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1
00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,266
and may containmature subject matter.
2
00:00:06,266 --> 00:00:13,066
Viewer discretionis advised.
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00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,800
-What are you, on crack?!
and may containmature subject matter.
4
00:00:14,934 --> 00:00:17,433
How could you think
we have different dads?
5
00:00:17,567 --> 00:00:19,433
-It explains so much!
6
00:00:19,567 --> 00:00:20,934
Like why we don't look related,
7
00:00:21,066 --> 00:00:22,667
why we're into
vastly different things,
8
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:24,600
why mom never talked
about him... ever.
9
00:00:24,734 --> 00:00:26,133
-Yes, she did!
10
00:00:26,266 --> 00:00:28,266
She said he was a deadbeat drunk
who finished after two thrusts.
11
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,300
-Oh right. God, she shared
way too much when she drank.
12
00:00:31,433 --> 00:00:33,967
-I can't believe you don't think
we're real brothers!
13
00:00:34,100 --> 00:00:36,300
-Uh, that's not what different
dads means!
14
00:00:36,433 --> 00:00:38,300
-Whatever, man!
Quit distracting me.
15
00:00:38,433 --> 00:00:39,800
I'm trying to drive here, okay!
16
00:00:39,934 --> 00:00:41,300
(bang)
17
00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:44,033
I hit something, didn't I?
-Totally hit a guy.
18
00:00:44,166 --> 00:00:46,033
-See what happens
when you distract me?
19
00:00:46,166 --> 00:00:48,033
(beeping, bang)
20
00:00:48,166 --> 00:00:52,300
(apocalyptic music)
21
00:00:55,834 --> 00:00:58,133
(theme music)
22
00:01:16,266 --> 00:01:18,000
(growling)
23
00:01:23,800 --> 00:01:26,900
-Where'd you put
the reusable shopping bags?
24
00:01:27,033 --> 00:01:28,900
Danika keeps bugging
us to use them.
25
00:01:29,033 --> 00:01:30,700
"Just because
it's the apocalypse,
26
00:01:30,834 --> 00:01:32,400
it doesn't mean
we can't be ecoconscious."
27
00:01:32,533 --> 00:01:34,266
Ugh, shoot me now!
28
00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:36,767
(coughing)
29
00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:39,700
-Give this to General Hecks...
30
00:01:39,834 --> 00:01:43,834
Mutation cure... Please...
31
00:01:43,967 --> 00:01:45,867
-He's still alive?!
32
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,633
I guess we better help
the poor guy.
33
00:01:47,767 --> 00:01:49,867
Dude, can we drop you somewhere?
34
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,066
(mumbling)
35
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,633
You don't have to kill
the poor guy, you psycho!
36
00:01:54,767 --> 00:01:56,800
-Don't call me a psycho. I'm
putting him out of his misery.
37
00:01:56,934 --> 00:01:59,834
-Have a heart, will you?
He can totally bounce back.
38
00:02:02,567 --> 00:02:04,367
Okay, maybe not...
39
00:02:05,367 --> 00:02:08,066
What is that? Let me see it.
40
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:12,667
Here. You keep this.
I'll keep the necklace.
41
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,266
I need some bling
other than my look.
42
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,834
-He said something about
this thing curing mutations.
43
00:02:16,967 --> 00:02:18,633
-Really? 'Cause it didn't do
shit for him.
44
00:02:18,767 --> 00:02:20,900
-He said to give it to a...
General Hecks.
45
00:02:21,033 --> 00:02:22,600
-I don't know who that is.
46
00:02:22,734 --> 00:02:24,700
But we went halfsies and there's
no going back on halfsies.
47
00:02:24,834 --> 00:02:26,200
Them's the rules.
48
00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:28,066
-Rafe, stop and think
for once in your life!
49
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,834
Do you know how valuable
a mutation cure could be?
50
00:02:30,967 --> 00:02:33,066
-Dude, he was trying
to bribe you
51
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,367
so you wouldn't put him out of
his misery, a.k.a. murder him.
52
00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:39,100
-Give it back or so help me,
I'll...
53
00:02:39,233 --> 00:02:41,767
-Get over yourself, Gabe!
54
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,734
There's no cure
for mutations, okay?
55
00:02:43,867 --> 00:02:45,900
Stop having delusions
of granules.
56
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,433
-Grandeur. And I'm not.
