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1
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:32,292
I can't believe we get to
finally see a real prom.
2
00:00:32,708 --> 00:00:33,708
You ready?
3
00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:37,958
Holy shit.
4
00:00:38,292 --> 00:00:40,958
Let's promise each other
prom will be our night.
5
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:43,167
You'll be there with
the love of your life,
6
00:00:43,250 --> 00:00:45,375
and the most popular girl
in school, the prom queen,
7
00:00:45,458 --> 00:00:46,625
that'll be me,
8
00:00:46,708 --> 00:00:47,917
no matter what it takes.
9
00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:55,125
Prom pact.
10
00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,265
Prom pact.
11
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,458
- Oh. Oh!
- Oh, my God.
12
00:00:59,542 --> 00:01:01,292
- What do I do?!
- Uh, just calm down.
13
00:01:01,375 --> 00:01:04,083
- It's gonna be fine.
- I don't know how to calm down!
14
00:01:04,458 --> 00:01:06,726
- It's okay! You're okay!
- I'm okay.
15
00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:07,976
I'm okay!
16
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:09,000
I'm okay.
17
00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:14,667
♪ Tip-toeing in the
street like ballet ♪
18
00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:16,875
♪ Pulled up, moped
to the valet ♪
19
00:01:16,958 --> 00:01:19,042
♪ Whitewalls on the
wheels like mayonnaise ♪
20
00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:21,083
♪ Dope, my crew is ill ♪
21
00:01:21,167 --> 00:01:23,125
♪ And all we need
is two good wheels ♪
22
00:01:23,208 --> 00:01:25,333
♪ Got gas in the tank,
cash in the bank ♪
23
00:01:25,417 --> 00:01:27,458
♪ And a bad little mama
with her ass in my face ♪
24
00:01:27,542 --> 00:01:28,542
♪ I'ma dope! ♪
25
00:01:28,625 --> 00:01:30,268
I can't believe the
dress that I ordered
26
00:01:30,292 --> 00:01:31,372
four months ago never came.
27
00:01:31,417 --> 00:01:34,101
Do you think it's 'cause we made
your delivery name Dick Shartioli?
28
00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:37,792
Maybe, but that was the only dress Luca
thinks I look like a prom queen in.
29
00:01:37,875 --> 00:01:39,125
Okay, are you ready?
30
00:01:39,208 --> 00:01:40,250
I mean, I guess.
31
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:41,583
Oh!
32
00:01:41,667 --> 00:01:43,250
Holy shit!
33
00:01:43,333 --> 00:01:45,583
Oh, Jess, you literally
look like a penis.
34
00:01:45,667 --> 00:01:48,042
- Well, you look like a period.
- You're welcome.
35
00:01:48,125 --> 00:01:50,000
Why do they even make
dresses like this?
36
00:01:50,083 --> 00:01:51,683
It's not like anyone
looks good in them.
37
00:01:58,333 --> 00:01:59,333
That's fucked up.
38
00:02:00,708 --> 00:02:02,917
So do you wanna do
sushi or pizza...?
39
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,667
Oh, I forgot to tell you, Luca
actually invited me to lunch.
40
00:02:05,750 --> 00:02:08,292
We can drop you off though.
41
00:02:08,375 --> 00:02:10,500
I would rather get in a
Lyft with Thelma and Louise.
42
00:02:10,583 --> 00:02:11,625
Don't be an asshole.
43
00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:19,167
Hey, Hanky.
44
00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:22,583
I'd offer you a lift, but the
Beemer's built for speed, not comfort.
45
00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:23,833
Doubt you'd fit.
46
00:02:23,917 --> 00:02:26,333
Save me a seat at assembly.
47
00:02:26,417 --> 00:02:28,042
See ya!
48
00:02:29,542 --> 00:02:31,583
Yeah. Hope his dick falls off!
49
00:02:32,292 --> 00:02:33,934
Fuck you, asshole!
50
00:02:54,083 --> 00:02:56,708
Just wanted to maximize
51
00:02:57,750 --> 00:02:58,917
our alone time together.
52
00:02:59,792 --> 00:03:00,917
Oh.
53
00:03:03,333 --> 00:03:05,000
Okay.
54
00:03:05,083 --> 00:03:06,792
I, um...
55
00:03:08,458 --> 00:03:09,708
I... Oh, oh.
56
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,042
- Oh, okay.
- Okay.
57
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,250
Um, I just...
58
00:03:16,583 --> 00:03:18,601
- What are you doing?
- I just don't want our first time
59
00:03:18,625 --> 00:03:20,125
to be at 11:00 a.m.
60
00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:21,875
in a parking lot.
61
00:03:23,917 --> 00:03:25,125
Just wait till tomorrow night.
62
00:03:25,208 --> 00:03:27,792
We'll have a whole hotel
room to ourselves after prom.
63
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,000
- It'll be worth the wait.
- I'm not trying
64
00:03:30,083 --> 00:03:32,208
to force myself onto
you or whatever.
65
00:03:32,292 --> 00:03:33,583
- Mm!
- I just...
66
00:03:34,542 --> 00:03:35,750
I want to be close to you.
67
00:03:35,833 --> 00:03:37,417
I want to be close to you, too.
68
00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:40,125
- So?
- No, I'm sorry.
69
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:46,958
So what do you want
to do for lunch?
70
00:03:47,042 --> 00:03:49,542
Eh, I gotta go pick up the
keg for the pre-prom, so...
71
00:03:49,625 --> 00:03:51,917
Well, you wanna hang
out tonight instead?
72
00:03:52,833 --> 00:03:55,125
Can't, FFF. Friday
family fondue.
73
00:03:56,167 --> 00:03:57,167
Right.
74
00:03:58,042 --> 00:04:01,042
Well, if you change your mind, I'd
love to finally meet your parents.
75
00:04:01,125 --> 00:04:02,167
Hmm.
76
00:04:03,458 --> 00:04:05,138
I can take you back
to school if you want.
77
00:04:06,125 --> 00:04:07,958
Yeah, that'd be great. Thanks.
78
00:04:08,042 --> 00:04:09,042
Alright.
79
00:04:30,292 --> 00:04:33,333
♪ Same place, different love ♪
80
00:04:33,750 --> 00:04:36,833
♪ Only call you up
when I'm feeling low ♪
81
00:04:36,917 --> 00:04:40,500
♪ Champagne feels better
than the real thing ♪
82
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:46,042
♪ Gimme the cash, gimme
the bag, gimme the loot ♪
83
00:04:46,417 --> 00:04:49,708
♪ I want it all, gimme the
love, gimme your heart too ♪
84
00:04:49,792 --> 00:04:52,583
♪ No one to blame, catching
the flame, just me and you ♪
85
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,292
Hey.
86
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:59,333
Um, I just wanted to say thanks
for sending me the trig homework.
87
00:04:59,417 --> 00:05:01,083
Kinda just needed to
hand something in.
88
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:02,893
Didn't get a chance to
finish it because of my gig.
89
00:05:02,917 --> 00:05:05,667
Jesus, are you okay?
90
00:05:05,750 --> 00:05:07,417
Just choking.
91
00:05:11,583 --> 00:05:12,708
- Did you just fart?
- Nope.
92
00:05:12,792 --> 00:05:14,083
Thought I heard a fart.
93
00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:15,958
You didn't.
94
00:05:16,042 --> 00:05:19,542
Okay, uh, well, I'll
catch you later.
95
00:05:29,625 --> 00:05:30,625
- Yo.
- Yo!
96
00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:31,875
There you are.
97
00:05:34,958 --> 00:05:35,958
What'd Angie want?
98
00:05:36,042 --> 00:05:38,393
Uh, just... just talking
about trig homework.
99
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,125
Gross.
100
00:05:41,792 --> 00:05:45,208
Oh fuck! That sucks for her.
101
00:05:45,625 --> 00:05:47,167
Where's Greg?
102
00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,850
I don't know, he said
he had some, like,
103
00:05:48,875 --> 00:05:49,958
student council thing.
104
00:05:50,042 --> 00:05:51,726
Alright. Come on, folks,
let's settle down.
105
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:55,083
Alright, seniors. I know that some
of you are planning to take things
106
00:05:55,167 --> 00:05:57,708
to the next level
tomorrow night, sexually.
107
00:05:57,792 --> 00:05:59,768
That's a word that
we can use here.
108
00:05:59,792 --> 00:06:01,583
We're all adults, or almost.
109
00:06:01,667 --> 00:06:05,250
And so I've prepared a
little demo to have you watch
110
00:06:05,333 --> 00:06:07,167
before you do something
on your prom night
111
00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:08,625
that you can't take back.
112
00:06:08,708 --> 00:06:10,125
Eat a dick!
113
00:06:10,208 --> 00:06:11,250
Hey, shut up!
114
00:06:11,958 --> 00:06:14,125
Shut your holes!
115
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,375
Teen pregnancy is not a joke!
116
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,667
Unless it happens
to somebody funny.
117
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:26,375
Protection is the key.
118
00:06:26,458 --> 00:06:29,083
I'm gonna show every
Johnson in this room...
119
00:06:30,750 --> 00:06:34,333
that condoms really
are one size fits all.
120
00:06:34,417 --> 00:06:36,125
Observe.
121
00:06:36,542 --> 00:06:38,958
Now imagine I am the
thing in question.
122
00:06:43,333 --> 00:06:45,750
Oh, my God.
123
00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:48,184
Yeah, they should've just handed out
free condoms and called it a day.
124
00:06:48,208 --> 00:06:50,458
Mm! Spoken like a
true sexual expert.
125
00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:53,018
- I've only done it once.
- That's more than me.
126
00:06:53,042 --> 00:06:56,083
God, I still cannot
believe I greened out
127
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:59,333
and missed you meeting Johan,
the dreamy exchange student.
128
00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:01,851
Yeah.
129
00:07:01,875 --> 00:07:04,750
Yeah, it's crazy that he had to go
back to Germany, like, immediately.
130
00:07:04,833 --> 00:07:07,083
Like, the very next day. Sucks.
131
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,167
We have one final
announcement.
132
00:07:09,250 --> 00:07:10,583
Have a good time at prom.
133
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:14,375
And for heaven's
sakes, use a condom!
134
00:07:17,542 --> 00:07:21,125
Hey, I wanted to ask
you, would you be okay
135
00:07:21,208 --> 00:07:23,958
with doing pre-prom at
Luca's instead of yours?
136
00:07:24,042 --> 00:07:25,726
The soccer team, they
just, they decided to throw
137
00:07:25,750 --> 00:07:28,458
a big party last minute, and
Luca's the captain, so...
138
00:07:28,542 --> 00:07:29,708
Seriously?
139
00:07:29,792 --> 00:07:31,875
My mom planned, like,
a whole thing for us.
140
00:07:31,958 --> 00:07:33,000
I know,
141
00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:35,250
- but he's so excited.
- Ugh!
142
00:07:38,042 --> 00:07:39,458
Fine.
143
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,268
As long as we're still
getting ready at mine.
144
00:07:41,292 --> 00:07:42,792
Of course. Yes.
145
00:07:44,042 --> 00:07:46,042
Yeah, well, nothing
could be worse than that.
146
00:07:52,208 --> 00:07:53,958
- Is that...
- Greg.
147
00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:57,708
♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪
148
00:07:57,792 --> 00:08:01,292
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
149
00:08:01,375 --> 00:08:04,542
♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪
150
00:08:04,625 --> 00:08:07,833
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
151
00:08:12,417 --> 00:08:15,375
- Is he prom-posing right now?
- Oh, my God.
152
00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:17,000
Please, no.
153
00:08:20,250 --> 00:08:23,625
♪ Please come to prom with
me, my Hannah Banana ♪
154
00:08:23,708 --> 00:08:27,000
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
155
00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:28,123
♪ Please come to prom... ♪
156
00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:29,542
Oh, my God, he's getting closer.
157
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:33,750
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
158
00:08:33,833 --> 00:08:37,333
♪ Night, is a night, is
a night, is a night ♪
159
00:08:37,417 --> 00:08:40,708
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
160
00:08:40,792 --> 00:08:44,208
♪ Night, is a night, is
a night, is a night ♪
161
00:08:44,292 --> 00:08:47,125
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
162
00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:49,292
They're putting
a harness on him.
163
00:08:49,375 --> 00:08:50,667
My, God.
164
00:08:51,042 --> 00:08:54,458
♪ One foot, two foot,
three foot, dance ♪
165
00:08:54,542 --> 00:08:57,583
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
166
00:08:57,667 --> 00:09:01,292
♪ Six foot, seven foot,
eight foot, dance ♪
167
00:09:01,375 --> 00:09:04,458
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
168
00:09:04,542 --> 00:09:05,542
Oh, God.
169
00:09:05,625 --> 00:09:09,542
Hannah, will you please
go to prom with me?
170
00:09:09,625 --> 00:09:12,292
Yeah! Yes, just fucking stop!
171
00:09:13,875 --> 00:09:15,083
She said yes!
172
00:09:27,083 --> 00:09:30,375
It's always big public
displays of affection with him.
173
00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,042
I told him not to do that.
174
00:09:32,125 --> 00:09:34,000
He choreographed
bananas for you.
175
00:09:34,083 --> 00:09:36,208
Clearly, it came
from a place of love.
176
00:09:36,292 --> 00:09:38,643
I've been dating Luca for four
months, and I still can't even get him
177
00:09:38,667 --> 00:09:39,907
to introduce me to his parents.
178
00:09:39,958 --> 00:09:41,292
Consider yourself lucky.
179
00:09:41,375 --> 00:09:43,559
Can't believe you two are
going to different colleges.
180
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,643
Do you remember when you
found out that he was sleeping
181
00:09:45,667 --> 00:09:46,917
with a lock of your hair?
182
00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:48,417
Dateline vibes.
183
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:51,417
Yeah. I think some space
will be a good thing.
184
00:09:52,583 --> 00:09:53,934
No one had their phones out.
185
00:09:53,958 --> 00:09:55,598
You literally had
your phone out.
186
00:09:55,625 --> 00:09:57,809
You wanna hang out tonight?
Vodka Heather's throwing a party.
187
00:09:57,833 --> 00:10:00,083
Oh, God, I hope I'm the
only Hannah in my program.
188
00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:02,143
I do not want to be saddled
with a nickname like that
189
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:03,417
my first year of college.
190
00:10:03,500 --> 00:10:04,917
Are you kidding
me? She loves it.
191
00:10:05,333 --> 00:10:07,417
That's actually
surprisingly well done.
192
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:09,125
She's got a really
smooth lower back.
193
00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:10,333
Mm-hmm.
194
00:10:10,417 --> 00:10:12,217
As much as I would love
to see that in person,
195
00:10:12,292 --> 00:10:15,333
Greg told me to come over
tonight for a "surprise."
196
00:10:15,417 --> 00:10:17,583
I'm guessing it's a
shared burial plot.
197
00:10:17,833 --> 00:10:19,273
We can give you a
ride home, though.
198
00:10:20,792 --> 00:10:22,083
Why's your brother here?
199
00:10:24,292 --> 00:10:26,625
♪ Don't you know
you make me crazy ♪
200
00:10:28,417 --> 00:10:29,875
♪ Pull my hair... ♪
201
00:10:29,958 --> 00:10:31,678
I can't believe this
is happening right now.
202
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,958
I know. I've known you
since we were, like, five.
203
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:38,792
Are you thinking about five-year-old
me while I'm inside of you right now?
204
00:10:38,875 --> 00:10:40,559
That's fucked up. That's...
205
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:41,750
You're sick.
206
00:10:41,833 --> 00:10:44,458
- Does sex always have this much talking?
- Yeah.
207
00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:47,125
Yeah, it does when you're
nervous because you like someone.
208
00:10:48,500 --> 00:10:49,583
We can't tell Hannah.
209
00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:51,667
Oh, my God, no. Mum's the word.
210
00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,792
Oh, great, now I'm
thinking about your mom.
211
00:10:55,083 --> 00:10:56,893
No, but imagine I came
when you said that.
212
00:10:58,833 --> 00:11:01,309
- That would be so weird.
- That would be really fucked up.
213
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:02,976
- I know.
- That would be worse than,
214
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,708
like, you thinking
about five-year-old me.
215
00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:10,042
Hi.
216
00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:11,125
Hi.
217
00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,917
Think your aux cord is busted.
218
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,292
Oh, uh, there's some CDs in
the glove box if you want.
219
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,500
Eh, whatever.
220
00:11:17,583 --> 00:11:20,583
Your music taste is all women who
sound like sad ghosts anyways.
221
00:11:20,667 --> 00:11:22,792
That's... fair.
222
00:11:23,375 --> 00:11:25,875
- So when did you get back?
- Uh, yesterday.
223
00:11:26,208 --> 00:11:28,625
Yeah, I, uh, actually, I got
a job at the Italian place
224
00:11:28,708 --> 00:11:30,542
near our house, so I'll
be here till August.
225
00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,750
- Oh.
- Felt like the right fit
226
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:35,292
because I would literally kill
Hannah for a free chicken parm.
227
00:11:35,375 --> 00:11:36,708
Same.
228
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,042
Hey, um, do you guys wanna
go to a show tonight?
