All language subtitles for Yes Minister S01E06 - The Right to Know

Bernard. Minister not in yet?

He's in his office,
having a meeting.

What about?

Nothing very important.

I see.

And what was that meeting
in there yesterday?

He was just reviewing
procedures for briefing him

on answers
to Parliamentary questions.

But there were Principals present
and other assorted underlings.

Just the ones who supply him
with the information, actually.

Bernard, this has to be stopped
at once.

Why?

If he talks to the underlings,
he may learn things we don't know.

- Our position could be undermined.
- If it increases our knowledge...

It is folly if it's at the expense
of your authority.

Why?

Bernard, please stop saying why.

Why?

I mean, could you develop
that point please?

Would you say that the Minister
is starting to run the Department?

Yes, things are going pretty well,
actually.

No, when a Minister actually
starts to run his Department

things are not going pretty well.

They are actually
going pretty badly.

But actually... er... I mean, in fact,

isn't it the Minister's job
to run the Department?

No, Bernard, it is our job.

Or to be more precise,
it is my job,

for which I've had 25 years
experience and training.

Don't you realise what would
happen if the Minister runs it?

No, what?

First, there would be chaos,
naturally.

And second,
which is much more serious,

there would be innovations.

Changes, Bernard.

Public debate.
Outside scrutiny.

Is that what you want?

Good heavens, no.
But what should he do then?

A Minister has three functions.

First, as an advocate,

making the Department's actions
seem plausible

to Parliament and public,
he is our public relations man.

Second, he is our man
in Westminster,

steering our legislation
through Parliament.

And third, he is our breadwinner.

He has to fight in Cabinet
for the money we need

to run our Department.

But, he is not here to review
departmental procedures

with Principals
and Assistant Secretaries.

- But if he's go the time.
- Why has he got the time?

He shouldn't.
That's your fault, Bernard!

You must ensure
he hasn't got the time.

Create activity, Bernard!

He should be making
speeches, visits.

We need deputations,
junkets abroad,

mountains of red boxes, we need
crises, emergencies, panics!

- Pull yourself together, Bernard.
- Yes, but...

- You leave spaces in his diary?
- No, he makes those.

- Fill them up.
- He won't let me.

Don't ask him. Do it.

Make sure he spends more time
where he can't do any damage.

- But where?
- The House of Commons, for instance.

I really do try my best.
There's a deputation in there.

What is it about, Bernard?

Something completely trivial,
preserving badgers in Warwickshire.

Well done, Bernard.

Why didn't you tell me this
when I asked you before?

Actually, I thought
it was rather trivial.

I didn't think
you would approve, actually.

Bernard.

I'll try and find some more
threatened species then, shall I?

You may not have to look very far.

Secretaries who can't occupy their
Ministers are a threatened species,

actually.

We have a sacred trust
to preserve our natural heritage.

That's what this new legislation
is designed to ensure.

As I said in the House,
the system simply isn't working.

It's a hotch-potch.

Local authorities,
tourist authorities,

national parks,
countryside commission, C.P.R.E.

Nobody knows where they are,
nothing gets done.

They're all back biting
and buck passing.

You know
what committees are like.

We are a committee.

Yes. I didn't mean
your sort of committee.

But this new legislation is
designed to create clear authority,

and save a great deal
of public money.

- You ought to welcome it.
- But what about Hayward's Spinney?

A few very small areas will lose
their specially protected status,

because it isn't economical
any longer,

to maintain them
as they ought to.

Hayward's Spinney is
a vital part of our heritage.

The badgers have dwelt there
for generations.

- Can you be sure of that?
- It said so in The Guardian.

Ah, well...

Actually it says that the badgers
have dwelt there for generations!

How would you feel if you had

a lot of office blocks
built over your garden

by a lot of giant badgers?

But a lot of office blocks...
giant badgers?

There's nothing special
about man, Mr. Hacker.

We're not above nature.
We're all a part of it.

Men are animals too, you know.

Yes, I've just come from
the House of Commons.

Sorry, Minister, you are due
for your next appointment.

Oh, what a pity.

Thank you for putting
your case so persuasively.

