All language subtitles for Yes Minister S02E01 - The Compassionate Society

- What is it today, sir?
- The Ministry.

All morning on Health
Service administration.

A chap just now on the radio

said the trouble with health,
education and transport

is that people in Government
go to private hospitals

and send their kids to private schools!

Comedy programme, was it?

And go to work in chauffeur-driven cars!

Think there's something in it, sir?

If you and Sir Humphrey went
to work on a number 27...

Quite impracticable!

We work long enough hours as it is,
without having to wait at bus stops.

- You'd need more efficient buses.
- Certainly would.

Yes, that's what he was saying.

Same with the Health Service.
You a member of BUPA, sir?

- Anything on the radio, Roy?
- "Yesterday in Parliament".

Don't bother...

Mr Lanford, opposition
member for Birmingham,

asked the Administrative
Affairs Minister, James Hacker,

about reducing administrators
in the Health Service.

We have already
achieved a reduction of 11.3%

in administrative staff

and are actively pursuing
further economies.

Would you explain
how his assurance to the House

squares with this minute
from his own department?

Then Mr Lanford
dramatically produced a paper.

I quote, "If
admin staff were reclassified

"from administrative to technical..."

"...and the comparison changed
from the financial to calendar year,

"then the figures will
show a fall of 11.3%. "

Would the Minister care to
comment on this shabby deception?

Bit of a googly, sir.

I... er... I... erm...

I have no knowledge of the
document you're brandishing.

I shall give the
file reference to the Minister

in exchange for an assurance
of a full independent enquiry.

I will give that assurance.

The House read the
Scottish Fisheries' Bill...

That's a bit rough, innit?
"A full independent enquiry"!

- You were dropped in it there.
- I think I got away with it.

Lucky they didn't ask you
about that new hospital, sir.

They finished it 15 months ago,
and it's still got no patients.

The DHSS can't afford to staff it.

It's got staff, 500 administrators.

- Just no patients.
- Who told you?

My mate Charlie, a driver
for the Health Secretary.

- I'm appalled!
- So am I.

The incompetence of it!

I can't think what came over you.

I beg your pardon!

- A full independent enquiry.
- Humphrey, that's not what I meant.

- But you mentioned incompetence.
- Yours, Humphrey, yours!

- Mine?!
- You dropped me into it?

We can't foresee a small omission
from the brief, but a full enquiry?!

I don't want an enquiry, but if
you're drowning and thrown a rope...

That wasn't a rope, it was a noose!

You should've stood up for the department!

I prepared thoroughly for
yesterday's Question Time,

but nowhere was the suggestion you'd juggled
the figures so I'd mislead the House!

You wanted the figures reduced?
So we reduced the figures!

- Yes, but not the administrators.
- Of course not.

- That's not what I meant.
- Minister, one isn't a mind-reader!

- You said reduce them, so we did.
- And another thing:

How did this get out? Another leak?

This isn't a department, it's a colander!

How can we govern responsibly,
if backbenchers get all the facts?

- The enquiry gives us some time.
- So does a time-bomb!

- Is there a disposal squad?
- Disposal squad?

Couldn't we get the independent
enquiry to exonerate us?

- Do you mean rig it?
- No, no, no, no!

Well... yes.

Minister!

It depends on who the chairman is.

- He absolutely has to be sound.
- Sound?

He will know what is required.
He will perceive the implications.

He will have a sympathetic
insight into the problems.

In short, he will be "sound".

You mean... bent?

No, of course not!

He will be a man of broad understanding...

How about... a retired politician?

And unimpeachable integrity.

Yes, I see what you mean.

- A businessman?
- Oh, really!

- An academic?
- No, no, no.

- Who've you got in mind?
- Perhaps a retired civil servant.

- Good thinking, Humphrey.
- Sir Maurice Williams.

Might not he be too independent?

- Well, he's hoping for a peerage.
- Not through this?

No, but the right finding
will earn him Brownie points!

- Brownie points?!
- They all add up towards the badge!

- Well, Sir Maurice it is.
- Thank you, Minister.

Thank you... Brown Owl.

Oh!

Good morning, Bernard.

- Two points... the Cuban refugees.
- Not that again?

It's about our refusal
to do any more for them.

It's not my fault, it's the
Treasury. You can't beat the Treasury!

I shall say nothing.

One more public humiliation and I'll
become a political refugee myself!

- And the other point?
- The alleged empty hospital.