229
00:11:40,125 --> 00:11:42,851
There's this great band that's playing
a warehouse near Rutgers Campus.
230
00:11:42,875 --> 00:11:44,083
Should be pretty cool.
231
00:11:44,167 --> 00:11:46,375
- Uh, I...
- I can't, I'm hanging with Greg.
232
00:11:46,458 --> 00:11:49,417
And Jess is probably busy
jerking it to a pic of Luca.
233
00:11:50,167 --> 00:11:52,292
- Who's Luca?
- Her chodey boyfriend.
234
00:11:53,417 --> 00:11:55,500
Oh.
235
00:11:55,917 --> 00:11:57,167
Get your feet down.
236
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:00,083
You were adopted.
237
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:01,708
Yeah, I know.
238
00:12:14,417 --> 00:12:15,625
Love you.
239
00:12:15,708 --> 00:12:16,708
Love you.
240
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:18,583
Get home safe!
241
00:12:19,958 --> 00:12:21,167
My door's right there.
242
00:12:21,625 --> 00:12:22,875
Yeah, but you could trip.
243
00:12:22,958 --> 00:12:25,500
Let's go! I gotta
rock a fat piss.
244
00:12:26,042 --> 00:12:28,000
- Why didn't you go at the school?
- I did.
245
00:12:28,875 --> 00:12:30,333
- What?
- Gotta go again.
246
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:31,917
What is the matter with you?
247
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:46,042
Hi, Hannah. Come in, come in.
248
00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:49,250
I'm just teaching
Lucy a new trick.
249
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:50,917
Come on, you don't
wanna miss this.
250
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:54,417
Lucy, what would
you like for dinner?
251
00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:57,292
Duck. Rice. Please.
252
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,417
Wow, she's hitting
all her food groups.
253
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:00,667
She's so advanced.
254
00:13:00,750 --> 00:13:01,833
I'd send her to university,
255
00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:03,875
but I'm so scared of
the fraternity parties.
256
00:13:04,375 --> 00:13:06,417
She's so smart, she
doesn't even need a treat.
257
00:13:06,500 --> 00:13:09,708
Her reward is
communicating with Mommy.
258
00:13:10,750 --> 00:13:11,917
Awesome.
259
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,917
I'm gonna check on dinner. I'm
cooking Ethiopian food tonight.
260
00:13:15,292 --> 00:13:17,125
- Greg should be down in a second.
- Okay.
261
00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:19,625
Duck. Rice. Please.
262
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:22,667
Please. Kill. Me.
263
00:13:22,750 --> 00:13:25,250
Why would they even give you
those buttons as an option?
264
00:13:26,750 --> 00:13:28,542
There's my Hannie Bananie.
265
00:13:28,625 --> 00:13:30,958
Come upstairs, I have
something I wanna show you.
266
00:13:31,292 --> 00:13:34,375
Please. Kill. Mommy.
267
00:13:34,917 --> 00:13:36,250
Kill. Mommy.
268
00:13:36,625 --> 00:13:38,250
Kill. Please.
269
00:13:38,333 --> 00:13:40,083
Please. Please. Please.
270
00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:48,958
Hey, everyone, welcome
back to my channel.
271
00:13:49,042 --> 00:13:50,143
So today...
272
00:13:50,167 --> 00:13:53,292
I have a super exciting
makeup tutorial...
273
00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:04,042
♪ Hands outstretched,
now I don't even know ♪
274
00:14:04,125 --> 00:14:07,417
♪ If I'm working, dying
for who and what ♪
275
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:09,833
♪ Hands outstretched,
now I don't even know ♪
276
00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:11,917
♪ If I'm sleeping,
living for who and... ♪
277
00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,583
So, what musical
did you wanna watch?
278
00:14:16,667 --> 00:14:18,875
And before you say it, I
know we can't watch Phantom
279
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,208
'cause it's "too scary."
280
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,583
You're not gonna
propose, are you?
281
00:14:26,667 --> 00:14:28,042
- What if I did?
- You're not.
282
00:14:28,125 --> 00:14:29,833
No! N-no.
283
00:14:30,625 --> 00:14:32,583
I wanted to take a
smaller step first.
284
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:44,917
This is from Penn State.
285
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,208
Yes.
286
00:14:46,292 --> 00:14:48,458
So why's it addressed to you?
You're going to Stanford.
287
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,125
You transferred.
288
00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:55,708
I transferred!
289
00:14:57,208 --> 00:14:59,750
Now we don't have to worry
about expensive flights
290
00:14:59,833 --> 00:15:02,000
or missing birthdays
or anything.
291
00:15:02,083 --> 00:15:04,250
I even weaseled my way
into the same dorm,
292
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:05,958
so we never have to be apart.
293
00:15:06,375 --> 00:15:10,167
Isn't it so great? We're
gonna be together forever.
294
00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:13,417
Together forever.
295
00:15:14,333 --> 00:15:15,667
Forever.
296
00:15:16,792 --> 00:15:17,875
Forever.
297
00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:20,333
I have to go.
298
00:15:20,417 --> 00:15:21,497
What?
299
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:22,750
Hannah!
300
00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:25,708
Hannah!
301
00:15:30,750 --> 00:15:31,917
Lucy!
302
00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:42,375
♪ I wanna stay here and
be really okay on my own ♪
303
00:15:42,458 --> 00:15:45,417
♪ Really okay on my own,
don't wanna be alone ♪
304
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:47,750
Okay. You can do this.
305
00:15:48,167 --> 00:15:49,292
They're gonna love you.
306
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,042
♪ Don't wanna be... ♪
307
00:16:04,042 --> 00:16:05,875
- Luca?
- Jess?!
308
00:16:05,958 --> 00:16:07,542
Jesus!
309
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:10,167
I thought you had
a family dinner?
310
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:12,375
I do! I mean, I did.
311
00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:15,208
I yelled at my mom for buying
ham instead of prosciutto,
312
00:16:15,292 --> 00:16:16,833
so my parents went
out without me.
313
00:16:16,917 --> 00:16:18,250
How could you do this to me?
314
00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,708
Look, it's not what it looks
like. I barely know this girl.
315
00:16:20,792 --> 00:16:22,042
Uh, you texted me.
316
00:16:22,125 --> 00:16:23,417
Janine, I swear to God.
317
00:16:26,708 --> 00:16:29,417
I'm so sorry, I didn't
know he was with someone.
318
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,667
Your text was a lie?
319
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:34,833
Not fully.
320
00:16:34,917 --> 00:16:36,877
I bet my mom would think
that you have great taste
321
00:16:36,917 --> 00:16:38,292
if she knew who you were.
322
00:16:39,792 --> 00:16:41,083
You're an asshole.
323
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,250
Jess.
324
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:44,042
Come on, Jess!
325
00:16:45,458 --> 00:16:47,167
Yo, Janine, are
you still here?
326
00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,250
Could we DoorDash some 'scuitto?
327
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:52,792
Luca cheated on me!
328
00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:55,375
No. Greg transferred
to Penn State.
329
00:16:55,458 --> 00:16:56,583
What?!
330
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:57,875
Meet at my house now!
331
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,208
How could he fucking
do this to me?
332
00:17:00,292 --> 00:17:02,125
There goes my chance
at being prom queen.
333
00:17:02,208 --> 00:17:04,250
He couldn't wait one
night to get his dick wet?
334
00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:06,167
I bought handcuffs,
Hannah. Handcuffs!
335
00:17:06,250 --> 00:17:07,976
And yeah, I bought them
from the Halloween store
336
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,643
because the sex store kinda scares me,
but I was gonna Google how to use them
337
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:11,792
and blow his fucking mind.
338
00:17:11,875 --> 00:17:13,351
Like, I was gonna use
them on my ankles.
339
00:17:13,375 --> 00:17:14,500
That's crazy.
340
00:17:14,583 --> 00:17:16,101
Ugh! You know what my
name is in his phone?
341
00:17:16,125 --> 00:17:17,625
It's "Jess Harrison Lee High."
342
00:17:17,708 --> 00:17:19,583
We go to the same
fucking school.
343
00:17:19,667 --> 00:17:21,250
Yeah, that's crazy.
344
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:23,458
Hannah, you've said the same
thing, like, five times.
345
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:27,125
Look, I know that Greg's
transferring was a shock,
346
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:28,625
but isn't it a good thing?
347
00:17:28,708 --> 00:17:30,458
Especially considering
the alternative?
348
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:31,875
I'm a lesbian.
349
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:33,833
I've wanted to tell you forever,
350
00:17:33,917 --> 00:17:35,434
but I could never get
you at the right time,
351
00:17:35,458 --> 00:17:37,167
and I wasn't entirely sure
352
00:17:37,250 --> 00:17:39,833
'cause I hadn't kissed a girl
before, so how could I know?
353
00:17:39,917 --> 00:17:42,000
But then two weeks into dating,
354
00:17:42,083 --> 00:17:43,875
Greg went down on me
for the first time,
355
00:17:43,958 --> 00:17:46,958
and I had to think of Rachel
Weisz in The Mummy to cum.
356
00:17:47,042 --> 00:17:50,292
And then it was obvious, but I
wasn't ready for my whole life
357
00:17:50,375 --> 00:17:52,000
to be turned upside down,
358
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:55,542
so I figured I'd go to
college and get a septum ring,
359
00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,625
and it'd sort of
sort itself out,
360
00:17:57,708 --> 00:18:01,292
but then Greg wanted to
wear my skin as a coat,
361
00:18:01,375 --> 00:18:04,750
and now I can't live one
more second pretending
362
00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,875
that I'm not
obsessed with girls.
363
00:18:08,708 --> 00:18:09,708
Hannah.
364
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,083
Hannah, I know you're gay.
365
00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:16,250
- What?
- I'm your best friend.
366
00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:19,292
And also, it's not
exactly hard to tell.
367
00:18:19,375 --> 00:18:20,375
What the...?
368
00:18:20,458 --> 00:18:23,708
In fourth grade, you bought Mrs.
Workowski a bottle of perfume
369
00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:25,393
and then when her husband
came for Career Day,
370
00:18:25,417 --> 00:18:26,518
you called him a little bitch.
371
00:18:26,542 --> 00:18:27,958
He was a little bitch.
372
00:18:28,042 --> 00:18:31,042
- He was a firefighter.
- He was a bitchy firefighter.
373
00:18:32,417 --> 00:18:34,667
How come you didn't
say anything?
374
00:18:35,125 --> 00:18:36,542
It wasn't my place.
375
00:18:36,625 --> 00:18:38,458
I figured you'd tell
me when you were ready.
376
00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:40,917
Just like I didn't tell you I
was Black until I was eight.
377
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:43,643
And also, when you started dating
Greg, I thought maybe you were bi.
378
00:18:43,667 --> 00:18:44,875
No.
379
00:18:44,958 --> 00:18:46,417
I was just scared.
380
00:18:47,167 --> 00:18:50,542
So scared, I wasted 10 months
of my life giving hand jobs
381
00:18:50,625 --> 00:18:52,750
to a guy with a
Glee bumper sticker.
382
00:18:52,833 --> 00:18:53,833
Oh, my God.
383
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,042
I just ran out.
384
00:18:56,708 --> 00:18:59,583
How the fuck am I gonna look
him in the eye tomorrow?
385
00:19:01,333 --> 00:19:02,542
Tomorrow.
386
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,667
Fuck! Tomorrow is prom
and we don't have dates!
387
00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:07,333
Dope! The perfect
excuse not to go!
388
00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:09,458
Uh, we are absolutely going.
389
00:19:09,542 --> 00:19:12,917
Do you know how much of my college
fund I spent on two dresses?
390
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,292
Lashes? Shoes?
391
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:16,476
I got a Brazilian, Hannah. I
don't even know what that is.
392
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,018
Did you know you have
hair on your asshole?
393
00:19:18,042 --> 00:19:19,750
It is fucked up
down there! Okay?
394
00:19:19,833 --> 00:19:21,976
We are going to prom, and we're
getting new dates tonight.
395
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,083
It is 9:00 p.m., Jessica.
396
00:19:24,167 --> 00:19:26,083
- Prom pact.
- Stop.
397
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:27,958
Prom pact.
398
00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,542
Oh, you wanna compare scars?
399
00:19:30,625 --> 00:19:34,333
'Cause this landed me
in 10 months of therapy
400
00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:37,167
after my mom thought I tried
to publicly commit suicide.
401
00:19:37,250 --> 00:19:41,000
We promised that no matter
what, this would be our night.
402
00:19:42,333 --> 00:19:44,208
I can't wait to go to
prom with my boyfriend.
403
00:19:44,292 --> 00:19:46,333
If I'm not dating
someone by senior year,
404
00:19:46,417 --> 00:19:48,500
I'm gonna drink bleach
and blast social media
405
00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:50,875
so I can get a date
with Taylor Lautner.
406
00:19:50,958 --> 00:19:53,292
Fuck, I wish I thought of that.
407
00:19:53,375 --> 00:19:56,208
That's just one part of
the perfect prom night.
408
00:19:56,667 --> 00:19:59,667
We only have one shot at senior
prom. One. And we are this close.
409
00:19:59,750 --> 00:20:01,667
I mean, are you really
gonna let some douche bag
410
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,625
who sprays fucking Paco
Rabanne on his balls
411
00:20:03,708 --> 00:20:05,143
screw up my moment
in the spotlight?
412
00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:06,559
I don't know what
you want me to do.
413
00:20:06,583 --> 00:20:08,184
I don't even know what
I would say to Greg.
414
00:20:08,208 --> 00:20:10,167
You are going to prom with
the love of your life.
415
00:20:10,250 --> 00:20:12,500
Or as close as we can get.
We're gonna find you a girl.
416
00:20:12,583 --> 00:20:14,625
I've never even
flirted with a girl.
417
00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:16,188
I'm just supposed
to ask one to prom?
418
00:20:16,250 --> 00:20:18,268
I get why prom with a dude
doesn't seem so exciting.
419
00:20:18,292 --> 00:20:20,417
But what about prom with
the girl of your dreams
420
00:20:20,500 --> 00:20:22,583
who you get to maybe
finger in the limo later?
421
00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:28,292
That's your finger.
422
00:20:29,042 --> 00:20:30,722
I do want to finger
the girl of my dreams.
423
00:20:32,625 --> 00:20:34,500
He has to be hot. Or at
least hotter than Luca.
424
00:20:34,583 --> 00:20:36,417
Anything less is proof I'm ugly.
425
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:40,417
Oh, my God, what
about Eric Stevens?
426
00:20:40,500 --> 00:20:42,018
- Who?
- That kid who brought a can
427
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:43,434
of Whiskas for lunch
in ninth grade.
428
00:20:43,458 --> 00:20:45,125
You mean Cat Stevens?
429
00:20:45,208 --> 00:20:46,917
Oh, my God! Amar.
430
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,351
His parents have a private jet,
and just broke up with Lisa.
431
00:20:49,375 --> 00:20:51,583
Okay, yes. Calling him now.
432
00:20:51,667 --> 00:20:52,750
Genius.
433
00:20:54,583 --> 00:20:56,750
I can't believe they used
the one where I sneezed.
434
00:20:56,833 --> 00:21:00,042
Amar. I just was wondering
who you're going to prom with.
435
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,583
Yeah, no, that's great.
I totally get it.
436
00:21:02,667 --> 00:21:05,125
I'm so glad you two worked it
out because I heard that...
437
00:21:05,208 --> 00:21:06,968
I-I heard a rumor that
she's cheating on you.
438
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:09,375
No, you didn't.
439
00:21:09,458 --> 00:21:11,208
- I did.
- Yeah, you fucking did.
440
00:21:13,417 --> 00:21:15,417
Okay. Ooh! Angie Adams.
441
00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:17,143
- She's perfect.
- Are you kidding me?
442
00:21:17,167 --> 00:21:19,351
I would die to come out at prom
with someone as cool as her.
443
00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:22,458
Look, I might as well DM Sarah
Paulson and ask her to prom.
444
00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:24,667
- Hannah.
- It would never happen.
445
00:21:24,750 --> 00:21:25,917
Fine.
446
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:33,655
Take this away from me.
447
00:21:34,250 --> 00:21:35,458
Time to text Melissa Kelly.
448
00:21:35,542 --> 00:21:36,875
- Okay, give it back.
- Mm.
449
00:21:40,458 --> 00:21:41,917
"Hey.
450
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:46,125
"Do you wanna go to prom?
451
00:21:46,542 --> 00:21:48,333
With me?"
452
00:21:49,792 --> 00:21:50,833
- Mm, mm!
- What? What?
453
00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:52,042
She's typing.
454
00:21:54,083 --> 00:21:55,323
- Come on!
- No!
455
00:21:55,375 --> 00:21:56,667
That is a lie!
456
00:21:56,750 --> 00:21:59,292
She hit, like, 42
home runs this year.
457
00:21:59,375 --> 00:22:00,667
God.
458
00:22:01,667 --> 00:22:02,750
Bitch.
459
00:22:03,042 --> 00:22:04,917
Hey.
460
00:22:11,458 --> 00:22:14,000
If we can't find anyone in high
school, let's go to college.
461
00:22:14,083 --> 00:22:17,875
Scarlet Knights forever!
I'm never gonna die! Woo!