It's been a pleasure.

Left at the corridor
and down the stairs.

But what will you do about it?

All views will be taken
into consideration.

Now if you'll excuse me...

Very polished performance.
Gracious.

And said nothing.
Very professional.

- Why wasn't I warned?
- About what?

That unifying the administration

would remove protected status
from this beaver whatsit?

Badger colony. Hayward's
Spinney, East Warwickshire.

Somebody
must have know about it.

If somebody did happen to know,

they wouldn't necessarily know
that you wanted to know

what they happened to know,
in case...

- Ah! Sir Humphrey!
- Humphrey!

Good morning, Minister.

Is it your job to help Ministers
make fools of themselves?

I have never met one
that needed any help.

No, it is the last thing...

Why did you encourage me to say
that unifying the administration

meant no loss of amenity,
when I've signed a death warrant

for a whole army of beavers?

- Badgers, Minister.
- What?

Beavers would have a navy.

- Why did you let me do it?
- I did not encourage you to say that.

You did!
The Department prepared this.

- "No loss of amenity", it says.
- No.

- "No significant loss of amenity".
- Same thing.

There's all the difference
in the world.

Almost anything can be attacked
as a "loss of amenity",

and be defended as
"not a significant loss of amenity".

One should appreciate
the significance of "significant".

Well, be that as it may,

any publicity would be
very damaging.

Oh, I think not.

But if there is a loss of amenity...

If you'd approve this release,
you would see

that it does counter
all their arguments.

It points out that the spinney
is deregistered, not threatened.

Badgers are very plentiful
all over Warwickshire.

And it points out the connection

between Badgers and brucellosis.

"Cannot be regarded
as a significant loss of amenity".

So this might not get
into the National Press?

A few lines on The Guardian.
Nothing to worry about.

Only the urban middle class
worry about

the preservation of the countryside,
because they don't live in it.

- Would that be all, Minister?
- Yes!

No, this may well blow over,

but it doesn't answer
my basic question.

- Which was?
- Why wasn't I told about it?

There are those who have argued
and indeed cogently

that on occasion
there are some things

it is better for a Minister
not to know.

What are you talking about?

Minister, your answers
in the House

and at the Press Conference
were superb.

You were convincing.
The critics were silenced.

But could you have spoken
with the same authority

if the ecological pressure group
had been badgering you?

But I have a right to know!
I am the people's representative!

What right have you got
to withhold this information?

- It's in your own best interests.
- What do you mean?

It's outrageous!
It must not occur again.

I've a plan for the reorganising
of this Department

which would ensure
that it doesn't.

- Indeed?
- Yes, indeed.

If I had one Under Secretary

and two Assistant Secretaries
reporting to me...

- Minister. Please!
- Let me tell you my plan.

The plan is immaterial.

Minister, I have
something to say to you

which you may not like to hear.

Why should today be
any different?

Minister, the traditional allocation
of executive responsibilities

has always been so determined
as to liberate

the ministerial incumbent
from the administrative minutiae

by devolving
the managerial functions

to those whose qualifications
have better formed them

for the performance of such
humble offices, thereby releasing

their political overlords
for the more onerous duties

and deliberations which are
the inevitable concomitant

of their exalted position.

What made you think
I wouldn't want to hear that?

I thought it might upset you.

How could it?
I didn't understand a single word.

For once in your life,
put it into plain English.

If you insist.

You are not here
to run this Department.

I beg your pardon?

You are not here
to run this Department.

I think I am.
The people think I am, too.

With respect Minister,
you are... they are wrong.

And who does run
this Department?

I do.

Oh, I see...

- What am I supposed to do?
- We've been through all this.

Make policy.

Get legislation enacted.

And above all secure
the Department's budget in Cabinet.

It seems the budget
is all you care about.

It is rather important.

We might end up
with a department so small

that even a Minister could run it.

Are we to have a disagreement
about the nature of democracy?

No, Minister, merely
a demarcation dispute.

What I mean
is that the menial chore

of running a department
is beneath you.

You're fashioned
for a nobler calling.

Well, I leave
the routine paperwork to you

but I must insist on direct access
to all information.