As I warned you, the driver's
network is not wholly reliable.

- Roy's wrong.
- Thank heavens for that!

- How did you find out?
- The private secretaries' network.

And?

In fact, there are only 342
administrative staff at the hospital.

The other 170 are porters, cleaners,
laundry workers, cooks, etc.

And medical staff?

Oh, none of them.

- None?
- No!

We are talking about St Edward's Hospital?

Yes. It's brand-new
and fully-staffed.

Unfortunately, there were cutbacks,

so there was no money
for medical services.

A hospital with over 500
non-medical staff and no patients?

- There's one patient.
- One?

The deputy administrator fell
over scaffolding and broke his leg.

Good God!

Thank heavens I wasn't asked
about this! Why hasn't it got out?

It's been contrived to
look like a building site,

and so far no one's
realised it's operational!

You know, scaffolding,
skips, the normal thing?

Normal?! I'd better look at
it before the opposition does.

Yes, it's surprising the
press haven't found out.

Fortunately, most journalists
are so incompetent,

they wouldn't know today is Wednesday.

It's actually Thursday, Minister.

Let's sit down there.

Why is your Minister
interested in this hospital?

He's greatly concerned
that it has no patients.

- It takes all sorts.
- Yes.

- Evening.
- Good evening.

How can there be patients
when it has no nursing staff?

- Thank you.
- Splendid.

- Sir Humphrey?
- Thank you.

We've found at the DHSS that it
takes time to get things going.

First of all, you have to sort out
the smooth running of the hospital.

Having patients around
would be no help at all.

They'd just be in the way.

- Tell him this is the run-in period.
- Yes, yes, the run-in period.

How long is the run-in
period going to last?

My Minister's agreed to
an independent enquiry.

- You know what I think about that.
- Yes, I know, but...

we are going to get some
patients into St Edward's...

eventually?

Aren't we?

It's possible.

Certainly our present intention.

In a year or two.

Probably... when the financial
situation has eased up a bit.

Not till then?

How can I open 40 new wards
when I'm closing everywhere else?

- Treasury wouldn't wear it.
- My Minister may want to shut the place.

Impossible! What about the unions?

- Are the unions active there yet?
- Good point.

Remember that firebrand
agitator at Southwark Hospital?

Billy Fraser, odious man. Could be useful.

Time he was moved on.

The Health Service is an advanced
case of galloping bureaucracy!

Oh, certainly not galloping!

A gentle canter at the most.

- Instances flood into this office.
- From whom, Minister?

MPs, constituents,
doctors, nurses, the public.

Trouble makers!

- The public?!
- They're the worst.

Listen to this.

Due to current situation,

"it is not possible to issue the
extra stethoscopes applied for.

"We can, however, supply longer
tubes for your existing stethoscopes."

- Well?
- Doesn't that strike you as odd?

- If they have long tubes...
- No, no.

No, not longer stethoscopes,
MORE stethoscopes.

If they had really long tubes,

the doctor could stand in one
place and listen to all the chests.

What about nurses' uniforms?

"Apparently the latest
consignment of nurses' coats

"is made of a see-through
material; nurses issued with these

"are requested to report to the
Director of Uniform Surveillance

"who will assess the
extent of the problem."

- Nice work if you can get it.
- Humphrey, I'm serious!

"Please note that the soft toilet
rolls are for patients not staff.

"It would appear that staff have
been using the soft toilet rolls

"for one reason or another."

"St Stephen's Mortuary will
be closed over Christmas.

"During the holiday, medical
staff are to cooperate

"in keeping pressure off this department."

A very civil and reasonable request.

You think the rest of the year
doctors work hard to keep it busy?

These are a few isolated examples.

The Health Service is as efficient
as the Government allows it.

Nonsense! The figures
speak for themselves.

In ten years, the number of
administrators has risen by 40,000.

The number of hospital
beds has fallen by 60,000.

The annual cost of the Health
Service has gone up by �1.5 billion!

If only British industry
could match this growth record.

You think spending more
money on fewer patients

so we can employ more administrators

is a good way of spending
the taxpayer's money?

Certainly.

This money is solely to
make sick people better.

No, no, no, Minister.

It is to make everybody better.

Better for showing the extent
of their care and compassion.

You see, when money is allocated
to the Health or Social Services,

Parliament and the
country feel... cleansed.

Purified. Absolved. It is a sacrifice.

Dreadful claptrap!

After the sacrifice, nobody questions
what happened to the offering.