462
00:22:35,208 --> 00:22:36,292
Thank you!
463
00:22:45,708 --> 00:22:48,167
We get in, we ask
someone, we get out.
464
00:22:48,250 --> 00:22:49,601
I'm having second thoughts.
465
00:22:49,625 --> 00:22:50,958
Maybe we should just go home.
466
00:22:51,042 --> 00:22:52,518
- I kinda want to go home.
- It's too late.
467
00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:54,000
Okay.
468
00:22:55,292 --> 00:22:56,958
Vodka Heather!
469
00:22:57,042 --> 00:22:58,042
Jess.
470
00:22:58,125 --> 00:23:00,375
What the fuck is up?
471
00:23:00,458 --> 00:23:02,458
Damn, I haven't seen
you since summer camp.
472
00:23:02,542 --> 00:23:03,875
I didn't know you were hot now.
473
00:23:03,958 --> 00:23:06,125
Oh, thank you.
474
00:23:06,208 --> 00:23:07,667
Um, yeah, no, anyway,
475
00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:10,083
thanks, uh... thank you for
sending the address by the way.
476
00:23:10,167 --> 00:23:12,375
We've had kind of,
like, a crazy night
477
00:23:12,458 --> 00:23:13,768
- like you wouldn't believe.
- Crazy.
478
00:23:13,792 --> 00:23:15,125
Yeah, whatever. Take these.
479
00:23:15,208 --> 00:23:16,208
Oh.
480
00:23:16,708 --> 00:23:18,184
In it goes, yeah. Bottoms up.
481
00:23:18,208 --> 00:23:19,583
- Mm-hmm!
- And get in here,
482
00:23:19,667 --> 00:23:21,976
the cops are already on my ass for
pissing on the neighbor's lawn.
483
00:23:23,792 --> 00:23:26,542
Serve and protect this
ass, you fucking cunts!
484
00:23:30,458 --> 00:23:34,000
So, um, are there
any single... guys?
485
00:23:34,667 --> 00:23:35,667
Let's just leave.
486
00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:37,250
Hey, Hannah!
487
00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:39,333
- I don't know what to do, Jess.
- Relax.
488
00:23:39,417 --> 00:23:41,333
How do you even
flirt with a lesbian?
489
00:23:41,417 --> 00:23:43,625
Uh, well, how would you want
someone to flirt with you?
490
00:23:43,708 --> 00:23:45,542
I don't know, by, like, uh,
491
00:23:45,625 --> 00:23:48,833
giving me a-a bunch of different
flowers and they all, like,
492
00:23:48,917 --> 00:23:51,000
represent the different
qualities about me.
493
00:23:51,083 --> 00:23:53,292
Wow, you are gay.
494
00:23:53,375 --> 00:23:55,125
- You're not helping.
- Okay, okay.
495
00:23:55,208 --> 00:23:56,958
Just, just tell them
that they smell nice.
496
00:23:57,042 --> 00:23:59,208
- Everyone wants to hear that.
- Okay, yeah. Good call.
497
00:23:59,292 --> 00:24:00,292
- Yeah?
- Okay.
498
00:24:00,375 --> 00:24:01,375
Okay.
499
00:24:02,500 --> 00:24:04,792
I am gonna go hit on
Timothée Chalamet.
500
00:24:04,875 --> 00:24:07,750
You are gonna find a hot lesbian
and sweep her off her feet.
501
00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:09,208
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
- Yeah? Okay?
502
00:24:09,292 --> 00:24:10,375
- Yep.
- Alright. You ready?
503
00:24:10,458 --> 00:24:11,458
I guess.
504
00:24:11,542 --> 00:24:13,000
- Meet you on the other side.
- Okay.
505
00:24:13,292 --> 00:24:14,375
Okay.
506
00:24:20,500 --> 00:24:22,000
How do I know who's gay?
507
00:24:44,708 --> 00:24:46,208
- Hi, Mommy.
- Did you find her?
508
00:24:47,083 --> 00:24:49,542
No, she wo... she won't
pick up her phone.
509
00:24:49,625 --> 00:24:51,167
I'm talking about Lucy!
510
00:24:51,250 --> 00:24:53,333
I'm worried sick!
That's your sister!
511
00:24:53,417 --> 00:24:55,000
I don't care about the damn dog!
512
00:24:55,583 --> 00:24:57,250
I'm chasing the love of my life.
513
00:24:58,625 --> 00:25:00,667
Oh, God.
514
00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:03,083
Hannah, please.
515
00:25:03,417 --> 00:25:04,875
I know I come on strong,
516
00:25:04,958 --> 00:25:07,875
but it's just because of the
amount of love I have in my heart.
517
00:25:07,958 --> 00:25:09,708
Hey, she's not here.
518
00:25:09,792 --> 00:25:11,583
Last I heard, she
was with you. I...
519
00:25:14,792 --> 00:25:16,208
- Okay.
- She's-She's not with me.
520
00:25:16,292 --> 00:25:18,250
- She's not.
- Are you okay?
521
00:25:18,333 --> 00:25:19,833
I don't know.
522
00:25:20,333 --> 00:25:22,833
I'm probably pretty
dehydrated because...
523
00:25:23,625 --> 00:25:25,167
I've been crying a lot.
524
00:25:25,708 --> 00:25:27,125
- A lot.
- Okay, okay, okay.
525
00:25:27,208 --> 00:25:29,750
Um, you stay here, okay?
526
00:25:29,833 --> 00:25:31,184
I'm gonna get you
some water. Okay?
527
00:25:31,208 --> 00:25:32,292
- Okay.
- Okay.
528
00:25:32,375 --> 00:25:34,042
You gonna be okay?
529
00:25:34,125 --> 00:25:35,333
- Uh, yeah.
- You sure?
530
00:25:35,417 --> 00:25:36,542
- Yeah.
- Okay.
531
00:25:37,750 --> 00:25:39,125
Think happy thoughts.
532
00:25:39,208 --> 00:25:41,333
No!
533
00:25:47,875 --> 00:25:49,542
♪ Like a Wall Street widow ♪
534
00:25:50,917 --> 00:25:52,000
That's a good one.
535
00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:53,708
You an Angel Olsen fan?
536
00:25:56,167 --> 00:25:58,083
Are you an Angel Olsen fan?
537
00:26:00,417 --> 00:26:01,458
Oh.
538
00:26:01,542 --> 00:26:04,458
Oh, oh, oh, oh, si, si. Um...
539
00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:15,833
- Hmm.
- Um, so, yeah, so I know some basics.
540
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:19,333
Giancarlo.
541
00:26:19,417 --> 00:26:21,125
I like that.
542
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:32,500
Totally.
543
00:26:33,125 --> 00:26:34,500
Hey, do you want to get a drink?
544
00:26:34,583 --> 00:26:38,375
♪ Find myself in a taxi ride ♪
545
00:26:38,458 --> 00:26:41,750
I got this. I got this.
546
00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:43,792
♪ Forget my apartment ♪
547
00:26:43,875 --> 00:26:44,875
Hey.
548
00:26:46,208 --> 00:26:47,375
What's up?
549
00:26:48,333 --> 00:26:51,583
♪ I take no shit from no one,
robbed two banks in Puerto Rico ♪
550
00:26:51,667 --> 00:26:52,792
Oh.
551
00:26:54,250 --> 00:26:56,958
After you. After you.
552
00:26:57,042 --> 00:26:58,125
After me.
553
00:27:00,917 --> 00:27:03,500
Awesome party, you
guys. Really killer.
554
00:27:04,167 --> 00:27:05,417
Hi. Hi.
555
00:27:09,333 --> 00:27:10,750
Hey. How's it...
556
00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:12,833
♪ Yes, sir, been misbehaving ♪
557
00:27:12,917 --> 00:27:15,333
- Dammit.
- ♪ It's the law ♪
558
00:27:18,292 --> 00:27:21,583
♪ Oh, when the
day's been calling ♪
559
00:27:21,667 --> 00:27:24,583
- ♪ Find myself in a taxi ride ♪
- Um...
560
00:27:24,667 --> 00:27:26,458
Uh, you smell really good.
561
00:27:27,750 --> 00:27:30,000
Oh, sweetheart. I'm a twink.
562
00:27:30,083 --> 00:27:32,250
- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
563
00:27:32,333 --> 00:27:34,875
- Oh, my God.
- Now I know I look good.
564
00:27:36,625 --> 00:27:37,792
I'm so sorry.
565
00:27:40,833 --> 00:27:44,292
♪ Waking in an old cell block ♪
566
00:27:44,375 --> 00:27:46,208
♪ Forget my apartment ♪
567
00:27:46,292 --> 00:27:50,500
♪ You won't find me ♪
568
00:27:53,208 --> 00:27:54,458
Oh, I'm sorry.
569
00:27:54,542 --> 00:27:56,083
- Get in here.
- No, no, no, it's okay.
570
00:27:56,167 --> 00:27:58,167
- I really don't...
- Get the fuck in here.
571
00:27:59,083 --> 00:28:00,292
Move.
572
00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:05,750
Mm.
573
00:28:06,167 --> 00:28:08,250
You look stressed.
You want some molly?
574
00:28:08,333 --> 00:28:11,333
Actually, I'm trying to
cut back. But thank you.
575
00:28:14,042 --> 00:28:15,167
I'm gonna go find Jess.
576
00:28:15,250 --> 00:28:17,000
You need to get high.
577
00:28:17,625 --> 00:28:18,875
- What?
- Here.
578
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:26,083
You know, I used to
be just like you.
579
00:28:26,667 --> 00:28:30,000
Sad, no confidence, wetting
the bed all the time.
580
00:28:30,083 --> 00:28:31,167
I don't wet the bed.
581
00:28:31,250 --> 00:28:32,410
Until I became Vodka Heather.
582
00:28:32,792 --> 00:28:34,292
Vodka Heather can do anything.
583
00:28:34,542 --> 00:28:35,542
Watch this.
584
00:28:35,625 --> 00:28:37,792
Whoa! Don't do that!
585
00:28:38,292 --> 00:28:39,583
Kiss each other.
586
00:28:41,167 --> 00:28:43,667
- See?
- Yeah, I don't think I want what you have.
587
00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:45,625
You do. It's all
about confidence.
588
00:28:45,708 --> 00:28:48,167
Substance-induced confidence.
589
00:28:48,250 --> 00:28:51,458
Don't you think talking to girls would
be a lot easier if you were confident?
590
00:28:55,083 --> 00:28:56,268
Fuck it.
591
00:28:56,292 --> 00:28:58,500
That's the spirit.
Gimme your keys.
592
00:29:06,292 --> 00:29:07,972
Get down here. Come on.
593
00:29:12,792 --> 00:29:14,292
Open wide.
594
00:29:18,583 --> 00:29:20,583
So? How do you feel?
595
00:29:21,958 --> 00:29:23,292
Gay as hell.
596
00:29:23,375 --> 00:29:25,208
So, do you study
film with Heather?
597
00:29:26,917 --> 00:29:27,917
Mm.
598
00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:35,125
Yeah, same.
599
00:29:49,417 --> 00:29:50,417
Yeah.
600
00:29:50,917 --> 00:29:53,708
Yeah. Hey, do you wanna
go somewhere else to talk?
601
00:29:54,625 --> 00:29:56,000
- Absolutely.
- Okay.
602
00:29:56,833 --> 00:29:59,000
It's time. Go get 'em, tiger.
603
00:29:59,083 --> 00:30:01,292
Wait, how do I know who's gay?
604
00:30:01,708 --> 00:30:04,417
Uh, it's a first-year
college party.
605
00:30:04,833 --> 00:30:06,042
Everyone's gay.
606
00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:08,000
Okay.
607
00:30:10,333 --> 00:30:13,625
- ♪ Yeah! ♪
- ♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪
608
00:30:13,708 --> 00:30:14,875
♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪
609
00:30:14,958 --> 00:30:17,333
♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪
610
00:30:17,417 --> 00:30:18,417
♪ Oh oh oh ♪
611
00:30:18,500 --> 00:30:21,000
♪ Ah ah ah ah ah ah ♪
612
00:30:21,083 --> 00:30:26,208
♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
oh oh, oh oh oh oh ♪
613
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:31,375
♪ Oh oh oh, oh oh oh
oh, oh oh oh oh oh ♪
614
00:30:31,458 --> 00:30:32,667
♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
615
00:30:32,750 --> 00:30:36,250
♪ Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh ♪
616
00:30:36,333 --> 00:30:39,958
♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪
617
00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:50,208
♪ Ah ah ah ah ah, ah ah ♪
618
00:30:50,292 --> 00:30:54,250
♪ Oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, ah ah ♪
619
00:30:54,333 --> 00:30:55,708
♪ Ah ah ah ♪
620
00:30:58,333 --> 00:30:59,542
You here alone?
621
00:31:00,292 --> 00:31:01,292
Yeah.
622
00:31:03,458 --> 00:31:04,792
Not anymore.
623
00:31:06,542 --> 00:31:08,208
Oh. Ooh.
624
00:31:08,292 --> 00:31:10,792
Interesting.
625
00:31:10,875 --> 00:31:13,583
Um, yeah, no, u-uh, sorry.
626
00:31:13,667 --> 00:31:15,042
I-I'm sorry if I
was too forward,
627
00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:16,845
I just, I just wanted
to ask you a question
628
00:31:21,583 --> 00:31:23,042
Okay.
629
00:31:23,917 --> 00:31:25,292
Yeah, no, I was wondering
630
00:31:25,375 --> 00:31:27,875
if maybe you're
free tomorrow to...
631
00:31:27,958 --> 00:31:28,958
Oh, okay.
632
00:31:29,042 --> 00:31:31,792
Yeah, do a little
more of that. Um...
633
00:31:38,375 --> 00:31:39,875
Thank you.
634
00:31:52,042 --> 00:31:53,167
Oh, hell yeah.
635
00:31:53,958 --> 00:31:55,125
Okay, my turn.
636
00:31:58,625 --> 00:31:59,625
Cool fanny pack.
637
00:32:00,958 --> 00:32:02,625
- Hot.
- Yeah, it's whatever.
638
00:32:05,667 --> 00:32:06,667
Fuck.
639
00:32:07,083 --> 00:32:09,250
You know, actually, I prefer
to do it with them on.
640
00:32:10,500 --> 00:32:12,125
Who are you?
641
00:32:12,625 --> 00:32:14,583
I'm Hannah
motherfuckin' Shapiro.
642
00:32:15,292 --> 00:32:17,583
Wait. My last name's Shapiro.
643
00:32:17,667 --> 00:32:20,027
It's a pretty common last
name. Where are you from?
644
00:32:20,708 --> 00:32:22,708
Seattle.
645
00:32:23,083 --> 00:32:24,625
Wait. What's your dad's name?
646
00:32:25,208 --> 00:32:26,208
Nate.
647
00:32:27,042 --> 00:32:28,208
With the restaurant?
648
00:32:29,708 --> 00:32:31,750
- Yes.
- We're second cousins.
649
00:32:34,083 --> 00:32:35,083
No, we can't...
650
00:32:36,375 --> 00:32:38,167
Wait, was your bat
mitzvah theme Twilight?
651
00:32:38,250 --> 00:32:39,476
Oh, my God, yeah.
652
00:32:39,500 --> 00:32:41,226
I guess this is why people
have family reunions.
653
00:32:41,250 --> 00:32:43,351
Oh, my God. Thank God.
654
00:32:43,375 --> 00:32:44,934
- Holy shit.
- You wanna just, uh, pretend
655
00:32:44,958 --> 00:32:46,309
- this never happened?
- Hundred percent.
656
00:32:46,333 --> 00:32:47,333
Yeah.
657
00:32:47,417 --> 00:32:49,042
Hey, did you know
Aunt Marsha died?
658
00:32:49,125 --> 00:32:50,500
Jesus. Bad time.
659
00:32:53,042 --> 00:32:56,500
We got a complaint that this
house was blasting Charli XCX,
660
00:32:56,583 --> 00:32:58,625
so I know somebody's
snorting drugs in here.
661
00:32:59,167 --> 00:33:00,375
Let's dance.
662
00:33:01,042 --> 00:33:02,125
Shit!
663
00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:06,042
Finally, Christ, you
pay so much for data,
664
00:33:06,125 --> 00:33:07,725
you'd think Google
Translate would work.
665
00:33:08,542 --> 00:33:10,292
Okay, um...
666
00:33:10,375 --> 00:33:11,375
Uh...
667
00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:15,667
- Oh, shit! Sorry.
- Oh, my God!
668
00:33:15,750 --> 00:33:17,708
- Hannah!
- The cops are here! We gotta go!
669
00:33:30,292 --> 00:33:31,572
Was that guy trying to kill you?
670
00:33:31,625 --> 00:33:33,476
Look, it was either that or
intense sexual chemistry,
671
00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:34,601
and I was willing to find out.
672
00:33:34,625 --> 00:33:35,768
Oh, come on.
673
00:33:35,792 --> 00:33:36,917
Eat glass, pigs.
674
00:33:37,250 --> 00:33:38,833
Run!
675
00:33:38,917 --> 00:33:39,917
Great party!
676
00:33:47,792 --> 00:33:48,792
No, wait. Come on.