57
00:02:47,567 --> 00:02:49,166
-Whatever, man!
I'm keeping this.
58
00:02:49,300 --> 00:02:51,000
If you don't like it,
you can suck it.
59
00:02:51,133 --> 00:02:53,734
-Suck a...
(gibberish)
60
00:02:53,867 --> 00:02:57,867
(screaming)
61
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:02,734
-Ow!
62
00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:06,367
You drew first blood! Ah!
63
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,834
I hope that knocked
some sense into you!
64
00:03:14,967 --> 00:03:16,333
I'm gonna go scavenging.
65
00:03:16,467 --> 00:03:19,700
You can join me once you stop
being a limp-dick man-baby.
66
00:03:19,834 --> 00:03:21,533
(groaning)
67
00:03:21,667 --> 00:03:23,166
(barking)
68
00:03:27,567 --> 00:03:31,333
-Gabe, how you doing? Ouch!
Not good by the looks of it.
69
00:03:31,467 --> 00:03:33,333
I bet I should see
the other guy.
70
00:03:33,467 --> 00:03:36,000
-Rafe's the other guy and
he's fine. What happened to you?
71
00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,000
-Got into a sticky situation,
so I had to fake my own death.
72
00:03:39,133 --> 00:03:41,834
Again. Car explosion.
Works every time.
73
00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:44,700
Hey, did you happen to see
a guy here? A mutant?
74
00:03:44,834 --> 00:03:46,333
I was supposed to meet him.
75
00:03:46,467 --> 00:03:48,367
-Er... Um... No..?
76
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:51,600
-Dammit! Well, I better scoot!
-Um, need a ride?
77
00:03:51,734 --> 00:03:54,233
-Matter of fact, I do.
78
00:03:55,333 --> 00:03:59,200
-Gabe, wait!
I forgot the reusable bags!
79
00:04:01,500 --> 00:04:04,200
-This is so cool!
Hanging with Mr. Cobretti!
80
00:04:04,333 --> 00:04:06,633
-Call me... Johndoe.
81
00:04:06,767 --> 00:04:08,533
-Of course. Sorry.
82
00:04:08,667 --> 00:04:10,734
Um, so... What were you meeting
that guy for?
83
00:04:10,867 --> 00:04:13,967
-Well, kid, I could tell you.
But then, I'd have to kill you.
84
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,867
-What?!
-I'm kidding.
85
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,800
But it's, uh, classified.
-Oh... I see.
86
00:04:18,934 --> 00:04:21,934
-Turn here.
It's like we're a team!
87
00:04:22,066 --> 00:04:25,100
What should we call ourselves?
A combination of our names?
88
00:04:25,233 --> 00:04:27,800
"The Burn-brettis"
or "The Gaydoes"?
89
00:04:27,934 --> 00:04:29,500
-Sure!
90
00:04:29,633 --> 00:04:32,900
And we'll get jackets with the
name stitched across the back.
91
00:04:33,033 --> 00:04:34,600
-Really?
-No, I'm screwing with you.
92
00:04:34,734 --> 00:04:36,900
Cool team jackets will get you
killed out here.
93
00:04:37,033 --> 00:04:40,900
Wastelanders are real dicks
about stuff like that.
94
00:04:41,033 --> 00:04:43,300
(screeching)
95
00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:44,800
-Wow!
96
00:04:44,934 --> 00:04:47,667
(thunder)
97
00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:07,033
-Thanks for the ride, kid!
98
00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:09,100
And I hope you
and Rafe patch things up.
99
00:05:09,233 --> 00:05:11,467
-Ah, screw him!
-Fair enough.
100
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,967
You can head out now.
101
00:05:13,100 --> 00:05:15,266
You don't want to be anywhere
near this place. Ciao!
102
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,233
-Oh!
103
00:05:24,433 --> 00:05:27,266
-There's my big guy!
How was the supply run?
104
00:05:28,266 --> 00:05:30,533
To hell with the pleasantries,
105
00:05:30,667 --> 00:05:32,834
give me my toe socks
and personal lubricant, dammit.
106
00:05:32,967 --> 00:05:34,467
-I don't have anything!
107
00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:37,600
(sobbing)
108
00:05:37,734 --> 00:05:39,967
-You okay, Rafe?
109
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:42,667
-Sorry. I just...
Gabe's being weird.
110
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,700
He's not making any sense. Like
a non-slutty Halloween costume.