- The public does care if it's misspent.
- They care it's not seen to be misspent.

That's not true. Look at the uproar
over mental hospital scandals.

My point exactly.

Those abuses had been
going on happily for years.

Nobody was concerned what was
being done with their money.

- What outraged them was being told!
- A cynical smokescreen!

Do we not agree there's no point in
a hospital run solely for the staff?

- That's not how I would express it.
- It's how I would.

Indeed.

- How would you express it?
- At the end of the day,

one of a hospital's prime
functions is patient care.

One?

Until we have the money for
nursing and medical staff,

it's a function we can't
pursue. In 18 months or so...

- 18 months?
- we can open some wards.

No, it's got to be now.

I suppose we could form an
inter-departmental committee

to examine the feasibility
of monitoring a proposal

for admitting patients earlier.

- How long would that take to report?
- Not long.

How long? About 18 months...!

I suggest we get rid
of all the staff there

and use the money to open
closed wards in other hospitals.

When we can afford it, we open
St Edward's with medical staff.

Do that and you'll delay the
opening for patients for years.

You talk as if the
staff have nothing to do!

- What do they do?
- Really, Minister!

There's a large number of
extremely busy departments.

Firstly, the Contingency Department
for fires, strikes, air raids,

nuclear war, epidemics,
food or water poisoning.

In such a crisis, the hospital
is a key centre for survival.

Then, the Data and Research Department,

conducting a full-scale demographic
survey of the catchment area.

We have to anticipate the future
requirements for maternity,

geriatrics, paediatrics
and the male/female balance.

Thirdly, there's Finance
- projected accounts,

balance sheets and cash-flow budgets.

Then, the Purchasing Department
for purchasing medical equipment,

examining estimates, looking
at price lists and catalogues...

Purchasing what?

Everything, Minister.

Everything from brain scanners
to Brasso! May I continue?

Be briefer.

Would that I could, Minister,
but you need to understand.

Fifth, the Technical
Department for evaluations.

Sixth, the Building Department
dealing with Phase 3 plans,

costing and so forth for the final
phase to be completed by 1994.

Then, there's Maintenance,
Cleaning and Catering,

Personnel in charge of leave,
National Health Insurance, salaries,

as well as staff welfare officers
to look after the 500 employees.

- And finally, Administration.
- Administrators!

More administrators administrating
other administrators!

This is important work, Minister.

The typing pool, stationery,
office furniture and equipment.

- Liaison between departments.
- Are you being serious or not?

- What do you mean?
- There are NO patients!

That is what a hospital's for. Patients!

Ill people! Healing the sick!

But all these vital tasks must
be done with or without patients.

Why?

- Why?
- Why?

I don't understand.

How else can I express it? Why?

Would you sack the army
because there's no war?

Completely different! A
hospital must produce results.

We don't measure our success
by results but by activity.

Those 500 people are seriously overworked!

The full establishment should be 650.

May I show you the paperwork?

No, Humphrey. Enough is enough. Sack them!

Out of the question, Minister.

We need administrators or
the hospital will never open.

- Sack the ancillary staff.
- The unions won't wear it.

Sack half and use the money
to get doctors and nurses,

and open some wards!

No, Humphrey, that's my
last word. My last word!

You may go!

Very well, Minister. I shall
have a word with the unions.

- But I don't hold out much hope.
- Go!

That seems to be everything.
Thank you for coming.

Thank you very much.

Very good meeting.

- Got time for a drink?
- A quick one.

The usual? Make yourself at home.

Thank you.

What are we going to do about St Edward's?

St Edward's Hospital?

Not much of a case. Can't fight you on it.

What do you mean?

We realise you can't keep ancillary
staff on in an empty hospital.

Isn't that a bit defeatist?

What?

- Surely, you can stick up for them?
- You want us to...?

It's not just your workers, you know?

The 342 civil servants must
have some workers to administer.

- Civil servants are never laid off.
- We live in disturbing times.

You mean, if we take industrial
action, you'll support us?

My dear Brian, I am
the Permanent Secretary.

My task is to turn the
wheels of government.

I couldn't possibly
countenance any such action.

But... if there were effective
opposition from the ancillary workers,

the civil servants would have to stay.

And the Minister?

The Minister doesn't know
his ACAS from his NALGO.

I haven't got much of a case.

Hospital empty for 15 months,
wards not open for another year.

Pull yourself together. Think of
your members' wives and children.

Their... cats... budgies!