677
00:33:52,750 --> 00:33:54,708
Shit, shit, shit. What do we do?
678
00:33:54,792 --> 00:33:56,000
I snorted a bunch of drugs.
679
00:33:56,083 --> 00:33:58,125
If they test me, I'm
going to jail for sure.
680
00:33:58,208 --> 00:33:59,684
What do you think
they're gonna do to me?
681
00:33:59,708 --> 00:34:01,309
I'm a Black teenager
who broke a minor law,
682
00:34:01,333 --> 00:34:02,583
I'm their wet fuckin' dream.
683
00:34:03,667 --> 00:34:05,101
- We gotta go over.
- Oh, fuck.
684
00:34:05,125 --> 00:34:06,809
If we double bounce,
we can get enough air
685
00:34:06,833 --> 00:34:07,833
to clear the fence.
686
00:34:09,875 --> 00:34:11,143
- I got you.
- Okay, okay, thanks.
687
00:34:11,167 --> 00:34:12,458
Okay.
688
00:34:13,458 --> 00:34:15,058
Ready? Ninja kick
over the fence.
689
00:34:15,125 --> 00:34:16,917
- Hiya!
- Yeah, like that, like that. Yeah.
690
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:18,042
- Hiya!
- Ya!
691
00:34:18,125 --> 00:34:19,167
Oh, this is fun!
692
00:34:19,250 --> 00:34:20,583
Hey, shut up!
693
00:34:20,667 --> 00:34:22,601
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I
think I'm still pretty high.
694
00:34:22,625 --> 00:34:24,750
Give me your hands.
Okay, we hop two, turn,
695
00:34:24,833 --> 00:34:26,375
- and count, okay?
- Okay. Ah!
696
00:34:26,792 --> 00:34:29,167
One, two, three!
697
00:34:37,375 --> 00:34:39,375
Holy shit. Oh, my God.
698
00:34:40,500 --> 00:34:41,625
We fucking did it!
699
00:34:41,708 --> 00:34:42,750
You're a genius!
700
00:34:42,833 --> 00:34:44,167
I never should have doubted you.
701
00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:49,542
Are you
702
00:34:52,250 --> 00:34:53,458
girls?
703
00:34:54,333 --> 00:34:55,667
Yes.
704
00:35:05,667 --> 00:35:07,167
Alright, pace yourself.
705
00:35:08,792 --> 00:35:10,583
- Thanks, Jacob.
- Yeah.
706
00:35:10,667 --> 00:35:12,067
You have a really
calming presence.
707
00:35:12,125 --> 00:35:15,042
I think it's 'cause
you remind me of, of...
708
00:35:15,125 --> 00:35:17,458
O-Okay, okay, okay. Hey, hey,
hey, it's okay, it's okay.
709
00:35:17,542 --> 00:35:20,917
Look, I-I'm-I'm sure everything
is, is gonna work out
710
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,292
exactly how it's
supposed to, you know?
711
00:35:23,375 --> 00:35:25,335
And ma-maybe Hannah just
needs some time to think.
712
00:35:25,417 --> 00:35:27,518
You know, hav-haven't you
ever needed time away from her
713
00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:29,458
- to-to-to process or just...
- No.
714
00:35:30,083 --> 00:35:31,667
I would live in her
pocket if I could.
715
00:35:32,667 --> 00:35:34,750
Okay. Okay.
716
00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:37,000
- I'm-I'm sorry, Jacob.
- It's just...
717
00:35:37,083 --> 00:35:38,643
- No, no. It's...
- I don't mean to be a burden.
718
00:35:38,667 --> 00:35:41,333
I just, I-I can't
be alone right now.
719
00:35:42,375 --> 00:35:43,500
I just can't.
720
00:35:44,042 --> 00:35:46,375
Hey, um, I was gonna go
to a concert tonight.
721
00:35:46,708 --> 00:35:48,167
Do you want to come
with me to that?
722
00:35:48,250 --> 00:35:49,750
- Thank you!
- Oh!
723
00:35:49,833 --> 00:35:51,333
Oh, please.
724
00:35:52,500 --> 00:35:54,375
- Okay.
- Can we hold hands in the car?
725
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,083
Oh, your hair's
straight again. Cool.
726
00:36:01,083 --> 00:36:03,417
Uh... thanks.
727
00:36:04,375 --> 00:36:06,875
Sorry we had to crash your
party. We kind of had no choice.
728
00:36:06,958 --> 00:36:09,838
But, you know, without you guys, we
probably would be arrested right now.
729
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:11,625
Actually, I'd say
us somersaulting
730
00:36:11,708 --> 00:36:13,668
through the air is what
saved us, but, you know...
731
00:36:14,375 --> 00:36:16,042
Yeah, thank you so much.
732
00:36:16,125 --> 00:36:18,958
Are you kidding? You babes
are the ones helping us out.
733
00:36:19,042 --> 00:36:21,268
This was supposed to be our
frat's big end of year kegger,
734
00:36:21,292 --> 00:36:24,250
but, none of the sororities
we invited showed up, so...
735
00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:26,417
One, two, three.
736
00:36:27,583 --> 00:36:29,042
For the boys!
737
00:36:29,125 --> 00:36:30,685
You're not coming tonight?
738
00:36:30,833 --> 00:36:34,167
Okay, looks like I took that
mandatory consent course for nothing.
739
00:36:36,917 --> 00:36:38,042
Wonder why.
740
00:36:38,542 --> 00:36:41,167
- I'm Jess by the way.
- Reggie.
741
00:36:41,542 --> 00:36:43,792
So, do you ladies want me
to get you some drinks?
742
00:36:43,875 --> 00:36:45,167
Um, we should really be going.
743
00:36:45,250 --> 00:36:48,042
And our parents know
our exact locations,
744
00:36:48,125 --> 00:36:49,958
so they'd be able to find us
745
00:36:50,042 --> 00:36:52,542
if for some reason we
were blocked from leaving.
746
00:36:53,792 --> 00:36:57,333
- Huh.
- She's just...
747
00:36:57,417 --> 00:36:59,042
She's just kidding.
748
00:36:59,125 --> 00:37:01,792
Hannah, Hannah, can I, can I
talk to you over there for a sec?
749
00:37:09,167 --> 00:37:11,250
- I think we should stay.
- Are you serious?
750
00:37:11,333 --> 00:37:14,333
Frat bros are, like, the
most rapey subgroup of men.
751
00:37:14,917 --> 00:37:17,250
I don't get that vibe from
Reggie. He seems honest.
752
00:37:17,625 --> 00:37:19,833
God, you have
horrible taste in men.
753
00:37:19,917 --> 00:37:21,542
I promise I'll be quick, okay?
754
00:37:21,625 --> 00:37:24,018
I'm ju... I'll-I'll just feel him
out and then ask him right away.
755
00:37:24,042 --> 00:37:28,125
And then we can find the
gayest, queerest co-op
756
00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:31,167
slash poetry slam slash vegan
restaurant you can imagine.
757
00:37:31,500 --> 00:37:33,500
Come on, he's a hot college guy.
758
00:37:33,583 --> 00:37:36,000
Everyone would freak if
I brought him to prom.
759
00:37:36,083 --> 00:37:37,208
Please, Hans.
760
00:37:37,375 --> 00:37:38,375
Fine.
761
00:37:38,750 --> 00:37:40,500
- You're the best.
- I know.
762
00:37:41,208 --> 00:37:42,375
Hey, wanna play beer pong?
763
00:37:42,458 --> 00:37:44,167
Rock 'n' roll.
Table's this way.
764
00:37:44,750 --> 00:37:46,125
Okay, you know what?
765
00:37:46,208 --> 00:37:48,500
Keep your location
on, just in case.
766
00:37:48,583 --> 00:37:49,750
Yes, Mommy.
767
00:37:55,875 --> 00:37:57,809
Hey, so I was
wondering if maybe...
768
00:37:57,833 --> 00:38:00,125
- I'm gay.
- Coolio. Cool.
769
00:38:00,833 --> 00:38:01,917
Gay is good.
770
00:38:02,667 --> 00:38:05,000
- In... So you're into sports, then?
- I'm gonna go inside.
771
00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:06,333
Yeah. Right on.
772
00:38:12,292 --> 00:38:14,018
The childhood nursery rhyme.
773
00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:18,333
"Lemur Lemur, Femur Femur"
has long delighted fans
774
00:38:18,417 --> 00:38:23,167
of these petite, wide-eyed, sharply
snouted coconut enthusiasts.
775
00:38:23,250 --> 00:38:26,083
While some lemurs are
active during the day,
776
00:38:26,167 --> 00:38:28,208
some can be quite
active at night...
777
00:38:41,500 --> 00:38:42,500
Ugh.
778
00:39:05,625 --> 00:39:07,458
Oh, fuck.
779
00:39:26,917 --> 00:39:28,208
Ugh!
780
00:39:31,042 --> 00:39:33,226
- Damn, you're pretty good at this.
- What can I say?
781
00:39:33,250 --> 00:39:36,167
When I know what I want, nothing
stops me from getting it.
782
00:39:36,250 --> 00:39:38,875
Same. You know, I actually
didn't get into college,
783
00:39:38,958 --> 00:39:40,875
so I just started showing
up to the classes.
784
00:39:40,958 --> 00:39:42,375
Now they have to
give me a degree.
785
00:39:42,458 --> 00:39:45,292
Mm. You wanna play
another round?
786
00:39:45,375 --> 00:39:46,625
Let's do it.
787
00:39:46,708 --> 00:39:48,750
The stripper's here!
788
00:39:51,417 --> 00:39:54,375
Uh, wanna go up to
my room instead?
789
00:39:54,458 --> 00:39:55,958
Yeah. Uh, sure.
790
00:39:56,042 --> 00:39:57,167
Alright, cool.
791
00:39:58,375 --> 00:40:01,309
Alright, Jess, it's time to get freaky.
Time to get freaky for a prom date.
792
00:40:02,500 --> 00:40:04,018
I feel like a woman
in STEM right now.
793
00:40:04,042 --> 00:40:05,917
Fucking sisters doin'
it for themselves.
794
00:40:06,417 --> 00:40:07,417
Okay.
795
00:40:25,208 --> 00:40:26,333
Jesus.
796
00:40:26,417 --> 00:40:28,292
Uh, s-sorry. Guess I'll just...
797
00:40:28,375 --> 00:40:32,000
Um, can I... Can...
798
00:40:32,792 --> 00:40:33,792
Fuck.
799
00:40:36,792 --> 00:40:38,833
Alright, listen up, boys!
800
00:40:38,917 --> 00:40:40,042
This is Lexi.
801
00:40:40,125 --> 00:40:41,125
Hi.
802
00:40:41,208 --> 00:40:43,792
Uh, tip well and be respectful
'cause she's a dancer
803
00:40:43,875 --> 00:40:46,208
from the only company that
hasn't blacklisted our frat yet.
804
00:40:48,583 --> 00:40:49,708
Oh, thanks.
805
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:57,833
Oh, sh... Okay.
806
00:40:57,917 --> 00:40:59,000
Oh, my God. Um...
807
00:40:59,083 --> 00:41:00,083
♪ Baby, I'm hot ♪
808
00:41:00,167 --> 00:41:02,500
♪ Y'all need to set your
watch after my clock ♪
809
00:41:02,583 --> 00:41:04,375
♪ So what, baby I'm hot ♪
810
00:41:04,458 --> 00:41:06,917
♪ Y'all need to set your
watch after my clock ♪
811
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:08,292
♪ Clock, tick tock... ♪
812
00:41:08,375 --> 00:41:09,500
Wow.
813
00:41:10,792 --> 00:41:12,000
You're quite the athlete.
814
00:41:12,333 --> 00:41:13,417
Thanks.
815
00:41:13,500 --> 00:41:15,250
I know, my coach says
one more concussion
816
00:41:15,333 --> 00:41:16,601
and I'll have to
learn to read again.
817
00:41:16,625 --> 00:41:18,000
Oh, that's awful.
818
00:41:18,083 --> 00:41:19,125
I know.
819
00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:21,075
It was so hard the first time.
820
00:41:22,917 --> 00:41:24,375
Wanna come sit?
821
00:41:24,458 --> 00:41:27,000
I actually need a little
help with something.
822
00:41:27,958 --> 00:41:29,042
Yes.
823
00:41:29,458 --> 00:41:31,298
Just sitting on your bed.
824
00:41:32,333 --> 00:41:34,125
Okay. Uh...
825
00:41:41,167 --> 00:41:43,542
Sorry, they're here somewhere.
826
00:41:43,625 --> 00:41:46,208
Oh, no, take your time.
Protection is key.
827
00:41:48,667 --> 00:41:49,833
♪ What you want? ♪
828
00:41:49,917 --> 00:41:51,292
♪ He can speak,
but you know... ♪
829
00:41:51,375 --> 00:41:54,083
Um, my bubbe gave me this hundred
dollars for graduating. Just...
830
00:41:54,500 --> 00:41:56,042
Aren't you generous?
831
00:41:56,125 --> 00:41:58,208
Boobies! Boobies!
832
00:41:58,292 --> 00:42:01,167
Boobies! Boobies! Boobies!
833
00:42:01,250 --> 00:42:03,500
Boobies! Boobies!
834
00:42:03,583 --> 00:42:07,708
Boobies! Boobies!
Boobies! Boobies!
835
00:42:07,792 --> 00:42:10,083
There they are.
836
00:42:10,750 --> 00:42:12,500
- Let's go.
- I'm ready.
837
00:42:13,583 --> 00:42:14,583
What?
838
00:42:15,167 --> 00:42:17,500
I wanted your help to
write an email to my mom.
839
00:42:18,167 --> 00:42:19,607
- What?
- All the concussions make me
840
00:42:19,667 --> 00:42:21,125
super sensitive to light.
841
00:42:21,208 --> 00:42:22,208
Did I say that already?
842
00:42:22,292 --> 00:42:24,833
I-I can't look at a screen
for more than 10 minutes.
843
00:42:24,917 --> 00:42:27,417
Oh. Yeah, no. Uh...
844
00:42:27,500 --> 00:42:29,792
That's... I, I just thought...
845
00:42:29,875 --> 00:42:31,625
Uh, I mean...
846
00:42:33,333 --> 00:42:34,583
we can do it if you want.
847
00:42:35,167 --> 00:42:37,917
Um, actually, uh, I-I
was just, I was gonna see
848
00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:39,333
if you wanted to go to prom?
849
00:42:39,417 --> 00:42:42,000
Wait, you want to go to
prom with me? I'd love to.
850
00:42:42,083 --> 00:42:43,625
Boobies! Boobies!
851
00:42:43,708 --> 00:42:45,625
Boobies! Boobies!
852
00:42:45,708 --> 00:42:46,875
Will you go to prom with me?
853
00:42:46,958 --> 00:42:48,375
What was that, sweetheart?
854
00:42:48,458 --> 00:42:49,958
Boobies! Boobies!
855
00:42:50,042 --> 00:42:51,583
Boobies! Boobies!
856
00:42:51,667 --> 00:42:53,375
Boobies! Boobies!
857
00:42:53,458 --> 00:42:54,458
Are you serious?
858
00:42:54,542 --> 00:42:56,792
Yeah. We'll have the
best night of our lives.
859
00:42:59,542 --> 00:43:00,542
Reggie?
860
00:43:00,625 --> 00:43:02,125
Boobies! Boobies!
861
00:43:02,208 --> 00:43:05,333
I get the feeling
that you boys want me
862
00:43:05,417 --> 00:43:06,417
to take my top off.
863
00:43:06,500 --> 00:43:08,458
Yeah!
864
00:43:08,542 --> 00:43:11,142
No, no, no, no, no. That's okay.
You really don't have to do that.
865
00:43:21,417 --> 00:43:22,583
♪ Clock, ding dong ♪
866
00:43:22,667 --> 00:43:25,458
♪ Y'all need to set your
watch after my clock ♪
867
00:43:53,792 --> 00:43:56,542
I don't feel so good.
868
00:44:00,250 --> 00:44:01,708
What?
869
00:44:02,542 --> 00:44:04,375
I said...
870
00:44:05,333 --> 00:44:09,292
I don't feel so
871
00:44:09,792 --> 00:44:11,292
Oh!
872
00:44:11,667 --> 00:44:12,667
Reggie?
873
00:44:14,042 --> 00:44:16,417
Help! Help!
874
00:44:17,917 --> 00:44:19,597
♪ B ut you know I'm
hangin' up the phone ♪
875
00:44:19,625 --> 00:44:21,750
♪ And if I really
gotta do it on my own ♪
876
00:44:21,833 --> 00:44:24,583
♪ I tell him so what,
I'm better off alone ♪
877
00:44:24,667 --> 00:44:26,250
♪ So what, baby I'm hot ♪
878
00:44:26,333 --> 00:44:27,667
Are you okay, sweetie?
879
00:44:28,792 --> 00:44:30,375
Oh!
880
00:44:30,458 --> 00:44:31,750
♪ Baby, I'm hot ♪
881
00:44:31,833 --> 00:44:34,125
♪ Y'all need to set your
watch after my clock ♪
882
00:44:34,208 --> 00:44:35,417
Oh, my God.