Never again
"There are some things

it is better for a Minister
not to know".

- Well, Minister...
- That is an order, Humphrey!

As you say, Minister.
If that is what you really want.

It's treating Cabinet Ministers
as if they were ten year olds.

Afternoon.

- Finished with The Guardian?
- Yes.

I haven't got
the Socialist Worker for you.

Daddy's pleased to see you down
for breakfast?

- He hasn't seen you for a while...
- I was having a lie-in.

Better than a sit-in, I suppose.

Why were you so late last night?

There are some things it's better
for a father not to know.

Don't you start!

- What?
- Nothing, nothing.

I was out with the Trots.

Gosh...

Are you going to see a doctor?

The Trotskyites!

Oh, a Trotskyite now are you?

No. Peter is.

Peter?

Yes, Peter.

You've only met him
about 15 times.

Oh, is he the one with the...
and the...

Yes.

- Jim, I need your help today.
- What with?

Shopping, the kitchen plughole's
blocked, the lawn needs mowing.

- I've got all these boxes to do.
- They can wait.

Annie, I am a Cabinet Minister.

A member
of Her Majesty's Government.

It's a fairly important job.

But you have 23,000 civil servants
to help you, I haven't.

Play with your memos later,
the drains need fixing now.

Oh, Lucy!

You've got marmalade
all over my cabinet papers.

Oh, God.

Now I've got butter on them.
Get a cloth.

- Get it yourself.
- Lucy.

You're not in Whitehall now.

"Yes, Minister", "Certainly",
"Just as you say".

"May I lick your boots, Minister?"

That's not fair.

Those Civil Servants may be
always kowtowing to Daddy,

but they never take
any notice of him.

I've just won a victory
in my Department.

Look at all those boxes.

That's what I mean.

You were better, now they've
done a snow job on you again.

- Not at all, I asked for all this.
- Why?

Humphrey said,
"There are some things

it's better for a Minister
not to know".

He's withholding things from me,
probably important things.

So I have insisted that I am told
everything that goes on.

How did you get to be
a Cabinet Minister?

You're such a clot.

- What?
- Don't you see?

You've played
right into Humphrey's hands.

An open invitation to swamp you
with useless information.

I don't think so.

What's in that box,
for instance?

Technical reports,
feasibility studies,

past papers
of assorted committees,

stationery requisitions...

Oh, damnation.

You can't win.
It's Catch 22, isn't it?

So little information
you don't know the facts,

or so much you can't find them.

They've got you
going and coming.

- There's a story about you here.
- I've read it.

- "Hacker, The Badger Butcher".
- Daddy's read it.

- What's all this then?
- Lot of rubbish.

"Hacker admitted that removing
protected status

from Hayward's Spinney mean
the end of the badger colony".

"A spokesman for the Preservation
of British Wildlife said:

"Hacker has signed
the badger's death warrant".

One: I am not a babgerb...
badger butcher...

Whatever it is.

Two: Badgers are not
an endangered species.

Three: The removal
of protected status

does not mean
all the badgers will be shot.

And four: If a few badgers
die for the sake

of a master plan that will save
Britain's natural heritage, tough.

A master plan, mein F�hrer.

- The end justifies the means?
- Lucy...

It's because badgers can't vote.

If badgers had votes, you
wouldn't be exterminating them.

You'd be at Hayward's Spinney,
shaking paws, and kissing cubs...

Ingratiating yourself
the way you always do.

- Not a nice thing to say.
- It's true, isn't it?

Yes, but Daddy's in politics.
He has to be ingratiating.

- Thank you very much.
- It's got to be stopped.

- The decision has been taken.
- I'm going to stop it.

Quite simple, get yourself
adopted as a candidate,

win a general election,
serve on the back benches,

become a Minister
and repeal the act.

The badgers might be
getting on a bit by then.

Assistant Secretaries
reporting to the Minister!

I know.

Does he think
he is a civil servant?

The arrogance
of these politicians!

Ah, Bernard.

Thank you.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Fine.

You can show that last one
to the Minister.

He'll be quiet for a bit.

Is something the matter?

Well, it's just that...