They're resigned to it by now.

Is Billy Fraser resigned to it?

Yes... but he's over at Southwark.

Do you want to bet?

You mean...?

Well, that's a different matter,
with some real shop-floor militancy.

You see? Unity. Solidarity.

- Thanks for the drink.
- Thank you, Brother.

Please give my kind regards
to our fraternal comrades.

# We shall not We shall not be moved #

Minister, this is Mrs Rogers,
the chief administrator.

- Nice to meet you.
- Billy Fraser, committee chairman.

- How nice to meet you.
- I wouldn't be too sure.

This is 'F' ward.

And this is 'J' theatre.

- How much did all this cost?
- With radiotherapy... two and a quarter million.

- It's appalling it's not used!
- No, a very good thing in some ways.

Prolongs its life,
cuts down running costs.

But there are no patients!

But essential work has to go on.

Aren't patients essential work?

Running an organisation
of 500 people is a big job.

But if they weren't here,
they wouldn't be here!

This is wrong. It won't do.

Either get some patients or I'll close it.

- Well, in the course of time...
- Not in the course of time. Now!

Get rid of 300 staff, get some
doctors and get some patients!

Without those 300 people this
hospital wouldn't function!

And it's functioning now?

Minister, it's one of the
best-run hospitals in the country.

It's up for a Florence Nightingale Award.

- What, pray, is that?
- "The Most Hygienic Hospital".

I've said my last word. 300 staff must go.

- 300 jobs lost?!
- Surgery with a skeleton staff?!

Don't do any surgery. Do varicose
veins, piles... Do something!

- You mean 300 jobs lost?!
- Yes, I do.

A hospital is a place
for healing of the sick!

It's employment for my members,
and you want to sack them.

Is that your compassionate society?

Compassionate to patients
rather than your members!

We'll come out on strike.

Very well, do that.

Who can it harm? Do, please!
Strike, the sooner the better!

Take the administrators with you.
Then we shan't have to pay you.

- How about a drink before home?
- Yes. Thank you, Minister.

- That went well at the hospital.
- Yes, Minister.

- I wasn't standing any argument.
- No, Minister.

Threatening to strike! Played
right into my hands. Cheers!

Aren't we missing the news?

Our diplomatic correspondent
says the US is pressuring the UK

to take Cuban refugees.

The Government has made no comment.

Got no money.

All workers in London hospitals are
to go on strike at Friday midnight.

Right... What?!

A row has blown up at St Edwards

over the proposed laying-off
of 170 ancillary workers.

We spoke to activist Billy Fraser.

We're striking against unemployment.

We can bring London's hospitals
to a complete standstill.

There'll be no blood transfusions,
no cancer treatment, nothingl

Till we have the compassionate society.

- How can you do this to patients?
- It's Mr Hacker that's doing it.

But you're inflicting terrible
sanctions on the innocent public.

I'd like to take this opportunity
to assure the general public,

every stone will be left unturned
in a search for a settlement.

Have you seen the news? You
said you'd talk to the unions!

- What are we going to do?
- We have a more serious problem.

Sir Maurice's independent
enquiry about the department.

It's unfavourable to us.

You said he was sound!

I know, but he's also working as chairman

of the Refugee Resettlement Committee.

There are more Brownie points
for refugees than enquiries!

Precisely, Minister.

We've no money to re-house the refugees.

- Minister?
- I don't want to talk!

It's Number 10...

Hello, Ji...

Yes. Quite.

I see.

Not at all. Thank you.

They've seen Fraser on the news.

They want a peace formula soon!

Sir Maurice says he'll be satisfied
only if the UK will house 1,000 refugees.

But we haven't the money.
Or for 1,000 hospital beds...

- How many refugees?
- 1,000.

1,000 refugees? 1,000 beds!

Minister, that hospital is for
sick British not healthy foreigners!

- There's a huge waiting list.
- Didn't you just say

Sir Maurice's enquiry was
likely to come down against us?

- That's a...
- That what you want?

I see your point, Minister.

Bernard, reinstate all
the workers at St Edward's.

Tell Sir Maurice we can
offer a new hospital,

with accommodation for 1,000 refugees.

Tell the press it was my decision
and that everybody's happy.

- Do want to give a quote, Minister?
- Why not? Say...

"It was a tough decision,
but a necessary one.

"If Britain is to retain the name of..."

- "The compassionate society"?
- Thank you.

"The compassionate society." Got that?

Yes, Minister.