883
00:44:42,667 --> 00:44:45,167
No. No, no, no. No.
884
00:44:45,583 --> 00:44:47,708
You're gonna get us blacklisted.
885
00:44:49,875 --> 00:44:52,583
- Oh!
- I'm so sorry.
886
00:44:58,292 --> 00:45:00,250
- Jess?
- Help!
887
00:45:00,333 --> 00:45:01,417
- Jess?
- Hannah!
888
00:45:01,500 --> 00:45:02,833
Jess! I hear you!
889
00:45:02,917 --> 00:45:04,333
- Jess?
- Hannah, I'm over here!
890
00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:07,101
Oh, my God.
891
00:45:07,125 --> 00:45:08,245
Oh, I thought you were dead.
892
00:45:09,333 --> 00:45:10,833
What happened?
893
00:45:12,083 --> 00:45:13,500
- Oh, my God!
- Hannah!
894
00:45:13,583 --> 00:45:14,934
Get off my best
friend, you creep!
895
00:45:16,708 --> 00:45:17,750
I saved you.
896
00:45:17,833 --> 00:45:20,500
No, you idiot, he was
gonna go to prom with me!
897
00:45:20,583 --> 00:45:22,083
Why were you screaming for help?
898
00:45:22,167 --> 00:45:23,917
- Are you bleeding?
- Yes! We need to leave.
899
00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:25,184
- Like, now!
- Okay, okay, okay.
900
00:45:25,208 --> 00:45:26,488
- Just get him off of me.
- Okay!
901
00:45:28,458 --> 00:45:29,792
Pardon me.
902
00:45:29,875 --> 00:45:30,934
- Oh, my foot, my foot.
- Okay.
903
00:45:30,958 --> 00:45:32,000
No, I got you. I got you.
904
00:45:32,083 --> 00:45:33,083
- Come here.
- Okay.
905
00:45:33,167 --> 00:45:34,518
- Yep. Pull, just pull.
- Ah!
906
00:45:34,542 --> 00:45:35,792
My God!
907
00:45:35,875 --> 00:45:37,000
You don't need to scream.
908
00:45:37,417 --> 00:45:38,875
- Okay, let's go. Come on.
- Okay.
909
00:45:38,958 --> 00:45:40,292
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
910
00:45:40,875 --> 00:45:41,917
One second.
911
00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:47,601
Hey, can you get a
landscape of us...
912
00:45:47,625 --> 00:45:49,476
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Okay, okay, okay, okay!
913
00:45:50,583 --> 00:45:52,833
Oh, my God, I was so close.
914
00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:54,083
What happened back there?
915
00:45:54,708 --> 00:45:55,833
Well, let me think.
916
00:45:55,917 --> 00:46:00,375
Um, you ditched me for a man
with the IQ of a ham sandwich,
917
00:46:00,458 --> 00:46:04,208
and then I sneezed blood all
over a beautiful woman, so...
918
00:46:04,292 --> 00:46:05,292
Fuck.
919
00:46:05,833 --> 00:46:07,083
You know what, I'm just...
920
00:46:08,792 --> 00:46:11,708
This night is over, and I'm
just, I'm gonna go home.
921
00:46:14,333 --> 00:46:15,708
Where are my keys?
922
00:46:17,667 --> 00:46:19,250
Where the fuck are my...
923
00:46:19,333 --> 00:46:20,333
Fuck!
924
00:46:20,917 --> 00:46:23,375
Oh, my God, I left them at
Heather's after doing that bump.
925
00:46:23,458 --> 00:46:24,726
Hannah. It's okay.
926
00:46:24,750 --> 00:46:26,476
We're just gonna find
another party really quick,
927
00:46:26,500 --> 00:46:28,476
I'm gonna grab a date, and
then boom, we're out of there.
928
00:46:28,500 --> 00:46:29,958
What the fuck are
you talking about?
929
00:46:30,042 --> 00:46:33,500
I fucked my face,
Jess. It's over.
930
00:46:33,583 --> 00:46:35,143
- Hannah, come on, let's just...
- No, no.
931
00:46:35,167 --> 00:46:36,809
We're meeting up with
Jacob to grab his keys.
932
00:46:36,833 --> 00:46:39,708
And then you can do
whatever you want, okay?
933
00:46:39,792 --> 00:46:41,625
Wait. Wait, you're
calling Jacob?
934
00:46:45,125 --> 00:46:46,792
♪ You had your chance,
now set me free ♪
935
00:46:46,875 --> 00:46:49,750
♪ There's nothing left,
I've got to leave ♪
936
00:46:49,833 --> 00:46:52,417
♪ And now when you
reach out, you'll see ♪
937
00:46:52,500 --> 00:46:56,167
- ♪ I won't be by your side ♪
- Chug! Chug! Chug!
938
00:46:56,250 --> 00:46:57,875
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
939
00:46:57,958 --> 00:47:00,917
♪ I can't be by your side ♪
940
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:03,184
That's something that you
gotta learn as a young person.
941
00:47:03,208 --> 00:47:05,125
But they told me that
my cartilage is too weak
942
00:47:05,208 --> 00:47:06,500
to handle a punch.
943
00:47:06,583 --> 00:47:09,458
Oh, speaking of fighting, I
actually asked Mr. Sanchez
944
00:47:09,542 --> 00:47:12,167
to pair me and Hannah up
in the self-defense class.
945
00:47:12,250 --> 00:47:14,500
Little did I know she
has a mean right hook.
946
00:47:14,583 --> 00:47:16,375
Knocked me clean out. Concussed.
947
00:47:16,458 --> 00:47:17,542
Never been the same.
948
00:47:17,625 --> 00:47:20,375
But she actually carried
me to the nurse's office,
949
00:47:20,458 --> 00:47:21,542
and that was that.
950
00:47:21,625 --> 00:47:24,417
That's when I knew she
was the one for me.
951
00:47:24,500 --> 00:47:27,375
I actually still have that gym
shirt with the blood on it.
952
00:47:27,458 --> 00:47:29,333
- Yeah, I never washed it.
- Wow.
953
00:47:29,417 --> 00:47:30,875
Never will wash it, actually.
954
00:47:30,958 --> 00:47:33,250
- Yeah.
- Wow, that-that is crazy.
955
00:47:33,792 --> 00:47:37,667
Hey, um, why don't you go grab
us some drinks from the bar?
956
00:47:37,750 --> 00:47:40,083
- Huh?
- Oh, no problemo, Jakey.
957
00:47:40,542 --> 00:47:44,375
You know, it's bonkers that it's taken
us this long to hang out one on one.
958
00:47:44,458 --> 00:47:46,667
We have such great chemistry.
959
00:47:47,375 --> 00:47:48,375
Okay.
960
00:47:48,458 --> 00:47:50,208
♪ By your side! ♪
961
00:47:50,292 --> 00:47:52,208
- Hannah.
- Yo. Where are you on campus?
962
00:47:52,292 --> 00:47:53,500
I need to borrow your keys.
963
00:47:53,583 --> 00:47:55,101
Hannah, let's just,
like, ring the doorbell
964
00:47:55,125 --> 00:47:56,184
until your parents wake up.
965
00:47:56,208 --> 00:47:57,667
Richardson and Wyckoff. Okay.
966
00:47:57,750 --> 00:47:59,750
Yeah, we're, like, 10
minutes' walk from there.
967
00:48:00,708 --> 00:48:02,000
Okay.
968
00:48:02,625 --> 00:48:04,208
Yeah, I'm with her
right now. Why?
969
00:48:04,667 --> 00:48:06,042
What the fuck?
970
00:48:06,500 --> 00:48:07,542
Hello?
971
00:48:08,333 --> 00:48:09,458
Hannah, can...
972
00:48:11,250 --> 00:48:12,333
Okay.
973
00:48:12,417 --> 00:48:13,417
I'm sorry.
974
00:48:13,500 --> 00:48:16,292
If that was some ploy
to try and get me
975
00:48:16,375 --> 00:48:17,708
- to stay out with you...
- No.
976
00:48:17,792 --> 00:48:19,958
Know it extremely isn't working!
977
00:48:20,042 --> 00:48:21,893
I'm sorry, I thought he
was gonna say something.
978
00:48:21,917 --> 00:48:23,167
What are you talking about?
979
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:26,375
I had sex with Jacob.
980
00:48:28,500 --> 00:48:29,542
When?
981
00:48:30,042 --> 00:48:31,667
When we visited him in January.
982
00:48:31,750 --> 00:48:34,917
No, that's when you had your
one-night stand with Johan.
983
00:48:35,625 --> 00:48:36,625
S...
984
00:48:37,750 --> 00:48:39,917
- Johan is Jacob?
- I...
985
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,600
Thanks for making our two-year
anniversary so special.
986
00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:43,625
Boo-boo.
987
00:48:43,708 --> 00:48:45,476
- No, you didn't.
- The night's not over yet.
988
00:48:45,500 --> 00:48:47,393
- Yes, I did. Hannah.
- Why don't you make a wish?
989
00:48:48,958 --> 00:48:51,083
- Okay, I'll make a wish. Okay.
- Throw it in there.
990
00:48:51,167 --> 00:48:53,208
Oh, my God!
991
00:48:53,292 --> 00:48:54,768
I-I didn't know
what else to do.
992
00:48:54,792 --> 00:48:58,208
I didn't wanna lie to my best friend
about doing it for the first time,
993
00:48:58,292 --> 00:49:00,018
but then I knew I couldn't
tell you it was Jacob
994
00:49:00,042 --> 00:49:01,162
'cause then you'd get upset.
995
00:49:01,208 --> 00:49:03,042
Yeah? Well, 'cause we, you know,
996
00:49:03,125 --> 00:49:05,000
talked in graphic
detail about that night.
997
00:49:05,083 --> 00:49:08,125
And I literally hyped you
up about riding the D.
998
00:49:08,208 --> 00:49:13,000
And now you're telling me
the D you rode was my... Uh.
999
00:49:17,500 --> 00:49:19,292
- Oh, God.
- I think I-I might have
1000
00:49:19,375 --> 00:49:20,667
genuine feelings for...
1001
00:49:20,750 --> 00:49:23,083
I kissed my cousin
'cause of you,
1002
00:49:23,167 --> 00:49:25,417
you fucking brother fucker!
1003
00:49:25,500 --> 00:49:27,100
You kissed your what?
1004
00:49:27,125 --> 00:49:28,485
She kissed her cousin?
1005
00:49:28,542 --> 00:49:30,226
I saw a show about this.
1006
00:49:31,542 --> 00:49:32,583
Oh, God.
1007
00:49:32,667 --> 00:49:34,434
Oh, God. Let's just find
a different fountain.
1008
00:49:34,458 --> 00:49:36,268
- That was my last quarter.
- Oh!
1009
00:49:36,292 --> 00:49:37,625
Oh, God. No, no.
1010
00:49:37,708 --> 00:49:39,083
Oh, my God.
1011
00:49:39,833 --> 00:49:41,875
You're a horrible friend.
1012
00:49:41,958 --> 00:49:44,250
This whole shitty
night only happened
1013
00:49:44,333 --> 00:49:46,750
'cause you're obsessed with
having the perfect prom night.
1014
00:49:46,833 --> 00:49:49,667
- You wanted to find a date too.
- Okay.
1015
00:49:49,750 --> 00:49:51,625
If it was that bad, you
could have just left.
1016
00:49:51,708 --> 00:49:53,500
And abandoned you
in a frat house?
1017
00:49:53,583 --> 00:49:56,000
When have I ever left your side?
1018
00:49:56,083 --> 00:49:58,708
I cannot believe I
let you drag me out
1019
00:49:58,792 --> 00:50:00,625
for the gay prom of my dreams.
1020
00:50:00,708 --> 00:50:03,292
Of course, this was
always about you.
1021
00:50:03,375 --> 00:50:05,000
- Okay.
- Do you realize everything is
1022
00:50:05,083 --> 00:50:06,208
always about you?
1023
00:50:06,292 --> 00:50:07,726
If I hadn't convinced
you to come,
1024
00:50:07,750 --> 00:50:09,393
you would've been crawling
right back to Greg
1025
00:50:09,417 --> 00:50:11,458
and you would have acted
like nothing happened,
1026
00:50:11,542 --> 00:50:14,542
that everything was
okay, like you always do.
1027
00:50:14,625 --> 00:50:17,500
I'm, actually... I'm being
a super-ally right now.
1028
00:50:17,583 --> 00:50:18,875
Do not act like you understand
1029
00:50:18,958 --> 00:50:21,042
the pressures of coming out
'cause you really don't!
1030
00:50:21,125 --> 00:50:23,725
Oh, so sorry, would you mind
keeping it down a little?
1031
00:50:23,792 --> 00:50:26,226
We support whatever's going on between
the two of you, but we're trying...
1032
00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:27,643
- I'll fucking kill you!
- Don't you fucking
1033
00:50:27,667 --> 00:50:28,667
interrupt my best friend!
1034
00:50:28,750 --> 00:50:29,809
- Okay, Jesus Christ.
- Okay.
1035
00:50:29,833 --> 00:50:32,750
Really romantic to have a moment
at a fucking fountain at a college!
1036
00:50:32,833 --> 00:50:34,309
- Okay, have a good night. Thank you.
- Wow!
1037
00:50:34,333 --> 00:50:35,417
- Wow!
- Wow.
1038
00:50:35,500 --> 00:50:36,583
- Wow!
- Wow!
1039
00:50:36,667 --> 00:50:37,875
- Hon. Hon!
- Wow!
1040
00:50:39,167 --> 00:50:40,833
Hope your wish
doesn't come true!
1041
00:50:40,917 --> 00:50:43,717
Well, it did come true! It was
to have your face fucked up!
1042
00:50:43,917 --> 00:50:44,958
Hannah
1043
00:50:48,333 --> 00:50:50,093
There is no way you're
taking that phone call
1044
00:50:50,167 --> 00:50:51,527
instead of finishing
this with me.
1045
00:50:53,083 --> 00:50:55,458
I won't have a shot at
prom queen without him.
1046
00:50:55,542 --> 00:50:56,542
Are you serious?
1047
00:50:59,375 --> 00:51:00,375
Hannah!
1048
00:51:00,875 --> 00:51:02,917
Fucking...
1049
00:51:09,542 --> 00:51:10,542
What do you want?
1050
00:51:10,625 --> 00:51:13,309
So, who's the cool guy in
the picture that you posted?
1051
00:51:13,333 --> 00:51:14,333
Why do you care?
1052
00:51:14,417 --> 00:51:17,184
You seemed to have your hands
pretty full when I came by earlier.
1053
00:51:17,208 --> 00:51:19,000
Jess, I'm sorry. Come on.
1054
00:51:19,083 --> 00:51:21,043
I made a mistake. She
doesn't mean anything to me.
1055
00:51:21,125 --> 00:51:23,667
And FYI, she tried to get
me to take her to prom
1056
00:51:23,750 --> 00:51:24,833
and I said no.
1057
00:51:25,250 --> 00:51:27,333
You are the one I
want to go with.
1058
00:51:27,792 --> 00:51:29,417
Yeah, well, Hannah
and I, we're actually
1059
00:51:29,500 --> 00:51:31,333
at this really cool
warehouse show at Rutgers,
1060
00:51:31,417 --> 00:51:32,583
so I got to go.
1061
00:51:38,833 --> 00:51:42,083
Alright, your Shirley Temple
and virgin screwdriver.
1062
00:51:42,583 --> 00:51:44,125
Thank you kindly, bartender.
1063
00:51:44,208 --> 00:51:46,000
And-And might I add,
I am very surprised
1064
00:51:46,083 --> 00:51:48,375
that your guys don't ask for
ID at this establishment.
1065
00:51:48,917 --> 00:51:50,125
I'm 16.
1066
00:52:02,042 --> 00:52:03,042
Whiskey ginger ale.
1067
00:52:03,125 --> 00:52:04,792
I don't serve minors.
1068
00:52:06,417 --> 00:52:07,583
Can I just sit here?
1069
00:52:08,417 --> 00:52:11,042
Alright, for this next song,
1070
00:52:11,125 --> 00:52:13,292
we got a very special guest.
1071
00:52:13,375 --> 00:52:16,583
Give it up for Angie Adams!
1072
00:52:21,292 --> 00:52:23,000
One, two, three, four!
1073
00:52:28,792 --> 00:52:29,833
Hannah?
1074
00:52:34,292 --> 00:52:35,917
Watch it!
1075
00:52:36,333 --> 00:52:38,708
- Oh, shit, I'm sorry. I...
- No, no, no, it's no problem.
1076
00:52:39,250 --> 00:52:40,917
- Hi.
- Hi.
1077
00:52:41,333 --> 00:52:44,083
Uh, have you, have
you seen Hannah?
1078
00:52:44,167 --> 00:52:45,875
No. Why? Is everything okay?
1079
00:52:45,958 --> 00:52:49,792
Yeah, no, I just, uh, I
told her that we did it.
1080
00:52:51,417 --> 00:52:53,542
Shit. Um, okay.
1081
00:52:53,625 --> 00:52:54,667
How did she take it?
1082
00:52:55,083 --> 00:52:58,583
She... she threw up in a
fountain and then she ran away.
1083
00:52:59,375 --> 00:53:00,375
Better than I expected.
