

and seven flag draped caskets.

I want us fly this flag,

it's to honor a

good friend Master
Sergeant Beret,

who committed suicide, so.

We're gonna fly his flag.

Yup, we're gonna fly
his flag on Cape Horn.

Hopefully to

do our part and to

show honor to our members,
for all their closest

that were stripped.

(indistinct chatter)

- It's about his
family, given family,

(indistinct muttering)

Everything we've been
through the past three years,

we did for them.

So, what am I up to now?

I'm really enjoying spending
time with my family.

I have a really great
relationship with my bride, Samantha,

and we've got a baby
girl on the way.

So, that's really cool.

She's going to be
an awesome sailor.

I use the old GI bill to pay
the bills for the apartment,

which is nice.

It's a good way to get on
your feet by figuring out,

you know, what you want to do.

I do currently go to
Tech St in Galveston

and I've started a new business
to fund veteran expeditions.

I think there's two things
I'm great at in this world

and that's sailing and tequila.

So, how do we use that
for sailing expeditions?

You create the best keel on
the world to ultimately fund

these expeditions.

I have a fleet of boats
with licensed captains,

you take 15 guys on the boat

and you take mental
health professionals.

You create a life-changing
experience for everybody.

If I could get those
guys on the water,

I think it gives them a
different perspective.

(waves crash)

(cheering)

You feel alive, out here
on the water. You know?

You're a part of it all.
You're working with the winds,

you're working with
water, you know?

She beats you down,
but, at the same time,

she rewards you, when
the sun comes out.

And it's just a ray of sunlight
coming out over a glacier.

This is my next Cape Horn.

(music continues)

(music fades)