111
00:05:45,834 --> 00:05:48,500
-Oh! Let Auntie Suzette
buy you a drink?
112
00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:50,000
-Give me a break.
113
00:05:50,133 --> 00:05:51,600
One drink and you'll have
your hand down my pants.
114
00:05:51,734 --> 00:05:53,166
-I just meant
so we could talk.
115
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:55,633
-Every time we talk,
you touch me inappropriately.
116
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:57,900
Which I don't really mind,
but you're married!
117
00:05:58,033 --> 00:05:59,900
-Hands to myself. Promise.
118
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:01,467
-I don't know.
119
00:06:01,600 --> 00:06:03,433
I'm not really comfortable
talking about my feelings and...
120
00:06:03,567 --> 00:06:04,934
(He burst into tears.)
121
00:06:05,066 --> 00:06:08,066
-Shit! We need to get to booze
in you STAT! Come on, baby.
122
00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:26,033
-You know you want to go in.
123
00:06:26,166 --> 00:06:28,100
-But... Who are you?
124
00:06:28,233 --> 00:06:30,300
-"But... Who are you?"
125
00:06:30,433 --> 00:06:32,767
I am the one whose going to get
your Popop back.
126
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:34,633
Or the next best thing.
127
00:06:34,767 --> 00:06:37,233
-But Johndoe said I shouldn't be
anywhere near this place.
128
00:06:37,367 --> 00:06:41,700
-Oh right, I forgot
you're a limp-dick man-baby.
129
00:06:41,834 --> 00:06:43,700
Well, just scuttle off home
130
00:06:43,834 --> 00:06:46,767
and never find out if
that thing can cure mutations.
131
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:50,367
-Hey! Screw you! Can
a limp-dick man-baby do this?
132
00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:58,166
-I can't believe
I'm that guy's subconscious.
133
00:07:00,433 --> 00:07:04,667
-Ah! Sorry! Just looking
for a place to, uh, peepee!
134
00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:09,133
Ah!
135
00:07:09,266 --> 00:07:13,700
(screaming)
136
00:07:24,734 --> 00:07:27,700
(growling)
137
00:07:31,100 --> 00:07:33,200
(shrieking, screaming)
138
00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:40,333
(screaming, shrieking)
139
00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:47,700
-Can I help you?
140
00:07:49,333 --> 00:07:51,900
(gasping)
141
00:07:53,700 --> 00:07:58,266
I'm General Aloysius Hecks,
and this is my son, Boyd.
142
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,333
(shrieking)
143
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:03,600
Shhh, shhh, shhh,
it's going to be fine, son.
144
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,934
Daddy and Johndoe
are doing everything we can
145
00:08:06,066 --> 00:08:07,433
for my best boy.
146
00:08:07,567 --> 00:08:09,000
(shrieking)
147
00:08:09,133 --> 00:08:12,433
Yes. Yes, I'll get you
the orange juice too.
148
00:08:12,567 --> 00:08:15,800
-General Hecks,
I'm Gabe. Gabe Burns.
149
00:08:15,934 --> 00:08:17,967
Sorry to barge in like this.
I shouldn't be here.
150
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,667
I'll just get out of your way.
151
00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:24,333
-You seem lost, son.
Let me show you the way.
152
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:30,867
-Okay. This is better.
153
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,900
(screaming)
154
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:39,767
-He called me an empty-headed
ass clown! And a circus peanut!
155
00:08:39,900 --> 00:08:42,567
I don't know what
"circus peanut" means.
156
00:08:42,700 --> 00:08:45,967
Guess I'm too much of an
empty-headed ass clown to know.
157
00:08:46,100 --> 00:08:48,600
-Hum...
-It just makes me so...
158
00:08:48,734 --> 00:08:50,266
so... so...
159
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:51,834
I don't know,
160
00:08:51,967 --> 00:08:53,767
like I want to smash something
and cry at the same time,
161
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:56,266
like a super-strong baby.
162
00:08:57,266 --> 00:09:01,767
-That necklace really brings out
the fire in your eyes.
163
00:09:02,767 --> 00:09:04,934
-Thanks,
and thanks for explaining
164
00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:07,800
how half-brothers
are still brothers.
165
00:09:07,934 --> 00:09:11,567
-No problem, sugar.
You sure you get it.