1084
00:53:00,458 --> 00:53:02,417
Hey, I'm really sorry,
1085
00:53:02,500 --> 00:53:03,958
that car ride was super awkward.
1086
00:53:04,042 --> 00:53:05,434
I'm sure that your
boyfriend is great
1087
00:53:05,458 --> 00:53:07,458
and I hope that you guys
are really happy together.
1088
00:53:07,500 --> 00:53:09,667
- Truly, I...
- Uh, actually, he cheated on me.
1089
00:53:11,000 --> 00:53:13,083
That fucker. We should kill him.
1090
00:53:13,167 --> 00:53:14,333
Right?
1091
00:53:15,708 --> 00:53:18,292
Uh, hey, do you maybe wanna
go sit and talk for a minute?
1092
00:53:19,042 --> 00:53:20,625
Uh, yeah.
1093
00:53:20,708 --> 00:53:22,042
- Okay.
- Okay.
1094
00:53:22,583 --> 00:53:24,958
♪ You tear it down, whoa-oh ♪
1095
00:53:25,042 --> 00:53:26,208
♪ And I'll ♪
1096
00:53:26,292 --> 00:53:27,292
Jacob?
1097
00:53:27,375 --> 00:53:28,958
♪ Never make a sound ♪
1098
00:53:42,542 --> 00:53:43,542
Hannah?
1099
00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:45,667
A-Angie.
1100
00:53:47,583 --> 00:53:48,833
What are you doing here?
1101
00:53:48,917 --> 00:53:51,226
My sister's crashing here. She
invited me to play a little bit.
1102
00:53:51,250 --> 00:53:52,750
What are... what
are you doing here?
1103
00:53:52,833 --> 00:53:54,917
I came to grab house
keys from my brother.
1104
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:58,167
I've... I've had kind
of a rough night.
1105
00:53:58,250 --> 00:54:00,833
Yeah, I can see
that. What happened?
1106
00:54:01,167 --> 00:54:04,333
I had the good fortune of seeing
someone's boobs for the first time...
1107
00:54:05,500 --> 00:54:07,625
and then I promptly
sneezed blood on them.
1108
00:54:07,708 --> 00:54:09,542
Are you serious?
1109
00:54:10,417 --> 00:54:11,833
That's incredible.
1110
00:54:12,583 --> 00:54:14,543
Start at the beginning. I
need to know everything.
1111
00:54:17,375 --> 00:54:19,500
I'm actually kind of
impressed that you managed
1112
00:54:19,583 --> 00:54:21,833
to drop the ball on two
potential prom dates.
1113
00:54:21,917 --> 00:54:23,125
That's...
1114
00:54:23,208 --> 00:54:26,000
Yeah, okay, well, your
sister smashing a glass
1115
00:54:26,083 --> 00:54:27,723
over the head of one
of them didn't help.
1116
00:54:28,083 --> 00:54:32,042
Yeah. Yeah, taking down frat
bros: The lesbian agenda.
1117
00:54:33,375 --> 00:54:35,875
What? What are
you talking about?
1118
00:54:35,958 --> 00:54:37,792
Oh, my God, Jess, come
on. She's my sister.
1119
00:54:37,875 --> 00:54:39,417
You think I don't
know she's gay?
1120
00:54:40,042 --> 00:54:43,083
I've caught her trying to leave the
house in my jorts, like, 30 times.
1121
00:54:45,792 --> 00:54:46,833
Can I ask you something?
1122
00:54:47,833 --> 00:54:50,958
Why do you care so much
about finding a prom date?
1123
00:54:53,125 --> 00:54:55,917
I guess, uh
1124
00:54:56,542 --> 00:54:59,250
going alone is kind
of like admitting
1125
00:54:59,333 --> 00:55:00,917
that no one wanted
to go with you.
1126
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:05,042
But going with someone
popular means I've made it.
1127
00:55:05,458 --> 00:55:06,833
Oh, there you are.
1128
00:55:06,917 --> 00:55:09,000
You can't leave me like
that, Dad... I mean, Jake.
1129
00:55:09,083 --> 00:55:11,042
You know I have abandon...
1130
00:55:11,458 --> 00:55:12,792
Oh, my God!
1131
00:55:12,875 --> 00:55:13,875
If you're here...
1132
00:55:13,958 --> 00:55:15,309
- No.
- I gotta go get my girl.
1133
00:55:15,333 --> 00:55:16,393
- Wait.
- No, no, no.
1134
00:55:16,417 --> 00:55:18,351
Um, I'm gonna go grab
him. Go find Hannah.
1135
00:55:18,375 --> 00:55:20,125
- Okay.
- Hannah? Excuse me, sorry.
1136
00:55:20,208 --> 00:55:21,875
Hannah! Sorry, guys.
1137
00:55:21,958 --> 00:55:23,042
Hannah, where...
1138
00:55:23,125 --> 00:55:24,458
- Hannah!
- Jess.
1139
00:55:24,542 --> 00:55:25,750
Luca.
1140
00:55:31,833 --> 00:55:34,708
♪ Takin' all the places
where you've been... ♪
1141
00:55:34,792 --> 00:55:37,000
So your first
time seeing boobs
1142
00:55:37,083 --> 00:55:39,125
was in front of 25 frat bros?
1143
00:55:39,208 --> 00:55:40,648
That's not how it
goes for everyone?
1144
00:55:40,708 --> 00:55:41,875
Well, I mean...
1145
00:55:41,958 --> 00:55:42,958
Um, I just, I...
1146
00:55:43,042 --> 00:55:44,809
I don't know, I feel like
you've never done anything
1147
00:55:44,833 --> 00:55:45,833
half as embarrassing.
1148
00:55:45,917 --> 00:55:47,833
Hey, don't let my fat ass
1149
00:55:47,917 --> 00:55:49,292
and perfect
personality fool you.
1150
00:55:49,375 --> 00:55:52,042
I went to circus
camp until I was 15.
1151
00:55:52,125 --> 00:55:53,458
You're lying.
1152
00:55:55,125 --> 00:55:56,333
Whoa!
1153
00:55:58,167 --> 00:55:59,667
- Yeah.
- I have a feeling you use
1154
00:55:59,750 --> 00:56:01,333
that trick on all the girls.
1155
00:56:01,417 --> 00:56:04,417
Not on all the girls. Just
the ones I'm trying to kiss.
1156
00:56:08,750 --> 00:56:09,750
Okay, I gotta ask.
1157
00:56:09,833 --> 00:56:12,333
Where is the student council
kid you're always with?
1158
00:56:12,833 --> 00:56:13,833
Greg?
1159
00:56:13,917 --> 00:56:15,250
Oh, I broke up with him.
1160
00:56:15,833 --> 00:56:16,917
Yeah, I'm a lesbian.
1161
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:21,583
Well, I can't imagine those
clothes are really comfortable.
1162
00:56:21,667 --> 00:56:23,292
Should we go up to
my sister's room
1163
00:56:23,375 --> 00:56:25,042
to find you something else?
1164
00:56:25,917 --> 00:56:26,917
Yeah, sure.
1165
00:56:29,417 --> 00:56:32,958
♪ You're faking all the
friends that you made ♪
1166
00:56:33,333 --> 00:56:36,083
♪ Simply filling
an empty place... ♪
1167
00:56:36,583 --> 00:56:39,125
Please, please, please?
1168
00:56:39,208 --> 00:56:42,208
Has anyone seen a
girl named Hannah?
1169
00:56:42,292 --> 00:56:47,083
She's 5'5" and the most perfect
angel in the world! Please!
1170
00:56:47,500 --> 00:56:49,726
- I don't have time for this.
- Oh, Jess, I fucked up one time.
1171
00:56:49,750 --> 00:56:51,667
It's really over because
I made one mistake?
1172
00:56:51,750 --> 00:56:53,708
You never treated
me properly, Luca.
1173
00:56:53,792 --> 00:56:55,250
I did a lot of things wrong.
1174
00:56:55,333 --> 00:56:56,809
I should have introduced
you to my parents.
1175
00:56:56,833 --> 00:56:58,417
I was confused. But
I'm not anymore.
1176
00:56:58,500 --> 00:57:00,860
- It's too late.
- Come on. I swear I can make things right.
1177
00:57:01,167 --> 00:57:02,367
I want to go to prom together.
1178
00:57:02,917 --> 00:57:04,333
Like together-together.
1179
00:57:04,417 --> 00:57:07,083
Prom king and prom queen.
1180
00:57:15,667 --> 00:57:17,792
So, you can, um,
1181
00:57:18,167 --> 00:57:21,417
- put... this on?
- Amazing.
1182
00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:23,708
Or we can both take
our shirts off.
1183
00:57:24,833 --> 00:57:26,333
I would like to do that.
1184
00:57:26,417 --> 00:57:27,417
Yeah.
1185
00:57:45,125 --> 00:57:47,000
Um... wait, sorry.
1186
00:57:47,542 --> 00:57:50,250
Not to be, like,
so deeply corny,
1187
00:57:50,333 --> 00:57:53,708
but will you go to prom with me?
1188
00:57:53,792 --> 00:57:56,208
Yeah.
1189
00:58:00,167 --> 00:58:02,327
- Is it okay if I undo your...
- Yeah, yeah, of course.
1190
00:58:04,917 --> 00:58:05,917
Wait, wait.
1191
00:58:06,542 --> 00:58:08,750
Your real last name
is Adams, right?
1192
00:58:08,833 --> 00:58:10,083
Yeah, why?
1193
00:58:10,167 --> 00:58:12,667
Yeah, no, no, nothing,
just... just keep going.
1194
00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:13,750
Okay.
1195
00:58:23,625 --> 00:58:25,333
This is the best
night of my life.
1196
00:58:30,250 --> 00:58:31,917
- Hannah?
- Greg!
1197
00:58:32,458 --> 00:58:34,917
What are you doing? I've been
looking for you all night.
1198
00:58:35,250 --> 00:58:37,170
- I thought you guys broke up?
- We did break up.
1199
00:58:37,250 --> 00:58:40,833
No, I told you I changed colleges for
you, and then you ran out of my house.
1200
00:58:40,917 --> 00:58:42,625
Yeah, that's a breakup.
1201
00:58:43,167 --> 00:58:44,292
What?
1202
00:58:44,375 --> 00:58:46,375
Hannah, how-how could
you do this to me?
1203
00:58:46,458 --> 00:58:47,625
I'm in love with you.
1204
00:58:47,708 --> 00:58:49,667
Because I'm gay, Greg!
1205
00:58:49,750 --> 00:58:51,292
And I've always been gay.
1206
00:58:51,375 --> 00:58:54,167
And I, I was too afraid
to say it before,
1207
00:58:54,250 --> 00:58:56,542
but I'm not afraid now.
1208
00:58:56,625 --> 00:58:59,792
So I'm sorry, but it's over.
1209
00:59:01,208 --> 00:59:03,375
So our relationship was a lie?
1210
00:59:10,292 --> 00:59:12,000
Ugh, gross.
1211
00:59:12,083 --> 00:59:14,458
No, Angie. No,
uh, I can explain!
1212
00:59:14,958 --> 00:59:16,417
I want you to be my girlfriend.
1213
00:59:16,708 --> 00:59:19,268
Dude, she doesn't want you here.
Okay? Why don't you just go home?
1214
00:59:19,292 --> 00:59:20,851
Who the fuck are
you, tall boy?
1215
00:59:20,875 --> 00:59:22,351
- Guys, please.
- I'm average height.
1216
00:59:22,375 --> 00:59:24,309
- What are you talking about?
- Geez, look at this sweater.
1217
00:59:24,333 --> 00:59:26,476
- You get this at a garage sale?
- What are you, a Formula 1 racer?
1218
00:59:26,500 --> 00:59:27,559
What are you talking about?
1219
00:59:27,583 --> 00:59:29,101
- What the fuck?
- Judging me what I'm wearing?
1220
00:59:29,125 --> 00:59:30,309
- Guys.
- Eat fist, bitch!
1221
00:59:30,333 --> 00:59:31,809
Get the fuck off of him!
1222
00:59:31,833 --> 00:59:34,208
Hannah! Hannah, stop, you're
gonna make things worse!
1223
00:59:34,292 --> 00:59:35,375
Yeah, you tell her, babe!
1224
00:59:35,792 --> 00:59:36,952
I'm not afraid to hit a girl.
1225
00:59:37,000 --> 00:59:38,143
You just fucking punched him.
1226
00:59:38,167 --> 00:59:39,792
What the fuck is wrong with you?
1227
00:59:39,875 --> 00:59:41,500
I don't do drama.
1228
00:59:42,500 --> 00:59:43,708
I'll wait for you in the car.
1229
00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:48,292
Oh, my God.
1230
00:59:48,375 --> 00:59:49,500
Oh, my God. Are you okay?
1231
00:59:49,583 --> 00:59:51,083
Yeah. No, it's fine. It's...
1232
00:59:51,167 --> 00:59:52,208
It's just my face.
1233
00:59:52,292 --> 00:59:53,958
Oh, so now you give a shit?
1234
00:59:54,042 --> 00:59:55,893
Take it easy, alright? She
was telling him to leave.
1235
00:59:55,917 --> 00:59:57,077
They're-They're not together.
1236
00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:00,000
Right?
1237
01:00:00,083 --> 01:00:01,667
I-I just need him for prom.
1238
01:00:01,750 --> 01:00:02,750
Are you serious?
1239
01:00:03,417 --> 01:00:04,625
- Jacob.
- No, it's, it's...
1240
01:00:06,750 --> 01:00:08,375
Don't fucking start, Hannah.
1241
01:00:08,458 --> 01:00:12,125
Oh, no, it's just,
it's-it's so predictable!
1242
01:00:12,208 --> 01:00:14,059
Of course you were gonna
get back together with him.
1243
01:00:14,083 --> 01:00:16,292
- Of course!
- Well, I'm not gonna apologize
1244
01:00:16,375 --> 01:00:18,101
for having the confidence
to go after what I want.
1245
01:00:18,125 --> 01:00:19,559
You know, I hate to
break it to you, Jess,
1246
01:00:19,583 --> 01:00:22,667
but it's not confidence,
it's desperation.
1247
01:00:22,750 --> 01:00:25,542
Desperation? You wanna
talk about desperation?
1248
01:00:25,625 --> 01:00:27,917
You're a lesbian who dated
a fucking dude for a year.
1249
01:00:28,000 --> 01:00:29,208
Yeah, Jess.
1250
01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:31,833
But at least I didn't treat you
like dog shit in the process!
1251
01:00:31,917 --> 01:00:33,333
No. I guess just Greg.
1252
01:00:33,833 --> 01:00:35,958
Babe, wrap it up so
I can get Taco Bell!
1253
01:00:36,042 --> 01:00:37,458
I'm about to hit
my fasting window.
1254
01:00:37,875 --> 01:00:40,125
Tacos and some lovin'!
1255
01:00:40,375 --> 01:00:42,335
You're really gonna let
him talk to you like that?
1256
01:00:42,667 --> 01:00:45,292
Just so you have a
fucking date tomorrow?
1257
01:00:46,125 --> 01:00:47,167
You're pathetic.
1258
01:00:47,708 --> 01:00:49,500
And you know, the
really sad part is that
1259
01:00:49,583 --> 01:00:51,292
you know he doesn't
care about you.
1260
01:00:51,375 --> 01:00:53,583
And you still choose him.
1261
01:00:53,667 --> 01:00:56,500
'Cause you're so
fucking insecure,
1262
01:00:56,583 --> 01:00:59,708
you'd do anything to
make people like you!
1263
01:00:59,792 --> 01:01:01,833
Well, sorry that I'd rather
have one perfect night
1264
01:01:01,917 --> 01:01:04,542
than stay an unfuckable
reject like you!
1265
01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:11,167
You know what?
1266
01:01:12,750 --> 01:01:14,250
I'm...
1267
01:01:14,875 --> 01:01:18,167
I'm tired of you assuming
1268
01:01:18,250 --> 01:01:21,792
you can just treat
me however you want
1269
01:01:22,375 --> 01:01:24,333
'cause you know I'll
always be there for you.
1270
01:01:25,375 --> 01:01:26,833
Have fun at prom with Luca.
1271
01:01:27,458 --> 01:01:28,708
I'm done.
1272
01:01:30,292 --> 01:01:31,292
Hannah!
1273
01:01:59,833 --> 01:02:01,500
Last night was fucked. I...
1274
01:02:24,625 --> 01:02:25,625
Holy shit.
1275
01:02:26,750 --> 01:02:27,958
Good afternoon, Hannah.
1276
01:02:28,042 --> 01:02:29,292
How'd you get in here?
1277
01:02:29,375 --> 01:02:30,458
Your mom let us in.
1278
01:02:31,583 --> 01:02:32,583
She gave me a cookie.
1279
01:02:33,167 --> 01:02:34,958
The last cookie
she'll ever give me.
1280
01:02:35,833 --> 01:02:36,833
"Us"?
1281
01:02:38,208 --> 01:02:39,208
'Sup?
1282
01:02:39,625 --> 01:02:42,375
I assume you know my date
Melissa, from the softball team?
1283
01:02:42,750 --> 01:02:43,750
Hi.