I've been increasingly
worried about

keeping things back
from the Minister.

- Shall I...
- No, no, no.

What do you mean?

Why shouldn't he be allowed
to know things if he wants to?

Silly Boy!

Bernard, this country is governed
by Ministers making decisions

from the various
alternative proposals

- that we offer them, is it not?
- Oh, yes.

Well...

If they had all the facts,

they'd see all sorts
of other possibilities.

They might even formulate
their own plans

instead of choosing between
the ones that we put up.

- Would that matter?
- Would it matter!

But why?

As long as we can formulate
our own proposals, we can

guide them
to the correct decision.

Can we? How?

It's like a conjuror.

The Three Card Trick.

"Take any card", they pick
the one that you intend.

Ours is the four word trick.

There are four words if you want
a Minister to accept a proposal.

Quick. Simple. Popular. Cheap.

And there are four words
for a proposal

if you want it thrown out.

Complicated. Lengthy.
Expensive. Controversial.

And to be really sure
the Minister doesn't accept it,

you say the decision
is courageous.

Worse than "controversial".

"Controversial" means
"this'll lose your votes".

"Courageous" means
"this will lose you the election".

You see, if they have all the facts
instead of just the options

they might start thinking
for themselves!

- And the system works?
- Works?

It's made Britain
what she is today.

Oh, yes. I see. Yes.

- What about your man?
- I'm giving him plenty to read.

Shouldn't you show him

the positive virtues
of being kept ignorant?

If he doesn't know that
after 20 years as a politician...

- You look worried, Bernard.
- I've just found this letter.

I don't know
if I should open it.

You know the rules.

Private secretaries shall open
all classifications up to Top Secret.

Only letters marked "personal"
shall remain unopened,

unless the Minister
orders otherwise.

What about Daddy?

Where does your father
come into this?

No. To "Daddy". "Urgent".

- Does it say "Personal"?
- No.

Well then, it must be opened.

- It's from the Minister's daughter.
- You astound me.

Trouble at the mill.

Miss Hacker will join
the badger protest.

- I thought it was over.
- She and her boyfriend.

A 24 hour "Save the badgers"
vigil in Hayward's Spinney

unless protection is restored.

And they announcing it
to the press at 5.00 p.m.

"Minister's daughter
in badger protest vigil".

A little embarrassing,
but not too serious.

The Minister will be
more than a little embarrassed.

"Minister's daughter in nude
badger protest vigil".

What!

Miss Hacker
and her boyfriend will be...

that is, will not not be...
I mean...

- Do you mean starkers, Bernard?
- Yes, Sir Humphrey.

- A different complexion on it.
- Especially in this weather.

Put in crude journalistic terms,
this makes it a big story.

Front page: with photograph.

Hello, Humphrey.

Something the matter?

Well?

Shall we say a slight
embarrassment, Minister?

How slight?

Without wishing in any sense
to overstate the case

or cause undue alarm,
nevertheless, the fact remains...

Come on! Out with it.

- I have a confession to make.
- That's a change.

Well, come on, Humphrey,
make a clean breast of it.

Not the happiest of phrases
under the circumstances.

How do you mean?

I have to confess
that the badgers

may be a somewhat bigger story
than we thought.

Don't tell me
they're going to have kittens.

It is not the badgers
who are going to have kittens.

There'll be a 24 hour protest vigil
in Hayward's Spinney.

- That wouldn't be newsworthy.
- This is slightly different.

It's to be conducted...

by a girl student
and her boyfriend.

- Just the two of them?
- Yes.

They don't matter.
A pair of layabouts.

- They might matter to some people.
- Nonsense.

These students are
just exhibitionists.

In this case they have
something to exhibit.

- How do you mean?
- It's to be a nude protest vigil.

I see.

- That would make the front pages!
- Yes, quite so.

The press just mustn't find out.

I don't know
what gets into these students.

- It's appalling. They're shameless.
- Indeed, Minister.

It's their parents.

They don't bring them up
properly.

Just let them run wild
and feed them

all this anti establishment
nonsense.

Perhaps it isn't entirely
the parents fault.

Of course it is!