166
00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:13,900
-Yeah, the puppet show
you put on
167
00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:16,000
really crystallized it
for me.
168
00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:18,266
If these two have sex
with this one,
169
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,133
their children
will be half-brothers.
170
00:09:25,066 --> 00:09:27,333
-General Hecks, sir.
171
00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:31,600
(grunt)
172
00:09:31,734 --> 00:09:34,233
-Give me one good reason
not to put a bullet
173
00:09:34,367 --> 00:09:36,633
through your damn skull,
Cobretti.
174
00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:39,834
-Please, don't.
It's the only skull I've got.
175
00:09:39,967 --> 00:09:41,567
-Where is the package?
176
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:46,033
-Funny story. I don't have it
because your guy didn't show up.
177
00:09:46,166 --> 00:09:48,700
-That's not a funny story.
178
00:09:48,834 --> 00:09:51,934
-I know, 'cause it ends with
someone pointing a gun at me.
179
00:09:52,066 --> 00:09:54,433
But there's a surprise twist.
180
00:09:54,567 --> 00:09:57,200
-If it's you faking
your own death, don't bother.
181
00:09:57,333 --> 00:09:58,800
-Aw...
182
00:09:58,934 --> 00:10:02,100
-So, what do you know about
this Gabe Burns kid?
183
00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:04,467
-He's here?
-In my office.
184
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:06,900
-Ah, man,
I told him to "amscra".
185
00:10:07,033 --> 00:10:09,033
Kids these days,
they don't listen!
186
00:10:09,166 --> 00:10:10,934
-Or they don't know Pig Latin.
187
00:10:11,066 --> 00:10:13,600
-Sure they do!
Everyone knows Pig Latin.
188
00:10:13,734 --> 00:10:16,333
-They do not!
That's from when we were kids!
189
00:10:16,467 --> 00:10:18,233
It died with the grunge rock.
190
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:21,433
-Well, anyway, General,
Gabe's a nice guy.
191
00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:23,867
But not our kind of guy.
192
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,533
You should just let him go.
193
00:10:25,667 --> 00:10:27,900
-Um... We'll see.
194
00:10:28,033 --> 00:10:30,767
Is he in any relation to
the Burns woman in the bunker?
195
00:10:30,900 --> 00:10:33,300
-I don't think so. Who knows?
I don't know.
196
00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:36,400
How would I know?
Don't ask me, I wouldn't know.
197
00:10:36,533 --> 00:10:38,400
What?
198
00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,533
-You're a strange man, Cobretti.
199
00:10:45,300 --> 00:10:46,667
(sighing)
200
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,500
(speaking Pig Latin.)
201
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:54,734
It's Pig Latin
for that was close!
202
00:10:54,867 --> 00:10:56,233
Stupid millennial!
203
00:10:56,367 --> 00:10:58,667
Don't they teach you kids
anything in school?
204
00:10:59,834 --> 00:11:04,066
-So, what brings you here
so deep in the wasteland?
205
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,166
-I guess the wind just kind
of blew me this way.
206
00:11:06,300 --> 00:11:07,767
It's weird, I know.
207
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:11,500
-Weird is kind of the way
of the world now, isn't it son?
208
00:11:11,633 --> 00:11:15,500
-Yeah. Weird world indeed.
Did you call me son?
209
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,567
-Ha! Ha Ha!
Just a turn of phrase.
210
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:20,800
I've been waiting
for someone like you:
211
00:11:20,934 --> 00:11:25,467
a young buck to mould in my
image and assist in my mission.
212
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,734
-Me? Really?
213
00:11:27,867 --> 00:11:29,333
-Put it this way.
214
00:11:29,467 --> 00:11:31,033
I haven't met anyone
as promising as you
215
00:11:31,166 --> 00:11:34,100
since the guys we hired
to pull off 9/11.
216
00:11:34,233 --> 00:11:36,233
-What's a 9/11?
217
00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:38,233
-I like you!
218
00:11:38,367 --> 00:11:41,133
But listen, this job requires
unquestioning loyalty;
219
00:11:41,266 --> 00:11:45,033
someone who's willing to stop
anyone who gets in our way.
220
00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:48,967
-You can count on me! Ouch!
221
00:11:49,100 --> 00:11:51,867
Quite a grip
you have there, sir!
222
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,400
-I'll never forgive myself
223
00:11:54,533 --> 00:11:57,467
for calling him
a limp-dick man-baby.