1284
01:02:43,833 --> 01:02:45,993
Melissa and I have been having
a wonderful time so far.
1285
01:02:46,042 --> 01:02:48,375
She helped me get my frisbee
from the top of the garage.
1286
01:02:48,833 --> 01:02:51,125
She helped me dunk
my first basketball.
1287
01:02:51,208 --> 01:02:52,393
Lifted me up by the shoulders.
1288
01:02:52,417 --> 01:02:53,601
- Uh-huh.
- Put it right in there.
1289
01:02:53,625 --> 01:02:55,125
- Felt like Shaq.
- Uh-huh.
1290
01:02:55,208 --> 01:02:58,792
I just can't seem to remember
you doing anything like that.
1291
01:02:59,333 --> 01:03:03,333
Okay. Um, can I talk to you
alone for a minute, please?
1292
01:03:09,667 --> 01:03:14,625
Um... when you told my mom we
broke up, you didn't, like,
1293
01:03:15,458 --> 01:03:17,042
tell her I was gay, right?
1294
01:03:18,333 --> 01:03:19,583
Of course not.
1295
01:03:20,042 --> 01:03:22,792
Hannah, I'm heartbroken,
1296
01:03:22,875 --> 01:03:23,917
I'm not a monster.
1297
01:03:24,292 --> 01:03:26,583
I just came to pick up my car.
1298
01:03:26,875 --> 01:03:28,995
I left it here last night
when I went looking for you.
1299
01:03:29,042 --> 01:03:33,750
I'm really sorry, Greg.
1300
01:03:33,833 --> 01:03:36,958
Did you know the whole
time we were dating?
1301
01:03:38,500 --> 01:03:39,708
Yeah, pretty much.
1302
01:03:42,292 --> 01:03:43,833
I just can't believe it.
1303
01:03:43,917 --> 01:03:46,000
All those weekends watching
Rachel and Finn sing
1304
01:03:46,083 --> 01:03:48,083
their hearts out
meant nothing to you.
1305
01:03:48,708 --> 01:03:50,333
You're super fun
to hang out with,
1306
01:03:50,417 --> 01:03:53,750
but, like, I can't
change who I am.
1307
01:03:54,375 --> 01:03:56,333
You think I'm upset
that you're gay?
1308
01:03:57,167 --> 01:03:58,167
Yes?
1309
01:03:58,250 --> 01:04:00,833
Hannah, I'm upset
because you pretended
1310
01:04:00,917 --> 01:04:02,083
to be in love with me.
1311
01:04:03,292 --> 01:04:05,833
My entire senior year
revolved around you,
1312
01:04:06,292 --> 01:04:10,250
a-and you were just... using me.
1313
01:04:12,250 --> 01:04:13,625
If you had just told me,
1314
01:04:13,708 --> 01:04:16,167
I would have pretended
to be your boyfriend.
1315
01:04:16,250 --> 01:04:18,875
Or if you didn't have
the guts to do that,
1316
01:04:19,917 --> 01:04:21,167
you should've dumped me.
1317
01:04:21,792 --> 01:04:23,917
But you could have at
least been a decent friend.
1318
01:04:24,958 --> 01:04:28,083
Just so you know, I, uh, I
transferred back to Stanford.
1319
01:04:28,167 --> 01:04:32,958
So... you don't have to worry
about me bothering you anymore.
1320
01:05:05,042 --> 01:05:07,042
Woo!
1321
01:05:07,500 --> 01:05:10,042
...55, 56, 57,
1322
01:05:10,125 --> 01:05:13,417
58, 59, 60!
1323
01:05:15,667 --> 01:05:18,625
Oh, that's a full minute,
baby! That's a new record!
1324
01:05:18,708 --> 01:05:20,458
Let's go! Woo!
1325
01:05:20,542 --> 01:05:22,000
That's it! That's it!
1326
01:05:22,083 --> 01:05:23,292
All right, dude. You're next.
1327
01:05:23,375 --> 01:05:24,500
Yeah, thank you, thank you.
1328
01:05:24,583 --> 01:05:26,223
Uh, thanks for coming.
Thanks for coming.
1329
01:05:27,167 --> 01:05:28,487
- Congrats, bro.
- What's up, man?
1330
01:05:28,542 --> 01:05:31,182
- Lemme get a picture real quick.
- Yeah, let's do it, let's do it.
1331
01:05:31,667 --> 01:05:33,042
- Alright.
- Let's go.
1332
01:05:33,125 --> 01:05:34,875
♪ That sparkle ♪
1333
01:05:34,958 --> 01:05:38,625
♪ It goes away and
then you know ♪
1334
01:05:40,333 --> 01:05:45,250
♪ Excuses start to
weigh more than gold ♪
1335
01:05:47,083 --> 01:05:50,042
♪ Ohh, ohh ♪
1336
01:05:50,792 --> 01:05:52,292
♪ Ohh, ohh ♪
1337
01:05:52,375 --> 01:05:54,917
What's up, sourpuss?
Want some bubbly?
1338
01:05:55,000 --> 01:05:56,208
No.
1339
01:05:56,292 --> 01:05:57,625
Okay. More for me.
1340
01:05:58,125 --> 01:06:00,208
You know, I kinda wish
we were going straight
1341
01:06:00,292 --> 01:06:03,625
to the after party, if
ya know what I mean.
1342
01:06:06,583 --> 01:06:11,333
♪ I used a condom with
Janine, so we don't have to ♪
1343
01:06:13,042 --> 01:06:14,167
What?
1344
01:06:14,625 --> 01:06:17,292
You should be amped, it
smells great down there.
1345
01:06:17,375 --> 01:06:19,375
- Okay.
- Ooh, I know.
1346
01:06:19,458 --> 01:06:21,667
Do you wanna meet my parents?
1347
01:06:23,708 --> 01:06:24,792
Yeah.
1348
01:06:25,458 --> 01:06:27,708
Alright, let me go find my mom.
1349
01:06:29,417 --> 01:06:32,000
Mom! Come meet Jess, you slut!
1350
01:06:33,458 --> 01:06:36,125
Hey, sorry to bother you, would
you mind taking a picture of us?
1351
01:06:36,208 --> 01:06:37,888
Keara's absolutely
beefing the self-timer.
1352
01:06:37,958 --> 01:06:40,625
It's not me, you bitch,
it's Jordan's janky Android.
1353
01:06:40,708 --> 01:06:41,792
Just use yours.
1354
01:06:41,875 --> 01:06:43,976
Please, no. I share an iCloud
account with my parents,
1355
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:46,083
and I know one of you
is gonna flash tit.
1356
01:06:46,167 --> 01:06:48,143
I can just take it on
my phone and AirDrop it.
1357
01:06:48,167 --> 01:06:49,250
Perfect. Yeah.
1358
01:06:54,875 --> 01:06:57,417
Guess Anne and Carm are missing
out on my nips again this year.
1359
01:07:07,583 --> 01:07:09,500
- I got it.
- Ugh, you're an angel.
1360
01:07:09,583 --> 01:07:11,518
Come take a picture with
us. Hannah too, obviously.
1361
01:07:11,542 --> 01:07:12,684
Oh, yeah, go get her.
1362
01:07:12,708 --> 01:07:16,958
Um... no, yeah, actually,
I'm gonna go pick her up.
1363
01:07:17,042 --> 01:07:19,809
But we'll meet you guys at prom.
A-And you look really cute by the way.
1364
01:07:19,833 --> 01:07:21,553
- You too!
- See you there!
1365
01:07:24,667 --> 01:07:26,500
Time to meet my slam piece.
1366
01:07:26,583 --> 01:07:28,583
Jess?
1367
01:07:34,167 --> 01:07:36,768
The number you've dialed
is not in service.
1368
01:07:36,792 --> 01:07:39,083
Ugh. Fucking fountain phone!
1369
01:07:41,708 --> 01:07:43,083
Twenty-seven minutes?
1370
01:08:14,167 --> 01:08:16,000
Home?
1371
01:08:23,250 --> 01:08:26,167
Hannah! I'm a
fucking idiot, okay?
1372
01:08:26,250 --> 01:08:28,875
You were right, I was
putting dudes ahead of you,
1373
01:08:28,958 --> 01:08:30,583
which literally makes no sense
1374
01:08:30,667 --> 01:08:32,958
because nothing could
compare to our friendship!
1375
01:08:33,458 --> 01:08:35,375
I won't go to prom without you!
1376
01:08:36,458 --> 01:08:37,542
Hey.
1377
01:08:38,625 --> 01:08:39,667
She's not here.
1378
01:08:39,750 --> 01:08:41,083
Jacob.
1379
01:08:52,833 --> 01:08:53,958
It's all you, doggie.
1380
01:08:58,292 --> 01:08:59,852
Lucy.
1381
01:09:01,750 --> 01:09:03,042
Ah!
1382
01:09:03,125 --> 01:09:04,708
Oh, Lucy!
1383
01:09:04,792 --> 01:09:06,059
Oh, hi.
1384
01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:07,875
Oh, yes, you're home!
1385
01:09:07,958 --> 01:09:08,958
Where were you?
1386
01:09:09,042 --> 01:09:10,917
Where was my baby?
1387
01:09:11,000 --> 01:09:13,708
Oh, yes, yes!
1388
01:09:13,792 --> 01:09:17,208
I love you! I was so
worried about my baby!
1389
01:09:17,292 --> 01:09:19,143
You're my little baby!
1390
01:09:19,167 --> 01:09:22,208
Oh, yes. Oh.
1391
01:09:22,958 --> 01:09:25,250
- Like, it looks bad, but...
- Does it hurt?
1392
01:09:25,792 --> 01:09:29,042
Uh, yeah, I mean, probably about
as much as a trophy to the head.
1393
01:09:29,750 --> 01:09:30,958
I'm so sorry.
1394
01:09:31,042 --> 01:09:32,667
- Ah.
- For everything.
1395
01:09:33,833 --> 01:09:36,083
You've been so great, and
I just keep fucking it up.
1396
01:09:37,625 --> 01:09:39,458
Well, this might be my
head injury talking,
1397
01:09:39,542 --> 01:09:41,833
but I still like you.
1398
01:09:42,917 --> 01:09:43,958
I like you, too.
1399
01:09:46,500 --> 01:09:48,542
But we probably shouldn't
do this right now.
1400
01:09:48,958 --> 01:09:52,375
Right, yeah. No, you-you gotta
figure things out with Hannah first.
1401
01:09:52,833 --> 01:09:55,500
Yeah, and I, um...
1402
01:09:56,667 --> 01:09:59,625
I should really just
focus on myself for a bit,
1403
01:10:00,000 --> 01:10:01,917
make sure I'm dating
for the right reasons.
1404
01:10:02,167 --> 01:10:04,917
Self-awareness. Gross.
1405
01:10:08,958 --> 01:10:11,625
Look, I don't expect you
to wait for me or anything.
1406
01:10:12,250 --> 01:10:14,625
But when I'm ready, you'll
be the first person I call.
1407
01:10:15,917 --> 01:10:16,917
Deal.
1408
01:10:27,500 --> 01:10:30,042
It's probably for the best
that we don't start dating now.
1409
01:10:30,792 --> 01:10:32,292
I lent Hannah my tux for prom,
1410
01:10:32,375 --> 01:10:35,042
so if you had asked me, it
would have just been this.
1411
01:10:35,125 --> 01:10:36,625
Wait. Hannah went to prom?
1412
01:10:36,708 --> 01:10:39,068
Eh, she said something about
meeting up with the drama club.
1413
01:10:39,292 --> 01:10:40,292
What...?
1414
01:10:41,375 --> 01:10:42,583
Did you steal Luca's car?
1415
01:10:43,125 --> 01:10:44,208
Yes, I did.
1416
01:10:45,083 --> 01:10:46,167
God, that's hot.
1417
01:10:58,167 --> 01:11:01,542
♪ Walked in the room,
I couldn't look away ♪
1418
01:11:02,583 --> 01:11:05,458
♪ Stop me dead with
that electric gaze ♪
1419
01:11:06,542 --> 01:11:10,667
♪ Something so comforting
about your face ♪
1420
01:11:10,750 --> 01:11:13,917
♪ I don't know how, but
we might be the same ♪
1421
01:11:14,958 --> 01:11:18,000
♪ Never expected I
would feel this way ♪
1422
01:11:19,083 --> 01:11:22,208
♪ I keep my head down,
take it day by day ♪
1423
01:11:23,292 --> 01:11:25,833
♪ I turned those feelings
off so long ago ♪
1424
01:11:25,917 --> 01:11:27,458
Oh, my God, hurry
up. We're so late.
1425
01:11:27,542 --> 01:11:31,333
♪ I always thought it'd
be impossible, but ♪
1426
01:11:31,417 --> 01:11:33,208
- ♪ You could kiss me right now ♪
- Hey.
1427
01:11:34,042 --> 01:11:35,625
Hey! Where's Jess?
1428
01:11:36,333 --> 01:11:37,667
How should I know, Hanky?
1429
01:11:37,917 --> 01:11:39,875
♪ I've been dreaming
'bout it... ♪
1430
01:11:39,958 --> 01:11:41,708
We're all set up
backstage. Ready?
1431
01:11:41,792 --> 01:11:43,125
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, Grace.
1432
01:11:45,875 --> 01:11:48,250
♪ Mm-hmm, yeah ♪
1433
01:11:48,333 --> 01:11:49,917
♪ You could kiss me right now ♪
1434
01:11:50,792 --> 01:11:53,750
♪ I don't understand it, no ♪
1435
01:11:54,667 --> 01:11:56,417
♪ But I'm not
gonna fight it... ♪
1436
01:11:56,500 --> 01:11:58,268
Hey, ho, everybody, hold up.
1437
01:11:58,292 --> 01:11:59,833
One second, hold
up, stop dancing.
1438
01:11:59,917 --> 01:12:02,417
Alright, we're gonna take a
quick break from the tunes
1439
01:12:02,500 --> 01:12:04,476
because the student fire
marshal is here to give us
1440
01:12:04,500 --> 01:12:06,500
a brief safety
announcement, okay?
1441
01:12:06,583 --> 01:12:07,583
It's very important.
1442
01:12:07,667 --> 01:12:09,917
And then after that,
you can believe
1443
01:12:10,000 --> 01:12:12,708
that DJ Tony Turnpike
is gonna be back
1444
01:12:12,792 --> 01:12:14,417
with the noise.
1445
01:12:14,500 --> 01:12:17,542
The noise and the
boys. You understand?
1446
01:12:17,625 --> 01:12:18,833
That's all slang for...
1447
01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:20,833
I actually don't
know what it's for.
1448
01:12:20,917 --> 01:12:23,125
- Here you go, Hannah. You go ahead.
- Okay. Thanks.
1449
01:12:23,833 --> 01:12:25,875
I'll leave you with this.
1450
01:12:25,958 --> 01:12:27,226
Bush did 9/11.
1451
01:12:27,250 --> 01:12:28,667
♪ Oh, Lord ♪
1452
01:12:28,750 --> 01:12:29,875
Check that out.
1453
01:12:37,000 --> 01:12:40,625
Hello, everybody in my grade.
1454
01:12:41,042 --> 01:12:44,917
I'm sorry to say that I am not up
here to provide safety information,
1455
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:49,458
as the title "student fire
marshal" is completely made up.
1456
01:12:50,792 --> 01:12:52,333
Student fire marshal's not real?
1457
01:12:53,833 --> 01:12:55,250
I was the student fire marshal.
1458
01:12:55,333 --> 01:12:56,667
Okay. Thank you.
1459
01:12:57,542 --> 01:12:59,708
I'm actually up here
tonight because.
1460
01:13:00,667 --> 01:13:02,125
I owe someone an apology.
1461
01:13:03,417 --> 01:13:05,625
This person is never
anything less than himself
1462
01:13:06,417 --> 01:13:08,333
and taught me that I
shouldn't be either.
1463
01:13:09,917 --> 01:13:10,917
So...
1464
01:13:13,250 --> 01:13:14,833
I have something I need to say.
1465
01:13:18,583 --> 01:13:19,792
I'm a lesbian.
1466
01:13:21,417 --> 01:13:26,292
And even though it's, like,
really scary to admit,
1467
01:13:26,375 --> 01:13:29,125
it feels way better
than continuing
1468
01:13:29,208 --> 01:13:31,708
to pretend I'm
something I'm not.
1469
01:13:32,875 --> 01:13:34,083
Woo!
1470
01:13:43,167 --> 01:13:44,887
- Why are we clapping?
- Shh!
1471
01:13:44,917 --> 01:13:47,375
Now, I'm not as good
a performer as he is,
1472
01:13:47,458 --> 01:13:51,708
but his love language
is grand gestures, so...
1473
01:13:54,708 --> 01:13:58,042
Greg, our relationship
might be over,
1474
01:13:58,542 --> 01:14:00,625
but I hope we can
stay friends forever.
1475
01:14:01,333 --> 01:14:02,542
I love ya, buddy.
1476
01:14:04,625 --> 01:14:10,042
♪ G is for a guy
who loves his Glee ♪
1477
01:14:10,833 --> 01:14:15,958
♪ R is 'cause a
ray of sun is he ♪
1478
01:14:16,042 --> 01:14:18,667
Guys, I'm Greg! She's
singing about me!