Authority, Humphrey.

All this is an indictment

of their parent's lack
of discipline.

So they just take it out
on innocent people like me.

- Who are they?
- We know the young lady's name.

Lady!
Who is she?

It seems she's a Miss Hacker.

Hacker... oh, that's my name.

That's a coincidence.

Not a complete coincidence.

Not... not Lucy?

Oh, my God!

Oh, my God!

She will be telephoning
in ten minutes time.

Perhaps the press won't be
all that interested? No, no...

But will they go all the way
up to Warwickshire?

For a story like this,

they'll go all the way
to the South Pole.

This story must be killed.
Advise me, Humphrey.

What about
a little parental discipline?

Don't be silly.

- Make her listen to reason.
- She's a sociology student.

Perhaps Mrs. Hacker
could lock her in her room?

Annie's out at work.
What about the police?

"Minister sets police
on nude daughter".

I'm not sure that completely
kills the story.

- There must be something.
- Perhaps if I look at the files...

My daughter's about to get
page one of the Sun,

and probably page three,
and you just think of the files.

- Nevertheless...
- They're all out there.

- What angle they'll take?
- Wide angle.

Opposition
will have fun with this.

"Does the proud father
wish to make a statement?".

"Is the Hacker family getting
too much exposure?".

"Is the Minister trying
to conduct a coverup?".

"Does he run his Department
better than his family?".

You'd like me to tell them
that Humphrey runs it?

No, of course not.
I am your Private Secretary.

Do you mean
that when the chips are down,

you're on my side,
not Humphrey's?

Minister, it's my job to see
the chips stay up.

Hello?

Can I speak to Mr. Hacker?
It's his daughter.

It's for you, Minister.

Lucy. Hello, darling.

- Hello, Daddy.
- I got your note.

For a moment
I thought it was serious.

It is serious.
It's deadly serious.

Pete and I are just going
to ring the press,

then we're off to the Spinney.

Don't do that!
Think of the damage.

What damage?

Well... to me.

To you? Isn't that typical?

What about damage to badgers?

You're not going
to be exterminated.

Well, in a sense, yes.

Then you know what to do.

- Ten...
- Look... Look...

- Nine...
- Lucy, don't...

- Eight...
- Lucy!

If I could have a word
with the young lady.

Sir Humphrey Appleby
wants a word with you.

- A new development.
- Six... five...

Miss Hacker...
Ah, how do you do?

Humphrey Appleby here.

- Mr. Hacker's Permanent Secretary.
- Five and holding.

If I could just have a word.

I have just seen the latest report
from the Government's inspectors,

which throws new light
on the issue.

Why?

Apparently there is
no badger colony in Spinney.

Now, it says here

"Last evidence of badger
droppings, freshly turned earth

was recorded eleven years ago".

But the papers...

Apparently the story was fed
to them by a property developer.

- Property developer?
- Yes. The Council has plans

to use the spinney for a new College
of Further Education,

and the developer wants it
for offices and luxury flats.

Well, if it's protected
he won't be able to.

And, nor will the Council.

And he knows they'll use
the money for something else,

then he can establish
that there's no badger colony,

get the protection order removed
and build his offices.

It's common practice.

So there isn't any wildlife
in the spinney at all?

Well, there is some.
It's been used as a rubbish dump

by people from Wootton Wawen,
so there're lots of rats.

- Rats?
- Yes. Several thousand, actually.

They are wildlife too,
in their way, aren't they?

It would be a pity to play
into the developer's hands.

Yes, I suppose it would.

Yes, I very much respect
your views and your commitment.

Would you like to speak
to the Minister?

No, that's all right.
Oh, well. Forget it then.

Humphrey!
I take it all back!

It was nothing, Minister.
It was all in the files.

A property developer!

The cunning devils...
Let me look at the file!

I don't think
you'd find them interesting.

- Let me have a look.
- No, I don't think you'd...

Humphrey!

It was true, wasn't it?

Was there one word of truth
in that whole story

you told to Lucy?

Do you really want me
to answer that question?

No.

- I don't think I do.
- Quite so.

Perhaps there are some things
it is better for a Minister not to know.