224
00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,533
I really should have pulled down
his pants
225
00:12:00,667 --> 00:12:03,133
and laughed at his ding-dong.
226
00:12:03,266 --> 00:12:05,567
-Pulling down a man's pants
is always a good idea.
227
00:12:05,700 --> 00:12:07,934
Sorry. Force of habit. Go on.
228
00:12:08,066 --> 00:12:10,433
-Why are you always hitting
on me if you're married?
229
00:12:10,567 --> 00:12:12,133
That's not really fair
to Johnny.
230
00:12:12,266 --> 00:12:13,867
-Oh yeah?
231
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,400
Well, before I mutated,
232
00:12:15,533 --> 00:12:17,400
Johnny was tapping side-ass
all over town!
233
00:12:17,533 --> 00:12:19,200
No one told him
it wasn't fair to me!
234
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,900
-I didn't know that. Sorry.
235
00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,700
-When it's a guy,
everyone's all "yeah",
236
00:12:25,834 --> 00:12:28,433
but when it's a woman,
everyone's all "no".
237
00:12:29,300 --> 00:12:32,400
Women have desires too,
you know.
238
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,533
-Why are you looking
at me like that?
239
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:53,266
-So, what exactly
is your mission, sir?
240
00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,400
-Well, that's on
a need-to-know basis.
241
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:59,233
So listen carefully!
242
00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:03,133
It all started
when the world ended.
243
00:13:04,233 --> 00:13:07,500
It was the very first exchangewith an alien culture.
244
00:13:16,033 --> 00:13:19,800
We were trading Area 51crash survivors
245
00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:22,533
for some human abductees.
246
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:27,700
-USA! USA! USA! USA!
247
00:13:27,834 --> 00:13:29,400
Wooh!
248
00:13:29,533 --> 00:13:32,967
-Two advanced beings in exchangefor a pair of drunken hayseeds.
249
00:13:33,100 --> 00:13:36,934
Not a good trade. But historic!
250
00:13:38,533 --> 00:13:41,467
And when the alien's shiptook off...
251
00:13:48,166 --> 00:13:50,934
(screams of terror)
252
00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:03,500
(screams of terror)
253
00:14:03,633 --> 00:14:06,567
-Oh no! No, no, no, no, no, no!
254
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,834
(shrieking)
255
00:14:28,467 --> 00:14:31,066
(growling)
256
00:14:34,633 --> 00:14:38,900
-... I escaped with a barelynoticeable skin mutation.
257
00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:42,900
-So... Aliens caused
the apocalypse?!
258
00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:47,734
-That's right. Here, taste this,
son. It's my specialty.
259
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,100
-Mmm. Is this Chinese?
260
00:14:51,233 --> 00:14:53,367
-I didn't ask what country
the prisoners were from
261
00:14:53,500 --> 00:14:55,533
when I threw them into the pot.
262
00:14:55,667 --> 00:14:57,233
In any case,
263
00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:59,700
the aliens left behind examples
of their technology,
264
00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:02,266
which were scattered hither
and yon in the blast.
265
00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:05,433
-Hey, that looks just like...
266
00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:08,333
-You are exactly
what I was looking for.
267
00:15:08,467 --> 00:15:11,166
-I feel the same way.
268
00:15:11,300 --> 00:15:14,867
-This is the piece Johndoe
was supposed to bring back!
269
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,533
But his contact didn't show up.
270
00:15:18,533 --> 00:15:20,400
When assembled properly,
271
00:15:20,533 --> 00:15:23,800
this is a machine capable
of curing any mutation...
272
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:25,834
even my boy Boyd's.
273
00:15:25,967 --> 00:15:29,233
My mission is to build
that machine.
274
00:15:29,367 --> 00:15:31,600
-But you need one more piece?
275
00:15:31,734 --> 00:15:35,800
-Exactly. Now, how about
some target practice?
276
00:15:35,934 --> 00:15:39,700
-General, sir. I know
where the last piece is.
277
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:44,066
-(Rafe): Ah!
278
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,667
All right! Almost there.
279
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:49,967
-What's almost there? You just
keep poking the starting gate.
280
00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:53,967
(moaning weirdly)
281
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:56,800
-How about now?
-That's not it!
282
00:15:56,934 --> 00:15:59,033
-Seriously? Are you sure?