1479
01:14:18,750 --> 01:14:23,125
♪ ...is very, very
extraordinary ♪
1480
01:14:23,208 --> 01:14:25,292
- ♪ G... ♪
- Gay!
1481
01:14:25,375 --> 01:14:29,417
♪ Even more of that special
Greg that we adore ♪
1482
01:14:30,500 --> 01:14:32,250
Hey. Shut the fuck up.
1483
01:14:32,333 --> 01:14:33,542
Hey. Where have you been?
1484
01:14:33,625 --> 01:14:35,268
What Hannah's doing is
braver than anything
1485
01:14:35,292 --> 01:14:36,917
you've ever done in
your entire life.
1486
01:14:37,000 --> 01:14:38,625
Okay, chill. I
was just kidding.
1487
01:14:38,708 --> 01:14:40,851
I didn't think that you two
were friends anymore anyway.
1488
01:14:40,875 --> 01:14:42,917
Yeah, well, you were wrong.
She's my best friend.
1489
01:14:43,000 --> 01:14:45,920
I'm just gonna be honest. You're kinda
being a super mega bitch right now.
1490
01:14:47,833 --> 01:14:49,333
We're done.
1491
01:14:49,958 --> 01:14:52,167
So you're gonna
spend prom alone?
1492
01:14:52,250 --> 01:14:54,208
- ♪ Greg ♪
- I'm not alone. I have her.
1493
01:14:54,292 --> 01:14:57,500
♪ Is a real friend
when you're in need ♪
1494
01:14:57,583 --> 01:15:00,458
Alright, swag. Have
fun with Dykey D.
1495
01:15:00,542 --> 01:15:03,667
♪ Greg has always been
right there for me ♪
1496
01:15:03,750 --> 01:15:05,000
It's true.
1497
01:15:05,083 --> 01:15:06,184
♪ Greg's... ♪
1498
01:15:12,500 --> 01:15:15,125
Uh, thank you, fire marshal.
1499
01:15:15,208 --> 01:15:16,375
Thank you so much.
1500
01:15:16,458 --> 01:15:18,375
Uh, very, uh,
interesting announcement.
1501
01:15:18,458 --> 01:15:21,000
That got a little bit
weird, folks, uh, in here,
1502
01:15:21,083 --> 01:15:23,000
so let's move right
on to the love
1503
01:15:23,083 --> 01:15:25,750
with the first slow
dance of the evening.
1504
01:15:25,833 --> 01:15:28,500
If you touch anything that
seems to be changing size,
1505
01:15:28,583 --> 01:15:30,500
just take your hand
right off it, okay?
1506
01:15:32,333 --> 01:15:35,792
The most important part about the
pact is that this is our night.
1507
01:15:37,500 --> 01:15:39,292
It would be nothing without you.
1508
01:15:40,042 --> 01:15:43,542
- I love you.
- Oh. I love you too.
1509
01:15:46,875 --> 01:15:48,083
May I have this dance?
1510
01:15:48,167 --> 01:15:50,292
Oh, I'd love nothing more.
1511
01:15:56,333 --> 01:15:57,750
I'm sorry for what I said.
1512
01:15:58,542 --> 01:16:00,708
I was projecting,
and it was wrong.
1513
01:16:01,333 --> 01:16:02,375
It's okay.
1514
01:16:02,833 --> 01:16:05,500
I probably shouldn't have
freaked out about you and Jacob.
1515
01:16:07,083 --> 01:16:09,125
If you guys really
like each other,
1516
01:16:09,667 --> 01:16:11,042
I'm nothing but happy for you.
1517
01:16:11,500 --> 01:16:15,250
Thanks, Hans, but I, I
am gonna take a break
1518
01:16:15,333 --> 01:16:16,958
from serious
relationships right now.
1519
01:16:17,042 --> 01:16:18,833
Does that mean you're
breaking up with me?
1520
01:16:18,917 --> 01:16:21,750
Oh, no, we are more
than serious, bitch.
1521
01:16:21,833 --> 01:16:23,958
We are terminal. You are
never getting rid of me.
1522
01:16:24,042 --> 01:16:26,042
Ever.
1523
01:16:26,125 --> 01:16:27,667
Good.
1524
01:16:28,375 --> 01:16:32,417
♪ I won't fight it, I won't ♪
1525
01:16:32,500 --> 01:16:33,917
I'm gonna go get a drink.
1526
01:16:35,292 --> 01:16:36,917
Wait, did you...?
1527
01:16:37,292 --> 01:16:38,333
Maybe.
1528
01:16:38,417 --> 01:16:39,708
- Hannah!
- Yeah.
1529
01:16:39,792 --> 01:16:41,833
Yeah. Unfuckable reject, who?
1530
01:16:41,917 --> 01:16:43,000
Oh, God. Yeah, okay.
1531
01:16:43,083 --> 01:16:45,667
Um... sorry, again.
1532
01:16:45,750 --> 01:16:47,851
Yeah, it was actually the
greatest thing to ever happen.
1533
01:16:47,875 --> 01:16:51,417
Like, she came on to me.
1534
01:16:51,500 --> 01:16:53,625
- As well she should.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
1535
01:16:53,708 --> 01:16:56,542
Okay. Alright, well, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna get out of your way.
1536
01:16:56,625 --> 01:16:57,625
Mm-hmm.
1537
01:16:59,542 --> 01:17:01,208
♪ A sharp tongue ♪
1538
01:17:01,292 --> 01:17:02,750
- Love you.
- I love you.
1539
01:17:02,833 --> 01:17:04,958
♪ It's obvious ♪
1540
01:17:05,292 --> 01:17:06,583
Okay.
1541
01:17:06,667 --> 01:17:10,083
♪ There's a room in a
hospital where your body is ♪
1542
01:17:12,000 --> 01:17:14,292
♪ The B-bridge... ♪
1543
01:17:14,375 --> 01:17:15,375
Quite a show.
1544
01:17:15,458 --> 01:17:16,667
Thank you.
1545
01:17:16,750 --> 01:17:19,625
Yeah, if you don't watch your back,
I'm gonna start stealing your gigs.
1546
01:17:22,000 --> 01:17:26,750
I'm... I'm really sorry I
dragged you into my shit.
1547
01:17:27,625 --> 01:17:28,833
It wasn't right.
1548
01:17:30,042 --> 01:17:34,250
But I wasn't lying when I said hanging out
with you was the best night of my life.
1549
01:17:34,333 --> 01:17:37,458
So, now that everything's just,
1550
01:17:38,292 --> 01:17:39,500
phew, out in the open,
1551
01:17:39,583 --> 01:17:42,875
I just, I feel like there's
one thing left to ask.
1552
01:17:45,042 --> 01:17:46,250
Will you be my girlfriend?
1553
01:17:46,917 --> 01:17:49,917
Uh, I... I don't think so.
1554
01:17:50,000 --> 01:17:52,542
- Huh?
- Uh, we, like, hooked up once.
1555
01:17:52,958 --> 01:17:54,208
Yeah, no, I just, I'm...
1556
01:17:54,625 --> 01:17:56,500
We-we were so connected. I...
1557
01:17:56,583 --> 01:17:57,917
Yeah. Uh,
1558
01:17:58,292 --> 01:17:59,917
I mean, look, I-I
think you're great,
1559
01:18:00,000 --> 01:18:02,042
and obviously I'm
attracted to you,
1560
01:18:02,125 --> 01:18:05,000
but it's, like,
you just came out.
1561
01:18:05,875 --> 01:18:08,292
To, like, the whole school
in a musical number?
1562
01:18:08,375 --> 01:18:09,583
Mm.
1563
01:18:09,667 --> 01:18:13,042
Just feel like you have a few
things to sort out identity-wise.
1564
01:18:13,125 --> 01:18:16,917
Yeah. Yeah, no, that, that,
that, like, fully makes sense.
1565
01:18:17,000 --> 01:18:18,167
Yeah, for sure.
1566
01:18:18,250 --> 01:18:19,500
Do you have any queer friends?
1567
01:18:20,833 --> 01:18:24,583
Well, if it's not too awkward,
I'd love to be your first.
1568
01:18:27,333 --> 01:18:28,333
Yeah, sure.
1569
01:18:29,750 --> 01:18:33,208
Is it normal for lesbians to be friends
with the people they've hooked up with?
1570
01:18:34,583 --> 01:18:36,625
You have so much to learn.
1571
01:18:39,292 --> 01:18:41,333
I know.
1572
01:18:42,958 --> 01:18:45,558
Softball's harder than baseball,
that's what you're saying?
1573
01:18:46,375 --> 01:18:47,750
Do you mind if I cut in?
1574
01:18:49,000 --> 01:18:50,125
Nah, it's cool.
1575
01:18:51,708 --> 01:18:53,792
Grace. Um, great moves up there.
1576
01:18:53,875 --> 01:18:55,595
How's your night going?
1577
01:18:55,625 --> 01:18:56,708
Really good.
1578
01:18:57,333 --> 01:19:00,542
Um, but, Greg, I actually
have something to tell you.
1579
01:19:02,250 --> 01:19:04,375
I only helped with
your promposal
1580
01:19:04,458 --> 01:19:06,167
because I wanted to
spend time with you.
1581
01:19:06,417 --> 01:19:09,208
And when I learned your top
choice for college was Stanford,
1582
01:19:09,292 --> 01:19:10,792
that's the only place I applied.
1583
01:19:11,458 --> 01:19:13,708
One time after gym class,
1584
01:19:13,792 --> 01:19:15,708
I even snuck into
the shower you used
1585
01:19:15,792 --> 01:19:17,208
and collected some of your hair.
1586
01:19:17,625 --> 01:19:19,958
I keep it in my locket,
and every so often,
1587
01:19:20,042 --> 01:19:21,542
I sniff it for good luck.
1588
01:19:26,000 --> 01:19:27,250
I'm in love with you, Greg.
1589
01:19:28,042 --> 01:19:29,458
You were the best banana.
1590
01:19:30,458 --> 01:19:32,875
I love you, too. I think.
1591
01:19:41,167 --> 01:19:42,500
Damn!
1592
01:19:43,458 --> 01:19:44,958
- Okay.
- Okay, Greg.
1593
01:19:45,042 --> 01:19:46,083
Wow!
1594
01:19:46,167 --> 01:19:47,667
- That's happening right now.
- Wow.
1595
01:19:47,750 --> 01:19:50,708
- Awesome for them.
- I'm so scared.
1596
01:19:50,792 --> 01:19:53,083
Hey, h-how did it go with Angie?
1597
01:19:53,167 --> 01:19:54,167
It's pretty bad.
1598
01:19:54,583 --> 01:19:56,042
Oh, no, I'm sorry. Are you okay?
1599
01:19:56,125 --> 01:19:57,125
Yeah.
1600
01:19:57,750 --> 01:19:58,833
We're gonna be friends.
1601
01:19:59,167 --> 01:20:00,167
That's good.
1602
01:20:03,500 --> 01:20:05,625
- Prom kinda...
- Sucks, right?
1603
01:20:05,708 --> 01:20:06,750
Yeah, exactly.
1604
01:20:06,833 --> 01:20:08,792
Yeah. Um, wanna get out of here?
1605
01:20:09,458 --> 01:20:10,583
Fuck yeah.
1606
01:20:11,958 --> 01:20:14,625
What are you thinking,
Maps? Say It Ain't So?
1607
01:20:14,708 --> 01:20:15,708
Mm.
1608
01:20:17,333 --> 01:20:20,083
Definitely both classics,
but I want something harder.
1609
01:20:20,500 --> 01:20:21,500
- Mm.
- Fuck.
1610
01:20:21,583 --> 01:20:22,708
What?
1611
01:20:22,792 --> 01:20:24,167
We didn't take prom pics.
1612
01:20:24,875 --> 01:20:25,958
Give me your phone.
1613
01:20:26,708 --> 01:20:27,708
Come on.
1614
01:20:33,833 --> 01:20:34,875
Done.
1615
01:20:38,750 --> 01:20:40,292
Mm! Bitch, pay attention.
1616
01:20:40,375 --> 01:20:41,417
- It's starting.
- Mm!
1617
01:20:41,500 --> 01:20:42,958
- Okay. Are you ready?
- Fuck yeah.
1618
01:20:43,042 --> 01:20:45,625
Alright. One, two,
one, two, three!
1619
01:21:01,042 --> 01:21:04,667
♪ You sit there in
your heartache ♪
1620
01:21:05,083 --> 01:21:08,542
♪ Waiting on some
beautiful boy to ♪
1621
01:21:08,625 --> 01:21:12,208
♪ To save you from
your old ways ♪
1622
01:21:12,292 --> 01:21:13,625
♪ You play forgiveness ♪
1623
01:21:13,708 --> 01:21:15,458
♪ Watch it now, here he comes ♪
1624
01:21:15,542 --> 01:21:18,833
♪ He doesn't look a
thing like Jesus ♪
1625
01:21:18,917 --> 01:21:21,417
♪ But he talks
like a gentleman ♪
1626
01:21:21,500 --> 01:21:26,542
♪ Like you imagined
when you were young ♪
1627
01:21:30,625 --> 01:21:34,292
♪ Can we climb this
mountain, I don't know ♪
1628
01:21:34,375 --> 01:21:37,375
♪ Higher now than ever before ♪
1629
01:21:37,458 --> 01:21:41,583
♪ I know we can make
it if we take it slow ♪
1630
01:21:41,667 --> 01:21:43,125
♪ Let's take it easy ♪
1631
01:21:43,208 --> 01:21:44,958
♪ Easy now, watch it go ♪
1632
01:21:45,042 --> 01:21:48,500
♪ We're burning down
the highway skyline ♪
1633
01:21:48,583 --> 01:21:50,875
♪ On the back of a hurricane ♪
1634
01:21:50,958 --> 01:21:56,042
♪ That started turning
when you were young ♪
1635
01:21:59,375 --> 01:22:04,167
♪ When you were young ♪
1636
01:22:06,708 --> 01:22:09,542
♪ And sometimes you
close your eyes ♪
1637
01:22:09,625 --> 01:22:13,292
♪ And see the place
where you used to live ♪
1638
01:22:14,083 --> 01:22:17,417
♪ When you were young ♪
1639
01:22:38,000 --> 01:22:42,042
♪ They say the devil's
water, it ain't so sweet ♪
1640
01:22:42,458 --> 01:22:45,500
♪ You don't have to
drink right now ♪
1641
01:22:46,625 --> 01:22:49,208
♪ But you can dip your feet ♪
1642
01:22:50,583 --> 01:22:55,042
♪ Every once in a little while ♪
1643
01:23:16,208 --> 01:23:19,583
♪ You sit there in
your heartache ♪
1644
01:23:20,042 --> 01:23:23,458
♪ Waiting on some
beautiful boy to ♪
1645
01:23:23,542 --> 01:23:27,042
♪ To save you from
your old ways ♪
1646
01:23:27,125 --> 01:23:28,500
♪ You play forgiveness ♪
1647
01:23:28,583 --> 01:23:30,250
♪ Watch it now, here he comes ♪
1648
01:23:30,333 --> 01:23:33,917
♪ He doesn't look a
thing like Jesus ♪
1649
01:23:34,000 --> 01:23:36,250
♪ But he talks
like a gentleman ♪
1650
01:23:36,333 --> 01:23:41,333
♪ Like you imagined
when you were young ♪
1651
01:23:41,917 --> 01:23:43,750
♪ Talks like a gentleman ♪
1652
01:23:43,833 --> 01:23:49,667
♪ Like you imagined
when you were young ♪
1653
01:23:52,292 --> 01:23:56,542
♪ I said he doesn't look
a thing like Jesus ♪
1654
01:24:00,083 --> 01:24:04,708
♪ He doesn't look a
thing like Jesus ♪
1655
01:24:06,375 --> 01:24:09,250
♪ But more than
you'll ever know ♪
1656
01:24:16,375 --> 01:24:17,750
♪ Night-oh ♪
1657
01:24:18,250 --> 01:24:19,708
♪ Night-oh ♪
1658
01:24:19,792 --> 01:24:23,125
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
1659
01:24:23,208 --> 01:24:26,583
♪ Night-oh, night-oh ♪
1660
01:24:26,667 --> 01:24:30,000
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
1661
01:24:36,958 --> 01:24:40,375
♪ Please come to prom with
me, my Hannah Banana ♪
1662
01:24:40,458 --> 01:24:43,708
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
1663
01:24:43,792 --> 01:24:47,208
♪ Night, is a night, is
a night, is a night ♪
1664
01:24:47,292 --> 01:24:50,542
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
1665
01:24:50,625 --> 01:24:54,042
♪ Night, is a night, is
a night, is a night ♪
1666
01:24:54,125 --> 01:24:57,417
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
1667
01:24:57,500 --> 01:25:00,875
♪ One foot, two foot,
three foot, dance ♪
1668
01:25:00,958 --> 01:25:04,167
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
1669
01:25:04,250 --> 01:25:07,583
♪ Six foot, seven foot,
eight foot, dance ♪
1670
01:25:07,667 --> 01:25:10,958
♪ Prom night come and
me no wanna go alone ♪
120963
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