283
00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:01,867
-Yes, Rafe, I'm pretty sure
I know the location
284
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,767
of the mystical tunnel
from which all life emanates
285
00:16:04,900 --> 00:16:07,667
because I visit it
with my hand twice a week.
286
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:11,433
-Right! Of course. Sorry.
Twice, really?
287
00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:15,100
-Is this like your first time?
-No. It totally isn't!
288
00:16:15,233 --> 00:16:18,567
I've done sex on hundred
of women and they all loved it!
289
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:20,734
Oh, I can't lie to you.
290
00:16:20,867 --> 00:16:22,967
Technically,
this is my second time.
291
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:26,333
My first time was all scaly,
slimy and fishy
292
00:16:26,467 --> 00:16:28,233
and not because
she was a mutated river trout.
293
00:16:28,367 --> 00:16:30,066
It was 'cause
I don't shower much.
294
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,567
-I noticed.
295
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:35,667
-Um... So, how was the foreplay?
Did I do that okay?
296
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:39,300
-Ew! It was fine right up
until you asked!
297
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:41,900
-Just fine?
-It was fine, Rafe.
298
00:16:42,033 --> 00:16:44,300
-Like "good fine" or "bad fine"?
299
00:16:44,433 --> 00:16:46,533
-I'm still here, aren't I?
300
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,967
What are you doing?
301
00:16:49,100 --> 00:16:51,233
-And I'm in!
302
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:54,100
Oh, man, that's nice!
Really nice.
303
00:16:54,233 --> 00:16:57,667
Oh, it's like... like being
welcome into a realm of pleasure
304
00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,533
I never knew existed.
305
00:16:59,667 --> 00:17:02,200
-Dude, that's my belly button.
306
00:17:06,934 --> 00:17:08,800
-The schematics
detailing exactly
307
00:17:08,934 --> 00:17:11,300
how to configure the alien
detritus are hidden inside
308
00:17:11,433 --> 00:17:15,266
the AENUS of this area's
government Super bunker.
309
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,066
-Bunker?
310
00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:20,066
-Fire!
311
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:25,367
Oh, oh! Great shooting, kid.
312
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:28,433
Once I cure my son and myself,
313
00:17:28,567 --> 00:17:31,300
we're going to cleanse
this world of mutants.
314
00:17:31,433 --> 00:17:33,066
-Ah...
315
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,767
-Now, go get me that last piece
of the machine.
316
00:17:35,900 --> 00:17:38,467
-Er, what do you mean
by "cleanse"?
317
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:42,500
-I meant we'll get rid
of all the mutants.
318
00:17:42,633 --> 00:17:45,500
-Okay, but by curing them? Or...
319
00:17:45,633 --> 00:17:47,700
-Don't sweat the details.
You got this.
320
00:17:54,033 --> 00:17:56,200
(laughing)
321
00:17:56,333 --> 00:17:58,633
-Why are all of those thoughts
that were flying around my head
322
00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:00,200
suddenly gone?
323
00:18:00,333 --> 00:18:02,433
Why can I see everything
so clearly now?
324
00:18:02,567 --> 00:18:05,500
Why do I have a newfound focus
and understanding?
325
00:18:05,633 --> 00:18:08,767
-Hush now, honey.
That's just the afterglow.
326
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:11,633
-But I know what
I have to do now.
327
00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:15,166
-That's a lot of epiphanies from
just 58 seconds of rumpy-pumpy.
328
00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,734
Where are you...
329
00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,734
-Focus, Suzette.
330
00:18:18,867 --> 00:18:21,367
I have to go find Gabe and
make things right between us.
331
00:18:21,500 --> 00:18:22,867
-Christ!
332
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,767
Even virgins run out on you
once they've dropped their load!
333
00:18:25,900 --> 00:18:28,700
-General? I'm heading out.
I'll be back with your...
334
00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:31,800
-Son, you are my reason
for living.
335
00:18:31,934 --> 00:18:33,767
I swear I'll fix you very soon.
336
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:36,800
As long as that needy twerp
makes good on his promise.
337
00:18:36,934 --> 00:18:39,500
-He... spot infi...
338
00:18:39,633 --> 00:18:42,800
-Infiltrate.
Come on, sound it out!
339
00:18:42,934 --> 00:18:45,767
-Infiltrate the ene... meneme...
340
00:18:45,900 --> 00:18:48,200
-Enemy compound.
341
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:51,367
All right, enough reading.
Reading's for freaking dorks.
342
00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,900
Let's strip
and rebuild this AK-47.
343
00:18:54,033 --> 00:18:57,166
-All right!
-Ah, love that hustle!
344
00:18:57,300 --> 00:18:59,967
That's why you're my favourite!
345
00:19:03,266 --> 00:19:04,633
(shrieking)
346
00:19:04,767 --> 00:19:08,300
-Yes! Orange juice.
I heard you the first time.
347
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,867
(crying)
348
00:19:15,567 --> 00:19:18,533
-What's with the sissy little
baby tears, big guy?
349
00:19:18,667 --> 00:19:22,133
-Why am I always second best?
350
00:19:22,266 --> 00:19:24,867
-It was more
of a rhetorical question.
351
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,166
-I thought things would be
different this time.
352
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,367
I thought finally I'd found
a place where I was important.
353
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:33,033
-Oh boy, where's a car
to blow up when you need it?
354
00:19:33,166 --> 00:19:36,433
-Turns out I'm just Gabe Burns,
the poor man's Rafe,
355
00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:40,033
Batman's Robin,
Eric Roberts to Julia Roberts.
356
00:19:40,166 --> 00:19:41,934
America to Canada.
357
00:19:42,066 --> 00:19:45,800
(gun clicking)
358
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:47,300
-Dammit!
359
00:19:47,433 --> 00:19:50,333
-Well, maybe if I get that
last piece the General needs,
360
00:19:50,467 --> 00:19:51,834
he'll see me for who I am.
361
00:19:51,967 --> 00:19:53,533
-Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on, kid.
362
00:19:53,667 --> 00:19:55,600
This is not a world
you want to be part of.
363
00:19:55,734 --> 00:19:58,433
You're in way over your head.
364
00:19:58,567 --> 00:20:01,100
Like a drowning man,
except not nearly as quiet.
365
00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:03,934
Get out of here, Gabe,
for your own good.
366
00:20:04,066 --> 00:20:06,433
And for what it's worth, you
are important. To St. Zephyr.
367
00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:09,367
So go back there and forget
about General Hecks.
368
00:20:09,500 --> 00:20:11,667
-Ah! But! But!
369
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,500
-Save yourself
while you still can.
370
00:20:13,633 --> 00:20:16,834
-Wait! Can I use the bathroom?
I still need to peepee!
371
00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:28,000
-Nice shooting!
372
00:20:28,133 --> 00:20:29,967
-Rafe? You came back for me?
373
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:32,767
-Look at all
these reusable bags.
374
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:34,500
What?
375
00:20:34,633 --> 00:20:36,300
(groaning)
376
00:20:36,433 --> 00:20:38,700
-Good work, son.
377
00:20:40,467 --> 00:20:44,433
-Give me that necklace!
-What? I don't have a necklace.
378
00:20:45,333 --> 00:20:49,300
-He's lying.
I bet he's hiding it in here.
379
00:20:49,433 --> 00:20:52,700
If he won't hand it over,
just kill him and take it.
380
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:54,200
-Shut up!
381
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:55,800
-I didn't say anything.
382
00:20:55,934 --> 00:20:57,300
-I'm not talking to you!
383
00:20:57,433 --> 00:20:59,333
-Gabe, this is your chance!
384
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:01,667
Bring the general
that piece of the machine
385
00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,533
and you'll be number one!
386
00:21:03,667 --> 00:21:05,100
You'll be important!
387
00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:07,900
And you'll make Rafe look like
a pile of garbage in comparison.
388
00:21:08,033 --> 00:21:09,934
-That's a hell
of a big gun, Gabe.
389
00:21:10,066 --> 00:21:12,166
And I thought you were
just happy to see me.
390
00:21:12,300 --> 00:21:15,667
-See? He's a moron!
And he smells.
391
00:21:15,800 --> 00:21:20,600
Put him out of your misery
and take your destiny, Gabriel!
392
00:21:20,734 --> 00:21:23,867
-He's my brother! I can't.
-Of course, you can't!
393
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:28,500
You're pathetic. Nothing
but a limp-dick man-baby.
394
00:21:28,633 --> 00:21:30,667
-Shut up!
395
00:21:37,934 --> 00:21:39,567
Rafe! No!
396
00:21:39,700 --> 00:21:44,133
(yelling): No!
397
00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:49,100
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